Ghosts Of The Abyss: Chapter 25
May. 28th, 2011 09:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Hey guys! I really want to finish this quickly and it's mostly more of the same idiocy, so we're goin to be in the Sporking Theater for a bit more. Returning for an encore performance as Jack Sparrow is Link -
Link: Thank you, you're too kind
ZeldaQueen: And joining us for the first time is Ganondorf
Ganondorf: Yes, of course
Link: ...What?
ZeldaQueen: He will be playing Captain Teague Sparrow
Ganondorf: Link, I am your father
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: ...Right then
THE CURTAIN RISES FOR...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 25
Kate: Why, how odd! I can't remember Captain Teague for some reason. I'm not sure why that's odd, as there's no evidence I knew of him before now, but I suppose Gethesemane wants to remind her readers that I have Blackbeard for a father. I suppose I'll just stand here with my mouth hanging open while my husband puts his hand protectively around mine
Teague: Sup? So it looks like the Sue is quite determined for us to fight in the war. She's really stealing Elizabeth's canon moments, isn't she? Well, the time is come to take back what is ours. Canon has been stolen from us, so we must fight to reclaim it. Oh, and the East India Trading Industry. So honor, freedom, the sea, all that fun stuff! Yaaar!
Kate: Oh, listen to that cheering! I suppose pirates are a cowardly bunch, which does go against how I kept saying how brave and honorable they are. Well, I guess Jack and I shall hang back for a word with Daddy Dearest
Jack: I will valiantly fight for canon as well. How's mum?
Teague: *presents shrunken head*
Jack: ...Nice
Teague: So, you're still planning on stealing Jones's heart and being the immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman?
Kate: Bluh, what?
Jack: Hear me out, luv. I realize that there is absolutely no foreshadowing for this since Gethesemane decided to ignore the subplot about my obsession and weakness for immortality in favor of sex, but I have a great idea going. You and I can both stab the heart and we'll both be immortal!
Kate: Hmm, hang around to torment this fandom forever? Tempting. Still, I must outshine Teague and take the higher moral ground. "I loved Jack, and I always would, yet could we bear the burden of the curse of corrupt immortality? That was all that awaited us, awaited him"
Teague: I refuse to submit to the Sue. It's not about living forever, it's about living with yourself forever. Damn it, the Sue's influence is too great. "Could you live with yourself knowing that you had dragged your own wife into corrupt immortality? And what if you have children? Hm?"
Jack: Well, way to take the focus off of my personal struggles and flaws. I suppose Gethesemane wants to ignore that I have any. Ah well, clearly I never thought of this
Kate: Why in the world would you want immortality?
Jack: To escape from yo - uh, "Isn't that what everyone wants?" he asked. "Doesn't everyone want to be immortal?"
Kate: I don't, because I'm trying to look moral
Jack: C'mon, we could be together forever!
Kate: I turn slightly bitchy. Are you asking this for both of us, or are you only thinking of yourself
Jack: Despite all canon evidence to the contrary, it's the former. "I've lost you so many times, Kate. I don't want to lose you again"
Kate: Nonsense. You'll never get rid of me. Gethesemane won't allow it. Also, we share an intense and extremely cliche bond of love. Didn't I sail to World's End for you? I mean, I know an entire crew did as well, but to Hell with them. And hey, didn't I find you in the Locker? Calypso's magic be damned! It was all me! Let's make out. LOVE WILL NEVER DIE!
Jack: Fine, sex?
Kate: Do you even need to ask?
SCENE CHANGE - THE BLACK PEARL - DAWN
Kate: Here it is, the big moment! I'm ready to steal all canon glory! Elizabeth might as well not exist and I've got the perfect excuse for whatever I do here - it's for the good of piracy. Because, you know, piracy is such a noble pursuit. I remind you all that Calypso is an evil bitch who has imprisoned Jones...somehow and I am fighting to save both the sea and him. I'm not sure how killing the Goddess of the Sea is saving the sea, but whatever
Jack: I love you. Let's make out
Kate: Oh, let's. Hey, some of the crew members are starting to be kind of cowardly . Well, we can't have that, now can we? Hey guys! Watch me steal Elizabeth's awesome moment with my own generic speech, which also heavily plagurizes from her! "'Listen to me!' I shouted. 'Listen! You will not display this cowardice now! For centuries, we have ruled the seas with naught but the sweat of our brows, the strength of our backs, and the blood of our forefathers! Should we now, when we are needed most, dishonor those who have fought for our freedom before us and cower behind the masts? No! We will fight, and we will die! We will reclaim what is ours! We will control the seas once again! Dying is the day worth living for! All that we are living for and dying for is before us! The other ships look to the Black Pearl to lead them into battle! They will not see a derelict ship full of cowards! They will see the epitome of strength, ferocity, and skill! The enemy will shrink before the thunder of our guns and the bloody blades of our swords! The East India Trading Company has dared to underestimate us! We will show them what we can do! They will know how fierce we can be! So, gentlemen, hoist the colors, because we are the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, AND NEVER SHALL WE DIE!'"
Jack: Awesomesauce, luv
Kate: "The battle's not even begun yet"
Jack: "But it's already won". Let's make out again
Kate: *does so*
----------------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: Nice speech up there, huh? Cool project before we finish this sporking. Here's Elizabeth's canon speech. Have fun picking out the bits that Gethesemane stole for Kate to use
Onward to: Chapter 26
Back to: Chapter 24
Return to: Table of Contents
Link: Thank you, you're too kind
ZeldaQueen: And joining us for the first time is Ganondorf
Ganondorf: Yes, of course
Link: ...What?
ZeldaQueen: He will be playing Captain Teague Sparrow
Ganondorf: Link, I am your father
Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: ...Right then
THE CURTAIN RISES FOR...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 25
Kate: Why, how odd! I can't remember Captain Teague for some reason. I'm not sure why that's odd, as there's no evidence I knew of him before now, but I suppose Gethesemane wants to remind her readers that I have Blackbeard for a father. I suppose I'll just stand here with my mouth hanging open while my husband puts his hand protectively around mine
Teague: Sup? So it looks like the Sue is quite determined for us to fight in the war. She's really stealing Elizabeth's canon moments, isn't she? Well, the time is come to take back what is ours. Canon has been stolen from us, so we must fight to reclaim it. Oh, and the East India Trading Industry. So honor, freedom, the sea, all that fun stuff! Yaaar!
Kate: Oh, listen to that cheering! I suppose pirates are a cowardly bunch, which does go against how I kept saying how brave and honorable they are. Well, I guess Jack and I shall hang back for a word with Daddy Dearest
Jack: I will valiantly fight for canon as well. How's mum?
Teague: *presents shrunken head*
Jack: ...Nice
Teague: So, you're still planning on stealing Jones's heart and being the immortal captain of the Flying Dutchman?
Kate: Bluh, what?
Jack: Hear me out, luv. I realize that there is absolutely no foreshadowing for this since Gethesemane decided to ignore the subplot about my obsession and weakness for immortality in favor of sex, but I have a great idea going. You and I can both stab the heart and we'll both be immortal!
Kate: Hmm, hang around to torment this fandom forever? Tempting. Still, I must outshine Teague and take the higher moral ground. "I loved Jack, and I always would, yet could we bear the burden of the curse of corrupt immortality? That was all that awaited us, awaited him"
Teague: I refuse to submit to the Sue. It's not about living forever, it's about living with yourself forever. Damn it, the Sue's influence is too great. "Could you live with yourself knowing that you had dragged your own wife into corrupt immortality? And what if you have children? Hm?"
Jack: Well, way to take the focus off of my personal struggles and flaws. I suppose Gethesemane wants to ignore that I have any. Ah well, clearly I never thought of this
Kate: Why in the world would you want immortality?
Jack: To escape from yo - uh, "Isn't that what everyone wants?" he asked. "Doesn't everyone want to be immortal?"
Kate: I don't, because I'm trying to look moral
Jack: C'mon, we could be together forever!
Kate: I turn slightly bitchy. Are you asking this for both of us, or are you only thinking of yourself
Jack: Despite all canon evidence to the contrary, it's the former. "I've lost you so many times, Kate. I don't want to lose you again"
Kate: Nonsense. You'll never get rid of me. Gethesemane won't allow it. Also, we share an intense and extremely cliche bond of love. Didn't I sail to World's End for you? I mean, I know an entire crew did as well, but to Hell with them. And hey, didn't I find you in the Locker? Calypso's magic be damned! It was all me! Let's make out. LOVE WILL NEVER DIE!
Jack: Fine, sex?
Kate: Do you even need to ask?
SCENE CHANGE - THE BLACK PEARL - DAWN
Kate: Here it is, the big moment! I'm ready to steal all canon glory! Elizabeth might as well not exist and I've got the perfect excuse for whatever I do here - it's for the good of piracy. Because, you know, piracy is such a noble pursuit. I remind you all that Calypso is an evil bitch who has imprisoned Jones...somehow and I am fighting to save both the sea and him. I'm not sure how killing the Goddess of the Sea is saving the sea, but whatever
Jack: I love you. Let's make out
Kate: Oh, let's. Hey, some of the crew members are starting to be kind of cowardly . Well, we can't have that, now can we? Hey guys! Watch me steal Elizabeth's awesome moment with my own generic speech, which also heavily plagurizes from her! "'Listen to me!' I shouted. 'Listen! You will not display this cowardice now! For centuries, we have ruled the seas with naught but the sweat of our brows, the strength of our backs, and the blood of our forefathers! Should we now, when we are needed most, dishonor those who have fought for our freedom before us and cower behind the masts? No! We will fight, and we will die! We will reclaim what is ours! We will control the seas once again! Dying is the day worth living for! All that we are living for and dying for is before us! The other ships look to the Black Pearl to lead them into battle! They will not see a derelict ship full of cowards! They will see the epitome of strength, ferocity, and skill! The enemy will shrink before the thunder of our guns and the bloody blades of our swords! The East India Trading Company has dared to underestimate us! We will show them what we can do! They will know how fierce we can be! So, gentlemen, hoist the colors, because we are the PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN, AND NEVER SHALL WE DIE!'"
Jack: Awesomesauce, luv
Kate: "The battle's not even begun yet"
Jack: "But it's already won". Let's make out again
Kate: *does so*
----------------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: Nice speech up there, huh? Cool project before we finish this sporking. Here's Elizabeth's canon speech. Have fun picking out the bits that Gethesemane stole for Kate to use
Onward to: Chapter 26
Back to: Chapter 24
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-29 02:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-29 03:07 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2015-12-19 09:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-29 09:34 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-29 01:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-06-19 05:16 pm (UTC)Dear god, she actually says this!? Forget the tentacle sex, I think THIS is the most disturbing part of the story.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-06-01 07:49 am (UTC)And in such a fail-tastic way, too... I mean, only Jack's the lord of the Caribbean Sea, the others are usually plundering and raping in other places...
(no subject)
Date: 2015-12-19 09:13 pm (UTC)STOP! STEALING! ELIZABETH'S! AWESOMENESS!
Okay, I'm done.