zelda_queen | Crescendo: Chapter 14 (Part 1) (Reply)

ZeldaQueen: *cheerfully* Well, it's certainly been some time, hasn't it? How about we continue on, through the never-ending fail?

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

Chapter 14 (Part 1)

ZeldaQueen: When we last left off, Nora had been humiliated at work in the weirdest way possible, met Scott at a party just as an excuse to stalk Patch, and managed to be unsympathetic while talking about her dead dad, while Scott talked about how horrible his life was.

Here, we start off with Nora driving Scott back to his place, where you may recall he just invited an entire beach party to stop by. I guess there must be quite a few alternate routes to get to his place, because Nora says she drives there on a "narrow and winding" road, but doesn't mention it being clogged with worked-up and probably drunk teenagers. She reaches Scott's place, which she describes as "a complex of Cape Cod–style apartments with tiny balconies and gray shingles. There was a run-down tennis court on the small lawn out front. The whole place looked like it could use a fresh coat of paint", and once again I'm reminded how Fitzpatrick seems determined to make everything run-down and filthy. The only place I recall being written as halfway pleasant is...the Miller home. You know, the one belonging to the people Nora and the readers are supposed to hate. Make of that what you will.

Nora pulls up to the place and asks Scott if he's good to get inside on his own. Scott, who is apparently so drunk off of his ass that he's falling on his head, drapes his arm around the back of her seat and starts to sloppily hit on her. Of course he does. God forbid someone interact with Nora and it not shift into something creepy and laden with unfortunate implications. Scott refuses to go inside because "The carpet smells like dog urine and the bathroom ceiling has mold" and says he'd rather stay outside, with Nora. For some reason, she thinks that the only reason he'd want to remain in her company is because he's drunk. I...don't know why she'd think that. I mean, yes she's an annoying, judgmental bint to us, but in-universe she's supposed to be quiet, polite, unassuming, and generally nice enough. And it's not like Scott's been classified as one of the Shallow Mean Kids who apparently makes up most of the student body at her school.

In any case, Nora starts ordering Scott out of the car, on the grounds that it's late and she has to call her mom. You know, her mom who's been out of town and worried about Nora's wellbeing and only checks in on her once a day. Apparently, even though Nora has a cell phone, she can't be bothered to slip away for five minutes to leave her mom a message.

Scott's response to this is to start twisting stray locks of her hair around his finger and say "Pretty". I can only hear him saying that in a stereotypical caveman voice. And again, why does everyone constantly feel the need to paw Nora up?!? Does no one have any concept of "personal space"?! Bad enough that Nora was written as being too spineless to tell people "No!" and leave, but everyone just seems to ignore the basic decency of giving her some space!

Nora tells Scott that he's drunk, and that's the only reason he's hitting on her. If he's so drunk that he's acting like this, I don't think just telling him "You're drunk" is going to solve much, Nora. Also, apparently he's so drunk that he won't be able to remember the events of this night. I...guess that's possible, since we don't know what he was drinking on the beach, but I have to wonder how Nora is so certain about it. She doesn't drink at all, nor does she seem to hang around much with people who do get drunk. So how does she know when or how a person gets so smashed they lose their memories of the night prior?

Ah, well. That bit of pointlessness goes nowhere, as Scott replies with "I thought we had a bonding moment back at the beach". What, did he honestly think that a mellow conversation about how much their lives sucked would launch him directly to having sex with her? Or to making out with her in the car, or...gah! I don't know what it is, with this thing! It's like Fitzpatrick was aiming for a particular thing to happen, but just skewed it enough that I'm not sure.

Anyway, moving along. This is all just a whole lot of nothing but komedy. Nora insists that he has to get out, and that she'll take his car home and drop it back at his place tomorrow. *tirely* No, Nora, don't do that! Don't you remember that in this insane world you live in, you get in trouble with the cops for driving someone else's car? In any case, Scott is tired and drunk and understandably is now regretting calling for everyone to have a party at his place. He asks Nora to go in and tell everyone to leave. Nora's response is "You just invited sixty people over. I’m not going to go in and tell them it’s called off".

You know, even if they don't call the party off, I somehow doubt it'll last long anyway. This is being held in a regular apartment (I'm assuming that the place has a main room and two bedrooms) so there's not much space, there's no snacks, and the entertainment and music would be whatever they scrape together on the fly. The only hook seems to be the promise of booze, and somehow, I doubt Fitzpatrick knows how much beer it would take to keep sixty teenagers busy, especially sixty teenagers who desperately want to party hard. In fact I asked my brother (who is usually the one responsible for providing the drinks when he and his friends have parties) about how much he'd estimate would be needed. He guessed at least a keg, if not several kegs of booze, to make sure everyone was happy. Scott announced this little party on the fly, so there's no way he could have gotten that much alcohol together. And I don't care how much of an alcoholic Scott is supposed to be, I refuse to believe that he just happened to have a couple of kegs of beer lying around his apartment.

*sighs* Moving on. We get more komedy as Scott leans out of the car to puke all over the sidewalk. Of course, this means that Nora has to haul him up a whole...uh, three flights of steps. Which is also treated as komedy, as Nora whines about how she has to haul his drunken ass all the way to the top floor, ohes teh noes!

Okay, granted I've never had to drag a person who's larger than myself up some stairs, so maybe it's more difficult than it sounds to me. But Scott's still conscious, just really loopy. It's not like he's a dead weight she's hauling along. There's no mention of him tripping or grabbing at her or hindering Nora's progress in any way. Not to mention, Nora's supposed to be into jogging and going to the gym, so it's not like she's supposed to be out of shape. I don't know. Correct me if I'm wrong.

In any case, they find that Scott's apartment door is already open. I'm going to have to assume that Scott and his mom just left the place unlocked, because otherwise, how else did they all get in? Nora drags Scott inside, and of course we're told that the place is "alive with the chaos of bodies pulsing and grinding to rap turned up so loud I could feel pieces of my brain shaking loose".

Um, okay, once again I have to turn to the few examples I know of through my brother. He and his friends have a lot of parties where they get booze and hang out at someone's apartment. But I've never heard him describe those parties like they're in nightclubs. Mostly they just watched TV or talked and, if they felt like it, left to go bar hopping. Like I said before, I'm pretty sure that apartments like that are too small for hard-core partying. At the very least, if they're playing the music so damned loud, it should just be a matter of time before the neighbors call the police on them.

Well, whatever! There's no point to that, besides the somewhat unsettling fact that every social get-together made by the other kids in Nora's school are always portrayed like a moral guardian's worst nightmare of a high school party. Instead, Scott directs Nora to his bedroom, and she drags him in there. We get a description of his room, which actually is very nice. It's not over the top, it's not weird, and it actually sounds like a bedroom a teenage boy like Scott might have (a guitar, a movie poster, etc). Scott tries to get Nora to sit next to him on the mattress, because every situation Nora gets into apparently must become as awkward and creepy as humanly possible. She rather sensibly decides to leave, but agrees to grant his last request to bring him a glass of water.

Oh, and the reason Nora agrees to do this? She feels an "aggravating tug of sympathy" for Scott, and doesn't want to leave him to "wake tomorrow in a pool of his own vomit". So she figures the best thing to do is clean him up and give him medicine for tomorrow's hangover. This is a guy who, quite frankly, has come across as pitiable. His parents are divorced, he's living in a run-down apartment, he's flunking out of school, and he's constantly drunk to numb himself to the shit going on in his life. And Nora describes the sympathy she's feeling for him - sympathy to do the most basic of things and bring him a frigging glass of water, as "aggravating". Wow, folks. Our heroine!

Not to mention, Nora? If you think Scott's going to vomit in his sleep, bringing him mouthwash and ibuprofen is not exactly what you should be doing. Because if someone pukes in their sleep, the worst case scenario is not "Oh icky, I woke up smelling and feeling gross!" Vomiting in your sleep has the very real, very good chance of suffocating. Because if you vomit while lying on your back, it goes back down your throat. That's the only place it has to go! That's why you're supposed to lay people on their sides when it looks like they run the risk of vomiting while sleeping!

But no, the possibility of Scott choking in his sleep never occurs to Nora. Instead, we're supposed to think that it's so good of her to get him his water and aspirin! And it's even harder to think of this as a genuine act of charity, because we're going to see that Fitzpatrick is just using it as as an excuse to push her stupid romantic wangst. You see, Nora squeezes past the party guests and gets into the kitchen area (which is apparently completely empty, probably because Fitzpatrick has no idea that partying teenagers like to scavenge for food if none is offered) and just as finds a glass of water and fills it under the tap (and yes, this is told in the most pointless detail ever), who should be staring at her from behind than Patch! Oh boy! Weren't you just missing him?

Patch is leaning against a refrigerator and has his baseball cap pulled down, because...I guess that just spells Bad Boy.

ZeldaQueen: Tell it like it is, Hobbes!

Anyway, we are then "treated" to yet another of those baffling Bat Deductions that Nora comes to, in regards to Patch's thoughts.

"He’d separated himself from the crowd, and his ball cap was pulled low, signaling he wasn’t interested in soliciting conversation. His stance was impatient. He glanced at his watch"

ZeldaQueen: Yes, Nora, we know he separated himself from the crowd. You just told us he wasn't in the crowd, because he was in the kitchen area! I think the fact that he's moping off to the side and not talking to anyone is more of an indicator that he doesn't want conversation than his hat is. And how the fuck can one's stance be "impatient"? I can understand impatient body language, but still!

Also, the fact that he's glancing at his watch is a fine indicator that he's impatient. So please, stop holding my hand and telling me how I should know what he's feeling.

I shall now spork the next bit, because it's that stupid.

-------------

Seeing no way to avoid him, aside from climbing over the counter directly into the living room,

ZeldaQueen: No, Nora, there is an easy way to avoid him. Walk out the other side of the kitchen. You specifically told us that the kitchen area was "U-shaped". There are two openings to a U. Leave the other way

and feeling I owed him civility—

ZeldaQueen: For fuck's sake, why? You never felt you owed him civility when you were screaming at him for kissing Marcy! Now you suddenly think you ought to be talking to him? Good lord, your characterization flip-flops more than a fish out of water!

plus, weren’t we both old enough to handle this maturely?—

ZeldaQueen: No. No you are not. You're both immature children who throw fits and whine when you don't get your way

I moistened my lips, which suddenly felt dry as sand, and walked over. “Having fun?”

ZeldaQueen: Patch never has fun unless he's groping you, Nora. Haven't you learned that by now?

The hard lines of his face softened into a smile. “I can think of at least one thing I’d rather be doing.”

ZeldaQueen: Well, clearly you're already stalking Nora. Isn't that one of your favorite past times?

If that was an innuendo, I was going to ignore it.

ZeldaQueen: Of course it's innuendo, Nora. It's always innuendo! That's the only thing this idiot knows to say!

I boosted myself onto the kitchen counter, legs dangling over the edge.

ZeldaQueen: No, Nora. This is not taking a break-up with dignity. This is a situation where you possibly say "Hi, how are you?" and then walk past. You do not park your butt and make it clear you're hanging around. At the very least, every time you do that, it scuppers your plan of breaking away from him. And, my dear Nora, WASN'T THAT WHAT YOU SPENT THE ENTIRE LAST CHAPTER WEEPING AND WAILING ABOUT?!?

I'm serious! Does she not remember that?! She was considering suicide because, oh no, she couldn't ever be around Patch again, for his own safety! She had been vowing to pack her schedule as full as she could, so she wouldn't even have time to think about it! And now, she's acting like they'd just broken up over a wacky misunderstanding and it's fine for them to continue to interact! What the fuck?! Did Fitzpatrick forget which particular break-up those two were at, by this point?

“Staying the whole night?”

ZeldaQueen: Again, Nora, you seem hilariously optimistic that this party would even last the night

“If I have to stay the whole night, shoot me now.”

ZeldaQueen: Gladly! *readies sniper rifle*

I spread my hands. “No gun, sorry.”

ZeldaQueen: *irritably* Will you stop with that "spread my hands" nonsense? All of the characters constantly do that! It's frigging annoying as heck to read about, and it makes them sound like they're sprites in a visual novel!

His smile was bad-boy perfection. “That’s all that’s stopping you?”

ZeldaQueen: If she had a brain in her head, yes. Now wipe that smug grin off your face, or I'll take you up on your offer!

“Shooting you wouldn’t kill you,” I pointed out. “One of the downsides of being immortal.”

ZeldaQueen: ...Oh, okay. Thanks for reminding us of something we all knew, already. And you knew. And Patch knew. I think everybody had it well drilled into their heads by now that Patch is immortal.

Also, Nora? Did you fail to notice his clear sarcasm?

He nodded, a fierce smile creeping out beneath the shadow of his ball cap. “But you would if you could?”

ZeldaQueen: Oh God Almighty! *face palm* I would like to say that I hate his smug "I'm such a monster, you must want to kill me!" schtick just as much as Edward Cullen's "I'M A MONSTER AND BELLA SURELY WILL LEAVE ME!" business. We know full well that Nora's not going to grow a brain and leave him, so it's just annoying.

I hesitated before answering. “I don’t hate you, Patch. Yet.”

ZeldaQueen: Even though you have damned good reason!

“Hate’s not strong enough?” he guessed. “Something deeper?”

ZeldaQueen: That holds true for me!

But seriously, folks, look at this. This is how he's acting for breaking up with her. But when he admits to wanting to sacrifice her? When he traps her in a motel, holds her on the bed, and threatens to kill her? When he finds out that it was his stalking that lead to Jules finding her so he could kill her? When it turns out that his insane ex tried to murder Nora? He never is like this. He never guesses that she must hate him.

Either Fitzpatrick forgot about all of that, or these two idiots are so crazy, they find a teenage breakup to be more traumatizing than multiple attempted murders

I smiled, but not enough to show teeth.

ZeldaQueen: This pointlessness brought to you by Crescendo!

We both seemed to sense that nothing good would come of this conversation, especially not here,

ZeldaQueen: No. It never does! Why do you always forget this?!

But regardless, when you reach this point in a conversation, this is the time when you should politely excuse yourself and -

and Patch rescued both of us by tipping his head toward the crowd behind us. “And you? Staying long?”

ZeldaQueen: No, see, that's the exact opposite of what you should be doing. If you know that you were heading for disaster before, it means you clearly aren't ready to be "mature adults" about everything.

Not to mention, how come Patch is the one saving the conversation? Were this any other couple, I doubt it'd bother me. Given how useless Nora's been though, all it does is jump out to me that she can't even change the suject without Patch holding her hand

I hopped down off the counter. “Nope. I’m delivering water to Scott, and mouthwash if I can find it, then I’m out of here.”

He caught my elbow. “You’d shoot me, but you’re on your way to nurse Scott’s hangover?”

ZeldaQueen: Oh lord. Here we go. *rolls eyes* Raise your hands if you saw Patch being a jealous douchenozzle, on top of everything else. We're getting treated to that now. Joy!

“Scott didn’t break my heart.”

ZeldaQueen: Again, have you forgotten which breakup you were on? Given that you were snogging him just a few chapters ago, I was under the impression that you were over both of the "YOU'RE DATING MARRRRRCIE! D:" breakups. If you're referring to the reason you walked off after Marcie's party, how is that Patch's doing? As irresponsible an ass as he is, it's not his fault that you can't grasp the fact that your boyfriend needs to do his job!

A couple of beats of silence fell between us, then Patch said in a low voice, “Let’s go.”

ZeldaQueen: *sings* I like the night life, baby!

The way he looked at me told me exactly what he meant.

ZeldaQueen: Oh, goody. That means Fitzpatrick can just tell us what he means, instead of describing anything!

He wanted me to run away with him. To defy the archangels. To ignore that they’d eventually find Patch.

ZeldaQueen: Also to ignore that she'd be abandoning her home and family and school and chance for a good job and a higher education. But hey, it's not like those things are important! Patch's worthless ass is all that matters!

I couldn’t think about what they’d do to him without feeling trapped in ice, cold with fear, and frozen by the sheer horror of it.

ZeldaQueen: Elsa is not impressed by your bullhonkey

Patch had never told me what hell would be like. But he knew. And the fact that he wasn’t telling me painted a very vivid, very bleak picture.

ZeldaQueen: More like the Suethor is incredibly unimaginative.

Okay guys, don't get me wrong. I know about the concept of Nothing is Scarier. I've seen very effective cases where a badass character flat-out is too terrified to talk about something, which gives an indication of how scary it is. A good example would be in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, where we see Hagrid becoming very afraid when he's told he's to be kept in Azkaban. At this point, we don't know anything about Azkaban besides that it's some sort of prison. However we have seen the things Hagrid's capable of. By that point, we've seen that he keeps a massive three-headed dog as a pet and considers it adorable. We've seen him treat flesh-eating slugs like a minor garden pest. We've seen him go into the forest to find something hunting unicorns and not show the least bit of fear. So it's been well-established, by that point, that Hagrid is a guy who can deal with pretty nasty stuff. Hearing him be so afraid of Azkaban is chilling.

What has Patch done so far? He enslaved a Nephil who was completely ignorant as to what either of them were and thus helpless against his powers. He stalked and mind raped Nora, again someone who had no idea what he was for most of the story and never had any way of fighting back against him. He ripped the wings off of Dabria, and according to him they were almost entirely gone anyway. He punched Jules several times.

Patch was meant to be written as a cool, unflappable badass, and yes, he has been like that (well, smugly arrogant, but you know). The trouble is, most of the people he goes up against thus far have essentially been powerless against him. This is no different than Edward Cullen puffing up and being the Big Man around Bella's human admirers, but hiding and running when supernatural beings who could challenge him show up. If we'd seen Patch going toe-to-toe with some truly terrifying monsters? I could buy him being quiet about Hell being significant. But thus far? No sell.

I kept my eyes nailed to the living room. “I promised Scott a glass of water.”

“You’re spending a lot of time with a guy I’d call dark, and given my standard, that’s a hard-won title.”

ZeldaQueen: Oh Christ, here we go. *rubs temples*

You guys have probably heard me note that this series rips off Twilight more than a little. That trend continued through Not!New Moon here, with the Breakup of Doom. And we all pegged Scott as the Jacob expy. Now, I'm sure you guys also remember that the end of New Moon and much of Eclipse was made up of a pissing contest between Jacob and Edward.

Guess what has started here, dear Viewers?

Yeah, most of Patch's talking about Scott comprises of trying to convince Nora that (A) Scott is incredibly Dark and Evil and (B) that Scott is inhuman and not worth paying attention to.

Needless to say, Scott is neither of those things. In fact, he's arguably the nicest person in the entire cast. That doesn't mean he isn't horrible to Nora at times, of course. I think everyone is, at some point or another. But he's written, as we'll see, with genuinely sympathetic motives for what he does and he really comes across as a decent guy who is scared and stressed by things he can't control or understand.

And we're supposed to take this advice from Patch. Patch, who stalked Nora and cornered her in dark, isolated places. Patch, who decided he just couldn't go through with pushing his beloved off of a rollar coaster...so he just made her hallucinate that she fell. Patch, who acted exactly like every serial killer in every slasher movie ever, complete with luring his victim to a motel room, making sure the phones didn't work, and faking his car breaking down.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm having trouble thus far buying that Scott has done anything worse than Patch.

Also, if Scott has allegedly done so many dark and horrible things, why doesn't Patch tell what a few of them are? Giving a few examples might actually help him convince Nora, if that's what he really intends to do.

“Takes a dark prince to know one?”

ZeldaQueen: Patch is not a dark prince. Dark? Yes. He's freaking evil. But thus far, he's been written as a James Dean knock-off. There's nothing "princely" about him!

“Glad you’ve hung on to your sense of humor, but I’m serious. Be careful.”

ZeldaQueen: Yeah, he might lure Nora into a motel room under the pretense of his truck breaking down as he was driving her home, then attack her when - oh, WAIT.

I nodded. “I appreciate your concern, but I know what I’m doing.” I sidestepped Patch and edged through the gyrating bodies in the living room.

ZeldaQueen: Considering that to "gyrate" is to move in a circular or spiral-like motion, I'm not entirely sure that's the right verb to use. Unless there's some creepy Uzumaki think going on, or something, I guess.

I had to get away. It was too much standing close to him, feeling that wall of ice so thick and impenetrable.

ZeldaQueen: Elsa's still not impressed, you know.

Knowing we both wanted something we couldn’t have, even though what we wanted stood an arm’s reach away.

ZeldaQueen: *scratches out a tune on the World's Tiniest Violin*

And now, back to the sporking.

-------------

ZeldaQueen: Nora wanders out onto the living room floor, only to find someone grab her by her top. She thinks it's Patch but, surprise, it's Scott! Who, you know, miraculously became un-drunk enough to get out of bed and find her in the middle of a crowded, dark room full of noise and people jumping around!

Scott leans in and plants one on her. We get some pointlessness about how he tastes like mouthwash and “freshly scrubbed teeth”, which I suspect is just there so that the fantasy of kissing this guy isn't interrupted by annoyances like bad oral hygiene. And again, if Scott was so drunk that he needed to send Nora out to get him his water, how was he able to find his way to the bathroom, gargle, brush his teeth, and find his way to the center of the dance floor, all in the time it took Nora to get water and have a brief conversation with Patch?

Well, never mind that! It's time for Nora's favorite past time of this book – making Patch jealous!

I started to draw back, then realized, what did I care if Patch saw? I wasn’t doing anything he hadn’t already. I had just as much right to move on as he did. He was using Marcie to fill the void in his heart, and now it was my turn, with Scott.”

ZeldaQueen: Hoo boy.

Nora, do you ever do anything just because you want to? For all you bluster that Patch doesn't control you, all of your actions have simply been motivated by him. Go out and kiss a guy because you actually like him and not just to spite your ex, and then get back to me about how independent you are.

I feel very sorry for Scott here. He clearly likes Nora (God alone knows why), and she just sees him as a disposable fling to make Patch jealous. Right up there, she just basically said “He's to me what Marcie is to Patch”. And considering how it was earlier speculated that Patch was using Marcie as a bedwarmer? That doesn't speak too highly of how you're treating Scott, Nora. Especially since, when the two of you were alone, you turned him down and said that there was no relationship. Suddenly, when Patch is there to get jealous, you're happy to make out with Scott. You just said, right there, that you were going to push him away until you thought about Patch being with Marcie. This does not make you look like an upstanding person, you know.

Someone needs to tell Nora that dating a person just to make their ex jealous is not a good way to “fill the void in their heart”. Taking up a new hobby is. Throwing oneself into a new class or job is. Writing a story or starting a blog are. The key to filling a void is to want to fill it. You clearly have no desire to actually move past Patch. You made that quite obvious when you came to this party just to stalk him, and basically said that you'd continue to do so even if it meant him being sent to Hell. Stop pretending that what you and your despicable boyfriend are doing is healthy or helpful. It's not.

Finally, Nora and Patch have broken up. Yes, we know they're going to hook back up by the book's end, but right now they're both single. And yet Nora is about to push Scott away when he kisses her in front of Patch, like something like that is out of line. I know that people can find it awkward being with new partners while their ex is around, and were this a different book, I don't think it would jump out at me. But we've been seeing Marcie being treated as a man-stealer for dating Patch, even though he's supposed to be single, so this just strikes me as more unfortunate implications.

So yeah, Scott (poor bastard) is totally oblivious to all of this and starts holding Nora tighter and kissing her more. Honestly, it sounds far more loving and emotional than anything Patch has ever done. Nora begins mentally comparing Scott's kissing to Patch's, thinking “So this was what it felt like to kiss someone else”. Because, of course, we must be reminded that Our Heroine is an unsullied virgin who has been with no man but her One True Love. Not to mention, uh, Nora? Different people kiss in different ways. What, in your mind, is there some dichotomy of Patch's Kissing/Not-Patch's Kissing?

Anywho, Scott whispers for them to go back to his room. Nora follows and, I shit you not, deliberately locks eyes with Patch before doing so.

ZeldaQueen: Jesus Christ, what did I say about doing stuff because you wanted to?!? No, Fitzpatrick, this is not a way to make Nora seem Spunky and Independent! She is running off to have sex with a guy who is so drunk that she's sure he won't remember the events of the morning. Do you have any idea how skeevy that would be if the genders were flipped, and a man slept with a severely intoxicated woman, just to spite his ex? And all Nora concerns herself with is making sure that Patch knows about it, because she wants to teach him a lesson, dammit! She's all but sticking her tongue out at him! She has just turned into the perfect image of the catty, jealous ex who screws someone just to spite their former boyfriend.

Nora then proceeds to sin her ass of.

“Only, I didn’t feel any better after thinking it. I felt sad and low and dissatisfied. I wasn’t the kind of person who played games or relied on dirty tricks to console myself or boost my selfesteem. But there was still a certain raw pain burning inside me, and because of it, I let Scott guide me down the hall.

Using his foot, Scott nudged open the bedroom door. He killed the lights, and soft shadows settled around us. I glanced at the small twin mattress on the bottom bunk, then at the window. The window was cracked. In a panic-induced moment, I actually imagined myself slipping through the crack and

disappearing into the night. Probably a sign that what I was about to do was a huge mistake. Was I really going through with this just to make a point? Was this how I wanted to show Patch the magnitude of my anger and hurt? What did it say about me?”

ZeldaQueen: So, okay. You could argue that this is just Nora screwing up and learning from it. I don't, because this whole thing is promptly forgotten about, and just serves as a stupid lead-in to Exposition Station, but I see that's what Fitzpatrick meant it to be. Okay, fine.

Hey guys, do you remember Chapter 9, when we heard how Nora did petty things to Marcie and apparently never got in trouble for them? Do you remember Chapter 12, when Nora broke into Marcie's bedroom to read her diary just to make breaking up with Patch easier?

Yeah, Nora didn't exactly have the same moral hang-ups then, did she?I could buy the argument that playing the occasional petty prank on a rival is less serious than having sex with someone just to spite an ex, except that this fight against Marcie's supposed to have been going on for ages, and is, in fact, proof that Nora's willing to use dirty tactics to boost her self esteem. So her having such a crisis about this just makes me think it's one of two things.

The first – it's perfectly fine to be petty and horrible to Marcie because she's catty to Nora, but being petty towards Patch (who stalked Nora and tried to murder her) is just crossing the line.

The second – that having sex with someone who isn't your One True Love is crossing the line,e because it's sex and that's Serious Business. Anything else is fine.

Again, were it not for the behavior of the characters and the ongoing YOU FUCKING WHORE count, those unfortunate implications likely wouldn't have jumped out at me. But there are, and they do.

Right. The sporking.

Scott starts kissing Nora some more, taking off his shirt, and she starts thinking of excuses to back out. Very disturbingly and tellingly, just saying “No” is the last option she comes up with, instead of the default. Erm, yeah.

And, just as things start to take a turn for the squicky, everything becomes far to rage-inducing to matter. Because Patch comes strolling into the bedroom, throws Scott's shirt at him and basically tells him to get dressed again.

ZeldaQueen: I'm saving it, don't worry.

Scott is understandably angry at this, because remember, the poor guy has no clue what pissing grounds he's stumbled onto. As far as he knows, he just brought a consenting girl into his room, only to have a random asshole run in and act like he owns the place.

Everyone naturally ignores Scott, and instead Nora asks Patch if he's insane. Nora. Honey. This is the guy who mind raped you into losing track of Vee and then stealing your house keys, just so he could give you a motorcycle lift home and have an excuse to make you dinner. Does it seriously surprise you that he's doing this?

Patch, for his part, manages to be even more of a douchenozzle than normal, telling Nora, “You don't want to be here. Not with him”. (Still saving it). Nora tells him to butt out and not make that call.

Scott, still only aware that there's a jerkass in his bedroom causing trouble, tries to make Patch leave. Patch responds by punching him in the jaw, almost breaking it. While Scott stumbles around in agony, Patch says that if he (Scott) touches Nora, “it will be the first of many things to break”.

Nora orders Patch to leave and Scott, still in horrible pain, mind you, growls out that he'll kill Patch. Instead of just leaving, Patch grabs Scott, spins him around, smashes him against the wall, and threatens him should he touch Nora. Finally, he leaves. Oh, but not quietly, though. As he heads out, he tells Nora that, “He's not worth it […] And neither am I”. Nora, of course, is utterly silenced by this, because she was shamefully going to sleep with another man, so there aren't possibly any grounds to protest what Patch just did. None, you hear me?

Oh, no?

Right, my thoughts. First things first, gotta borrow something from Mervin...

ZeldaQueen: WHAT THE EVER-LOVING FUCK WAS THAT???

No, no, rhetorical question. I know exactly what that was. That was one of the most blatant forms of overcompensation I've ever seen! That was such a disgusting display of chest-thumping “I Manly He-Man! Love me!” that I think I almost puked! Just...GAH!

Right. Gonna resort to bullet points, to keep my mind organized.

Let us first look at this from Scott's point of view. Are we supposed to be seeing him as dark or violent because he tells Patch, “I'm going to kill you?” From his perspective, as I pointed out, he drunkenly took a nice girl to come sleep with him. Said girl had, thus far, given every indication that she was fine with this. She kissed him back, she followed him, and, while we know that Nora was having second thoughts, she had yet to actually voice them to Scott. And then, out of the blue, this guy Scott never before met comes storming in, threatening him for so much as touching Nora, and punching Scott in the face. All this while Scott is so sloshed, he has no clue what's going on. Like I said, I feel incredibly sorry for the poor bastard! All we've seen (and pretty much all we'll ever see) is him being manipulated by people and things he doesn't understand. And we're supposed to see him as darker than Patch?

Speaking of, let's have a look at how Patch comes across here. Like I said, yes, the readers know that Nora was having second thoughts. But let's take a look at as much as Patch ought to know. From all he's seen, Nora kissed a guy at a party and went off with him. He should have no clue whether or not she's having second thoughts. Scott wasn't doing anything untoward with her. He had no reason to do what he did besides plain jealousy. That, and of course his determination that no one steal His Property. If Nora is the perfect image of the catty, spiteful girl who finds the hottest guy in the room just to piss off her ex, Patch is every asshole ex who storms in on his former girlfriend while she's with another guy. He's the guy who's butting in, all puffed up, because how dare someone think his ex-girlfriend is available to anyone but him? Look at how he's talking, after all. He doesn't give a shit that Nora's telling him to leave. He beats up Scott, regardless. He doesn't even leave Scott with a warning of “Don't hurt her” or “Don't do anything she doesn't want you to”. He tells Scott, “If you touch My Woman again, I'll bust you up.” And we're supposed to buy that he wants Nora to have a happy, safe life while he's not around. Yeah, clearly he means happy and safe as long as it doesn't involve any other men.

But oh, I'm sure the fans would say, Patch knows why Nora's doing what she's doing, right? And what's wrong with him stepping in and giving her a warning, before she does something he thinks she'll regret? Well, okay, fine. Except that's not what Patch is doing. Oh, he's saying that's what he's there for. But look at his actions. He punches and assaults Scott for daring to touch His Woman. He doesn't address Nora until she's screaming at him to leave. His entrance into the room was him flat-out ordering Scott to get dressed again. Look at what he doesn't do – he doesn't directly appeal to Nora. He doesn't tell her, “This is up to you, just think it over”. No, he starts ordering Scott away before he even speaks to her. Her wishes don't matter. He thinks what she's doing is Bad and Wrong, and thus is putting a stop to it.

On that note, Patch just violently assaulted a drunk guy in his own home. A drunk guy who wasn't acting aggressively himself, so there isn't even the justification of self-defense. A drunk guy who's so inebriated, he doesn't even seem fully aware of what's going on. And we're supposed to see this as a scene to swoon over, with Patch the Living Fanservice protecting Nora's honor. This just proves my abovementioned point about how Patch only ever shows off his badassery by fighting people weaker than he is. Also, if there was any justice, he'd be arrested for unprovoked assault.

And of course, we're supposed to see this as all justified. Nora is so ashamed of herself for even thinking of having sex with Scott that she can't even come up with a rebuttal. Patch always knows best, after all!

Christ.

So, moving onward! Scott pulls himself together and is understandably confused and angry about the crazy guy who just beat him up for no reason. In response to Scott asking who the fuck that was, we're told that he “obviously” didn't recognize Patch from the pool hall. Um, yeah. Dur. Not only was it crowded there (which Nora uses as rationalization), it's dark in the bedroom and Scott's incredibly drunk. If he did remember Patch for that one time, I'd have called shenanigans. Also, I genuinely forgot about the pool hall until that moment, and had to flip back to remember what Nora meant by “the Z”.

Nurse Nora notices how his jaw is already bruising and apologizes for what happened, but doesn't think to do something useful like get him some ice. Actually, given that we're told that there's a “ribbon of blood” dribbling from the corner of his mouth, she really ought to call a hospital. For all she knows, Patch broke a tooth or caused some serious damage, and Scott just is too drunk to fully notice.

But no, Nora ignores all this in favor of mentally wangsting over how there's simply no way she can leave the party and walk past Patch with any amount of self-dignity. Because obviously Patch did absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about! He just handled that whole situation with perfect dignity! Not to mention, Nora? Hon? Here's how you manage.

YOU REMEMBER THAT NONE OF THAT WAS HIS FUCKING BUSINESS, AND YOU GO ABOUT YOUR LIFE. WHY CAN YOU NOT GRASP THAT?

Scott begs Nora to stick around. She's clearly hesitant, but he just says to “tell [him] if [he's] going too far”. He pulls his shirt off again, and I have to ask, would many guys be up for this sort of thing after taking injuries like he did? If it were me, I think I'd just want to crawl into bed for a week or two. In any case, Nora tells him that he's going to far. Apparently Fitzpatrick decided that Scott was acting too consensual up until now, because he responds to that with “That didn't sound convincing”.

ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick? Don't ever, ever include those sorts of lines in your novel. Not after the stuff you had Patch do. And if this is meant to show how Patch is a better boyfriend than Scott, really do not go there. Scott gave that line and just gently nuzzled up against Nora's neck. Patch gave lines like that and held her down on the bed while she screamed. Until he surpasses that, you are not making Scott look worse than Patch.

Nora once again tells Scott that she doesn't think of him like that, she feels tired, and she's still all ashamed because she almost slept with Scott. Seriously. I'm not giving this any YOU FUCKING WHORE points because the point is that she's ashamed she tried to sleep with a guy just to get revenge, but considering how underwhelming the whole thing is and considering how female sexuality has been treated, it all is really riddled with unfortunate implications.

Scott persists in trying to get Nora to sleep with him, so she turns on the light. Naturally, Scott is so drunk that this blinds him and makes him fall backwards. Nora is just about to finally leave and end this God-forsaken chapter when she notices a “warped and shiny” patch of skin. This, of course, is his brand, which Nora amazingly remembers. She also notices that it's in the shape of a clenched fist, and looks exactly the same shape and size as the emblem on the ring she was sent.

And because the last part of this chapter will involve a whole lotta ranting, we're going to take a break here. See you in the next part, folks!