Hush, Hush: Chapter 29
Nov. 10th, 2011 01:42 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: This is it! Second-to-last chapter of this horrible story! This is it! ARE. YOU. READY. TO. RUUUUUMBLE???
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 29
ZeldaQueen: Well, after Jules inexplicably keeled over (perhaps his balls were the source of his power?) Nora continues on her Quest for Vee. Now, if Nora were sensible, this would be the point where she would say "fuck that noise" and run outside to call the police. After all, Elliot is nearly dead, Jules is unconscious, and the car is right outside, and presumably there are houses near the school. Or, if Nora was not willing to do that (and alright, I could buy her being worried for Vee's safety too much to leave), she would take a second to find something to turn into a makeshift weapon. After all, it's been proven that Jules can feel pain, and carrying around a baseball bat or a large piece of wood when you're being stalked by a murderous psycho is never a bad thing.
Naturally, Nora is not a sensible person. Therefore, she just goes barreling through the school, all helter-skelter.
DUMBASS!
Although Nora does not have time to consider getting a weapon or finding some form of protection, she does give thought to where Jules could best hide Vee to make a rescue difficult. Her reasoning for the first part of this makes a decent amount of sense. She reasons that the higher up Vee is stuck, the more difficult it would be to save her. Fair enough. And then, for no reason at all, the exact location of Vee just pops into her head. No, really. I'm dead serious
"He wants to make it hard to escape and hard to be found, I reasoned. I brought up a mental blueprint of the building, narrowing my attention to the upper levels. Chances were, Vee was on the third floor, the highest in the school-except for a small fourth floor, which was more of an attic than anything else. A narrow staircase accessible only from the third floor led up to it. There were two bungalow-style classrooms at the top: AP Spanish and the eZine lab.
Vee was in the eZine lab. Just like that, I knew it"
ZeldaQueen: I...
WHAT?
What the fuck - where did that come from? There was nothing there! That doesn't even sound like she made an educated guess! That just sounds like she borrowed Zoey Redbird's Deus Ex Machina Feeling! Fitzpatrick, FOLLOW YOUR POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER'S CHAIN OF THOUGHT ALL THE WAY!
And yes, of course, that random notion is correct. I'm desperately waiting for a book where the has a Deus Ex Machina Feeling and it turns out she's really just guessing and gets it wrong.
Fitzpatrick decides to emulate Meyer and Airhead and gives a very brief mention of Nora groping around in the dark for the staircase to the fourth floor, before we jump ahead to her running into the eZine lab. For whatever reason (probably that Jules is a shitty villain), the door is not locked and Nora just waltzes right on in. Now, if we were to get that Jules was a really sadistic bad guy, he would have set it up for Nora to reach this room unhindered and suffering the psychological fear, only to slam the door shut, lock it from the inside, and have fun torturing both girls, taking it in turns so one gets to watch while the other screams. But then again, that's just me.
Vee is indeed in there, and is a useless lump, curled up on the floor and moaning. She seems a bit out-of-it considering that the last thing she remembered was being knocked out by Jules and didn't immediately recognize Nora in the dark and still is keeping quiet. I'd be tempted to think Fitzpatrick was going for the idea that Vee was concussed or suffered some such head injury and was incoherent because of that, except that Vee picks up just fine. Well, except that she's still an idiot and a load, but that's to be expected with her.
Nora, who appears to be slightly smarter now that she's not in the vicinity of Patch's abs, tells Vee that they need to make a break for it now. Vee continues to whine and whimper and insists that she's blind, because Jules cut the lights while she was passed out and she woke up in the darkness. Okay, this is ridiculous. I don't care how dark it is, I find it hard to believe that it could be so dark in there that Vee couldn't make out something. Heck, at the very least, doesn't the school have street lights that would shine in through the window? Or the moon?
In any case, Nora tells Vee that it's time to go. Vee despairs, because Jules chained all of the doors. Nora's all "Nuh uh, the one I came in was open", and Vee replies that it must have been the only door to the room that was left unchained. Nora suddenly realizes that this is what Jules meant when he wished her luck escaping - he had left her with only one way out. Okay, that is clever...if you ignore the fact that Nora now has the hostage - the only thing keeping her in the school - and has access to a number of chairs and desks and equipment which she can easily use as against Jules, because Jules was an idiot and left himself with only one way to attack them (a way that involves him fighting uphill while injured and leaving himself open to being sandwiched between them and Patch, no less). So yeah, taking that into account, that's an incredibly stupid plan. The Bowler Hat Man from Meet the Robinsons thought out his plans better.
Of course, Jules could have been taking into account that Nora and Vee are monumentally stupid, which they are, seeing as none of the above occurs to them in the slightest.
Oh, and this is precious! Vee knows about the chained doors because - get this - he chained them before he knocked her out. And the excuse he gave her? To keep people from going out of bounds while playing the game.
You know, by now I think I've grown numb to how incredibly idiotic this girl is. All I can do is laugh at that and wonder how Jules explained sneaking a number of rather large chains into the high school. Suppose it went something like this
Vee: Oh wow, this game of high school hide and seek will be the best ever! Erm, Jules? Why are you sneaking those chains inside?
Jules: Uhhh these? No reason. I just thought I'd use them to lock up every door into the eZine lab but one.
Vee: Why would you do that?
Jules: Because it's....um...out of bounds! Yeah!
Vee: Wait, so just those two doors are out of bounds? Like, the doors themselves? The actual staircases and all are good, seeing as you don't have enough chains to lock down any other doors than the ones in the lab?
Jules: Correct.
Vee: And you can't just put a sign on the doors telling Elliot and myself to not go through? It's not like we're hosting the Hide and Seek championships in here.
Jules: I play hardcore. Right. Hey, what do you say we start the game in the eZine lab? And pay no attention to this rag I'm carrying. It in no way has been soaked in chloroform!
ZeldaQueen: The stupid is killing me, I swear to God.
And no, Nora does not slap Vee silly for that level of dumbassity. Nor does it occur to her that betwen herself, Vee, and Patch, they well outnumber Jules. And yes, I know that Vee is useless and Jules has mindraping powers, but like I said, they pretty clearly have the upper hand here! He has stupidly given them time and resources to prepare to take him! Why is this an issue?
Wait, no, don't answer that. It's pretty obvious why this is an issue. Fitzpatrick wants to pad the novel and can't end it until Patch has swooped in and rescued his Lady Love, because a woman rescuing herself is completely ridiculous.
So instead of trying to concoct a plan of some sort that will take down Jules, Nora hits upon the plan of escaping...out the window. From the fourth floor. Okay then. You enjoy those broken leg bones. After all, hasn't it only been a week or so at the most since Vee recovered from her own broken leg?
Okay, granted they do plan to escape via a window closer to the ground. I still fail to see how that's any more practical than waiting for Jules to come for them and springing a trap.
Nora tells Vee that once they're out of the building, they're to run in opposite directions for help, since Jules can't chase both of them at the same time. Vee starts to cry and say it's all her fault, which it is (I'm terribly sorry, but I have no more patience for her). Nora comforts her and I wave my arms in frustration because DUDE. MURDEROUS NEPHILIM AFTER YOU. HAVE BREAKDOWN LATER. ESCAPE NOW.
Finally they run for it, and of course that right there is when Jules shows up. What convenient timing. Oh, and by this point, I honestly have no idea how the school has been laid out, between all the descriptions of Nora and Vee and Jules going up stairs and down halls and west and east and goddam! I should not need a GPS to figure out this story!
Nora tells Vee to run for it, and Vee does so. Jules is not worried in the slighest, because he knows he can finish Nora off before the police show up. Given how useless the police seem to be in this town, that sounds depressingly accurate. Nora makes a break for it and runs to the athletic wing even though I swear to God Vee had just said the door to that area was chained up! Like I said, I have no idea where anything is, though.
So we're in the girl's gym room and what is Nora's grand plan? Why, to hide in her gym locker in the hopes that the police arrive in time to save her!
...That has got to be the worst plan I've ever heard. Nora, dearest, are you aware that your master scheme boils down to YOU LOCKING YOURSELF IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE, ESSENTIALLY LOCKING YOURSELF IN A CAGE AND MAKING THINGS EASIER FOR YOUR PURSUER! And no, I don't buy that it would take Jules twenty minutes to search the lockers for her! For starters, if he tracked her to the locker room and thought she was hiding in there, I'm pretty sure he'd quickly hit upon the idea that she's hiding in her own locker. I'd also like to add that with all of the connecting rooms and corridors in a high school, how the fuck is hiding in a locker a better plan than running for the doors? Actually, wouldn't she be near a door already? Aren't the locker rooms and gyms of high schools usually located near a quick and convenient exit to the high school so, you know, they can easily leave to use the various sports fields? It was already established that their PE classes go outside to play baseball. So what, do the students get changed in the locker room and go down a flight of steps and a few corridors to get outside or something?
WHY DOES THIS STORY MAKE NO SENSE???
But wait! When Nora throws herself at the door to the girl's locker room, it's locked! Ruh-oh! She's trapped in the...gym. Wait. She had to run through the gym to get to the locker rooms? What, is this in the same bizarro universe that Twilight is in?
In any case, Nora collapses and starts trying not to faint. She leans up against the door and closes her eyes as Jules advances towards her
ZeldaQueen: My kingdom for some feminine empowerment here. Instead, we get Nora pleading for her life. Lovely. By now, I'm more than sick of having to hear Nora scream and sob and hide. Fitzpatrick, it's disgusting how you treat your protagonist.
Jules saunters on up and says that he learned from Vee that Nora is afraid of heights. Oh yeah, remember that? That trait that only showed up once before, and which Patch exploited to take advantage of her? Looks like Jules is going for the same angle. How interesting. Yes, apparently he intends to throw her off of the rafters in the gym, or something similar.
Patch, meanwhile, has taken the opportunity to make his reappearance. Well, he certainly has been helpful thus far, hasn't he? What, with all of his fallen angel powers and knowledge of the world, he just happened to be in all the places in the school that Vee and Nora weren't? And incidentally, if you're wondering where Patch was up until now, Fitzpatrick gave that information. It boiled down to "he was searching every room as quickly as he could, but he saw no reason to hurry". I wish I was making that up.
Well anyway, the Big Strong Man is here to save Nora, so she has no need to fear. Fantastic. She starts asking Jules questions to keep him from noticing Patch, which is a reasonable enough tactic. She asks if he attacked Marcie Millar (yeah, remember that bit of pointlessness?) and in fact he did, mainly because "I didn't like the idea of someone else having the pleasure of tormenting my girl".
*raises eyebrow* Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth.
She then asks if he was the one spying on her in her bedroom...Jesus Christ, how long ago was that? Has it even been referenced between then and now? But no, that was him. Great. Good to know we have all of those pointless threads we most likely forgot about all tied off.
Nora's distractions were for naught however, as Jules does realize that Patch is there. He starts sneering about how he wants to see Patch's face when he kills Nora, and that Patch is helpless to save her. Um...Jules? I think you need to rethink your logic a little. See, Patch here is completely impervious to pain and has experience fighting. You may or may not have fighting experience, but you can clearly feel pain. You also have a gash in your leg from that scalpel wound (which I'm sure shouldn't have made you bleed that much, but whatever). The only advantage you have is being closest to Nora, and if she were to escape, as she has every incentive to do, you really don't have much going for you. Add in the fact that Patch is a violent motherfucker who clearly doesn't give a rats ass about you on a good day, and I'd say you're screwed.
Well, granted Jules does have one thing on his side - a revolver. I have no idea where he got that from. I'm just going to pretend that he snuck that in with the chains, and Vee was too stupid to wonder about it. Jules sticks the gun to Nora's neck, Nora starts sobbing because clearly she hasn't been victimized enough yet, and Patch goes all bad boy scary, which I'm sure the fans and Fitzpatrick think is hot.
Hey Patch, you want to know what could help out now? Telling Jules that Nora is his descendent and killing her would kill him! At the very least, one would think it would make him pause, and I fail to see how him getting that information would cause issues.
Oh wait, grand reveal. Nevermind!
So we save that for later. Instead, Patch possesses Nora.
...Bluh?
"Without warning, a rush of power coursed into me. The foreign force expanded to fill me. My body was completely vulnerable to Patch, all my strength and freedom forfeited as he took possession of me"
ZeldaQueen: *stares*
...He has invaded her mind. He has invaded her privacy. He has invaded her personal space. He has thrown her on a bed and held her there. He has physically restrained her and prevented her from getting help to save her from him. And now... he just entered her body.
Thank you for that, Fitzpatrick. Clearly you didn't think Patch's pseudo-rape of Nora wasn't complete. I guess him stealing her body without her knowledge or consent rounds it out nicely, doesn't it?
That's not even going into the canon contradictions. It's not the first two weeks of November. Patch should not be able to possess anyone. Wasn't that the point behind Cheshvan not having any feasts or holy days and thus being the only time when fallen angels (demons) could possess humans and Nephilim? Didn't Patch say in his story that he couldn't possess anyone because he went to Earth when it wasn't Cheshvan?
Oh, whatever. It's very obvious that the rules are getting tossed out the window so that Fitzpatrick can wank over how bad boy and awesome Patch is, possessing his girlfriend and beating the shit out of Jules. I'd like to point out two things wrong with this plan.
First of all, even if Patch has knowledge of how to properly attack someone, he must be limited to the physical capablities of Nora's body. I was under the impression that Nora was skinny and not particularly powerful. So how is he using her body to smash Jules - a guy who is at the very least much taller than Nora - around the gyme?
Second of all, remember that gun pressed to Nora's neck? Like, right up against there? With something held that close, even if Patch did pull of that zany scheme successfully, isn't there still a huge chance that her head would be blown into chunky salsa? Yes, I know that it's a desperate situation, but no one ever thinks anything about it later, especially the fact that Patch put Nora at serious risk while basically violating her body.
So yeah, Patch, while in Nora's body, somehow manages to hold Jules on the ground and strangle him. I'm callin bullshit, but whatever. We're almost done with this thing. Patch mentally tells Nora that since it's not Chesvan, he's going to be kicked out of her body soon - OH COME ON! How does that work? *shakes head* Apparently it's not allowed, implying that he's breaking specific rules, which apparently are very weak rules if fallen angels are able to get inside people at all to begin with. He tells Nora that once he's booted out of her body, she should be a good little wimmuns and run for it.
Not long after, Patch is kicked out and Nora makes a run for it. Unfortunately, Jules mindrapes her into thinking that the door is locked, and she can't get past this hallucination. Thus, her only option for escape is to climb the rafters and get out through an air shaft. What? This wouldn't be complete without that particular cliche, and Fitzpatrick went to all the trouble to set up this contrived situation.
So up Nora goes, heading for the rafters via a ladder which apparently is just left around for any idiot to climb up. I'd think that in a high school they'd make some effort to keep the kids from goofing off on it, but whatever. As she heads up, Jules mindrapes her again, this time to think that that ladder is breaking apart under her feet. It's okay though, because Patch is there to give her a pep talk! Yes, because Patch is such a great motivational speaker! What's he even doing around here, anyway? Didn't he break the rules? Isn't he being summoned for some angelic hearing or something? Do the angels even do anything to him for breaking so many laws? Apparently not.
Nora closes her eyes and lets Patch's voice guide her up, because by now she has pretty much lost the ability to fight or do anything without his assistance. Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen. She reaches the rafters, and somehow Jules is right behind her. After nearly being strangled and with a stabbed, bleeding leg. Um...okay then. That boy's got some stamina.
Somehow, Nora is able to spot a tiny birthmark on his wrist, which is exactly the same as hers. This...brings home for her the fact that he's her ancestor. The book treats this like some sort of revelation, but she already seemed to have accepted the fact, so I fail to see how it's significant. Unless this is when we're being reminded that Nora dying somehow causes Jules to die...
...She's not.
Christ, she is.
Nora is going to kill herself to kill Jules. And she's going to kill herself rather than let him kill her not for anything like wanting to have control of her own fate, but because she wants Patch to get that fucking human body. Because clearly he's been such a good boy who has treated her well, he deserves her dying so he can get a happy ending.
*inhales*
ARE YOU SERIOUS???
"I looked down, even though it made me dizzy. Patch was far below on the gym floor, still as death. Right then, I wanted to go back in time and relive every moment with him. One more secret smile, one more shared laugh. One more electric kiss. Finding him was like finding someone I didn't know I was searching for. He'd come into my life too late, and now was leaving too soon. I remembered him telling me he'd give up everything for me. He already had. He'd given up a human body of his own so I could live"
*pinches bridge of nose*
First of all, "one more secret smile, one more shared laugh"? When did you do either of those things with him? You always went on about how his smiles were dangerous and you were scared of him! Did you ever laugh together about anything?
Second of all, Nora. Sweetheart. Darling. YOU HARDLY KNOW THE GUY. Of the times you knew him, you only went on three outings that might be considered a date. Two of said outings he only asked you out for because he wanted to murder you. Three-quarters of the time you hung out with him, you were scared and suspicious and angry with him. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BUY THAT YOU AND HE HAD SUCH A FANTASTIC, ELECTRIC RELATIONSHIP? NO. I WILL NOT. IT IS COMPLETELY AND IRREFUTABLY BULLSHIT.
Third, yes, what a horrible, horrible sacrifice Patch made. He didn't get what he wanted because he didn't MURDER Her! I swear to God, Nora must have sustained serious brain damage over the course of this book because that fact just does not register with her! This is not a Black Jack story, where a loving parent dies so their child can have their kidneys. You got to live because AT THE LAST MINUTE, HE DECIDED THAT MURDERING YOU WAS WRONG! What a shocker! How many people know that? A LOT. THAT'S HOW MANY. For fuck's sake, what is going on with the world, where we're expected to view abstaining from murdering innocent people as a mark of exceptional compassion? Hell, if that's the case, I'm well on my way to sainthood!
Fourth, how in the name of Jehosephat did Patch give up a human body? He never had one. You can't give up what you don't actually have, sweet cheeks.
Fifth, I am filled with immense pain, knowing that Fitzpatrick and the many fans of this series all read that quote and thought it was the most romantic thing ever.
I am so very, very tired.
Nora tells Jules how she's his descendent and thus if she sacrifices herself, Patch gets his human body and Jules gets to die. And Jules...doesn't know this. Um, odd. Why did he think Patch was stalking Nora? And he doesn't question that at all or show confusion, so he seems to already know about the way the deal works. (Although I must say, I'm still confused, since apparently a willing sacrifice works, but just murdering the descendent doesn't and...I think this book is going to drive me to drinking)
So yeah. Jules tries to kill Nora and Nora tosses herself off of the rafters. I do so love that the best contribution Nora can make to her own story is killing herself, and doing it for the benefit of her abusive boyfriend. What an utterly fantastic moral this story has!
Onward to: Chapter 30
Back to: Chapter 28
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 29
ZeldaQueen: Well, after Jules inexplicably keeled over (perhaps his balls were the source of his power?) Nora continues on her Quest for Vee. Now, if Nora were sensible, this would be the point where she would say "fuck that noise" and run outside to call the police. After all, Elliot is nearly dead, Jules is unconscious, and the car is right outside, and presumably there are houses near the school. Or, if Nora was not willing to do that (and alright, I could buy her being worried for Vee's safety too much to leave), she would take a second to find something to turn into a makeshift weapon. After all, it's been proven that Jules can feel pain, and carrying around a baseball bat or a large piece of wood when you're being stalked by a murderous psycho is never a bad thing.
Naturally, Nora is not a sensible person. Therefore, she just goes barreling through the school, all helter-skelter.
DUMBASS!
Although Nora does not have time to consider getting a weapon or finding some form of protection, she does give thought to where Jules could best hide Vee to make a rescue difficult. Her reasoning for the first part of this makes a decent amount of sense. She reasons that the higher up Vee is stuck, the more difficult it would be to save her. Fair enough. And then, for no reason at all, the exact location of Vee just pops into her head. No, really. I'm dead serious
"He wants to make it hard to escape and hard to be found, I reasoned. I brought up a mental blueprint of the building, narrowing my attention to the upper levels. Chances were, Vee was on the third floor, the highest in the school-except for a small fourth floor, which was more of an attic than anything else. A narrow staircase accessible only from the third floor led up to it. There were two bungalow-style classrooms at the top: AP Spanish and the eZine lab.
Vee was in the eZine lab. Just like that, I knew it"
ZeldaQueen: I...
WHAT?
What the fuck - where did that come from? There was nothing there! That doesn't even sound like she made an educated guess! That just sounds like she borrowed Zoey Redbird's Deus Ex Machina Feeling! Fitzpatrick, FOLLOW YOUR POINT OF VIEW CHARACTER'S CHAIN OF THOUGHT ALL THE WAY!
And yes, of course, that random notion is correct. I'm desperately waiting for a book where the has a Deus Ex Machina Feeling and it turns out she's really just guessing and gets it wrong.
Fitzpatrick decides to emulate Meyer and Airhead and gives a very brief mention of Nora groping around in the dark for the staircase to the fourth floor, before we jump ahead to her running into the eZine lab. For whatever reason (probably that Jules is a shitty villain), the door is not locked and Nora just waltzes right on in. Now, if we were to get that Jules was a really sadistic bad guy, he would have set it up for Nora to reach this room unhindered and suffering the psychological fear, only to slam the door shut, lock it from the inside, and have fun torturing both girls, taking it in turns so one gets to watch while the other screams. But then again, that's just me.
Vee is indeed in there, and is a useless lump, curled up on the floor and moaning. She seems a bit out-of-it considering that the last thing she remembered was being knocked out by Jules and didn't immediately recognize Nora in the dark and still is keeping quiet. I'd be tempted to think Fitzpatrick was going for the idea that Vee was concussed or suffered some such head injury and was incoherent because of that, except that Vee picks up just fine. Well, except that she's still an idiot and a load, but that's to be expected with her.
Nora, who appears to be slightly smarter now that she's not in the vicinity of Patch's abs, tells Vee that they need to make a break for it now. Vee continues to whine and whimper and insists that she's blind, because Jules cut the lights while she was passed out and she woke up in the darkness. Okay, this is ridiculous. I don't care how dark it is, I find it hard to believe that it could be so dark in there that Vee couldn't make out something. Heck, at the very least, doesn't the school have street lights that would shine in through the window? Or the moon?
In any case, Nora tells Vee that it's time to go. Vee despairs, because Jules chained all of the doors. Nora's all "Nuh uh, the one I came in was open", and Vee replies that it must have been the only door to the room that was left unchained. Nora suddenly realizes that this is what Jules meant when he wished her luck escaping - he had left her with only one way out. Okay, that is clever...if you ignore the fact that Nora now has the hostage - the only thing keeping her in the school - and has access to a number of chairs and desks and equipment which she can easily use as against Jules, because Jules was an idiot and left himself with only one way to attack them (a way that involves him fighting uphill while injured and leaving himself open to being sandwiched between them and Patch, no less). So yeah, taking that into account, that's an incredibly stupid plan. The Bowler Hat Man from Meet the Robinsons thought out his plans better.
Of course, Jules could have been taking into account that Nora and Vee are monumentally stupid, which they are, seeing as none of the above occurs to them in the slightest.
Oh, and this is precious! Vee knows about the chained doors because - get this - he chained them before he knocked her out. And the excuse he gave her? To keep people from going out of bounds while playing the game.
You know, by now I think I've grown numb to how incredibly idiotic this girl is. All I can do is laugh at that and wonder how Jules explained sneaking a number of rather large chains into the high school. Suppose it went something like this
Vee: Oh wow, this game of high school hide and seek will be the best ever! Erm, Jules? Why are you sneaking those chains inside?
Jules: Uhhh these? No reason. I just thought I'd use them to lock up every door into the eZine lab but one.
Vee: Why would you do that?
Jules: Because it's....um...out of bounds! Yeah!
Vee: Wait, so just those two doors are out of bounds? Like, the doors themselves? The actual staircases and all are good, seeing as you don't have enough chains to lock down any other doors than the ones in the lab?
Jules: Correct.
Vee: And you can't just put a sign on the doors telling Elliot and myself to not go through? It's not like we're hosting the Hide and Seek championships in here.
Jules: I play hardcore. Right. Hey, what do you say we start the game in the eZine lab? And pay no attention to this rag I'm carrying. It in no way has been soaked in chloroform!
ZeldaQueen: The stupid is killing me, I swear to God.
And no, Nora does not slap Vee silly for that level of dumbassity. Nor does it occur to her that betwen herself, Vee, and Patch, they well outnumber Jules. And yes, I know that Vee is useless and Jules has mindraping powers, but like I said, they pretty clearly have the upper hand here! He has stupidly given them time and resources to prepare to take him! Why is this an issue?
Wait, no, don't answer that. It's pretty obvious why this is an issue. Fitzpatrick wants to pad the novel and can't end it until Patch has swooped in and rescued his Lady Love, because a woman rescuing herself is completely ridiculous.
So instead of trying to concoct a plan of some sort that will take down Jules, Nora hits upon the plan of escaping...out the window. From the fourth floor. Okay then. You enjoy those broken leg bones. After all, hasn't it only been a week or so at the most since Vee recovered from her own broken leg?
Okay, granted they do plan to escape via a window closer to the ground. I still fail to see how that's any more practical than waiting for Jules to come for them and springing a trap.
Nora tells Vee that once they're out of the building, they're to run in opposite directions for help, since Jules can't chase both of them at the same time. Vee starts to cry and say it's all her fault, which it is (I'm terribly sorry, but I have no more patience for her). Nora comforts her and I wave my arms in frustration because DUDE. MURDEROUS NEPHILIM AFTER YOU. HAVE BREAKDOWN LATER. ESCAPE NOW.
Finally they run for it, and of course that right there is when Jules shows up. What convenient timing. Oh, and by this point, I honestly have no idea how the school has been laid out, between all the descriptions of Nora and Vee and Jules going up stairs and down halls and west and east and goddam! I should not need a GPS to figure out this story!
Nora tells Vee to run for it, and Vee does so. Jules is not worried in the slighest, because he knows he can finish Nora off before the police show up. Given how useless the police seem to be in this town, that sounds depressingly accurate. Nora makes a break for it and runs to the athletic wing even though I swear to God Vee had just said the door to that area was chained up! Like I said, I have no idea where anything is, though.
So we're in the girl's gym room and what is Nora's grand plan? Why, to hide in her gym locker in the hopes that the police arrive in time to save her!
...That has got to be the worst plan I've ever heard. Nora, dearest, are you aware that your master scheme boils down to YOU LOCKING YOURSELF IN AN ENCLOSED SPACE, ESSENTIALLY LOCKING YOURSELF IN A CAGE AND MAKING THINGS EASIER FOR YOUR PURSUER! And no, I don't buy that it would take Jules twenty minutes to search the lockers for her! For starters, if he tracked her to the locker room and thought she was hiding in there, I'm pretty sure he'd quickly hit upon the idea that she's hiding in her own locker. I'd also like to add that with all of the connecting rooms and corridors in a high school, how the fuck is hiding in a locker a better plan than running for the doors? Actually, wouldn't she be near a door already? Aren't the locker rooms and gyms of high schools usually located near a quick and convenient exit to the high school so, you know, they can easily leave to use the various sports fields? It was already established that their PE classes go outside to play baseball. So what, do the students get changed in the locker room and go down a flight of steps and a few corridors to get outside or something?
WHY DOES THIS STORY MAKE NO SENSE???
But wait! When Nora throws herself at the door to the girl's locker room, it's locked! Ruh-oh! She's trapped in the...gym. Wait. She had to run through the gym to get to the locker rooms? What, is this in the same bizarro universe that Twilight is in?
In any case, Nora collapses and starts trying not to faint. She leans up against the door and closes her eyes as Jules advances towards her
ZeldaQueen: My kingdom for some feminine empowerment here. Instead, we get Nora pleading for her life. Lovely. By now, I'm more than sick of having to hear Nora scream and sob and hide. Fitzpatrick, it's disgusting how you treat your protagonist.
Jules saunters on up and says that he learned from Vee that Nora is afraid of heights. Oh yeah, remember that? That trait that only showed up once before, and which Patch exploited to take advantage of her? Looks like Jules is going for the same angle. How interesting. Yes, apparently he intends to throw her off of the rafters in the gym, or something similar.
Patch, meanwhile, has taken the opportunity to make his reappearance. Well, he certainly has been helpful thus far, hasn't he? What, with all of his fallen angel powers and knowledge of the world, he just happened to be in all the places in the school that Vee and Nora weren't? And incidentally, if you're wondering where Patch was up until now, Fitzpatrick gave that information. It boiled down to "he was searching every room as quickly as he could, but he saw no reason to hurry". I wish I was making that up.
Well anyway, the Big Strong Man is here to save Nora, so she has no need to fear. Fantastic. She starts asking Jules questions to keep him from noticing Patch, which is a reasonable enough tactic. She asks if he attacked Marcie Millar (yeah, remember that bit of pointlessness?) and in fact he did, mainly because "I didn't like the idea of someone else having the pleasure of tormenting my girl".
*raises eyebrow* Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth.
She then asks if he was the one spying on her in her bedroom...Jesus Christ, how long ago was that? Has it even been referenced between then and now? But no, that was him. Great. Good to know we have all of those pointless threads we most likely forgot about all tied off.
Nora's distractions were for naught however, as Jules does realize that Patch is there. He starts sneering about how he wants to see Patch's face when he kills Nora, and that Patch is helpless to save her. Um...Jules? I think you need to rethink your logic a little. See, Patch here is completely impervious to pain and has experience fighting. You may or may not have fighting experience, but you can clearly feel pain. You also have a gash in your leg from that scalpel wound (which I'm sure shouldn't have made you bleed that much, but whatever). The only advantage you have is being closest to Nora, and if she were to escape, as she has every incentive to do, you really don't have much going for you. Add in the fact that Patch is a violent motherfucker who clearly doesn't give a rats ass about you on a good day, and I'd say you're screwed.
Well, granted Jules does have one thing on his side - a revolver. I have no idea where he got that from. I'm just going to pretend that he snuck that in with the chains, and Vee was too stupid to wonder about it. Jules sticks the gun to Nora's neck, Nora starts sobbing because clearly she hasn't been victimized enough yet, and Patch goes all bad boy scary, which I'm sure the fans and Fitzpatrick think is hot.
Hey Patch, you want to know what could help out now? Telling Jules that Nora is his descendent and killing her would kill him! At the very least, one would think it would make him pause, and I fail to see how him getting that information would cause issues.
Oh wait, grand reveal. Nevermind!
So we save that for later. Instead, Patch possesses Nora.
...Bluh?
"Without warning, a rush of power coursed into me. The foreign force expanded to fill me. My body was completely vulnerable to Patch, all my strength and freedom forfeited as he took possession of me"
ZeldaQueen: *stares*
...He has invaded her mind. He has invaded her privacy. He has invaded her personal space. He has thrown her on a bed and held her there. He has physically restrained her and prevented her from getting help to save her from him. And now... he just entered her body.
Thank you for that, Fitzpatrick. Clearly you didn't think Patch's pseudo-rape of Nora wasn't complete. I guess him stealing her body without her knowledge or consent rounds it out nicely, doesn't it?
That's not even going into the canon contradictions. It's not the first two weeks of November. Patch should not be able to possess anyone. Wasn't that the point behind Cheshvan not having any feasts or holy days and thus being the only time when fallen angels (demons) could possess humans and Nephilim? Didn't Patch say in his story that he couldn't possess anyone because he went to Earth when it wasn't Cheshvan?
Oh, whatever. It's very obvious that the rules are getting tossed out the window so that Fitzpatrick can wank over how bad boy and awesome Patch is, possessing his girlfriend and beating the shit out of Jules. I'd like to point out two things wrong with this plan.
First of all, even if Patch has knowledge of how to properly attack someone, he must be limited to the physical capablities of Nora's body. I was under the impression that Nora was skinny and not particularly powerful. So how is he using her body to smash Jules - a guy who is at the very least much taller than Nora - around the gyme?
Second of all, remember that gun pressed to Nora's neck? Like, right up against there? With something held that close, even if Patch did pull of that zany scheme successfully, isn't there still a huge chance that her head would be blown into chunky salsa? Yes, I know that it's a desperate situation, but no one ever thinks anything about it later, especially the fact that Patch put Nora at serious risk while basically violating her body.
So yeah, Patch, while in Nora's body, somehow manages to hold Jules on the ground and strangle him. I'm callin bullshit, but whatever. We're almost done with this thing. Patch mentally tells Nora that since it's not Chesvan, he's going to be kicked out of her body soon - OH COME ON! How does that work? *shakes head* Apparently it's not allowed, implying that he's breaking specific rules, which apparently are very weak rules if fallen angels are able to get inside people at all to begin with. He tells Nora that once he's booted out of her body, she should be a good little wimmuns and run for it.
Not long after, Patch is kicked out and Nora makes a run for it. Unfortunately, Jules mindrapes her into thinking that the door is locked, and she can't get past this hallucination. Thus, her only option for escape is to climb the rafters and get out through an air shaft. What? This wouldn't be complete without that particular cliche, and Fitzpatrick went to all the trouble to set up this contrived situation.
So up Nora goes, heading for the rafters via a ladder which apparently is just left around for any idiot to climb up. I'd think that in a high school they'd make some effort to keep the kids from goofing off on it, but whatever. As she heads up, Jules mindrapes her again, this time to think that that ladder is breaking apart under her feet. It's okay though, because Patch is there to give her a pep talk! Yes, because Patch is such a great motivational speaker! What's he even doing around here, anyway? Didn't he break the rules? Isn't he being summoned for some angelic hearing or something? Do the angels even do anything to him for breaking so many laws? Apparently not.
Nora closes her eyes and lets Patch's voice guide her up, because by now she has pretty much lost the ability to fight or do anything without his assistance. Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen. She reaches the rafters, and somehow Jules is right behind her. After nearly being strangled and with a stabbed, bleeding leg. Um...okay then. That boy's got some stamina.
Somehow, Nora is able to spot a tiny birthmark on his wrist, which is exactly the same as hers. This...brings home for her the fact that he's her ancestor. The book treats this like some sort of revelation, but she already seemed to have accepted the fact, so I fail to see how it's significant. Unless this is when we're being reminded that Nora dying somehow causes Jules to die...
...She's not.
Christ, she is.
Nora is going to kill herself to kill Jules. And she's going to kill herself rather than let him kill her not for anything like wanting to have control of her own fate, but because she wants Patch to get that fucking human body. Because clearly he's been such a good boy who has treated her well, he deserves her dying so he can get a happy ending.
*inhales*
ARE YOU SERIOUS???
"I looked down, even though it made me dizzy. Patch was far below on the gym floor, still as death. Right then, I wanted to go back in time and relive every moment with him. One more secret smile, one more shared laugh. One more electric kiss. Finding him was like finding someone I didn't know I was searching for. He'd come into my life too late, and now was leaving too soon. I remembered him telling me he'd give up everything for me. He already had. He'd given up a human body of his own so I could live"
*pinches bridge of nose*
First of all, "one more secret smile, one more shared laugh"? When did you do either of those things with him? You always went on about how his smiles were dangerous and you were scared of him! Did you ever laugh together about anything?
Second of all, Nora. Sweetheart. Darling. YOU HARDLY KNOW THE GUY. Of the times you knew him, you only went on three outings that might be considered a date. Two of said outings he only asked you out for because he wanted to murder you. Three-quarters of the time you hung out with him, you were scared and suspicious and angry with him. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO BUY THAT YOU AND HE HAD SUCH A FANTASTIC, ELECTRIC RELATIONSHIP? NO. I WILL NOT. IT IS COMPLETELY AND IRREFUTABLY BULLSHIT.
Third, yes, what a horrible, horrible sacrifice Patch made. He didn't get what he wanted because he didn't MURDER Her! I swear to God, Nora must have sustained serious brain damage over the course of this book because that fact just does not register with her! This is not a Black Jack story, where a loving parent dies so their child can have their kidneys. You got to live because AT THE LAST MINUTE, HE DECIDED THAT MURDERING YOU WAS WRONG! What a shocker! How many people know that? A LOT. THAT'S HOW MANY. For fuck's sake, what is going on with the world, where we're expected to view abstaining from murdering innocent people as a mark of exceptional compassion? Hell, if that's the case, I'm well on my way to sainthood!
Fourth, how in the name of Jehosephat did Patch give up a human body? He never had one. You can't give up what you don't actually have, sweet cheeks.
Fifth, I am filled with immense pain, knowing that Fitzpatrick and the many fans of this series all read that quote and thought it was the most romantic thing ever.
I am so very, very tired.
Nora tells Jules how she's his descendent and thus if she sacrifices herself, Patch gets his human body and Jules gets to die. And Jules...doesn't know this. Um, odd. Why did he think Patch was stalking Nora? And he doesn't question that at all or show confusion, so he seems to already know about the way the deal works. (Although I must say, I'm still confused, since apparently a willing sacrifice works, but just murdering the descendent doesn't and...I think this book is going to drive me to drinking)
So yeah. Jules tries to kill Nora and Nora tosses herself off of the rafters. I do so love that the best contribution Nora can make to her own story is killing herself, and doing it for the benefit of her abusive boyfriend. What an utterly fantastic moral this story has!
Onward to: Chapter 30
Back to: Chapter 28
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 07:30 am (UTC)That... I'm beginning to think that that "farewell thought" Nora had is written SEPARATE from the entire story and Fitzpatrick arranged all these bullcrap plot JUST to write that line. I know I do that sometimes. I think of a line that sounded awesome, and I piece together a scene JUST to have a character say that line. Most of the time, it ended up not fitting the overall plot/scene/situation. Like this one right here.
What secret smile? What shared laugh? Nora and Patch's interactions ALL consist of him being a creep and Nora wanting him to go away. There's that one scene in the bathroom where they had a heavy make out session, but under a very rapey situation. Which is not cute, sexy or romantic. It sounded like foreplay for porn. And THAT was just two-three chapters ago. Which supposedly happened at the very most two hours before this. Okay. Where's the love? Where did it come from?
From the author's ass *snarl*
I have that kind of dilemma with one of my stories. I wanted these two people to fall in love, except that I've set the girl up to totally hate the guy with no reason to like him. The guy DOES like her, except that he's been going on about it in totally wrong. I have no idea how to get her to reconcile with him naturally without pulling a "because I said so" card.
I still don't know HOW Nora dead = JulesChauncey also dead. I read the vague explanation in the next chapter, but I don't get it at all. Something about souls and stuff... Explains nothing. It's not like Nephilim and their descendants share ONE soul or whatever. Or do they? *is dizzy*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 08:05 am (UTC)---
As soon as Jules crumpled, Nora ran from the room, not even thinking to grab a weapon.
This ended up proving her downfall, as she had barely made it three steps out the classroom door when she felt a blunt object--a baseball bat--smack the back of her head. She dropped like a sack of bricks, the last thing she saw being a teenaged girl with unruly, dark hair standing over her, moonlight reflecting off her glasses.
The last thing she heard was "Dumbass. You really think the boss wouldn't have brought back-up?"
---
Kinda a jab at Jules too...what kind of villain only has one guy working for him, and only one other guy in a building as huge as a school. Logically, he should have several people so they would cover more ground and have a higher chance of catching Nora and bringing her to him.
You get a prize for the Meet the Robinsons ref.
*raises eyebrow* Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth.
Nope, you are not. BI
Quick question: Why can't Patch tell Nora that the door isn't really locked, or override Jules' mindrape with something of his own? Is there an explanation or is Fitzpatrick just that lazy?
You also win for reffing Black Jack. (I remember one where one man dies and his hands go to...what was he, a sushi-chef who had lost control of his own hands? That was sweet...)
Oh, my God, Fitzpatrick...You know, when a character decides that it's Better To Die Than Be Killed, or is all "I'm taking you with me!" or something like that...usually it's awesome. Or it makes the audience bawl their eyes out. Or both. (Sheesh, the girl in my icon made us do both!) When Nora tries to invoke it, here? It's stupid. It comes out of nowhere, it's just plain idiotic, and just...no. There is not even any decent emotion for us as readers to be feeling. There is no emotion in this scene other than anger at the character's idiocy.
Seriously, Fitzpatrick, you have one of the biggest ways you can invoke an emotion in your audience...and you bungle it. how the hell do you manage to bungle that?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 02:38 pm (UTC)Nope, you are not. BI
Seconding. It took me a second to realize it WASN'T Patch saying that. Romance: You're doing it wrong.
Yep. Sushi chef who had lost control of his own hands due to an accident the guy was responsible for, the guy feels guilty, sushi chef teaches him to make sushi in his place as surrogate hands, they become best friends, and then at the end the guy dies and his fiancee tells Black Jack to give the chef his hands so a piece of her fiance will live on. That was sweet. This is not. It just makes me want to track down the second volume of Black Jack.
Digression aside, this chapter... why is it every single chapter of this makes me want to find Fitzpatrick and shake her? Seriously, lady, if you're writing for your rape fetish, fine, but warn us first!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 01:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 11:02 pm (UTC)Yes, I'm angry just by reading the recap, and I don't feel like being nice.
Reading about how Nora is treated makes me want to hug my two main female characters. One is a rookie pirate captain, and the other is a gunslinging treasure hunter. None of them will be caught dead sobbing helplessly like Nora here. If reading about a character acting this way makes me feel all icky inside, I really don't want to try writing one and get inside her head... Or inside the head of the people mistreating her and taking advantage of her for that matter.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-11 01:17 am (UTC)...It’s just a way of saying that Hush, Hush works so much better as a horror novel. Of course, there's still the issue of sloppy worldbuilding, stupid characters, not to mention inconsistency and plot convenience – but much of it could be excused if the author portrayed such things as possible side effects of Nora’s mind being manipulated and her (Nora) being an unreliable narrator, so the readers had to make guesses as to what’s real and what’s an illusion. As a romance, though? This. Doesn’t. Work.
And the possessing of Nora’s body is wrong on so many levels. For example, what if Patch killed Jules/Chauncey while possessing Nora? Yes, it would be he who did it, but... her body would have been used as a tool for killing. It is possible to argue that she wouldn't care all that much
because Fitzpatrick has written her as a Patch-obsessed idiot with no interests outside her boyfriendbecause at the end of this chapter she makes the choice to kill herself in order to kill Jules, but, stupid as it is, it is still her choice. If Patch killed Jules while possessing Nora's body, he'd be making the choice for her.Just something to think about.
-FL II
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-11 01:30 am (UTC)Not only that, but if he killed Jules, Nora is the one who gets to face the police. Yeah, he was STRANGLING him. Her fingerprints would be all over his throat! Even if Nora convinced the police (who have proven to be rather disinclined to listen to her) that it was in self-defense, what's she going to say? Even if she avoids going to Juvie at all, she's still probably going to be whispered about by everyone as that crazy girl who killed a student. Add in her police call about the break-in, the fact that her house was set on fire while she was at home alone, and the suspicion that she brained Marcie, and I'd say Nora would have even fewer friends than she began with. And it would be all Patch's fault.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-11 05:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-12 10:57 pm (UTC)Then Jules enters the picture and shows Nora the truth. With his cover broken, Patch kidnaps Vee and demands Nora come to the school and be his vessel or else he'll hurt Vee. Jules and Nora team up to kill him and Jules probably dies in the confrontation, leaving Nora alive but suffering the after effects of having her mind manipulated, not knowing what's real and what's not.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-11 01:45 am (UTC)Vee is truly Too Stupid to Live. The only reason that natural selection hasn't finished her off yet is because she's Nora's best friend.
/until Patch has swooped in and rescued his Lady Love, because a woman rescuing herself is completely ridiculous./
You know it’s bad when the author purposely throws in all of these contrivances just so the hero, not the heroine, can save the day. Sexism, thy name is Becca Fitzpatrick.
/he saw no reason to hurry/
So, he's finally here (after skulking in the school for who knows how long) and the reason why he’s late? Because he didn’t think that he needed to rush. His girlfriend’s best friend was in danger and he just took his time. He just strolled around while a psycho was possibly killing an innocent girl.
Yeah, you keep telling us that he’s really a good guy underneath, Ms. Fitzpatrick. I’ll just keep telling you that I’m the Queen of Sheba.
/that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth./
Everything that Jules has said sounds like it could have come out of Patch’s mouth. He’s nothing more than a pale imitation of Patch, so Fitzpatrick can stop trying to tell us that he’s the villain and Patch is the hero.
/And she's going to kill herself rather than let him kill her not for anything like wanting to have control of her own fate, but because she wants Patch to get that fucking human body. Because clearly he's been such a good boy who has treated her well, he deserves her dying so he can get a happy ending./
Excuse me for a moment.
*explodes*
That’s better. Okay. Where do I begin?
/Patch was far below on the gym floor, still as death./
How convenient. He’s been stomping around and yelling, “I’m dangerous!” for this whole book, yet at the climax, he’s as helpful as Jello. *rolls eyes*
/I wanted to go back in time and relive every moment with him./
Oh, you mean the moment where he humiliated you in front of everyone by treating you like a piece of meat? Or the moment where he assaulted you in the garage? Or the moment where he brainwashed you to think that you were falling to your death? Or any of the other moments where he’s done nothing but TERRORIZE you?
/One more secret smile, one more shared laugh./
WHAT secret smile? WHAT shared laugh? The only times that he laughed were when he scared, upset, or humiliated you, so don’t tell me that you ever “shared” a laugh. Where was all of this in the story? Nowhere! This is all lies! LIES!
/Finding him was like finding someone I didn't know I was searching for./
Well, most people don’t search for stalkers, murderers, and – oh, my Lord, how can I take this seriously? Do you realize what you’re writing, Ms. Fitzpatrick? Do you have any idea of how ludicrous this sounds?
/I remembered him telling me he'd give up everything for me./
WHAT did he give up for you? You’ve given up your sanity, your intelligence, your safety, all to satisfy this sick quest of his. What the heck has he given you in return? That psycho hasn’t sacrificed anything! Everyone has been giving him everything he wants on a silver platter, including your author!
/He'd given up a human body of his own so I could live/
Oh, the poor baby, what a great sacrifice he made, stopping himself from killing someone at the last minute. -_-
/the best contribution Nora can make to her own story is killing herself, and doing it for the benefit of her abusive boyfriend./
So, the only effective act of defiance that Fitzpatrick allows Nora to make in order to beat a villain…and it’s an act of suicide.
Yeah, because it’s not like a woman sacrificing herself for a man is a time-honored misogynistic trope or anything. It’s not like suicide has ever been romanticized. It’s not like women are constantly asked to sacrifice themselves and men aren't. For the last time, Ms. Fitzpatrick, SUICIDE IS NOT ROMANTIC! It wasn’t romantic in “New Moon” and it is not romantic here! Literally throwing your life away for a boy is not romantic! Especially not when he’s a sadistic psychopath! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-12 04:15 am (UTC)I am more likely to believe you are God himself than that Patch is a Good Guy underneath.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-11 02:18 pm (UTC)Actually, that makes perfect sense.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-12 10:30 pm (UTC)Wait. She had to run through the gym to get to the locker rooms?
I'm not sure I've seen a gym set up any other way. Every gym I've been in - jr. high, high school, several colleges - had locker rooms that were only accessible from the gym. I'm posting from bizarro world?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-13 05:07 am (UTC)Ah. ^^; All the gyms I've been to have had the locker rooms outside. In the outtake for Twilight that I linked to, it was mentioned as well, so I had that brought to mind.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-13 05:24 pm (UTC)(And, honestly, I only commented on the gym thing because it was the only comment I could make that wasn't ^%$##$%^%&^. I'm sure you know the feeling all too well.)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-14 04:36 am (UTC)(It's cool. ^_^ I was just so frustrated, because I couldn't tell where ANYTHING in that school is located. Until she said the door was locked, I thought she actually WAS already inside the girl's locker room! And you're right, that feeling does crop up when this story is read)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-24 01:22 am (UTC)But that's not what happened. What happened was that Patch just emotionally manipulated the girl he was trying to murder into doing his job for him because he's hot.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-15 01:51 am (UTC)I've… totally given up on understanding this story. Seriously, chains out of nowhere, the lead characters not fighting back or doing anything of note, contrived events and telling things instead of showing… I just don't care anymore :D The sporking is the only thing getting me through it, it's great. And how is Patch the Great Big Hero if Fitzpatrick all-out admitted that he took his time to help his supposed beloved and Vee? What about his stupid angel powers and being impervious to pain? He's pretty much just either leisurely wandering around or invading Nora's body (:O) or yelling shit at her!
And how much more shit can Fitzpatrick lift from Twilight? First the biology class plot, then Nora trying to remember her 'self defence' techniques and now Nora being stupidly led to the villain and wanting to sacrifice herself?
Wait - how can Nora go hide in a locker or whatever and pray the police just show up ad find her if nobody bothered to call them?
And Nora and Vee just don't think to pick up anything to use as a weapon at all and just beat the shit out of Jules? They don’t think to fight back at all in any way?!
Man, this story is such a mess!
(perhaps his balls were the source of his power?)
Even that would make for a great twist to this story :D 'So his power was in his balls the whole time?!'
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-26 06:22 am (UTC)You know, the fans get pissed if it's compared to Twilight, but it's seriously hard to deny. We even get our Jacob copy in the sequel, complete with getting a shit deal on the love triangle.
Vee was supposed to call the police after she escaped. Of course, being Vee, she's completely useless at this task.
No, they don't. I have no idea why not. I SERIOUSLY long for a story where the climax has arrived and the characters retain their entire brains.
Yes, that would be a great twist. XD
lost hope
Date: 2011-12-28 12:44 am (UTC)I only read the book because my friend told me to it was an utter waste of 4.99 i could of done something with that money. And how is there a sequel if she kills her self god common sense. But i must say she is the fucking worst heroine ever made. also when nora asks vee whats wrong with her she says nothing about her leg and when they get out of the car at borderline she dont have crutches or a wheel chair she can just magically walk on her broken leg without pain. I AM ANNOYED :(
Sense, book has none
Date: 2012-02-05 09:46 pm (UTC)It's really bad when the plot itself sets up the Xanatos Gambits for the villain.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-02 05:04 pm (UTC)So we save that for later. Instead, Patch possesses Nora.
Hang on. Wasn't that the one thing he said he wouldn't do to her?!
Nora is going to kill herself to kill Jules. And she's going to kill herself rather than let him kill her not for anything like wanting to have control of her own fate, but because she wants Patch to get that fucking human body. Because clearly he's been such a good boy who has treated her well, he deserves her dying so he can get a happy ending.
What the hells? That guy took control of your body without your consent just moments ago, he frequently rapes your mind, he's a colossal asshole... hang on.
Once he's a human, it's safe to assume he doesn't have his powers. Is there any way of interpreting this scene in a way so that Nora is sacrificing herself to stop Patch by taking away his mindrape powers?
He'd given up a human body of his own so I could live
This sounds like he actually did some thing to protect her. Ugh.
Spitefic: How it should have ended Part 1
Date: 2015-05-20 04:53 am (UTC)Patch walked into view, as sexy as ever, and Nora ran to him, jumping into his arms. “Patch! Oh thank god, I thought you were hurt!”
Patch rolled his eyes at her, smiling that self satisfied smirk that he always had. “You should have done what I told you to.”
Nora borrowed her face into his chest. “I know, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to give up your human body because of me and--”
Patch put a finger to her lips. “It's fine. I'll find another way.” He squeezed her a bit, before pushing her aside. “Stand aside Nora, I wouldn't want you to get hurt. I'll take care of this.”
He strode up to Jules, thighs flexing sexily, and grabbed him by his collar, slamming him up against the wall. Jules' face was bloody and his nose was squished to the side, almost as if he had broken it with his fall.
Patch shook his head at him, like he was looking at a toddler. “I should have known you would misbehave sooner or later. After treating you so nicely, giving you a whole year off just for two weeks of possession, this is how you treat me?” Patch tsked.
Jules spat in face. “I don't even know how you can say that with a straight face, demon.”
Patch made a show of wiping the bloody spit off his face, before backhanding him. Nora gasped. “Looks like you need to be taught a bit of discipline. You's think that after a few centuries you would know how to treat your betters.”
Jules laughed, his face looking demented. Nora felt scared, before rationalizing that patch was here to protect her. “Betters? Coming from some two bit demon who needs to chase after mentally retarded school girls just to get off at night?”
Patch growled, the sound sending a wave of fear and arousal through Nora as she watched. “Don't talk to her like that.”
“Oh please.” Jules rolled his eyes before looking at Patch with a patronizing look. “Are you still under the impression that you're in love with her? That you actually care about her? Don't make me laugh demon. You don't care about anyone else but yourself.”
Patch snarled. “I'm willing to give up my humanity for--”
Jules laughed again, the sound echoing throughout the empty gym. Even though patch clearly had him at his mercy, Nora couldn't help but get a bad feeling. Something just wasn't right...
“Think about what you're saying Patch. You, in love? The demon so prideful that he was willing to give up the chance of getting his wings back simply because of the lower station that would come with it? The demon raped and pillaged all across the country side, killing innocents and angels alike just because they were human and thus so far beneath him? The demon willing to give up his own comrades to Lucifer just to save his own skin? Actually stating that he loves someone, that he's willing to give up something that he's craved for centuries on the whim of a school girl that he's met for all of two months? Does that sound like the same demon to you? Or,” Jules leaned down towards Patch, “does that sound like the claims of a weak minded fool who's been easily controlled this entire time?”
Re: Spitefic: How it should have ended Part 2
Date: 2015-05-20 04:55 am (UTC)“What the hell are you-”
“I didn't think I could do it at first. Oh, I was able to control people with practice, but it was limited. I couldn't do it to the extent that you demons could do it. No, I realized I needed help. I needed someone who had just as much experience with the minds of demons like you. Which is why I went to Dabria.”
Patch's eyes widened. “What?!”
Jules grinned. “She taught me everything I knew. How to influence the mind in such a way that the person wouldn't even know they were being controlled. How to implant small suggestions and emotions into the mind of another, until they grew and took over the mind within a matter of weeks. She spent centuries teaching me how to get inside your head, how to read your mind without you ever noticing a damn thing, all the while pretending to be infatuated with you. And you were so arrogant that you actually though the Angel of Death would spend time with a lowly fallen angel, without having any ulterior motives.
“I found out about your plans with Nora, how you wanted to sacrifice her to finally get your human body. I couldn't let that happen, so I distracted you. I made you feel things for her, made you obsess over her until she was all you could think about. I made you fall in love with her knowing that, being the obsessive bastard you are, you would not let it go. You let it consume you, until she was the only thing you thought about. You were always easily distracted, something that I took advantage of.”
Patch's eyes were full of rage. “You piece of-”
“And while you were both preoccupied with each other - and while Elliot and Dabria were influencing your delusions - I had time to set up and get what I need. Tell me demon, do you know what an illusion stone is?”
Jules snapped his fingers.
Reality itself seemed to warp in front of Nora before everything changed. While they were all still in the gym, their surroundings had changed. Cone were the clean floors and walls. They were now completely covered in strange symbols that seemed to be written in blood. The symbols covered everything, even the doors and windows. The doors and windows themselves were sealed shut with strange glowing chains. And scattered all around her were these strange, multicolored, glowing stones that radiated a peculiar energy.
Nora didn't know the significance of her surroundings, but Patch seemed to. His face had gone completely white as he staggered away from Jules, who slumped to the floor. His head whipped around taking in all of his surroundings with a steadily growing horror.
“No...”
“Oh yes.” Jules rose to his feet. “Elliot was a peculiar find. Both Dabria and I found him in the aftermath of one of your boredom fueled rampages a little over three hundred years ago. We had no idea he was a warlock at the time. It was when he slowly stopped aging that we realized what we found. He spent years along with us, honing his gifts just so he could take revenge against you for what you did to him and his family. You can thank him for all of the symbols by the way. Normally they wouldn't be enough to kill a fallen angel, especially a fallen archangel. But considering that these symbols were painted from the blood of the Angel of Death, fueled by the magic of a three hundred year old warlock, and the runes themselves came from the written words of Christ himself?” Jules shrugged and gave them both a mocking smile. “Well, I'm confident that this amount of fire power could take out Lucifer at his most powerful. ”
As if on cue, the symbols around them started to glow. Jules smirked. “It seems like Elliot managed to activate the runes. That gives you” he made a show of thinking about it, “say two minutes before this all blows sky high.”
Re: Spitefic: How it should have ended Part 3
Date: 2015-05-20 04:57 am (UTC)Jules raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
“Elliot is dead. I saw his body myself.” Nora felt a moment of satisfaction, that is until Jules smiled at her.
“Who said that was Elliot?”
Nora's eyes widened. “W-wha--”
“I told you, Elliot is a warlock. He created a mud golem, implanted an illusion stone, and made it to look like him. In reality, Elliot is waiting for me in a hotel with Dabria, all the way back in Portland and the body you saw before has already turned to dust. I told him to set off the runes as soon as I called him. Remember Nora? When I passed out and I let you get away to talk to your dumbass of a friend?”
“Oh my God, Vee, she's--”
“Not even here. That was another golem, one made specifically so it could lead you both here.”
Patch strode over and kicked him in his side. “What the fuck makes you think that you're getting out of here huh? You're just as trapped as the both of us!”
Patch kneeled down to look Jules in the face. “And unless you want to die a slow, painful death, you will get me out of here.”
Nora walked towards forwards, raising a hand towards him. “Patch-”
Patch whipped around to face her and she flinched back. “Shut the fuck up!”
Jules laughed from where he was curled up. “Temper temper, demon. One would almost think you're getting a bit stressed out.”
Patch hauled him up from the floor. “I will make the last few centuries seem like a fucking birthday party compared to what I'm gonna do to you now if you don't let me out of here.”
Jules mockingly shook his head. “Oh you stupid, stupid, demon. What makes you think that's I'm even here in the first place?”
The two of them barely had time to puzzle out what he meant, before he turned to dust in Patch's arms.
It was then that the entire room was engulfed in an intense bright light.
0000000000000000
Jules watched from his rear view mirror as a wave of light exploded from the school, going on to spread throughout the surrounding neighborhood. The particular spell Elliot created was meant to only hurt fallen angels. Any humans or Nephilim caught in the blast would only get a strange chill or maybe a feeling of discomfort. Any and all memories related to him, Elliot, Dabria, the fallen, as well as the explosion of light itself would be immediately wiped from the memory of everyone the light came in contact to. Elliot guarantee that the spell would reach everyone in town and from the looks of it, he was right. Just when he thought he couldn't impress him...
Jules reached the hotel the three of them would be staying at, a simple three star place that Dabria picked out for all of them. Making sure to check in at the desk, he headed up to his and Elliot's shared room. He barely opened the door before he was tackled to the floor and kissed within and inch of his life.
Re: Spitefic: How it should have ended Part 4
Date: 2015-05-20 04:58 am (UTC)“Ye-” Jules was immediately kissed again, this time with a considerable amount of tongue. Elliot ground himself down on him, and Jules reached under his shirt, flicking his hands over his nipples. Elliot moaned against his mouth and reached a hand down the Nephilim's pants, managing to get a groan from his preoccupied mouth.
Just when it looked like they were about to have sex right in the middle of the hallway, they heard someone clear their throat and speak.
“God, you two are like a couple of bunnies in heat. Every time I see you, you're trying to fuck each other in public. It's like I can't take you two anywhere.”
Debria looked down at them with her hands on her hips. The two stopped kissing, Elliot turning towards her to give her a sheepish grin. “Sorry, we got a bit carried away.”
Jules gave him a dry look. “Speak for yourself. I was just minding my own business when you attacked me.”
“Well you didn't seem to be complaining when I was-”
“Will you two idiots get the fuck off the floor?” She crossed her arms. Honestly, it was like dealing with a couple of children.
The three of them walked into the hotel room, making sure to lock the door on the way in. Debria collapsed on the bed and looked towards Jules. “So, I take it that Jules' plan was a success?”
Jules smiled at her. “Patch, along with every fallen within town limits, is dead. No one has any memory of him or us, and all evidence of our existence was erased.”
Elliot threw his hands in the air. “Whoohooo!”
Debria tried to keep herself composed, but couldn't help let a small smile grow on her face. “Finally. Over three hundred years, but we finally did it.”
“So are we going after the rest of the fallen next?” Elliot asked, snuggling up against Jules in his lap.
“Of course. Patch was the most difficult case and one of the more influential fallen. With him out of the way. It shouldn't take much to be rid of the rest.”
Jules sighed. “I can't believe its finally over. That bastard had control over me my entire life and now...”
Elliot gave him a kiss on the cheek. “And now you're free.”
“But what if it happens again? What if--”
“Jules, it will never happen again.” Debria gave him a comforting look, placing her hand on his. “You know as well as I do that Patch placed his mark on you. No other fallen other than him can take control of you, and with him gone, you have nothing to worry about. Trust me.”
“And even if they try, they'll have to go through us.” Elliot smiled at him, and Jules found himself smiling back. “The nightmare is over Jules. You have nothing to worry about anymore. Not with us around.”
Jules eyes started to mist up as his best friend and his boyfriend reassured him. For centuries he had been under control, his mind ripped apart at the hands of a demonic bully. Now, with Patch dead and the two people he most cared about with him at his side, he felt as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
He was free.