Hush, Hush: Chapter 24

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: In which we get more angel mythology, and it still makes little sense

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

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Chapter 24

ZeldaQueen: So, after... *glances at last recap* the events of the previous chapter, Nora once again dives into Patch's memories. And of course, seeing as this entire plot is so contrived, there's certainly no chance that she just catches him having a quiet afternoon, sitting on a park bench and telling strangers how life is like a box of chocolates.
No, instead she wakes up (still in her camisole, as Fitzpatrick feels the need to remind us) next to a skeleton. Of course she does. I'm not entirely sure where, exactly, this is supposed to be taking place at. I'm going to have to assume it's a cemetery outside of a town or something, although I'm confused as to why a skeleton would be lying exposed and above ground in relatively modern times.

And yes, this is relatively modern times, because Patch is there and he's wearing Levis and a navy T-shirt. He's crawling around on top of some gravestones, doing...something. I really don't know what. I think the only reason Fitzpatrick chose this location was because she wanted it to be creepy.

Anyway, Rixon shows up and makes an unfunny joke about Patch hanging around dead people. We get an infodump from him to Patch about how it's going to be Cheshvan starting at midnight, and they need to find Chauncey and some dude named Barnabas by then. Ah yes, Chauncey! Remember him? If you don't (and I don't blame you, if that's the case), he was the guy Patch mind raped in the prologue and forced an oath of fealty and a favor from. That's right. We're twenty-four chapters into a thirty-chapter story and the prologue is only being explained now. Good lord.

Patch isn't as excited as Rixon at the prospect of hijacking an unwilling victim's body, but it's not because he feels bad about it or anything, oh no. Empathy is for idiots who aren't Patch. No, you see much like Gaston, he's evolving a plan. Rixon is worried about this, and continues to try to talk Patch into possessing Chauncey like a good chap, while going on about his plans to use Barnabas (the dude he possesses) to get funky with a girl who was eying him up earlier. That ought to take some explaining on his part given the body swap and all, unless the girl had actually been eyeing up Barnabas and Rixon also fancied her. If that's the case, that's just nasty.

But no, Patch won't let up on his plan. Instead of leaving the graveyard, he asks Rixon what he knows about the Book of Enoch. Rixon replies "About as much as any fallen angel: slim to none" and I must pause to ask WHY?

This really is one of the things that confuses me to no end. The way they talk about the Book of Enoch, it's like it's neigh impossible to read it. I ignored Dabria being all freaked about Patch reading it, because it was implied that he read it before falling and that what was forbidden. Here though, they're both on Earth, they both can go wherever they please, and clearly the other angels can't be bothered to interfere with anything they do. The exact date isn't given and modern Levis jeans were first produced in 1920, so I could buy that the internet isn't available. But c'mon, surely they could find it in a library! The way they talk about it, it's like Milo finding  the Shepherd's Diary. Is this supposed to be some secret version of the Book of Enoch that we don't know about or something?

*rubs head* Anyway, Patch finally spills the beans on why he's so interested in the Book of Enoch. Apparently there's a story in there about a fallen angel who becomes human, and that's exactly what Patch wants - a human body.

*pauses*

*raises eyebrow*

Right, let's look at the two parts of that.

First of all, from what I've gathered, Fitzpatrick completely made up that story about the fallen angel who becomes human. Now I've never read the Book of Enoch so if I'm wrong, please correct me. I've poked around though, and I've found scant information on angels turning into humans from actual religious roots (that is, not made up for a movie or show). Of the few things I found, they are (A) of very dubious authenticity and (B) in no way related to the Book of Enoch.

In other words, Fitzpatrick took an actual religious text, one which is considered canon by some sects such as the Ethiopian and Etriean Orthodox Churches and which anybody can look up and which is widely available, and made up a story and put it in. There's no handwave for it, not even something like "Well, the story was removed very long ago and most people have never heard of it". Nope, she just made it up.

That's all kinds of fail there, Fitzpatrick. Really, I don't have much to say about that. Well, actually I kind of do. That right there is on par with Meyer and her appropriation of the Quileute folklore and mythology. Taking real-world stuff like that and twisting it to suit your story is not very nice, you know. Not to mention, nonsensical. This isn't some AU where the Book of Enoch is more difficult to find or has different contents. Why should we buy it? This is our world. Anyone reading this sporking could pull it up online in ten seconds and see this is all baloney. What was Fitzpatrick thinking when she just threw that out without any further development?

Now, let us look at the second part of that. The bit about Patch wanting to be human.

Right. The story about the vampire or werewolf or angel or demon or spirit or what-have-you wanting to be human is a tried and true formula. Almost always, it involves the idea that humans have some trait that is admirable to the whatever-it-is. Free will. The ability to love. Loyalty. Comradery. The fact that the nonhuman wants to be human endears him to the audience, because of course we're all human.

That being said, I do not buy for a minute that Patch wants to be human. Oh, he says he does, but guess what? He doesn't show any signs of wanting to be human. He hardly interacts with anyone at all, outside of Nora and the people he hustles at pool. He has, in no way at all, shown any admiration for humanity. Honestly, him saying "I want to be human" makes me just scratch my head and ask why. What does he plan on doing if he does become human? If anything, he'd wind up arrested within a week because he has no family, no friends, constantly skips school, doesn't participate in class when he does attend, and spends all of his free time playing paintball, gambling, and hanging around a bar. I think it's safe to say that the only reason he hasn't been arrested yet is because he can mindrape people into not being able to see him (that, and Fitzpatrick has lobotomized everyone in this world to turn a blind eye to his constant harrasment and inappropriate behavior towards Nora). He shows no desire in connecting to people. He shows no desire to be a contributing member of society. In short, I can't believe he wants to be human BECAUSE HE IN NO WAY SHOWS HE WANTS TO BE A MEMBER OF THE HUMAN RACE!

Quick example, and a shameless plug to a favorite fanfiction of mine. In The Weekly Hyrule News, there is a character named Dark. Dark is not human. He is a shadow who was yoinked from his dimension to kill the hero, Link. Dark decides he doesn't want to though, and takes human form to dodge being forced into the mission. Dark is a prominent character throughout the story. He gets a part-time job at an ice cream shop, where he enjoys singing for customers. He gives Link dating advice. He tells one of the protagonists that she looks pretty, because he thinks she does and likes complimenting people. He saves another one of the protagonists from a monster by having her hide in a Denny's. He saves Link by beating a monster's head in with a board with nails in it, which he lovingly dubbed "Excaliboard". He loves hanging out with goths, tells stupid jokes, devours lots of pancakes, and considers Link to be his brother and the other protagonists to be his surrogate family. Thus, with all of that, it is believable that Dark enjoys being human.

That, Fitzpatrick, is the difference. And now I'm sorely tempted to go off and read that fanfiction again, instead of finishing this sporking. Still, I shall fight onward.

Rixon laughs at Patch for that bit of idiocy, but not because he's apparently spouting off made-up stories from real-life texts. No, it's because "The Book of Enoch is a bedtime story". Of course, it isn't possibly real! Don't even think it is! Just ignore the smell of all those dead herrings, everyone.

Patch continues to whine about how he wants a human body, and Rixon continues to yammer on about how it's impossible and the best Patch can do is possess Chauncey, and Christ, this is all so boring. I suppose I should be grateful. The boredom is dulling the anger I'm feeling that Our Heroic Male Lead is treating the guy he mindraped and essentially enslaved like a complete nonentity. Patch seems quite determined to respond to that though, because the next thing out of his mouth is how he intends to kill Chauncey to get a human body.

Bluh. What?

Yes, according to this book's angelic canon, if a fallen angel kills his Nephilim vassal, he gets a human body. Apparently this was all written in the Book of Enoch. I guess it's on those invisible pages that everyone tends to overlook. And yes, that's all the explanation we get for it. It makes no sense. None. One would think that something significant like getting a human body would require some sort of interference from God, given that humans are the favorites and all. Not to mention that, from what I understand, fallen angels really aren't given a chance for any sort of redemption like humans are, given that angels knew firsthand the magnificence of God and still turned from it (which would also put a damper on that bit about regaining angelic status by just saving a person's life). From this, I can honestly only conclude that there are angels but not God. Really. We never hear about Him in this book or the sequel, so unless He's saving Himself for a big appearance in the third book, this is one messed-up world.

Also, I'd like to remind you all that Nora is still around. I thought I'd bring that up, because once again we've lapsed into her just watching what's going on, while giving absolutely no feedback or input of her own thoughts. I can only hope that this is sloppy writing, because otherwise she just learned that her boyfriend wants to kill someone to get a human body and isn't reacting at all.

Rixon gets impatient and makes it clear that he has Manly Urges that girl in town needs to tend to. Patch brings up that he has two choices. Either kill Chauncey and become human, or save a human and become a guardian angel. He explains to Rixon that Dabria told him about the latter option. Rixon starts going on about how Dabria is Patch's "psychotic ex", which is fucking rich when we see how Nora acts in Crescendo.

Anyway, Rixon starts urging Patch to take the offer guardian angel offer, because "Spending your days keeping mortals out of danger ... could be fun, depending on the mortal you're assigned".

*stares* Yes, I can only conclude that whatever system the angels have set up is severely screwy. Because seriously? What the heck? WHAT THE HECK? These are the angels that are going to be taking care of us? The ones that view guardian angelship as a means to an end and possibly entertainment, without giving a single thought to the fact that people's lives are depending on them? I wouldn't mind if the angels in this universe were supposed to be unbelievably arrogant and self-centered, but these are supposed to be the heroes! The guys we root for!

Also, I have to once again scratch my head and wonder if Fitzpatrick has a different set of definitions for words than the ones most people use. Because Rixon comments that "I'm half considering the deal myself. Too bad I don't know any humans on the brink of death" and generally acts like finding a person in danger of death is an extremely difficult thing to do. Normally I'd guess that there's some specifications except...we see later that there really isn't. It's just what it sounds like. Find someone about to die and save them. That's it.

Right. I've got to keep going. Focus, girl.

Rixon randomly starts fighting with Patch, only to abruptly halt out of fear of geting a busted lip and looking bad for the ladies as a result. Um, wasn't he on his way to possess somebody? Why would a bloody lip matter if he's not going to be in his own?

Ah well, it doesn't matter. The memory ends at that point, and Nora finds herself back in the motel room. Thank Father Christmas, Patch does not attack her this time. She confirms that he's a fallen angel, coming to the conclusion that every single one of us has come to on page one. She then starts trying to figure out Patch's motives, which sounds uncannily like Bella asking if Edward is Superman. Patch even asks her "You think I'm a bad guy?" which, besides sounding rather similar to "What if I'm the bad guy?" makes me bristle because what do you think, you asshole? Yes, if someone attacked me like you attacked Nora in the last chapter, I'd think they were a bad guy. I'd think the same of anyone who also stalked me, belittled me, and generally forced his will upon me which, look at that, is what you also did to Nora.

But then again, I guess I'm an unromantic jerk because Nora certainly doesn't think of any of that. Instead, she brings up how he possesses people's bodies. Please note that this is pretty much the only time she shows negative emotions towards him body-jacking innocent people. She asks if he wants to possess her body as well, and he replies "I want to do a lot of things to your body, but that's not one of them"

...Fitzpatrick. After the events of last chapter, DON'T. Just...DON'T.

So yeah, at this point we get what is pretty much the only downside there is to being an angel - Patch has no feeling. Or, as he describes it

"My body is a lot like glass. Real, but outward, reflecting the world around me. You see and hear me, and I see and hear you. When you touch me, you feel it. I don't experience you in the same way. I can't feel you. I experience everything through a sheet of glass, and the only way I can cut through that sheet is by possessing a human body"

ZeldaQueen: I suspect that Fitzpatrick was going for something like the Black Pearl's cursed crew in the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Too long we've been starving without dying and all of that. Like I said above though, it still doesn't work. Honestly, I never got the impression that Patch was suffering for being unable to feel things. Maybe Fitzpatrick intended for there to be, but we never see it. Really, it feels like Fitzpatrick just wanted a token bit of suffering for Patch, to make him sympathetic and get us to overlook his behavior. Oh, that poor boy! He's so tormented, unable to feel things! I simply must forgive the stalking and abuse! *emo tear*

(And yes, I have seen idiot fans who do think that his "I want to be human so I can feel" schtick forgives him of his treatment of Nora. REALLY)

I'd also like to add that being unable to feel things is a real disease. gehayi commented on beautifully here, and I highly recommend reading it. For those who don't or can't though, the upshot is that being unable to feel things in reality causes a ton of health-related issues. You don't know if you've sliced your finger open with a knife, or if you're cutting off the circulation in your leg the way you're sitting, or if your skin is being burnt. And because you can't feel it, you don't know those things are happening, so you don't see medical treatment. You constantly need to check yourself over. In the typical Mary Sue fashion though, Patch isn't given any of those drawbacks. That he can't feel if he needs to go to the bathroom or not? Never brought up. That he could be shanked and not notice that he's bleeding to death? Apparently can't happen, seeing as he doesn't have a human body. Fitzpatrick had a fine set-up for a genuine reason for Patch to hate having no sense of feeling, and it's almost completely ignored.

*shakes head* I just can't keep on track, can I?

Nora pretty much repeats everything we already know about Nephilim, and Patch finds out what memory she saw. She asks why he kissed her if he has no sense of feeling, because of course that is something important right now. He replies that he still feels emotions, and I can just hear the idiot fangirls sighing over how dreamy that is. The last chapter? What's that?

Nora gets all flustered at that, and asks why he fell. He says it was because of lust, which Nora for some reason thinks means "Money lust". Nora, have you been paying attention to the book you're in at all? He specifies that got all hot for a human girl, and deliberately fell because he thought that it would make him human. We get something here which is actually kind of interesting - Patch says that when the original angels Fell for *sigh* tempting Eve, the entire thing was done quietly and thus none of the other angels knew what being a fallen angel entailed. That brief bit over, we go back to the boring stuff we already know or probably already figured out.

This leads to Nora asking about him being a guardian angel and why he's so set against it. Personally, I'd say it's because he's a little bastard who wants to do whatever he wants, and hates the idea of actually being held to a job and shouldering responsibility. His answer is that "It's not for [him]". That's the answer he gives. What a fantastic response to justify killing someone who you've been dragging around and using as a slave/glove for a couple of centuries!

Of course Nora ignores that bit, because who cares that her Darling Dearest wants to kill someone? She wants to ask about Dabria, and ask questions which are obviously her fishing to find out if she's competition or not. Patch is confused at this, because he had no idea that Dabria was still on Earth. Nora gets a Sinking Feeling and tells him that Dabria warned her to stay away from him, coming to the conclusion that "Something about this is off, isn't it?" No, Nora. A therapist telling you to stay away from a guy like Patch is completely normal. But don't worry, folks. I have a rant about that all ready. I'm just holding onto it for a chapter or so.

Patch and Nora both start panicking and making plans on how to deal with this development because never mind that Elliot tried to throttle Nora. Never mind that it was only in the last damned chapter that Patch attacked her and frightened her nearly to tears. Never mind that Ms Greene has done absolutely nothing in this book to warrant fear or the thought that she might try to get Nora offed. No, clearly Dabria is the one they should be worrying about!



So Patch runs off to get the Jeep, and Nora conveniently doesn't reflect on how he lied about it being broken to trap her in the motel room, or why he took her to the motel room at all, if the Jeep worked fine and he didn't have unhonorable intentions. Instead, she drudges up her memories of the ski mask person (yeah, remember that person?) and figures that it could have been Dabria. Nora thinks how "At this point, I wouldn't put it past Dabria to deceive us both", because clearly the fact that she urged Nora to avoid her stalker and tried to convince Patch not to kill someone makes her a horrible bitch.

I need a rest

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Onward to: Chapter 25

Back to: Chapter 23 (Part 2)

Return to to: Table of Contents

Comments

[das-mervin.livejournal.com]

Patch says that when the original angels Fell for *sigh* tempting Eve, the entire thing was done quietly and thus none of the other angels knew what being a fallen angel entailed.

Yes. Lucifer's temptation of Eve and thus humanity's subsequent banishment from Eden was a very quiet event and didn't even make page three of Heaven's newsletter. And I had no idea the temptation of Eve was done by a lot of angels! See, I thought Lucifer fell for his pride and trying to take over Heaven, and he took a third of the angels with him. Learn something new every day.

This idiot apparently saw "Angels are forbidden to fornicate with human women" and immediately thought "FORBIDDEN ROMANCE, YAY!!!!"

No. Just. No. Not even the Sexy Bitch God would approve of this bullshit, and he was out of his mind.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"This idiot apparently saw "Angels are forbidden to fornicate with human women" and immediately thought 'FORBIDDEN ROMANCE, YAY!!!!'"

Well, according to her website, it's more like she saw fallen beings who are, by most standards, demons in all but name and thought "An excuse for a bad-boy sexy romance! :D"

[carmyn]

Jesus, you weren't kidding about the prologue thing, weren't you?! I don't even remember the prologue!

Oh, of course Dabria is the bad guy. Uh huh, she's the threatening one. What an awesome moral to teach young girls? That guy who stalks you, belittles you, and abuses you? Your soulmate. That woman who tells you to stay away from your stalker and has done absolutely nothing otherwise, even better that she's a THERAPIST, oh, she's an evil bitch who wants to ruin your life. Thanks, Fitzpatrick, it's not like the Mental Health and Domestic Abuse Associations are having a hard enough time trying to convince these girl to seek help with out your help!

Fucking idiot.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I have a rant about the Dabria thing along those lines. That's all I thought when I read it. What the heck, Fitzpatrick?

[carmyn]

I really hope, when you rant about Dabria, you touch on the very 'anti-mental health' thing. It's subtle, but it still speaks volumes. It's just as bad as when Bella based psychotheraphy in New Moon. Pisses me off to no end, that kind of thinking kills people, in my most humble opinion.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

The therapist angle? Ohhh yeah. That's the center of the rant, really.

Fallen Angels--the Mormon Version

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Patch says that when the original angels Fell for *sigh* tempting Eve, the entire thing was done quietly and thus none of the other angels knew what being a fallen angel entailed.

Enter Mormon theology. This version--based on Abraham 3: 21-28 and Moses 4:1-4--is for kids, but I'll take what I can get.

Before this earth was organized so that we could live on it, we lived very happily as spirit children of our heavenly parents. Our spirits looked like the physical bodies that we have now, and each spirit had a distinct personality with strengths and weaknesses. While in this spirit world, we grew until we could no longer progress without a physical body. We wanted to prove our worthiness to become like our Heavenly Father, and we were anxious to receive a physical body and to enter a time of testing.

This explains why Patch wants to become human. It has nothing to do with admiring humanity; he's basically stuck in kindergarten, and he has to become human if he's to advance and gain any spiritual power and authority. Also, please remember--for a Mormon male, "become like your Heavenly Father" is not advice to be kind, merciful, just, compassionate, etc. It means, "Do God's will, become spiritually advanced, and someday, you too will be a god with a planet of your own." If you're a Mormon man, humanity is just a step on the road to to eventual godhood.

Anyway, God calls a council meeting of all the souls ever and tells them that He's creating Earth and is going to give each soul a physical body and free will, so that they could voluntarily choose right. Of course, God knows that some people will choose wrong, especially since, in physical form, they won't remember, but no worries, He'll send someone to teach them the Gospel. And oh, by the way, there will need to be a Savior. Jesus volunteers.

Then Lucifer, another of God’s spirit sons, said “Behold, here am I; send me. I will be thy son, and I will redeem all mankind, that one soul shall not be lost, and surely I will do it; wherefore give me thine honor.”

Basically, in Mormon thinking, it's not about Lucifer wanting to take over Heaven and be worshiped as God. It's about Lucifer thinking he would make a better Savior than his older brother, Jesus. And a third of God's "spirit children" agree with him.

Well, war does NOT divide Heaven. It's more like a long, tedious quarrel that divides a family. The story goes on:

Heavenly Father loved these spirit children, but because they were rebellious and refused to obey, they were no longer worthy to remain with him. Because they had rejected the plan, they could not be born on the earth and receive physical bodies. The only thing that could be done was to cast them out of heaven.

Notice that they aren't thrown into Hell. They seem to be wandering around the Earth as bodiless spirits.

As for the bit about multiple fallen angels tempting Eve? I think this is where she got it.

And Satan put it into the heart of the serpent, (for he had drawn away many after him,) and he sought also to beguile Eve, for he knew not the mind of God, wherefore he sought to destroy the world.

The idea seems to be that all of Lucifer's followers simultaneously aided him in tempting Eve. Whether this is accurate, I don't know, but I think that's how Fitzpatrick took it.

Re: Fallen Angels--the Mormon Version

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"This explains why Patch wants to become human. It has nothing to do with admiring humanity; he's basically stuck in kindergarten, and he has to become human if he's to advance and gain any spiritual power and authority. Also, please remember--for a Mormon male, "become like your Heavenly Father" is not advice to be kind, merciful, just, compassionate, etc. It means, 'Do God's will, become spiritually advanced, and someday, you too will be a god with a planet of your own.' If you're a Mormon man, humanity is just a step on the road to to eventual godhood."

...Yes, because if anyone deserves more spiritual power and authority, it's Patch.

Makes sense though. Nora does nothing throughout the sequel but whine about how it isn't FAIR Patch had to pass on his chance for a human body (which is infinitely stupid when you consider what, exactly, that chance meant). I think it's safe to say that Fitzpatrick also thinks that that jerk deserves it as well.

I see what you're saying on the temptation of Eve.

Still, the fallen angels bit doesn't make sense for this book. She's pretty clearly trying to model it after the fall of the Watchers in the Book of Enoch, what with Patch falling because of lust for a human woman. The Book of Enoch is the only religious text referenced at all in this book. Therefore, one would assume that the fallen angels referenced were supposed to be the Watchers. If it wasn't supposed to follow the Book of Enoch like that, she should have specified that there was a difference. >_<

Also, even within terms of the Book of Mormon, her mythology doesn't make much sense.

"Basically, in Mormon thinking, it's not about Lucifer wanting to take over Heaven and be worshiped as God. It's about Lucifer thinking he would make a better Savior than his older brother, Jesus. And a third of God's 'spirit children' agree with him."

Because according to that oh-so-helpful website Nora visited, the first fallen angels were thrown out for their lust for human women and power and wanting to have dominion over Earth.

I don't even. My head hurts.

Re: Fallen Angels--the Mormon Version

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Because according to that oh-so-helpful website Nora visited, the first fallen angels were thrown out for their lust for human women and power and wanting to have dominion over Earth.

It sounds like she's conflating the story of the original Fallen with the story of a group of second-wave fallen angels--the Grigori, or Watchers. Here's what I found out about them, courtesy of an urban fantasy fanfic I wrote:

The Grigori.

There's not a lot about them. Hell's bells, most of the references to them nowadays are in fantasy lit or roleplaying games. However, they also show up in a few apocryphal writings. Basically, they're fallen angels--not the original Fallen, but the guys who ended up having sex with mortal women around the time of Noah. Yeah, that Noah. Nowadays they're supposed to be demon spirits who are eternally hungering and thirsting for food and drink. And they'll do just about anything to get what they want. Including possessing a body and evicting the soul of the original owner.

If Fitzpatrick is mixing up the story of the original Fallen with the story of the Grigori, that has nothing to do with Mormonism. She's just an idiot.

Still, the fallen angels bit doesn't make sense for this book. She's pretty clearly trying to model it after the fall of the Watchers in the Book of Enoch, what with Patch falling because of lust for a human woman. The Book of Enoch is the only religious text referenced at all in this book. Therefore, one would assume that the fallen angels referenced were supposed to be the Watchers. If it wasn't supposed to follow the Book of Enoch like that, she should have specified that there was a difference. >_<

I agree. It really doesn't fit well. And the Book of Enoch says fuck-all about fallen angels being forgiven or redeemed. In fact, it says the opposite. First, God tells Michael to drive the Nephilim (a.k.a. gigantic cannibalistic angel-human hybrids) to mutual slaughter, and then pronounces sentence on the Watchers:

And when all their sons shall be slain, when they shall see the perdition of their beloved, bind them for seventy generations underneath the earth, even to the day of judgment, and of consummation, until the judgment, the effect of which will last for ever, be completed.

Then shall they be taken away into the lowest depths of the fire in torments; and in confinement shall they be shut up for ever.

"In confinement shall they be shut up forever"? Yeah, not seeing a lot of ways that a fallen angel can be redeemed.

I suspect that the Book of Enoch is Fitzpatrick's version of Meyer's Alaskan weather. Alaska is one of the sunniest states in America--yet Meyer puts two covens in Alaska, apparently thinking that if it's cold, it must be dark and stormy. Fitzpatrick seems to have heard of the Book of Enoch but doesn't seem to have read it. In either case, five to ten minutes with Google would have told them that they were screwing up major plot points. They just didn't bother to do so.

Re: Fallen Angels--the Mormon Version

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that description is pretty much these fallen angels to a T. Except that their motives are stolen from the original Fallen. So yeah, she's an idiot.

Actually, I suspect the Book of Enoch is closer to Meyer's lobishomen/Quileute mythology. Fitzpatrick probably found it, thought it was cool, and added her own "twists" to it, not bothering to consider that it's someone's actual faith she's messing with. -_-

Re: Fallen Angels--the Mormon Version

[gehayi.livejournal.com]

Actually, I suspect the Book of Enoch is closer to Meyer's lobishomen/Quileute mythology. Fitzpatrick probably found it, thought it was cool, and added her own "twists" to it, not bothering to consider that it's someone's actual faith she's messing with.

Oooh. Yes, that's an even better analogy.

[witty-screename.livejournal.com]

Maybe I just missed it, but did Fitzpatrick explain how the body-possessing works in this universe? Patch says he wants to possess a body, but I was under the impression he already was, because, well...how else is he walking around on earth? I figured angels couldn't walk around on this plane since they're spiritual beings, but are her angels allowed to? Are they not spiritual? Did Fitzpatrick ever explain this?

Also, a Denny's in Hyrule? I must read that fic...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

From what I can gather, fallen angels get a sort-of body of their own, which lets them walk and pick up stuff, but doesn't let them feel anything. A human or part-human body lets them feel things. I really don't know. That's all the explanation we get.

Oh, it's an awesome fic! XD It's basically like if the Legend of Zelda was in a modern-day setting, instead of a medieval one. It's still its own universe, but similar to ours. And the characters are so much fun! I'm just disappointed, because the author stopped her Zelda fics partway through the sequel. (Even more disappointing is that before she made that decision, she posted her version of Veran and Onox, who would have been the villains in another sequel, and now it looks like we won't get them. :( )

[witty-screename.livejournal.com]

*massages temples* I really don't get these Suethors and their aversion to anything mythical or world-building. Figuring out how your angels possess bodies or come down to earth sounds like the fun part of the writing process to me. Don't get me wrong, designing characters is awesome, but it seems like all they care about is making their Stus as angsty as possible and their Sues as yooneek as possible. That's why Patch being an angel doesn't really matter in this story. Or Edward being a vampire. Or even Zoey Redbird being a vampire. They have no mythological aspects or world-building to back them up. They're just pretty dudes and girls who you can't hurt. What they are really doesn't have any meaning to the story. They could be fairies and no one would be the wiser.

And that, Suethors, is shitty writing.

Yeah, I'll definitely check it out! :D I know what you mean about being disappointed; a lot the fics I like stop after a few chapters (or if I'm really lucky, right at a cliffhanger) and all the ones I hate somehow get 40+ chapters and sequels. *cough* Holly Potter *cough* -_-

[achtanablah.livejournal.com]

I'd also like to add that being unable to feel things is a real disease. gehayi commented on beautifully here, and I highly recommend reading it. For those who don't or can't though, the upshot is that being unable to feel things in reality causes a ton of health-related issues. You don't know if you've sliced your finger open with a knife, or if you're cutting off the circulation in your leg the way you're sitting, or if your skin is being burnt. And because you can't feel it, you don't know those things are happening, so you don't see medical treatment. You constantly need to check yourself over. In the typical Mary Sue fashion though, Patch isn't given any of those drawbacks. That he can't feel if he needs to go to the bathroom or not? Never brought up. That he could be shanked and not notice that he's bleeding to death? Apparently can't happen, seeing as he doesn't have a human body. Fitzpatrick had a fine set-up for a genuine reason for Patch to hate having no sense of feeling, and it's almost completely ignored.


Now I can't stop picturing that Patch here is like the character from Stieg Larsson's "Millenium Trilogy" who had this disease..and who also happened to be a complete monster. Auuuugh.

[turtlecrackers.livejournal.com]

Does this mean we can nail Patch's feet to the floor? 83 Because after the last chapter, that would actually be a bit therapeutic.

[achtanablah.livejournal.com]

Lisbet Salander would totally kick Patch's ass if she was in the story.

[turtlecrackers.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely. She could kick his ass with her eyes closed. After what she went through in the books, going up against Patch would be like a walk in the park.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/instead she wakes up (still in her camisole, as Fitzpatrick feels the need to remind us)/

Dear Lord, is Fitzpatrick secretly a drooling fanboy who’s getting off on constantly describing his female protagonist’s state of undress? Cut it out!

/Rixon starts going on about how Dabria is Patch's "psychotic ex", /

Oh, yeah, *she’s* the one who’s psychotic. The one who’s trying to keep her ex-boyfriend out of trouble, the one who tells him that she’ll report him if she has to – yes, she’s the one who’s out of control. The guy who sexually harasses, stalks, and abuses a girl? Oh, he’s just peachy. *snarls*

/Patch even asks her "You think I'm a bad guy?"/

*calmly* No, Patch, I would not say that you’re a “bad guy.” That’s putting it too lightly. I would say that you’re a loathsome, evil, abominable, despicable, vile, disgraceful, repulsive and hateful cesspit of amoral filth.

/He specifies that got all hot for a human girl, and deliberately fell because he thought that it would make him human./

If Patch can’t feel anything physically, then how can he feel lust? Pardon my ignorance, but isn’t lust a very physical sensation? Sure, one could argue that it’s also mentally and emotionally-based, but the main thing that distinguishes it from the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins is that it’s carnal and more physical than the others. And even if one argues that lust *isn’t* a physical sensation, at least we can agree that the *goal* of lust is physical. This makes no sense!

/Patch says that when the original angels Fell for *sigh* tempting Eve, the entire thing was done quietly/

*flatly* Arguably the most notable and important incident to happen in Genesis, the Old Testament, or perhaps even the entire Bible itself, the story that sealed humanity’s fate, the tale that has been used for centuries to justify original sin and the oppression of women…and it turns out that it was just a small, quiet, and private affair.

Yeah, I’m going to have to agree with das_mervin by saying that that is *stupid.*

/His answer is that "It's not for [him]"./

Well, at least he was honest about it. The only drawback is that he didn’t elaborate. “It’s not for me, because being a guardian angel requires that you actually care about people other than yourself, that you have a strong sense of duty, responsibility, and compassion, and that you not be a smug, controlling, manipulative, aggressive, and malicious brute like me.”

/She wants to ask about Dabria, and ask questions which are obviously her fishing to find out if she's competition or not./

*head-desk* This girl has just found out that angels and fallen angels are real and all that she really cares about is whether or not her crush is still dating someone? Good grief.

/Nora gets a Sinking Feeling and tells him that Dabria warned her to stay away from him, coming to the conclusion that "Something about this is off, isn't it?"/

Oh, yes, because if someone tells you that it’s a bad idea to get involved with a guy who’s assaulted, stalked, and sexually harassed you, it really means that she is an evil and jealous demon who’s just trying to trick you!

/No, clearly Dabria is the one they should be worrying about!/

Nora is supposedly the person that Patch really cares about. He’s hurt her. He’s frightened her. He’s humiliated her. He’s trapped her. He’s manipulated her. He’s ignored her wishes. He’s invaded her privacy. He’s endangered her well-being. He’s done nothing but make her life a nightmare.

Dabria is Patch’s ex-girlfriend who apparently still cares about him. She’s warned him. She’s tried to help him. She’s threatened to report him in order to make him stop his shameful behavior. She’s told Nora to stay away from him, knowing that Nora is involved in Patch’s sick little game of becoming human.

And yet she’s the bad guy. She’s the “psycho ex.” She’s the one who ‘doesn’t really love’ Patch, who's not the one for him. She’s the one that readers of the book are supposed to boo.

Whereas Patch is the ‘hot, sexy, dreamy’ romantic lead. He’s the one that readers are supposed to swoon over. He’s the guy who’s supposed to be Nora’s match, soulmate, and love interest. He’s the one who ‘really, really loves’ her.

I hate this book.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Dear Lord, is Fitzpatrick secretly a drooling fanboy who’s getting off on constantly describing his female protagonist’s state of undress? Cut it out!"

Given how she constantly seems to be shoving Nora into some sort of sado-masochistic porn plot, making her as victimized and helpless as possible, I really do wonder.

"If Patch can’t feel anything physically, then how can he feel lust? Pardon my ignorance, but isn’t lust a very physical sensation? Sure, one could argue that it’s also mentally and emotionally-based, but the main thing that distinguishes it from the rest of the Seven Deadly Sins is that it’s carnal and more physical than the others. And even if one argues that lust *isn’t* a physical sensation, at least we can agree that the *goal* of lust is physical. This makes no sense!"

That's a good point. Most of the sequel consists of Nora whining because Patch can't feel her kisses and whatnot. He shouldn't be able to feel aroused at all.

Unless the idea was that he thought he felt genuine love but was mistaking it for brief infatuation. Which is infuriating because it sounds like how Gethesemane wrote off Davy Jones and Calypso's relationship

"*head-desk* This girl has just found out that angels and fallen angels are real and all that she really cares about is whether or not her crush is still dating someone? Good grief."

Oh, you think she's bad about that here? Just you wait until the sequel. Nora has got to be the clingiest, most insane bitch I've ever read, and I'm including Bella Swan in that statement. Yes, you heard me. Just wait until you see what she does when it looks like Patch is interested in another girl. It's damned scary!

[lurkeriatipsos.livejournal.com]

Also, those sorts of people never talk about Adam's sin, which makes me think they're either bad at reading comprehension or know jack about theology. *peeve*

[greenerygripes.livejournal.com]

Nora gets all flustered at that, and asks why he fell. He says it was because of lust, which Nora for some reason thinks means "Money lust".
Uhhh...if it were "money-lust" wouldn't he have said something like "greed" or "avarice?" *facepalm*

[nawsome.livejournal.com]

Is it sad that we're comparing this to fanfiction? Or should I not be surprised?
You know, I forgot to mention this last chapter when things were beyond offensive and demeaning, but I hope you didn't pay for this book.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

No, I didn't pay for this. Don't worry. ^^;;

[seiler88.livejournal.com]

So Patch's big plan is to become human? I am disappoint.

Good grief people now even demons are castrated!

As to Patch not being able to feel. I have an explanation for such things in the book series I'm writing. In my world if a demon manifests on Earth without possessing someone (Common given that in my rules it's hard to do) they create a physical form out of almost anything. Yes that means Patch is a golem. Of course most demons see this as a plus since in my world someone is going to notice them, get offended and try to beat the shit out of them.

So Patch is the biggest pussy in the universe.

[albion-witch.livejournal.com]

So Nora ignores that he straight-up admitted that he wants to kill her so he can become human?

Nora, you have won the "Bitch, You Deserve to Die" award as does Patch. Jaime Lee Curtis in "Halloween" rescinded that title by stabbing Michael in the eye and she had her back turned when he came to in the next room in plain sight.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

No, she doesn't quite grasp that he wants to kill her until a few chapters from now. Even then, it really doesn't fully sink in. She spends most of Crescendo whining about how Patch ought to have not passed up the chance he got to get a human body, even though HE HAD TO MURDER HER TO GET IT! >_<

[albion-witch.livejournal.com]

The slutty girls in slasher films have more self-preservation instincts than this broad.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

I... Just...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

What WAS that? What is this thing? HOGWARTS EXPOSED made me feel less unclean! The Pokemon Story was less horrifying! WHO THOUGHT THIS WAS A ROMANCE? THIS IS FUCKING TERRIFYING!

[(Anonymous)]

What makes me really, really sad is to think of how good this could have been, if Fitzpatrick could have just cut out the whole bad boy thing. Just like Twilight and House of Night, there were some genuinely good ideas here. ... but the Suethor just decided "Nah, let's focus on the crappy romance!". It just infuriates me!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I know, right? She pitches the entire series like some Celestial Battle, but spends more time with Nora pining over Patch and Patch being smug. >_<

[winki-pop.livejournal.com]

This… was a real confusing chapter. Shit just happens, Nora is thrust into hallucinations for no reason out of nowhere and she comes to conclusions in dubious ways spoon-fed to the audience. Did Fitzpatrick just write on the fly and wait to see what happened?

And you're right, I did forget the prologue! :P

And it's pretty insulting that she's taken real stories from Christianity based on the beliefs of others and trivialised them as 'stories.'

Of course, that dastardly Dabria is the one at fault here, that bitch! How dare she try to get in between the Grand Sweeping Romance and warn Nora of how much of a psycho Patch truly is! I hate it when the Suethor tries to tell us who we are supposed to swoon over and who we are supposed to think is the Scary Sue *rolls eyes*

I've also heard that some people cannot feel pain because they do not have the sensors in their brain that tell them when they should, so if they scald themselves with hot water or stub their toe they don't even realise it.

That being said about not being able to feel anything… does that mean Patch can't feel it when he gets an erection? :D I couldn't help myself! And apparently this is supposed to be the bad boy teen dream for a lot of girls...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"does that mean Patch can't feel it when he gets an erection? :D I couldn't help myself!"

I was wondering that myself. Don't you need physical stimulation for that? That was the reason Annie and Mitchell needed a human girl for Annie to feel sex through in Being Human. As a ghost, she couldn't get Mitchell aroused.

Fitzpatrick never really addresses that, btw. I guess most of the sexing with fallen angels usually happens when they're possessing a Nephilim, but it's still pretty unclear.

[(Anonymous)]

You know, I was completely with you until a certain comment.

As an atheist, it goes without saying that I consider the whole of the Bible, apocryphal and canon, to be "a bedtime story" (along with the Koran, Book of Mormon, Bhagavad Ghita, and any other religious text featuring god(s) and the supernatural).

Are you implying I should not be allowed to express that opinion now?

Why is it somehow offensive to have a character say a religion isn't true, but not offensive to have someone say it is true? They are both equally valid points of view.

It just goes to show the religious privilege and bias endemic to society when it's not considered acceptable to even express your beliefs if they contradict popular religions.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I apologize if I offended you with that comment. I didn't mean to imply that people have the right to belief or disbelief religious texts. I had meant to bring up that this was a real set of beliefs that some people *do* follow, and Fitzpatrick was blatantly twisting and making them up to suit her own desires. It's no different, in my view, from Stephenie Meyer using the Quileute Native American tribe as Magical Brown People and completely making up legends and folklore that they have, just for clumsy foreshadowing, all while ignoring that the Quileutes are real people with their own real-life folklore and beliefs which is in no way like what she wrote.

I've edited the sporking to better reflect what I meant. I again am very sorry for that.

[katistrophe.livejournal.com]

The way they talk about it, it's like Milo finding the Shepherd's Diary.
Atlantis reference! Squee! (...Hey, I'm trying to keep myself from exploding with rage at the book.)

Best reason I can come up with for him wanting to be a human is probably being able to feel stuff. You know, stuff like Nora struggling against him, Nora's blood on his hands... now I've managed to make myself sick.

Yes, according to this book's angelic canon, if a fallen angel kills his Nephilim vassal, he gets a human body.
Oh. So that's the reward. Damn, that's fucked up. How does he become a human through that? Is it "Nephilim suck, have a human body for getting rid of them" or what?

I want to do a lot of things to your body, but that's not one of them
I want to do a lot of things to Patch's body. All of them painful.