Hogwarts Overexposed

[zelda_queen]

Fanfiction Notes: The third of a, quite frankly, sickening and tasteless series by Neil. Includes pedophilia, nudism, perversion, pee and breastfeeding fetishes, and almost all of it delivered by underage girls.

As sporked by doodasnapefreak

WARNING: M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. LAWYERS WISH FOR US TO INFORM ALL VIEWERS THAT CHILDREN OR THOSE EASILY DISTURBED BY TASTELESS SEX AND SEX-RELATED ACTS. TO BORROW THE WARNINGS OF THE PREVIOUS STORY, THERE IS "EXCESSIVE NUDITY, LANGUAGE, TORTURE, PEDOPHILIA, VOYEURISM, WATERSPORTS, SCAT, SEX, RAPE, AND RAGE-INDUCING TOPICS MULTIPLIED BY TEN FROM THE LAST FIC. THIS FIC SHOULD NOT BE READ BY CHILDREN OR OTHER LIVING THINGS. EVER. IN FACT, IT SHOULD JUST BE DESTROYED, PREFERABLY ALONG WITH THE AUTHOR"

Introduction
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25

Return to the Sporking Chamber

Comments

We must mobilize!

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

"IN FACT, IT SHOULD JUST BE DESTROYED, PREFERABLY ALONG WITH THE AUTHOR"

I'll give you an amen to that, sista!

Honestly. We should mobilize ourselves and utilize the resources of 4Chan and the Internet to track down Neil and then make sure he never writes this dreck or distributes it anywhere ever again.

My proposal is that we turn him into the proper authorities and then repost his entire fanfic series rewritten as some sort of parody form...

The potential is endless!

Re: We must mobilize!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I honestly would love to know if/how Neil got his coming to him. I would love to watch it in real life, if only to see if he really is as sick and pathetic as he comes across as. I'd also love to watch him flail and try to rationalize it to people who aren't fooled.

The one comforting thought is that he WAS caught by the authorities. :D After all, I don't think he's posed in his yahoo group since 2008 or so. Perhaps he was arrested! 8D

I don't know, if a person is marked as a sexual predator or something, could they be legally banned from the internet?

Re: We must mobilize!

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Nah, they can't be legally banned from the internet, unfortunately.

I think I could bet that he got collared or something. It's a hope, but it's a hope we can count on.

Lemme tell you, I recently ran into the first chapter of Hogwarts Exposed on FF.net and he, honest-to-god, said that "FF keeps deleting all of the other chapters for no good reason."

Yes, you heard my jaw crushing my keyboard at that sentence.

P. S. This is SickBritKid from TVTropes. I started the HE JustBugsMe and saw that your page mentions you aspire to be a TGWTG contributor. I, myself, am interested in contributing to the site, mainly because I've thought about giving sporkings a shot thanks to szlaniec1000.

So, I dunno, if you're ever interested in getting another guest sporker, you can find me on FB.

Re: We must mobilize!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Lemme tell you, I recently ran into the first chapter of Hogwarts Exposed on FF.net and he, honest-to-god, said that "FF keeps deleting all of the other chapters for no good reason.""

Dear lord, yeah I know that one. He actually got together with Keiran Halcyon at one point (the idiot who wrote "Rose Potter"), and they bitched together about how FF.net was such a MEANIE for having the gall to delete their fics.

Oh, that's you? :D Good to meet you! It's always great to find sensible people on the internet.

I'm afraid I don't have a FB account actually. ^^;; (Yeah, I know, I'm hopelessly out of touch XD), but maybe I could PM you on TV Tropes? ^_^;

Re: We must mobilize!

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Sure!

I'd love to try and give sporking a go. If I get good enough at it, I'm thinking of trying to solo Hogwarts Exposed as something of a tryout for TGWTG, if I ever learn how I can try and become a contributor.

If I ever hear how, I'll make sure to let you know!

Re: We must mobilize!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

You mean doing a dramatic reading of it, like Masterpiece Fanfic Theater? That would be cool, although you might want to give massive disclaimers for Hogwarts Exposed.

I think if you want to be a contributer, you just start making videos and send 'em to Rob Walker. He actually did a post in the forums with tips. From what I heard the best thing is just to have fun and get started.

Best of luck with that, though! Let me know if you get anything down. ^_^

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

NP.

I've thought about doing Dramatic Readings of it. After all, it was szlaniec's dramatic reading of My Immortal that got me interested in sporking.

However, I thought that maybe submitting written sporkings akin to the HMS STFU's Livejournal badfics would probably work best for me. I'd be able to write better material...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

XD Oh hey, if you like Dramatic Readings, you should check out manwithoutabody's ones of My Inner Life. XD Those are hilarious!

And if you start some sporkings, let me know! I'd love to read 'em. ^_^

That reminds me. You aren't in the Kingdom Hearts fandom at all, are you?

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Kinda.

Never played the games but I really liked the concept of the whole series.

Massive multiplayer crossover involving Final Fantasy, Disney, and original characters!?

YES PLEASE!

Why do you ask?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I ask because Gethesemane (the crazy lady who wrote those Sweeney Todd, Labyrinth, and Pirates of the Caribbean fics that Mervin and I have sporked) actually wrote a Kingdom Hearts fic of her own. I didn't read it much because I know very little about the games, but from what I gathered, Ansem is married and has a daughter named Mai and is doing some experiments with Xenohart and Xenohart and Mai get married and have purple sex and...stuff happens. I don't know.

Anyway, if you were looking for something to spork and were interested, I can pass it along.

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

I'm not exactly intimate with the series, but a lot of what you just told me makes me scratch my head in puzzlement. I mean, I've seen the series in action and am familiar with the plot...

Sure, shoot me a link. Lemme see what I can do...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I know virtually nothing about KH, but I was under the impression that Xanhort was a really bad guy. ^^;

You can start reading it on her DeviantArt page, here: http://gethsemane-butler.deviantart.com/gallery/8959396#/d1mhz8m

Enjoy! :)

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Danke schon.

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

For the record, yeah, I can't really snark on this one. I'm not a good enough authority on Kingdom Hearts to spork a fanon-theory about a character's background.

Sorry. If there's a badfic for something like, say, Dragon Age...

Sure, lemme give that a toss.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Gotcha. If I see any, I'll give a shout.

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

Still, I keep wanting to perform a magnum-opus of sporking on Hogwarts Exposed as my TGWTG auditon...

What, exactly, do you wanna do as a contributor to TGWTG?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Something video related. I'm thinking maybe a focus on fantasy and sci-fi films. Whatever it is, I'm doing it with my best friend, who is also a TGWTG fan. The trouble is, we go to different colleges, have work, and thus have little time to collaborate. Plus, she doesn't have internet and our only webcam is a little thing on my netbook. Still, one obstacle at a time. ^^;

Hey, go ahead. If you can do all of HE in one go, you're a brave person. Let me know if you get there. :)

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean.

If you're gonna do a webcam series, I'd suggest that you get yourself a good webcam besides a netbook one. I have a decent one on my Macbook, but I still plan on getting a webcam and a condenser mic if I ever plan on doing a serious vlog series or I decide to do video reviews, which I just might...

I have a lot of dread in having a solo go at HE. I mean, it took Mervin and half of the HMS STFU to take down the first fic. But maybe soloing it and suffering my pain would appeal to Doug and Rob, those masochists. :P

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, Radioshack sells webcams for about twenty bucks.I might look in on of those.

Godspeed, good sir. The lovely doodasnapefreak of Sue Assassins actually managed to take down the third and fourth, so it conceivably possible to do 'em alone. Not that I would recommend doing so without some sort of backup. Perhaps a voodoo doll named "Neil" that you could stab with a kitchen knife?

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Indeed.

Though it would be better if it were the real thing...

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

I should also let you know that some jerks on Tropes went and gutted the HE JBM...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know. I saw that.

I know that IJBM is supposed to be just about plot holes and whatnot, but it seems a bit unfair that people are allowed to fill up two pages worth of complaints about Twilight and the Mortal Instruments page is allowed to comment on the plagiarism thing. -_-

Ah well.

[sickbritkid2.livejournal.com]

Meh. I despise Twilight, too.

It just annoys me that they're bitching about filling up pages with Complaining About Shows You Don't Like when the damn page is called It Just Bugs Me. That sort of phrase would extend much further than Fridge Logic.

I don't see those guys self-righteously modding the Eragon IJBMs...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

It's annoying, but my guess is that pedophilia is just too squicky to let it be complained about. I mean, yes it's obvious, but still. I dunno. At the rate things are going, my guess is that the page for that IJBM will either be locked or deleted.

Ah well, as long as the main page isn't deleted or locked, I suppose. -_-

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Though it would be better if it were the real thing..."

True, true.