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erikalyndis! Heads up, everyone - our little prima dona is going to get a date for the dance. Be very afraidProjection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 47: Dancing with the Stars
ZeldaQueen: We're starting off with a sporking, because I can't properly express my rage through summarizing and quoting feels too easy
Holly had never before realised just how many students were in Hogwarts.
ZeldaQueen: That’s because the Sue’s toos stupid to grasp the concept of any number higher than three
Intellectually, she knew that the number was in the hundreds,
ZeldaQueen: “Intellectually”? Wouldn’t something like “officially” work better?
but it had not ever occurred to her just what that implied until she walked down the hallways with eyes on her every move.
ZeldaQueen: Bet that made a lot of squishing noises
With them watching her at mealtimes. Taking note of whomever she spoke to or greeted. Every flick of her hair and the way she swished her robes when she walked. She'd never before recognised just how many people watched her with more than a casual sort of interest.
ZeldaQueen: Um, if someone watches you with that much attention to detail, you usually go for a restraining order
Most of the boys and no small amount of girls.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that’s just great! Not only is Holly so great that almost all of the boys are lusting after her, but so are the school’s lesbians!
But then, she was Holly Potter, currently the leading champion and famous for defeating the most dangerous Dark Lord in recent memory.
ZeldaQueen: Actually, you’re tied with Krum for first. And given what a huge bitch you are, I’d find that most people would have started to ignore the “killed Voldemort” card
It didn't hurt that she was powerful and rich and didn't resemble a hag. Even if they had no real interest in her– magically, emotionally, or Maker forbid... sexually – most people would gnaw off their right arms to be her date. To even be seen with her.
ZeldaQueen: I’m sorry, I am literally gaping at the arrogance of this all. This is just…there are no words! Seriously! She just said “Oh, I’m powerful and rich and hot, so of course everyone wants to hang around me”. I…GAH!
They would bend their preferences and distance themselves from their normal partners for even the chance.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* So she’s so great that people are dumping their former significant others and pretending to be of other sexual orientations, just for a shot at her. You know, I don’t think even Bella Swan reached this level of Sue-ness
It was all a bit overwhelming.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, shut up! We all know you’re enjoying it!
Causing her eyebrows to lift to heights never before seen as person after person approached her with the hope of the Yule Ball dancing in their heads.
ZeldaQueen: (Holly) “As if they have a chance with me! *hair flip* Why do they even bother?”
The number of Slytherins among them was thankfully small but still present in an amount that made her uneasy.
ZeldaQueen: Because Slytherins are great and automatically do everything that the Sue (read - the suethor) approves of
And she honestly should've been surprised by the number of girls, nearing double digits by the time she finally stopped counting.
ZeldaQueen: WHY ARE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE SO OBSESSSED WITH HER?
But Holly wasn't. The magical world at large had no taboo on the matter either way, most especially since much of it either had a root in the classical Mediterranean cultures or had never adopted the majority Muggle religions.
ZeldaQueen: Because Muggles are ignorant, ignorant apes who are evil homophobes whose major religions hate homosexuals.
Shut up.
Seriously, we know of one case in this world in which someone was gay, and it apparently was kept in the closet. I’m not saying that the wizarding world is a cesspool of homophobia and bigotry, but I seriously doubt it’s this utopia of open-mindedness that the suethor’s proposing
Still, though she was very open-minded, Holly knew enough about herself to understand that she preferred boys – thank you very much – and sent her female admirers off with a sheepish smile and shake of her head.
ZeldaQueen: (Holly) “Look at how humble I am! As open-minded as I am, I must wave my hand and dismiss my entourage of loving lesbians. Alas!”
The boys were slightly harder to discourage.
ZeldaQueen: Because boys are always horny bastards who won’t take “no” for an answer, by virtue of the fact that they have a penis.
Shut up
Holly dismissed the ones she didn't know personally out of hand, figuring that if they hadn't tried to get to know her by this point that they weren't worth it.
ZeldaQueen: *sputters* Oh, that’s nice! You little bitch!
I suppose it never entered your head that maybe one or any of those guys had admired you from afar, never able to pluck up the courage to ask you out before now? Hermione accepted Krum under those conditions, you know. Or is that a swipe at her? “Oh look at Hermione the idiot! She went out with a guy she hardly knew, and ended up breaking up, the shameful horror!”
I’d like to bring up a series of dance classes I attended when I was pretty young. One of the things we learned was some of the old rules of etiquette for dining, dancing, and so on. Things like how the guy ought to pull the chair for the girl, and so on. Like I said, it was old fashioned stuff, but then the classes were for functions like that. One rule, in particular, comes to mind right now, about refusing to dance with a guy, only to turn around and dance with someone else - “To refuse to dance with one gentleman and instantly accept another is rude and only acceptable if the first gentleman is ill mannered” Something along those lines. And yes, I know a person has the right to turn down someone for a date, but coming from her? It sounds pretty much like "Oh look at me! I have such a long list of suitors, I'd better limit it to people who kissed my butt before today".
But that left quite a few who did in fact speak to her on a semi-frequent if not regular basis.
ZeldaQueen: (Holly) "Oh me, all these people giving me so much attention! How will I ever hold up?"
People like Devon Lee the Gryffindor Seeker, who gave a sad little shrug when she had turned him down.
ZeldaQueen: Of course she turned him down. He's an icky Gryffindor.
Why is she turning all of these people down, anyway? In the books, Harry had in mind that he wanted to go with Cho, so he kept turning down girls as he tried to work up his courage to ask her out. This sue apparently doesn't have anyone specific in mind, so why doesn't she just pick someone and be done with it?
Also, he spoke to her on a semi-frequent to regular basis? Have we even heard of him once, before now?
And Mordecai Montague and Constantine Warrington from her own House's team, both of whom were good sports when she declined their offers.
ZeldaQueen: Because Slytherins are always good sports. *gags*
Unfortunately, they weren't the only ones, but Holly refused time and time again.
No one in her immediate circle had asked her yet – thank the Maker and every other minor deity and being of power in existence.
ZeldaQueen: I hate you. Your arrogance infuriates me
Holly didn't even want to contemplate what she might have said to them in reply. Merely grateful that it hadn't occurred by this point, and as things were shaping up, perhaps they simply wouldn't.
ZeldaQueen: WHO IS SHE HOLDING OUT FOR? Why does she keep going on about how she hopes no one asks her out? It's like none of them are good enough for her standards!
And yes, we all know who she's going to end up going with. That's why the suethor is having her hold out. But Holly never indicates that she has someone special in mind, so what?
Luna wasn't old enough to go on her own, but Gavin was going with some third-year from Gryffindor, Athena Avis if she remembered correctly.
ZeldaQueen: How nice. I don't care
Milli had asked Theo over lunch one day, and he'd apparently accepted.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, so have those two shown any romantic interest in each other?
Daphne's date was Dimitri Dolohov, and Draco was still plucking up the courage to ask Blaise's cousin Alé.
ZeldaQueen: I hate these frigging laundry lists
Cynthia wasn't going at all, instead choosing to spend her break in Australia with her uncle and his new wife. Autumn was supposed to be going with Vince, who she had fancied for some time strangely enough.
ZeldaQueen: Of course the suethor is such a hack writer that she never shows us this attraction, no
Pansy had come across her date completely by accident, agreeing to go with Neville to save him from on overeager Ginny Weasley.
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me?
First of all, why in the seven hells would Pansy agree to go with Neville? She's a bitch. She thinks Neville's a walking joke!
Second of all, Neville went to Ginny on the rebound, and not the other way around. He asked Hermione and was turned down because Hermione went with Krum, so Ginny asked Neville out. The way things are going, Hermione should have either accepted an invitation with Krum (which we know the likelihood of that happening) or accepted an invitation with Neville. Given what we hear of Hermione in a later chapter, neither of those happen. So what the hell?
Third of all, the arrogance of that statement is just overwhelming! She pretty much said, "Oh, Ginny doesn't have a right to ask out a guy who's in my good graces, because she's a little twerp who I think is annoying. My minions are perfectly in the right to steal Neville away from Ginny. I like him, so as if she has a chance in hell with him! Who cares what Neville thinks about this, or if he actually wants to go with her, or that she is too young to go on her own, so she's also being denied a chance to partake in an exciting party? Neville is one of
Lastly, suethor? Ginny is not an overeager little girl anymore. This is the first book where she starts to mature and develop her badassery. Bottom line? LEAVE GINNY ALONE!
That only left Greg, who had expressed zero interest in the event, and Blaise.
Her best friend, of course, had his own set of problems.
ZeldaQueen: He seemed to be growing a second head, and they needed to get a date for that as well
Apparently, the idea of a platonic but deep friendship escaped people, and a good deal of them assumed that since he spent so much time with Holly that he either was her boyfriend or wanted to be.
ZeldaQueen: Considering that he's always groping her, hanging around her, and hates letting her out of his sight, I'd say that's a fair assumption to make
Which meant that they delighted in the idea of stealing him away from her and subsequently bombarded him with offers. In all honesty, he'd had nearly as many as Holly herself.
ZeldaQueen: *groans* The Mary Sue levels of this fic are sickening
Everyone from Ravenclaws to Beauxbatons' older witches.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, but why would the Beauxbatons be caught up in this? They don't know Holly! They certainly don't know Blaise! They have their own champion to fawn over! Why would they care?
Even Sophia Dolohov was among that number, but he'd yet to give her a reply as far as she knew. Maybe that meant he was actually considering it.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, jealous are we?
Nonetheless, this didn't help Holly in the slightest. She was a champion. She had to go the ball, and she would look very silly performing the opening dance without a partner. A date was a definite requirement. She just had to pick one, but easier said than done.
ZeldaQueen: Um, no it isn't. Just say yes when someone asks, you stupid bint!
She didn't want anyone getting the wrong impression. This was for the Yule Ball alone; she wasn't interested in dating at the moment or even in the near future.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that's nice. I see. "Don't get the wrong idea, I'm just going with someone because I need a date. It's not like they actually have a shot at me"
Holly had to first finish this damn tournament with her sanity and life intact. Everything else came as second or didn't even rate on her scale.
ZeldaQueen: Sounds like how she normally views anything that's not Slytherin or Ravenclaw-based
And under normal circumstances, the ball would be much the same. Picking a date was a rather small thing in comparison to the regular hassles of her time at Hogwarts. All Holly had to do was say yes when a boy asked. Or go up to somebody and bring it up on her own. She just needed to figure out which one.
ZeldaQueen: Am I the only one thinking that this is a jab at canon Harry? In any case, I hate suethors who go on about "Oh, it's so easy to get a date for a dance! Anyone should be able to do that!" Fuck you
That hit a little close to home for me. Sorry
The decision simmered on her mind for days,
ZeldaQueen: Before being strained and mixed with milk and honey and served with some biscuits
flowing through her thoughts at odd intervals. During class. At meals. When she sat down in her preferred corner of the library. And she was there by herself, excused from both the review sessions for her exams and the finals themselves, when an opportunity presented itself.
ZeldaQueen: Right, we all know what's coming up. Get good and drunk, might ease the pain
Holly sensed him before she saw him, lifting her head to see Viktor Krum turn the corner around a bookshelf and stride up to her table. He paused by the empty seat beside her and cleared his throat.
ZeldaQueen: Before she could blink, he quickly performed the full Body-Bind and called for the M.A.R.Y.S.U.E agents hidden behind the bookcases. They killed the Sue in seconds, and Krum left to ask Hermione to the dance
"May I please sit here?" he asked softly, voice a gentle tenor that held an odd note of nervousness.
ZeldaQueen: Oh for fuck's sake!
She just studied him for a second before nodding. "Sure. I don't mind."
ZeldaQueen: The banality of this all is killing me
Krum gave a little smile, barely more than a quirking of his lips, and placed his bag on the tabletop. He settled into the chair easily enough, but Holly quickly noticed that he didn't pull out any books or even a parchment and quills. Instead, his eyes just flicked around the area – like he was making sure nobody else was around, which they weren't this time of morning – and wiped a hand on his pants.
ZeldaQueen: Thank you, suethor. I'm such a better person for knowing that.
Oh, and you're not fooling anyone. You've foreshadowed this with the subtlety of a hand grenade and hammered home the fact that she needs a date. Just get on with it already
His fingers drummed on his seat for a moment, and Holly had the distinct impression that he was trying to gather the nerve to speak.
ZeldaQueen: THANK YOU SO MUCH, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS!
It was taking his merry sweet time about it, however.
ZeldaQueen: Oh my lord, what a bitch! "Well, he's clearly nervous about talking to me about something. Why doesn't he hurry up and spit it out, I'm getting impatient!"
Moments stretching on as he shifted in his chair for the third time in as many minutes.
ZeldaQueen: GET ON WITH IT!
It all served to make Holly distinctly uncomfortable. Hyperaware of the older boy just inches away from her. The fact that he was close enough to touch but didn't. And that he smelled vaguely of paper and spiced apple cider. Not at all unpleasant or altogether strange given his apparent love of the library and the time of year but still odd enough to make her take pause and inhale deeply. But still, his edginess flowed straight to her brain and made her own heart beat faster, raising her shields to block him out.
ZeldaQueen: This is very disturbing, and I suspect it's a ripoff of canon. Y'know, Harry associating that flowery smell with Ginny and all?
Finally, after several long moments of this, Holly had had enough.
ZeldaQueen: So have I.
And I love how she's had enough, like it's a crime that Krum is nervous about asking her something. Clearly, she's so sweet and compassionate
"Is there something I can help you with?" she questioned in a tone that was steady but soft, barely above a whisper.
ZeldaQueen: *rubs head* Suethor? If you put a question mark in the sentence, we know it's a question. You don't have to specify that fact elsewhere!
He still heard her. "I... Yes, actually. I believe that you can." His gaze was fixed on her face for a second before darting around again.
ZeldaQueen: GET ON WITH IT!!!
But they were still very much alone in this corner of the library. The closest person Holly sensed was Madam Pince herself nearby the main entrance. The area was completely empty. Everyone was either in class or still asleep. After all, it was just a little after eight in the morning. No sane person would be here this early. Not even close to exam time.
ZeldaQueen: At a boarding school at midterms? Please
"Yes," the Slytherin prompted when he said nothing further, too busy studying the tabletop like it held all the answers of the universe.
ZeldaQueen: So someone carved "forty-two" into the table top?
Krum cleared his throat again and swallowed. "I vas vondering if... if... your boyfriend vas around," he said in a rush. Only to have his face instantly harden like he hadn't intended to say that at all.
ZeldaQueen: My lord, this is contrived
Holly gave him a sceptical look until his words caught up with her. She blinked. And whipped her head around so quickly that she now had a crick in her neck.
ZeldaQueen: Whip it harder, maybe it'll break
"My boyfriend?" And she didn't ever recall using that particular tone before. High and very surprised.
ZeldaQueen: (Holly) "What you actually think I'd show affection for one of you lesser beings?"
"That boy you are alvays vith," he explained. "I see him vith you everyvhere. He alvays sits next to you at dinner as vell."
ZeldaQueen: (Sue) "Oh, that's not my boyfriend, that's just my head toadie!"
It didn't take a genius to figure out who he meant.
ZeldaQueen: That's good, because everyone in this fic is as dumb as a rock
"Blaise." It was a statement more than a question.
ZeldaQueen: WE KNOW THAT, BECAUSE YOU DID NOT USE A QUESTION MARK! WE ARE NOT IDIOTS! Well, I can't speak for the fans of this, but whatever
"He's my friend. Only my friend," the Slytherin replied but shook her head at the simplicity of that answer. "Well, he's more than just a friend, but he's not my boyfriend. He's my best friend," she clarified, hoping that made sense.
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "Oh, I see. You're a whore. Gotcha"
Krum shrugged. "I think that I understand. He is dear to you, yes? But you do not date." He cocked his head to the side and lifted a brow.
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "Vat a cocktease"
"Yes! Exactly." Holly grinned. "That's it exactly." But then, something occurred to her as she replayed their conversation in her mind. "Wait? You were looking for Blaise," she asked after a few heartbeats, honestly confused.
ZeldaQueen: HOW DUMB ARE YOU, YOU STUPID COW?
"Yes... vell, no. I vasn't." Krum shifted uneasily. "I just... I did not vish to say this in front of him."
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "I'm actually a voman"
She just gazed at him, knowing that her utter confusion had to be showing on her face. Holly honestly had no idea what Krum could want to say, what could possibly make him act this way. The boy was nervous. Practically stuttering. Sweaty palms. Looking at her and then instantly away. Leg jittering against the table.
ZeldaQueen: He just ate a really hot chili pepper.
In all seriousness, how stupid is she? Okay, she knows that it's almost the Yule Ball. She was just going on about how virtually every boy in the school wants in her pants. She kept going on before now about how she and Krum are always talking, how he always seems interested in her, and so on.
And she hasn't gotten it yet.
GAH!
Acting just like all the people who had-
ZeldaQueen: Peed their pants in fear
Her thoughts came to an abrupt and fiery halt. And a hot flicker of suspicion shot down her spine and twisted around her front to settle in her belly.
ZeldaQueen: ...that's certainly an inefficient path to take
Which instantly fluttered like ten thousand butterflies had suddenly taken up residence.
ZeldaQueen: Or, perhaps, ten thousand parasitic worms. The Sue was dead within the week. *cackles*
Maker and Merlin together, was Krum trying to ask her to the Yule Ball? He couldn't possibly be doing that, could he? He was famous and a Quidditch star, didn't he already have a date? Shouldn't he already have a date?
ZeldaQueen: *beats head against wall*
But the answers to those questions quickly became apparent.
"I... Vould you go to the Yule Ball? Vith me, I mean?" he asked all in a rush, nearly forgetting to pause between each word.
Holly just looked at him. Surprised. Shocked. Blushing heatedly as his request sank in.
ZeldaQueen: FRAGMENTS DO NOT MAKE YOU SOUND LIKE A BETTER WRITER!
"Er..."
She struggled for an answer. To even make her mind process correctly. Just looking at him with what she knew had to be a wide-eyed and befuddled expression.
"If you already haff a date, I understand," Krum added then, sounding so damn sincere that she couldn't help but wince inside.
"I don't," she replied without thought. "I... er... don't have a date yet."
ZeldaQueen: Methinks the suethor used some sort of dating sim for the dialogue here
Krum's face took on a vaguely hopeful cast, black eyebrows lifting. Holly expected her heart to sink. Instead, it just fluttered. And well, she did need a date. And he had asked. So why not? It wouldn't hurt anything.
ZeldaQueen: And all of her reasoning before, about how she was afraid that it would lead to implications of "something more" go right out the window because it's a guy the suethor likes who's asking. This is disgusting
"I... Okay," she said finally.
"Okay?" he repeated. Like he couldn't quite comprehend.
ZeldaQueen: (Krum) "Vait...so I'm chained to the Mary Sue now? GAH!"
"The Yule Ball... I'll go with you," Holly clarified, trying and failing to stamp down on the sudden fluttering in her stomach.
ZeldaQueen: Why does he not understand what she means by "okay"? He asked her to the ball right before she said that. Does he not know what the word "okay" means?
"You vill?" The edges of his mouth curled upwards, dark eyes glinting with something a lot like relief mixed with excitement. "I... Thank you. I am very pleased." His cheeks glowed a faint pink then, gaze sliding away from her as he shifted in his seat.
ZeldaQueen: When is this scene over? Please, dear lord, make it end soon!
And something dawned on her in that moment as she watched him. It suddenly occurred to Holly that for all his fame and Quidditch skills, Viktor Krum was shy. Exceedingly so. Unable to meet her eyes for more than a few seconds before his blush deepened. Fingers dancing energetically across the tabletop.
ZeldaQueen: She realized that now? After all of that fussing around before?
It was actually rather cute. And more than a little bit amusing. That someone who seemed so surly and unapproachable at times could be like this.
ZeldaQueen: *flatly* Amusing. She thinks his shyness is amusing
That the arms crossed over his chest and hunched shoulders were not because he didn't like people, more like because he didn't know how to handle them.
ZeldaQueen: Suethor, please stop trying to woobify Krum. Canon did a lovely job of implying what you are delivering in a heavy-handed and painful way
That he all but stuttered through the rest of the planning – where they would meet and at what time. That he practically ran after they had it all sorted out, shooting her a quick grin and dashing for the door.
ZeldaQueen: Run, Krum! Hurry! Flee, before it's too late!
She could only stare bemusedly after him. Wondering at the strangeness of the situation. Her friends felt much the same when she told them just before lunch.
ZeldaQueen: (Sues) "Someone's happy? Plebes!"
---------------------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: And after that start, time for summarizing!
The next chunk of chapter can be described as "everyone squees over Holly's date. A lot". Seriously, we get them talking about how Holly is dating a rich, handsome, famous Quidditch player, how they're going to get married and have rich, handsome kids who are great at Quidditch, and so on. This is seriously annoying. I know that friends can be like that - heck my friends are like that - but it just is is irritating as hell, after they've spent then entire goddammed fic doing nothing but follow Holly around and squee over everything she does.
They ask what Holly's doing about dress robes, and we're told that Eren is getting Holly fixed up, and that "She thinks that my robes have to be just perfect since I'm a champion. I'm going to see and be seen. I have to both dress and act like a star". That, incidentally, is a direct quote. You can just hear the suethor cackling over how Eren is so superior to Mrs. Weasley. Please. That's like saying that Esme Cullen is superior to Mrs. Weasley.
Blaise cuts into the conversation and asks if Holly likes Krum. Holly responds by being a passive aggressive bitch to him, because he hasn't spoken to her the entire morning. Really. Blaise plays along, then asks Holly again, "I do wonder though if you really like him. Or was he just convenient". *flatly* Convenient. Really. Wow.
Holly replies that she's not sure, and pretty much asks Blaise what he cares about it. Holly? HE'S JEALOUS! Jesus H. Christ, it couldn't be more obvious! She also tells him "I needed a date, and I'd pretty much turned everyone else down. I was running out of options". Um, and who's fault is that?
Also, for some reason, the suethor feels the need to tell us exactly how many students they are passing in the hallway, and the years and houses of these students. I honestly couldn't care less.
Holly, for her part, remains totally oblivious to Blaise's clear feelings for her, and as a result is puzzled as to why he doesn't talk to her for the rest of the day. What a dumbass.
Scene break, and we open with the suethor telling us how word spread as quickly as a day later of Holly's date with Krum. Urgh. *beats head against wall* The way it's all described, it's really on par with speculation as to how the other wizarding schools would arrive.
There's also a conversation with the Weasley Twins, which leads to the subject of marriage and the suethor taking a giant crap on the entirety of the Weasley family. Well, most of it
"'But I do know that both our youngest brother and sister are among that number,' his twin inserted. 'Not to mention our mum.'
'Your mother?' Holly queried with utter confusion. Not an unusual state when dealing with these two.
'Oh, yeah. Completely shattered.' George nodded.
'You see, Holly,' Fred began, putting an arm around her shoulder and steering her towards the front doors. 'Mum wants you to join our family. Thinks it a truly splendid idea. Right up there with self-inking quills. And Gilderoy Flophard's books.'
'Not to mention a spit in the face of people like the Malfoys and Zabinis,' George continued, adding an arm from her other side. 'Having you, the Girl-Who-Lived-'
'-and Hogwarts champion-'
'-and hopefully the Triwizard winner-'
'-that, too-'
'-as a Weasley.'
'See... her secret plan is for you to marry Percy since you two get on so well,' Fred said in an undertone. 'If you were older, she'd probably pair you with Bill, especially since you're definitely better than his last few girlfriends.'
'She originally wanted you and Ron together, but now, she thinks that he's too immature for you,' George fake-whispered.
'Plus, she hopes that he'll bag Hermione, while Percy gets you,' the other twin commented with an endearing smile.
'And don't forget. Neville has to marry Ginny. And Charlie has to get with that Tonks girl. You know, Fred, the one with the cool hair.'
'Then, we'll be set.' Fred gave her shoulder a squeeze.
Holly couldn't do anything but narrow her eyes. 'What about you two?'
'Us?' Fred inquired in his most innocent and winning tone, but it didn't work on her at all.
'Mum long ago gave up hope that anyone with sense would want us,' George was quick to tell her. 'Now, she just prays that we'll stay out of prison.'"
ZeldaQueen: I'm not quite sure how to adequately express my rage over that bit, so let's have a list. And because it's a long one, let's use actual bullet points
- MRS. WEASLEY IS NOT A GOLD DIGGER! When was it ever, ever even remotely suggested in canon that she wanted her children to marry for fame and money? There was exactly one instance when she was thought to be meddling in one of her son's engagement plans, and that was because she thought Fleur was an annoying airhead! She was perfectly happy to welcome Fleur into the family when she saw that she really loved Bill.
- How long was this plan in action, exactly? Right now, Holly is fourteen. The way they're talking about it, Mrs. Weasley had this thing formulated for some time. Did she decide the first time she met Holly that she was marrying the girl off to one of her family members? When they rescued her second year? Is this supposed to be the suethor's way of bashing the nice things the family does for Holly, saying that it's all in the name of bribing her for marriage?
- How would she even get the idea for this plan? Holly has been absolutely nothing but disdainful and spiteful towards her and her family since day one. Harry actually liked the Weasleys and was always willingly hanging around them. Holly dumps them as soon as she possibly can. Rose Potter enjoyed their company more. Holly has clearly not considered Ron or Ginny amongst her friends since the second year. So what would make Mrs. Weasley think, "Oh, I think I can get her to marry into the family".
- How many times has Holly and Percy interacted in this fic? If anything, wouldn't Mrs. Weasley push for Holly to hook up with one of the twins? After all, she continues to hang around them and actually enjoys their company. Which leads to the next point
- Where the fuck do you get off at, suethor, implying that Mrs. Weasley has totally given up on Fred and George's future. Did you even read the fourth book? The entire reason she kept fighting with them was because she wanted them to get good jobs so that they could support themselves! She knew they were smart! When she saw that their joke shop was successful, she admitted that they were good at that business!
- As if Fred and George would be all depressed over their mom saying that no one would ever marry them. I'd imagine that the canon twins would just say "well then, we'll just find a pretty girl without sense" and get on with it. Did they get all depressed when they were told that their joke shop wasn't a good idea? No, they went through and did it!
- Oh look, Holly's so scary with her narrowed eyes. *yawns*
- I love how the twins use the exact same condescending terms for Lockhart that Holly and her friends and the narrator all use. Just goes to show that the "good" characters all speak with the same voice - the suethor's
- The bit about Bill is apparently foreshadowing for the fifth story arc, when there's the indication that the suethor likes him - Holly thinks that he's handsome. Right. And I have no idea why Mrs. Weasley is pairing Tonks with Charlie. Tonks is an Auror, yes, but it's not like she's particularly rich or famous and isn't that what Mrs. Weasley is going for? The same goes for Neville - yes, he's from a pureblood family, but it's not like he's rich or famous. So, how does this work, exactly?
- How nice, the suethor basically had Mrs. Weasley say "Ron is an immature clout, and Holly is too good for him". That's really nice, suethor. That's real nice.
- If Mrs. Weasley is gold digging, why would she care whether or not Ron is too immature for Holly? Wouldn't the marriage itself be all that's needed?
ZeldaQueen: Feel free to chime in with any more indignities. I'm worn out and want to finish this chapter.
We jump to holiday break, as Holly has a happy reunion with Sirius and Lupin and the Zabinis and am I done yet? No? Gah. Sirius also insists that Holly meet with the Tonks family, who are described as thus
"Andromeda – call me Andy, dear – and her husband Ted were not quite what Holly expected. They were both former Ravenclaws, pleasant but on the bookish side. Andy had an aristocratic air about her, rich dark hair and a face so close to Narcissa's that Holly nearly did a double-take. Her refined features were tempered by her dancing eyes and rakish wit, which appeared at odd times and often made everyone around burst into laughter. She was rather like Sirius in many ways but was calmer in the manner only a mother could be, a soft and soothing energy and not his boyish flair. Ted, on the other hand, was very easygoing and laid back. The type to not lose his cool or easy smile in the middle of a disaster. He was handsome, undeniably so with his heart-shaped face and almost bronzed skin, but didn't seem to care either way. And it was very easy to see why a pureblood heiress would give up everything to stay with him, her Muggleborn lover. The emotion between them practically crackled in the air. Fierce and all-encompassing but gentled by their years together"
ZeldaQueen: It seems that the suethor is determined to ignore canon's description, that Andromeda was haughty and resembled Bellatrix Lestrange. She also sued up the relationship between the couple. Isn't an ordinary love good enough? I guess not. And Ted was a "right slob". I find it hard to believe he looked like that.
We also are introduced to Tonks, who Holly has the gall to refer to as "the real oddball"
"Tonks was a cheery but clumsy sort and certainly unusual, even for the wizarding world. First and foremost, she refused to be called by her first name – Nymphadora – preferring only her last. Second, she was an Auror in training and a Hufflepuff by House, both extremely atypical for the Black family as a whole. She also happened to be a Metamorphmagus, a witch capable of changing her appearance at will with little or no effort on her part. It was a skill that she delighted in showing Holly, changing everything from her hair colour to her nose – her favourite was one that seemed suspiciously like Professor Snape's – to making herself appear like an old man reminiscent of Dumbledore. A very neat and useful ability, but it did have drawbacks. Tonks could only make herself look that way; it didn't change any of her internal parts, so she couldn't say heal herself at will or make herself male in anything but outward appearance. She couldn't turn into animals either, limited strictly to humans and their proportions"
ZeldaQueen: How is asking to be called by one's surname unusual? There are lots of people who dislike their first names and use other names instead. Also, I love how her being in Hufflepuff is treated as some weird curiosity. Because it's not like Hufflepuff could ever possibly produce anyone of any significance. And please, dear viewers, note how the suethor uses none of the flowery, flattering adjectives used for Andromeda or Ted. In fact, the suethor goes out of her way to point out the flaws in Tonk's abilities.
Holly also gets stories from Sirius about her parents. She's told that James had an older sister named Georgiana who was killed by Voldemort, that Sirius and James are cousins, that the Malfoy and Prince families were her closest living kin through marriage, and that James made Sirius her godfather to keep her in his custody instead of theirs.
I...huh. I didn't think it was possible to pack so many Mary Sue cliches into one paragraph.
We jump ahead to the approaching holidays, which "Holly hesitated in calling it Christmas – a term that was frowned upon outside of Hogwarts by just about everyone save Muggleborns and the occasional half-blood – and one that Sirius and Remus didn't even care to use most of the time. Both of them were traditionalists and didn't practice the mutated form of the classic Celtic holiday like Hogwarts did or even the Zabinis to an extent. They had the customary tree and presents, both ideas that were later stolen and incorporated into the Muggle holiday, but they diverged from there". You want to shout a little more loudly from your soapbox there, suethor? And I love the Muggle and Muggleborn bashing. "Oh, they're all idiots who stole cool ideas from us. We're so much better!"
We also get to hear about what Holly wore. And I'm really sorry for so many quotes, but this can't be ignored
"During that time, Holly of course did other things. She went with Eren to get her dress robes, a tailor-made set that were in several graduated shades of green with gold stitching and embroidery along the edges. And the older witch even had Sirius bring some of his family's jewellery out of the vault for her to look through, selecting the pieces that she thought would suit Holly best. A ring and matching bracelet with a Celtic knot design that were made of gold and a silvery metal the Slytherin suspected was platinum, along with a necklace that looked to have a diamond and emerald pendant. Sirius claimed that all three were Goblin-made and had been created generations ago. It was quite a feat he even still had them because upon the original owner's death, Goblin works traditionally reverted back to the hands of the crafter or his students. But apparently, these had been commissioned for the Black family as a whole, a neat and effective sidestepping of that culture prerogative.
Regardless, the effect that they and her robes had was stunning. Making Holly appear less like a schoolgirl and more like some wealthy heiress or debutante. Remus' eyebrows nearly rose to his hairline when she tried everything on, and even Sirius gave her a wide-eyed stare before beaming like some proud papa. He even went so far as to find his camera and snap a few photos, the better to embarrass her in front of her children someday. Eren just clapped her hands together in delight and all but patted herself on the back for her good job. She was of the opinion that Holly would – and should – be the belle of the ball. Holly thought that she was going to be overdressed compared to everyone else, especially with the jewellery, even as minimalistic as it seemed to be. This was just a school dance, not a Ministry Ball or one of those fancy shindigs that the Malfoys occasional threw, which even Draco avoided like the plague and was mostly able to miss since he was still underage"
ZeldaQueen: You know, I think Rose Potter devoted less time to obsessing over her own magnificence than this. Congratulations, suethor. You might just have outdone Rose Potter.
We skip ahead to Christmas, and there's a whole lot of description about what everyone got, and I just don't care and it's boring, so I'll spare you.
Holly is dragged into the bathroom by Eren, and we're treated to one long paragraph, describing Holly getting her makeup and hair styling done. Kill me. Please.
Okay, the rest is pointless. Holly is chauffeured to Hogwarts and everyone is milling around. Holly sees Percy in the crowd and freaks out because of what Fred and George told her. I swear to God, if this turns into some running joke...
Holly hangs around the entrance to the Great Hall, and seriously wonders if she should start calling Krum "Victor" (really? She's honestly wondering if she should call the guy who's taking her to a dance by his first name?) and then he shows up. The chapter's over.
Now let me have a rest. We go to the dance proper next chapter, and I need a hug, dammit!
-------------------------------------------
AN: I was channelling my own prom memories in this chapter, and like Holly, I have no idea what half that stuff is supposed to do.
ZeldaQueen: Is it just me, or does that sound annoyingly like Stephenie Meyer and her "Bella's Mary Sue welcome was just like my college years"?
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![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 06:14 am (UTC)I'd like to think that Krum was shocked that she said yes.
Suthor? Fuck off about how Krum's shyness is amusing. I am horribly shy (to the point of near social anxiety) and I almost threw up when my boyfriend asked me out. Being shy is not fun, and it makes it worst when people like you make fun of us. I REALLY hope you were going for 'endearing' rather than 'amusing' or else I'll have to show you what your intestines look like.
The absolute, unadulterated, and disgusting arrogance has rendered me utterly speechless. I can't even comment on the Weasley and Hermoine bashing. I just hope Cedric escapes quickly so we can plan everyone else's escape.
*hugs and gives Christmas cookies* :D 'Tis the season! Maybe the Suthor can abandon the fic for a special Christmas present? XD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 03:14 pm (UTC)At least Cedric *does* go, unlike Rose Potter. It's an incredibly stupid way to go, though. God.
Thank you! :D Lord, I do hope so. Probably not, but maybe the sporking will be caught up by then.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 10:27 am (UTC)Y'know, at first I was just annoyed with this chapter, ignoring the self-aggrandising by proxy (if such a term even exists :p) for the utterly horrible writing. Was there this many fragments at the start of this story? I don't think so. And the suethor has the gall to say that her writing has actually improved?
For example, THIS:
Causing her eyebrows to lift to heights never before seen as person after person approached her with the hope of the Yule Ball dancing in their heads.
Just... what? That just sounds so STUPID.
The characterisation is even worse. What of all the angst she complains about while she sits in the Dursley home, getting "abused"? When she enters Hogwarts, it's like a switch has been flicked, and she acts like somebody who's been brought up with being assured of their greatness all their life. Harry's genuine humility was what made him so endearing, suethor.
Also annoying is her habit of overwriting some bits and summarising (very clumsily) the rest. And sometimes it happens in one scene! The build-up to Krum proposing to her is waaaay too drawn-out, but their making plans about when to meet and Holly relating this news to her friends is summarised in two paragraphs, most of which is spent describing how positively giddy Krum is that the great Holly Potter agreed to be his date. Gah. >.<
Then the bits about Mrs. Weasley and Neville going with Pansy just to avoid "an overeager" Ginny came, and I was struck speechless. Oh, lord. I almost feel personally insulted.
Andromeda Tonks and her husband are so Sue-ified, it's hilarious.
I was channelling my own prom memories in this chapter, and like Holly, I have no idea what half that stuff is supposed to do.
Half of what stuff, exactly? If you mean the prom itself, then why slavishly describe Holly's preparations for the Ball over a whole damn chapter, while the build-up to the first task, the first task itself, AND the build-up the second task is stuffed into one measly chapter! Methinks the author cares more about the "prom stuff" than she'd admit.
And yes! Definitely brings Stephenie Meyer to mind!
Sorry for the uber long comment. ^^; Again, great job with your sporking! You're a brave woman. :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 03:22 pm (UTC)"When she enters Hogwarts, it's like a switch has been flicked, and she acts like somebody who's been brought up with being assured of their greatness all their life."
That's one of the things that gets me. She goes off on "Oh, how abused I've been" and how happy she is to have a family with the Zabinis and Sirius, and how she's used to betrayal and loss and all of that good stuff. Yet the instant someone she doesn't like enters the picture, she acts like a frigging queen! And yes, Harry's humility made him awesome. In the books, you could tell that the poor kid just wanted to go out with his crush and was really overwhelmed by girls asking him out. In this? It's just too arrogant for words.
That's one of the worst things about this fic - the suethor skims or entirely skips stuff that actually pertains to the plot, and then spends that long on stupid things that are irrelevant.
"Oh, lord. I almost feel personally insulted."
Same. I love how the suethor's willing to bend Heaven and Earth to make the Slytherins look good, but can't be bothered to keep up with Ginny's canon character development. Urgh.
"Half of what stuff, exactly?"
Oh, the suethor spends another huge paragraph going on about Eren arranging her hair and whatnot. It was REALLY boring and pointless and just more "isn't Holly the greatest?" dreck. Actual quote: "The Zabini matriarch then proceeded to do some very strange things to Holly's hair, casting spells and adding potions this way and that."
And yes, I think she really does care more about the prom, given how the next chapter goes.
It's okay! ^^ And thank you very much. We're all nearing the end, but dear LORD, it's stupid.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 07:36 pm (UTC)If it's no big deal, just ask someone and then you don't have to deal with the
peonsboys trying to ask you out. But oh, I forgot. Then you can't get Krum to ask you out. How silly of me.I'm totally with you in the hate against Suethors who seem to be under the impression that anyone who is nervous and shy about asking people out are lame (well, except when it's someone the Suethor likes. Then it's cute and endearing.) e_e;
Dear Suethor... It's not easy, because most people aren't complete stuck-up arrogant assholes who think that they're entitled to have whoever they want at the moment. Not to mention that some people get outright bullied when they finally get the courage to try to confess to their crush.
No, I'm not still slightly bitter about those two years back in high school, that's just silly...Come to think of it, it's just like what your Sue and her friends did to poor Ginny after she made that clumsy attempt to befriend Holly.Oh god, the costume porn. Dx I don't care what the Suethor did for her prom. I wasn't even interested enough to go to my own prom!
... Wait. So all the people in the school are still going "Ohhh, Holly Potter! The Girl Who Lived! She killed You-Know-Who! We must worship her!" After three years (going on four) at the same school, you'd think that only the first-years would be slightly in awe by now. Not to mention that after a while, they would notice that Holly is a bitch who doesn't deserve any attention, and they'd stay away from her.
*offers hugs* You're very strong to manage to get through this. ]= I salute you.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 07:57 pm (UTC)And Colin Creevy, don't forget about him, the poor kid.
Yes, they still are going like that over her. I swear to God, I hate that card. It was a key point of Harry's character that he disassociated himself from that title as much as possible, and the Sue just keeps lapping it up.
Thanks! Not much more, thankfully.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 08:37 pm (UTC)I hate it too. I really liked that Harry just wanted to be Harry, not Harry Potter, the Boy who Lived, Voldemort's Bane and the People's Shining Star of Hope etc. If Holly had been canon, it would never have been popular. It would have been Twilight with magic.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 08:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 07:39 pm (UTC)I mean wow. Even Rose Potter didn't disgust me this much (maybe because Rose Potter's actual writing was bad enough to be amusing; Holly's actual writing is so mediocre that the content shines through with the full force of its OOC horror). I mean wow, that was just... there are no words.
*salutes*
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 07:58 pm (UTC)Thanks!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 08:06 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 08:38 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 08:48 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 09:27 pm (UTC)First of all, what's this crap about "based on classic Mediterranean cultures"? Why doesn't she just come straight out and say, "I like Greek mythology, so I'm going to assume that British wizarding culture is a close cousin"? Also, um, I hate to say it but a fair amount of the pro-homosexual stuff in classical Greek culture was because women weren't typically regarded as useful or even much more than a nuisance (quite literally; Pandora, the first woman, was given as a curse, not a blessing). I love women, so it grates me fiercely when people ignore details like that as they fantasize about ancient cultures.
Second of all, hatin' on Christmas for being a holiday stolen from the Wiccans? Oh, Azure Tambourine, I'm so sorry, but Christmas on December 25 was established based either on the Roman bruma--their date for the winter solstice--or on Dies Natali Solis Invicti, which is the traditional birthdate of the Roman god Sol Invictus (quite the popular cult when Constantine started his reforms, by the way). It's accrued a lot of different traditions over the last couple millennia, but don't let's pretend that the Vatican consulted with the druids about the date.
Lastly, she actually said one thing--exactly one--that I can agree with, and that is: Apparently, the idea of a platonic but deep friendship escaped people. God, there are so many shippers out there with exactly that blind spot--but that's a rant for my own space and time, when I find them. Yes, I know she meant it as a dead herring (proving that she doesn't believe it either), but really...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-03 02:22 am (UTC)And I agree that it's very annoying that a lot of shippers can't get the idea of deep friendships in their heads, but they've all but acted like a couple. It's like Bella being indignant that people assume that she and Jacob are dating, even though she lets him hold her hand all of the time. So yeah, broken aesop suethor. Nice. ^^;
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-29 09:16 pm (UTC)And as well as you do the sporks, they really drive me mad--what with all the arrogance and the FRAGMENTS! I don't know why those bother me even more; but I tend to overuse fragments myself, but at least I am capable of writing a full sentence!
Considering the platonic friendships that drives me mad. I don't even like canon relationships, much less all the fanfic that must pair *everyone*.
Oh, in response to last chapter, about the movie: I haven't read the books since the 4th? And I may have seen the 5th movie, but I could have just seen the trailer (I honestly can't remember) but I did like the newest movie, thought Ron made out pretty well (in the early books, I confess he was my favorite character).
So I've been reading this for chapters and chapters but never commented before because I'm terrible like that, but I do want to say I love your sporks and sincerely hope you fully recover after this. Sending you much love and chocolate for your trouble!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-30 03:52 am (UTC)I think the fragments are so infuriating because they just keep breaking things up. It's like trying to walk but getting stopped every third step. A well-placed fragment can get a point across, but too much is just annoying.
Aw, thanks! ^^ Yeah, it's tough but I made it. Ohh, thankee! :D *noms and hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-05 11:26 pm (UTC)The only thing worse than an author getting on a soapbox is when they make up facts to do so.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-02 10:51 pm (UTC)Another thing to add; why would Ginny be asking him in the first place? In canon, the only reason she agreed at all was because she was underage. She's not even supposed to be going to the dance!
And really, what the hell is up with Holly? I've read about snobs (Who were supposed to be snobs) who were less arrogant than this.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-03 02:24 am (UTC)And I have no idea what's up with Holly. She needs to be taken down a few pegs, that's what I think.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-03 07:12 am (UTC)ALl I can say about Holly is tha she deserves to end up without a date and get laughed at by the whole school.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-03 01:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-05 05:25 am (UTC)You know what, just to make this story actually interesting, I am assuming that from this point forword. There is some great dictator out there ruling with an iron fist, and he's saving Britian for last. He wants the largest army possible to deal with any sues he may encounter.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-06 12:29 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-12-06 02:47 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-05 11:30 pm (UTC)Anyway, that aside, Krum is apparently a complete douche in this fic, no matter how shy he was. He thinks Holly has a boyfriend, but was still planning on asking her out.
Speaking of Blaise, her complaint about everyone assuming he's her boyfriend is a bit undermined by the "Harry P. & Blaise Z." listed up with the story title.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-07-02 07:06 am (UTC)I'd gnaw off my right arm to get near her all right - near enough to stab her with a spork in my left hand!
And Mordecai Montague and Constantine Warrington from her own House's team, both of whom were good sports when she declined their offers.
I wish Mordecai from Lackadaisy could get his paws on her.
Oh, and Gavin Darklighter shows up. Hello Mr. Star Wars reference!
And I have no idea why Mrs. Weasley is pairing Tonks with Charlie. Tonks is an Auror, yes, but it's not like she's particularly rich or famous and isn't that what Mrs. Weasley is going for?
She's pairing Tonks off with Charlie so Lupin and Sirius can be together, probably.
Tonks could only make herself look that way; it didn't change any of her internal parts, so she couldn't say heal herself at will or make herself male in anything but outward appearance.
Yes! A Suethor who doesn't Sue up Tonks' powers! I don't know how many stories I've read where metamorphmagi could heal themselves...
We also get to hear about what Holly wore.
I honestly read that as "that Holly whore".
*gives you a two-and-a-half-years-too-late hug*