Hush, Hush: Chapter 15
Jul. 27th, 2011 08:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Short one today, ladies and gentlemen. Don't worry though, it has it's moments
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 15
ZeldaQueen: Nora and Vee are in biology, because clearly that’s the only class they ever take besides PE, and they are supposed to be doing a blood pressure lab. I honestly don’t know what sort of curriculum this class has, because they were just on their sex ed unit and we got no mention of more than a few days passing or them taking an end of chapter test or anything. In any case, Vee is lying face up on a table and is supposed to be quiet for five minutes so Nora can test how much her blood pressure is lowered. We’re told that they were allowed to choose their own lab partners, which is why Nora isn’t doing this with Patch. Given how obvious and clichéd this all is, I think we all know where this will end up going.
Anyway, Vee can’t shut up for five minutes and is telling Nora how stupid it is to think that Elliot murdered someone. She points out how nice Elliot is, and normally I’d understand being skeptical except…
First of all, either Nora hasn’t told Vee how Elliot has turned into such a scumbag, or Vee knows and doesn’t believe her. Given that Vee later flat-out hand waves Elliot’s behavior, I’d lean towards the latter
Second of all, she’s trying to ignore the news article itself. I mean, Nora actually has some basis for this notion, yet Vee is playing the “Are you sure it’s the same guy?” thing.
I also find it rather hypocritical that Vee drags Nora off to spy on Patch and proposes setting up a webcamera in his neighbor’s home just because she thinks he’s suspicious (that, and it would be fun), yet when Nora has reason to be worried about someone she just belittles the idea.
So yeah, Vee insists that even if Elliot was a murder suspect he wasn’t actually arrested, right? Nora points out that the article said that the apartment of the girl who was hung also was broken into, with the implication that her suicide note was planted. Vee chooses to ignore that idea, more or less, and says that she’ll go with the police if they say it was a suicide. Because we all know that the police never make mistakes, amirite?
And yes, I’m still pissed that Vee pushes Nora on those stupid investigations but won’t spare two seconds to at least humor her on this. That, and we're going to see later that Vee's insistence that Elliot is a good guy reaches alarming levels of idiocy later, so I'm pissed about that.
Nora proposes that they go to Elliot’s old school and snoop around (because that technique has worked so well in the past) and Vee gets “bad vibes” about doing that. What, and having Nora dress up like a hooker to see Patch’s work application didn’t? Nora also notes how suspicious it is that Jules mysteriously bails whenever they have group outings planned. Vee theorizes that he has some bowel problems. More likely he hates hanging around with her.
At that moment, Nora realizes that after her room had been broken into, the article she printed on Elliot’s investigation went missing. She freaks out and tells Vee about it and how Elliot must have been the person to break into her room to steal it back.
The teacher steps in at this point and asks how things are going. He feels Vee’s pulse and, seeing that it’s not as low as it ought to be, asks if she refrained from all activities for the five minutes. Vee is a smartass and this prompts the teacher to - honk if you saw this coming - order her to switch partners with Patch. Vee is mildly apologetic to Nora about that one. I have to wonder, if Vee is so certain that Patch beat her within an inch of her life, why isn't she more concerned that he keeps hanging around with Nora? If I was attacked so viciously by someone and then saw that my best friend was being shoved towards that same person in school, I'd be very concerned that hello, my best friend might end up Victim #2! Especially since Vee knows that Nora was most likely the target of that attack! NORA TOLD HER SHE WAS ALREADY BEING STALKED! WHY ARE EVERYONE SO CALM ABOUT THESE THINGS?!?
I'm sorry. I have a hold of myself now.
Patch comes over and, being his usual charming self, immediately brings up those high heels she wore to his work place the other night. They “banter”, which mostly consists of him making innuendos and telling her to loosen up (yes Nora, how stupid of you to be bothered by harassment), before she tells him to get on with the lab before the teacher gets even more pissed at her. Considering that Patch and Vee have been the ones goofing around, it seems pretty dickish that Nora is the one to get in trouble. Then again, her word apparently carries zero weight in this insane world.
Nora tells Patch to be the subject, probably because having him shut up for five minutes is very appealing. He refuses on the grounds that he has no heart. No kidding? And rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, in a few chapter's time, that comment is going to be very frightening.
Because he’s a dick and won’t cooperate at all, Nora is the subject and lies still for five minutes. Of course the instant he touches her wrist to feel her pulse, her heart rate goes way up. He threatens to write her spike in pulse from his touch and she tells him not to. I suspect that this is supposed to be cute banter, but given how little regard he’s had for her wishes thus far, it just comes across as him being a douche who’s further humiliating her
“'What do you want?’ I asked him.
Patch's eyes connected with mine. On the inside, he was grinning. I could tell.
‘Except, you know, that,’ I said”
ZeldaQueen: For the love of God, please tell me that wasn’t referring to what I think it was.
Jump ahead to Nora’s next visit with Miss Greene, and we’re beat over the head with how her door is closed and she is all unfriendly and yes Fitzpatrick, it’s obvious we aren’t supposed to like her. Thank you for that.
There's a lot of pointless description of how the decoration in the office has changed, and if it's supposed to be wildly symbolik, I'm not getting it. Miss Greene says that she gets that they need to build a relationship on trust and respect and promises not to bring up Nora’s dad again unless Nora says to. She then brings up that she knows that Nora was ridden home from the amusement park on Saturday and that she let Patch into her house. She reminds Nora what she said about not being alone with him. Nora instantly gets all indignant because that’s None Of Her Business, and I’m sure that would carry a lot of weight if Miss Greene didn’t have a very good point. Patch is a creeper, he’s a textbook stalker and abuser, and his actions that night were far into Do Not Want territory. Still, we’re obviously supposed to think that Miss Greene is a prying bitch for telling Nora to keep away from Patch. Lord.
Nora is asked if there’s anything else she wants to talk about, and Nora tells us in no uncertain terms that something is off about Miss Greene and she doesn’t trust her and thus won't tell her about Elliot
“Miss Greene. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about her bothered me. And I didn't like the way she kept hinting that Patch was dangerous but wouldn't tell me why. It was almost like she had an agenda”
ZeldaQueen: An agenda? Maybe she just wants to keep you away from the dude harassing and stalking you! I hate Nora’s idiocy and I hate that Fitzpatrick had Miss Greene be a therapist. That’s all this book needs, after all. Tell the readers that it’s suspicious and weird for your therapists to tell you to stay away from your stalker
ZeldaQueen: So yeah, not much in this besides Vee being stupid, Patch being a dick, Nora expositioning her theories, and Miss Greene being Obviously Suspicious (except that she totally isn't). Don't worry though. Like I said, next chapter more than makes up for it
Onward to: Chapter 16
Back to: Chapter 14
Return to to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 15
ZeldaQueen: Nora and Vee are in biology, because clearly that’s the only class they ever take besides PE, and they are supposed to be doing a blood pressure lab. I honestly don’t know what sort of curriculum this class has, because they were just on their sex ed unit and we got no mention of more than a few days passing or them taking an end of chapter test or anything. In any case, Vee is lying face up on a table and is supposed to be quiet for five minutes so Nora can test how much her blood pressure is lowered. We’re told that they were allowed to choose their own lab partners, which is why Nora isn’t doing this with Patch. Given how obvious and clichéd this all is, I think we all know where this will end up going.
Anyway, Vee can’t shut up for five minutes and is telling Nora how stupid it is to think that Elliot murdered someone. She points out how nice Elliot is, and normally I’d understand being skeptical except…
First of all, either Nora hasn’t told Vee how Elliot has turned into such a scumbag, or Vee knows and doesn’t believe her. Given that Vee later flat-out hand waves Elliot’s behavior, I’d lean towards the latter
Second of all, she’s trying to ignore the news article itself. I mean, Nora actually has some basis for this notion, yet Vee is playing the “Are you sure it’s the same guy?” thing.
I also find it rather hypocritical that Vee drags Nora off to spy on Patch and proposes setting up a webcamera in his neighbor’s home just because she thinks he’s suspicious (that, and it would be fun), yet when Nora has reason to be worried about someone she just belittles the idea.
So yeah, Vee insists that even if Elliot was a murder suspect he wasn’t actually arrested, right? Nora points out that the article said that the apartment of the girl who was hung also was broken into, with the implication that her suicide note was planted. Vee chooses to ignore that idea, more or less, and says that she’ll go with the police if they say it was a suicide. Because we all know that the police never make mistakes, amirite?
And yes, I’m still pissed that Vee pushes Nora on those stupid investigations but won’t spare two seconds to at least humor her on this. That, and we're going to see later that Vee's insistence that Elliot is a good guy reaches alarming levels of idiocy later, so I'm pissed about that.
Nora proposes that they go to Elliot’s old school and snoop around (because that technique has worked so well in the past) and Vee gets “bad vibes” about doing that. What, and having Nora dress up like a hooker to see Patch’s work application didn’t? Nora also notes how suspicious it is that Jules mysteriously bails whenever they have group outings planned. Vee theorizes that he has some bowel problems. More likely he hates hanging around with her.
At that moment, Nora realizes that after her room had been broken into, the article she printed on Elliot’s investigation went missing. She freaks out and tells Vee about it and how Elliot must have been the person to break into her room to steal it back.
The teacher steps in at this point and asks how things are going. He feels Vee’s pulse and, seeing that it’s not as low as it ought to be, asks if she refrained from all activities for the five minutes. Vee is a smartass and this prompts the teacher to - honk if you saw this coming - order her to switch partners with Patch. Vee is mildly apologetic to Nora about that one. I have to wonder, if Vee is so certain that Patch beat her within an inch of her life, why isn't she more concerned that he keeps hanging around with Nora? If I was attacked so viciously by someone and then saw that my best friend was being shoved towards that same person in school, I'd be very concerned that hello, my best friend might end up Victim #2! Especially since Vee knows that Nora was most likely the target of that attack! NORA TOLD HER SHE WAS ALREADY BEING STALKED! WHY ARE EVERYONE SO CALM ABOUT THESE THINGS?!?
I'm sorry. I have a hold of myself now.
Patch comes over and, being his usual charming self, immediately brings up those high heels she wore to his work place the other night. They “banter”, which mostly consists of him making innuendos and telling her to loosen up (yes Nora, how stupid of you to be bothered by harassment), before she tells him to get on with the lab before the teacher gets even more pissed at her. Considering that Patch and Vee have been the ones goofing around, it seems pretty dickish that Nora is the one to get in trouble. Then again, her word apparently carries zero weight in this insane world.
Nora tells Patch to be the subject, probably because having him shut up for five minutes is very appealing. He refuses on the grounds that he has no heart. No kidding? And rest assured, ladies and gentlemen, in a few chapter's time, that comment is going to be very frightening.
Because he’s a dick and won’t cooperate at all, Nora is the subject and lies still for five minutes. Of course the instant he touches her wrist to feel her pulse, her heart rate goes way up. He threatens to write her spike in pulse from his touch and she tells him not to. I suspect that this is supposed to be cute banter, but given how little regard he’s had for her wishes thus far, it just comes across as him being a douche who’s further humiliating her
“'What do you want?’ I asked him.
Patch's eyes connected with mine. On the inside, he was grinning. I could tell.
‘Except, you know, that,’ I said”
ZeldaQueen: For the love of God, please tell me that wasn’t referring to what I think it was.
Jump ahead to Nora’s next visit with Miss Greene, and we’re beat over the head with how her door is closed and she is all unfriendly and yes Fitzpatrick, it’s obvious we aren’t supposed to like her. Thank you for that.
There's a lot of pointless description of how the decoration in the office has changed, and if it's supposed to be wildly symbolik, I'm not getting it. Miss Greene says that she gets that they need to build a relationship on trust and respect and promises not to bring up Nora’s dad again unless Nora says to. She then brings up that she knows that Nora was ridden home from the amusement park on Saturday and that she let Patch into her house. She reminds Nora what she said about not being alone with him. Nora instantly gets all indignant because that’s None Of Her Business, and I’m sure that would carry a lot of weight if Miss Greene didn’t have a very good point. Patch is a creeper, he’s a textbook stalker and abuser, and his actions that night were far into Do Not Want territory. Still, we’re obviously supposed to think that Miss Greene is a prying bitch for telling Nora to keep away from Patch. Lord.
Nora is asked if there’s anything else she wants to talk about, and Nora tells us in no uncertain terms that something is off about Miss Greene and she doesn’t trust her and thus won't tell her about Elliot
“Miss Greene. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something about her bothered me. And I didn't like the way she kept hinting that Patch was dangerous but wouldn't tell me why. It was almost like she had an agenda”
ZeldaQueen: An agenda? Maybe she just wants to keep you away from the dude harassing and stalking you! I hate Nora’s idiocy and I hate that Fitzpatrick had Miss Greene be a therapist. That’s all this book needs, after all. Tell the readers that it’s suspicious and weird for your therapists to tell you to stay away from your stalker
ZeldaQueen: So yeah, not much in this besides Vee being stupid, Patch being a dick, Nora expositioning her theories, and Miss Greene being Obviously Suspicious (except that she totally isn't). Don't worry though. Like I said, next chapter more than makes up for it
Onward to: Chapter 16
Back to: Chapter 14
Return to to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-28 02:38 am (UTC)and potentialmurderer. Granted, I'm not keen on the name, for personal preference reasons, but that doesn't mean I would create a character that would get the shit end of the stick at every chance. It just seems weird.(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-29 01:53 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-28 08:32 pm (UTC)I just find this terribly contrived (and considering that this entire story is just one big mess of contrivances, that’s saying something). Yes, make Vee all intrusive and nosy when it comes to dealing with Patch, but make her completely unconcerned about Elliot. She’s not even interested in him – she’s interested in Jules, isn’t she? – so why is she all of a sudden insisting that Elliot is innocent?
/At that moment, Nora realizes that after her room had been broken into, the article she printed on Elliot’s investigation went missing. She freaks out and tells Vee about it and how Elliot must have been the person to break into her room to steal it back./
But why would Elliot need to steal it back? Nora got the article off the *Internet.* If she wanted to present the article to the police as proof of Elliot’s guilt, all she’d need to do was to open the page on the Web and print out the article again. It’s not like it was an old newspaper clipping that couldn’t be replaced.
/I have to wonder, if Vee is so certain that Patch beat her within an inch of her life, why isn't she more concerned that he keeps hanging around with Nora? If I was attacked so viciously by someone and then saw that my best friend was being shoved towards that same person in school, I'd be very concerned that hello, my best friend might end up Victim #2! Especially since Vee knows that Nora was most likely the target of that attack!/
And if she really did suspect Patch, she’d report him to the principal or another authority figure. But she doesn’t, because she is a stupid, *stupid* plot convenience who only exists to get Nora into trouble.
/Of course the instant he touches her wrist to feel her pulse, her heart rate goes way up./
So, what have we learned today? If a boy keeps making sexually inappropriate comments to a girl, despite her obvious humiliation and repeated attempts for him to stop, he’s really just in love with her and as long as he’s a “sexy bad-boy,” she should take his sexual harassment as nothing more than light-hearted banter that gets her heart racing.
Go drown in lava, Patch. And shame on you, Ms. Fitzpatrick, for subjecting your main character to such a degrading ordeal.
/She then brings up that she knows that Nora was ridden home from the amusement park on Saturday and that she let Patch into her house./
And she knows this…how? Does Nora ever ask her how she knows?
/Maybe she just wants to keep you away from the dude harassing and stalking you! I hate Nora’s idiocy and I hate that Fitzpatrick had Miss Greene be a therapist. That’s all this book needs, after all. Tell the readers that it’s suspicious and weird for your therapists to tell you to stay away from your stalker/
I love how Miss Green is “suspicious” and “has an agenda” for knowing where Nora was, but we’re supposed to still swoon over Patch even though he also brought up personal information that implied that he was also stalking Nora, forced her to ride home with him, and forced himself into her house.
Give me a break, Nora (and subsequently, Ms. Fitzpatrick). If Miss Green was a good-looking guy who was telling Nora all of this information, Nora would have fallen all over him as stupidly as she does for Patch. But no, this woman, who dares to be the only person in this book that tells Nora to watch out for the abusive and controlling creep who’s been sexually harassing Nora and stalking her, “has an agenda.” The only person who has a realistic reaction to Patch’s atrocious behavior and tries to help Nora is a “suspicious” person who’s set up to be Evil.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-29 04:19 am (UTC)There is something else that's coming up in regards to that, but yeah Nora probably should have considered. Of course, by this point in the book I wouldn't be surprised if she had a complete mental breakdown and forgot a few things.
"And if she really did suspect Patch, she’d report him to the principal or another authority figure. But she doesn’t, because she is a stupid, *stupid* plot convenience who only exists to get Nora into trouble."
No one ever considers reporting anyone. Vee being interviewed by the police got a passing mention. This is like some crazy world where horrible things happen and people are weirdly apathetic. Which would make for a fine horror novel, true, but a shit romance
And we find out how Ms Greene knows stuff. Dear lord, we find out. As for her reaction...again, that's for later. I'll be exploding when it's discussed. ^^;;;
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-28 11:54 pm (UTC)And THANK GOD FOR THAT.
Is it a new trend for protagonists to have crappy best friends or something? I know the "abusive, creepy douche being the love interest" is gaining popularity, but is "crappy best friend" joining in on this?
Wait a sec, are they all talking about while in class, checking blood pressure? And...is no one overhearing them? I mean, sheesh, how big is this classroom?
He feels Vee’s pulse and, seeing that it’s not as low as it ought to be, asks if she refrained from all activities for the five minutes.
You know, when I was in high school and we did this, we didn't go only once. The teachers made us try three times, and if it wasn't as low as it should have been any of those three times, well, they just assumed we had faster pulses than most people. It happened. Why isn't the teacher doing that?
AND ARE YOU EFFING SERIOUS? NORA IS TOLD TO STAY AWAY--AND SHE THINKS--Okay, you know what?
Spitefic time. I don't know the original Greene dialogue, but...
"This boy, Patch." Miss Greene's voice was hard. "Stay away from him. Don't go anywhere alone with him, ever, an--what's the matter?"
As she had said that warning, I'd felt my eyes start to water. Hot tears fell rapidly from my eyes, and I started hiccuping, breathing harder than I'd been just a second ago.
Miss greene's stern, cold look was instantly replaced with one of concern. "Nora?"
"Help me!" I sobbed loudly, covering my face. A small part of me that was still able to think rationally wondered why I had asked her for help, but the other part of me, the part that was terrified, didn't listen. "Miss Greene, please, I--I'm trying to stay away!" I wailed. "But he won't leave me alone! I--I think he's stalking me, he keeps making these awful comments to me, he just scares me so much and no one does anything because they don't think it's that bad and even my best fucking friend doesn't care, and no one will help me and I'm scaaaared!" I screamed, falling to the floor in a crying, shaking ball. As I wept, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder, then felt arms go around me. It took a few moments for me to realize that Miss Greene was speaking softly.
That had been a trick my mother knew when I was little...I had no choice but to cry softer and softer til I stopped, so I could hear what Miss Greene was saying.
"Shhhh, sh-sh-shhh..." Miss Greene whispered, rubbing my back. It was amazing how much warmer she sounded than she had a minute ago. "Shhh, it's alright. I was afraid he would do this." That hard edge was back. "You're not the first girl he's tried to reel in."
"Wh-what?" I hicupped, looking up at her and wiping my eyes.
She wasn't listening. "Well, no more. No more of this...I can't stand back and watch him drive another maiden to tears and terrorize her before...claiming her like a trophy," she spat.
Was it my imagination, or was she glowing?
"What are you--?" I began to ask, but that moment, Miss Greene pulled away, and I was temporarily blinded by a flash of bright light. I screamed and covered my eyes--and a second later, I felt warmer. Safe. I felt--no, I knew Patch wouldn't be able to hurt me, not now, not ever again.
"Stay here, child," I heard a voice say. It sounded remarkably like Miss Greene, but there was a weird sound to it--like there were multiple Miss Greenes and they were all echoing. "I've set up a barrier around the house. His kind can't cross it...When I'm through with him, he will not trouble anyone ever again."
I heard a rush of air, the sound of wings flapping, a feather brushed against my cheek--and then she was gone.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-29 12:54 am (UTC)Oh lord, how I wish that your spite fic were canon. I wish that so hard. That would be the only way this freaking book could be redeemed at all.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-07-29 01:56 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-07 08:39 am (UTC)Vee is just as atrocious as Patch. If that were my best friend telling me some guy was creeping after her, I'd tell everyone I could just to keep her safe: my parents, her mother, the police, obviously!
Also, because it is something I was researching for the full-length story I am writing at the moment, you cannot actually use articles and news items as evidence in court, at least not here in Aust. I think that even if you did show the police the article on Elliot, it may be deemed speculative at best because news articles have to be free from bias. It would be different if he were named as a convicted criminal, otherwise until proven guilty it he can only have been 'alleged' to have done it. I'm not sure if that means anything to this story, but it was just something that got me thinking.
Spitefic: Too Late
Date: 2015-05-19 01:53 am (UTC)The Fallen had managed to get its hooks into her. She was defensive of it, refusing to gain sense and realize what she was doing was wrong. What remained of her personality was probably already scrubbed away and replaced with something different.
You were too late, and this girl suffered for it.
You closed your eyes and silently prayed for the girl that was lost. It would help in the time to come, when you would have to do what you needed to do. Maybe, when the Fallen was exterminated, she would go back to her original self. Maybe her original self was hidden underneath the personality the Fallen had created for her. It wasn't uncommon; many Fallen were indeed sadistic enough to leave just enough of their original selves behind, just so that the human would suffer more. it was possible she would go back to normal.
But you didn't have time to contemplate that. Because right now?
You had a Fallen to kill.