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[personal profile] zelda_queen
ZeldaQueen: Well, it's high time we finished up with Gethesemane's batshittery. Here we go!

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

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Believe it or not, I was actually flamed for my writing style

ZeldaQueen: Imagine that

because, according to said flamer, I am not supposed to write POTC stories because my writing doesn't sound "piratey,"

ZeldaQueen: Well yeah, it's rather jarring to hear pirates talk like they're from Victorian England

and my OC, who happens to be a pirate (oh look, I made a Mary-Sue!),

ZeldaQueen: Yes, you totally did

doesn't talk like it's Talk Like a Pirate Day. I can't write like that.

ZeldaQueen: You also can't write in faux Ye Olde English either. I'm not sure how to describe your writing, besides "bad"

I tried, and I wasn't comfortable writing in extremely mindless, simple terms (a la Stephenie Meyer; I can't be that mind-numbingly insipid, so shoot me).

ZeldaQueen: *trying her hardest to keep a straight face* I and many others would beg to differ

The only way I'm comfortable with writing is my own style. It's not like I can easily change my style for one story and then write as I usually do in the others.

ZeldaQueen: Um, the answer for that is simple, dearie. Don't write in a genre that clashes with your style

It's like changing the way you draw for one picture and then immediately turning around and going with your usual style for the others.

ZeldaQueen: Actually what you insist on doing is like doing replicas of a variety of paintings from various time periods and locations and painting them in exactly the same style. You're not doing original writing, and even if you were, you need to stick to what's believable, by way of language and dialect. Otherwise, people are going to notice if you use anachronistic language or words or phrases that weren't from that area
-------------------------

Out of all the fanfiction I've written (or the ones that I can remember), which of the following couples is your favorite and why?

ZeldaQueen: (Gethesemane) "Answer this question, my ducks, for I feel the urge to WANK over my own magnificence!"

I'm just curious; I like to hear from my readers. :D

ZeldaQueen: Yes, it's totally that you just want to keep in touch with your readers and their opinions, as long as the opinions are good ones, that is. If there's any actual criticism you pitch a fit

And I happen to be bored.

ZeldaQueen: Translation - she wants her readers to amuse her. Charming


1) Sephiroth/Mai - The Door to Darkness
2) Xemnas (Xehanort)/ Mai - The Door to Darkness

ZeldaQueen: Hmm, I'll let [livejournal.com profile] overlordmikey score those ones

3) Jack Sparrow/Katherine Morgan - Heart of the Sea

ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, the love of one spineless idiot for another, a love that leads them to commit murder. Lovely

4) Davy Jones/Katherine Morgan - Ghosts of the Abyss

ZeldaQueen: What?!? Why them? They had a one-night stand- perhaps the most disgusting one ever, I might add - and you're ranking them up there? I just...what? Wasn't his Tru Wuv that Sirena chick anyway? Just...what?

5) Viktor/Ava Burton - Redeemer

ZeldaQueen: *glares* Oh yes, I know of that pairing. Your stupid Underworld Sue. I'll be having words with her. Suffice to say that any Sue that kicks Selene out of her own fandom is getting sporked in all sorts of tender places

6) Sweeney Todd/Victoria Harker - Salvation

ZeldaQueen: Which is pretty much copypasta of Jack and Kate.

Actually, from what I've seen, all of those couples are just the same. Lord!


-------------------------

Yeah, so I was reading an email a friend of mine sent me, and she said that she read my Kingdom Hearts story.

ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah, I know that one! That's the one where a beautiful, allegedly talented and rather vague Sue crams her way into a fandom in unexplained ways and gets it all hot and heavy with the residential psycho! Am I right?

...

.....

.......

ZeldaQueen: Am I supposed to press the A button to continue or something?

She said that my writing style sounded like Stephenie Meyer's.

ZeldaQueen: *snorts drink out of her nose* OH LORD! *nearly dies laughing*

She's a HUGE Twilight fan and I love her to death, really, I do, but STEPHENIE MEYER?

When was this? :confused:

ZeldaQueen: The truth hurts, doesn't it?

She meant it as a compliment, actually, but still....STEPHENIE MEYER? O_O

ZeldaQueen: You know, I have had the idea of trolling Gethesemane by pretending to be a star-struck fan who innocently compares her work to Meyer's as a compliment. I never actually would have done it, but apparently someone else had the same idea. Question is whether or not it was trolling

I'm not insulted by this at all actually; I'm too confused to be insulted.

ZeldaQueen: Because your limited intelligence has put your brain into reboot.

In all seriousness, I could probably slap together an entire chart of similar plots, characters, and quotes from your fics and Meyer's books. I can't be bothered,
but I could
-------------------------

Okay, I'm going to have a moment and rant.

ZeldaQueen: You always rant. It just means that someone dared to contradict you

All of my watchers, and even those who just casually look around my gallery, know that I'm starting a Swooney Todd fic that's based on the movie.

ZeldaQueen: *double take* I honestly don't know if that's a typo or not. Regardless, I'm totally considering the character in her horrible series "Swooney Todd", the wimpy, love-struck twin of the canon Sweeney Todd

People have been messaging me and telling me he's out of character.

ZeldaQueen: Yeah, it doesn't take Sherlock Holmes to see that

NO. SHIT. SHERLOCK.

ZeldaQueen: So...you're up and admitting that you're writing characters out of character, just for your own warped fantasies?

Yes, he's going to be OOC. I have not seen the movie, only the trailer, which is all I have to go on at this moment; I've never seen the play.

ZeldaQueen: Because the internet and clips of the play on YouTube totally don't exist!

Seriously, she just got mad because other people saw that he was very much out of character (and I mean in all adaptations - the penny dreadful, the musical, the movie of the penny dreadful, the Burton movie, all of them) and she was the one who couldn't be arsed ten seconds of research.

Although, on a separate note, I suspect that this is why Swooney randomly spouts those various l lines in the fic. She wrote out snippets of the fic based on what she pieced from the trailer, and didn't bother to modify them later


You will have to wait until December until I can post the whole fic and then you can decide whether or not it's a Sweeney-sue. But until then, if you don't like it, don't read it.

ZeldaQueen: And if you don't want criticism, why post it at all? Why not keep those ideas private until the finished product is ready? Oh wait, mindless praise. Of course

What I'm posting here is scraps of chapters, or possible chapters, that I write as they come to me. This is like a creative outlet, and there will be times when he'll be OOC. That's the beauty of fanfic, folks. You don't have to be afraid to go outside the lines.

ZeldaQueen: Outside the lines? Arguably. Completely reversing and destroying everything that made up Sweeney's character? Nope

And for those who criticize just to do so without any hint of encouragement or constructive criticism, apparently you don't understand the meaning of CREATIVITY.

ZeldaQueen: You know, blatant lies are also technically creativity, and society tends to frown on them

Once again. Don't like, don't read. Plain and simple. Don't flame ME because you don't like MY writing.

ZeldaQueen: And don't bitch at them because you can't bother to do research!
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All right. Well, I think everyone pretty much agrees on the fact that I have a MAJOR obsession with POTO;

ZeldaQueen: Erm, no comment

I've always been in love with it...er, just him, actually...since I was a baby.

ZeldaQueen: ?!?!??? Well, that certainly puts a new spin on Seven Days!

Well, anyway, Erik knew this about me (I don't know if it's the fact that a whole part of my wardrobe is based on the costumes from the play/movies/books, my Phantom dolls, mask replica, blood-red rose with a black silk ribbon on the stem, or what...I have no idea how he knew this without me telling him....).

ZeldaQueen: I honestly hope that was sarcasm, because if not...

And if I was this Erik dude, I'd be a wee bit concerned that my Dearly Beloved was so obsessed with a fictional character


When it came time for the wedding, I was an emotional trainwreck; I'd be crying one minute, totally floating on clouds the next, then I'd go off in my little emo corner.

ZeldaQueen: And then you'd flounce over flames. Oh, wait...

But when I was walking down the aisle, it was difficult to keep myself from crying, and I do mean DIFFICULT. I looked up, and I nearly fainted. Erik stood at the altar, dressed JUST LIKE the Phantom, including the cloak and half-mask, and his outfit looked just like the Red Death outfit, save it was black with silver trim instead of red with gold trim.

ZeldaQueen: Yeah, and Link's Queen totally had numerous lucid dreams about living with Link in Hyrule. Also, why would you be happy that the guy was getting married in a costume called "Red Death"?

And he looked absolutely GORGEOUS. Erik looks just like Gerard Butler anyway, except Erik's an inch taller, his skin's paler, and his hair is jet-black and a little longer.

ZeldaQueen: In other words, he's a version of Gerard Butler that Gethesemane finds more attractive. Also, didn't she say that she really was married to Gerard? Methinks people started to call her out on her bullshit so she switched from "I'm married to Gerard Butler" to "I'm married to a guy who looks uncannily like Gerard Butler"

But during the ceremony he had his hair slicked back, and I swear, if Gerry were there during the wedding, you would've thought the two were twins.

...So...in a nutshell, I married my own Phantom in Notre Dame!

ZeldaQueen: That sounds like the perfect punchline to a joke.

Wait, Notre Dame? You expect me to believe that you were married in the Notre Dame cathedral? Riiiight

-------------------------

ZeldaQueen: And here's our last one, ladies and gentlemen. This one relates directly to Ghosts of the Abyss


I feel bad now. I've screwed Katherine over. :cries:

ZeldaQueen: Yes, the way she has two men swooning over her, clinging to her every word and obeying her every comand, the way the universe revolves around her, she's just so screwed over

This is a SPOILER ALERT, so don't read if you've not been keeping up with my fic. ^^;

Calypso's hated Katherine since she first met her.

ZeldaQueen: Which is why Calypso shows no signs of hating Katherine at all in Heart of the Sea. You know, before Gethesemane knew who Tia Dalma actually was *clears through*

Of course, Calypso's hatred for Katherine grows when she discovers Davy's fallen in love with Katherine. So, to get her revenge, Calypso casts a spell on Katherine and makes her miscarry.

ZeldaQueen: Which is never explained, really

Yes, ladies and gents, Katherine is no longer pregnant. :tears:

ZeldaQueen: Because clearly that's the worst possible thing that can happen to a woman. *rolls eyes* Okay, let's ignore the fact that pirates weren't so soppily sentimental and Kate ought to have been well aware that there were a million health hazards that would complicate or ruin her pregnancy. Why would Calypso go straight to that and stop there? Why not kill Barbosa and bring him back to life only to kill him again and so on and so forth? Why not keep her craw shut and let Barbossa have her released so that she can bide her time until Kate has had the frigging baby and then drown it. Or kidnap it away and keep it as her own prisoner. Or, if it's a boy, wait until said boy grew up and then seduce him away from his beloved mater. Or mutate the kid into a hideous monster like she did Davy Jones. There's a million more things Calypso could have done to have shown how viscious and cruel she is!

I really do feel bad. I've made her do all this stuff:

ZeldaQueen: Oh Christ, cue pity party

nearly get killed while trying to save her husband,

ZeldaQueen: When did she nearly get killed? There never was a point in the story when her life was in danger on her way to World's End or back

having an affair,

ZeldaQueen: Yes, an affair that she had a grand time with and which her husband forgave her for without a second's hesitation! There wasn't a single negative consequence to that!

miscarrying...the story's grown much darker than I had originally anticipated.

ZeldaQueen: Dude, those things are weak! I listed up above a ton of ways you could have written things as being dark and evil and scary! And that was all with about two seconds of thinking!

I'm such a bad authoress... :cries: :cries:

ZeldaQueen: Yes, you're a bad writer, though not in the sense that you're using "bad"

Don't worry, though; Katherine will become pregnant again.

ZeldaQueen: Thank God. I know I was tossing and turning in my bed, wondering "Will Katherine ever be pregnant again". That really helps my peace of mind, thank you

I just don't know when, most likely in the sequel to Ghosts of the Abyss, which I will post soon on ff.net.

ZeldaQueen: *snerk* Yeah, that turned out well

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Quotes From Gethesemane: Part 1


Return to the Sporking Chamber

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 02:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] overlordmikey.livejournal.com
1) Sephiroth/Mai - The Door to Darkness
2) Xemnas (Xehanort)/ Mai - The Door to Darkness

ZeldaQueen: Hmm, I'll let overlordmikey score those ones

Mikey: Oh god; did you have to bring that up well I'm on hiatus*! [sobs] I can't think of a good score below zero.

*fixing up sporks, layout, and such.

~

Yeah, so I was reading an email a friend of mine sent me, and she said that she read my Kingdom Hearts story.

ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah, I know that one! That's the one where a beautiful, allegedly talented and rather vague Sue crams her way into a fandom in unexplained ways and gets it all hot and heavy with the residential psycho! Am I right?

Mikey: [sobs grow louder]

~

Honestly I'm so sick of her "you can't criticize MY work" crap. Real authors accept criticism. I'm sure she's gotten her share of flames, but most of those supposed "mean" flames that she really complains about sound like normal negative reviews and complaints.

I love the way she's always "[gasp] Meyer" when the two are almost identical in personality and writing skill!

And finally the fake "I'm so bad" crap that exists just so her followers can "comfort" her.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 03:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] greenerygripes.livejournal.com
Woooow, this girl's a whiner. And...she seriously wrote a fic based on something she only saw TRAILERS for? Sheesh, if she didn't want to see the play, even a quick reading of the Wikipedia summary might have helped!

Also, how the heck is her story DARK if all the things she CLAIMS make it dark (miscarriage, affairs, near-death experience) are just handwaved away and forgotten or forgiven instantly? Show us some real consequences for these things, then we'll see how dark it is and say "you're so mean to your OC."

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 03:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] detritius.livejournal.com
It's really kind of frightening how delusional this woman is. Some of these just seem like pointless grabs for attention, but the wedding thing is just disturbing. I don't believe for a second that it really happened. Apparently writing Suefic on top of Suefic wasn't enough for Gethesemane, so she had to Sue-ize her own life, too, which is just bizarre to me.

And she's totally in denial over being just like Stephenie Meyer. I swear, the two of them could have been separated at birth for how similar they are.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 04:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yemi-hikari.livejournal.com
The thing about that is, writing style has nothing to do with plot choices. At least, when one is actually a good writer. I say this because of the fact that, since she makes the SAME plot choices, it can be concidered a writing style for her. But the fact that she can only write one thing and isn't WILLING to grow means she should give up until she is willing to grow.

...

None.

...

I have to admit to having a friend very simular to Gethesemane Butler, the main difference being that he is actually polite to talk with both on and off line. It isn't that he isn't very bright either, it is just that it can take some time for things to click with him.

He remained confused as to why people didn't like Twilight until I pointed out articles on why Twilight was badily written and that Bella Swan was a Mary Sue. Things clicked and when he asked, I told him it was all right to still enjoy Twilight, so long as he knew it wasn't best. This is when he stopped writing his Gary Stu too.

That said, my brother happens to have run conversations with this guy simply because he wants to see what random thing our friend will say for a good laugh. So, if Gethesemane has a personality that is simular, I can actually see one of her friends in real life trolling her. However, I also think they need to step up and say something, because as with my friend, sometimes that is what a person needs.

...

One of the rules in fanfiction is to not write fanfiction for fandoms you know sqaut about. End of story.

...

Ahh! Now I know which one was the LoZ writer! They are way to simular. She hasn't been in any fandoms I frequent then, though I do know PotC and Sweenie Todd...

As for what she says. (...) End of story.

...

(...) Again...

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 04:40 am (UTC)
carmyn: (Default)
From: [personal profile] carmyn
I also think they need to step up and say something, because as with my friend, sometimes that is what a person needs.

The problem is Gethsemane though is that she actually doesn't like Twilight, so obviously she sees the issues with it (or at least some of them) yet see doesn't see the parallels in her own writing. I don't know how much more her poor friends can do to wake her up. I think she's just one of those lost causes. C'mon! She's Sueifying her own life! Do you really think anyone could make her see her own mistakes?

I'm glad your friend saw his own mistakes though. Whether it was slow going or not. I commend him.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 04:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] yemi-hikari.livejournal.com
One can hope. Anyways, I am glad he relized his mistakes too. Took two years, but it happened. :D

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 05:50 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kawaiicow.livejournal.com
Hang on; she got married; in Notre Dam;, to a man dressed like Erik from the Phantom of the Opera? (With the same name?)
Ok what?
What?
Notre Dame is a very important cathedral! Not just anyone can get married there! And in cosplay? Even if people could have got married there, what sane bishop would let them do it in cosplay? And has she missed the part where Erik is a complete phycho? All Freudian excuses aside, he creates terrible torture rooms, tries to seduce a woman while posing as her father, and garrotes people who get in his way!

And I love how she tries to ret-con her own life. Fail.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-05 03:34 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zelda-queen.livejournal.com
What makes it even more hilariously pathetic is that I suspect that she only said it was Notre Dame because she's a fan of Victor Hugo. You know, The Hunchback of Notre Dame and all that fun stuff? Might also explain why she says she lives in Paris. I know for fact that she loves Les Miserables. :P

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-23 12:58 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] steerpike13713.livejournal.com
Oh, *god*. If she gets her teeth into Javert... *blanches*

(no subject)

Date: 2012-01-24 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zelda-queen.livejournal.com
Eh, I don't think she will. She's pretty much given up on her fanfiction. Although we might have to worry, given how the musical of Les Miz is getting the movie treatment. I have no idea how she feels about Hugh Jackman and Russel Crowe...

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 09:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] morri-delrae.livejournal.com
According to Notre-Dame's own web site:

"Since the cathedral is no longer a parish, baptisms, marriages and funerals are no longer held there – except for very rare occasions. For your child’s baptism, your wedding, or a funeral, please contact the priests at the parish closest to your home."

(pretending to marry one's wet dream in cosplay is certainly a very special occasion, but I doubt it would get the good priests to be more accommodating)

And... wow, is it just me, or is the Erik guy getting married in Phantomwear just a few notches worse than a woman getting married in a naughty French maid outfit? o_O

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] szaleniec1000.livejournal.com
doesn't talk like it's Talk Like a Pirate Day. I can't write like that.

Then don't write about a pirate in a fandom where pirates talk that way.

Okay, let's ignore the fact that pirates weren't so soppily sentimental

Nor were 17th-century people in general. They couldn't afford to be.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 12:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] emmram.livejournal.com
AHAHAHAHAHAHA - She's so surprised that someone compared her writing to Meyer's! And favourably, too, so she definitely knows it's not trolling! THAT. IS. GOLD. :D

In terms of writing mechanics, I would rate Meyer a little higher than Gethsemane, to be honest. This woman is so goddamn repetitive and manages to make characters as wild and colourful as Captain Jack Sparrow bland. That's a few steps below creating your own bland and two-dimensional characters.

I have not seen the movie, only the trailer, which is all I have to go on at this moment; I've never seen the play.

... *stares* Are you serious. I dare to write fanfic for any show only after having seen every episode available at that point, get myself familiar with details and nuances I might've missed while watching, read the fics on the rec lists for that fandom for months, write and scratch out half a dozen first attempts, and even then I'm deadly nervous about making it public. And you wrote fanfic on something after only having seen the TRAILER?!

Oh, right. It's Johnny Depp. Right, okay. Moving on.

The wedding bit just made me laugh. Are people actually buying this? I can't imagine why else she'd keep these delusions going.

(no subject)

Date: 2011-06-02 08:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] southerngaelic.livejournal.com
Notre Dame? Seriously?

I would laugh if I wasn't so...full of disgust at her online behaviour. She IS Stephenie Meyer's long-lost twin: the delusions of grandeur, the insistence of playing in her imaginary world, making her 'husband' (if he IS real) indulge her fetishes, the whining about people not liking her work....

It's so sad -_-

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