Betrayed: Chapter 5

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: This chapter done near killed me, ladies and gentlemen. I swear to God

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 5

ZeldaQueen: And so we start off this chapter with Zoey…angsting about how sick she feels. That’s it. There’s no reflection on what she heard, no thinking about it, not even a “I’m not sure what I heard, but I’ll think about it tomorrow”. Granted, I could understand feeling upset after hearing a teacher drive a student to tears, but she doesn’t think about it at all. Instead, we’re told that she leaves Spanish class to go to the bathroom so many times that Stevie Rae gets worried and starts following her in there. And normally I’d think Stevie Rae was being creepily obsessive, following Zoey into the bathroom, but there actually is a reason - we’re reminded how fledglings get very sick before they spontaneously drop over dead, and Stevie Rae thinks that might be happening with Zoey. If she wasn’t suck a spineless, stereotypical bootlicker, I’d actually consider that a nice show of Stevie Rae being a good friend, making sure that Zoey wasn’t going to drop dead with no one around.

We then jump to her last class of the day, and we’re told how it’s Equestrian Studies and how that just helps Zoey calm down, because she loves taking care of Persephone the horse. Apparently she’s graduated on to cantering Persephone. After one month of taking the class. *scratches head* Um folks, I’ll admit that I’ve never taken any horse-riding classes in my life, but shouldn’t they have…I don’t know…actually started riding the horses by now?

Anyway, she leaves the stables well after class has ended and is surprised to find the teacher, Lenobia, sitting on a chair, polishing a saddle. We’re reminded of how gorgeous Lenobia is - par for the course - and then we get this

“I wasn't sure what to say. I liked Lenobia. Okay, when I started her class she had scared me; she was tough and sarcastic, but after I got to know her (and proved I understood horses were not just big dogs), I'd come to appreciate her wit and her no-nonsense attitude. Actually, next to Neferet, she was my favorite teacher, but she and I hadn't ever talked about anything except horses”

ZeldaQueen: Good thing we were told all of that, because the only time I seem to recall Zoey interacting with her at all, beyond her first class. I certainly don’t remember much of Lenobia displaying wit or Zoey coming to appreciate it.

Lenobia comments on how Zoey has found herself saddled (you see what I did thar?) with a number of big responsibilities within a short period of time and for no reason at all says that if she needs someone besides Neferet to confide in, Zoey’s welcome to come speak with her. There honestly is no reason for this at all. I don’t even think Lenobia shows up again in this entire book. Certainly Zoey never actually confides in her, even though we’ll see later that it might actually be a good idea for a few things. And of course this is built up as being oh soooo unusual, because fledgling kids never confide with or go to teachers that aren’t their mentors for help! It simply isn’t done! Isn’t Zoey so Mary Sue special to have someone who isn’t her mentor to confide in?

Zoey sets off and starts walking by that wall she kept hanging around in the last book and then…oh God dammit!

“I'd forgotten how much I loved walking out here by the school wall. Actually, I'd avoided coming out here for the past month. Ever since I'd seen—or thought I'd seen—the two ghosts”

ZeldaQueen: That’s it. That’s it! That is the FIRST TIME the ghosts have been brought up! Oh, I could almost forgive the first book doing zip to resolve the issue, but we’re five chapters in and yes folks, the ghosts are our plot here. AND THEY’RE ONLY COMING IN NOW, AND IN SUCH A CASUAL “OH, THEY’RE PROBABLY NOTHING, TEE HEE” WAY!!!

I mean…what the fuck? That’s nearly as bad as Meyer’s characters forgetting about Victoria! She clearly has seen two ghosts! She told Stevie Rae and found out that they weren’t natural! AND NOW SHE’S SAYING “OH YES, I MIGHT HAVE BEEN MISTAKEN”?!?!? WHAT??? Oh wait, she does seem fairly certain she saw something, but doesn't want to say anything because "[t]hey'd probably want to send me to the vamp equivalent of a shrink, and oh, boy, wouldn't that help me to instill confidence in the masses as the new leader of the Dark Daughters? Not hardly. Plus, the more time passed, the easier it was for me to convince myself that maybe I'd imagined some of the Elliott encounter". Wow. Oh, and she once again starts beating the "it could be normal" drum in possibly the most unpleasant way possible

"Maybe it hadn't been Elliott (or his ghost or whatever). I didn't know every single one of the fledglings here. There could be another kid here who had ugly, bushy red hair and pudgy, too white skin"

ZeldaQueen: This kid died. He died crying and young and hacking blood out of his lungs, right in front of Zoey. She watched him ask Neferet to tell his parents what happened to him. She saw how scared he was. And what does she think about when she looks back? Oh yeah, he was ugly.

I honestly don't know what is the worst part. Maybe that this complete and utter bitch is supposed to be the person that we cheer on. Or perhaps the idea that she's supposed to be a stand-in for the intended young adult audience, which implies that the Cast ladies think that sixteen-year-olds are this shallow and horrible. Or possibly it's the same thing as Meyer with Twilight - that this was written with Zoey allegedly saying and doing the things Kristin Cast thinks she would say and do in these situations, which doesn't paint a very nice picture of her at all.

Just...take a moment to think that over.

So.

We interrupt the actual plot (I seriously can‘t get over how the Cast ladies keep ignoring or forgetting about it) to have Nala show up - because yeah, that cat just adds soooo much to the scene - and go back to Zoey giving blatant exposition about how she saw Elizabeth and Elliot’s ghosts. We’re also reminded how the fledglings are expected to just get over the deaths of their friends and classmates almost immediately, which as I said before really is a good flaw for the vampire world, except that Zoey follows it up with “It still seemed wrong to me, but maybe that was because I was only a month into the Change and still more used to being human than vamp, or even fledgling”

Um, Zoey? Are you even listening to yourself? You basically just said “Yeah, I see something wrong with being expected to just ignore the fact that someone dropped dead, but that’s probably just because I’m still human”. This isn’t a difference in cultures, this is flat out sociopathy. And you aren't bothered by the fact that vampires want you to think this way? You aren't bothered by the implications of it? No? Nothing?

Oh, well, who cares about that sort of thing? There's someone at the wall now and who could it be, but Loren Blake!

Please, prepare to facepalm.

He asks Zoey what she's doing and she tells him that she's just taking a walk. She strikes up a conversation with him, "trying to sound grown", and by this point I think that Erik has completely been forgotten. She introduces Blake to Nala and Blake tells her how he was in an X-men phase when he got his own cat, so he named it Wolverine. *bored* Oh look, another Hot guy who is Into the Arts and is a Closet Geek. I'm sensing a pattern here.

He laughs and Zoey tells us that "I tried hard not to let his overwhelming hotness make me giggle hysterically like a pre-teen at a boy band concert. I was, for the moment, actually flirting with him! Remain calm. Don't say or do anything idiotic".

*as patiently as possible* If I have to listen to Zoey yammer on about anyone's "overwhelming hotness" one more time, I am going to bite the head off of something.

Also.

HE'S A TEACHER, YOU STUPID, STUPID BINT! IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR TEACHERS TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH STUDENTS! NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALREADY ARE DATING ERIK, AND YOU APPARENTLY DON'T CONSIDER YOURSELF FULLY BROKEN-UP WITH HEATH YET! MOTHER OF GOD!

And yes, I do know the reason Blake is coming on to her. That doesn't make it less infuriating that Zoey apparently can't see the five million reasons why her pursuing a relationship with a teacher while she's still a student is a bad idea and will certainly be frowned up if not directly resulting in disciplinary action for both of them.

Blake continues to infuriate me by going on about how he's writing haiku and he just loves hanging around at dawn to get inspiration. Oh look, doesn't that just make him soooo romantic? Zoey says that she'll leave him to that and keeps blathering to the readers about how she's such a dork, so stupid, so on and so forth. Blake grabs her wrist as she goes to leave which is creepy, but she of course is all happy because the hot guy is touching her. He tells her to stick around and provide him with inspiration. She proves that she knows the definition of a haiku and he gets all happy, while Zoey implies that him being impressed is the only perk to having paid attention to her previous English classes. That's right girls, the only reason you should pay attention in class and learn stuff is so that you can get hot guys to like you.

At this point, Blake indicates to Zoey's shoulders and says "Nyx has Marked you there", which frankly sounds rather dirty. He asks if she wouldn't mind showing him those tattoos of hers. We get this

"Logic was telling me that he was only asking to see my tattoos because of how freakishly different they are, and that he was in no way coming on to me. To him I must seem nothing more than a child—a kid—a fledgling with weird Marks and unusual powers. That's what logic was telling me. But his eyes, his voice, the way his hand was still caressing my shoulder— those things were telling me something completely different"

ZeldaQueen: *rubs eyes* Let us examine the bits that make that up.

She keeps insisting that having beautiful tattoos on her shoulders and the ability to control the elements means that he sees her as some sort of freakish curiosity. I realize that there are people who feel like specimens or freaks because they are beautifully or beneficially unusual but are unable to be treated like a regular person because of it. That though? All it brings to mind?

ZeldaQueen: Not to mention the "Woe, I'm such a freak show" ploy would work better if it actually happened more than twice.

Yet again, she keeps slapping us with the "I'm just a kid to him" dead herring, and continues with the clear implication that she wishes it were otherwise. While she is still a student in a relationship. I honestly can't stress that enough.

It doesn't occur to her that there's something a wee bit off with a teacher who is pawing up a student and asking to see her shoulders.

I think what disturbs me most is, like I said, she's all gung-ho from the first time they talk. I mean, she doesn't even take his classes! She's been at the House of Night for one month. How well can she know this guy? To use the Fruit's Basket example again, Kyoko didn't start mooning after Katsuyo the first time she met him!

And on Blake's end, this is really creepy. I'm serious. Like I said, I know why he's doing this. I won't spoil it completely, but there are ulterior motives. But we aren't supposed to know that. We're supposed to think that this guy has starting coming on to this student that he hardly knows at all, besides the fact that she is extremely powerful and apparently pretty hot. He starts coming on to her while her boyfriend is out of town, meeting her in secluded places, and laying on the charm and getting her heart all a-flutter.

We're supposed to think that this is all just the most romantic thing ever.

True story time. Not a direct parallel, but a few summers ago, a familiar name came up in the local newspaper. A teacher at my high school was arrested. Apparently he was caught on the internet, going after girls in their early teens. He was caught by the police when they posed as a fourteen-year-old girl he was planning to meet. He apparently started sending pervy pictures to the "fourteen-year-old" right after "she" showed an interest in him. His username was "onethickdaddy". In real life, he coached one of the girls' sports teams. Lacrosse, I believe.

So yeah. A note to the Cast ladies - a teacher coming on to a younger student quick and while she's alone isn't necessarily going to come out as romantic.

Back to the sporking. Because we weren't creeped out enough already, Zoey decides that sure, she'd love to show off her shoulder tattoos to him. There's waaaay too much description of him helping her take off her jacket and coupled with everything else, it just makes me shudder even more. Off comes her jacket and...wow. Just, wow

"Loren should be looking at my partially bare shoulder, gawking at the tattoos there that not one other fledgling or vampyre that I knew of had ever had. But he wasn't. He was still staring into my eyes. And suddenly something happened within me. I stopped feeling like a goofy, jittery, dorky teenage girl. The look in his eyes touched the woman inside me, awakening her, and as this new me stirred I found a calm confidence in myself that I had rarely known before. Slowly, I reached up and pushed the small strap of my ribbed cotton tank over my shoulder so that it joined my half-discarded jacket. Then, still meeting his eyes, I swept my long hair out of the way, lifted my chin, and turned my body slightly, giving him a clear view of the back of my shoulder, which was now completely bare except for the slim line of my black bra.
He continued to meet my gaze for several more seconds, and I could feel the cool breath of the night air and the caress of the nearly full moon on the exposed skin of my breast and shoulder and back. Very deliberately, Loren moved even closer to me, holding my upper arm while he looked at the back of my shoulder.

'It's incredible.' His voice was so low it was almost a whisper. I felt his fingertip lightly trace the labyrinthlike spiral pattern that was, except for the exotic-looking runes interspersed around the spirals, much like my facial Mark. 'I've never seen anything like this. It's as if you're an ancient priestess who has materialized in our time. How blessed we are to have you, Zoey Redbird.'

He said my name like a prayer. His voice mixed with his touch made me shiver as goose bumps lifted on my skin. 'I'm sorry. You must be cold.' Gently, but quickly, Loren pulled up my tank strap and my jacket.

'I wasn't shivering because I was cold.' I heard myself say the words, and couldn't decide if I should be proud of myself or shocked at my boldness"

ZeldaQueen: She just pretty much said he makes her feel like a woman. I... I don't...

I'm just going to comment on two things there, lest I explode.

First - So a bunch of spiraly tattoos on one's shoulders makes them look like an "ancient priestess", huh? We must be going through a second Bronze Age then, because really? There's a ton of people who walk around with really elaborate and beautiful patterns tattooed on their shoulders and backs.

Second - That bit about him saying her name like a prayer? I'd like to remind you all that that phrase was used once before, in the previous book. Zoey used it to describe when Erik recited the monologue from Othello, specifically how it sounded when Othello spoke Desdemona's name. You remember, that monologue where staring at Zoey, with the implication that the monologue was symbolik of their love. Yeah.

*shakes head* Blake recites a poem by a Japanese poet "about how his lover looked naked under the full moon" (...) and Zoey goes on about how breathless she is and we are treated to a description of how her thighs are tingling. You know, like they did when she was kissing her boyfriend.

Blake cups her face in his hands and thanks her for being his inspiration. And I'm sorry for quoting so much, but I really can't summarize these things

"I could feel myself leaning into him, and I swear his body responded. I may not be highly experienced. And, hell yes, I'm still a virgin. But I'm not an utter moron (most of the time). I know when a guy is into me. And this guy—for that moment—was definitely into me. I covered his hand with my own, and forgetting about everything, including Erik and the fact that Loren was an adult vamp and I was a fledgling, I willed him to kiss me, willed him to touch me more. We stared at each other. We were both breathing hard"

ZeldaQueen: It's totally okay for her to start an affair with her teacher, relationships and ethics be damned. She sined her ass off, you see.

But lo, he pulls back, smiles politely, and walks off. Zoey is all upset and confused and goes to talk to Stevie Rae about it. I, meanwhile, desperately need chocolate and a drink
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Onward to: Chapter 6

Back to: Chapter 4

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[lisaerin.livejournal.com]

So this book is twenty something chapters long and how much of it is going to be out of place pop culture references and Zoey gawking at how hawt Loren and Erik are? Did you read the third book? Because I did and I'm pretty sure I know what Loren did. Aprodite was the best character in the book. Sure, she was flat, but she was more entertaining than Zoey. I really hate how Zoey does this slut shaming. I've no problems with girls who don't like to wear revealing clothes and are fine with being virgins. But Zoey acts like showing any sexual desire or wearing revealing clothes is the worst thing ever. And it's the most hypocritical thing, considering she's dating three guys at once. And after what Stevie Ray tells her what to do about Blake, none of them are allowed to call other girls sluts.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I started the third book. I had to stop because I was in a Barnes and Noble and was dangerously close to having a fit. It was somewhere between Zoey bitching about her birthday presents and Zoey and her grandmother bitching about how her mother just doesn't understaaaaaand how imprinting is a True and Wonderful relationship.

"I really hate how Zoey does this slut shaming. I've no problems with girls who don't like to wear revealing clothes and are fine with being virgins. But Zoey acts like showing any sexual desire or wearing revealing clothes is the worst thing ever. And it's the most hypocritical thing, considering she's dating three guys at once."

That's the thing I really don't get about Zoey. Okay, she hates on Aphrodite for giving her boyfriend a blowjob in the hallway. I mean, yeah there's the issue that she was trying to RAPE him, but even before that, she was all "blowjobs are gross and demeaning to women". I even can understand her having that...erm intense kiss with Erik because alright, there are people who enjoy going so far but not all the way. Fine. But then we get things like this, where she basically starts doing a Vogue pose for Blake, while totally forgetting Erik! What?

"And after what Stevie Ray tells her what to do about Blake, none of them are allowed to call other girls sluts."

I know what you're talking about. I do believe I'll lose it at that point. -_-

[lisaerin.livejournal.com]

I never hated a character so quickly. I'd be damn grateful if my friends got me birthday gifts. What really infuriated me was how Zoey was gushing over Erik's gift until she got a closer look at it. She can just casually mention to her friends that she doesn't like Christmas themed gifts. It's not that hard. People have asked me all my life if I'm from South Dakota or North Dakota. It's an old joke, but I don't throw a bitch fit whenever they say it. I'd heard about how awful this series was, but I just couldn't believe it. And after Meyer, no author can think use the concept of imprinting as romantic.
The thing that most annoys me about Zoey is that she's so obnoxious and self-righteous. I can tolerate a character having certain beliefs, but Zoey just shoves it down my throat. And she's so unsympathetic. The thing with Aphrodite could have been used to highlight the issue of women abusing men. It would have been interesting. And I don't know where I broke during the third book. I remember getting really angry about Stevie Ray.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

What I found stupid was that Zoey's first complaint about the necklace is that the pearls are shaped like snowmen (not that she recognizes that at the time) and thinks that they are defective because they aren't perfectly round. Exqueeze me darling, but a lot of pearl jewelry doesn't have perfectly round pearls. I have a pearl ring with one in that shape. It's natural for them. And if you have to squint to see that a necklace is Christmassy, I'd say you could wear it any time.

What's even worse is the context. The reason the mom doesn't think imprinting is romantic is because she hears Zoey saying how Bram Stoker was bitten by a vampire priestess who then pretty much ignored him, essentially dooming him to a life of heartbreak. What's doubly infuriating is that before this, Zoey's told by everyone else (and seems to believe as well) that imprinting is a tricky and potentially dangerous thing that mustn't be taken lightly. But no, when her mother dares criticize it, the gloves come off!

I'm just offended. I'm offended that the Cast ladies think this is so interesting and cool and likable and I'm offended that this is what they think teenagers are like: shallow, immature jerks who giggle over the word "boobie" and get hot for EVERY GOOD-LOOKING PERSON EVER and bitch about everything else.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/It was somewhere between Zoey bitching about her birthday presents and Zoey and her grandmother bitching about how her mother just doesn't understaaaaaand how imprinting is a True and Wonderful relationship./

...

Imprinting? Throwing a tantrum about birthday gifts? Why, this almost sounds like -

*stares at screen in horror*

Nooo! Keep it away! Keep Bella Swan and "Twilight" away! It was bad enough when I had to read that garbage in "New Moon" and "Eclipse." Do I have to see it again? Curse you, Ms. Meyer!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yes, pretty much.

Although unlike Bella, Zoey does give *some* effort to give something resembling appreciation. Doesn't really make up for the fact that, as lisaerin said, she could have easily told people what she wanted or didn't want.

[carmyn]

Dude, it took me forever and a day to learn about to canter a horse! There are a lot of things you learn before that and you can't learn it in one month, no matter how uber special you are!
This book is stupid!

Oh, funny thing, I came onto your livejournal just now and there was an ad for Twilight-related stuff from Cafepress. I find it funny XD.

[yemi-hikari.livejournal.com]

I guess now is another good time to suggest Horseland. This is despite the fact that some moron tried calling the girls in the cartoon, who are eleven and twelve anarexic because they so compared to a picture of an anarexic girl who was 15+ years old. I would give Horseland to a girl any day over this crap.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh. ^^; I actually don't know anything about horses, so I didn't know. But then, I'm not certain how much the Cast ladies know either.

Ha ha, really? XD Probably some thing where the ads look for certain keywords. Happens on TV Tropes all of the time. "Idiot Ball" has a link to Anne Coulter's latest book, and the page for Hogwarts Exposed has links to lawyers for child molestation cases (so not kidding XD)

[(Anonymous)]

well actually I can canter a horse and I've had maybe three weeks on riding lessons as a child. Then haven't been near a horse in like 6 or 7 years, climbed on one, and pretty much cantered that first day.
And i'm not special at all, so I'll give Zoey and her supersue powers that one.

[greenerygripes.livejournal.com]

Yeah, another spitefic already, but god damn it, I can't let this slide!

----
I could feel myself leaning into him, and I swear his body responded. I may not be highly experienced. And, hell yes, I'm still a virgin. But I'm not an utter moron (most of the time). I know when a guy is into me. And this guy—for that moment—was definitely into me. I covered his hand with my own, and forgetting about everything, including Erik and the fact that Loren was an adult vamp and I was a fledgling, I willed him to kiss me, willed him to touch me more. We stared at each other. We were both breathing hard...

And then before we could do anything more, the door swung open, hitting the wall with a loud BANG. Blake suddenly backed away from me, staring at the blue-uniformed men and women swarming into the room with fear in his eyes. One of the officers swiftly turned him around, holding his hands behind his back as she cuffed him and read him his Miranda Rights.

As he was led out, I saw a few other teachers and students standing nearby, some looking as confused as I was, others looking positively murderous. A teacher I hadn't seen before stepped out, taking me by the shoulder and leading me out of the room.

The next day, we were all informed that Blake had been fired from his position as teacher, and that anyone who had been on the receiving end of his advances and sexual harassment was requested to see the counselor.
----

Seriously, Zoey, it is inappropriate. How do you NOT see that?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

That spitefic was beautiful, and you can't imagine how much I wish it would happen.

She can't see it because he's hot. Really, that's it. If he wasn't a hot poetry teacher, she wouldn't look twice at him.

[cecamire.livejournal.com]

That spitefic is so wonderful.

Also, OT, but Madoka love ♥

[cecamire.livejournal.com]

...and by Madoka I mean Kyouko. /fail

[greenerygripes.livejournal.com]

It's cool, I assumed you meant the fandom. <3
Yeah, I love all the Madoka girls. ^^

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Oh, yes, thank you for this! This is definitely what should have happened.

[(Anonymous)]

It would be even better if someone had yelled "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

“I wasn't sure what to say. I liked Lenobia. Okay, when I started her class she had scared me; she was tough and sarcastic, but after I got to know her (and proved I understood horses were not just big dogs), I'd come to appreciate her wit and her no-nonsense attitude. Actually, next to Neferet, she was my favorite teacher, but she and I hadn't ever talked about anything except horses”

You know what this made me think of? Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce. We're introduced to Onua on the first page and we SEE that she's gruff but actually good hearted by her interaction with Diane. And again, we SEE that Diane is shy and nervous and prefers animals to humans by the way she acts. And we SEE the characters interacting with horses and we SEE the recruits of the Queen's Riders learning to ride and fight and everything else. And we SEE the characters develop and grow throughout the books. And it has been YEARS since I read this books, but yet I still remember stuff like this. Because it was interesting and therefore MEMORABLE.

[mogseltof.livejournal.com]

Oh man I loved Onua. Lenobia and Persephone be screwed, I want to go read about Cloud and Daine now. The character development is infinitely preferable.

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

Yeah, same here!

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

And the thing is that Daine does later have a relationship with (and eventually marry) Numair, who is her teacher and who is older than her. But it's also established throughout the series that they're not just instructor and student, they're also good friends. Daine is mature for her age and they live in a different culture and setting. And Numair doesn't really treat Daine like a child and he doesn't act like her father. So, while the age difference may be a little unsettling, it's still a different situation from what we have here.

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

Really? I thought they called it off? (but then I only read the first Protector of the Small book where Daine describes them as being 'just friends'. Did they actually marry later?)

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Yep, they got married and they had a kid too. I think that it was the third book of the "Protector of the Small" series where we learn that their child was born a shape-shifter and it was only through the intervention of Daine's mother that the baby finally decided to pick one shape.

Maybe you're thinking of Kel and Cleon's relationship? Did they end up being just friends by the end of the series?

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

No, I only read one of the books. Daine called their relationship 'complicated' and implied they were no longer a couple, but that clearly changes. My mistake (for not reading the later books).

[mogseltof.livejournal.com]

It was one of the Trickster books where she gave birth -- Kyprioth showed Ali in a dream.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I never read that, but it sounds far more interesting than this. I'll have to keep my eyes open for it.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I never heard of that book before, but it sounds way better. I'll have to keep my eyes open for it.

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

They're pretty good. I think they're for slightly younger readers than HoN is aimed at, but far better books. Start with The Song of the Lioness series, as Wild Magic is the first book in the sequel series. All Tamora Pierce's book have strong but relateable female characters and were written as a counter to the male dominated field of children's fantasy.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Thanks! They sound cool. :)

[mogseltof.livejournal.com]

Yup. This was the chapter that made me want to throw the book against the wall. This is where I stopped reading. Mostly because of the teacher thing - my dad's a teacher, so when I reached the bit with the tree and Blake I spat the dummy.

But no, Zoey is a special snowflake who has absolutely no need to concern herself with petty morals or ethics or dumb human laws. *rages*

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Like I said, there's a reason why Blake's doing it. It's sleezy and stupid, but a reason nonetheless besides "She's so hot!"

Zoey though - no excuse. None at all. And her friends' justifications...gah!

[(Anonymous)]

Dear god, am I glad I never got into this book... You know, I'm currently studying to be a high school teacher, and I would never even dream of starting a relationship with any of my future students.

I don't know what makes me mad: the fact that Zoey's cheating on Erik, or the fact that she doesn't care about the fact that she's flirting with a TEACHER!

I swear, this is the most obnoxious, hypocritical, shallow protagonist I've ever encountered...

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/This kid died. He died crying and young and hacking blood out of his lungs, right in front of Zoey. She watched him ask Neferet to tell his parents what happened to him. She saw how scared he was. And what does she think about when she looks back? Oh yeah, he was ugly./

...I-I just don't know what to say. What can you say about that completely despicable and disgusting display of callousness?

Well, I can say this: Go drown yourself in the Marianas Trench, you utterly horrible, horrible creature.

/HE'S A TEACHER, YOU STUPID, STUPID BINT! IT'S NOT ACCEPTABLE FOR TEACHERS TO BE IN RELATIONSHIPS WITH STUDENTS! NOT TO MENTION THAT YOU ALREADY ARE DATING ERIK, AND YOU APPARENTLY DON'T CONSIDER YOURSELF FULLY BROKEN-UP WITH HEATH YET!/

Instead of worrying that you might mess up while flirting with him, Zoey, how about you worry about the fact that you're even flirting with him in the first place?! Nobody told you that it's illegal and unethical for teachers to become involved with students? Or are you just too wrapped up in the forbidden aspect of this stupid fling to care?

/Blake grabs her wrist as she goes to leave which is creepy, but she of course is all happy because the hot guy is touching her./

*head-desk*

Typical YA female protagonist in a nutshell. Otherwise known as Shallow Girl Who Is Too Stupid to Live (SGWITSTL).

Actually, we should create a SGWITSTL club! Bella Swan can be the president, Nora Grey can be the vice-president, and Clary Fray can be the treasurer. Ever Bloom can be the secretary. Zoey is new to the club, so she doesn't have a position yet, but I'm sure that she'll move up the ranks soon enough.

(Sorry for the awful acronym, by the way. I'm sure that you can come up with a way to make it sound and look better. ^^)

/She proves that she knows the definition of a haiku and he gets all happy, while Zoey implies that him being impressed is the only perk to having paid attention to her previous English classes. That's right girls, the only reason you should pay attention in class and learn stuff is so that you can get hot guys to like you./

*growls* Didn't the movie "Mean Girls" point out how stupid and inevitably pointless this was?

/It doesn't occur to her that there's something a wee bit off with a teacher who is pawing up a student and asking to see her shoulders./

*stone-faced* You know what would happen in the real world? If this teacher was so much as tapping her bare shoulder and got caught doing it, he could very well be put on probation the next day. Teachers have had their jobs put in jeopardy due to mere *rumors* of them molesting students without any physical evidence. Do you want to know what would have happened if a student had walked by and spotted him doing this to Zoey, and if she/he had filmed them or taken a picture of them, and then given the photo/video to the principal?

As for the part where they've abandoned all shame, are openly flirting with each other, and Loren is making blatantly sexual comments to her? *takes a deep breath*

All I can say is that this teacher is a sleazebag, Zoey is an idiot, and that Erik needs to get out. Now. Out of his relationship with Zoey, out of this school, and out of this series.

[erikalyndis.livejournal.com]

All I can say is that this teacher is a sleazebag, Zoey is an idiot, and that Erik needs to get out. Now. Out of his relationship with Zoey, out of this school, and out of this series.

SECONDED

[madamchaos.livejournal.com]

"I could feel myself leaning into him, and I swear his body responded. I may not be highly experienced. And, hell yes, I'm still a virgin. But I'm not an utter moron (most of the time). I know when a guy is into me. And this guy—for that moment—was definitely into me. I covered his hand with my own, and forgetting about everything, including Erik and the fact that Loren was an adult vamp and I was a fledgling, I willed him to kiss me, willed him to touch me more. We stared at each other. We were both breathing hard."

Holy--

Did I just read that? Is that actually an actual thing in the actual book? You've gotta be making that up. That's-- that's horrifying. I just-- I-- augh. Augh. AUGH.

It's even worse because she struts her Virgin Cred right as she's saying it, too. "Oh, of course I'm a virgin. I'm not a slut. Also I'm in a relationship and this guy is a teacher AND THEN WE WOUND UP HOT AND SWEATY AND PANTING."

Zoey, you hypocritical little bitch.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I swear to God, I made none of that up. And we're supposed to like it.

But of course, it's Aphrodite who's the Evil Whore. She gives blowjobs, after all. Zoey doesn't, so of course she's Good and Moral.

[witty-screename.livejournal.com]

You know...If Zoey really is a self-insert for Kristin, then this series technically boils down to a young, inexperienced author writing about her glorious self-insert getting everything in life she always wanted but never got. Not particularly special; that's fanfiction. But then you take into account that this series has two authors contributing, so we also get the Suethor's MOTHER telling us how amazing and great and witty and speshul and gorgeous her own daughter is.

And then you really want to do nothing more than puke up your lunch.

Other than that, I think everyone else has taken the words out of my mouth. You wave the "Virgin and proud of it!" banner than practically strip for this guy you barely know? Plus, taking into account my comment earlier, Kristin and HER MOTHER wrote that scene together??? Jesus, PC, are you imaging your daughter at age 17 stripping for her teacher?! I don't care how romantic or "chaste" you make it seem, and I don't care how young this Blake guy really is--it's icky, wrong, and it leads to BAD SHIT in the real world, as Zelda pointed out. You two are as fucked up as Meyer is.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"But then you take into account that this series has two authors contributing, so we also get the Suethor's MOTHER telling us how amazing and great and witty and speshul and gorgeous her own daughter is."

>_< Yeah.

"Jesus, PC, are you imaging your daughter at age 17 stripping for her teacher?"

I'm really hoping that Kristin snuck that in somehow. At least, I'm praying that it wasn't PC's idea to use her daughter's self insert for that purpose.

[morri-delrae.livejournal.com]

Wow, you're tearing into this one like a hurricane!

Yet again, she keeps slapping us with the "I'm just a kid to him" dead herring, and continues with the clear implication that she wishes it were otherwise. While she is still a student in a relationship. I honestly can't stress that enough.

Well, to be honest, I had a really handsome history teacher (and a damn good one, too) in high school - straight out of college, beautiful hands, nice deep voice, cute bangs, nerdy glasses, total eye candy all over. Me and my friends not only appreciated his good looks, but also - yes, we did our fair share of flirting. We gave him what we thought were alluring smiles, we wore sexy clothes (all within the school regulations, so not very sexy after all), we joked with him like crazy, and we ceratinly gave him more cheek than the other teachers, just to see how much we could get away with. On one hand, we strived really hard to be noticed as attractive women, so that part of Zoey's behaviour I get, but on the other hand... I think validation was the only thing we really needed. We wanted to be noticed and appreciated, not actually date the guy. It was all happening within a certain pre-defined framework: we did our PG-rated flirting thing, then the professor jokingly cut our advances short and that was that. If he ever asked me to strip from my clothes, and started touching me anywhere, I would have freaked out badly.

Thanks for friending me, BTW! I'm moving from my old account (sue_hunting_duo) into a new one, so I'll be commenting from this one from now on.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I get what you're saying. ^^; Actually, if that were the case in this book - that Zoey wanted the validation but not an actual relationship - it would be a lot less squicky and more tragic with what comes in a later book (D:) But yeah, Zoey definitely does want to go into a full-on relationship with him. In a later chapter, she actually considers sneaking around with him.

Oh, no problem! ^_^

[winki-pop.livejournal.com]

Man, the Casts just aren't really trying anymore, huh? They're pretty much letting Zoey Sue have her cake and another and another after that and eating all of them, too, until she's fat with delusions of grandeur :D

I can't believe there's no real coherent narrative with these stories. At the moment, I'm writing chapter outlines for one of my stories, a rough one and a detailed one, just so I can remember things, change them later on and keep a track of the story. I thought PC was a published author already, shouldn’t she know better?

Oh my, my teacher senses are tingling! :P Actually, just like you I have a story about teacher love :P
There was one teacher at my high school who had been there ever since my mum and aunt were in high school in the 70s. Since then, he has conducted relationship after relationship with a student and had been dumped by half of them :P And he STILL works there today, with a third generation of family there now (my cousins). He's the saddest-looking bastard with his fake tan and bleached blonde hair, he's in his fucking 60s! He even had a CHILD with one of his former students! He's the baby-daddy to three kids to three different mothers!

And I'm feeling pretty bad for Erik right now. God, not even Aphrodite acts this terrible, yet she's demonised! Zoey acts far worse than her, yet she has everything handed to her on a silver platter! I can't find any real justification for anything she does. And if she DARES to get on her soapbox one more time and act like a hypocrite whore and making everyone feel bad for daring to feel good about themselves sexually and the like, I WILL show her Australia's finest and beat the crap out of her :P Geez, Zoey preaches about the evils of sex, yet she's ready to strip for Blake!

Oh, and to return to who the possible cast can be for the movie version, I have an idea for Blake at least. Naturally, whoever plays Zoey will have to be OF AGE (I cannot stress that enough, but they usually have Dawson Casting for these kinda things anyway :P), but for Blake, I found this video of Aidan Turner reading poetry on Youtube, and… there may be 4 years between us (at least I'm legal, Zoey! :P), but I'd like a poetry lesson from him ;P

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r30yNzs27j0

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Man, the Casts just aren't really trying anymore, huh? They're pretty much letting Zoey Sue have her cake and another and another after that and eating all of them, too, until she's fat with delusions of grandeur :D"

That's got to be the best analogy for this series that I've ever seen. ^_^

"And I'm feeling pretty bad for Erik right now."

You're going to feel even more sorry for the poor shmoe, trust me. I honestly get the feeling that the Cast ladies think that it's boring for Zoey to be with one guy.

Ohhh Aiden Turner! :D With that accent and...oh yes! :D

[lurkythespork.livejournal.com]

Well, this little exchange with Zoey and Blake...Why hello, Roissy, I didn't expect to see you popping up in this story.

Blake here is a classic pick-up artist. He's slick and aggressive and predatory on a level that Tucker Max would be proud of. He is playing Zoey like a harp and she's letting him. (Pick-up artists annoy me with their reductionism, misogyny, and self-absorption.)

What amuses me is that the Cast ladies are having Zoey walk right into the arms of someone whose purpose can only be to use her, while holding her up as a shining example of feminine strength and virtue. For all that they beat on Christianity, at least Christianity says to stay away from guys like Blake!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

By now, I'm firmly under the belief that the Cast ladies are anti-common sense, seeing as anyone with a speck of the stuff would see this "romance" and figure *something* is wrong or at least unprofessional. Heck, a friend of mine who is a fan of Twilight heard about this thing and her first words were "That's not right!"

And you're right about Zoey. She lectures on how blowing a guy is demeaning to women. She's supposed to be so mature and such a great leader that a freaking goddess backs her! And yet she doesn't see ANYTHING wrong with this! Not when it's happening, and not before or after.

Of course, her friends are no better, so yeah.

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

DROOLING OVER A NEW GUY ALREADY AND PRETTY MUCH WHORING HERSELF WHAT THE FLAMING-

Ahem.

She calls other girls bitches and sluts, and yet here she is flirting with a teacher without a single thought on her other boyfriend(s). Oh wait... She did, and all she thought about was that she was forgetting about Erik. And she was also forgetting that other than an adult vamp, LOREN IS ALSO A GODDAMN TEACHER. When exactly did Zoey and Erik start dating again? I'm confused. There seemed like a huge time jump between the last book and this and... Oh whatever, this book is already confusing enough.

I looked up what exactly the poem Loren recited was like and I honestly thought it sounded STUPID. I highly doubt it was anything ancient, so much as it is bullshit written by PC or Kristin. Hey Casts? The Japanese did not only write haiku poetry. The one you wrote was forced and it failed so hard. Even if it WAS an ancient Japanese poem, I don't think anyone who translated it into English would bother keeping the 5-7-5 form. If you have to write about a Japanese erotic poem, GO LOOK UP AN ACTUAL POET. There was a female Japanese poet called Ono no Komachi who was one of the greatest poets of the time. She writes erotic poetry and is said to be the only female to be mentioned in a royal poem anthology compiled by the emperor himself. SCREW YOU.

I have no idea what Loren's ulterior motives are and I don't care whether or not he had any powers at all. For all I know his special powers is to charm and seduce women. I feel a spitefic coming along.
----------------------------------------------
Spitefic:

Loren could sense her excitement; hear her blood race inside her veins as he recited the haiku. He nearly laughed at her reaction. He never expected that Zoey Redbird would fall under his Charms so easily.

In his opinion, his Charm was not all that special. It really was just a more powerful version of the vampyres' natural charm and while it only seemed to work on women, it had served him well in the past years. For one, it earned him the title of the youngest male Vamp Poet Laureate. Oh, he was never more glad that the vampyres had a very matraiarchal society.

Fledglings had always been more susceptible to his ability, since they have not developed the resistance vampyres have from each others' charms. After hearing about Zoey's special Marks and affinities, he had expected stronger resistance. It seemed that for all her powers, she was still nothing more but a fledgling.

He didn't know why he told her some cock-and-bull story about how an ancient Japanese poet wrote the haiku. She was spot on when she asked if he wrote it. In truth, the haiku was something he put together on the fly because he needed an excuse to release his Charm. He haven't mastered it enough to release the Charm at will. He had to initiate its release by speaking in the manner a man would to a lover. Like someone in deep lust.

He touched her face and spoke sweet nothings to her. And she swallowed them all up. She leaned into him, taking his hand in hers, her eyes glazing over with desire. Just like the dozens of other women before her. He stared into her eyes, letting the Charm do its work, making her believe that he wanted her as much as she does him.

Zoey was breathing hard now, so much so that she would probably start hypervantilating if he continued. So he cut off his Charm abruptly. Best not to overdo it in one go, after all. He withdrew from her, slipped back into his formal composure and bid her farewell.

As he walked away, Loren finally released the chuckle he had been holding. Oh, it's going to be a fun year for him.
---------------------------------------------
So there! I fail at writing. I could go on longer, because I can't stand not describing things properly, but this piece of fail don't deserve my effort. Not even for a spitefic.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

No, you don't fail at writing. Because that? Is practically canon. Just wait until Chosen, you'll see. Except for the Charm part which would make a ton of sense, but no. Zoey's just an idiot. -_-

I do wish someone would shake her and shout "WAKE UP YOU IDIOT!"

And it's kind of vague, but it's implied that Zoey and Erik are together by the end of Marked. There's a month-long time jump, but from what I gathered, the two were going along like they were boyfriend and girlfriend. As we see later, Erik certainly seems under the impression that they're steady. Poor guy. :(

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

It seems like the authors are trying to avoid Zoey knowing too much by "cheating in writing" like Meyer did, but by purposely avoiding the matter entirely, they just made Zoey look like a stupid airhead.

I read in Wiki that Erik got dumped because he's jealous and possessive. Two things: It just made me think Phantom even more, unfortunately, and HURR DURR not everyone accepts the polygamy on the fly like you do, bitch. It's like the problem with Anita Blake. The one guy who doesn't accept Anita's sleeping around is treated like he's being mean and not understanding the situation. Geez.

[detritius.livejournal.com]

I'm going through these again because I'm on break now and I suddenly have all the time in the world, and I thought I'd comment because I have a different perspective on this than when it was originally posted. In the past few months, I've had two male professors who, in addition to being cool and interesting, were quite attractive, and I'm not going to say I didn't notice or didn't find it distracting on occasion. But if one of them behaved even remotely like Blake here, not only would I be incredibly skeeved out, I'd also be deeply disappointed. (And I'd report them to the Dean or the head of the department at the first opportunity.) People have to have a basic kind of respect for each other, no matter how hot they are. It's sad that in something that's trying to be romantic, that kind of personal decency is one of the first things to go.

[missabnormal.livejournal.com]

Geez... is this an actual YA novel? How does this get published?! God, now I'm afraid to get published, because my book completely defies a lot of paranormal romance conventions! And I can't believe how much of a hypocrite Zoey is! She shames Aphrodite, when she is cheating on her boyfriend?! What a shallow little...

I swear, I'm so glad I never got into these series.