Evermore: Chapter 11
Dec. 14th, 2010 10:31 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: And here we are, with another guest sporking for shaolina! Hooray!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 11
So, we start off being told that it's almost Halloween and Ever is still working on her costume. She tells us that Haven is going as a vampire, and treats this like common knowledge. Has Haven been like the stereotypical vampire-lover or something? Anyway, Miles is going as a pirate, which was his second choice. It seems that he originally wanted to be Madonna, cone breasts and all, but Ever talked him out of it. Yes, I can see how "pirate" comes in second to "trampy rock star". And what is it with making all of one's gay characters completely camp? Anyway, Ever tells us that she's not letting us in on what her costume is, partly because she doesn't think she'll get it done. Even though she just said she was working on the finishing touches. Huh.
This party's being thrown by someone named Sabine, and this surprises Ever because she didn't think Sabine was into parties or that she was popular enough to get more than five guests. Turns out that Sabine is more popular than Ever thought. Please, like a group of crazy high schoolers would pass up any opportunity to go nuts. And maybe my memory's really bad or something, but I swear that I can't remember Sabine from Shaolina's previous recaps. It's like she just jumped out of thin air or something. So all of this talk about how Sabine is weirdly popular and whatnot is meaningless to me. I don't know her.
Shaolina: *Pops in* Actually, Sabine is Ever's aunt, as seen in chapter 7.
ZeldaQueen: What? Then why doesn't Ever call her "Aunt Sabine"?
Shaolina: Look, I don’t know. I keep thinking she’s a puppet she can manipulate psychically. It’s not like she’s had real lines in this thing so far. *Leaves*
ZeldaQueen: We get some descriptors of who's in charge of what for the party and Ever tells us about how she loves decorating stuff for holidays. While this is more telling instead of showing, I do have to give the author credit for at least trying to give us an idea of stuff that Ever likes, as opposed to Some Literary Females *cough*Bella*cough* who don't seem to like anything without some sort of complaint.
Riley joins in on the decorating (am I the only one who finds Riley insufferably annoying?) and starts trying to get Ever to go as a mermaid or "one of those kids from those OC reality shows". OC? What? Is Noel just trying to avoid naming specific shows for copyright reasons or something? And right after that, either the PDF I'm using has a typo or the book does.
"'Oh jeez, don't tell me you still watch that stuffy I say, balancing precariously on the second to last rung, so I can string up yet another faux spider web"
ZeldaQueen: I think there's supposed to be a comma and quote marks after the "stuff", or else Ever is accusing Riley of still watching "stuffy I say", whatever show that is.
Riley blames her TV viewing habits on Tivo and Ever asks her if that means that the afterlife has Tivo, telling us that Riley is very close-lipped about what goes on in the afterlife. If the sex thing is any indicator, voyeurism, I'd say. Instead, Riley laughs at Ever and says she's gullible. Gee, what a sweet girl.
Riley offers to be the one to string up the lights, since she can float and thus do it easier. Ever refuses, on the grounds that "Even though it might be easier, I still like to pretend my life is somewhat normal". Yes, normal. That's why you use your psychic powers to absorb information for school without actually reading.
Anyway, Riley starts badgering Ever about what her costume will be and Ever tells her to butt out, since Riley won't tell her stuff so there's no reason for Ever to spill all of her beans. Riley pouts and Ever tells her to chillax, since she'll be tagging along for the party and get to see the costume them. Riley squees and then starts badgering Ever about whether "[her] boyfriend" will be there. Wow, what a brat. Ever tells her she has no boyfriend and Riley starts badgering more, until she tricks Ever into accidentally referring to Damen as her boyfriend. Riley proceeds to dance around, singing "I knew it!" and seriously, why am I supposed to like her? I can understand Ever putting up with this to an extent, since the kid's dead and all, but there's a limit before one says "enough" and slaps such an annoying child silly. Ever, meanwhile responds by saying that she doesn't like Damen, never did, he was just a cute boy she had a crush on, and she no longer thinks he's cute and thus is no longer crushing on him. Because once someone is no longer attractive, they no longer are attracted to them.
Ever then starts beating us over the head with how defensive that sounds, thus cluing us in to SHE'S IN DENIAL, MUST BE LOVE!!! Riley still doesn't shut up.
We skip ahead to Halloween and are treated to an extensive list of Ever's decorations. It's a laundry list and pretty boring, but at least it's not in purple prose. We're told that Riley is dressed as a mermaid, almost definitely Ariel, given the talk of her red wig, purple shell bra, green tail, and Ever saying that Riley looks "like [her] favorite Disney character". Ever, meanwhile, is trying to find some way to slip into her costume without Riley spying. Look, just tell the little brat to wait a few minutes!
Instead of just waiting to see the costume herself, Riley starts badgering Ever to tell her what it is. She says "the suspense is really killing me" and starts laughing like a lunatic. Ever tells us that Riley thinks that death puns are hilarious. Ever, understandably, cringes at them. Again, what a nice little sister there. Ever manages to get rid of the brat by sending her to check out if Sabine is wearing an ugly witch's nose with her costume or not. As soon as the brat is gone, we get an extensive laundry list of Ever's costume bits, which include a black dress, tall blonde wig, and rhinestone jewelry. Turns out, she's Marie Antoinette. Classy. Riley comments on the costume and then mentions, out of the blue, how she'll never be a teenager. This gets Ever upset, understandably, but it's still pretty random. Riley shrugs the whole thing off, and they go to the party.
Haven, Miles, and their friends arrive and Haven is bitchy because Ever didn't invite Damen. What a nice friend there, telling someone who to invite to their own party. Ever points out that Damen has pretty much taken up residence with Stacia and hasn't spoken to them in two weeks, which would be a valid point for dropping him, except that (a) she says it in a "I'm pretending not to care, but I really do, so that's why I'm pissy" way and (b) we all know who Damen's going to hook up with by the end. Seriously, how predictable are these books? She also acts like this is some horrible betrayal, Damen's leaving her, but really, they weren't dating! Their interactions could have been those of friends. They don't know anything about each other!
Haven starts telling her friend Evangeline about how perfect Damen is. Evangeline calls bullshit and Haven pretty much goes "Lalala, not listening" and goes back to that stupid dibs thing, saying that she calls Damen, so Evangeline can't have him. Ever mentions that Evangeline will never hold to that and I kind of don't blame her. It's one thing for someone to say "I have a crush on that guy, I'd love to date him," and her friends respect that. It's another to go marching around, saying "THIS GUY IS MINE AND NO ONE BUT ME CAN HAVE HIM!!!" Seriously, doesn't Damen's choice matter here?
So we get a rundown of what's going on at the party, when the doorbell rings. GEE, I WONDER WHO THIS IS??? Surprise, it's Damen! And what do you know, he just happens to be dressed as Count Fersen, even though Ever didn't tell anyone she was dressed as Marie Antoinette! And he's gatecrashing, how nice! I guess he can get away with it because he's hot.
So Damen gives Ever some flowers and follows her in. Haven squees when she sees Damen and realizes who he's dressed as and gets all pissy, asking Ever when they arranged for this. He assures Haven that it's complete coincidence and puts his arm around Ever's waist for no reason. Um, I might be a bit old fashioned, but considering their interaction thus far, that seems a little bold thar. I mean, I could see really good friends doing that in jest, or a dating couple doing it, and I know that it's SUBTLE FORESHADOWING for Ever and Damen hooking up, but still! The guy hangs around Ever, then starts ignoring her and hanging out with this Stacia chick, and now is holding her in a fairly intimate way. What.
Evangeline, of course, goes gaga over Damen, steals his hat, and drags him off. While they're gone, Haven flips her shit at Ever, screaming about how she wanted Damen, beyotch, what's Ever playing at? I really would feel sorry for Haven here, except that she honestly is just weird with that dibs thing. From what I understand, Damen has shown no interest in her and she just goes around going "I want him, so you can't have him". Ever, meanwhile, keeps insisting that it's coincidence and points out that Evangeline is pretty much "humping his leg over there". Haven handwaves this by saying that Evangeline does that to everyone (what.) and we're told that Riley is mimicking Haven's actions for Ever's amusement and this is really just boring. Ever is at the end of her rope and asks what she has to do to convince Haven that she's not a man-stealer and Haven says "don't say a word" and tells Ever that if Damen likes her, he likes her. Ever insists that there's nothing going on between herself and Damen and Haven accuses her of lying. Gag me.
Riley is all gleeful about this and then the doorbell rings. Riley rushes over to answer it and it's a lady named Ava, hired by Sabine for the party. Fair enough...except she can also see Riley. Ever asks if Ava is a caterer and she's told no, Ava's hired as a psychic. DUN, DUN, DUUUUUN!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: And that's all I have to say about that. Well done on Shaolina, for getting through this mess so far. *applauds*
More of Shaolina's Evermore Sporkings
Guest Sporkings
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 11
So, we start off being told that it's almost Halloween and Ever is still working on her costume. She tells us that Haven is going as a vampire, and treats this like common knowledge. Has Haven been like the stereotypical vampire-lover or something? Anyway, Miles is going as a pirate, which was his second choice. It seems that he originally wanted to be Madonna, cone breasts and all, but Ever talked him out of it. Yes, I can see how "pirate" comes in second to "trampy rock star". And what is it with making all of one's gay characters completely camp? Anyway, Ever tells us that she's not letting us in on what her costume is, partly because she doesn't think she'll get it done. Even though she just said she was working on the finishing touches. Huh.
This party's being thrown by someone named Sabine, and this surprises Ever because she didn't think Sabine was into parties or that she was popular enough to get more than five guests. Turns out that Sabine is more popular than Ever thought. Please, like a group of crazy high schoolers would pass up any opportunity to go nuts. And maybe my memory's really bad or something, but I swear that I can't remember Sabine from Shaolina's previous recaps. It's like she just jumped out of thin air or something. So all of this talk about how Sabine is weirdly popular and whatnot is meaningless to me. I don't know her.
Shaolina: *Pops in* Actually, Sabine is Ever's aunt, as seen in chapter 7.
ZeldaQueen: What? Then why doesn't Ever call her "Aunt Sabine"?
Shaolina: Look, I don’t know. I keep thinking she’s a puppet she can manipulate psychically. It’s not like she’s had real lines in this thing so far. *Leaves*
ZeldaQueen: We get some descriptors of who's in charge of what for the party and Ever tells us about how she loves decorating stuff for holidays. While this is more telling instead of showing, I do have to give the author credit for at least trying to give us an idea of stuff that Ever likes, as opposed to Some Literary Females *cough*Bella*cough* who don't seem to like anything without some sort of complaint.
Riley joins in on the decorating (am I the only one who finds Riley insufferably annoying?) and starts trying to get Ever to go as a mermaid or "one of those kids from those OC reality shows". OC? What? Is Noel just trying to avoid naming specific shows for copyright reasons or something? And right after that, either the PDF I'm using has a typo or the book does.
"'Oh jeez, don't tell me you still watch that stuffy I say, balancing precariously on the second to last rung, so I can string up yet another faux spider web"
ZeldaQueen: I think there's supposed to be a comma and quote marks after the "stuff", or else Ever is accusing Riley of still watching "stuffy I say", whatever show that is.
Riley blames her TV viewing habits on Tivo and Ever asks her if that means that the afterlife has Tivo, telling us that Riley is very close-lipped about what goes on in the afterlife. If the sex thing is any indicator, voyeurism, I'd say. Instead, Riley laughs at Ever and says she's gullible. Gee, what a sweet girl.
Riley offers to be the one to string up the lights, since she can float and thus do it easier. Ever refuses, on the grounds that "Even though it might be easier, I still like to pretend my life is somewhat normal". Yes, normal. That's why you use your psychic powers to absorb information for school without actually reading.
Anyway, Riley starts badgering Ever about what her costume will be and Ever tells her to butt out, since Riley won't tell her stuff so there's no reason for Ever to spill all of her beans. Riley pouts and Ever tells her to chillax, since she'll be tagging along for the party and get to see the costume them. Riley squees and then starts badgering Ever about whether "[her] boyfriend" will be there. Wow, what a brat. Ever tells her she has no boyfriend and Riley starts badgering more, until she tricks Ever into accidentally referring to Damen as her boyfriend. Riley proceeds to dance around, singing "I knew it!" and seriously, why am I supposed to like her? I can understand Ever putting up with this to an extent, since the kid's dead and all, but there's a limit before one says "enough" and slaps such an annoying child silly. Ever, meanwhile responds by saying that she doesn't like Damen, never did, he was just a cute boy she had a crush on, and she no longer thinks he's cute and thus is no longer crushing on him. Because once someone is no longer attractive, they no longer are attracted to them.
Ever then starts beating us over the head with how defensive that sounds, thus cluing us in to SHE'S IN DENIAL, MUST BE LOVE!!! Riley still doesn't shut up.
We skip ahead to Halloween and are treated to an extensive list of Ever's decorations. It's a laundry list and pretty boring, but at least it's not in purple prose. We're told that Riley is dressed as a mermaid, almost definitely Ariel, given the talk of her red wig, purple shell bra, green tail, and Ever saying that Riley looks "like [her] favorite Disney character". Ever, meanwhile, is trying to find some way to slip into her costume without Riley spying. Look, just tell the little brat to wait a few minutes!
Instead of just waiting to see the costume herself, Riley starts badgering Ever to tell her what it is. She says "the suspense is really killing me" and starts laughing like a lunatic. Ever tells us that Riley thinks that death puns are hilarious. Ever, understandably, cringes at them. Again, what a nice little sister there. Ever manages to get rid of the brat by sending her to check out if Sabine is wearing an ugly witch's nose with her costume or not. As soon as the brat is gone, we get an extensive laundry list of Ever's costume bits, which include a black dress, tall blonde wig, and rhinestone jewelry. Turns out, she's Marie Antoinette. Classy. Riley comments on the costume and then mentions, out of the blue, how she'll never be a teenager. This gets Ever upset, understandably, but it's still pretty random. Riley shrugs the whole thing off, and they go to the party.
Haven, Miles, and their friends arrive and Haven is bitchy because Ever didn't invite Damen. What a nice friend there, telling someone who to invite to their own party. Ever points out that Damen has pretty much taken up residence with Stacia and hasn't spoken to them in two weeks, which would be a valid point for dropping him, except that (a) she says it in a "I'm pretending not to care, but I really do, so that's why I'm pissy" way and (b) we all know who Damen's going to hook up with by the end. Seriously, how predictable are these books? She also acts like this is some horrible betrayal, Damen's leaving her, but really, they weren't dating! Their interactions could have been those of friends. They don't know anything about each other!
Haven starts telling her friend Evangeline about how perfect Damen is. Evangeline calls bullshit and Haven pretty much goes "Lalala, not listening" and goes back to that stupid dibs thing, saying that she calls Damen, so Evangeline can't have him. Ever mentions that Evangeline will never hold to that and I kind of don't blame her. It's one thing for someone to say "I have a crush on that guy, I'd love to date him," and her friends respect that. It's another to go marching around, saying "THIS GUY IS MINE AND NO ONE BUT ME CAN HAVE HIM!!!" Seriously, doesn't Damen's choice matter here?
So we get a rundown of what's going on at the party, when the doorbell rings. GEE, I WONDER WHO THIS IS??? Surprise, it's Damen! And what do you know, he just happens to be dressed as Count Fersen, even though Ever didn't tell anyone she was dressed as Marie Antoinette! And he's gatecrashing, how nice! I guess he can get away with it because he's hot.
So Damen gives Ever some flowers and follows her in. Haven squees when she sees Damen and realizes who he's dressed as and gets all pissy, asking Ever when they arranged for this. He assures Haven that it's complete coincidence and puts his arm around Ever's waist for no reason. Um, I might be a bit old fashioned, but considering their interaction thus far, that seems a little bold thar. I mean, I could see really good friends doing that in jest, or a dating couple doing it, and I know that it's SUBTLE FORESHADOWING for Ever and Damen hooking up, but still! The guy hangs around Ever, then starts ignoring her and hanging out with this Stacia chick, and now is holding her in a fairly intimate way. What.
Evangeline, of course, goes gaga over Damen, steals his hat, and drags him off. While they're gone, Haven flips her shit at Ever, screaming about how she wanted Damen, beyotch, what's Ever playing at? I really would feel sorry for Haven here, except that she honestly is just weird with that dibs thing. From what I understand, Damen has shown no interest in her and she just goes around going "I want him, so you can't have him". Ever, meanwhile, keeps insisting that it's coincidence and points out that Evangeline is pretty much "humping his leg over there". Haven handwaves this by saying that Evangeline does that to everyone (what.) and we're told that Riley is mimicking Haven's actions for Ever's amusement and this is really just boring. Ever is at the end of her rope and asks what she has to do to convince Haven that she's not a man-stealer and Haven says "don't say a word" and tells Ever that if Damen likes her, he likes her. Ever insists that there's nothing going on between herself and Damen and Haven accuses her of lying. Gag me.
Riley is all gleeful about this and then the doorbell rings. Riley rushes over to answer it and it's a lady named Ava, hired by Sabine for the party. Fair enough...except she can also see Riley. Ever asks if Ava is a caterer and she's told no, Ava's hired as a psychic. DUN, DUN, DUUUUUN!!!!!
ZeldaQueen: And that's all I have to say about that. Well done on Shaolina, for getting through this mess so far. *applauds*
More of Shaolina's Evermore Sporkings
Guest Sporkings
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 11:27 pm (UTC)In fact, why am I supposed to like any of these people? I hate Haven because she's a hysterical, obnoxious, shallow, and delusional stalker, I hate Riley because she's an obnoxious, insensitive, and immature brat, I hate Miles for being a sleazy, obnoxious, and pushy stereotype of a gay man, and I hate Damen for being a manipulative, obnoxious, two-faced player who's supposed to be the love of Ever's life and destined to be with her and all that jazz, and yet fools around with other girls just to make Ever jealous. I despise them all.
As a matter of fact, despite all her flaws, I hate Ever the least, for simply having the patience to put up with all these people without snapping and telling them to shut up already and leave her alone.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 11:41 pm (UTC)