zelda_queen | Twilight Graphic Novel: Part 3

ZeldaQueen: In which the plot continues to be bogus.

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

Part 3

ZeldaQueen: So when we last left off, Edward was being a creepy mo'fo

So it's the next day, and Bella is all excited to go to school and see Edward. She acknowledges that it's stupid to feel that way, and thus she continues to do it. Logic? What's that?

ZeldaQueen: As someone who's a nervous wreck when driving even in the safest of conditions, I admit that I smiled at Bella's "The road is icy...The road is icy".

Anyway, time for the Van of Dooooooom!

ZeldaQueen: Two things here.

The first is that those two panels are fantastic examples of using actual character thoughts and actions to get across the book's plot, instead of just narrating everything. I think the flow would be a lot better if stuff like that was used more often.

The second is that this makes the car crash slightly more believable, since Bella now has her back to the parking lot and is more likely to be taken by surprise, than staring from the out-of-control car to Edward and back like a dumbass.

ZeldaQueen: This...is supposed to be the car crash. That's got to be one of the most confusing scenes in this thing. I guess the idea is to give a sense of how sudden and confusing it all is, but if I hadn't read the book, I'd have no clue what's going on. I'd be more likely to think that Bella was being attacked by a rabid squirrel or something.

Well, whatever. Time for Edward to save the day! Look, he's so shocked, he's even changed his expression! Everyone, note this occasion on the calendar.

ZeldaQueen: ...Apparently Edward went under the truck like a New York Tiger sliding into third and bent up the bottom? That's honestly how it looks. I can't believe someone wouldn't notice those dents.

ZeldaQueen: And now more confusion. In the previous panel, it looked like Edward was tipping the front of the truck up, so it didn't hit Bella. Makes sense (sort of), but the truck in this panel looks like it's sitting even! What is it with physics not working in accordance to this scene?

Well, whatever. Time for Edward to start being a condescending douche and order Bella to the hospital.

Bella starts up asking Edward how he got there so fast. Personally, I'd wonder how he got under the car from the other side, but that's just me. He keeps insisting that he was right next to her, which is even more stupid than in the books because dude, she just got out of her car! Now if this was written by a better author, going by the expressions, I might chalk it up to him trying to slip Bella a hint to shut up about it until he can explain things better. I forget about the idiocy of this argument though, when this last panel comes in.

ZeldaQueen: OH DEAR GOD BELLA RUN RUN RUN HE'S GOING TO KILL YOU!!!

I'm sorry but WHAT IS THAT?!? Is he supposed to be dazzling her? Because there is no way that someone looking like that could ever get me to do something! I'd be running the other way, concussion or not!

And no, dear viewers, that white space at the bottom of the panel wasn't me cutting and pasting badly. That's in the graphic novel. For some reason, Young Kim thought it would be a great idea to cut off Edward's lower jaw, making him look even creepier than usual, and putting some pointless white space in its place

Just...*shivers*

Right, so, jump to the hospital, where Tyler is desperately calling to Bella how sorry he is. Bella actually is less of a bitch here, because she doesn't pretend to be asleep and actually asks Tyler if he's alright. Tyler asks how Edward got to her so fast, which leads to her realizing that she was right, Edward was Speedy Gonzales. Or something And then, enter Carlisle, stage left!

ZeldaQueen: Well Carlisle, judging by the pretty lights she's seeing behind you, I'd say she hit her head harder than you think. And am I the only one getting red oni-blue oni love vibes from those two?

Bella is dazzled by that light display, and once again brings up Edward being there to save the day. And DAMMIT, that stupid narration is back, this time holding our hands about how OH LOOK, CARLISLE IS CLEARLY IN ON IT!!!

Bella asks Edward for a word in private and demands the truth from him, pointing out how they both should have been human pudding from the collision. Edward tells her that no one will believe her if she says anything (a very good point), and I'm very disturbed because Edward has gone back to looking like some bizarro zombie thing. I mean really, is he just that lazy to open his eyes the whole way or give a smile that isn't from a slasher movie?

ZeldaQueen: I'd like to think that Bella's actually shielding her eyes from that ridiculous dazzling display. And again, what's with the expressionless look on Edward's face. That doesn't bring stoicism to mind, it brings Jason Stryker, from X2.

So yeah, the conversation really jumps around. First Edward asks why Bella cares what happened if she won't tell, then she says how she hates lying (HA), then she thanks him for saving her, and then Edward says she'll have to live with the disappointment of not knowing how things worked out.

ZeldaQueen: Regarding the first panel, as you can probably tell, this is the theme for Edward. He gets all of those weird sparklies. It doesn't make him appealing, it makes him look like a douche who's sparkling.

Regarding the second and third panels, am I the only one who thinks Bella's having some fever-dream? Although I do appreciate Young Kim drawing in Charlie checking in on her.

ZeldaQueen: I know that it's symbolik of how elusive he is or whatnot? But that dream also doesn't make the guy seem very appealing. It just makes him look more like an asshole, because he's smirking and wandering off while Bella is panicked and screaming for him

ZeldaQueen: Seriously, after I have dreams about guys I have crushes on, I'm usually happy. Why does she look so miserable?

So Bella goes back to school and is annoyed that she's the center of attention. Of course. And OH GAG ME, we get the scene where Mike tells Bella that Jessica asked him to the school dance, but he didn't give an answer because he was hoping Bella would go ask him.

I'm sorry, but that is stupid. There was nothing in the novel that suggested that Bella was interested in Mike or was even particularly attractive or charismatic or interesting or fun enough to make a jump like that! This graphic novel has even less, because it only feels like Bella's been in school for a few days, rather than the few months in the novel. So going off of that, it gives the impression that Mike would brush off a girl who he has known for years and years for some chick who's shown up and has had very little interaction with him, most of it via a pained facade of enjoyment. Plus...

ZeldaQueen: TELL ME THIS ISN'T RIGHT OUT OF A DATING SIM! GO ON!

ZeldaQueen: *COUGH*

So yeah, Bella continues to be pissy about Edward and he continues to be a dick to her. And then we jump to One Fine Morning, as Bella heads to school.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, I know she somehow dropped her car eyes. Am I the only one who sees it like her keys somehow teleported two feet away from her person and shot to the ground as if they were magnetized?

But yeah, who should come and pick those mysteriously-teleporting, magnetic keys but...

ZeldaQueen: I love the expressions on both of their faces. Bella has this exhausted "Oh God, not him again!" look and Edward has this seductive "come hither" contemplative expression. Actually, given that he seems to be looking at the car keys, I get the impression that he's trying to decide just how to use them as a sex toy.

Onward to: Part 4

Back to: Part 2

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