Marked: Chapter 1

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: Alright! Let's get started on this thing! *cracks knuckles*

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter One

ZeldaQueen: We start off this book with - what else - two teenage girls at a locker in their high school, both of whom are bitching about things. The one girl is our protagonist and resident Mary Sue, Zoey Redbird. Really? Redbird? Anyway, the other girl is her friend Kayla, who is a total airhead. I don't know why that's at all surprising. It seems like in books like these, friends only exist to push the Mary Sue with the Hot Male Love Interest, be totally shallow to make the Mary Sue look better, be pettily jealous of the Mary Sue, or actually lust after the Mary Sue themselves. We quickly find out why these girls are bitching. It seems that Zoey was kinda-sorta dating this football player named Heath and he got really drunk after a game and Zoey dumped him, and now Kayla is going on about how it's soooo unfair to dump a guy who had "four—I dunno—maybe six beers, and maybe like three shots" and how it's probably Zoey's fault he got drunk anyway, because her parents made her go home right after the game. By this point, we're not even five paragraphs in and I'm really not liking Kayla. I'm kinda hoping that she's one of the Boring People who gets forgotten by Zoey after Zoey inevitably goes off to frolic with the vampires (yes, that's already what I'm guessing this series is about).

Zoey is also pissed about having to go home right after the game, and apparently her mother has remarried and there is no love lost between Zoey and her stepfather (or "step-loser" as she calls him). Zoey also points out that Heath was trashed about five other times in that week alone. Now at this point, I'd understand if she dumped him because she figured dating a guy who got so hammered so often was Bad News, or even if she just got tired of him constantly getting hungover and vomiting in the gutter. No, the real reason his drinking bothered her? Heath would get fat from the beer. Really. And Kayla starts going on about this as well, about how gross a fat guy who drinks too much beer is, not to mention that kissing him tastes like alcohol-soaked feet. These girls really need to get their priorities in order. Also, and I mention this strictly so we can inevitably laugh at the irony later, Kayla keeps going on about how Heath being hot clearly makes up for his alcoholism and Zoey rolls her eyes at this. Ten bucks says that she goes on about how hot the guy she winds up with is.

Throughout this conversation Zoey keeps coughing and getting dizzy, and then she sees dead people. No, really

"Then I saw him. The dead guy. Okay, I realized pretty quick that he wasn't technically "dead.” He was undead. Or un-human. Whatever. Scientists said one thing, people said another, but the end result was the same. There was no mistaking what he was and even if I hadn't felt the power and darkness that radiated from him, there was no frickin' way I could miss his Mark, the sapphire- blue crescent moon on his forehead and the additional tattooing of entwining knot work that framed his equally blue eyes. He was a vampyre, and worse. He was a Tracker.

Well, crap! He was standing by my locker"

ZeldaQueen: For whatever reason, Kayla sees none of this and Zoey attributes it to "tragically, more evidence of my freakish inability to fit in". Keep this in mind for a second.

Also, is a "vampyre" different than a "vampire"? (Yes, I know, I'm just being a smartass)

Also-also, a teenage female protagonist has a subtle power of some sort which is actually pretty beneficial and she goes on about how all it does is make her a freak who can't fit in anywhere. Hello thar, Bella Swan! I'll also give a wave to Ever, while I'm at it.

Anyway, the Tracker-thing points at Zoey and does some bizarre ritual thing and Marks her. Basically she has a huge headache and passes out and wakes up to find that she has the aforementioned crescent moon mark on her forehead. Kayla starts crying and jabbering on about how she's been Marked - oh lookey there, a title drop - and how Zoey will have to go to an unnamed location and be "one of those things" and "Who am I supposed to go to all of our football games with?" I...I don't even. I really hope Kayla leaves the story soon.

Zoey notes that Kayla is frightened of her and won't come near her, and is upset by this. This is almost good at getting some sympathy for Zoey, except for two things. The first is that we literally just met her and Kayla and thus have no idea of how good friends they are, how long they've been friends, and so on, so Kayla refusing to go near Zoey means nothing. Given how shallow Kayla's been, I don't find it at all surprising. The other thing is that it's immediately followed by wangst about how Zoey has spent three years getting good at blinking back tears. Boo-fucking-hoo.

Anyway, Zoey stands up and notes that it's a good thing that it's after school and no one is around, and how if she hadn't gone back for her textbook, she would have been publicly Marked in front of most of the student body as they left for home. I guess the entire school, staff and janitors included, were evacuated or something, because both Zoey and Kayla were screaming their heads off in a building which was probably pretty quiet and we only hear about one person being there, "a tall thin dork with messed-up teeth, which I could, unfortunately, see too much of because he was standing there with his mouth flapping open staring at me like I'd just given birth to a litter of flying pigs". I really have to ask, why are all of these Mary Sue protagonists such judgmental bitches? I'm just asking.

Anyway, now's about as big a time to point out some major fridge logic I'm getting. So from what I've gathered, vampires in this universe just show up, pick a victim, put a tattoo on their heads, and whisk the off to Hogwarts for the Horror Genre. Given Kayla's reaction, the fact that scientists have spoken on this, and Zoey's fear of people watching her be Marked, it seems pretty clear that the presence of these vampires is publicly known. So...why is it business as usual? You'd think that with monsters wandering around, there would be paranoia running rampant. Why wouldn't there be security guards around or something? Even if they weren't able to help, I'd imagine parents demanding some sort of protection for their kids. Or heck, I could even see some mention that parents were pulling their kids from school, determined to keep them in sight and safe. So...vampires are publicly known and no one thinks twice about them? Huh?

I'm also hoping that it turns out that Trackers can somehow turn invisible while tracking prey, because it's either that or Kayla is the most vacant airhead to grace literature, not noticing a menacing person threatening her friend. Either that, or there's yet another huge plothole, since anything else would imply that most of the populace can't see vampires, but somehow still knows about their existence.

Zoey starts angsting, and apparently her turning into a vampire was the better outcome, since it's entirely possible she would have died when she was Marked. Her being Marked apparently means that she now must attend a vampire high school (seriously, vampires are considered extremely dangerous, but have their own public high school? Is this supposed to be like True Blood, where vampires are the new minority or something?) and starts getting upset over how she's got spending "the next four years going through bizarre and unnameable physical changes, as well as a total and permanent life shake-up" to look forward to. Now, to be very fair, I can give her a pass angsting over this. She was just forced into a new life and unlike Bella or Bree Tanner, she's not going "Oh great, now I'm a god and can kill whoever I want! Yippee!" Any fairness I have is quickly spent though, because the book quickly employs perhaps the two biggest Mary Sue cliches ever.

The first is her wangsting about how she just wants to be normal, dammit, and pass geometry and get into vet school. Well, at least we get some sort of career goal in mind. Ten more bucks says that it's almost completely forgotten soon.

The second thing, and by far the worst, is her family - specifically the fact that her family is apparently the most snot-faced, superficial, shallow, annoying, neglectful bunch of assholes to grace the world. Here is, I swear, how she describes them

"I just wanted to attempt to be normal, despite the burden of my mega-conservative parents, my troll-like younger brother, and my oh-so-perfect older sister"

"waiting for what my stupid Barbie-clone sister liked to smugly call 'the big yellow limos'"

ZeldaQueen: You know, making a protagonist's family so horrible that they're not missed at all as an excuse to not introduce them is just sloppy, guys. I mean, Rowling killed off Harry's parents before the series began, but it was still pretty pivotal to the plot. This just smacks of a reason for Zoey to be happy she's never seeing her family again.

Anyway, by this point Kayla has run off to ride home with her boyfriend (her cell phone ringtone is "Material Girl", if it's not obvious enough that she's shallow) and Zoey quickly starts messing up her bangs to cover the Mark on her forehead. She then sneaks outside while pretending to be poking around in her purse. As soon as she exits the school though, she notices Heath. He's standing around being hot, while "[g]irls flocked around him, posing and flipping their hair, while guys revved ridiculously big pickup trucks and tried (but mostly failed) to look cool". Oh Jesus Christ, just for once could the boyfriend or ex of the protagonist not be the one guy that every girl wants to bang and every guy gets jealous or gay for? Please? Zoey seems quite disgusted that she got involved with a guy who invokes such displays, but adds "No, to be fair to myself I should remember that Heath used to be incredibly sweet, and even now he had his moments. Mostly when he bothered to be sober". Uh huh.

Unfortunately, Heath and the many girls idiotically flirting with him are standing right next to Zoey's car, and she can't stand for them to see that she's Marked. She remembers the last time a kid was Marked at their school, and how everyone avoided him like the plague. Soooo these Trackers sneaking in and Marking kids is a common occurrence? Again, why are there no efforts to prevent this? Even if they are unable to do anything, they ought to try something!

And then, we get this. And I know it's a bit long, but you all need to see it

"She had my eyes. They were the same hazel color that could never decide whether it wanted to be green or brown, but my eyes had never been that big and round. Or had they? She had my hair—long and straight and almost as dark as my grandma's had been before hers had begun to turn silver. The stranger had my high cheekbones, long, strong nose, and wide mouth—more features from my grandma and her Cherokee ancestors. But my face had never been that pale. I'd always been olive-ish, much darker skinned than anyone else in my family. But maybe it wasn't that my skin was suddenly so white…maybe it just looked pale in comparison to the dark blue outline of the crescent moon that was perfectly positioned in the middle of my forehead. Or maybe it was the horrid fluorescent lighting. I hoped it was the lighting.

I stared at the exotic-looking tattoo. Mixed with my strong Cherokee features it seemed to brand me with a mark of wildness…as if I belonged to ancient times when the world was bigger…more barbaric.

From this day on my life would never be the same. And for a moment—just an instant—I forgot about the horror of not belonging and felt a shocking burst of pleasure, while deep inside of me the blood of my grandmother's people rejoiced"

ZeldaQueen: A few things.

First of all, there we have it. There's our infodump on what our protagonist looks like. No mention of translucent skin at least, thank God.

Second, I hope it's the florescent lighting too. Because if we get another "vampire turns native person white" thing, I might lose it.

Third of all, you want to blow the "SHE'S CHEROKEE" horn any louder there, guys? Okay, she's Native American. That's cool, it honestly is. And it's cool that she knows about her heritage. Would you mind employing a little subtly here, instead of bringing it all up out of nowhere and smacking us upside the head with it?

Fourth of all, am I the only one who sees a few unfortunate implications with her getting an "exotic tattoo" and starts feeling and acting like a stereotypical Native American, dancing around a fire in war paint? On the other hand, New Moon just might be making me overly sensitive to stuff like that.

And on that note, we end our first chapter
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Onward to: Chapter 2

Back to: Acknowledgments

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[witty-screename.livejournal.com]

the real reason his drinking bothered her? Heath would get fat from the beer.

I remember the authors thanking someone in the acknowledgments for helping them sound like teenagers; Apparently, they think all teen girls think this way, which is like Meyer thinking Bella represents the "everygirl." No. Just because you think teen girls really are all judgmental airheads (or you were yourself at that age), does not mean we all are/were.

Speaking of Bella, this Zoey girl reminded me of her instantly, what with the constant bitching about everyone around her. Hey, I didn't like some of the people I went to high school with either, but there were still people/other things I found to not bitch about. Optimism--you and Zoey should try it.

And man, what is it with suethors and telling us every last detail about their SI's looks? I like to be told only the most noticeable things, like how Rowling mentions Snape's "hook nose" or Harry's messy hair--you know, things that can help me picture them better. She still leaves quite a bit to the imagination. Telling me everything about every feature on someone's face doesn't help me picture them any better. Is it just me?

Anyway, great job on the first chapter and I can't wait for the others! :D Your ability to read through this prose amazes me--seriously. I think I made it about halfway before giving up. While Meyer's prose makes me laugh ('cause she's being 100% serious when she writes it) or just slightly pisses me off, the way Zoey talks just pains me. Her vapid commentary and bitching puts even Bella's to shame.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, no. I can say for certain that there's just as many, if not more teen girls who would dump a guy for being a drunken dick before worrying about him getting fat.

Zoey actually reminds me more of Ever from Evermore. She's not QUITE as sociopathic as Bella (not yet) and seems surrounded by horrible people, but she's so wangsty and cliched that it's hard to like her very much. Of course, this is just the first chapter I have a terrible feeling that things are going to go even farther downhill though.

I liked how Rowling described her characters, if only because she didn't solely rely on infodumps. For example, Ron described Harry as "a midget in glasses" and Fred and George said he was a "specky, scrawny git", so we know he's a little guy. Things like that. Not to mention, she kept it simple. Dark hair and green eyes. Bushy brown hair. Red hair and freckles. Simple.

Thanks! I seriously think Child of Grace desensitized me to whiny prose. All I can think is "At least there aren't nine million fragments in a row". And I also can't wait to see how this pans out. It's like watching a train wreck unfold. XD

[yemi-hikari.livejournal.com]

She doesn't actually think like every teenage girl I've spoken to, though mostly I have to go back on is my own high school days. But the thing is, either you are into drinking, or you are not. If you are into drinking, you don't really pay attention to the consequences of a beer belly, if you aren't you're more concerned with the here and the now.

[das-mervin.livejournal.com]

Oh, you just had to go and make her CHEROKEE, didn't you? You know, that whole WILD WARRIOR WAY does not fit in well with CHEROKEE. The reason the White Man deemed Cherokee "civilized" is because the didn't do shit like that. We weren't roaming the plains hunting buffalo being "savages".

Jesus. And by the way, darlin', you keep going on about how you've got distinct Cherokee features. Well, my great uncle was on the Cherokee tribal council. My grandmother speaks the language and lived up with where the Cherokee got relocated in Oklahoma. We're pretty sure I've got a serious dose of Cherokee blood in me, and so does my sister.

You can't tell we're Cherokee. Cherokee features aren't all that dominant when it comes to mingling with the white genes.

*bitchslaps*

Sorry. You saw me go on Catholic Rage, now I had to go on Wagon-Burning-Gut-Eater Rage.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

That's cool. Rage away. It's only going to get dumber.

[yemi-hikari.livejournal.com]

My gosh! I have forgotten about that. Looking at her daughter, I figured that was why she picked her character to be Cherokee, but I might be wrong.

[shiki456.livejournal.com]

I agree with you. Native-american features can't be seen that much with white genes but I believe that its an insult to those of native-American heritage whether half or whole to say that we all just roam around the plains and the WHITE MAN has made us civilized. That is a load of BS and I hate it. Preach on! And yes I am half Native-American but I'm also black too. DON'T BELIEVE THE STEREOTYPES! THEIR LYING!

[mogseltof.livejournal.com]

*pulls copy of Marked off shelf*

OK, now I have it out, I'm too lazy to flip through and find what I'm looking for, but the deal with these vampires (or vampyres *sniggers*) is a similar deal to True Blood where everyone knows they exist but no one really likes them, which doesn't make a lot of sense later on.

I don't understand how the Trackers work. I've tried, but everywhere my thoughts lead turn into dead ends.

Amazingly enough you actually get to see her family again at the start of the second book, but I haven't read very much so I'm not sure if it turns into an actual subplot. I do despise the way she describes her siblings. Sure, sometimes I would freaking love to kill my younger brothers, but her attitude grates on my nerves.

And everytime I see "vampyre" I giggle and look around for Annagramma and Mrs Earwig or the De Magpyr family.

[watson8888.livejournal.com]

I believe it's pronounced "Ah-wij."

[carmyn]

*headdesk**headdesk**headdesk*

That has got to be the quickest inciting incident EVER. Why couldn't the authors drag out the being Marked thing? This would be a perfect time to actually ADD stalking. It would have added some tension, and get the character to either A) talk about the vampires Marking people and what the humans are doing about it, if it's known or B) have the character muse that this guy is behind a string of disappearances and 'mysterious deaths' only to find out it's this secret group of vampires (wait sorry, vampyres). Both those ideas took me five minutes to figure out and even I could drag those out for at least two or three chapters. It would added some much needed tension and not make the reader go 'So... she's Marked ... uh... so?'. I don't particuarly care that she's Marked because I cannot grasp the significance of being Marked.

Oh and Vampyre is a legit spelling. I've seen it in folklore during my research for mythical monsters.


I need to hurry up and finish It, reading such an awesome (yet fucking creepy) book while reading these sporkings makes me cry.

[(Anonymous)]

What's your awesome yet fucking creepy book?

-Talia

[watson8888.livejournal.com]

I know that in first person it's really hard to fit a description of your character in naturally, but I'm getting really tired of this whole 'looking in the mirror to describe myself' thing. I guess it makes sense that Zoey'd want to go check out the Mark, but still that reads less as 'AH I HAVE A HUGE VAMPYRE TATTOO ON MY FOREHEAD' and more like the author wanting to drop a physical description.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

To be fair, it was a better description drop than Bella's "I ought to look this way, now let me tell you how I DO look, and in the most flattering adjectives possible". If she had limited it to stuff like "I've normally got a dark complexion, am I turning paler?", meh, but then it went off on the "OH LOOK, I'M CHEROKEE!" rant.

[anakinnotvader.livejournal.com]

Zoey's school must have really bad security, if a vampire (sorry, vampyre) can just walk in and Mark some random student. I mean, it's not like they're that hard to identify, with their big forehead tattoos.
I'm not even going to respond to the "beer makes you fat" thing. I can't think of a comment to do the utter stupidity justice.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

That's what I don't get. I mean, I can totally get that vampires are around and attack people. Fine. I can sort of buy that they apparently have a public school that everyone knows about, and for whatever reason no one thinks to try to infiltrate or attack it if the vampires are so dangerous. But if everyone's terrified of vampires, why are they just letting the students wander around alone, like there's nothing happening? What is this, Sunnydale? Why not, at least, get a few extra security guards?

[(Anonymous)]

The Cherokee part is sort of importent to the plot - I say sort of because you'll have to wait more than one book to get an explanation. The only thing I liked about this book was the vampyre (Why the y?) history the authors made up but it does have holes. Filled with bullshit. If you want me to tell you why her being Cherokee matters then just comment back and I will.

Nice spork for the first chapter. :)

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh, it is?

Don't spoil it (I do want to find out on my own ^^; ) but, do you know which book gives the explanation?

Thanks! :)

[redrose6540.livejournal.com]

Maybe I should get a copy of this and do a read along. How many books are there in this series?

I read the first chapter on the official site and thought it was kinda rushed. Like others pointed out, maybe it should have been dragged out a little to at least point out why a Tracker is something to fear. One second she is in conversation and then the next she is marked.

Did I miss something?

And you are right, if these vampyres are known in society then why aren't there any extra officers or teachers around patrolling? When I was in school we always had at least one cop at the school and teachers would patrol the halls after school, and I didn't have to worry about vampyres attacking. If I was a parent in this world I would demand that there would be measures taken.

Oh wait, her family is a burden to her and they wouldn't care would they. *shakes head*

Only one chapter in and I already don't like Zoey. She gets annoyed at Kayla's shallowness but ignores her own. Whatever.

Well this promises to be an entertaining sporking. ^_^

[(Anonymous)]

There are eight books out now, butthere are going to be 12. So far as I know. Marked, Betrayed, Chosen, Untamed, Hunted, Tempted, Burned, Awakened. The ninth is gonna be named Stolen.

I know! How can a editor ignore that? She rolls her eyes at someone elses shallowness, but a few paragraphs later BAM! Hypocrisy, right on the spot.

[(Anonymous)]

This just smacks of a reason for Zoey to be happy she's never seeing her family again.

Everything else is pretty well covered, so I figured I'd pluck this to rant about. Never read this book series, but it's a general complaint that I have, and given how it seems to be presented here, seems like a good time to do this.

I know that the point of doing this is to give the characters a convenient excuse for not wanting to see their family -- Harry, for instance, was routinely bullied by the Dursleys and certainly had no desire to see them again -- but why don't people ever want to explore the relationship between the transformee and the family of the victim? This seems like it would be a really good source of characterization and tension, and so often it just gets glossed over in order to get to the 'good stuff'.

Which is a damn shame, because this is what I want to read about. I want to see the vampiric transformation (or whatever) and I want to see how the family reacts and adjusts, if they adjust at all, how they treat their daughter now that she's becoming something 'unnatural' but she's still their daughter, or sister, or whatever. Way the hell more interesting than some tepid teen romance about how hot the undead are and maybe there's some plot somewhere. Maybe.

(To be perfectly honest I would read an entire book just about the interaction between somebody who's being converted into a vampire/has been turned and their family. ...okay maybe a novella but you get the idea)

I have a feeling that this won't be rectified, if her family shows up so rarely as the books go on. Even the Dursleys, who are outright terrible people, got a lot of character development throughout Harry Potter, and Harry was still concerned enough to have them taken to a safe haven by the Order (and he even forms a truce with Dudley!) Somehow, I don't think we'll be seeing Zoey come to appreciate her family and realize how she's been mistreating them and blah. Wasted opportunity.

Although I don't know if the writers have the finesse to pull that off well; I seem to recall another summary of this book saying that the religious 'conflict' between her and her ultra-conservative family is displayed with the subtlety of a sledgehammer attached to a fire axe, so...

[(Anonymous)]

You'll see how the mother and step-father of Zoey reacts to the mark. It ain't pretty.

She just sort of... forgets she even HAS a family. I mean, we nevermeet her sister, her brothers there ONCE in the entire series, in chapter two offirst book no less and her mom and step-dad are hardly ever seen or talked about. She has absolutely no thoughts of her brother or sister afterwards except the line about her being a "stupid Barbie clone...".

[lurkythespork.livejournal.com]

Oh lordy, is this what I think it is? A cross between Harry Potter and Twilight?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Vaguely.

Which would not necessarily be a bad thing, except that we're going to see that the book REALLY swings between being interesting or at least decent and...well really stupid. So it's like switching between Harry Potter and Twilight while walking across the deck of a boat that keeps swaying madly in the water.

[tsukasabuddha.livejournal.com]

Oh god, I am having so many bad Sailor Moon and anime flashbacks with that crescent moon. Sesshomaru would kill this bint and stroll along without another thought.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Sailor Moon herself would be disgusted. And that would be the Sailor Moon of chapter one, not even with the character development.

[winki-pop.livejournal.com]

Well, that was the most rushed first chapter to a story ever. Tension, what's that? How the hell did these two get published?! It's like it was a game of laser tag: one minute Zoey's chatting, next she's zapped with The Mark ™ :P And in true Mary Sue-style, it's like nothing ever happened a minute later yet Zoey shows no real fear over being Marked, it's more like, 'Uh, totes inconvenient!' :P

And the only thing mildly worse than sparkly vamps can only be perky teen girl vamps! Y'know, they act like it's gonna be bad, but revel in it like a total Mary Sue later on: 'Oh, lyk, we ttly drink blood now!' :P because the author/s take out the conflict and make it The Coolest Thing Evers.

Also, the whole acting like typical teen girls thing: why do all teen girls in young adult lit have to be portrayed as bitchy and shallow nowadays? Isn't that more of a stereotype now? I knew girls like that, but not ALL girls were or still are. The girls I met during my lasting teaching prac in the accelerated English class were among some of the most bright and perceptive girls I'd ever met and highly intelligent and not in the least bit superficial. And also hated Twilight as much as I do :P Seriously, writers, can you just write women in fiction that are more realistic and ones we actually like? (By the way, I saw this book in the library and the last school I did teaching prac and already got vibes from it even back then :P) I mean, why do some girls have to strive to be stupid and mediocre because God forbid you should actually be seen to be smart and ambitious? (now I'm thinking of that P!nk song 'Stupid Girls,' pretty fitting :D) Why can't girls have a character in literature to like?

Oh, and 'vampyres'? How 'uber-goffick' :P

And nice little ethnic-drop into the story there, Zoey. 'Oh, I just happen to be Native American, don't you know?' and reminds you ever five minutes. I'm all for diversity in characters and do it often in my own stories, but c'mon!

Anyway, I just got around to reading this spork and am loving it so far, good job! :D

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

It gets even worse because Kayla and Heath do show up again, in a way that's supposed to make the audience believe that Zoey is hurt and upset. But it doesn't work, because the Suethors just zip through it!

"And nice little ethnic-drop into the story there, Zoey. 'Oh, I just happen to be Native American, don't you know?' and reminds you ever five minutes. I'm all for diversity in characters and do it often in my own stories, but c'mon!"

I wouldn't mind it so much if every time it came up, it didn't make her go all CHEROKEE WOMAN PRIESTESS WARRIOR.

"Anyway, I just got around to reading this spork and am loving it so far, good job! :D"

Thanks! ^^ I'm glad you like it. XD

[(Anonymous)]

First, I must commend you for tackling this series. It's bothered me for a long time and I must say you're doing quite a good job with it.

Also: As I was reading "The Mists of Avalon" by Marion Zimmer Bradley, I came across a passage that talked about how priestesses who were chosen by the Goddess had a blue crescent moon tattooed between their brows by Her.

Sound familiar? And here I thought the Mark was a unique, interesting touch to these vampires. For shame, Casts.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! :)

Seriously? I never read The Mists of Avalon, but it sounds like the sort of thing the Cast ladies would look to for inspiration. Jeez...

[propinquus.livejournal.com]

I remember when I first heard of this series during my freshman year. It was like 2008? Anyway, all these girls were gushing about how great it was. I picked it up and started reading it and it was...entertaining, I guess. But nothing spectacular at all. I really hated Zoey from the start. I actually took the Universal Mary Sue Litmus test for her and she scored over one hundred. Anything over fifty should be 'killed dead' according to the test. I really hate this series above all of the series I've ever read. Riddled with cliches, stereotypes, and just flat out stupidity, I cannot believe this has so many positive reviews. I could eat alphabet soup and crap out a better book. But she (to me) is the mother of all Mary Sues. She's all chosen by Nyx, and Nyx's incarnate or whatever, and then the reincarnation of that weird clay doll used to lure the raven dude back down into the earth. I think she's something else, too (I wouldn't be surprised if she was like Jesus' lost sister or something, I wouldn't put it past those idiotic 'authors' to do something like that.) But yeah. Whenever I hear someone say they love this series, I lose mental respect for them.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Ohhh yeah, Zoey is Mary Sue Extraordinaire. And the series might have been good if it were purposefully a parody of those sorts of teen lit cliches, but they aren't. And it's grating as heck.

"I think she's something else, too"

Are you thinking of how she's named the next queen of all the vampires? I nearly tore off my own head when I found that one out. -_-

WAT.

[leaf-drop.livejournal.com]

'Are you thinking of how she's named the next queen of all the vampires? I nearly tore off my own head when I found that one out. -_-'

Are you kidding me?! Zoey can barely handle relationships, let alone lead a race (species?) of people. I hate books nowadays. -^-

Re: WAT.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

No, according to the summary of one of the later books, Zoey is taken to the Isle of Sky (apparently the head of the vampire world or whatever) and the current vampire queen grooms her to take over. All while Zoey is angsting about Heath.

Dear lord, but I wish I made that up.

[bluekevlar16.livejournal.com]

"a tall thin dork with messed-up teeth, which I could, unfortunately, see too much of because he was standing there with his mouth flapping open staring at me like I'd just given birth to a litter of flying pigs".

Is it too early for me based on what you've wrote to start hating Zoey already? :/

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Not at all. Her description of that dude is pretty much how she thinks of most folks she doesn't think are sufficiently pretty or who kiss her ass too little.

Setting

[(Anonymous)]

This is annoying, because I've heard how awful these books are, yet I kind of like the idea of a modern/contemporary world where supernatural/fantastic elements are known to exist and out in the open, just taken as a fact of life by the populace, as opposed to the "masquerade" trope so common in low fantasy settings. But these writers have already botched that in just the first chapter.

[charlie2cute.livejournal.com]

Hi. I know, I am like WAAY late to the party, but here are my 5 cents:

1. The vampires in this universe aren;t dangerous monster-killers, they are perfect, beatiful, in tune with nature and they don't need to kill to feed. But the plot hole about no one watching after these kids, still stands, I hadn't noticed that one before.

2. I wanted someone to do a spork of this, thank you. I actually started doing one for my blog, but no one was reading it and I pretty much gave up after chapter 1, 'cause there's just SO MANY. I do actually like these books though. You know, in the same way, I like the Twilight movies - they are just hilarious though, unintentionally so.

3. Speaking of Ever, you haven't sporked The Immortals have you? I really wanted to do that for das_sporking, after I am done with the Divergent trilogy. This was the first book that got me to question stuff, so fond memories. xD

4. I have a count for awful, judgmental protagonists. I call them "Bitchy McJudgeMuch" xD. Feel free to use it anytime you want, but if you do, can you please credit me? xD

[randomwriter86.livejournal.com]

Argh.

You know, Cast, the best descriptions are ones that leave at least a little to the imagination. Like, imagining what colour a character's 'dark hair' is, or 'fierce/proud/stern features'.

Teen alcoholism is an actual problem. Is there a count for things that could have made for decent character development if taken seriously?
Zoey could have broken up with her boyfriend because she couldn't bear to watch him destroy himself, or because alcohol turns him into someone Zoey is afraid of, or because her bio-dad had died/been divorced because of alcohol-related circumstances. Not only would that highlight an issue in a tactful and sensitive way, it would make Zoey seem like a compassionate teenager who has a relationship problem that she doesn't know how to fix. It also could have been a great tie-in for the unsupportive/un-relatable family, who brush off the problem or tell Zoey that she's being silly.

Fuck you, Kayla! That just smacks of a victim-blaming mentality. If Zoey is upset about a break-up, your job as a friend is to be supportive, not say that the break-up and it's underlying issues are Zoey's fault! Even I know that, and I routinely forget that the socially-acceptable way to answer questions like 'does this make me look fat' is not 'with any degree of honesty'!

So, people become vampires through some kind of magical transference, rather than being bitten? Kudos for a new idea, and for making the signs of being a vampire very obvious, but it still sounds a bit off.


This book is not off to a good start.