Oh, hey, a mini spitefic-already... --- As soon as Jules crumpled, Nora ran from the room, not even thinking to grab a weapon.
This ended up proving her downfall, as she had barely made it three steps out the classroom door when she felt a blunt object--a baseball bat--smack the back of her head. She dropped like a sack of bricks, the last thing she saw being a teenaged girl with unruly, dark hair standing over her, moonlight reflecting off her glasses.
The last thing she heard was "Dumbass. You really think the boss wouldn't have brought back-up?" --- Kinda a jab at Jules too...what kind of villain only has one guy working for him, and only one other guy in a building as huge as a school. Logically, he should have several people so they would cover more ground and have a higher chance of catching Nora and bringing her to him.
You get a prize for the Meet the Robinsons ref.
*raises eyebrow* Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth. Nope, you are not. BI
Quick question: Why can't Patch tell Nora that the door isn't really locked, or override Jules' mindrape with something of his own? Is there an explanation or is Fitzpatrick just that lazy?
You also win for reffing Black Jack. (I remember one where one man dies and his hands go to...what was he, a sushi-chef who had lost control of his own hands? That was sweet...)
Oh, my God, Fitzpatrick...You know, when a character decides that it's Better To Die Than Be Killed, or is all "I'm taking you with me!" or something like that...usually it's awesome. Or it makes the audience bawl their eyes out. Or both. (Sheesh, the girl in my icon made us do both!) When Nora tries to invoke it, here? It's stupid. It comes out of nowhere, it's just plain idiotic, and just...no. There is not even any decent emotion for us as readers to be feeling. There is no emotion in this scene other than anger at the character's idiocy. Seriously, Fitzpatrick, you have one of the biggest ways you can invoke an emotion in your audience...and you bungle it. how the hell do you manage to bungle that?
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Date: 2011-11-10 08:05 am (UTC)---
As soon as Jules crumpled, Nora ran from the room, not even thinking to grab a weapon.
This ended up proving her downfall, as she had barely made it three steps out the classroom door when she felt a blunt object--a baseball bat--smack the back of her head. She dropped like a sack of bricks, the last thing she saw being a teenaged girl with unruly, dark hair standing over her, moonlight reflecting off her glasses.
The last thing she heard was "Dumbass. You really think the boss wouldn't have brought back-up?"
---
Kinda a jab at Jules too...what kind of villain only has one guy working for him, and only one other guy in a building as huge as a school. Logically, he should have several people so they would cover more ground and have a higher chance of catching Nora and bringing her to him.
You get a prize for the Meet the Robinsons ref.
*raises eyebrow* Please tell me I'm not the only one who thought that sounded like something out of Patch's mouth.
Nope, you are not. BI
Quick question: Why can't Patch tell Nora that the door isn't really locked, or override Jules' mindrape with something of his own? Is there an explanation or is Fitzpatrick just that lazy?
You also win for reffing Black Jack. (I remember one where one man dies and his hands go to...what was he, a sushi-chef who had lost control of his own hands? That was sweet...)
Oh, my God, Fitzpatrick...You know, when a character decides that it's Better To Die Than Be Killed, or is all "I'm taking you with me!" or something like that...usually it's awesome. Or it makes the audience bawl their eyes out. Or both. (Sheesh, the girl in my icon made us do both!) When Nora tries to invoke it, here? It's stupid. It comes out of nowhere, it's just plain idiotic, and just...no. There is not even any decent emotion for us as readers to be feeling. There is no emotion in this scene other than anger at the character's idiocy.
Seriously, Fitzpatrick, you have one of the biggest ways you can invoke an emotion in your audience...and you bungle it. how the hell do you manage to bungle that?