Child Of Grace: Chapter 50 - Qui Vive

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: Right. We are starting our chapter countdowns until the end. Only five more. Let's go!

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 50: Qui Vive

ZeldaQueen: Well, the Suethor wastes no time at all laying down the angst. We start right off of the bat with "Consciousness was such a strange thing really. More of a spectrum than absolutes. And she hovered in that everlasting grey area between wakefulness and dreaming. There but also far away. In a realm beyond mortal limitations like reality. Pain. Loss. That aching emptiness inside her mind where something – someone – should be but was not". This really annoys me, because it's similar to a line in a much better fanfiction, and just reminds me of how much I'd rather be reading that fic than this junk.

Holly regains consciousness not long after, much to my fury, and instantly starts angsting about how she can't sense her connection to Blaise. She's in a forest, but this turns out to be a dream, so I'll spare you the horrible prose describing her walking through it before she wakes up. Suffice to say, I wish to take the many fragments and beat the Suethor with them.

There's a long laundry list of descriptors as she figures out that she's in Snape's rape dungeon, and she whines a whole lot about how empty it is in her head, without her telepathy. I completely agree with that conclusion.

Snape forces her to drink a potion to wake her up and she starts asking about Blaise. Sirius shows up at this point, and tells her how Blaise is at the bottom of the lake and thus in no danger.

Okay, I'm going to have to call time for logic. The tournament involved putting the hostages in an enchanted sleep and sticking them at the bottom of the lake. I doubt it took that long to set up, and I also doubt it would take that long to pull one of them back up and wake 'em up and use someone else.

So really, if Holly had such a long and traumatic fit and Snape knows that using someone other than Blaise would help, why are they still using Blaise? Why wouldn't Snape go to Dumbledore and say "Headmaster, Holly is mentally connected to Blaise, we need to wake him up immediately or her health will suffer". Snape even said that if they had known, Sirius could have been used instead! Or one of Holly's other friends! And no, I won't accept "she's hiding her telepathy" as an acceptable excuse. Snape, rightly so, called the kids out as being idiots for not telling someone about this. There's no reason why he wouldn't go to Dumbledore about it.

*sighs* Back to the fic. Holly instantly starts to channel Ariana Black, and begins going on about how amazing it is that Snape and Sirius are in the same room and not killing each other. *rolls eyes* Right. She's also amazed that Sirius is here, and everyone tells her that she had a mental breakdown from acute Sue-ness. Snape tells her that he knows that she and Blaise are bonded. Holly starts to get all panicky that he knows, and I am quite fond of Snape's reaction

"'Yes, you foolish girl,' he scolded, apparently deciding that she was well enough for a lecture. 'I most certainly know now. What with your terrified companions bringing you here – nearly comatose – in the middle of the night. Unable to do more than whimper and wring their hands at your condition! Had Miss Lovegood not recognised your symptoms, you'd most likely be in Saint Mungo's. Drooling on your chin as your brain leaked out your ears! So yes, Miss Potter, they were smart enough to tell me. Unlike other – let us say, foolish! – members of my house.' He ended that statement with a distinctive curl to his lips and certainly not a pleasant one"

ZeldaQueen: Thank you Snape, for dutifully calling her out on that shit. I do wish that he knew exactly why she didn't tell someone about the diary and the secret tunnels, when she had the ability to end the basilisk attacks.

Snape continues to be logical (imagine!) and asks why the fuck Holly didn't tell any adults about her abilities. She says that she told Sirius and Lupin. This promptly degrades back to Arianna Black, as we get "amusing" quips from Snape about how Sirius isn't a responsible adult, nor is Lupin. I do have to agree though, it was stupid of her not to tell any teachers. For lord's sake, they have you tell the school about allergies and medical conditions you have for a reason!

We get one last refreshing bit of logic from Snape, as he points out that both he and Mrs. Zabini are also responsible for Holly's wellbeing, and she failed to inform either of them of this important condition. He also - probably correctly - guesses that Holly wouldn't even have told Sirius about her telepathy if her parents hadn't known and told him. And then this lovely speech goes down the drain with the Suethor hammering to us how Snape is hurt that the brainless twit didn't trust him. AUGH!

And then there's a lot of farting around about how Holly has one hour to get freshened up before the event. Yay.

Scene break, and we're at the lake. I hate this bit. I really do. I know I say that a lot about stuff in this fic, but just watch.

Snape takes Holly to the lake because she's pretty much a baby in this, and apparently Malfoy slipped her a bathing suit and a swim cap and the Gillyweed at some point. I feel I ought to point out that we're never actually told how Holly got the Gillyweed in the first place. She doesn't even know Dobby works at the castle, and there's no mention of stealing it from Snape.

Cedric and Krum fawn over her when she shows up, and the Suethor faps while describing Krum in his swim trunks. Oh, and Krum is only looking at Holly in her suit. Considering that she's apparently tiny and starved, I wouldn't imagine that her figure would be something to drop your jaw over.

While Bagman introduces the event, Holly downs the Gillyweed and notes that she already practiced with it in the Prefect's bathroom. "Cedric's hint had been good for something after all". Bitch. Oh, and of course she can't look bad in front of her audience, not knowing what to expect.

Everyone dives for the water, and the Suethor once again "fixes" Krums mistake by having the shark head be deliberate. I hate this. Anyway, Holly has cast a spell so she isn't cold by the water, and turns a piece of debris into a huge swordfish that can survive in freshwater and that she's pretty much lassoed to. She uses this to speed past all of the champions and the Grindylow, who can't catch her.

Incidentally, "I can fix it" attitude aside, what is up with this chick turning stuff into animals like that? She's a fourth year, isn't something like that beyond her? We never hear about what she's learned, so there's very little information on what her limits are. *glares at Suethor*

And now she's with the merpeople themselves! How will Holly elbow her way through canon? Let's take a look! Quoting and summarizing can't do this justice, folks! Sporking time!
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The bottom of the lake became visible in no time, and it only took a few minutes more for her to see the outline of the mervillage.

ZeldaQueen: Read - because the Suethor's too lazy to think of more details

She slowed the swordfish as they reached the outskirts, instead choosing to swim on her own with it following along behind her.

ZeldaQueen: Because everything should be behind her!

Holly passed by odd stone dwellings with open doorways and what seemed to be windows without glass.

ZeldaQueen: No, imagine that! People underwater don't do glasswork? Well that just shatters my perception of reality!

And yes, I know they could steal glass from elsewhere. How would they cut it down to fit a window? They don't know magic

The grey-skinned faces of the merpeople peeked out at her as she went, yellow eyes narrowed and thoughtful but also full of excitement.

ZeldaQueen: Get ready for the mer-Sues. What, you think anyone the least bit good could be threatening to the Sue?

Several even came out of their houses, watching openly as she went by and eyeing her fins, gills, and fishy companion with obvious interest.

ZeldaQueen: They'll be disappointed. Holly's one of the most boring characters I've ever read about

After all, this was probably the most entertainment they'd had in years. Watching a bunch of wizards and witches make idiots of themselves. Holly knew that in their place she'd probably drowned from laughing so hard.

ZeldaQueen: Well, that's because you're a pretentious bitch who needs to be taken down a few notches

If they even could drowned. She wasn't sure about that part.

ZeldaQueen: They're merpeople with gills! GEE, I WONDER!

And she was still considering that as the houses around her became more numerous. As did the number of spectators. Swimming in farther and farther into the village until she came open what appeared to be the town centre, a circle of tall pillars with a giant merperson statue in the middle. And tied to the tail of it were the still forms of four hostages.

ZeldaQueen: *starts to fall asleep from boredom*

Holly cast a single glance at the merpeople around her. Dozens, maybe even up to a hundred or more, many carrying very sharp looking spears. But when, they did nothing more than stare back, she swept forward.

ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "Tch, as if anyone could hinder me!"

Oh, and that first comma was unnecessary

All Holly could see was Blaise. Chin tucked to his chest and brown hair drifting in the current. Eyes closed and hands bound behind his back.

ZeldaQueen: Fragments running amok

All she could feel was the void in her soul as it went from dully aching to a roaring in her ears. So close. Reaching out. Nearly there.

ZeldaQueen: Care to step up the emo a little more?

But she stopped short in front of him as her eyes caught up with the rest of her. As she took in the sheer enormity of the situation. The fact that not only was Blaise tied down here but so were three other people.

ZeldaQueen: So apparently she's so self-absorbed she fails to notice that there are three people in a death-like sleep, tied to statues underwater in a very sinister situation. Wow

Cho Chang, Viktor's cousin Radek, and a little girl who could only be Fleur Delacour's sister. All of them in a deep sleep. All of them just as seemingly lifeless.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, the Suethor rammed her fucking original character in there. No reason for Krum to miss Hermione after all. Holly's so much better, he doesn't look twice at Hermione! *snarls and rages*

There was a sudden lump in throat that had nothing to do with the remnants of Gillyweed still present. And Holly could only swivel her head from one to the next as her heart sunk down near her ankles.

ZeldaQueen: Harry's first response was to untie Ron and then untie the others. Her response is to angst and sob.

Here's an idea, you idiot. Why don't you do something?

She needed to take Blaise and go. She needed him. And not just as a hostage. They needed to leave and get the hell away from here.

ZeldaQueen: So DO IT!

But...

ZeldaQueen: Blaise was really a woman!

But Fleur's sister looked like she couldn't be more than eight or nine years old. And Viktor's cousin was always so nice to her, was Titania Shacklebolt's boyfriend. And Cho, while not the friendliest of people, was still a student at her school.

ZeldaQueen: That's nice. "Well, she's a kid and he kisses my butt and sucks my friend's face and I guess Cho doesn't deserve to die, even though she's a bitch. I might as well save them"

Holly couldn't just leave them.

ZeldaQueen: Look, you angsty bitch. Either DO SOMETHING, or shut up

And as if sensing her dilemma, a voice spoke up from just to her left.

ZeldaQueen: "Hello, I'm a M.A.R.Y.S.U.E. assassin! Prepare to die!"

"They will come to no harm, witch-child."

ZeldaQueen: Get ready for a really disgusting bail-out, folks

Holly whirled to see a particularly ferocious and wild looking merwoman – mermaid? – watching her from by the nearest pillar. Her eyes were yellow like the rest of them, hair also a deep green, but there was something to the way she held herself. Something commanding but also elegant. And Holly just knew that this was the person in charge.

ZeldaQueen: I hate the mer-Sues. I really do.

And of course Holly is so important that she has the head of the mermaid community address her

"We will not let them drowned," the woman continued as if knowing that Holly was taking her measure. "They cannot even wake until they reach the surface. Friend Albus has ensured it, and he has long proven himself a great guardian to those both above and below the surface."

ZeldaQueen: Oh for the love of -

SUETHOR! WHAT IS YOUR BEEF WITH THIS THING WE CALL TENSION AND CONFLICT? WOULD IT KILL YOU TO KEEP A LITTLE IN?

I'm sorry, but this is just...it's INFURIATING! It's totally out of character as well! The merman told Harry that they weren't allowed to help! Isn't giving her advice like that a form of assistance? The merpeople didn't get chummy with the champions! They were just observers!

But of course, we all know why this little exchange is going on. The Suethor just couldn't stand to have Holly come in last place or make a fool of herself like Harry did, but she also couldn't just have Holly run off without risking being called out on the bitchiness. So she has Holly just being told that they're safe, so she can run off without guilt.

Guess what, Suethor? It doesn't work. You and your little Sue both suck. Harry was an idiot, but he was a brave one. This task showed us a bit about his character, which we saw later with the "rescue" in the Department of Mysteries. If he thought someone was in trouble, he went to save them! That's what we learned about him! What are we supposed to learn about Holly from this? That she doesn't have to work for anything because all answers are conveniently dropped in her lap?

"Yes. Of course," Holly said in a near mumble.

But the chieftain still heard her.

ZeldaQueen: (Chieftain) "What did you call my mother?"

"You speak our language?" the woman questioned then, daring to move closer with an extremely interested cast to her face and dolphin-like tail twitching excitedly.

ZeldaQueen: First of all, why is this so amazing? Mermish is a language like any other. Plenty of people speak it

Second of all, Holly's speaking something other than English? Really? I never would have guessed. I'd imagine it would have been less out of left field if we had been TOLD THIS!

Holly shifted. "Not normally," she sheepishly replied. "I haven't had time to learn."

ZeldaQueen: Oh, look at how humble she is! *gags*

"And yet, you still had the foresight to attempt magic to do so." Admiration was clear in her voice. "Very impressive. Which of the schools do you attend? Is Friend Albus your keeper? Your mentor, yes?"

ZeldaQueen: Yet again, why is this such a big deal? Seriously, people know Mermish! The champions were supposed to know about the merpeople already! Which leads to my second point...

GOD FUCKING DAMN, ARE YOU STUPID SUETHOR! EXCUSE ME, BUT WHY THE FUCK WOULD THE MERMAID NOT KNOW ABOUT HOLLY?

Seriously, they are in on it! Dumbledore told them all about this! They know which champion goes with which hostage! Why wouldn't they know which champion went with which school?

There was something peculiar to her tone. Almost searching.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, searching for canon

"Yes, he is my headmaster," Holly returned slowly. Not sure if this was a good or bad thing. But judging from the woman's expression it was more likely the former.

ZeldaQueen: Because everything that's not Evil lives to serve Holly

"I thought as much." She gave sharp nod and then pointed her spear towards the hostages. "Go on. You should not delay. The others will be here soon."

ZeldaQueen: I hate this fic so very, very much

"Right," the Slytherin allowed with a nod in return before going back to the task at hand. Her retrieval of Blaise.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, you need to do something now!

He was so close. Just out of reach. Tied to the statue with his brown hair soaked and robes drifting in the water. He nearly looked dead, and if it weren't for the steady stream of bubbles coming from his mouth, Holly would almost think he was. She couldn't hear him. Not like she always could, there in the very back of her head. But looking at him, it was almost like she could. A faint echo in her ears, a ringing in the void. Drawing her closer. Begging her to reach out.

ZeldaQueen: Mystery Science Theater 3000?

And her fingers went for him before she even thought it through. Hand lifting of its own accord and floating through the water until it met his face.

ZeldaQueen: Am I supposed to like such a clueless person?

Then, she was lost. Dragged under. Jerked

ZeldaQueen: - off

in a thousand different directions. As her mind battered against the block between them like waves crashing on the shore. Thunderous and heavy and so impossibly desperate.

ZeldaQueen: Didn't she take the potion thing? Isn't she supposed to not be telepathic? Hello?

Thrashing and roiling until a fine crack appeared. But that only spurned it on further. Made it that much more ferocious and frantic. Scrabbling and scrambling, talons dug deep until it cracked further and just a bit – the teeniest and tiniest hint – could get through.

ZeldaQueen: *glances at watch* Are we done here?

Clawing even more as that became a trickle. As she could finally feel Blaise alive if distant. And something like a howl built in her chest, something like triumph swelled.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, yes, cue the orchestra

But a firm hand on her wrist suddenly brought her back to herself. Pulled her away. And Holly heaved a breath through her gills and then another. Blinked her eyes to see the murky depths around them and Blaise still unconscious before her. Belatedly realising that the chieftain was holding her steady, eyes wide and very concerned.

ZeldaQueen: Why is she interfering, again?

"Witch-child?" she questioned, not loosening her grip, even as the girl stilled.

ZeldaQueen: Dude, kill her! Just impale her right here! Save us all from this misery!

"I..." Holly began.

But she shook her head furiously. Trying to free herself from the desperate feeling boiling up from inside. Boxing it in and shoving it down. Using what little connection and strength she could now feel from Blaise to wrap a binding around her wounded soul and forcing it to quiet.

ZeldaQueen: FOR FUCK'S SAKE, YOU SPENT A HANDFUL OF SENTENCES GETTING HERE AND ARE HUNG UP ON DESCRIBING THIS???

"Witch-child?" the chieftain asked again and just watched her for a moment before gradually letting go. She seemed on the verge of questioning further but then seemed to think the better of it. "Perhaps you should take your boy and go."

ZeldaQueen: (Chieftain) "We tire of so many Sues in our village"

"I... Yes, we need to go."

ZeldaQueen: Yes, go fuck yourself

Holly mentally stumbled over the sentence, shaking her head once more for good measure. And she turned back to Blaise and hesitantly used her wand to free him.

ZeldaQueen: Movie canon. Oy

Very aware that the merwoman was floating nearby, poised to catch her once more.

ZeldaQueen: First of all, how can she "catch" her? They're underwater

Second of all, JESUS FUCK, EVEN THE MERPEOPLE ARE HOLDING HER HAND HERE! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE EXPLICITLY NOT SUPPOSED TO!

With trembling hands, Holly brought Blaise to her, taking painstaking care to only touch his robes and not bare skin.

ZeldaQueen: That's what she said?

She secured him with a spell before lassoing her still waiting swordfish once more. But she paused as the chieftain reached out to touch her again.

ZeldaQueen: What is it with touching in this fic? Everyone's always groping each other

"What is your name, witch-child?" she asked then, just before Holly could direct her fishy chariot away.

ZeldaQueen: Mary Sue, evil incarnate

"Holly," the Slytherin replied automatically.

More than a little surprised that the word translated.

ZedaQueen: You seem to be missing a subject in that sentence

Though Dumbledore's first name did, so she really shouldn't have been.

ZeldaQueen: What was the point of that?

"Holly Potter."

The chieftain gave her a toothy smile, an odd thing for a woman who lived underwater. "I find you very interesting, Holly Potter.

ZeldaQueen: Why? Because she had a seizure? How's that so interesting?

The next time Friend Albus visits be sure to come with him."

ZeldaQueen: WHAT THE FUCK NO!

It was not so much a command as a suggestion. But one that warranted further consideration when she wasn't at the bottom of the lake with an unconscious Blaise, time ticking short, and another mental meltdown in the works.

ZeldaQueen: I fail to understand how she keeps managing to make these things so boring

Holly just nodded, not trusting herself to speak. Then, she was off. Pulled full force behind the swordfish as it darted for the far shore. And it seemed like the journey back took no time at all. Not nearly as long as getting there.

ZeldaQueen: OH THANK YOU FOR TELLING US, SINCE YOU FAILED TO SHOW US HOW LONG THE TRIP GETTING THERE WAS!

Or perhaps her perception was just skewed. Tilted slightly since her heart and stomach weren't twisted around each other anymore and Blaise was still firmly at her side. A warm if faint presence in her mind.

ZeldaQueen: Because the Sue is so useless unless someone is holding her hand and clinging to her

They broke the surface directly in front of the judge's table, and Holly couldn't have possibly made it more perfect if she had planned it that way. She had just enough time to pat her swordfish on the nose before she ended the spell and it was just a floating piece of trash once more.

ZeldaQueen: *gags*

But that was driven from her mind as Blaise gave a great shudder beside her, simultaneously opening his eyes as he spat out a gust of water.

ZeldaQueen: That's also what she said
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ZeldaQueen: So yeah, everyone drags out Holly and Blaise and warms them up, and we're told that Holly is the first one back and set a new record under twenty minutes. *spits* The only thing I'll say, lest I explode, is how is there a record time? I thought the tasks were always new.

Holly briefly spares a moment of worry about the other champions and hostages, but forgets about it (YES, REALLY) and gets all mushy with Blaise and pretty much steals the Krum and Hermione moment from canon. Blaise tells her that he's sorry to make things so hard, and "I had no clue what they were going to do or else I would've refused".

*raises eyebrows* In canon, we were told that McGonagall clearly told the champions exactly what would happen to them. Did the Suethor actually think they were kidnapped or something?

Anyway, the Suethor gives almost twice as much detail to this one scene as to the entire second task. We also have Blaise pulling the beetle out of Holly's hair and nearly squashing it, only failing to do so because the other champions show up. I have to wonder, why is Rita still spying on Holly? In canon, she went where the juicy stuff was. Harry didn't have scandals going for him, so she started making it look like Hermione was a whore and Hagrid was a brute. Holly's too perfect sweet, so why bother? Why not spend her time interviewing someone who would give up the goods on her?

In any case, I'm betting that the story comes out next chapter and everyone is horribly indignant and swears revenge against Skeeter, because it's Holly's reputation on the line and not that loser Hagrid's.

Oh, and during the conversation with Blaise, Holly hears "an odd buzzing sensation in her head, like there was someone else close by. But she was still too shaken up to figure out the source. Having to search visually instead but not seeing anyone who was close enough to hear besides her head of House. And he knew already". That doesn't count as foreshadowing, Suethor. That makes Holly look dumb as a shovel.
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Qui Vive: who goes there, on guard; a sentinel's challenge. Literally, (long) live who?

ZeldaQueen: And that has what to do with this chapter?

AN: Med school is hard. That's all I have to say about it. And I haven't even been through finals for this block yet; those aren't until January.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, we know, you're school is hard and it's slowing you down. You can stop reminding us, now

There's also a quote from Mulan in here. Bonus points if you catch it.

ZeldaQueen: Don't you go sullying the awesomeness of Mulan in this dung heap!
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Onward to: Chapter 51: Skeeter's Scurrilus Scoop

Back to: Chapter 49: Raison D'etre

Return to: Table of Contents

Comments

[das-mervin.livejournal.com]

I find it incredible that someone can write a story that is both simultaneously the most boring and most infuriating work of fanfiction ever devised.

My icon is all I want to say to you, Holly Potter.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I really have no idea how she manages it. I would have thought one would have had to actively work at it to get this bad.

[parrinoyed.livejournal.com]

I keep thinking "whaa, whaa, whaa" (as in crying) and I'm not sure if I'm doing it to echo Holly's general attitude, or my own pain when reading the quotes.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Maybe it's both. ^^;

[beacon80.livejournal.com]

Some technical points:
1) As you point out, transfiguring objects into animals is beyond fourth-year. At this point, they've transfigured animals into objects and back, but not the other way around.
2) Transfiguring an object into an animal does not give you mental control over it. The swordfish should have just swam away (same thing applies to the birds during the first challenge). Hermione had to use another spell to make her birds attack Ron (and they were summoned, not configured).
3) I have to infer that she cast a spell to let her speak and understand Mermish... because Harry was too dumb to, I guess. Of course, there are no spells like that in Harry Potter, or else Fudge would have used one to speak to the Bulgarians.

[sotnosen93.livejournal.com]

"Anyway, Holly has cast a spell so she isn't cold by the water, and turns a piece of debris into a huge swordfish that can survive in freshwater and that she's pretty much lassoed to. She uses this to speed past all of the champions and the Grindylow, who can't catch her."

When I read that, I suddenly imagined reality coming on a visit, with her arms getting ripped off from the speed.