zelda_queen | Betrayed: Chapter 1

ZeldaQueen: *cracks knuckles* Let's just get started

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Chapter 1

Alright, here we go! Will this be as bad as Marked, or at least provide as many laughs? Only one way to find out!

We start off in the cafeteria, with everyone eating…something. I’m not entirely sure what meal it is. Anyway, Shaunee and Erin comment on how there is a new student who is the roommate of someone named Sarah Freebird. For some reason, Shaunee refers to the new student as “Tragic, Twin, just tragic”, and I have no idea why. We get absolutely nothing about her that comes across as “tragic”. The only thing I can think of is if they think it’s too bad she turned into a vampire, but being a vampire in this world is pretty much only good things, so why would they care? None of them mind being vampires! Oh, and if you’re worried that you’ve never heard of this Sarah girl before, don’t be. This is the first time she’s ever been mentioned. Apparently she has dark hair and is petite and, according to Damien, she has a very bad sense in fashion, particularly shoes. And of course he’d know all about fashion, because we’re immediately told how he’s gay, gay, gay, gayer than Paris in the spring, and so on and so forth.

We’re also introduced to one of the precious few other character traits that Damien has, which is his tendency to use “big” words. I put big in quotes, because most of what he uses shouldn’t warrant the amount of confusion that these idiots show. Just to prove me right, Damien starts talking about Sarah’s “unfortunate ugly shoe propensity” and Erin and Shaunee immediately go on about how annoying it is that he’s using words like that, gawd. At this point, we also get Erin and Shaunee’s most prominent trait hammered in - that they are twins in spirit or something like that. An interesting concept to be sure, but it’s written like bad fan fiction writers handle Fred and George, having them finish their sentences, agreeing like those two “No, no, I insist” rodents from Looney Tunes, and calling each other “Twin” every other sentence. It quickly gets very annoying, I can assure you.

Damien gets pissed at them and makes a legitimate point, that if they actually expanded their damned vocabularies, they wouldn’t be so bothered. We’re told that he was “looking offended and superior and gayer than he usually looked (even though he is definitely gay)” in case we somehow forgot that he was gay.

Stevie Rae pipes up, and we’re instantly beaten over the head with how she has a heavy Oklahoma “twang”, how she sounds like a hillbilly, and so on and so forth. She gives dictionary definitions for “propensity” and “abysmal” (another “big” word that Damien has used) and tells them to knock it off because it’s parent visitation soon and they shouldn’t be “acting like retards” when their parents arrive.

So basically it seems that the House of Night has designated events where families can go and meet with their children. This is actually an interesting idea. Apparently Zoey and most of her group have forgotten about it though, and Damien instantly drops his eyes and goes all Drama Llama because woe, his parents will surely show up and they are so disappointed in him because he’s gay as a tree full of chickadees. He’s all depressed though because it’s his birthday this month, so they’ll definitely show up to bring him his present. He’s…depressed because his parents are coming to visit and bringing him a present? Wah…? Oh, right, this ties in to him being gay, because Zoey suggests that they’ll get him the art supplies he has been wanting (because…apparently besides cross-stitching, Damien is also a painter?) and he says that the last time he asked for art supplies for a gift, he was given camping supplies and a subscription to Sports Illustrated, because Manly Men like that sort of thing.

We’re just five pages in and I already find it impossible to take this book seriously. Jesus Christ.

Zoey, meanwhile, takes the opportunity to angst and remind us that woe, her mother has married a straw fundamentalist by the name of John Heffer who is ugly and evil and hateful and missing a third dimension. As a result, she’s not looking forward to the event either.

At this point, Sarah (remember her?) and her roommate Diana show up for introductions. We’re instantly reminded that yes, Zoey is the leader of the Dark Daughters, and Diana instantly starts gushing over her filled-in Mark and tattoos. Even though she’s new and presumably shouldn’t see why that would be so odd. For all she knew, Zoey just visited a tattoo parlor on the weekend. Zoey, for her part, goes on about how it’s so usual for people to stare at her Mark, woe is her, and “I kept my smile in place, trying to make her feel better, even though I truly hated that it seemed like I was the main attraction at a freak show. Again”. *sourly* Oh yes, you’re just such a freak there, what with your tasteful and beautiful tattoos. It’s a wonder you aren’t forced to wear a bag on your head when you go outside. Just a modern-day Quasimodo, huh?

This moves to everyone talking about how Zoey got those ~~scars~~ tattoos, specifically how she fought the ghost-things. Wait, that’s public knowledge? Stevie Rae describes Zoey’s contribution to that event as “kicking butt”. You know, when she just stood there. Anyway, Sarah and Diana go off, but not before formally saluting Zoey. Zoey expresses discomfort at this and her friends instantly start blathering about how powerful and special and unique and shiny Zoey is. They then ask if Zoey has any ideas for the Dark Daughters and she has none. Because, you know, she set about trying to get rid of Aphrodite and apparently forgot about this bit. Idiot.

So yeah, it’s time for them to meet with their parents. Stevie Rae’s mother shows up, and is pretty much an Oklahoma-flavored rip-off of Mrs. Weasley, complete with being plump, bringing food for everyone, and instantly more or less adopting Zoey as her own. Even though, you know, she and Zoey have never met before in their lives.

Damien goes off to meet his parents and is hugged by his mom and has his hand shook with “exuberant masculinity” by his father.

And then Zoey’s parents show up and this all just gets really stupid and painful. Put on your hardhats, this is getting anvillicious.

Zoey instantly spazes because her stepfather is there. I have no idea why he’d want to come, given that he apparently hates Zoey and vampires alike. Given his extremely stereotypical personality, I can only see him doing it to either pretend to be a good parent or to try to preach to the vampires. Let’s see which it is.

Stevie Rae’s mother sees them as well and decides to go over and say hello. Zoey follows and then sees that her grandmother is there as well. Her grandmother hugs her and starts speaking in Cherokee because that’s what she does. Stevie Rae’s mother starts to compliment Grandma Redbird on what a fine girl Zoey is, and John butts in on how Zoey’s his daughter, so he’s the one who should be complimented. *holds head*

Zoey’s mother steps forward and starts to introduce herself as well, but is interrupted when she sees Zoey’s Mark. She promptly freaks out because oh noes, THE MARK IS FILLED IN! Why does this bother so many people? This is like Meyer’s vampires sparkling in the sunlight - it’s not something that would get this sort of response in real life!

Neferet shows up at this point and starts spouting off on how the Mark was filled in because of the blessings of Nyx and all that noise. She introduces herself to them and we’re beat over the head with how Neferet is just so beautiful and charming that even Zoey’s parents are impressed. Somehow, Zoey’s cat is brought up and John starts to be a jerk because he didn’t give permission for her to have a cat. Zoey is an equal jerk, complaining that no one but her grandmother even bothered to keep in touch with her. I feel I ought to remind everyone that Zoey made no effort to contact anyone herself.

Neferet explains about how cats are free and choose their owners and generally just sounds pompous and hammy. I really don’t blame John for snorting at all of that. Neferet offers drinks and John says no, he and his wife don’t drink, and we’re instantly told how he probably has a six pack of beer in the refrigerator at home. Because he’s Evil.

Grandma Redbird asks for the details on the…erm thrilling tale of Zoey’s Brush With Ghosts. Zoey pauses the plot to recap the last book. The only things I’ll bring up, because they’re worth remembering for later, are that Zoey definitely refers to Heath as her ex-boyfriend and Erik as her “almost-boyfriend”, even though they’ve been dating for a month…wait, it’s been a month since the last book? And she still hasn’t gotten the Dark Daughters thing sorted? What?

*sigh* Okay. So. Neferet gives a cliff notes version of what happened, basically saying that some students got into a dangerous situation and Zoey was so clever and quick-witted *snerk* that she saved the day and was…rewarded by Nyx or something. Heads up folks - those extra tattoos of Zoey’s don’t really contribute anything to the plot. They just pretty much look pretty. I have no idea what’s up with them.

Anyway, being the straw fundie that he is, John starts blathering on about how Nyx is blasphemy, Zoey’s soul’s at stake, etc. Neferet hops up on the ol’ soapbox and starts condemning him for being a narrow-minded bigot who “relegates women to roles that are little more than servants and broodmares, though they are the backbone of your church”. Okay, okay, let’s pause for two things.

First of all, I brought up the bit about the women specifically because if you’ll recall, it was brought up exactly once in the last book that Neferet was sexually abused by her father when she was a child. If that had been better developed, Neferet’s commentary on the treatment of women in the People of Faith church might have been halfway interesting. But it wasn’t so it isn’t.

Second of all, better get this out of the way now, because apparently the Cast ladies can’t be bothered - from what I understand, the People of Faith are meant to be representative of the very worst of organized religion. That is, the Cast ladies didn’t mean to suggest that all churches are like this, and it’s all hyperbole. This apparently will come into play later, when a religious group that’s meant to represent the best of organized religion shows up (and interestingly, that group is Catholic).

That being said? The Cast ladies just handled it badly. It would only have taken a sentence or two to show that these chuckleheads aren’t the norm and that there are other churches that aren’t ridiculously evil. To let your audiences know that you aren’t trying to lump all of a group, you have to actually start with exceptions. And I’m not sure when that exception is supposed to show up, but it sure ain’t this book.

Anyway, I’m sorry about that rant there. I meant to get it off of my chest in the final thoughts of Marked, but I didn’t get a chance.

Back with the ~~stupid~~ plot. Neferet tells John to either be respectful or get the flip out. He launches into a speech to Zoey about how he has washed his hands of her and how she’s on her own from now on. Erm, didn’t we go through this in Marked? Anyway, he and Zoey’s mom go off and Grandma Redbird has to leave as well. Apparently she drove Zoey’s vintage Beetle over and is leaving it with Zoey…because the House of Night has a private parking garage or something. Really, I have no idea where it’s left. There’s more talk about how Zoey has made her Cherokee ancestors proud because Cherokee people are always talking about their honorable ancestors, and then she leaves.

Zoey starts to break down and Neferet hands her a tissue and puts her arm around her and hugs her. This is a rare moment when the Cast ladies actually manage to red herring us and have Neferet look pretty nice. Unfortunately, it doesn’t last very long. Actually, not a few sentences later, Zoey asks Neferet if she ever forgave her father for sexually abusing her and Neferet says that while she hasn’t, he “like most humans, is completely inconsequential”. And we get a lot of stuff on how there’s pain behind Neferet’s eyes, la la la, why didn’t the Cast ladies develop this more? Cliched as it was, it was actually characterization.

Anyway, the chapter’s over, that’s all folks!
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Onward to: Chapter 2

Back to: Acknowledgments

Back to: Table of Contents

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

carmyn

Hey, do you think Damien is gay? I sure don't know if he's gay! I mean, the Suauthors are soo sutble and soo not stereotypical to the point of insult! I really wonder if Damien is gay...

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