The Host: Chapter 15
Dec. 14th, 2010 08:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Howdy folks! I’m here to tear Wanderer and Melanie a new one, for Shaolina's sporking of The Host!
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Chapter 15
ZeldaQueen: Alrighty then, let’s see. When we last left off, Wanderer/Melanie had found the human settlement and everyone was quick to be suspicious of them. Melanie was an idiot because her boyfriend was in the vicinity and they were dragged off to be locked up.
So we start off here with Wanderer waking up and, seeing that she’s perfect, she’s not disoriented or confused at all. She goes on about how she knows exactly where she is and how she takes care to try to find out what she can, without giving away that she’s conscious.
We get several pointless paragraphs in which we find out that Wanderer is hungry, Wanderer has a headache, Wanderer is sweating and in pain, Wanderer is in the dark, GOOD GOD WOMAN, SHUT UP!
FINALLY the plot starts to move forward, as Wanderer figures that she must have some sort of warden to keep an eye on her. “They wouldn’t have left me without a warden, would they? Uncle Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To leave me alone… that wouldn’t be in character with their brutality, their natural fear and hatred of what I was”. *sourly* You know, I’m still clinging to the faintest hope that Meyer will make it turn out that Wanderer is supposed to be seen as a bigoted idiot and will be taught the error of her ways. Because otherwise, she’s the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever seen. “Oh man, those humans are just soooo brutal and primative and fearful and hateful of me! I mean, it’s not like I possessed one of their own and came to spy on them and will betray them so they themselves are possessed by aliens! Che, losers!”
Anyway, Wanderer then starts to wonder if they thought she was dead or if they abandoned her in some place so remote that there’s no way of escaping alive, which is why she can’t hear guards. Wanderer starts to flip her shit at this thought, which is frankly sort of embarrassing. I mean, I can understand freaking out at the thought, but isn’t this chick supposed to be some famous alien who’s been to numerous worlds? Wouldn’t she have some experience? She’s not even trying to think of escape tactics as she panics, for crying out loud!
She hears a noise and starts freaking out even more if that’s possible, only to turn and see an opening in her cell. Jared, who we find out is her guard, is glaring at her and shoving in a tray with food and water. Wanderer dives right on in and seems vaguely surprised that the humans would feed her. Yeah, hospitality to one’s enemies is kind of a foreign notion to you, isn’t it, sweetheart?
We then get waaaaaaay too many paragraphs about Wanderer eating her bread and soup. Okay, to be fair, I think Meyer was going for trying to capture Wanderer’s experience about tasting something new, while in such a desperate state. But really, this is just more laundry list-ing. There is no emotion in it. Thus, what could have been interesting is just really tedious.
Wanderer finishes the meal and Jared fishes back the tray. She wonders why she’s being fed, unless the doctor won the argument and is going to examine her. Melanie reappears at this point, incredulously commenting that she can’t believe that Jared hit her. Um…okay. Wanderer is still the only one who gets the logic behind that and comments that it‘s about time Melanie reappeared and “It would be poor manners to get me into this mess and then abandon me”. Beg pardon.
EXCUSE ME??? YOU POSSESSED HER! YOU FORCED HER TO COME OUT HERE! YES, SHE WAS AN IDIOT TO TELL YOU WHERE THIS PLACE WAS, BUT SHE HAS NO CONTROL OVER HER BODY! YOU DO! STOP BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR MISTAKES!!!
Okay. So. Melanie won’t shut up about Jared hitting her and in other circumstances, I might understand the fear and confusion. But really, it just won’t enter her head that he doesn’t know she’s alive! Melanie muses that she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to hit Jared and Wanderer replies that sure she could, since she’s “naturally violent”. Wanderer tops this off by bringing up Melanie’s prior daydream about strangling the Seeker. So planning and starting to go through what is pretty much genocide of a species while wearing their skin for your own purposes is just fine but imagining strangling a person who has killed others, attempted to kill you, and is really annoying to boot, even by her own species’ admittance, is just too damn far? THE HYPOCRISY, IT BUUUUUURNS!!!
Melanie is still dumb and doesn’t catch on to that at all. Instead, she insists that she’s pretty sure she’d never hit Jared and insists that she’d never hurt Jamie at all. Huh, so she remembers her brother. That’s good to know. She implies that she wouldn’t even be able to hurt Jamie if he was possessed and Wanderer is surprised to find that this is true for the both of them. Wanderer quickly hand waves this by saying that it’s different, because Melanie is like Jamie’s mother and “Mothers are irrational here. Too many emotions”. The only reason I don’t scream at that is because Melanie does call Wanderer out on it, by saying “Motherhood is always emotional - even for you souls” and Wanderer can’t think of a response. Instead, Melanie asks about what’s going on. Wanderer points out that Melanie’s the one who knows humans, so her guess is as good as anyone’s. Wanderer still isn’t too optimistic about their fate though, since why on Earth would these horrible, violent humans ever keep them healthy?
We get a random flashback to a time when Melanie accidentally burned her hand on a pan and was shocked by how painful it was. I’m not calling her stupid on that one, because I’ve had that happen to me a lot at Wendy’s, but I will call Meyer an idiot. Because Meyer expects us to believe that by accidentally grabbing a hot pan, Melanie somehow burned off all of the fingerprints on her right hand. I’m sorry, but how the hell does that work? Even if the pan was somehow hot on the handle, your fingertips don’t really touch that. Your palm does. The only way I can imagine that happening is if Melanie willingly laid her hand on the pan, perfectly flat. And the way it’s described, she simply was picking it up. And if the pan was so hot, why wouldn’t she pull her hand away as soon as she felt the pain, rather than leave her hand there until her fingerprints burned off! That doesn’t just happen casually, Meyer, otherwise we'd have a lot more criminals getting away with stuff!
Somehow, that stupid bit transits to Wanderer reflecting on how shitty the planet was, before the souls came. This time, however, she admits that humans do have really good aspects as well as really bad
“I’d never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds—the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions… the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world?”
ZeldaQueen: I’m happy that at least we’re getting some inclusion of the good stuff, as opposed to “humans are irredeemably evil!!!” But “light without the darkness”? Really? Because yeah, there’s no “darkness” in enslaving and killing an entire population. Idiot.
Melanie pipes up at this point, and says that she felt something when he hit her. Wanderer sarcastically replies that so did she and Melanie specifies. Apparently she had spent all of this time thinking that everything she felt towards Jared was her own love, but has come to an odd conclusion - Wanderer has fallen in love with Jared herself. Of course she has.
SHE DOESN’T KNOW THE GUY!!!
All she has to work with was Melanie’s memories and this one meeting, a meeting which you all remember consisted of him glaring and snarling and hitting her.
Anyway, Melanie makes a valid point, which is how the hell does a worm-alien-thing fall in love with a human man? Wanderer replies that it’s just a result of her being in Melanie’s human body, accessing her human memories. In other words, it’s a result of Melanie’s love for him. She hopes that if and/or when she gets a new body, she’ll lose her feelings for Jared. Now, the whole "mind is a plaything of the body" is an interesting concept, which has been used many a time before, and in any other case, I'd be curious about how this would pan out. Knowing Meyer, we'll find out that it really is true love. Of course.
Melanie then remembers that she has a brother and talks about how glad she is that Jared is there to look after Jamie. She wishes to find out how Jamie is doing and Wanderer pretty much says “hell no”, since she knows that a question like that from her would go over like a lead balloon. At the same time, we see that Wanderer is worried about Jamie, wondering if he’s being well-cared for. Interesting…
Melanie wonders if anyone will tell Jamie that she’s here and Wanderer asks if that will help or hurt him. Melanie wishes she could tell Jamie she kept her promise to come back and Wanderer assures her that she did alright. Melanie thanks Wanderer for helping her out on that one. Apparently Melanie has short-term memory loss, as she appears to have forgotten both that Wanderer was going to betray all of these humans, Jamie included, and that Wanderer was a complete idiot and nearly got them killed in the desert.
We are then treated to far too many paragraphs, describing how Wanderer is tired and how she tries to stretch into a comfortable position before falling asleep. She then wakes up, and again Meyer spends waaaaaaay too long describing all of this. Wanderer hears Kyle talking to Jared outside of the cell. Ian is also there, and it's established that he's the Good, Reasonable one while Kyle is the Hot-Headed Jerk. They're arguing that it's dangerous to keep Wanderer locked up, since it ups the odds of her escaping and betraying them. Kyle adds in that either they let the Doc study her or they kill her. Of course, Meyer writes Kyle as being as wrathful as possible, but he really has a good point there. Anyway, Wanderer finally figures out that Jared is keeping her locked up but protected and Melanie gushes over how great he is. *sighs* At least Jared isn't angsting endlessly over his Poor Beloved, like Edward would be.
The arguing outside becomes increasingly furious and both Wanderer and Melanie are so freaked out at the thought of Jared being hurt that they just freeze and do jack-all. Seriously, Melanie survived on her own and Wanderer is supposed to be some great explorer. I can understand them being scared or worried, but wouldn't it also be in their nature to try to plan for something? Maybe construct a weapon of some sort? Try to set up an ambush for when these guys come in after them? Something? I'm starting to suspect that Meyer simply doesn't know how prepared, seasoned fighters or strategists react in emergencies, so that's why even when she tries to write strong female characters, it falls flat. She just doesn't know what to do. If that theory's correct, it explains a lot and is damned SAD.
Anyway, we get some prose that implies that Jared was attacked and Wanderer screams and throws herself through the door.
ZeldaQueen: And that's The Host and I wash my hands of it! Good luck with the rest, Shaolina!
More of Shaolina's The Host Sporkings
Guest Sporkings
Projection Room Voices: So you’ve got a guest sporking?
ZeldaQueen: Didn‘t I just say that? Let‘er rip!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 15
ZeldaQueen: Alrighty then, let’s see. When we last left off, Wanderer/Melanie had found the human settlement and everyone was quick to be suspicious of them. Melanie was an idiot because her boyfriend was in the vicinity and they were dragged off to be locked up.
So we start off here with Wanderer waking up and, seeing that she’s perfect, she’s not disoriented or confused at all. She goes on about how she knows exactly where she is and how she takes care to try to find out what she can, without giving away that she’s conscious.
We get several pointless paragraphs in which we find out that Wanderer is hungry, Wanderer has a headache, Wanderer is sweating and in pain, Wanderer is in the dark, GOOD GOD WOMAN, SHUT UP!
FINALLY the plot starts to move forward, as Wanderer figures that she must have some sort of warden to keep an eye on her. “They wouldn’t have left me without a warden, would they? Uncle Jeb and his omnipresent rifle, or someone less sympathetic. To leave me alone… that wouldn’t be in character with their brutality, their natural fear and hatred of what I was”. *sourly* You know, I’m still clinging to the faintest hope that Meyer will make it turn out that Wanderer is supposed to be seen as a bigoted idiot and will be taught the error of her ways. Because otherwise, she’s the biggest hypocrite I’ve ever seen. “Oh man, those humans are just soooo brutal and primative and fearful and hateful of me! I mean, it’s not like I possessed one of their own and came to spy on them and will betray them so they themselves are possessed by aliens! Che, losers!”
Anyway, Wanderer then starts to wonder if they thought she was dead or if they abandoned her in some place so remote that there’s no way of escaping alive, which is why she can’t hear guards. Wanderer starts to flip her shit at this thought, which is frankly sort of embarrassing. I mean, I can understand freaking out at the thought, but isn’t this chick supposed to be some famous alien who’s been to numerous worlds? Wouldn’t she have some experience? She’s not even trying to think of escape tactics as she panics, for crying out loud!
She hears a noise and starts freaking out even more if that’s possible, only to turn and see an opening in her cell. Jared, who we find out is her guard, is glaring at her and shoving in a tray with food and water. Wanderer dives right on in and seems vaguely surprised that the humans would feed her. Yeah, hospitality to one’s enemies is kind of a foreign notion to you, isn’t it, sweetheart?
We then get waaaaaaay too many paragraphs about Wanderer eating her bread and soup. Okay, to be fair, I think Meyer was going for trying to capture Wanderer’s experience about tasting something new, while in such a desperate state. But really, this is just more laundry list-ing. There is no emotion in it. Thus, what could have been interesting is just really tedious.
Wanderer finishes the meal and Jared fishes back the tray. She wonders why she’s being fed, unless the doctor won the argument and is going to examine her. Melanie reappears at this point, incredulously commenting that she can’t believe that Jared hit her. Um…okay. Wanderer is still the only one who gets the logic behind that and comments that it‘s about time Melanie reappeared and “It would be poor manners to get me into this mess and then abandon me”. Beg pardon.
EXCUSE ME??? YOU POSSESSED HER! YOU FORCED HER TO COME OUT HERE! YES, SHE WAS AN IDIOT TO TELL YOU WHERE THIS PLACE WAS, BUT SHE HAS NO CONTROL OVER HER BODY! YOU DO! STOP BLAMING OTHER PEOPLE FOR YOUR MISTAKES!!!
Okay. So. Melanie won’t shut up about Jared hitting her and in other circumstances, I might understand the fear and confusion. But really, it just won’t enter her head that he doesn’t know she’s alive! Melanie muses that she doesn’t think she’d ever be able to hit Jared and Wanderer replies that sure she could, since she’s “naturally violent”. Wanderer tops this off by bringing up Melanie’s prior daydream about strangling the Seeker. So planning and starting to go through what is pretty much genocide of a species while wearing their skin for your own purposes is just fine but imagining strangling a person who has killed others, attempted to kill you, and is really annoying to boot, even by her own species’ admittance, is just too damn far? THE HYPOCRISY, IT BUUUUUURNS!!!
Melanie is still dumb and doesn’t catch on to that at all. Instead, she insists that she’s pretty sure she’d never hit Jared and insists that she’d never hurt Jamie at all. Huh, so she remembers her brother. That’s good to know. She implies that she wouldn’t even be able to hurt Jamie if he was possessed and Wanderer is surprised to find that this is true for the both of them. Wanderer quickly hand waves this by saying that it’s different, because Melanie is like Jamie’s mother and “Mothers are irrational here. Too many emotions”. The only reason I don’t scream at that is because Melanie does call Wanderer out on it, by saying “Motherhood is always emotional - even for you souls” and Wanderer can’t think of a response. Instead, Melanie asks about what’s going on. Wanderer points out that Melanie’s the one who knows humans, so her guess is as good as anyone’s. Wanderer still isn’t too optimistic about their fate though, since why on Earth would these horrible, violent humans ever keep them healthy?
We get a random flashback to a time when Melanie accidentally burned her hand on a pan and was shocked by how painful it was. I’m not calling her stupid on that one, because I’ve had that happen to me a lot at Wendy’s, but I will call Meyer an idiot. Because Meyer expects us to believe that by accidentally grabbing a hot pan, Melanie somehow burned off all of the fingerprints on her right hand. I’m sorry, but how the hell does that work? Even if the pan was somehow hot on the handle, your fingertips don’t really touch that. Your palm does. The only way I can imagine that happening is if Melanie willingly laid her hand on the pan, perfectly flat. And the way it’s described, she simply was picking it up. And if the pan was so hot, why wouldn’t she pull her hand away as soon as she felt the pain, rather than leave her hand there until her fingerprints burned off! That doesn’t just happen casually, Meyer, otherwise we'd have a lot more criminals getting away with stuff!
Somehow, that stupid bit transits to Wanderer reflecting on how shitty the planet was, before the souls came. This time, however, she admits that humans do have really good aspects as well as really bad
“I’d never lived on a planet where such atrocities could happen, even before the souls came. This place was truly the highest and the lowest of all worlds—the most beautiful senses, the most exquisite emotions… the most malevolent desires, the darkest deeds. Perhaps it was meant to be so. Perhaps without the lows, the highs could not be reached. Were the souls the exception to that rule? Could they have the light without the darkness of this world?”
ZeldaQueen: I’m happy that at least we’re getting some inclusion of the good stuff, as opposed to “humans are irredeemably evil!!!” But “light without the darkness”? Really? Because yeah, there’s no “darkness” in enslaving and killing an entire population. Idiot.
Melanie pipes up at this point, and says that she felt something when he hit her. Wanderer sarcastically replies that so did she and Melanie specifies. Apparently she had spent all of this time thinking that everything she felt towards Jared was her own love, but has come to an odd conclusion - Wanderer has fallen in love with Jared herself. Of course she has.
SHE DOESN’T KNOW THE GUY!!!
All she has to work with was Melanie’s memories and this one meeting, a meeting which you all remember consisted of him glaring and snarling and hitting her.
Anyway, Melanie makes a valid point, which is how the hell does a worm-alien-thing fall in love with a human man? Wanderer replies that it’s just a result of her being in Melanie’s human body, accessing her human memories. In other words, it’s a result of Melanie’s love for him. She hopes that if and/or when she gets a new body, she’ll lose her feelings for Jared. Now, the whole "mind is a plaything of the body" is an interesting concept, which has been used many a time before, and in any other case, I'd be curious about how this would pan out. Knowing Meyer, we'll find out that it really is true love. Of course.
Melanie then remembers that she has a brother and talks about how glad she is that Jared is there to look after Jamie. She wishes to find out how Jamie is doing and Wanderer pretty much says “hell no”, since she knows that a question like that from her would go over like a lead balloon. At the same time, we see that Wanderer is worried about Jamie, wondering if he’s being well-cared for. Interesting…
Melanie wonders if anyone will tell Jamie that she’s here and Wanderer asks if that will help or hurt him. Melanie wishes she could tell Jamie she kept her promise to come back and Wanderer assures her that she did alright. Melanie thanks Wanderer for helping her out on that one. Apparently Melanie has short-term memory loss, as she appears to have forgotten both that Wanderer was going to betray all of these humans, Jamie included, and that Wanderer was a complete idiot and nearly got them killed in the desert.
We are then treated to far too many paragraphs, describing how Wanderer is tired and how she tries to stretch into a comfortable position before falling asleep. She then wakes up, and again Meyer spends waaaaaaay too long describing all of this. Wanderer hears Kyle talking to Jared outside of the cell. Ian is also there, and it's established that he's the Good, Reasonable one while Kyle is the Hot-Headed Jerk. They're arguing that it's dangerous to keep Wanderer locked up, since it ups the odds of her escaping and betraying them. Kyle adds in that either they let the Doc study her or they kill her. Of course, Meyer writes Kyle as being as wrathful as possible, but he really has a good point there. Anyway, Wanderer finally figures out that Jared is keeping her locked up but protected and Melanie gushes over how great he is. *sighs* At least Jared isn't angsting endlessly over his Poor Beloved, like Edward would be.
The arguing outside becomes increasingly furious and both Wanderer and Melanie are so freaked out at the thought of Jared being hurt that they just freeze and do jack-all. Seriously, Melanie survived on her own and Wanderer is supposed to be some great explorer. I can understand them being scared or worried, but wouldn't it also be in their nature to try to plan for something? Maybe construct a weapon of some sort? Try to set up an ambush for when these guys come in after them? Something? I'm starting to suspect that Meyer simply doesn't know how prepared, seasoned fighters or strategists react in emergencies, so that's why even when she tries to write strong female characters, it falls flat. She just doesn't know what to do. If that theory's correct, it explains a lot and is damned SAD.
Anyway, we get some prose that implies that Jared was attacked and Wanderer screams and throws herself through the door.
ZeldaQueen: And that's The Host and I wash my hands of it! Good luck with the rest, Shaolina!
More of Shaolina's The Host Sporkings
Guest Sporkings
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
Pan handle burns
Date: 2010-12-15 11:02 am (UTC)Having said that! The pan handle may weirdly be possible. I say this, because I have a severely scarred left hand thanks to grabbing a pan handle that was hot- and the skin searing to the metal, causing my palm to lock in place around the handle and leaving my fingertips pressed to it.
It burnt the fingerprints off- of course, it pretty much burnt everything else off too.
In conclusion: Melanie is either extremely scarred or stupid enough to put her fingertips on a pan base.
I vote stupid.
Re: Pan handle burns
Date: 2010-12-15 03:04 pm (UTC)So yeah, I vote the same. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 10:08 pm (UTC)Whenever I start daydreaming some spitefics for this book, I realize that for Melanie, I'm channeling Mrs. Hyde's version of Rosalie! (Then again, Mrs. Hyde writes Meyer's characters better anyway.)
Imagine a Melanie with actual strength, craftily leading Wanderer out to die in the desert of exposure and dehydration. Letting Jared's location slip would be a decoy.
...Oh man, now I want to write that story.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 10:29 pm (UTC)To be very fair, Melanie is a better survivalist than Bella, although that's hardly an accomplishment. The trouble is that she gets about halfway there, calling out Wanderer or something, and then goes and does something stupid, like begging her boyfriend for sex while they're hiding from aliens.
You should! ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 11:02 pm (UTC)Why are we supposed to root for Wanderer? Why? She's a member of a race that makes it their duty to forcibly brainwash humans and take control of their minds, and she sees nothing wrong with it. She takes every opportunity to belittle humans for their depravity without bothering to think about the moral implications of controlling them against their will. That doesn't make her look enlightened; that makes her look like a monstrous hypocrite.
Yes, we humans have done terrible, horrible things. Nobody can deny that. But that doesn't justify the aliens' actions. Not all humans are horrible and the aliens shouldn't even have the right to brainwash those who are. Shaolina had a point when she earlier compared the alien-human relationship in this book to the colonizer-colonized relationship in real life. For example, take the British and the Indians. Did the Indians have some nasty things in their culture, like sati and the caste system? Yes, they did. But did that mean that the British had every right to stomp into India, take over their government and economy, proclaim them to be at the level of mentally incompetent children who they needed to "civilize" and dominate, strip them of their natural resources, exploit them in every way possible, and render them second-class citizens. No!
Stephenie Meyer just does not get it.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-15 11:33 pm (UTC)And to Meyer's credit, Melanie is constantly calling the aliens out on being bastards. The problem is that, as Shaolina pointed out, her intelligence tends to diminish when her boyfriend makes an appearance.