The Realm of Literacy

Projection Room Voices: You're redoing this one?

ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah! Greetings and salutations, folks! Welcome to the revamped sporking of Hush, Hush! Some of you may recall when I sporked this the first time around, over at the Realm. Well, I took a look at it, and decided that my sporking skills improved and I missed quite a few things the first time around, so I’d be giving this a second shot. So please enjoy, and -

[Suddenly, the closet door flies open behind her and crashes to the ground. Ket Makura is standing inside of it, spatula between her teeth and an armload of papers clutched to her chest.]

ZeldaQueen: The hell?!?

Ket: *Spits out the spatula* I’m not letting you do this alone. This series is full of religious fail, and I aim to rip it apart. I am personally offended, and I demand satisfaction. I have done research! *Drops the stack of papers with a heavy thud.*

ZeldaQueen: Well, far be it for me to deny you the chance to inflict the torture of badfic upon yourself. And there certainly is quite a lot of religious fail. *holds out hand* Welcome to Hush Hush, Ket!

Ket: *Picks up her things, then shakes Zelda’s hand firmly* Thank you. *Sits beside her* Just a note before we begin: I’m an enthusiast when it comes to religion, especially things to do with angels and demons, but I don’t call myself an expert. Religious studies are not always concrete--to be blunt, it’s hard to get scholars to agree on what time it is. However, I’m here to point out the absolute fail that Fitzpatrick has done with even the most basic of research into Abrahamic religions.

ZeldaQueen: Well, no time to get started on that like the present! Let us begin.

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

( In Which A Nobleman Decides To Engage In Field Sex And Walk Home In The Rain For No Reason )

ZeldaQueen: People! Hello! This chapter...this chapter is going to be bad. I mean, really bad. This is basically the pinnacle, the midpoint of all this book's fuckwittery, and by god it's terrifying. You remember how I have been omniously commenting about how things should be remembered for later and how it's going to get worse? Yeah, this is the chapter I've been alluding to all of those times. So. Because of this, I'm splitting the chapter into two parts. And should you need respite from the horrible taste that this chapter will undoubtedly leave in your mouth, I highly recommend gehayi's wonderful spitefic here

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