![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Right. *rubs hands* One more chapter after this one and we will be over and done with for Jacob's point of view. And word on the grapevine is that these last two chapters are doozys, so lets see what's in store for us!
Projection Room Voices: Playing Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 17: What Do I Look Like? The Wizard Of Oz? You Need a Brain? You Need A Heart? Go Ahead. Take Mine. Take Everything I Have.
ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Meyer, that's not a title. That's a frigging paragraph.
Right, well Jacob has become all angsty from seeing Bella and Edward and Co all happy together. He runs out to the garage with the keys Edward tossed him and apparently has plans to smash the car on the return trip. And normally this would seem rather spiteful, but considering that the Cullens toss around one hundred dollar bills like confetti, they probably wouldn't even care. All of this goes out of the window when Jake sees what car he was being given to drive - an Aston Martin Vanquish. Indeed. Jacob starts to drool over the awesomeness of it. You might remember how he was a vehicle fanatic back in New Moon, when he had character traits beyond Bella Swan.
He goes zooming out, taking note of the wolves in both his own pack and Sam's watching him. Dang, he must have good eyesight. Eh, I guess it can slide, he's a wolf. Jake also contemplates getting into a car chase with a police officer, but decides not to, since the license plate info might be traced back to Edward. "Sure, he'd buy his way out of it, but it might have been just a little inconvenient for him" And you all know it's true.
And then we get back to imprinting. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
Jake starts thinking back to everything Leah said, about how imprinting will take all of his pain away. 'Cause he's living la vida loca. He decides that having his choices taken away from him was better than being heartsick over Bella. What is wrong with these people? This is not healthy! He's so obsessed with some chick that the only way he could get over her is if he lets himself be brainwashed into loving someone else? Please seek therapy!
So Jacob starts trying to figure out how to get this to work. "But I'd seen all the girls in La Push and up on the Makah rez and in Forks. I needed a wider hunting range" *stunned* Did he...just refer to finding his soul mate as "hunting"? That kind of explains a lot...
So first he considers cruising a mall and staring at random girls, but decides to pass since he doesn't want to imprint on a chick who hangs out at the mall all day. *nastily* What's the matter Jacob? Once you imprint, you won't care, will you? So, he finds a park full of people and parks across two handicapped spots. Oh, that's nice Jake, I hope some little old lady chases you down in her wheelchair because she couldn't get a place to park. He mentions that it's a nice day and there are a lot of families and kids at the park. Uhhhh kids? Jake dear, you might want to go elsewhere for an imprint search...
And then things get really creepy, as Jake starts walking through the crowd, staring at all of the girls and making notes on their appearances. No, really.
"I stared into the face of every girl who passed anywhere near me, making myself really look, noticing who was pretty and who had blue eyes and who looked good in braces and who had way too much makeup on. I tried to find something interesting about each face, so that I would know for sure that I'd really tried. Things like: This one had a really straight nose; that one should pull her hair out of her eyes; this one could do lipstick ads if the rest of her face was as perfect as her mouth...."
ZeldaQueen: Jake, have you ever heard the phrase "beggars can't be choosers"? If you're looking to imprint, the girl's looks won't matter. And Meyer, how does this seem right to you? How is wandering through a crowd, staring creepily at random people until one is brainwashed into love any better than just going up to one of the girls and saying "hey, want to get a pizza?" Plus, happen to know he won't imprint here, but what if he did? None of these girls know him, all they see is some dude staring at them. So what would happen if he just went up to one of them and started going "I love you, you are my life, want to go out?"
"Sometimes they stared back. Sometimes they looked scared–like they were thinking, Who is this big freak glaring at me? Sometimes I thought they looked kind of interested, but maybe that was just my ego running wild."
ZeldaQueen: Trust me Jacob, with what you're doing, it's the former and not the latter. Jake is starting to feel despair and mentions that "Even when I met the eyes of the girl who was–no contest–the hottest girl in the park and probably in the city, and she stared right back with a speculation that looked like interest, I felt nothing"
*snarls* YES, BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT LOOKS AND IF SHE'S INTERESTED IN YOU! NO SENSE IN YOU PUTTING FORTH ANY EFFORT TO START FEELING SOMETHING TOWARDS HER! NOPE, JUST STAND THERE LIKE THE GRAND POOBAH, READY FOR TRUE LOVE TO WHACK YOU OVER THE HEAD!
And then Jake has an epiphany, which unfortunately does not involve corrupt judges and singing homicidal barbers. He realizes that all of the qualities he'd be staring at, he'd been comparing to Bella. AUGH! *tears hair* Anyway, he gives up, deciding that its just too much hope to have randomly found his soul mate in that particular crowd. Ask someone for a date, you idiot! I know it works, I've seen it happen! I might also point out, wasn't imprinting supposed to be RARE? With most wolves never finding their imprint person? So why are they ALL trying to pair up in this?
Well, Jake heads back to his car, musing about whether or not he was a genetic dead end like Leah felt she was. As he hops back into the car, a girl calls to him and chats him up. He realizes that he'd already "cataloged" her - OH THAT'S NICE! - and talks about how she looks, in very flattering details. Of course she gets fancy adjectives like "cinnamon eyes" and "gold-colored freckles". Really. She starts some banter about whether or not he stole the car and introduces herself as Lizzie. She then starts talking about the car and Jake joins in and they sound like they're having a grand time and Jake finds that he really likes her. Except, "She was pretty. Nice enough to try to help a grouchy stranger who must seem nuts. Why couldn't she be the one? Why did everything have to be so freaking complicated? Nice girl, pretty, and sort of funny. Why not?"
*JUMPS UP AND DOWN SCREAMING* JESUS FRIG JACOB! YOU THINK SHE IS PRETTY AND NICE AND YOU SHARE COMMON INTERESTS! SHE IS CLEARLY INTERESTED IN YOU AND MADE THE FIRST MOVE! AND YOU'RE WHINING BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T IMPRINTED ON HER?!?!? JUST ASK HER OUT! ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHAT AM I SAYING, YOU PROBABLY ARE! OR ELSE YOU ARE THAT LAZY, SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T BE ARSED TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP LIKE EVERY. OTHER. PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: Hand-to-God folks, they're starting to hit it off, talking about the car, and all he thinks about is why he isn't imprinting on her when he finds her fascinating and clearly likes her! He even wonders "how to make it work". And he starts going on about how he wasn't in Leah's healthier place - NO FUCK, SHERLOCK! - and how maybe he could hook up with Lizzie if it were ten years or so after Bella died and he'd gone through the grieving thing, but there is just no way he could fall in love on his own while he's pining away over some stupid, useless, whiny chick who married someone else and thus he must "take the torture like a man".
*SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
In case you couldn't tell, I was not happy at all for that. *grumpy*
So Jacob goes off driving, leaving Lizzie behind, and starts thinking about Leah and how he could help her by keeping her around and how she's probably do the same if it were him in her place and starts to think about how close they were while hunting for the deer. This all is nice and calming me down a good bit.
Oh mother -
Folks, I'm going to try to deliver this bit all at once before I let loose.
Jacob goes back to the Cullen house, where he is met in the garage by Edward. Edward seems rather angry and says that he has to talk to Jacob about something. The conversation opens with how Jacob handles his pack and moves to Edward saying "If you can't or won't control Leah, then I–"
... Wait for it.
Jacob is of course confused by all of this, so Edward elaborates. It seems that after seeing Jacob leave, Leah came to the house to ask where he went. Edward explained things to her, but comments that "it might not have come out right". Anyway, upon hearing what happened to Jacob, Leah had phased to human form and gone off to talk to Bella.
...Wait for it.
And then, sorry for so much here, but I really can't do it justice.
"Edward got all hissy then. 'I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her–of course I wouldn't–but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her right across the river–'
'Hold on. What did she say?' None of this was making any sense.
Edward took a deep breath, composing himself. 'Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying–'
'Wait–Leah was yelling at Bella about me?'
He nodded one sharp nod. 'You were quite vehemently championed.'
Whoa. 'I didn't ask her to do that.'
'I know.'
I rolled my eyes. Of course he knew. He knew everything.
But that was really something about Leah. Who would have believed it? Leah walking into the bloodsuckers' place human to complain about how I was being treated.
'I can't promise to control Leah,' I told him. 'I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today.'
'I would say so.'
'Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me.'"
ZeldaQueen: Right then. *stretches*
EDWARD CULLEN YOU ASS, YOU HAVE GOT NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE LEAH ON ANYTHING! MEYER, BITE ME! I DO NOT FEEL THE LEAST BIT SORRY FOR BELLA HERE! I AM NOT THINKING "OH, POOR PUT-UPON BELLA, WITH THAT NASTY LEAH PILING UNNECESSARY GUILT ON HER"! WHAT I AM THINKING IS "WELL DONE LEAH, FOR SAYING WHAT OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN SAID TWO FREAKING BOOKS AGO!" I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN - BELLA SWAN IS A SPINELESS PILE OF JELLY WHO COLLAPSES AT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF CRITICISM OR ANGER. IF SHE WERE SHOWN TO HAVE BEEN STRONGER ELSEWHERE, PERHAPS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INDICATOR AS TO HOW TERRIBLE LEAH WAS. BUT GIVEN THAT BELLA DID STRING JACOB ALONG AND LEAH IS STANDING UP FOR SOMEONE SHE CARES FOR, ALL I SEE IS BELLA ACTING LIKE A BABY WITH HER HUSBAND ACTING LIKE HER FATHER GOING "YOUR DAUGHTER PICKED ON MY DAUGHTER, NOW YOU'D BETTER STRAIGHTEN HER OUT!" AND JACOB, CONSIDERING THAT BELLA HAS BEEN STRINGING YOU ALONG, THIS IS NOT ALL ON YOU!!!!
ZeldaQueen: My word, that was liberating! *stretches and grins* Now where were we? Ah yes, well, Edward starts talking about the creepy demon fetus and apparently the little bugger can understand that it's hurting Bella and is trying not to. You hear that women? Next time you're pregnant and your unborn child is kicking the heck out of you, just tell it to stop. It'll understand all of that. And the fetus already loves Bella. After knowing her for a week. And now Edward loves it, because he can't "hate anything that loves Bella". Care to explain why he was so childishly jealous of Jacob then, Meyer?
Anywho, it turns out that Carlisle has decided that the fetus has grown enough that they are just going to remove it before labor sets in. This will happen at noon tomorrow. They've got it all planned out to a "T". Well, I can't see any of this going awry, can you?
Edward asks Jacob for permission as Alpha to keep the treaty intact but let Bella be turned into a vampire. Jacob is unwilling to give permission right away (not sure why...), and goes into the living room, where Bella gives a sad puppy routine and Jake literally wishes to punch Leah in the mouth. How nice of him.
The two make stilted chit-chat, which involves Jacob insisting that Bella is not at fault for his freak-out (yeah right!) and mentally giving Edward permission to turn her. Bella is about to get up to use the bathroom again, when she accidentally knocks over the cup of blood she's been drinking. She reaches over to catch it and...oh my lord...
"There was the strangest, muffled ripping sound from the center of her body.
'Oh!' she gasped.
And then she went totally limp, slumping toward the floor. Rosalie caught her in the same instant, before she could fall. Edward was there, too, hands out, the mess on the sofa forgotten.
It was not just a scream, it was a blood-curdling shriek of agony. The horrifying sound cut off with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body twitched, arched in Rosalie's arms, and then Bella vomited a fountain of blood."
ZeldaQueen: Well this certainly makes for an interesting cliffhanger! *agitated*
And to lighten the mood, allow me to show an artists rendition of this scene, as provided by Cracked.com -
ZeldaQueen: Hold on to your hats, folks! There's only one chapter left for Jacob's section, and it's sure to be a doozy!
Onward to: Chapter 18: There Are No Words For This
Back to: Chapter 16: Too-Much-Information-Alert
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Playing Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 17: What Do I Look Like? The Wizard Of Oz? You Need a Brain? You Need A Heart? Go Ahead. Take Mine. Take Everything I Have.
ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Meyer, that's not a title. That's a frigging paragraph.
Right, well Jacob has become all angsty from seeing Bella and Edward and Co all happy together. He runs out to the garage with the keys Edward tossed him and apparently has plans to smash the car on the return trip. And normally this would seem rather spiteful, but considering that the Cullens toss around one hundred dollar bills like confetti, they probably wouldn't even care. All of this goes out of the window when Jake sees what car he was being given to drive - an Aston Martin Vanquish. Indeed. Jacob starts to drool over the awesomeness of it. You might remember how he was a vehicle fanatic back in New Moon, when he had character traits beyond Bella Swan.
He goes zooming out, taking note of the wolves in both his own pack and Sam's watching him. Dang, he must have good eyesight. Eh, I guess it can slide, he's a wolf. Jake also contemplates getting into a car chase with a police officer, but decides not to, since the license plate info might be traced back to Edward. "Sure, he'd buy his way out of it, but it might have been just a little inconvenient for him" And you all know it's true.
And then we get back to imprinting. Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
Jake starts thinking back to everything Leah said, about how imprinting will take all of his pain away. 'Cause he's living la vida loca. He decides that having his choices taken away from him was better than being heartsick over Bella. What is wrong with these people? This is not healthy! He's so obsessed with some chick that the only way he could get over her is if he lets himself be brainwashed into loving someone else? Please seek therapy!
So Jacob starts trying to figure out how to get this to work. "But I'd seen all the girls in La Push and up on the Makah rez and in Forks. I needed a wider hunting range" *stunned* Did he...just refer to finding his soul mate as "hunting"? That kind of explains a lot...
So first he considers cruising a mall and staring at random girls, but decides to pass since he doesn't want to imprint on a chick who hangs out at the mall all day. *nastily* What's the matter Jacob? Once you imprint, you won't care, will you? So, he finds a park full of people and parks across two handicapped spots. Oh, that's nice Jake, I hope some little old lady chases you down in her wheelchair because she couldn't get a place to park. He mentions that it's a nice day and there are a lot of families and kids at the park. Uhhhh kids? Jake dear, you might want to go elsewhere for an imprint search...
And then things get really creepy, as Jake starts walking through the crowd, staring at all of the girls and making notes on their appearances. No, really.
"I stared into the face of every girl who passed anywhere near me, making myself really look, noticing who was pretty and who had blue eyes and who looked good in braces and who had way too much makeup on. I tried to find something interesting about each face, so that I would know for sure that I'd really tried. Things like: This one had a really straight nose; that one should pull her hair out of her eyes; this one could do lipstick ads if the rest of her face was as perfect as her mouth...."
ZeldaQueen: Jake, have you ever heard the phrase "beggars can't be choosers"? If you're looking to imprint, the girl's looks won't matter. And Meyer, how does this seem right to you? How is wandering through a crowd, staring creepily at random people until one is brainwashed into love any better than just going up to one of the girls and saying "hey, want to get a pizza?" Plus, happen to know he won't imprint here, but what if he did? None of these girls know him, all they see is some dude staring at them. So what would happen if he just went up to one of them and started going "I love you, you are my life, want to go out?"
"Sometimes they stared back. Sometimes they looked scared–like they were thinking, Who is this big freak glaring at me? Sometimes I thought they looked kind of interested, but maybe that was just my ego running wild."
ZeldaQueen: Trust me Jacob, with what you're doing, it's the former and not the latter. Jake is starting to feel despair and mentions that "Even when I met the eyes of the girl who was–no contest–the hottest girl in the park and probably in the city, and she stared right back with a speculation that looked like interest, I felt nothing"
*snarls* YES, BECAUSE IT'S ALL ABOUT LOOKS AND IF SHE'S INTERESTED IN YOU! NO SENSE IN YOU PUTTING FORTH ANY EFFORT TO START FEELING SOMETHING TOWARDS HER! NOPE, JUST STAND THERE LIKE THE GRAND POOBAH, READY FOR TRUE LOVE TO WHACK YOU OVER THE HEAD!
And then Jake has an epiphany, which unfortunately does not involve corrupt judges and singing homicidal barbers. He realizes that all of the qualities he'd be staring at, he'd been comparing to Bella. AUGH! *tears hair* Anyway, he gives up, deciding that its just too much hope to have randomly found his soul mate in that particular crowd. Ask someone for a date, you idiot! I know it works, I've seen it happen! I might also point out, wasn't imprinting supposed to be RARE? With most wolves never finding their imprint person? So why are they ALL trying to pair up in this?
Well, Jake heads back to his car, musing about whether or not he was a genetic dead end like Leah felt she was. As he hops back into the car, a girl calls to him and chats him up. He realizes that he'd already "cataloged" her - OH THAT'S NICE! - and talks about how she looks, in very flattering details. Of course she gets fancy adjectives like "cinnamon eyes" and "gold-colored freckles". Really. She starts some banter about whether or not he stole the car and introduces herself as Lizzie. She then starts talking about the car and Jake joins in and they sound like they're having a grand time and Jake finds that he really likes her. Except, "She was pretty. Nice enough to try to help a grouchy stranger who must seem nuts. Why couldn't she be the one? Why did everything have to be so freaking complicated? Nice girl, pretty, and sort of funny. Why not?"
*JUMPS UP AND DOWN SCREAMING* JESUS FRIG JACOB! YOU THINK SHE IS PRETTY AND NICE AND YOU SHARE COMMON INTERESTS! SHE IS CLEARLY INTERESTED IN YOU AND MADE THE FIRST MOVE! AND YOU'RE WHINING BECAUSE YOU HAVEN'T IMPRINTED ON HER?!?!? JUST ASK HER OUT! ARE YOU SO STUPID? WHAT AM I SAYING, YOU PROBABLY ARE! OR ELSE YOU ARE THAT LAZY, SINCE YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN'T BE ARSED TO PUT FORTH THE EFFORT TO BUILD A RELATIONSHIP LIKE EVERY. OTHER. PERSON IN THIS WORLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: Hand-to-God folks, they're starting to hit it off, talking about the car, and all he thinks about is why he isn't imprinting on her when he finds her fascinating and clearly likes her! He even wonders "how to make it work". And he starts going on about how he wasn't in Leah's healthier place - NO FUCK, SHERLOCK! - and how maybe he could hook up with Lizzie if it were ten years or so after Bella died and he'd gone through the grieving thing, but there is just no way he could fall in love on his own while he's pining away over some stupid, useless, whiny chick who married someone else and thus he must "take the torture like a man".
*SCREAMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*
In case you couldn't tell, I was not happy at all for that. *grumpy*
So Jacob goes off driving, leaving Lizzie behind, and starts thinking about Leah and how he could help her by keeping her around and how she's probably do the same if it were him in her place and starts to think about how close they were while hunting for the deer. This all is nice and calming me down a good bit.
Oh mother -
Folks, I'm going to try to deliver this bit all at once before I let loose.
Jacob goes back to the Cullen house, where he is met in the garage by Edward. Edward seems rather angry and says that he has to talk to Jacob about something. The conversation opens with how Jacob handles his pack and moves to Edward saying "If you can't or won't control Leah, then I–"
... Wait for it.
Jacob is of course confused by all of this, so Edward elaborates. It seems that after seeing Jacob leave, Leah came to the house to ask where he went. Edward explained things to her, but comments that "it might not have come out right". Anyway, upon hearing what happened to Jacob, Leah had phased to human form and gone off to talk to Bella.
...Wait for it.
And then, sorry for so much here, but I really can't do it justice.
"Edward got all hissy then. 'I won't let Bella be upset like that again. I don't care how justified Leah thinks she is! I didn't hurt her–of course I wouldn't–but I'll throw her out of the house if it happens again. I'll launch her right across the river–'
'Hold on. What did she say?' None of this was making any sense.
Edward took a deep breath, composing himself. 'Leah was unnecessarily harsh. I'm not going to pretend that I understand why Bella is unable to let go of you, but I do know that she does not behave this way to hurt you. She suffers a great deal over the pain she's inflicting on you, and on me, by asking you to stay. What Leah said was uncalled for. Bella's been crying–'
'Wait–Leah was yelling at Bella about me?'
He nodded one sharp nod. 'You were quite vehemently championed.'
Whoa. 'I didn't ask her to do that.'
'I know.'
I rolled my eyes. Of course he knew. He knew everything.
But that was really something about Leah. Who would have believed it? Leah walking into the bloodsuckers' place human to complain about how I was being treated.
'I can't promise to control Leah,' I told him. 'I won't do that. But I'll talk to her, okay? And I don't think there'll be a repeat. Leah's not one to hold back, so she probably got it all off her chest today.'
'I would say so.'
'Anyway, I'll talk to Bella about it, too. She doesn't need to feel bad. This one's on me.'"
ZeldaQueen: Right then. *stretches*
EDWARD CULLEN YOU ASS, YOU HAVE GOT NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE LEAH ON ANYTHING! MEYER, BITE ME! I DO NOT FEEL THE LEAST BIT SORRY FOR BELLA HERE! I AM NOT THINKING "OH, POOR PUT-UPON BELLA, WITH THAT NASTY LEAH PILING UNNECESSARY GUILT ON HER"! WHAT I AM THINKING IS "WELL DONE LEAH, FOR SAYING WHAT OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN SAID TWO FREAKING BOOKS AGO!" I'VE SAID IT BEFORE, AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN - BELLA SWAN IS A SPINELESS PILE OF JELLY WHO COLLAPSES AT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF CRITICISM OR ANGER. IF SHE WERE SHOWN TO HAVE BEEN STRONGER ELSEWHERE, PERHAPS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN INDICATOR AS TO HOW TERRIBLE LEAH WAS. BUT GIVEN THAT BELLA DID STRING JACOB ALONG AND LEAH IS STANDING UP FOR SOMEONE SHE CARES FOR, ALL I SEE IS BELLA ACTING LIKE A BABY WITH HER HUSBAND ACTING LIKE HER FATHER GOING "YOUR DAUGHTER PICKED ON MY DAUGHTER, NOW YOU'D BETTER STRAIGHTEN HER OUT!" AND JACOB, CONSIDERING THAT BELLA HAS BEEN STRINGING YOU ALONG, THIS IS NOT ALL ON YOU!!!!
ZeldaQueen: My word, that was liberating! *stretches and grins* Now where were we? Ah yes, well, Edward starts talking about the creepy demon fetus and apparently the little bugger can understand that it's hurting Bella and is trying not to. You hear that women? Next time you're pregnant and your unborn child is kicking the heck out of you, just tell it to stop. It'll understand all of that. And the fetus already loves Bella. After knowing her for a week. And now Edward loves it, because he can't "hate anything that loves Bella". Care to explain why he was so childishly jealous of Jacob then, Meyer?
Anywho, it turns out that Carlisle has decided that the fetus has grown enough that they are just going to remove it before labor sets in. This will happen at noon tomorrow. They've got it all planned out to a "T". Well, I can't see any of this going awry, can you?
Edward asks Jacob for permission as Alpha to keep the treaty intact but let Bella be turned into a vampire. Jacob is unwilling to give permission right away (not sure why...), and goes into the living room, where Bella gives a sad puppy routine and Jake literally wishes to punch Leah in the mouth. How nice of him.
The two make stilted chit-chat, which involves Jacob insisting that Bella is not at fault for his freak-out (yeah right!) and mentally giving Edward permission to turn her. Bella is about to get up to use the bathroom again, when she accidentally knocks over the cup of blood she's been drinking. She reaches over to catch it and...oh my lord...
"There was the strangest, muffled ripping sound from the center of her body.
'Oh!' she gasped.
And then she went totally limp, slumping toward the floor. Rosalie caught her in the same instant, before she could fall. Edward was there, too, hands out, the mess on the sofa forgotten.
'Bella?' he asked, and then his eyes unfocused, and panic shot across his features.
It was not just a scream, it was a blood-curdling shriek of agony. The horrifying sound cut off with a gurgle, and her eyes rolled back into her head. Her body twitched, arched in Rosalie's arms, and then Bella vomited a fountain of blood."
ZeldaQueen: Well this certainly makes for an interesting cliffhanger! *agitated*
And to lighten the mood, allow me to show an artists rendition of this scene, as provided by Cracked.com -
ZeldaQueen: Hold on to your hats, folks! There's only one chapter left for Jacob's section, and it's sure to be a doozy!
Onward to: Chapter 18: There Are No Words For This
Back to: Chapter 16: Too-Much-Information-Alert
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 07:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 12:19 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 09:36 am (UTC)Urgh, I am just too weak from raging to say much else. I honelstly don't know how you can read this crap and type coherently. Kudos to you.
At least I can imagine Bella exploding and dying horribly in the next chapter. Why can't Bella end there? Jacob's book is bad, but I'm holding out that Bella's is worse.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 12:16 pm (UTC)And yes, Bella's section is AWFUL. We get the prose, her marveling over her Sue-per powers and beauty, her getting horny for Edward literally every second, everyone goinng on and on and on about her frigging Death Baby - I'll be having quite a few rants. Ought to be fun. ^^
Anyway, thanks a lot! That much closer to the end. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 10:09 am (UTC)And this is the last time we hear of Leah. After this, she's left out of the story, only to be mentioned SOME time that she's Jacob's beta. Charming. I was cheering on Leah the whole time. Interesting is the fact that Meyer chose to let Leah say those things in Jacob's POV, that is, they are simply mentioned and summarized by Edward, they are not SAID out loud by Leah. I think Meyer realized that if she wrote Leah facing Bella straight, then she would have to face with the horror and monstrosity of her heroine. Like this, it is the SAFE way, because she knows Leah was RIGHT. Also, I cannot help but think that Leah represents Meyer's haters and this is how she deals with them. She cannot answer their arguments, so she childishly belittles them through her work, "showing them".
Jacob was Meyer's haters throughout the whole Eclipse and he still is. He will always be, until his choices are stolen from him, imprints and finds his soul mate, so he wouldn't try anything on his own and be a good, obedient boy.
And in the next chapter, the shit hit the fan. Meyer, the one who has said that she never watched 13+ movies, who cannot stand "Interview with a Vampire", the one who hates blood and guts, writes the most disturbing, disgusting birth scene of all times. The only reason I can find is to whine how difficult giving birth was for her, how much it HURT, how much EFFORT it took and how much she ruined her body, by giving her weight. IT. JUST. FITS.
She didn't write the birth scene and Leah's speech from her (Bella's) POV, because she would have to ADMIT some things to herself. And we cannot do that, can we? We cannot let reality ruin this little fantasy we're living in...
I hate her. But, I love this. I am evil enough to be eager for your reactions in the next chapter.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 12:13 pm (UTC)I suppose if one was charitable, they could chalk up the lack of Leah in Bella's section to the POV. That is, Leah likes Jacob so she hangs around him and talks to him, but hates Bella (sensible woman) so she avoids her. But I'm not feeling charitable, not after watching Bella acting like a complete baby around her. And that's not even going into the fact that Leah worked far harder in regards to her power and actually used it to help people. Bella gets hers by virtue of having a perfect, rich, sparkly husband.
I do have to admit, I really did want to know how Leah's speech went. You're right, it probably would have pointed out EXACTLY what was screwed up with this all.
Thanks you! I'm kind of looking forward to next chapter myself. Thanks for reading! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 07:56 pm (UTC)And once again, Jacob proves himself to be an utter sexist hypocrite. He tells Leah that she's wrong to wish that she could imprint and what does he do? He tries to force a connection onto random girls just so that he won't be lonely. I mean, I could understand if he was desperate to imprint just so that if the time came when he really did imprint and he happened to be with someone at the time, he wouldn't break her heart and mess the relationship up (a.k.a. what happened with Sam and Leah). But there's no mention of that here. Jacob doesn't say or think, "I should try to imprint just in case, since I don't want to end up like Leah and Sam." No, he just sees these girls as faceless entities that he needs in order to fill the aching hole in his chest.
These girls are *people,* Jacob. Using them to solve your own pain is no better than what Bella did to you. darkslover is right, you *are* trying to enslave them. You're basically trying to groom them the same way that Quil is grooming Claire; the only difference is that they're the same age as you (and, yes, I know that this is coming back to bite me when Nessie shows up). What about *their* feelings? You think that *they'd* be thrilled if you did manage to imprint on them? And I love how you basically focus everything on their looks. That's not shallow or stupid at all, right? Jerk.
As for you, Edward, just shut up. I know that she acts like one, but Bella isn't a toddler. She's a big girl who deliberately chose to manipulate Leah's "friend" (I put it in quotation marks because of how Jacob treats her) and break his heart. The only reason why you're excusing Bella's behavior is because you persist in viewing her as a selfless angel and because it didn't hurt you - it *helped* you, even. Leah was *not* being "unnecessarily harsh." Bella deserved every single word that Leah threw at her. It's about time that your coddled little wife didn't have somebody worshipping the ground beneath her feet and swallowing her nonsense. You just can't see that Bella is a spineless, manipulative, spoiled brat whose behavior should have been condemned and punished ages ago.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-04-24 11:51 pm (UTC)http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5377730/1/Leah_1_Cullens_Nada#
(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-24 07:40 pm (UTC)Well, that and
A) It would make Leah badass, and
B) We can't have the head Sue ACTUALLY SUFFER, can we? I think she's barely even conscious during the birth. If she isn't out cold, then she's already something inhuman to have such an insane pain threshold.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 11:47 pm (UTC)Aawww. Homicidal barbers would have made Twilight awesome. Either that or a sweet transvestite (C'mon. Tim Curry can make anything fun-cool).
And Leah, darling, you did nothing wrong. It was about time somebody called Bella on her crap. It's too bad that we don't get the satisfaction of hearing it. Then again, Meyer would have ruined it. Maybe it is better on my head.
And Jacob, you lazy balless jerk. My God, so your first love didn't work? How sad for you. Obviously you are the only person to suffer through this and you will never recover [/sarcasm] DUDE! Just eat a pint of ice cream, hang with friends, fix some cars and try to look for your detached testicles (which I'm sure you sent in an envelop to Ms Swan like every other male on this goddamned book)
Honestly, what happened to being single? Or meeting people in a normal way? I assure you neither can kill you, it just takes effort.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-01 11:54 pm (UTC)Agreed! Hey, Tim Curry was also King Arthur in "Spamalot". Bring the Knights of the Round Table in, that'd *really* help stuff. :D
"And Leah, darling, you did nothing wrong. It was about time somebody called Bella on her crap. It's too bad that we don't get the satisfaction of hearing it. Then again, Meyer would have ruined it. Maybe it is better on my head."
Indeed. Look at how she screwed up Jacob. Well, there's always fanfiction...
"And Jacob, you lazy balless jerk. My God, so your first love didn't work? How sad for you. Obviously you are the only person to suffer through this and you will never recover [/sarcasm] DUDE! Just eat a pint of ice cream, hang with friends, fix some cars and try to look for your detached testicles (which I'm sure you sent in an envelop to Ms Swan like every other male on this goddamned book)"
Right. Meyer is really failing in that particular regard because it's not like this basic formula hasn't happened before. She's just added vampires and werewolves and said "Now it's the most unique thing ever!"
"Honestly, what happened to being single? Or meeting people in a normal way? I assure you neither can kill you, it just takes effort."
What? You expect Ms Meyer's wonderful literary characters to not get the happy endings they deserve unless they put forth *effort*? The horror! D:< [/sarcasm]
Thanks for reading! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-22 01:16 am (UTC)I love Leah in these books. She's the only character who seems to be aware of just how fucked up everyone's obsession with Bella really is.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-11 09:27 pm (UTC)Not to mention, it's longer than the
prefaceprologue.(no subject)
Date: 2012-07-14 11:14 am (UTC)This is something I keep worrying about. I've an intention of writing a Vampire Academy (which has awesome dhampyrs)/Twilight crossover, or maybe a Harry Potter/Twilight crossover, where a werewolf imprints on, say, Hermione or Ginny, who would just think, 'What. The. Hell. Is. WRONG. With. You?!'
Because really, he HAS to talk to the girl THAT moment, otherwise she'll be gone and he might never see her again (which would be an interesting twist). So this random boy comes up to you, says he loves you or maybe he tries small talk first - and what if he isn't your type? What if you're busy? What if you're a lesbian? There are so many ways this can - and would - go wrong in real life!
Let's look at the Imprintees:
1. Emily. Didn't want to, was forced after Sam mauled her
2. Claire. Is two/three years old, doesn't know any better
3. Kim. Jared got lucky, a girl he already knew and liked him!
4. Renesmee: Newborn baby.
The ONLY one remotely 'normal' would be Kim, but even she should freak out when a boy who hardly speaks to her start going, 'OMG I LOVE YOU TRUE LOVE WE SHOULD MATE'. Most people want to grow into a relationship, get to know someone.