The Legend Of Rah And The Muggles: Author Talk

[zelda_queen]

Raxis: Hey peeps, Queeny and I are back to spork Stouffer's pity-party FAQ!

ZeldaQueen: Indeed, we are! :D Technically, Stouffer referrs to this on her website as an "interview". She fails to say who she was being interviewed by though, so for all intents and purposes, it's an FAQ. Nothing starts off the new year like a look into the mind of a delusional Suethor, so let's have at it!

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

---

Author Talk

HAS YOUR LIFE BEEN THREATENED?

ZeldaQueen: What the hell kind of a question is THAT to start an FAQ off with?

Yes

Raxis:

I have received several threats to my life. The F. B. I. has been notified

Raxis: About time the F.B.I were told about you.

ZeldaQueen: As a note right now, ladies and gentlemen, all emphasis are from Stouffer. We have changed nothing. So yes, she will be randomly italicizing and bolding stuff

I have also had a number of  profane e-mails from avid HP fans, using terminology claimed from JKR’s books.

Raxis: (Stouffer): "They said Expelliarmus! D:"

ZeldaQueen: Ridiculus Lawsuiticus!

It makes me wonder what they have gained from reading Ms. Rowling’s work.

ZeldaQueen: Ohhh we'll be getting to your views on that in a few questions, Ms Stouffer. For right now, kindly lay off the wounded gazelle gambit. I'm not commenting on what exactly happened with those death threats, but there are plenty of people who are stupid enough on their own to do something like that. I highly doubt reading Harry Potter would tip someone over the edge

Raxis: Are you kidding? Rowling clearly ruined poor Stouffer's life.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, because Stouffer clearly was so popular and revered in the literary world before this lawsuit took place

I don’t believe I could ever be proud of the fact that my work was  encouraging young readers to feel that it’s okay to attack anyone, the way they have violated me.

ZeldaQueen: Funny, I'm sure Rowling wouldn't be proud of that fact either. And "violated" you? Dear lord, spare me!

Raxis: Apparently her moral in life is to do absolutely nothing when those in need are spiralling into depression.

Especially, because I’m the victim in this case, not Ms. Rowling

Raxis: Yeah, Rowling's loving all the silly lawsuits you've given her.

ZeldaQueen: And the fraudulant evidence you've submitted. Don't forget that!

Even more disconcerting, is the fact that they are certainly aware of the substance of some of the chat room conversations and their fans’ intent, and have taken no action to discourage this profane and life-threatening behavior.

ZeldaQueen: Oh no! An author, unable to control the online behavior of a very large fanbase? UNHEARD OF

Raxis: Look Stouffer; you brought it on yourself. If you hadn't made such a big fuss about your lawsuits, nobody would have bothered you.

ZeldaQueen: Not to mention that in the grown-up world of publishing, Rowling probably is trying to keep this thing quiet. (Or, you know, she was when it was going on). That's the reason Meyer doesn't rant about Fifty Shades of Grey! It's a can of worms that just should be left alone!

And, in the absence of any corrective action on their part, are in fact encouraging it. I have to ask parents---is this really what we want for our children?

ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, the old "Think of the children" scare. All I have to say is this - Ms Stouffer, in your very own Legend of Rah and the Muggles, you had ALL of the Muggle community and Rah himself (who you seem convinced was the paragon of a children's book hero) stand by idly and not do A SINGLE GODDAMMED THING to stop Zyn and his toadies from harrasing the community. So by your "logic" Rah and the rest of the Muggles were encouraging the "terrorist" behavior of Zyn and the Nevils. And those were your heros. So by all means, Stouffer, continue. I believe you were saying something really funny?

WHAT IS YOUR VIEW OF THE PROBLEMS CAUSED BY THE INFRINGEMENTS ON YOUR PROPERTIES AND TRADEMARKS?  I believe that Scholastic Inc., Arthur A. Levine and J. K. Rowling have committed trademark infringements and have competed unfairly, irreparably damaging my properties and goals.

Raxis: Yes, Stouffer's book was just utterly ruined because Rowling happened to use a similar name for a completely dissimilar group.

WHY DID YOU WAIT UNTIL THREE J.K. ROWLING'S BOOK HAD BEEN PRINTED BEFORE YOU TOOK ACTION

"I didn't wait until three books had been printed before taking action.  I was like most people, who were completely unaware of the 
books until their meteoric rise in popularity last year

ZeldaQueen: Actually, in 1999 (when Stouffer allegedly only became aware of the series), there had been 300,000 copies of Philosopher's Stone sold in the UK. In America, that book was at the top of the New York Times' list of best-selling fiction. So even if it wasn't at the peak of popularity, surely she would have at least heard of the basic premise and noticed the similarities. After all, she claimed that the series had OH SO MANY stolen elements.

An acquaintance of mine pointed the books out to me in July 1999, expressing astonishment at how of my materials had been included. 

Raxis: Ah yes, that lovely list of stolen things. Like there being *gasp* a GREAT HALL involved in your book! Wait a minute, my own fanfic has a great hall! Queeny, it turns out I'm actually a deceptive plagiarizer!

ZeldaQueen: I'd say for shame, but I'm pretty sure that most fantasy writers, published and fanfiction, are guilty of at least some of those things. So either Stouffer's got a rather broad view of things, or she's making baseless claims. Guess which one I'm going with?

I did  some reading, then immediately contacted Scholastic, Inc. 

Raxis: I imagine they had a great big laugh about it once they looked into what you were talking about.

The third  book had not yet been published.  I communicated with Scholastic for  several months, in good faith, trying to reach an amicable settlement  with all of the parties involved.

ZeldaQueen: Given the level of dignity and grace you've been showing through the whole ordeal, I'm sure you were just the epitome of amicability. *rolls eyes*

It appeared to me that I was the only  one operating in good faith, an appearence confirmed when Scholastic, Rowling, and Time-Warner filed suit against me without any prior warning  that they desired to discontinue discussions.

ZeldaQueen: You mean after you sued them?

None of the books were  released with a license to use my trademarks, nor with any consideration  fo unfair trade practices."

Raxis: Yes, your trademark for your name of the race of baby-people. Don't quote me on this, but I recall reading somewhere that Stouffer actually trademarked the term after the fact.

ZeldaQueen: I think she at least went back after the fact and stuck the word "muggle" in more places than it was originally, including the title

Raxis: Ah, I see.

ARE YOU JEALOUS OF J. K. ROWLING’S SUCCESS?  No. 

Raxis:

This is the question most often asked of me by children.

ZeldaQueen: I imagine adults don't ask the quest as often, because it's blindingly obvious to them that you are

can only say to them that I am not the jealous type.

ZeldaQueen: PFFFFFT - *DIES LAUGHING* XD

Raxis: @.@ *Throws Queeny a Phoenix Down.*

enjoy encouraging others to succeed, but I am very firm in my position that you can’t take from another to accomplish those goals, especially not without their permission. 

Raxis: Look, the appeal in the Harry Potter series is HARDLY what Rowling chose to call her non-magical people.

ZeldaQueen: I agree with Ms Stouffer. So she should stop trying to claim to be the source of Rowling's ideas, when she obviously isn't

will give you an example of how strongly I feel about encouraging others to succeed--

ZeldaQueen: I don't care!

When I started this web site, I heard about a sixteen year old boy who was trying to start his own computer web design company.  I called him and he now works with me, and has formed his own company.  I designed him a logo, and give him all of the credit and encouragement I can.  His company name is Olsen Online.  There is not a question in my mind that he has every bit the potential of Bill Gates, his idol. 

Raxis: I'm not sure what the point of this long-winded anecdote is.

ZeldaQueen: Taking the higher ground, Raxis. The same reason she has her "Think of the children! D:" thing going. Incidentally, I tried to look up "Olsen Online". I kept finding links to Mary Kate and Ashley

There is something else I should tell you about Mr. Olsen:  he didn’t even have his own computer at home until June of 2000.  He learned to navigate and understand the technical aspects of programming by reading and thinking-through applications with primarily his mind, and by using the school library computer when he could.

ZeldaQueen: ... He's a Jedi? O_o

Raxis: Now if Stouffer pushed him to become the first real-life Jedi, then THAT would be impressive. And in a ragicomedic way, George Lucas would probably sue her. Well, technically not him, but you know what I mean.

ZeldaQueen: I dunno. Christopher Paolini got away with it, and he just had to call his Jedi "dragon riders" or whatever it was. Maybe if she trained the kid to be the first Dije Warrior of Light, she'd be golden

There are many creative people out there who deserve our support and gratitude, and I make every effort I can to share my gratitude and acknowledge their importance in the world.  I know what it feels like to be on an island with boats passing by every day, that don’t see the fire-burning S. O. S., inside of you. 

Raxis: So basically you feel like a tragic undiscovered talent. Fairly typical.

ZeldaQueen: I can see that Stouffer's wonky analogies aren't limited to her works of fiction

When my boat passes by someone’s island, I stop every chance I get, and welcome them aboard.

ZeldaQueen: ... You do that

WHEN DID YOU FILE FOR YOUR COPYRIGHTS AND APPLY YOUR TRADEMARKS?

I filed my copyrights and applied trademarks involved in this case beginning in 1984.  Four copyrights were filed for the Muggle(s) properties, two for the Lilly and Larry Potter properties, and two for the Nimbus properties.

ZeldaQueen: Crap. She apparently has trademarked my name, four years before I was born. Does that mean I'm going to get sued by her as well?

Raxis: Luckily my Succubus character Lillian is sound as a pound, even if her nickname is Lilly :)

ZeldaQueen: Oh, and apparently Nimbus clouds are going to be dragged to court as well. Shame, that

Raxis: Super Mario RPG and Dragonball are in big trouble.

ZeldaQueen: Also, how the flying flip do trademarks for "Larry Potter" count against "Harry Potter"? If we're going off of names being the same, they just rhyme

WHEN WERE YOUR BOOKS PUBLISHED FOR THE FIRST TIME? Testing began in 1984 and continued through 1986, and the books were distributed to retailers in 1987 through 1989, and a promotional copy in 1997.

Raxis: And then there was another run in which some small-time publisher tried to cash in on the infamy of your lawsuits and promptly went bankrupt. Karma can be hard and swift sometimes.

ZeldaQueen: How convenient that she's claiming that her "promotional copy" was published the exact same year that Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone was. Also, how extremely unlikely, given that her first publishing company went bankrupt in 1987, never published outside of the United States, and the book wasn't re-printed until 2001

HOW WELL DID YOUR BOOKS SELL?  The books sold very well

Raxis: First I've heard of this.

We distributed over 100,000 copies of each title printed for distribution throughout the east coast and other sites across the United
States, and all were sold within a week.  Requests from distributors and the public for the books, prompted Warner to offer me four different contracts for the books.

ZeldaQueen: OH DEAR GOD, YOU LIAR! No, seriously, if the books sold that well, how come no one EVER heard of them until that frivolous lawsuit? If 100,000 copies were sold in a week that would attract a ludacrious amount of attention! (For reference, she's claiming that in ONE WEEK, she sold one third of what Philosopher Stone sold in TWO YEARS.)

Raxis: Your lies make Beato laugh, Stouffer:

WHY DIDN’T YOU ACCEPT THE WARNER CONTRACTS?

Raxis: Probably because they didn't exist... Or they weren't as lucrative as she's trying to make them seem.

ZeldaQueen: The former, I'd imagine

I didn’t accept the contracts, because I couldn’t at the time.  There were claims being made for the copyrights and trademarks by my first publisher, and before I could enter into another agreement I had to clear the title rights through the Federal Courts.  Although I had been completely successful, and the Court gave me exclusive ownership to all of the copyrights and trademarks, it had taken a great deal of time.

Raxis: And you didn't accept these alleged contracts after you managed that because...?

ZeldaQueen: Because, as you said, they don't exist. She's sounding like Gloria Tesch, who thinks her Maradonia Cycle is getting a theme park and movie series. Or Robert Stanek, whose attempts to pretend his insipid books are the next Lord of the Rings fly WELL into batshit county

ARE YOU GOING TO REPUBLISH YOUR BOOKS OR ANY OTHER NEW BOOKS?  Yes. We are planning to republish The

Legend of Rah and the Muggles and two additional books in the series.  I am also completing a new book for the Silver Linings series.

Raxis: By all means, burn more money trying to push your pathetic book.

WHERE DID YOU GET THE NAMES FOR THE CHARACTERS AND TITLES OF YOUR BOOKS?

Raxis: Ironically enough, she plagiarized the Egyptian Sun God! 8D

ZeldaQueen: Given how mind-numbingly sickening they are, I'd guess she dropped a ton of acid and ate fifty pounds of sugar whilst reading Dr. Seuss

My children were my greatest source for my characters, but I also made it a point to include names of the very special people who have helped me throughout the years.

ZeldaQueen: You mean you know people in real life named "Bonker", "Pitter", "Patter", and "Boggs"?

Raxis: My god, I feel sorry for those poor souls. To think I thought "Renesmee" was a stupid name.

The Muggles in my books came from my son Vance, who as a little boy, would asked me if he could kiss my muggies, that’s what he called my cheeks, and the rest was history----I started calling him my little Muggle.

Raxis: God this is all so sugary!

ZeldaQueen: If you've read the book, that will come as no surprise

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT J. K. ROWLING'S EXPLANATION AS TO HOW SHE CAME-UP WITH HER NAMES?  I must say that I am a bit confused by her answers.

ZeldaQueen: Funny, I'm confused by yours. Actually, they make me feel drunk

When she was first asked this question she stated that she didn’t know where she got the name Muggle(s).  She has now come-up with a new explanation for her usage of this name, and a couple of others. 

Raxis: Clearly the sneaky woman was just ripping off your epic naming skillz.

ZeldaQueen: Oh dear, I've occasionally forgotten how I thought up the names of some of my characters. Apparently I've been stealing them, inception-style, from some unsuspecting author in another country

She has also stated since then, that a friend had to remind her where she got one of her other names---- it all seems like a series of very muddled explanations, and that confuses me. 

Raxis: As mentioned above.

I never had to think about where I got my names. I always knew if they just popped-into my head, or if someone, or something prompted me to use them.

Raxis: Well your story doesn't have Loads and Loads of Characters. Well, technically it does, but 90% of them are one-chapter affairs.

ZeldaQueen: This Aren't-I-Great act is really pissing me off. Stouffer, you can't remember to keep details straight in the actual book itself! I don't give a fuck if you can remember where you got your names from! I care that you can't remember about plot points like that treasure chest!

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT J. K. ROWLING’S PUBLISHER’S NEWS RELEASE THAT CALLS YOUR CLAIMS MERITLESS? 

Raxis: Aside from the fact that they are, in fact, meritless.

I don’t like the fact that someone as powerful as Time-Warner and Scholastic Inc. have the ability to steal someone’s property, limit
their media exposure of the nasty deed, and then call them a liar. 

Raxis: You poor tragic underdog, you.

When in reality, if it weren’t for the fact that they controlled the bulk of the media sources, I may have had better exposure for my point of view. 

Raxis: Believe me, more notoriety would have only hurt you.

ZeldaQueen: I'm now picturing Stouffer huddled over her desk, with a sign on the wall saying "The Truth Is Out There"

Everyone should always keep in mind, that nearly every television broadcasting company, large cable companies that deliver the network broadcasts, the bulk of the major news magazines, some newspaper syndicates and radio networking, are all involved with or controlled by the Time-Warner Group in some way; including but not limited to America Online and Microsoft internet operations. 

Raxis: Beware of the vast Time-Warner conspiracy! BIG-WARNER IS WATCHING YOU!

ZeldaQueen: ... Stouffer, I was JOKING. Why do you insist on being insane enough to make my parody realistic?

This gives them the ability to influence the sale of products, and enables them to slant public opinion in every way, and that includes matters concerning my case.

ZeldaQueen: Um, is this the explanation as to why no one heard of her book before the lawsuit? Because it still doesn't explain how a one-week sell-out of 100,000 books was never heard of. What, is Time-Warner the literary equivalent of the mafia, going back and editing all articles and lists of bestsellers?

I must tell you that it frightens me to think that the public probably doesn’t think about the power these companies have

Raxis: She sounds like a classic conspiracy theorist.

ZeldaQueen: "Sounds like"?

It also frightens me that the public may not have considered the fact that I made these claims, knowing, that in order to defend my rights, and take a stand for all creative people, I would have to pay a very big price both personally and professionally.

Raxis: Lady, I don't want you standing up for people like me... I'll try and get my books published without resorting to lawsuits.

ZeldaQueen: Joy, insane troll logic

I would also ask the public to take into consideration the fact that a law firm of the stature of the one representing my case, would
not have undertaken this case, knowing that it would cost them several million dollars to defend me, if they weren’t very sure that my claims were valid.

ZeldaQueen: Actually you can find lawyers to take just about any case, so long as you pay them

Raxis: If only she had Phoenix Wright on her side.

ZeldaQueen: It would forever be known as the epic case, Turnabout Muggles!

It is important for everyone to understand that the pirating of properties in any manner, creates unfair trade

Raxis: Beware the bold of doom!

but that unfairness is highlighted in this case by the fact that the offender also greatly influences and/or controls the media and hence, public opinion.

ZeldaQueen: Or maybe your book was just really badly-written and thus no one bought it. You ever consider that one?

Raxis: Queeny, weren't you paying attention? D: It sold 100,000 in the first week!

ZeldaQueen: Right, right, silly me! XD

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT SCHOLASTIC’S CLAIM THAT J. K. ROWLING COULD NOT HAVE SEEN YOUR WORK BECAUSE SHE HAS ALWAYS LIVED AND IS A NATIVE OF SCOTLAND?  I find this statement very perplexing, especially

ZeldaQueen: - since Rowling only has ever said she was born and raised in England?

after obtaining a certified copy of her copyright application which clearly states that she is a citizen of the United States of America. 

Raxis: Oh wow, Rowling should go call up President Obama; she seems to be getting her own birther movement! Rowling was dirt-poor, I seriously doubt she had the funds to initiate some vast conspiracy to steal your intellectual property.

ZeldaQueen: I... oh dear lord. XD This is pretty much sporking itself now

I would ask the public to look at the facts of my case with a bit more clarity in light of the discrepancies that have been illustrated with
each changing version of J. K. Rowling’s, or Scholastic’s explanation for anything related to this case; including, but not limited to her claim of citizenship, or where she got the material for her books.

Raxis: She may, in fact, be an evil space alien come to destroy humankind.

ZeldaQueen: No, clearly she's trying to be President of the United States. Somehow

WHAT IS YOUR VIEW OF VIOLENCE IN CHILDREN'S PUBLISHING OR PRODUCTS:

Raxis: Apparently positive, considering there's a NUCLEAR WAR in her book.

I strongly believe that children, while still at very impressionable ages of between 3-13, should not be entertained or baby-sat by violent or complex non-traditional entertainment products, including books; especially when reading or participating involves complex judgment skills.

Raxis: Oh man, I was watching Dragonball Z at age 9~10. That's obviously where I went wrong in life. CURSE YOU OVER 9000! D: And really "complex judgement skills"? Are you trying to say children should be protected from having to think?

ZeldaQueen: Oh dear lord. *holds head* As Raxis said, her book opens with a NUCLEAR GODDAMMED WAR. And from there on, has a king killed in battle, a mother abandoning her children, a boy growing up to be a "terrorist" (STOUFFER'S OWN WORDS) who breaks the spirits of other Muggles and forces them to his will, said boy and Muggles horrifically burning themselves and putting said burns in salt water, and then all of them starving to near death over several years. Oh, and all this was started by a rant about governments and politics. Yes, I'd say she doesn't believe in children books promoting violence or complex issues

WHAT IS YOUR VIEW OF THE HARRY POTTER BOOKS? 

Raxis: (Stouffer): "WICKED! TRICKSY! FALSE!"

I have no direct comment at this time, however, I am not happy when thefts of intellectual properties take place, no matter who the victim may be.

Raxis: (Stouffer): "It's me, by the way. D':"

ZeldaQueen: No direct comment? What does she consider this entire FAQ to be?

WHERE DID YOU GET THE INSPIRATION FOR THE CUTE LITTLE CHARACTERS IN YOUR BOOKS

Raxis: That book has cute characters in it?

ZeldaQueen: Stouffer, you aren't even pretending you're not making up these questions yourself, are you?

Raxis: More seriously, she means the Muggles, obviously. Their designs couldn't have been hard; they're fucking bipedal babies. How hard is that?

The actual faces and bodies of the Muggles came from my memory of my youngest brother.  He was diagnosed with Tuberculosis as a child, and was very ill.

ZeldaQueen: That's...lovely

He was very thin and it made his eyes look very big and they appeared to bulge from his pale face.

ZeldaQueen: Thank you for describing vividly what a child with tuberculosis looks like. I think I'm going to vomit

Raxis: And DRAWING it...

His little body was frail, and I thought he was the cutest little boy I had ever seen.

ZeldaQueen: O____O What?!?

Raxis: *blinks*

ZeldaQueen: Good God, what is WRONG with her? She looks at a boy with tugerculosis and thinks he's CUTE? Jesus! This is - GAH! I'm... I feel dirty!

He is not so little any longer, but in my heart, he will always be that little boy who needed lots of love.

Raxis: I'm sure he loves that you still have that image in mind.

ZeldaQueen: That's just disturbing, that she loves imagining her brother as when he was suffering from a potentially deadly illness

WHAT PROMPTED YOU TO BEGIN WRITING?

When I was child, our family lived in a rural community.  There were very few girls to play with, and I wasn’t much of a tomboy.  While I was growing-up, there weren’t the number of television programs, or for that matter, television sets, not like children have today. 

Raxis: And now she's setting herself up as your classic rural country girl. Glad to know we're hitting all the right cliches!

I was encouraged to be creative and develop my own activities.  I spent all of my free time either swimming for a team, or creating things of my own. 

Raxis: How is being on a swim-team developing your own activities or being creative? How is writing developing your own activities either? Is she trying to say she made up writing now?

To this day, nearly every day, if you looked, you would find that I have done something original and creative. 

Raxis: Any chance of you sharing some of it with us?

ZeldaQueen: "Original and creative" doesn't necessarily equal "good" ^^;

Poetry is one my favorite forms of writing, although I have written lyrics and musical compositions, as well as books.

ZeldaQueen: Theoretically, so can an infinite amount of monkeys at keyboards

DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES?

Raxis: Filing Lawsuits!

Yes.  I love the challenge of designing anything from beginning to end.

Raxis: That doesn't really answer the question...

ZeldaQueen: As opposed to people who love the challenge of designing something and stopping in the middle! :D

Raxis: Lol, I don't love that I have a problem of doing just that.

I have designed many different things including, but not limited to cardboard boxes, stuffed animals, dolls, patterns for commercial usage, shoes, purses, logos, furniture, and have even named a world-class golf course. I enjoy participating in car shows with my son.

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ANY OTHER BOOKS?  Yes.  I have written fourteen books, six series were published, and I am working on another one.

ZeldaQueen: Is that so? Your marketing apparently sucks, in that case

Raxis: WOW. Evidently this woman has a bit of a thing about writing books that fly under the radar.

DO YOU HAVE A FAMILY AND COULD YOU TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THEM? 

Raxis: Of course; just a little more pity-milking.

ZeldaQueen: I'm sure your family loves that you're posting about them online

Yes, I do have a family.  I am married to a wonderful man, David Joel Stouffer.  He was my next-door neighbor when I was a child.  We didn’t begin dating until after we had both graduated from high school.  He is a commercial pilot and has his own flight-related business.  We were married in an airplane belonging to a major airline, for which Mr. Stouffer was then serving as Chief Pilot and Director of Operations. Pictures of our wedding were seen in newspapers and magazines, all over the world.

ZeldaQueen: Um, I highly doubt they were posted "all over the world"...

nbsp;   
We have two children, Jennifer Belle, age 26, who upon graduating from college, taught kindergarten for a while, but is currently employed in management within the travel industry.  She is also an aspiring actress.  My son Vance David, age 17, was born on the same day and at the same time as Prince William,

nbsp;     

ZeldaQueen: And that's significant, how? Are you implying they're spirtually connected, or something?

Raxis: There's only 365 days and thousands of people born each year. Theoretically SOMEONE is born at the same time and day as someone else who is important.

and is a senior at Trinity High School.  Vance hopes to attend college next fall, and in his spare time he plays golf with his father, works on his two classic cars, and attends car shows.

WHAT KIND OF A CAR DO YOU DRIVE?

ZeldaQueen: Oh dear lord, she's secretly Stephenie Meyer! D:

Raxis: What's the point of this!?

With the help of my oldest brother, Harry, Mr. Wonderful,

ZeldaQueen: That sounds like a verse from a show tune. "With the help of my oldest brother/ He's Harry!/ Mr. Wonderful!/ We will get this doooooone!"

I continue to drive my original 1960’s VW Bus that is painted all over with brightly colored designs.

ZeldaQueen: So, she paints with all the colors of the wind?

Raxis: I'll bet that looks psychedelic.

It has been driven nearly 400,000 miles and still has the same engine.  I have driven all over the United States and most of Canada in my Psychedelic Bus.  The bus has been exhibited in many national and international car shows, and won many, many awards.  It has been featured in numerous magazines and newspapers, featured on news programs, used for a movie, HBO special, television commercials, a very famous computer company’s CEO’s birthday party, recently seen on VH1, and used to raise money for charities

ZeldaQueen: Uh huh. And why, pray tell, is it nigh impossible to find out anything about this bus? If it's so popular, why is it pretty much nonexistent online, where one can find clips and articles about nearly any strange thing they want? Is this also Time-Warner's doing?

Raxis: And what's the point of this anyways? Just showing off some more?

--most importantly, to encourage kids to use their minds in a creative way, drug-free.

Raxis: Gotta squeeze in one more "Think of the children! D:" And we're done! Pleasure to work with you again, Queeny. *Scoots off to read the newest chapter of a Nanoha fic I'm quite fond of*

ZeldaQueen: Good working with you again, Raxis! :) And to everyone in Viewerland, thanks for reading and have a fantastic start to 2013! *runs off to celebrate with Cheez-its*

---

Back to: Final Assesment

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[carmyn]

Hm, LJ seemed to have had a seizure. Can't read half of it D:

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

O_o I don't know what happened. Is it easier to read now? ^^;

[carmyn]

Yay! It is!

Jeez, I hate it when people get into conspiracy mode. It's like a weird version of a flounce.

DON'T REMIND ME OF PAOLINI. *flails*

In my vast limited querying experience, I know the rule of thumb for self published authors is to not query agents or really mention their self published work unless they sold more than 5,000 copies. 100k would DEFINITELY get noticed.

[raxistaicho.livejournal.com]

should be fixed now.

[lilyxlightning.livejournal.com]

"ARE YOU JEALOUS OF J. K. ROWLING’S SUCCESS? No."

Well, that's very mature of you...Miss N.K. Stouffer (http://verprose.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/larrypot-cover.jpg).

[(Anonymous)]

"Ages 3-13, should not be entertained or baby-sat by violent or complex non-traditional entertainment products, including books"

At this point I went from a few eye-rolls to retching on the floor. I cannot stand the attitude that children must be protected from every detail and cannot think beyond simple things. All you accomplish is alienating kids who are perfectly capable of thinking with their very own little grey cells.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/ZeldaQueen: You mean you know people in real life named "Bonker", "Pitter", "Patter", and "Boggs"?/

Well, I can see Boggs as a surname, but maybe that’s because I’m thinking of Randall Boggs from “Monsters Inc.”

/She looks at a boy with tugerculosis and thinks he's CUTE?/

0_0 Uh…yeah…

Actually, she sounds like schmaltzy Victorian novels that romanticized deathly ill children (and women). Edgar Allan Poe actually wrote a passage that was probably intended to be sarcastic in his short story, “Metzengerstein,” about the title character’s mother dying of consumption. The paragraph is very flowery and poetic, and it almost seems as if he’s glorifying the disease in the typical Romantic/Gothic fashion…until you research a bit of Poe’s family history and realize that he had first-hand experience of people dying of tuberculosis and thus was fully aware of what it was really like.

wait a minute...

[william carey hughes (from livejournal.com)]

so driving around in a psychedelic VW bus is supposed to encourage kids to be drug-FREE? If you say so, Stouffer...

Either way, authors come up with the same concepts all the time without knowledge of other works. It's not like everyone has knowledge of every single work ever created. Hell, when I was in the planning stages of the series of novels I'm (very, very slowly) writing, one of my initial ideas was having the first chapter of each book be from the point of view of a minor character who would die at the end of the chapter. I'd already started to move away from that idea, but then I read A Song of Ice and Fire

Anyway, just got linked to your sporking while killing time on TV Tropes today, great work! :D

[undying-embers.livejournal.com]

Hmm, 100,000 copies in a week. A wedding that was featured in magazines "all over the world" and a car that gets more gigs than Aerosmith? And I thought that Gesthemene Butler's alleged "Phantom Wedding in Notre Dame" was insane.