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zelda_queenProjection Room Voices: Last chapter of this section. Think you're up for it?
ZeldaQueen: Oh yeah!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 18: There Are No Words For This
ZeldaQueen: Evidently Meyer’s never heard of “squick”.
Well then, leaving off from our…interesting cliffhanger, we dive right into the action, with Bella shaking like she’s possessed while snaps, crackles, and pops come from her body.
Rosalie and Edward nab Bella and drag her up to the room they prepared for the delivery and dose her up with morphine while Rosalie and Alice call for Carlisle. Edward pulls off all of her clothes and Jacob spares a moment to think back to all of the times he’d wished to see her naked and how he was too scared to look now. How nice, Jacob, the girl you’ve been mooning over is birthing a little chest burster and that’s what you can think of?
Edward calls out that the placenta has detached - hence the ripping noise heard in the previous chapter. Funny, Bella doesn’t really fit any of the signs of being at risk for this, nor does she show any of the symptoms. Ah well, she’s a Mary Sue, we need it to be really dramatic. Anyway, Bella hears this and freaks out and starts screaming that the baby can’t breath and to get it out right now! Good God, someone duct tape her mouth shut! Do they have any duct tape? All good emergency rooms, even makeshift ones, ought to. And how does she know about detached placentas? She said before that her knowledge of pregnancy pretty much came from movies and I don’t recall that being much of an issue in films.
Oh, and apparently she screams enough to break some blood vessels in her eyes. DANG!
Evidently fate agrees with me and Bella is shut up via another gushing of blood. Thank you, grossly inaccurate anatomy.
Rosalie takes up a scalpel to cut the baby out and of course continues to be shown as a heartless witch who cares more about getting the baby out than keeping Bella alive. Given how much Bella is supposed to be thrashing around and bleeding and given that the baby is apparently chewing out through her stomach, I doubt that she’d notice a few scalpel cuts anyway. And then -
"Her hand came down on Bella's stomach, and vivid red spouted out from where she pierced the skin. It was like a bucket being turned over, a faucet twisted to full. Bella jerked, but didn't scream. She was still choking."
ZeldaQueen: *rubs head* You know, I don’t know a whole lot about human anatomy, but I find it very hard to swallow that a person has that much blood to spare like that.
And in the middle of it all, Rosalie chooses this inopportune moment to remember that Bella’s blood is so nummy and looks about ready to dive in and eat her. YES! YES! YE - aw man! She’s foiled as Jacob leaps across the table, tackles her to the ground, and punches her for good measure. All while Bella’s flailing around on the table naked and Edward is helping her breath.
If they ever get around to making this into a movie, this will either be extremely creepy, or wicked awesome.
Alice drags Rosalie away and Jacob runs over to help Bella in the breathing department. He gets to give her CPR, woot for him. Amazingly, he doesn’t use this opportunity to go on about kissing her bloodstained lips or whatever. And then the little demon fetus breaks Bella’s spine. No, really
"Another shattering crack inside her body, the loudest yet, so loud that we both froze in shock waiting for her answering shriek. Nothing. Her legs, which had been curled up in agony, now went limp, sprawling out in an unnatural way.
'Her spine,' he choked in horror.
'Get it out of her!' I snarled, flinging the scalpel at him. 'She won't feel anything now!'"
ZeldaQueen: Is it wrong that I’m really enjoying this? Mervin, your beat down has become canon.
And then we get some lines from Jacob, apparently taken out of a soppy chick flick movie. Really. He starts shouting for Bella not to die on him and to keep her heart beating like she promised. All this while, Edward is hacking at her stomach with a scalpel. And - dear lord, he starts chewing open her stomach! This is just - how are they going to make this into a movie? This is - I - I’m going to lighten the mood with a bit of mood music, if you don’t mind.
ZeldaQueen: Well, they finally get the little demon spawn out of her and of course it’s a girl, which they name Renesmee, as per Bella’s idea. Grr… Jacob mentally comments on how she was wrong about the baby’s gender and "What hadn't she been wrong about?"
Thank you for speaking for all of us, Jacob.
Bella mutters that she wants to hold the baby and Jacob keeps conveniently staring at her face and not seeing the baby. Well, I wonder why that is? And we’re once again reminded of how bloody everything is. Seriously.
“By the time I looked, it was too late. Edward had snatched the warm, bloody thing out of her limp arms. My eyes flickered across her skin. It was red with blood–the blood that had flowed from her mouth, the blood smeared all over the creature, and fresh blood welling out of a tiny double-crescent bite mark just over her left breast. ”
ZeldaQueen: For those of you who can’t or don’t want to count it, the word “blood” was used five times. In four sentences. Bad form there, Meyer.
All that aside, it turns out that the little spawn of Satan actually bit Bella when she held it. So much for it recognizing her so well. Rosalie shows up and offers to take it while Edward sees to Bella. Edward then procures a syringe of venom and stabs Bella in the heart with it while biting her body in other places. It…kind of reads like some extremely tame vampire torture porn.
And everyone who was enjoying any halfway decency that conceivably was beginning to rear its head with Jacob? I’m very sorry for all of you. Because it has gone straight out of the window along with any characterization for poor Leah. Because apparently Jake here loses his mind at the sight of Bella’s bloody and mangled corpse and becomes convinced that she’s dead Jim and there’s no possible way to fix her up. He also mentions that the weird pull he’d been feeling towards her was gone and now leading him out of the room.
Jacob goes stumbling out of the room, angsting like he’s never done before. No, seriously. You think he was bad at the beginning of this section, when Bella got married? That has nothing on how bad he is now. He starts going on about “ocean[s] of pain” and how he’s lost his purpose and wishes he could bleach his brain to forget those last few moments. I’m sure we all wish that, Jake.
And then - *blinks* well this isn’t disturbing. As Jake is about to leave the house, he catches sight of Rosalie cuddling and rocking Renesmee. He instantly starts referring to the baby as a murderer and an executioner - honestly, he uses those exact words - and he plans to kill it. He honestly and truly intends to kill a newborn infant because of how it was birthed.
I am just - what is this? This does not convince me that Jacob is loyal and devoted, it convinces me that he is deranged! I think I’ll cite the Tenth Doctor, when he was asked if he’d kill some alien babies that were born from human fat. He said he wouldn’t because they were babies. They couldn’t help how they were born. (Ah Doctor Who, a source of infinitely superior wisdom than this baloney).
He starts going on about how this is his revenge and he didn’t care what came of it. So he’s going to murder an infant to avenge Bella, Bella who was so attached to the thing that she died for it? I think you missed the point somewhere, bunghole! He also goes on in elaborate detail about how he’d try to kill Alice and Rosalie and Jasper after killing the baby and figured that while the vampires could be fixed up, Renesmee couldn’t.
And then he gets a good look at the baby’s face. And I - I - WHAT IS THIS?!?!?
"The murderer stared past Rosalie's shoulder at me, its gaze more focused than any newborn creature's gaze should be.
Warm brown eyes, the color of milk chocolate–the exact same color that Bella's had been.
My shaking jerked to a stop; heat flooded through me, stronger than before, but it was a new kind of heat–not a burning.
It was a glowing.
Everything inside me came undone as I stared at the tiny porcelain face of the half-vampire, half-human baby. All the lines that held me to my life were sliced apart in swift cuts, like clipping the strings to a bunch of balloons. Everything that made me who I was–my love for the dead girl upstairs, my love for my father, my loyalty to my new pack, the love for my other brothers, my hatred for my enemies, my home, my name, my self–disconnected from me in that second–snip, snip, snip –and floated up into space.
I was not left drifting. A new string held me where I was.
Not one string, but a million. Not strings, but steel cables. A million steel cables all tying me to one thing–to the very center of the universe.
I could see that now–how the universe swirled around this one point. I'd never seen the symmetry of the universe before, but now it was plain.
The gravity of the earth no longer tied me to the place where I stood.
It was the baby girl in the blond vampire's arms that held me here now.”
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me, what was that? WHAT WAS THAT?!?
Let me get this straight, Meyer. Jacob spends the entirety of his section angsting about what a terrible little parasite Bella’s baby is and how he is so freaking in love for her that he just can’t go and bother to pursue a relationship like an ordinary person. Upon seeing Bella die, he goes off to kill this baby. And now you expect me to accept that he has all of a sudden fall in in love with it? That he’s just forgotten about how he’s mooned over Bella and hated on the vampires with one look? AND YOU EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT THIS IS SWEET?
And on top of all of that, dear viewers, just look at that quotes. He falls head over heals for Renesmee and look at what he says happens - he forgets his love for Bella (who he describes as “the dead girl upstairs”, how sweet), he forgets his love for his family and his friends and Seth and Leah (if you believe that any of that was already there to begin with), and abandons his hatred for the vampires. In other words, he has just dropped all bonds and emotions except for intense feelings of desire for a newborn baby. And he likes it. He sees nothing wrong with it. And of course everyone will hand wave it by saying “Oh, it’s not sexual of course! He’s just going to raise her until she’s old enough to marry and bang her!” Um, screw you Meyer. That sounds about as convincing as Harry “I’m Ticking My Naked Daughters In A Platonic Way” Potter in Hogwarts Exposed or Rose “I’m Not A Lesbian, I Just Like Girls To Soap Me Up” Potter.
That’s not even going into the implications and problems in general with this child grooming-imprinting, which I already went into with Claire.
And of course, I win my bet. Jake is perfectly happy to be brainwashed into loving the very thing he had been walking towards to kill not two seconds ago.
Folks, I hope I gave this rant justice. I’m sure there’ll be more later, but this is what I’ve got now.
Oh, and we get a sentence mentioning that Bella’s heart has restarted upstairs and the Sueing up has begun. But Jacob doesn’t talk about that too much, he’s too busy finding True Love.
GOD!!!!!!!!!!
Projection Room Voices: Well, that's all over. Feel better?
ZeldaQueen: Sort of. Good lord, but that was boring! It almost makes me miss Bella's endless prose. Almost.
Projection Room Voices: I'm sure you'll change your mind soon enough. Take a break. When we start again, it will be on the third and final section of Breaking Dawn.
Onward to: Chapter 19: Preface/Burning
Back to: Chapter 17: What Do I Look Like? The Wizard Of Oz? You Need a Brain? You Need A Heart? Go Ahead. Take Mine. Take Everything I Have.
Return to: Table of Contents
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 12:19 am (UTC)And I just hate the whole "Renesme/Jake" thing. For starters it is CHEAP! Really? Is that how people get over love? By cruddy magic and no real effort And yes, no effort. All Jake did was complain about how he would never get over Bella, who was never his girlfriend to begin with. God, is he a wolf or a giant cat?
Also, I hate that it destroys attachments. Your love for your parents should be stronger than the love of the girl you just met. "True love" is not pushing aside everybody else in your life. That is not healthy.
And it destroys "the relationship" and "the love" Jake and Bella shared. What was the point of the past books? It just shoots conflict and drama in the foot. And it destroys the idea of imprinting being rare.
Moreover, I would have loved for Jake's group to be the freedom fighters, those who do what they please. It would have fit their actually characters very well. Leah belongs wherever she wants to be, Seth likes whoever he likes (even though I see no reason) and Jacob does what he feels like.
Finally, does Meyer hate singles so much that even the baby must be paired up. The hell? I don't care she grows super fast, Meyer loves her so much that he gives her her own awesome "true love" after 5 minutes of being born. (Facepalm)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 12:37 am (UTC)And I have the sneaking suspicion that the super-fast growth was a freaking plot device to (A) ensure that Bella wouldn't have to sully herself feeding and changing the baby and (B) so that Jacob of course wouldn't be asked to dare consider *waiting* to get married and start the boinking.
"Moreover, I would have loved for Jake's group to be the freedom fighters, those who do what they please. It would have fit their actually characters very well. Leah belongs wherever she wants to be, Seth likes whoever he likes (even though I see no reason) and Jacob does what he feels like."
I know! There are a lot of people who wanted Jacob and Leah to hook up, but I am firmly of the opinion that there's no reason for either to need that. And of course, Leah - Leah who is always being singled out - is the only one of the bunch who is still single by the end. But I don't care. I like her better that way.
It's all just...I wonder if Meyer really did live her life like this. Did she really drop all of her friends the instant she hooked up with her husband? She's said that she has no problems with ditching him if Edward or Jacob showed up at the door. I just...UGH.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 12:51 am (UTC)Agreed! I don't want Leah and Jacob to hook up. I want Jacob to have a spine and Leah to feel more mellow and just be snarky at everybody for pleasure and be friends. You can have characters feeling lots of love for each other without being in love. Most of my main characters are best friends throughout the story, regardless of gender and orientation. What has happened to the value of friendship?
And super growing makes no sense to me. I'm sorry but it doesn't. You have somebody who grows each year and somebody who doesn't grow ever and they produce super growing baby? See, I may but that if Edward was a mosquito, but not a vamp. Demonspawn should grow super slow!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 01:08 am (UTC)But we all know the only reason the sparklebaby grows fast (and then slows all the way down at age seven and becomes basically immortal) is so Jacob can have domestic bliss in short order, as opposed to Quil, who has years of 'monkitude' lying ahead of him while waiting for Clair to grow up. It's just making everything tie up so fine and pretty. Everybody gets their perfect mate (except the spouseless, who are bitter and angry and don't deserve to have love interests.)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 01:20 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:10 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:11 am (UTC)That's not even going into the psychological and physical issues that would surely leave the baby screwy.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:27 am (UTC)And lady, a psycho demonspawn would be awesome. That would be the only saving grace, if Meyer was talented enough.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:53 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:13 am (UTC)See, those are my favorite kinds of relationships. It's like Holmes said in that movie that just came out, "It makes a considerable difference having someone with whom I can thoroughly rely".
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:25 am (UTC)There's just a beautiful quality to having a best friend who you can rely in without sexual tension or anything of the sort. Which is why I try to limit my romances (the world is over filled with those) and expand my friendships.
Some of my friends say I think this way because of my sexuality (asexualism) but I find that there are other people who think that way and I don't generally hate romance, as my icon shows (Carl/Ellie 4 ever!!) it's just that I see it overused compared to friendship. And see? It creates works like Twilight where romance is seen as the most important thing.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:55 am (UTC)But you're right, there's nothing like a good Nakama.
I don't like to write romances just because I really suck at it. Frankly, I'd rather not try it at all than do it badly and awkwardly. Again, this is a shining example of how that would turn out.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 04:08 am (UTC)And Tiana and Naveen are awesome. I love that Naveen is a total man whore. Something about that amused me. And Tiana is flawed (workaholic) A heroine with flaws, what an idea. Although my favorite part of that movie is Charlotte and the Shadow man. Charlotte was surprisingly cute, funny, self less and had the best body language along side the Shadow man. I could freeze any scene with her and get an awesome pose or expression. She's so great I don't even mind the pink. And she's happy even though she ends single because the happiness of her friend is more valuable.
And I do write romances, I just barely do it. What I don't write is sex scenes because those will indeed come awkward. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 04:39 am (UTC)Oh yeah, Charlotte was adorable! ^^ And it's a perfect example of balancing friendship and love. I think I'm in love with Naveen's accent though. Bruno Campos was brilliant with that. And I totally agree with you, I'm glad that they gave Tiana some flaws of her own. It seems like in most fairy tale updated adaptations, the guy is flawed and fixes himself for the girl, but the girl is already is good. And the Shadowman, well he was just creepy. Keith David's got one fine voice. ^^
Ohhhh sex scenes. The bane of my existence. I have not even attempted any, I just know that they'll be all...wrong.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 03:20 am (UTC)*just. stares*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 08:49 am (UTC)I think that the imprinting issue was what turned even some of the Twihards against the book. It's just, so...wrong.
If this chapter is anything to go by, SMeyer has some serious issues.
On another note, does anyone know if the imprinting was in 'Ever Dawn' (the initial second and final book before Little Brown realised they could spin out more money for themselves)?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 10:28 am (UTC)The basic story is the same. Bella and Edward get married and go to Isle Esme for their honeymoon. Bella gets pregnant with Renesmee. The birth just about kills Bella, but Edward makes her a vampire in time. Jacob imprints on Renesmee. Alice has a vision of the Volturi coming to destroy the Cullens with the "immortal child" as their excuse. Alice bails. Bella's shielding abilities turn the tide in the Cullen's favor, along with Alice bringing home another half-vampire to prove that Nessie isn't a danger.
The things that are different:
* Jacob and Bella are not nearly so close. None of the events of New Moon or Eclipse exist; Edward never leaves, so Bella and Jacob never bond. Jacob's feelings for Bella remain at crush level.
* Due in part to Jacob being a smaller character, the werewolf pack is only sketchily developed. It exists as a whole, but there isn't much information about the individuals. Most of the wolves do not have names.
* The entire story is written in Bella's perspective. Because of this, there is a lot more emphasis on the pregnancy phase.
* Jacob isn't there at the delivery, naturally, so he imprints on Renesmee a few weeks later when Bella is visiting Charlie.
* With no New Moon or Eclipse, Victoria and Laurent are both still alive. Laurent stays happily with Irina and sides with the Cullens in the confrontation with the Volturi. It is Victoria rather than Irina who informs on the Cullens to the Volturi. She creates a new friend, Riley, to make the actual accusation. She doesn't want Aro to know about her agenda—or the fact that the baby is only half-vampire, of which she is aware.
* The wolves kill Victoria. She is the only casualty at the final confrontation.
* The last chapter ends the same way, but there is an epilogue. It involves Max (J. Jenk's assistant). Bella's initial interaction with him is a little bit longer and, feeling she owes him a favor, she gives him her number and tells him she will help him out in return if he ever needs a favor of his own. Max gets himself into some trouble, and Bella gets to play Superman.
Frankly, I don;t know which version is worse.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 05:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 06:09 pm (UTC)Yes, Seras Victoria would pwn each and everyone in there. She is SO win. <3
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 08:00 pm (UTC)Ah, if only.
/The entire story is written in Bella's perspective. Because of this, there is a lot more emphasis on the pregnancy phase./
*groans* Oh, good Lord. I'm so glad that it was taken out. The pregnancy has been revolting enough through Jacob's eyes; I don't even want to know how it would sound in Bella's perspective. Although, if Bella insisted on being stupidly attached to the fetus and insisted on using purple prose, it could have been hilarious. "Then, I felt the mighty, Herculean kicks of my nudger as he pummeled the inside of my stomach with his small feet. I was filled with chagrin, but then I realized that he must have inherited the incredible, titanic strength of his god-like father and smiled through the pain."
/With no New Moon or Eclipse, Victoria and Laurent are both still alive. Laurent stays happily with Irina and sides with the Cullens in the confrontation with the Volturi. It is Victoria rather than Irina who informs on the Cullens to the Volturi. She creates a new friend, Riley, to make the actual accusation. She doesn't want Aro to know about her agenda—or the fact that the baby is only half-vampire, of which she is aware./
Wait...what? Okay, I'm glad that Laurent had originally survived and it makes sense that it would be Victoria who would tell the Volturi about Nessie, not Irina. But how exactly would she use Riley to make her point, unless Riley was originally supposed to be a child? And why wouldn't she want Aro to know about her plans for revenge? Vampires eat people. The Volturi eat people. As long as Victoria didn't expose the vampires' secret to the whole of humankind, I don't see why the Volturi would care about her revenge.
/The wolves kill Victoria. She is the only casualty at the final confrontation./
Oh, of course. *rolls eyes* Well, at least there would have been some form of a battle.
/The last chapter ends the same way, but there is an epilogue. It involves Max (J. Jenk's assistant). Bella's initial interaction with him is a little bit longer and, feeling she owes him a favor, she gives him her number and tells him she will help him out in return if he ever needs a favor of his own. Max gets himself into some trouble, and Bella gets to play Superman./
So why couldn't Meyer keep that part? Why couldn't she have had at least ONE scene where Bella was genuinely heroic and kind? Didn't Bella say by the end of the first book that she was tired of being Lois Lane, that she wanted to be Superman, too? Why couldn't she have been Superman (or Superwoman, actually), instead of a shallow, self-absorbed brat? D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 10:02 pm (UTC)I'm not certain, but I think what it meant is that she'd have created Riley as a newborn like in Eclipse because she didn't want to be the one to make the actual accusation (and thus not have it linked back to her). As for WHY, I'm really not sure, unless it was supposed to have something to do with her not wanting the Cullens to find out (like if the Volturi said to them "Yo, we're here because of Victoria"). And I guess she didn't want them to know that Renesmee was half-human because it might have made them reconsider killing the baby (Aro could have read her memories to find out, but not Rileys if she never told him).
"So why couldn't Meyer keep that part? Why couldn't she have had at least ONE scene where Bella was genuinely heroic and kind? Didn't Bella say by the end of the first book that she was tired of being Lois Lane, that she wanted to be Superman, too? Why couldn't she have been Superman (or Superwoman, actually), instead of a shallow, self-absorbed brat? D"
No idea. The entire thing with that dude was pretty useless, seeing as they never use the passports he provides. All she does at the end is promise to take over business relations with him so that Jasper doesn't give him a heart attack.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 01:20 pm (UTC)It was. According to Meyer's website though, Jacob and Bella never got close because the events of "New Moon" never happened. As a result, Jake wasn't at the birthing and imprinted on Renesmee some time later, when Bella goes to visit Charlie.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 05:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 12:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 10:26 am (UTC)Oh, and I don't feel bad for Renesfail at all. Three or four chapters from now, it is revealed that she "claimed" Jacob as hers, since she is so damn intelligent for a baby. Meyer simply enforces her idea of soul mates. Exactly because Nessie is so speshul, she can recognize her soul mate days after the womb. So no, I don't feel bad for her at all. Meyer made SURE that she doesn't have the intelligence of a child, so I cannot say "poor, young, naive thing, she doesn't know any better, let's educate her!" SHE STARTS READING HEMINGWAY ON HER OWN, FFS!!!
I would feel bad for Jacob, though: forced to be close to the woman he loved and his enemy as a pairing, because a crazy mambo-jumbo dictates him to. And then, Stephenie Meyer says that she's pro-choice. GOD, I'll never get tired of this. I don't know if she's lying, or if she's THAT stupid. Jacob clearly states that imprinting it a way to take away your choices! What's the catch? Oh, but he was wrong before, because he embodied free choice, so now that he is enslaved to that "fateful" romance, he sees the light and everything is sugar! WHAT A NICE MESSAGE!
I HATE MEYER! I HATE THESE BOOKS AND THIS ONE THE MOST!!!
Aaaand they're gonna picture this in two movies. WHY??! What are they going to show? 1% Volturi, 49% Jacob angsting and 50% vampire pr0n????
I would like to tell you that the worst is over, but I cannot lie. The most painful part for me was Bella's last book. It's just AWFUL.
Have courage!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 02:01 pm (UTC)Thanks! Time to press onward! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 02:14 am (UTC)Really, the single worst thing that happens to her is the demonspawn pregnancy -- which is pretty bad, realistically speaking -- but it also turns out so saccharine and beautiful and perfect that it doesn't matter a tick what happened, since she got a perfect sparklebaby out of the deal and has a perfect husband (however emotionally abusive he was) and everybody finds their soul mate and all Bella had to do was whine, moan, and go through a week of intense discomfort and then she becomes immortal and super-powered and the most perfect newborn vampire to have ever vampired.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 03:02 am (UTC)Normally I'd agree with you, but right now I'm getting on to sporking the chapter where we hear her narrate how she's in awful pain from the birthing and transformation. It is AWFUL. I don't know if I could take her going on like that for a frigging year. And I also suspect that Meyer has no idea how to write Bella's thought process for that long. She (Bella) is an empty-headed little twit who can't do anything unless it involves making out with Edward. What's she supposed to do if she's kept in the Arctic for months on end. Reflect about her life? HA!
"Really, the single worst thing that happens to her is the demonspawn pregnancy -- which is pretty bad, realistically speaking -- but it also turns out so saccharine and beautiful and perfect that it doesn't matter a tick what happened, since she got a perfect sparklebaby out of the deal and has a perfect husband (however emotionally abusive he was) and everybody finds their soul mate and all Bella had to do was whine, moan, and go through a week of intense discomfort and then she becomes immortal and super-powered and the most perfect newborn vampire to have ever vampired."
And of course every person who sees the baby falls in love with it and it is unrealistically sweet and loving and never disagrees with Bella or Edward or Jacob. The only redeeming thing Renesmee does is bite Bella and Jacob. It's just...it's such blatant wish-fulfillment that it's sickening. I've never had children, but I know full well that it's nothing like that. And I also know that it's the experiences of child raising that bring the parents and child together. Bella and Edward do none of that. It's like Mervin said, she uses her daughter as a fashion accessory. Oy Meyer, how did you get this tripe published?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 04:46 pm (UTC)I mean in the hands of a competent author, it would be an interesting exploration. You could really base an entire book around the struggles of a newborn vampire as they fight to maintain their humanity while their new instincts overwhelm them at every turn, experience revulsion at what they've become (especially if they were asking for it and then realize how hideous it really is). Of course Meyer just doesn't seem capable of handling it, and instead we get... well, the chapters your sproking right now. And some intense God Mode Sueism.
Wasted potential. Especially from Renesmee. Renesmee really could have been a horror, or at least a tragedy, if Meyer was just consistent and either had her grow extremely slowly throughout, despite her mind developing at a rapid pace that her body could never keep up with, trapping her in a decades-long infantile state even as she learns and matures and wants to interact with the world, or else grew too fast, and wound up reaching adulthood at seven and a deathly old age at twenty. Just-- anything but pure happy love-love perfection.
(Then again, being used as a brood mare from the age of seven in order to pass on werewolf genes is actually pretty sick... if Meyer ever wrote that Renesmee sequel, though, I doubt it would ever be looked on like that...)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 07:01 pm (UTC)Oh, gotcha. ^^; I agree, those are always good. Heck, in the hands of a competent author, this entire series could have been really good.
"(Then again, being used as a brood mare from the age of seven in order to pass on werewolf genes is actually pretty sick... if Meyer ever wrote that Renesmee sequel, though, I doubt it would ever be looked on like that...)"
And that's why I love a lot of the Renesmee fanfiction that's cropped up. There's a lot of it where she decides that she doesn't want to marry Jacob and goes off to live her own life. Those always have her grandfathers as being awesome (in the one, she always goes fishing with Charlie and in the other Carlisle secretly sets her up a bank account for like 5 million bucks so she can run away and live on her own). Those fics tend to include Claire (like in one where she runs away with an infant Claire so she can make her choice as well). And of course there are the "adult trapped in a child's body" and "child in an adult's body" fics, which are just weird. Again, they tend to center around how weird the Jacob/Renesmee thing is. Funny how fanfiction authors can do a better job than the canon author.
Of course, almost all of those fics have reviewers who are like "It's good, but I think you missed the point of imprinting..." No they didn't, trust me. *rolls eyes*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 10:21 pm (UTC)Of course, almost all of those fics have reviewers who are like "It's good, but I think you missed the point of imprinting..." No they didn't, trust me. *rolls eyes*
i no, rite? At least they acknowledge that it's good most of the time and don't explode into rage. Still, though... somebody should point them to the meaning of the word 'deconstruction'...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 11:47 pm (UTC)"i no, rite? At least they acknowledge that it's good most of the time and don't explode into rage. Still, though... somebody should point them to the meaning of the word 'deconstruction'..."
I guess that even amongst hardcore Twilight fans, Jake/Renesmee shippers are few and far between. From what I've seen, the top contenders are Jake/Bella and Jake/Leah (that one's VERY popular). Heck, I'd imagine that people would still prefer the "Harry Potter" route, where he shows up several years later having married some woman who was never in the series.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-29 12:28 pm (UTC)If i judge from this...
http://www.fanfiction.net/book/Twilight/10/0/1/1/0/4677/5579/0/0/1/
and the popularity of these...
http://verauko.deviantart.com/gallery/#Twilight
I would have to disagree.
*goes to whimper in a corner*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-29 02:55 pm (UTC)Rule 34 for though and all. I've heard of people who've done fanfiction pairing Voldemort with Dobby. ^^; Scarily, there probably would have been people shipping those two (Jake and Renesmee I mean) if BD hadn't even done it first.
Might I join you in your whimpering?
(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-14 11:34 am (UTC)http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7657342/1/Let_me_go
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 08:15 pm (UTC)I found that really creepy when I first read it. Nessie is first a baby and then a toddler, and yet she already refers to Jacob as "my Jacob" and seems perfectly fine with him constantly hovering over her. I bet that Meyer would have her be perfectly okay with imprinting even as she grew into a teenager. That's not sweet; that's just sick.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-02 09:57 pm (UTC)Even creepier is that she apparently is supposed to have complete awareness AT BIRTH. That's right, as soon as the little bugger was born, she knew exactly what was all going on. Brrr...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 10:27 pm (UTC)If Renesmee is so self-aware and so bonded to Jacob, then what happens when she grows up? When she stays so close to him, and is so fully aware of everything? When she knows exactly what's going on-- and wants it? Demands the inevitable, and Jacob realizes that maybe something wrong with this when the seven-year old begins coming on to him. If she becomes dominant and abusive because, however old she is intellectually and physically (and all that entails), she's still as narcissistic as demanding as a child, and wants to keep Jacob all to herself. Her Jacob. "My Jacob. All mine."
And everything that entails.
There are so many ways for Renesmee to be so messed up. If any good came out of these books, it's that this little, ridiculously perfect sparklebaby is doomed to be a twisted best, one way or another. It ain't much, but it's something.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-03 11:49 pm (UTC)Put those together and you have a devious brat who knows that Jacob is eternally devoted to her and will do whatever she wants, as well as knows that there's no way that Mommy and Daddy will ever see her as anything other than an adorable angel.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-14 11:25 am (UTC)Never before have I seen something that is so messed-up on both sides.