Earl Harry James Potter: Chapter 1
Oct. 12th, 2010 08:49 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Hello thar folks! Still chiseling away at Child of Grace, but then I found this POS and just had to jump in on it. I have no idea what the suethor was going for with it, but she seems to be serious so away we go!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 1
When Vernon Dursley came to collect his freak of a nephew to bring him back to his perfectly normal house from King's Cross where his nephew was returning from attending his fifth year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardy.
ZeldaQueen: ... I see the suethor is determined to break me quite early with this. And when Vernon Dursley came to get Harry, what? What happened then?
Harry asks his Uncle Vernon when placing his trunk and owl cage into the car "Uncle Vernon, I am wondering if you could possible drop me off at Charing Cross Road in London?"
ZeldaQueen: Oh. You put your period in the wrong place, dear. And what's up with the wonky tenses? The first sentence was past tense, this one is present tense, and Harry is using present tense for some weird reason. Is he not a native English speaker or something?
Oh, and where the hell is Charing Cross Road and why does Harry want to go there? You going to explain that one?
Vernon says to Harry while thinking "Boy, if I am to waste my precious time taking you to where you want to be drop off I would not be returning to get you."
ZeldaQueen: Wait, is he saying that sentence or thinking it? Or is he doing both?
Harry tells his Uncle Vernon without a second thought "If you drop me off at Charing Cross Road I will not be returning to Privet Drive at all this summer even if I was force to."
ZeldaQueend: Forced to! Even if he was forced to! And wasn't this the first year he learned about the blood protection? So why would he start refusing now to go back to Privet Drive? And why the hell am still expecting logic in this story?
Vernon says to Harry happily "Sure" and goes as fast as he can without going over the speed limit to get to Charing Cross Road.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, I'm guessing this was written by the chick who did legolas by laura.
Once they arrive Vernon kicks Harry out of the car and throws him his trunk along with Hedwig's cage. With that Vernon speeds off, while Harry enters into the Leaky Cauldron.
ZeldaQueen: Oh. That's where it is.
The barman at the Leaky Cauldron Tom asks Harry "Mr. Potter, how can I help you today?"
ZeldaQueen: I guess Tom's full name is "the barman at the Leaky Cauldron Tom". Or is that his title? He was the former barman at the Leaky Cauldron formerly known as Tom?
Harry tells Tom politely "I will like a room."
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "With no commas, preferably."
Tom goes to grab the key for room 11 and hand them to Harry "You will be staying in room 11 and I will bring your trunk along with your owl up to your room."
ZeldaQueen: (Suethor) "Watch as I crib from the third book, whilst removing all forms of tense consistency and punctuation!"
Harry asks Tom "Is it possible for you to perform the glamour my appearance?"
ZeldaQueen: Dude, this is the Leaky Cauldron, not Macy's.
Tom tells Harry "Of course but what colour hair and eye colour do you want?"
ZeldaQueen: Nor is this GaiaOnline.
Harry says politely to Tom "Dark brown hair and hazel eyes."
ZeldaQueen: Erm, yeah. Because that's so much different than his black hair and green eyes. Why would he want his appearance changed, anyway? He looked like his parents, who he constantly missed!
Tom then points his wand at Harry and says "Glamour Vultus dark brown hair and Glamour Vultus hazel eyes."
ZeldaQueen: I really don't think it works like that.
With Harry being in disguise, he heads towards Gringotts Wizarding Bank, Harry waits in line to be severed.
ZeldaQueen: "Severed"? HA! What's getting severed, his arm or his head?
Once Harry reaches the goblin teller, the goblin named Griphock who severed him on his first visit to the bank.
ZeldaQueen: This is as hilarious as when Jenna "marred" Link!
Actually, it makes sense. Harry was first served by Griphook. I guess he also had some unnamed body part severed by this goblin named Griphock and Rowling never wrote about it.
Griphock asks Harry rudely "What can I help you with today?"
ZeldaQueen: Okay, goblins weren't outright rude to their customers. They were unpleasant and condescending, yes, but not rude.
Harry says to Griphock politely "I will like to meet with a account manger that deals with the Potter family."
ZeldaQueen: And this desire was brought on...why?
Now see, that's one of the biggest problems with these Mary Sue, out of character Harry Potter fics. The suethors have the characters act in grossly different ways or want to do weird stuff, but never explain why.
And "account manager"? It's locked in a cave underground!
Griphock again rudely asks "Blood for identification first then I will take you to see Gornuk." With the prove of Harry's identity been proven, Harry quickly follows Griphock down to Gornuk's office.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, doesn't Griphock also want Harry to pee in a cup for him?
Gornuk asks his client questionably "What can I do for you today Mr. Potter?"
ZeldaQueen: Well, I would hope one would ask something "questionably".
Harry asks Gornuk " I have a few questions: should I be receiving statements concerning by vault and does either my parents or godfather have a will?"
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "And why do I suddenly care about these things when Voldemort's on the loose and I have to train to defeat him?"
Gornuk states the answers to Harry's questions "You should have receive statements since you were eleven. Your godfather Sirius Black last will & testament will be read tomorrow morning. However, someone had block the reading of your parents will."
ZeldaQueen: *bored* Gee, let me guess...
Harry then asks Gornuk "Is it possible to hear my parent's will and get a copy of those bank statements?"
Gornuk replies "Of course, but your parents last will and testament will come first."
ZeldaQueen: OH MY LORD, WHAT IS IT WITH FANFICTION WRITERS USING HARRY POTTER AS A VEHICLE TO WRITE ABOUT COMPLETELY BORING SHIT?
Gornuk brings out globe recording of the last will & testament of James and Lily Potter.
ZeldaQueen: So...they did a video will?
Both James and Lily astro-projection selfs appear in the room.
ZeldaQueen: Great. At least we don't get a stupid summoning ritual this time.
James stated "This is the true last will & testament of myself Earl James Harold Potter and his wife Countess Lily Marie Potter our heart, mind and soul last updated on October 31st of 1981."
ZeldaQueen: *raises eyebrows* "Earl"? "Countess"? Are you going to explain that at all?
Lily states "To our mentor, friend, and leader: Lord Albus Dumbledore will receive 3,000 galleons to continue in the fight for the greater good."
ZeldaQueen: Even though, you know, both were born to regular families and shouldn't have elaborate titles? Hello? Explanations?
James states "To one of my best friends, fellow Marauder, and secret keeper: Peter Pettigrew if you have not betrayed us you will receive 5,000 galleons."
ZeldaQueen: Why would James suspect Peter would betray them? That was kind of the reason no one caught on faster that Peter was the one who did it - he didn't seem the kind.
And am I the only one who is reminded of the line from Futurama, "and to my loving nephew Bender, assuming he's not the cause of my demise..."?
Lily states "To our teacher and friend: Minvera McGonagall will receive 3,000 galleons and in addition you will be given enough money to buy the Gryffindor Quidditch Team new brooms."
ZeldaQueen: I don't think Minerva McGonagall even taught at Hogwarts when Lily and James went there. And there was never any teacher named "Minvera"
James states "To one of my best friends and fellow Marauder: Remus Lupin will receive 10,000 galleons but some of that money must be used to buy in clothes and the cottage in Bristol, England."
ZeldaQueen: Because clearly Lupin is too stupid to buy his own clothes and home!
Lily states "To my best friend and her husband: Earl Frank Longbottom & Countess Alice Longbottom will receive our villa in Salt Lake City, Utah, United States of America since we know your love for skiing."
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me suethor, why the fuck do the Potters have a villa in Salt Lake City? Were they secretly Mormons? And why do the Longbottoms also have royal titles? Hello?
James states "To one of my best friends, fellow Marauder, and brother in all expect for blood: Sirius Black will receive 6,000 galleons and my copy of the Marauder Map as well as the journal of the Marauder pranks."
ZeldaQueen: Is the entire rest of this fic just going to be a laundry list?
Lily states "To our only child and son the heir of the Potter family: Harry Potter we leave you remaining of the Potter estate and the title of Earl Harry James Potter that he will inherit at the earliest is fifteen. Remember that we will always love you."
ZeldaQueen: How convenient! They leave Harry to inherit his nonexistent estate and title at fifteen and he just happens to find their will when he's fifteen! What are the odds?
James states "Custody of our son Harry Potter will be given to anyone on this list: Sirius Black (godfather), Frank & Alice Longbottom (godmother),
ZeldaQueen: Why would Alice Longbottom be his godmother?
Ted & Andromeda Tonks (family friends), or Amelia Bones (family friend).
ZeldaQueen: And since when were the Tonks family or Amelia Bones family friends? This isn't going to be one of those Harry Potter fanfictions where the suethor just uses any canon character to fill roles, for the hell of it, is it?
The guardian will be given 500 galleons a month for the care of Harry Potter until he starts Hogwarts when they will only receive 200 galleons for the summer months."
With that both the astro-projection of James and Lily Potter disappeared.
ZeldaQueen: And with them went the boring laundry lists, thank God!
Gornuk then hands Harry a copy of the transactions of his account.
ZeldaQueen: (Gornuk) "Good heavens, look at how much you spent on casinos and prostitutes!"
[The following footage has been removed for viewer safety, as it reaches boredom levels of dangerous amounts and is a threat to one's sanity. All that one needs to know is thusly: over the course of sixteen transactions, Dumbledore withdrew sixty thousand and eight hundred galleons from Harry's vault. Over the course of five transactions, Molly Weasley withdrew nine hundred galleons. Over the course of six transactions, Ron Weasley withdrew one thousand and three hundred galleons. Over the course of two transactions, Ginny Weasley withdrew five hundred galleons. Finally, Snape had one transaction, during which point he took four hundred galleons. We are never told how these people managed this without Harry's knowledge or consent, especially when one considers that we just saw that Harry's blood was needed for verification. Nor are we ever told why the Weasley family would be the slightest bit inclined to dip into Harry's money, when he constantly offers to pay for things for them in canon and they refuse. We are, however, treated to all of the above in a perfect list, complete with the dates in which every single transaction occurs, as well as with Harry's transactions mixed in. No, we have no idea why the suethor thought it was so important to put so much energy into such a list, which as of now has served scant purpose to the plot.]
Harry asks Gornuk calmly as possible "Is there any way to get that money back and put a block so I could only get money?"
ZeldaQueen: Apparently this is the wizarding equivalent of giving one's bank account number to an exiled Nigerian prince.
Gornuk says to Harry happily as a goblin could get "Of course only with your direct permission."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, just like someone could only get into Harry's vault with his direct permission...oh wait...
Harry states out loud "I Earl Harry James Potter give permission to Gornuk to seal off my account to everyone expect for myself and to get the stolen money return."
ZeldaQueen: And he's already using that stupid title. Lord preserve my pickled corpse.
Gornuk says to Harry "After your godfather's will is read, I have arrange for you to take part in the Inheritance Test."
ZeldaQueen: (Gornuk) "You just have to read the entire Inheritance Trilogy without going stark raving nuts or falling asleep. Quite frankly, anyone who can accomplish that deserves whatever they were willed"
Harry then asks Gornuk "Do you have something like a muggle credit card?"
ZeldaQueen: A MUGGLE CREDIT CARD?!?!
Gornuk says to Harry "It will cost you 100 galleons fee but it will work like a muggle credit card both in the muggle world and our world."
Harry says to Gornuk "No problem."
ZeldaQueen: What's in your wallet?
With Harry's new unlimited credit card, he returns to the muggle world to go shopping for clothes that actually fit.
ZeldaQueen: Um, didn't he say it was just like a Muggle credit card? There are no "unlimited" credit cards for Muggles. And didn't he have clothes that fit before now?
AN: PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT OF THIS TITLES SOUND BETTER:
ZeldaQueen: Oh, you have got to be shitting me? Really suethor? You couldn't be bothered to come up with a title for this thing before you started posting it?
- EARL HARRY JAMES POTTER
ZeldaQueen: Makes it sound like "earl" is his first name
- NOBLE POTTER
ZeldaQueen: How about a version of Harry Potter without any nobility references? 'Cause there weren't any in the books!
- HARRY POTTER & THE TRUTH
ZeldaQueen: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
- YOUR SUGGESTION OF A TITLE
ZeldaQueen: Huh, I guess I'd read a fanfic titled "Your Suggestion of a Title"
Onward to: Chapter 2
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 1
When Vernon Dursley came to collect his freak of a nephew to bring him back to his perfectly normal house from King's Cross where his nephew was returning from attending his fifth year at the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardy.
ZeldaQueen: ... I see the suethor is determined to break me quite early with this. And when Vernon Dursley came to get Harry, what? What happened then?
Harry asks his Uncle Vernon when placing his trunk and owl cage into the car "Uncle Vernon, I am wondering if you could possible drop me off at Charing Cross Road in London?"
ZeldaQueen: Oh. You put your period in the wrong place, dear. And what's up with the wonky tenses? The first sentence was past tense, this one is present tense, and Harry is using present tense for some weird reason. Is he not a native English speaker or something?
Oh, and where the hell is Charing Cross Road and why does Harry want to go there? You going to explain that one?
Vernon says to Harry while thinking "Boy, if I am to waste my precious time taking you to where you want to be drop off I would not be returning to get you."
ZeldaQueen: Wait, is he saying that sentence or thinking it? Or is he doing both?
Harry tells his Uncle Vernon without a second thought "If you drop me off at Charing Cross Road I will not be returning to Privet Drive at all this summer even if I was force to."
ZeldaQueend: Forced to! Even if he was forced to! And wasn't this the first year he learned about the blood protection? So why would he start refusing now to go back to Privet Drive? And why the hell am still expecting logic in this story?
Vernon says to Harry happily "Sure" and goes as fast as he can without going over the speed limit to get to Charing Cross Road.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, I'm guessing this was written by the chick who did legolas by laura.
Once they arrive Vernon kicks Harry out of the car and throws him his trunk along with Hedwig's cage. With that Vernon speeds off, while Harry enters into the Leaky Cauldron.
ZeldaQueen: Oh. That's where it is.
The barman at the Leaky Cauldron Tom asks Harry "Mr. Potter, how can I help you today?"
ZeldaQueen: I guess Tom's full name is "the barman at the Leaky Cauldron Tom". Or is that his title? He was the former barman at the Leaky Cauldron formerly known as Tom?
Harry tells Tom politely "I will like a room."
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "With no commas, preferably."
Tom goes to grab the key for room 11 and hand them to Harry "You will be staying in room 11 and I will bring your trunk along with your owl up to your room."
ZeldaQueen: (Suethor) "Watch as I crib from the third book, whilst removing all forms of tense consistency and punctuation!"
Harry asks Tom "Is it possible for you to perform the glamour my appearance?"
ZeldaQueen: Dude, this is the Leaky Cauldron, not Macy's.
Tom tells Harry "Of course but what colour hair and eye colour do you want?"
ZeldaQueen: Nor is this GaiaOnline.
Harry says politely to Tom "Dark brown hair and hazel eyes."
ZeldaQueen: Erm, yeah. Because that's so much different than his black hair and green eyes. Why would he want his appearance changed, anyway? He looked like his parents, who he constantly missed!
Tom then points his wand at Harry and says "Glamour Vultus dark brown hair and Glamour Vultus hazel eyes."
ZeldaQueen: I really don't think it works like that.
With Harry being in disguise, he heads towards Gringotts Wizarding Bank, Harry waits in line to be severed.
ZeldaQueen: "Severed"? HA! What's getting severed, his arm or his head?
Once Harry reaches the goblin teller, the goblin named Griphock who severed him on his first visit to the bank.
ZeldaQueen: This is as hilarious as when Jenna "marred" Link!
Actually, it makes sense. Harry was first served by Griphook. I guess he also had some unnamed body part severed by this goblin named Griphock and Rowling never wrote about it.
Griphock asks Harry rudely "What can I help you with today?"
ZeldaQueen: Okay, goblins weren't outright rude to their customers. They were unpleasant and condescending, yes, but not rude.
Harry says to Griphock politely "I will like to meet with a account manger that deals with the Potter family."
ZeldaQueen: And this desire was brought on...why?
Now see, that's one of the biggest problems with these Mary Sue, out of character Harry Potter fics. The suethors have the characters act in grossly different ways or want to do weird stuff, but never explain why.
And "account manager"? It's locked in a cave underground!
Griphock again rudely asks "Blood for identification first then I will take you to see Gornuk." With the prove of Harry's identity been proven, Harry quickly follows Griphock down to Gornuk's office.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, doesn't Griphock also want Harry to pee in a cup for him?
Gornuk asks his client questionably "What can I do for you today Mr. Potter?"
ZeldaQueen: Well, I would hope one would ask something "questionably".
Harry asks Gornuk " I have a few questions: should I be receiving statements concerning by vault and does either my parents or godfather have a will?"
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "And why do I suddenly care about these things when Voldemort's on the loose and I have to train to defeat him?"
Gornuk states the answers to Harry's questions "You should have receive statements since you were eleven. Your godfather Sirius Black last will & testament will be read tomorrow morning. However, someone had block the reading of your parents will."
ZeldaQueen: *bored* Gee, let me guess...
Harry then asks Gornuk "Is it possible to hear my parent's will and get a copy of those bank statements?"
Gornuk replies "Of course, but your parents last will and testament will come first."
ZeldaQueen: OH MY LORD, WHAT IS IT WITH FANFICTION WRITERS USING HARRY POTTER AS A VEHICLE TO WRITE ABOUT COMPLETELY BORING SHIT?
Gornuk brings out globe recording of the last will & testament of James and Lily Potter.
ZeldaQueen: So...they did a video will?
Both James and Lily astro-projection selfs appear in the room.
ZeldaQueen: Great. At least we don't get a stupid summoning ritual this time.
James stated "This is the true last will & testament of myself Earl James Harold Potter and his wife Countess Lily Marie Potter our heart, mind and soul last updated on October 31st of 1981."
ZeldaQueen: *raises eyebrows* "Earl"? "Countess"? Are you going to explain that at all?
Lily states "To our mentor, friend, and leader: Lord Albus Dumbledore will receive 3,000 galleons to continue in the fight for the greater good."
ZeldaQueen: Even though, you know, both were born to regular families and shouldn't have elaborate titles? Hello? Explanations?
James states "To one of my best friends, fellow Marauder, and secret keeper: Peter Pettigrew if you have not betrayed us you will receive 5,000 galleons."
ZeldaQueen: Why would James suspect Peter would betray them? That was kind of the reason no one caught on faster that Peter was the one who did it - he didn't seem the kind.
And am I the only one who is reminded of the line from Futurama, "and to my loving nephew Bender, assuming he's not the cause of my demise..."?
Lily states "To our teacher and friend: Minvera McGonagall will receive 3,000 galleons and in addition you will be given enough money to buy the Gryffindor Quidditch Team new brooms."
ZeldaQueen: I don't think Minerva McGonagall even taught at Hogwarts when Lily and James went there. And there was never any teacher named "Minvera"
James states "To one of my best friends and fellow Marauder: Remus Lupin will receive 10,000 galleons but some of that money must be used to buy in clothes and the cottage in Bristol, England."
ZeldaQueen: Because clearly Lupin is too stupid to buy his own clothes and home!
Lily states "To my best friend and her husband: Earl Frank Longbottom & Countess Alice Longbottom will receive our villa in Salt Lake City, Utah, United States of America since we know your love for skiing."
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me suethor, why the fuck do the Potters have a villa in Salt Lake City? Were they secretly Mormons? And why do the Longbottoms also have royal titles? Hello?
James states "To one of my best friends, fellow Marauder, and brother in all expect for blood: Sirius Black will receive 6,000 galleons and my copy of the Marauder Map as well as the journal of the Marauder pranks."
ZeldaQueen: Is the entire rest of this fic just going to be a laundry list?
Lily states "To our only child and son the heir of the Potter family: Harry Potter we leave you remaining of the Potter estate and the title of Earl Harry James Potter that he will inherit at the earliest is fifteen. Remember that we will always love you."
ZeldaQueen: How convenient! They leave Harry to inherit his nonexistent estate and title at fifteen and he just happens to find their will when he's fifteen! What are the odds?
James states "Custody of our son Harry Potter will be given to anyone on this list: Sirius Black (godfather), Frank & Alice Longbottom (godmother),
ZeldaQueen: Why would Alice Longbottom be his godmother?
Ted & Andromeda Tonks (family friends), or Amelia Bones (family friend).
ZeldaQueen: And since when were the Tonks family or Amelia Bones family friends? This isn't going to be one of those Harry Potter fanfictions where the suethor just uses any canon character to fill roles, for the hell of it, is it?
The guardian will be given 500 galleons a month for the care of Harry Potter until he starts Hogwarts when they will only receive 200 galleons for the summer months."
With that both the astro-projection of James and Lily Potter disappeared.
ZeldaQueen: And with them went the boring laundry lists, thank God!
Gornuk then hands Harry a copy of the transactions of his account.
ZeldaQueen: (Gornuk) "Good heavens, look at how much you spent on casinos and prostitutes!"
[The following footage has been removed for viewer safety, as it reaches boredom levels of dangerous amounts and is a threat to one's sanity. All that one needs to know is thusly: over the course of sixteen transactions, Dumbledore withdrew sixty thousand and eight hundred galleons from Harry's vault. Over the course of five transactions, Molly Weasley withdrew nine hundred galleons. Over the course of six transactions, Ron Weasley withdrew one thousand and three hundred galleons. Over the course of two transactions, Ginny Weasley withdrew five hundred galleons. Finally, Snape had one transaction, during which point he took four hundred galleons. We are never told how these people managed this without Harry's knowledge or consent, especially when one considers that we just saw that Harry's blood was needed for verification. Nor are we ever told why the Weasley family would be the slightest bit inclined to dip into Harry's money, when he constantly offers to pay for things for them in canon and they refuse. We are, however, treated to all of the above in a perfect list, complete with the dates in which every single transaction occurs, as well as with Harry's transactions mixed in. No, we have no idea why the suethor thought it was so important to put so much energy into such a list, which as of now has served scant purpose to the plot.]
Harry asks Gornuk calmly as possible "Is there any way to get that money back and put a block so I could only get money?"
ZeldaQueen: Apparently this is the wizarding equivalent of giving one's bank account number to an exiled Nigerian prince.
Gornuk says to Harry happily as a goblin could get "Of course only with your direct permission."
ZeldaQueen: Yes, just like someone could only get into Harry's vault with his direct permission...oh wait...
Harry states out loud "I Earl Harry James Potter give permission to Gornuk to seal off my account to everyone expect for myself and to get the stolen money return."
ZeldaQueen: And he's already using that stupid title. Lord preserve my pickled corpse.
Gornuk says to Harry "After your godfather's will is read, I have arrange for you to take part in the Inheritance Test."
ZeldaQueen: (Gornuk) "You just have to read the entire Inheritance Trilogy without going stark raving nuts or falling asleep. Quite frankly, anyone who can accomplish that deserves whatever they were willed"
Harry then asks Gornuk "Do you have something like a muggle credit card?"
ZeldaQueen: A MUGGLE CREDIT CARD?!?!
Gornuk says to Harry "It will cost you 100 galleons fee but it will work like a muggle credit card both in the muggle world and our world."
Harry says to Gornuk "No problem."
ZeldaQueen: What's in your wallet?
With Harry's new unlimited credit card, he returns to the muggle world to go shopping for clothes that actually fit.
ZeldaQueen: Um, didn't he say it was just like a Muggle credit card? There are no "unlimited" credit cards for Muggles. And didn't he have clothes that fit before now?
AN: PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL ME WHAT OF THIS TITLES SOUND BETTER:
ZeldaQueen: Oh, you have got to be shitting me? Really suethor? You couldn't be bothered to come up with a title for this thing before you started posting it?
- EARL HARRY JAMES POTTER
ZeldaQueen: Makes it sound like "earl" is his first name
- NOBLE POTTER
ZeldaQueen: How about a version of Harry Potter without any nobility references? 'Cause there weren't any in the books!
- HARRY POTTER & THE TRUTH
ZeldaQueen: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
- YOUR SUGGESTION OF A TITLE
ZeldaQueen: Huh, I guess I'd read a fanfic titled "Your Suggestion of a Title"
Onward to: Chapter 2
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Looking forward to this.
Date: 2010-10-13 01:06 am (UTC)-James and Lilly's "Astral Will" or whatever was last updated on the 31st of October? ...So, the day of their deaths? I was under the impression that Voldemort's attack came suddenly and they had no idea he was coming, otherwise they would have left if they knew their protection had failed. Because it was updated on that day, it gives the impression that they knew they were going to die at that point, which doesn't make sense if you're going to hide and have a charm concealing your location. That, or it's a coincidence, but it just doesn't sit right with me.
-Weasley Bashing a plenty then? For me that tends to be a sign of a bad fanfiction. The Weasleys always have it so tough. :(
Really looking forward to the rest of the sporking though. :D
Re: Looking forward to this.
Date: 2010-10-13 02:04 am (UTC)Oh, just you wait. XD It really gets good.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-13 04:56 pm (UTC)... Or the work of somebody whose first language is not English, and is just starting to learn the ropes. THAT would make me uncomfortable as English isn't my first language either, and I pretty much started out rough too (although not this bad, I have to admit).
But really, looking at some of the sentence construction... yeah, I'm starting to lean toward the latter.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-13 11:31 pm (UTC)Oh, just you wait until later. ^^ That's when we meet our mary sue, Isabelle Monearu-Black.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-18 03:54 am (UTC)(no subject)
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Date: 2011-01-15 04:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-25 11:26 pm (UTC)You are a true hero to read this. I hope you will recover soon.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-01-25 11:49 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-09 06:51 pm (UTC)I read Brisingr in one sitting :S, is that alright or not good enough?
Seriously, this bit made me laugh
I don't understand the Glamour Charm crap, I mean if Harry wants to disguise himself THERE IS A CANON METHOD CALLED POLYJUICE POTION! Use the hair of some random Muggle (or being as he was in the car with Vernon earlier in the fic) use Vernon Dursley as a disguise or something.
Not to mention the prose in this thing is awful. Oh and Harry would never use a title to big himself up that's more of a Draco Malfoy thing.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-10 04:36 am (UTC)Good enough! I only got a few chapters into Eragon before I feel asleep. >_< Considering how much I love fantasy and dragons and magic and the like, that's...quite something.
No, you see Polyjuice Potion takes *effort* and is *painful* and has *consequences* and the Suethor can't be bothered with those silly things.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-13 06:38 pm (UTC)On that note, Gringotts wouldn't give you a muggle credit card. That would be beneath them. Not to mention creating a paper trail to the wizarding world isn't a bright idea.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-17 05:11 pm (UTC)That kind of reminds me of a Sonichu special where Chris didn't drive above the maximum speed limit... on his way to horribly maim somebody.