Betrayed: Table Of Contents

[zelda_queen]

Fiction Notes: The first book in a Young Adult series, and yet another to feature vampires and a Mary Sue. Written by mother-daughter team of PC and Kristin Cast. Sequel to Marked

As sporked by ZeldaQueen

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT (PART 1) (PART 2)
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
CHAPTER NINETEEN
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
CHAPTER THIRTY
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
BLURB
FINAL ASSESSMENT
SPITE FICS

Return to the Sporking Chamber

Comments

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

Hey zelda, will you eventually tackle the Fledgling Handbook? When I read that book, I feel that there's something in there that bothers me, but I'm not sure what it is. Maybe the way they shoehorn their "vampyre history" nonsense into various real histories... Claiming various important people to be vampyres. I don't know. Or maybe the way the book reads more like a collection of short stories instead of a historical account.

I'm hoping that someone more careful about things could maybe find the WTF-ness in it.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I do intend to tackle it eventually, though I'm not certain when. And I do know what you're talking about. The entire thing has an air of pretentiousness to it, not to mention the fact that (A) it acts like the readers are all from the 1800s even though they're all teenagers from modern times, (B) it does nothing but repeat that people like Circe and Cleopatra were powerful vampires who were Imprinted with their guys and humans were misogynistic meanings who spread lies about them, and (C) as you said, it reads like short stories and not a freaking textbook. -_-

Also, the explanation about the biology behind the change made me bang my head on the wall. "Tracker pheremones", WTF?!?

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

I know that the line that said something along the lines of "you're no human anymore, so you're more awesome". I think they meant that they have more responsibilities as vampyres, but still.

(A) it acts like the readers are all from the 1800s even though they're all teenagers from modern times
Eh, it did? I didn't realize.

"Tracker pheremones", WTF?!?

Indeed =____= So basically the tattoos are... pointless? Since the being "Marked" didn't exactly involve immediately having that weird crescent marking on their head. Blah.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but it still rubs me the wrong way. It basically says that human teenagers are all a bunch of smelly, badly groomed primates with no sense of honor or intelligence and now that they've been Marked and thus Are Better, they'd better shape up and be awesome.

Well, I just meant how they have everyone talking about consorts and ancient warrior oaths and whatnot. It just seems like nothing is recent in that book.

I honestly don't know WHAT any of the tattoos do, besides look pretty. Zoey gets a new set at the end of every book, and her powers and intelligence and whatnot just stay the same. They basically just seem to be the more exotic equivalent of getting a gold star.

[(Anonymous)]

Two things. First, your sporkings are wonderful, and I eagerly await the third book. A friend of mine tells me it's especially "good".

Second, the link to Chapter Sixteen doesn't go to the page. Looking at the URL, there's a "v" at the end that doesn't belong.

I'll keep watch on this site! :3

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Thank you! :D And yes, Chosen is...um... special.

Ah, I fixed that. ^^; Thanks for telling me.

Thanks! XD

[ruin-takada.livejournal.com]

And by 'special' I suppose you mean 'Notes On A Scandal' special?

By the way, I know you have the HON series sort of 'covered', but I'll be happy to maybe co-spork a chapter or two, or help out in any way? This series holds a special kind of place in my heart full of hate and amusement, and, yes, you can probably see where I'm going with this?

Thanks,
Ruin X

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Late reply is late. ^^;;

And thanks for the kind offer! :) I'll be certain to keep it in mind. Given how mind-numbingly terrible this series is, I'm sure I'll need a co-sporker at some point, probably sooner than later.

[ruin-takada.livejournal.com]

Zelda,

Don't worry. I've finally managed to dig the first three out of my wardrobe, and I have the rest right where I can find them later (in case we need to make references to future books such as Untamed), so I am quite literally happy to help whenever you need me (although, keep in mind, I'm supposed to be studying for exams until June 21st. Other than that, I'm more or less at your disposal).

An added note, I've sort of decided to start sporking the HON series myself at some point. I know you're already two books in, but I feel that I have something to contribute to the perception of this series, and that, if anyone feels the need for a second interpretation, that I can provide it. This is nothing against you, of course, and I'm just letting you know about my intentions to keep you rightly informed. I don't want this to seem underhand.

Just to keep your mind at ease; no, I won't be referring to your work at all for it.

Thanks again,
Ruin XXX

Probably spoilers

[hela-morpheus.livejournal.com]

After reading your sporks, I tried to do a reread (I gave up when I was 13. As a bullying victim, some of the behavior of various characters bothered me.). I ended up having to buy my sister a new copy of the latest one after snapping part of the binding when I threw it on the ground.

Not going to beat around the bush here, they kill Elliot. Again. Execute him actually, in a way we're meant to see as 'just'. Never mind it's actually a continuity error and Elliot had been one of Stevie's followers in previous books (and was treated typically like crap), never mind that I'm pretty sure the cops would take a dim view of that (if a human killing a vampire is murder, I'm pretty sure you can't just cut off fledglings heads for conspiracy at best), and never freaking mind that everyone involved in this plot were traumatized teens (dying painfully a couple of times and being forced to murder DOES THAT). Nope, he meant to have always just been that big of a dickhead...

...In spite of LITERALLY not having done ANYTHING to ANYBODY (barring one case of an angry 'faggot' back in Marked after being publicly humiliated).

Erin actually has it worse, SHE literally dies for having five seconds doubt about Zoey. And Zoey rejoices at their deaths, MURDERS some normal humans, and lusts after a murderous, rapist demigod, because he so TROUBLED.

Fuck. Me.

I'm going to write Spitefic. Probably one where all the rehumanized fledglings run home to get a hug from their mothers and vow never to go back to that school as long as they have a choice in the matter.

Also, a note. Elliot's under 'Evil Redhead' on tvtropes. Am I the only one who thinks he doesn't really belong there? The example used is because he was an 'arsehole' in life and became a red fledgling. Anyone here think I'd be wrong to try and change it?

Re: Probably spoilers

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Dear. God.

I know Elliot was the punching bag of the series. I know he continued to be painfully evul and referred to in the most dehumanizing ways possible. I know Zoey cared not a wit that he and the other Red Fledglings were murdering homeless people for their blood (but Stevie Rae being all dirty and homeless was SIMPLY TOO MUCH).

But that? That's seriously...God! Not even Becca Fitzpatrick, who killed off her Mean Girl in the most petty and pointless way possible, was so horrible as to have her Mary Sue protagonist do it! What the fuck?!?

(Making matters even worse, I still am pretty damned convinced that Elliot was based off of someone one of the Cast ladies knew and were pissed at.)

Oh shit, dare I ask what Erin does? Although looking after the Hidden Epilogue and seeing her dating the Evil Ex, I can already see all stops were pulled on making her an asshole.

Are the normal humans she murders those black guys in Chosen? Or does she actually off more people? O_o

Yeah, I know about Kaolan. Holy fuck, I KNOW KAOLAN. And there will be words in that sporking. >(

I think a justifying edit wouldn't be amiss, at least to clarify what he does. :/

Re: Probably spoilers

[hela-morpheus.livejournal.com]

The Elliot stuff feels VERY personal. I can't help thinking he was based on some student dear old mum had to teach and he annoyed her. In Zoey's defence (bleurgh!), she doesn't swing the axe, but she doesn't care either. The whole thing comes of as the new boss 'wasserface-whose-name-I-can't-be-bothered-to-remember' doing a show trial to make herself look good and show how 'strict'.

Maybe if I'd read this when I was younger, this sort of stuff wouldn't bother me, but I'm in my 20s and my younger sister is now these characters age. If any of the stuff that happened to Elliot, Erin, Venus, and to a lesser degree Kayla and Heath, had happened to her I would be devastated. All of Zoey's 'villainous' schoolmates are just 16 year old kids who have been forced by their bitch goddess into a situation that they shouldn't have to deal with. Hey Cast's, guess what? Teens change as they grow up. As an adult I was actually friendly with the girl who cut a chunk of my hair off on the school bus!

Zoey offs more normal, humans. Some guys attempt to mug her and she flat out murders them in retaliation. You can argue self-defence, which is obviously what the Casts were going for, but it falls flat with me when the protagonist is a super strong, fast, Avatar wannabe. Also, I'm a law student. Basically, your retaliation in a case of self-defence has to be 'within reason'. Purposely killing someone for 'give me all your money' with abilities they had no hope of defending themselves from? Good luck arguing with that.

Erin doesn't do much of anything in this book. Her crimes are the stuff you listed from the previous book, being hesitant to do the ritual and thinking maybe Zoey's way isn't all that. Cue the blood sprouting.

Re: Probably spoilers

[hela-morpheus.livejournal.com]

And now I remember whose in charge: Thanatos. Who's only memorable thanks to a certain purple Titan from Marvel. Well, now that and executing three teenagers,

Re: Probably spoilers

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeees. :/ My guess had been that he was someone who annoyed Kristin in school. Either way though, killing him off is just petty.

It's not just you. The world in the House of Night is arguably more nightmare fuel-ladened than the one in the world of Twilight. I mean, consider:

- Anyone can turn into a vampire. There's seriously NOTHING you can do about it.

- Apparently modern science sucks enough that there's no way to counter or cure the transformation, so if your kid turns into a vampire? You HAVE to give them up. If you try to keep them with you so they can keep at their normal life, they'll definitely die. Of course, there's also the good chance they'll die while hidden away in Vampire Boarding School, which leads to...

- The adult vampires obviously don't care about the children. They don't encourage mourning the dead or anything. They just expect the students to sit down and shut up about their friends bloodily dying, before shipping the dead student's things back to their family. Given that the zombified vampires are seen around later, we can probably take that the bodies of the fledglings aren't even returned.

- The vampires actively teach the newcomers to cut ties to their friends and family who are still human. They teach them that humans are hateful and shallow and stupid. They basically train the students to turn on everyone they once knew. They also train the students to immediately worship THEIR goddess and follow THEIR rituals. There's nothing about accommodations for students who still want to follow their old religions. Of course, Nyx is Better and is real, unlike that silly false MALE god, so yeah.

- There's at least one instance in the series of the vampires covering up one of them murdering a human. Yes, yes, the human was an asshole victim and the vampire who did the murder fed the others a story about it being in self defense, but the vampires were implied to have known it was a lie and still made no effort to cooperate with the police.

So yeah, from the perspective of the humans, no freaking WONDER they fear and hate the vampires!

Oh Christ, that's horrible! Yeah, there's no reason Zoey couldn't have run or dodged or had the earth stick his feet to the ground or whatever. And I'm sure it's just brushed under the rug and forgotten. You know, even if we WERE to buy that Zoey's murders were justified, killing someone is a pretty psychologically shakey thing. That Zoey is in no way troubled by the fact that she KILLS people is VERY disturbing.

Oh lord. Were this any other series, I'd think that would be intended as a moral for all of them, to not break up with friends over petty arguments because you don't know how long you have. As it is though...yeah. (Although I'll bet that the Cast ladies are planning to bring back Erin, like with Stevie Rae).

Re: Probably spoilers

[star-dragon5.livejournal.com]

Hell yes to all of this. And you know what else? It sucks harder to be male in this universe than it does to be female in the Twiverse. Lilith save us.

P.S. In the handbook, they say Nyx is called Nyx-Sekhmet in Egypt. How's THAT for a mythology fail?