Repenting Sin
Oct. 30th, 2010 11:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Have you ever wanted to see Harry go against everything in his character and obnoxiously take the higher ground in the name of fundamentalism? Of course you have, you filthy heathens! And so, for a special holiday treat, you're getting just that. And hey, it's doubly appropriate, what with Halloween falling on the Lord's Day and all! So here it is, Repenting Sin, by gorgeousbrowneyesslash.
Oh, and the management would like to remind you all that this sporking is in good fun and no bashing of religion is intended. Please leave the serious business at the door
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter One: The Bible
ZeldaQueen: What about it?
Draco swept into the small living room
ZeldaQueen: Making certain to get all of the popcorn bits under the sofa
that he shared with his life partner, in search of a stray text he needed for the few hours he would be spending at work that day.
ZeldaQueen: Author, you gonna explain this at all? Anything? Like why Harry - and yes, we know it's Harry - is Malfoy's lover? Or why Malfoy apparently has a boring-ass job when he seems to be filthy rich? Or why, for that matter, he's living in this place when he owns a manor?
He rustled around the couch, pulling up the cushions, pushing around stacks of papers and moving around all sorts of bits and pieces that lurked around. He sighed and stood up straight, stretching his hands into the air, then letting them fall, one falling behind his head to scratch at his back.
ZeldaQueen: Well that was certainly important!
Where the heck could the damn thing be? Maybe Harry had moved it?
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I know I left The Kama Sutra around here somewhere...
He spied the book case in the corner and approached it warily. Would it be in there?
ZeldaQueen: I don't know, a book? In a book case? Sounds like a stretch to me
He sighed and stepped up in front of
ZeldaQueen: - the train. He was getting out of this fic if it killed him
it. There was no other possible place it could be, so he started removing books upon books from the shelves in search of his much needed tome.
ZeldaQueen: I love how this book is apparently so important to him, yet we have no idea what it is or why he wants it. Way to make us care, author
He dumped them down on the floor as carefully as he could in his haste. Some of these books mhad never been opened, just sitting in place collecting dust. He paused as he picked up one to glance at the title.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "Why in the world do we have An Idiot's Guide to Canonrape? I didn't even know that was an actual title!"
"The Bible? What the. I didn't know we had one of those."
ZeldaQueen: Given Harry's reaction to it later, if Malfoy didn't get it, where the fuck did it come from? Is it one of those spontaneously appearing Bibles that keep showing up on the news or something?
He shrugged and placed it on the coffee table, as the floor was starting to fill up.
ZeldaQueen: The room's flooding?
He looked back to the shelves and suddenly exclaimed in triumph. There was that damned Magical Law text he needed!
ZeldaQueen: Sounds fascinating. Since when has Malfoy enjoyed reading about laws?
He grabbed it quickly and rushed out of the room, into the kitchen where Harry handed him some toast, along with a quick, chaste, kiss on the lips, and then he rushed to the front door, collecting his brief case and cloak on the way. He left in a bustle, toast hanging from his mouth, one arm through a sleeve and the other dangling. He'd be damned if he was late for this meeting!
ZeldaQueen: *stares*
*LAUGHS*
Oh my God, it's a homosexual Blondie and Dagwood! Please tell me that Malfoy knocked over the mailman on the way out the door!
Harry sighed in amusement as he watched Draco leave their apartment. Draco had woken a little late this morning, due to their mischievous behaviour the previous night, and then had to rush to get into the office on time.
ZeldaQueen: I thought it was Fred and George who got into the "mischievous behavior"
Why the blond still bothered to work Harry didn't know, Lord knows they have enough money to live comfortably to the end of their days ten times over.
ZeldaQueen: Ah, so the author did remember that Malfoy was filthy rich. Which begs the question of why is Malfoy still working? I doubt he would if he didn't have to
He glanced around the doorframe to the living room and noticed the mess his partner had made in his rush. He sighed again and walked into the room, intent on cleaning it up.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "Really now, I told him to wipe down that chair when he was done with the computer!"
As Harry replaced the numerous tomes back from the floor and onto the shelf, he pondered over the last few years of his life.
ZeldaQueen: It was all rather blurry, and he suspected that his character had been derailed again. At least he wasn't a nudist this time
It had been peaceful ever since he had defeated Voldemort, and he'd managed to fade into the background. He tried to stay out of the limelight as much as possible, as all the questions of reporters and the blatant stares of total strangers just brought back unwanted memories of what he'd had to face in the battle field against his mortal enemy.
ZeldaQueen: At least that bit of his character is right
He'd been with Draco since just a month and a half after the fateful date that decided he could live.
ZeldaQueen: I guess Ginny just took a flying leap then?
Although he was a living breathing being, his soul had nearly died along with Voldemort that day, and he barely recovered. The only thing that pulled him out of that deep depression had been Malfoy, taunting him to a point of total anger that he had lunged himself at the blond in a rage in the middle of the Ministry of Magic.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "This is your fault! If you weren't blond and sexy, I wouldn't constantly have fanfiction authors forcing me to snog you!"
He certainly had intentions of killing the bastard, but as soon as he registered the hate he felt, he realised he didn't hate Malfoy. And then he realised he was feeling, that he wasn't lost, and he was so shocked that he wasn't thinking straight, and he'd kissed Malfoy.
ZeldaQueen: ... Yes, because I often feel like kissing people after they spend seven years mercilessly mocking my best friends, family, and significant other
Harry smiled and shook his head in memory of that first awkward stage of "I like you, do you like me?"
ZeldaQueen: Just your average schoolyard romance here. The teasing, the kissing in the middle of the Ministry of Magic, all completely out of character, yep
They'd now been together for five and a half years, were living together in their own prestigious penthouse apartment building, and as far as Harry could tell, were very happy together and had no intentions of changing the arrangements for a very long time.
ZeldaQueen: At least until the author gets bored of this pairing
He wondered over to the coffee table and noticed a solid black book with gold embossed letters. The title read "The Bible."
ZeldaQueen: The title read its own book? That's impressive!
Harry had no idea what it was.
ZeldaQueen: OH, FOR THE LOVE OF JACK BEANS!!!
Seriously though, how could someone raised in the Muggle world for seventeen years have no idea at all what the Bible is? Was this thing written by Jack Chick?
He picked it up and flicked through it, and discovered there was a lot in it.
ZeldaQueen: That's kind of an understatement, yes.
And a lot of what? Words? Pages? Pictures of topless whores seducing people?
As there was nothing else to do that day except potter about in the house,
ZeldaQueen: OH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!!!
he sat down on the sofa and opened to the first page of text, beginning to read.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish..."
Genesis: 1:
ZeldaQueen: Get three eggs, a quart of milk, and half a cup of flour
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
ZeldaQueen: No explanation for it, the dude just got bored
Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
ZeldaQueen: Now that's just shoddy workmanship there! I can understand forgetting to put form in your earth, but leaving your Spirit of God hanging over the water? That's laziness, plain and simple!
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
ZeldaQueen: (God) "Bam, who called it?"
God saw that the light was good,
ZeldaQueen: As opposed to bad light. Man, I hate that stuff!
and he separated the light from the darkness.
ZeldaQueen: You'd think God would get a secretary for menial tasks like that. Shouldn't he be doing more important stuff, like creating life or whatnot?
God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day.
ZeldaQueen: Well, I guess even God's got to start slow on ambitious projects
Harry paused. God...He'd only ever heard a little about this before, being so excluded from everything at his young age.
ZeldaQueen: BULL, I SAY!
The Dursleys had never cared for him or his education, it was no wonder he had no concept of religion.
ZeldaQueen: And no one at school talked about it at all? Dude, I was raised agnostic and I knew about God by the time I got out of elementary school!
He continued to read of the creation of earth,
ZeldaQueen: Which was kind of backwards, since usually people are trying to get that stuff off of their nice things
and then onto the story of Adam and Eve
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, that didn't end well
and even further to the fall of man
ZeldaQueen: You know, that never would have happened if God hadn't left man sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter like He did
which is followed by Noah and the Ark.
ZeldaQueen: Which would be a great name for a rock band!
From there it started to get confusing as there were so many names,
ZeldaQueen: Given the sheer volume of the cast of Harry Potter, I find the irony of that statement to be most delicious
telling of how the population grew from its small origins,
ZeldaQueen: Read - through massive incest
the story of Abraham.
ZeldaQueen: The guy who made polygmany cool. Sort of
He continued through the book of Genesis, coming to the book of Exodus.
ZeldaQueen: Damn, he reads fast. Or does he not have to wash the dishes today?
He read of the struggles in Egypt, and that of Moses. He finally came across something called the Ten Commandments.
ZeldaQueen: It involved a dude named Charleton Heston
Exodus: 20:
ZeldaQueen: "If you can read this, you do not need bifocles"
I am the Lord you God,
ZeldaQueen: Is that like, "I heart you God"?
who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery:
ZeldaQueen: - to wander in the desert for thirty years
You shall have no other gods before me.
ZeldaQueen: - so tell the followers of every other faith to suck it
You shall not make for yourself an idol.
ZeldaQueen: Unless you're American. In which case, it's totally cool, as long as you can actually sing or something.
You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
ZeldaQueen: And you shall also not be gramatically correct and put a comma between "the Lord" and "your God"
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
ZeldaQueen: Keep it holy, man!
Honour your father and your mother.
ZeldaQueen: And if no "u"s are to be found, it's fine to just "honor" them
You shall not murder.
ZeldaQueen: Which canon already emphasizes, so no idea why this one's an issue with you
You shall not commit adultery.
ZeldaQueen: Because Harry's such a manwhore, you know?
You shall not steal.
ZeldaQueen: What does the author think fanfiction technically is?
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour.
ZeldaQueen: Now the folks down the street, they're a different story
You shall not covet your neighbour's house.
ZeldaQueen: Unless you're living in a cardboard box, in which case it's kind of understandable. Especially if your neighbor's a jackass and won't let you in, out of the rain
Harry gulped. "You shall not murder..." he repeated under his breath.
ZeldaQueen: Well, good thing he never murdered anyone!
He shut his eyes tightly, trying to forget the images of him shooting a stream of green light, hitting Voldemort square in the chest, the supposedly all powerful wizard crumpling to the ground, stone cold dead.
ZeldaQueen: And there was much rejoicing
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't block out those images. Was he condemned to hell because of what he'd had to do to survive in this life? Would he have been better to die?
ZeldaQueen: Um, that's not murder. Murder is the intentional killing of another. Harry only tried to disarm Voldemort. Voldemort was the one who threw the killing curse and was hit by the very same spell
"You shall not make for yourself an idol... Haven't I also done this? The-Boy-Who-Lived...That is a false idol, and yet it is me."
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, it's not like Harry hated being known as The-Boy-Who-Lived and thought, at best, that it was stupid
He let the book fall. Discovering religion this late in life was such a hard thing for anyone, let alone one who'd been all but forced into committing sin of the worst kind. He buried his head in his hands. What was he to do?
ZeldaQueen: Contact your local PPC agents for a quick exorcism. You'll be back to your canon self in no time!
Around midday that very same day, Sunday for that matter,
ZeldaQueen: OH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!
Draco came home from work to take Harry for lunch.
"Harry? Hun, I was thinking we could go out for lunch today?"
ZeldaQueen: Paging the Department of Redundancy Department
Not getting a reply, Draco ventured to their bedroom to see if Harry was sleeping, but the bed was crisply made, no sign of him there.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because the first place gay people always go is the bedroom. HA HA!
He wondered back to the kitchen, wondering if he had some form of muggle music player in his ears again, that silly new device Harry insisted was called an Eye-Pod. I-Pog. Whatever.
ZeldaQueen: *beats author* NO! MODERN! TECHNOLOGICAL! DEVICES!
But there was no sign of him in the kitchen either. He moved on into the living room, and found his objective.
ZeldaQueen: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to murder this Harry doppleganger and restore canon
"Hey Harry...Harry? What's the matter?" Draco was met with a strange sight of Harry sitting on the floor of the room, in front of their coffee table, with a multitude of fluoro coloured sticky notes around him, his attention on a black tome, which was covered in the same sticky notes.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "It just...isn't pretty"
As Draco spoke his name though, Harry's head snapped up and his eyes met with Draco's. "Hun? What's the matter? What are you doing?"
ZeldaQueen: Hearing Malfoy call anyone "hun" makes me die a little, inside
"Why didn't you ever tell me about any of this? Or the consequences of our whole life? It's wrong." Harry replied in a dead voice.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I'm sorry, maybe it's because I never was interested in such frivolous and silly Muggle superstitions" *curses Harry to oblivion*
"What do you mean?" Draco asked, confused.
ZeldaQueen: Gee Malfoy, he's got a Bible in front of him and is talking about their lifestyle being "wrong". What do you think is going on?
"Us! We're a sin!
ZeldaQueen: No, you're literary characters. Extraordinarily out of character and weird ones, at that
Not to mention all the other foul things I've done that will condemn me!"
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "I allowed another fanfiction writer to have her way with me! I can't believe it!"
"Harry, what are you going on about?" Draco asked, approaching the seated man. He sat down next to him and attempted to wrap his arms around the man he loved, only to be pushed violently away.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) *having woken up* "Alright, where's Ginny and why are we living together?"
"Don't you dare touch me!" Harry exclaimed, jumping to his feet and rushing to the other side of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Playing hard to get, Harry?
"Harry –" Draco protested, his voice hurt.
ZeldaQueen: Eh, just put a bandage on it and it'll be fine
"Leviticus 18:22
ZeldaQueen: Actually, it's Eastern Standard, 12:04
Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable!
ZeldaQueen: Yeah! Don't you know you have to tell men entirely different lies than for women? Not many men care if their butt looks fat, after all!
Detestable Draco! We're disgusting! It's a fucking sin what we do every night!"
"Harry please, what's gotten into you?" Draco exclaimed, totally confused as to what was happening.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I mean really, it's not like we are lying down when I'm sucking your dick!"
"The Bible has, that's what! You left it on the coffee table this morning when you went through all the books.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, gotta say, stupid move there, Malfoy
I've never seen one before, Draco, so I sat down and read it.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "I didn't want to, but the author held a gun to my head"
I've read most of it. I'm a living, walking sin!
ZeldaQueen: I wonder how much a circus would pay for one of those?
I've committed murder, I'm a false idol, people worship me as a god, I've lied, I've slept with men as one would with a woman – multiple times! – and most of all, I'm a fucking wizard!"
ZeldaQueen: Aw, don't be sad, Harry! Just make it back to canon and none of this will trouble you anymore
AN: This started as a One-Shot, but it's turned into heaps more.
ZeldaQueen: Um, it still is a one-shot, thus far. And who uses the word "heaps"?
I couldn't just not upload what I have though, so here you go.
ZeldaQueen: Yes you could have. Just don't click the "upload" button
Let me know what you think in a review!
ZeldaQueen: See my above comments
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ZeldaQueen: So yeah, Happy Halloween to everyone, and be sure to eat lots of candy! And even if you don't celebrate Halloween, eat lots of candy anyway.
On a different note, the sporkings for the upcoming months might be a bit few and far between. This is because I am going to be participating in NaNoWriMo, and I have a feeling that it's going to be all I can do to make it to fifty thousand words in that month. And on the subject of NaNoWriMo, if anyone is at all interested, I will be posting my story as I go along. You can read it at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zq_nanowrimo, should you be so inclined. I'm hoping that by forcing myself to post it, I can hold myself to the deadlines. Or something. I don't know. In any case, feel free to take a gander and watch me make a fool of myself if you want
Return to the Sporking Chamber
Oh, and the management would like to remind you all that this sporking is in good fun and no bashing of religion is intended. Please leave the serious business at the door
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter One: The Bible
ZeldaQueen: What about it?
Draco swept into the small living room
ZeldaQueen: Making certain to get all of the popcorn bits under the sofa
that he shared with his life partner, in search of a stray text he needed for the few hours he would be spending at work that day.
ZeldaQueen: Author, you gonna explain this at all? Anything? Like why Harry - and yes, we know it's Harry - is Malfoy's lover? Or why Malfoy apparently has a boring-ass job when he seems to be filthy rich? Or why, for that matter, he's living in this place when he owns a manor?
He rustled around the couch, pulling up the cushions, pushing around stacks of papers and moving around all sorts of bits and pieces that lurked around. He sighed and stood up straight, stretching his hands into the air, then letting them fall, one falling behind his head to scratch at his back.
ZeldaQueen: Well that was certainly important!
Where the heck could the damn thing be? Maybe Harry had moved it?
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I know I left The Kama Sutra around here somewhere...
He spied the book case in the corner and approached it warily. Would it be in there?
ZeldaQueen: I don't know, a book? In a book case? Sounds like a stretch to me
He sighed and stepped up in front of
ZeldaQueen: - the train. He was getting out of this fic if it killed him
it. There was no other possible place it could be, so he started removing books upon books from the shelves in search of his much needed tome.
ZeldaQueen: I love how this book is apparently so important to him, yet we have no idea what it is or why he wants it. Way to make us care, author
He dumped them down on the floor as carefully as he could in his haste. Some of these books mhad never been opened, just sitting in place collecting dust. He paused as he picked up one to glance at the title.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "Why in the world do we have An Idiot's Guide to Canonrape? I didn't even know that was an actual title!"
"The Bible? What the. I didn't know we had one of those."
ZeldaQueen: Given Harry's reaction to it later, if Malfoy didn't get it, where the fuck did it come from? Is it one of those spontaneously appearing Bibles that keep showing up on the news or something?
He shrugged and placed it on the coffee table, as the floor was starting to fill up.
ZeldaQueen: The room's flooding?
He looked back to the shelves and suddenly exclaimed in triumph. There was that damned Magical Law text he needed!
ZeldaQueen: Sounds fascinating. Since when has Malfoy enjoyed reading about laws?
He grabbed it quickly and rushed out of the room, into the kitchen where Harry handed him some toast, along with a quick, chaste, kiss on the lips, and then he rushed to the front door, collecting his brief case and cloak on the way. He left in a bustle, toast hanging from his mouth, one arm through a sleeve and the other dangling. He'd be damned if he was late for this meeting!
ZeldaQueen: *stares*
*LAUGHS*
Oh my God, it's a homosexual Blondie and Dagwood! Please tell me that Malfoy knocked over the mailman on the way out the door!
Harry sighed in amusement as he watched Draco leave their apartment. Draco had woken a little late this morning, due to their mischievous behaviour the previous night, and then had to rush to get into the office on time.
ZeldaQueen: I thought it was Fred and George who got into the "mischievous behavior"
Why the blond still bothered to work Harry didn't know, Lord knows they have enough money to live comfortably to the end of their days ten times over.
ZeldaQueen: Ah, so the author did remember that Malfoy was filthy rich. Which begs the question of why is Malfoy still working? I doubt he would if he didn't have to
He glanced around the doorframe to the living room and noticed the mess his partner had made in his rush. He sighed again and walked into the room, intent on cleaning it up.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "Really now, I told him to wipe down that chair when he was done with the computer!"
As Harry replaced the numerous tomes back from the floor and onto the shelf, he pondered over the last few years of his life.
ZeldaQueen: It was all rather blurry, and he suspected that his character had been derailed again. At least he wasn't a nudist this time
It had been peaceful ever since he had defeated Voldemort, and he'd managed to fade into the background. He tried to stay out of the limelight as much as possible, as all the questions of reporters and the blatant stares of total strangers just brought back unwanted memories of what he'd had to face in the battle field against his mortal enemy.
ZeldaQueen: At least that bit of his character is right
He'd been with Draco since just a month and a half after the fateful date that decided he could live.
ZeldaQueen: I guess Ginny just took a flying leap then?
Although he was a living breathing being, his soul had nearly died along with Voldemort that day, and he barely recovered. The only thing that pulled him out of that deep depression had been Malfoy, taunting him to a point of total anger that he had lunged himself at the blond in a rage in the middle of the Ministry of Magic.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "This is your fault! If you weren't blond and sexy, I wouldn't constantly have fanfiction authors forcing me to snog you!"
He certainly had intentions of killing the bastard, but as soon as he registered the hate he felt, he realised he didn't hate Malfoy. And then he realised he was feeling, that he wasn't lost, and he was so shocked that he wasn't thinking straight, and he'd kissed Malfoy.
ZeldaQueen: ... Yes, because I often feel like kissing people after they spend seven years mercilessly mocking my best friends, family, and significant other
Harry smiled and shook his head in memory of that first awkward stage of "I like you, do you like me?"
ZeldaQueen: Just your average schoolyard romance here. The teasing, the kissing in the middle of the Ministry of Magic, all completely out of character, yep
They'd now been together for five and a half years, were living together in their own prestigious penthouse apartment building, and as far as Harry could tell, were very happy together and had no intentions of changing the arrangements for a very long time.
ZeldaQueen: At least until the author gets bored of this pairing
He wondered over to the coffee table and noticed a solid black book with gold embossed letters. The title read "The Bible."
ZeldaQueen: The title read its own book? That's impressive!
Harry had no idea what it was.
ZeldaQueen: OH, FOR THE LOVE OF JACK BEANS!!!
Seriously though, how could someone raised in the Muggle world for seventeen years have no idea at all what the Bible is? Was this thing written by Jack Chick?
He picked it up and flicked through it, and discovered there was a lot in it.
ZeldaQueen: That's kind of an understatement, yes.
And a lot of what? Words? Pages? Pictures of topless whores seducing people?
As there was nothing else to do that day except potter about in the house,
ZeldaQueen: OH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!!!
he sat down on the sofa and opened to the first page of text, beginning to read.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish..."
Genesis: 1:
ZeldaQueen: Get three eggs, a quart of milk, and half a cup of flour
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth.
ZeldaQueen: No explanation for it, the dude just got bored
Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
ZeldaQueen: Now that's just shoddy workmanship there! I can understand forgetting to put form in your earth, but leaving your Spirit of God hanging over the water? That's laziness, plain and simple!
And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light.
ZeldaQueen: (God) "Bam, who called it?"
God saw that the light was good,
ZeldaQueen: As opposed to bad light. Man, I hate that stuff!
and he separated the light from the darkness.
ZeldaQueen: You'd think God would get a secretary for menial tasks like that. Shouldn't he be doing more important stuff, like creating life or whatnot?
God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning – the first day.
ZeldaQueen: Well, I guess even God's got to start slow on ambitious projects
Harry paused. God...He'd only ever heard a little about this before, being so excluded from everything at his young age.
ZeldaQueen: BULL, I SAY!
The Dursleys had never cared for him or his education, it was no wonder he had no concept of religion.
ZeldaQueen: And no one at school talked about it at all? Dude, I was raised agnostic and I knew about God by the time I got out of elementary school!
He continued to read of the creation of earth,
ZeldaQueen: Which was kind of backwards, since usually people are trying to get that stuff off of their nice things
and then onto the story of Adam and Eve
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, that didn't end well
and even further to the fall of man
ZeldaQueen: You know, that never would have happened if God hadn't left man sitting on the edge of the kitchen counter like He did
which is followed by Noah and the Ark.
ZeldaQueen: Which would be a great name for a rock band!
From there it started to get confusing as there were so many names,
ZeldaQueen: Given the sheer volume of the cast of Harry Potter, I find the irony of that statement to be most delicious
telling of how the population grew from its small origins,
ZeldaQueen: Read - through massive incest
the story of Abraham.
ZeldaQueen: The guy who made polygmany cool. Sort of
He continued through the book of Genesis, coming to the book of Exodus.
ZeldaQueen: Damn, he reads fast. Or does he not have to wash the dishes today?
He read of the struggles in Egypt, and that of Moses. He finally came across something called the Ten Commandments.
ZeldaQueen: It involved a dude named Charleton Heston
Exodus: 20:
ZeldaQueen: "If you can read this, you do not need bifocles"
I am the Lord you God,
ZeldaQueen: Is that like, "I heart you God"?
who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery:
ZeldaQueen: - to wander in the desert for thirty years
You shall have no other gods before me.
ZeldaQueen: - so tell the followers of every other faith to suck it
You shall not make for yourself an idol.
ZeldaQueen: Unless you're American. In which case, it's totally cool, as long as you can actually sing or something.
You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
ZeldaQueen: And you shall also not be gramatically correct and put a comma between "the Lord" and "your God"
Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.
ZeldaQueen: Keep it holy, man!
Honour your father and your mother.
ZeldaQueen: And if no "u"s are to be found, it's fine to just "honor" them
You shall not murder.
ZeldaQueen: Which canon already emphasizes, so no idea why this one's an issue with you
You shall not commit adultery.
ZeldaQueen: Because Harry's such a manwhore, you know?
You shall not steal.
ZeldaQueen: What does the author think fanfiction technically is?
You shall not give false testimony against your neighbour.
ZeldaQueen: Now the folks down the street, they're a different story
You shall not covet your neighbour's house.
ZeldaQueen: Unless you're living in a cardboard box, in which case it's kind of understandable. Especially if your neighbor's a jackass and won't let you in, out of the rain
Harry gulped. "You shall not murder..." he repeated under his breath.
ZeldaQueen: Well, good thing he never murdered anyone!
He shut his eyes tightly, trying to forget the images of him shooting a stream of green light, hitting Voldemort square in the chest, the supposedly all powerful wizard crumpling to the ground, stone cold dead.
ZeldaQueen: And there was much rejoicing
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't block out those images. Was he condemned to hell because of what he'd had to do to survive in this life? Would he have been better to die?
ZeldaQueen: Um, that's not murder. Murder is the intentional killing of another. Harry only tried to disarm Voldemort. Voldemort was the one who threw the killing curse and was hit by the very same spell
"You shall not make for yourself an idol... Haven't I also done this? The-Boy-Who-Lived...That is a false idol, and yet it is me."
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, it's not like Harry hated being known as The-Boy-Who-Lived and thought, at best, that it was stupid
He let the book fall. Discovering religion this late in life was such a hard thing for anyone, let alone one who'd been all but forced into committing sin of the worst kind. He buried his head in his hands. What was he to do?
ZeldaQueen: Contact your local PPC agents for a quick exorcism. You'll be back to your canon self in no time!
Around midday that very same day, Sunday for that matter,
ZeldaQueen: OH, I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!
Draco came home from work to take Harry for lunch.
"Harry? Hun, I was thinking we could go out for lunch today?"
ZeldaQueen: Paging the Department of Redundancy Department
Not getting a reply, Draco ventured to their bedroom to see if Harry was sleeping, but the bed was crisply made, no sign of him there.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because the first place gay people always go is the bedroom. HA HA!
He wondered back to the kitchen, wondering if he had some form of muggle music player in his ears again, that silly new device Harry insisted was called an Eye-Pod. I-Pog. Whatever.
ZeldaQueen: *beats author* NO! MODERN! TECHNOLOGICAL! DEVICES!
But there was no sign of him in the kitchen either. He moved on into the living room, and found his objective.
ZeldaQueen: Your mission, should you choose to accept it, will be to murder this Harry doppleganger and restore canon
"Hey Harry...Harry? What's the matter?" Draco was met with a strange sight of Harry sitting on the floor of the room, in front of their coffee table, with a multitude of fluoro coloured sticky notes around him, his attention on a black tome, which was covered in the same sticky notes.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "It just...isn't pretty"
As Draco spoke his name though, Harry's head snapped up and his eyes met with Draco's. "Hun? What's the matter? What are you doing?"
ZeldaQueen: Hearing Malfoy call anyone "hun" makes me die a little, inside
"Why didn't you ever tell me about any of this? Or the consequences of our whole life? It's wrong." Harry replied in a dead voice.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I'm sorry, maybe it's because I never was interested in such frivolous and silly Muggle superstitions" *curses Harry to oblivion*
"What do you mean?" Draco asked, confused.
ZeldaQueen: Gee Malfoy, he's got a Bible in front of him and is talking about their lifestyle being "wrong". What do you think is going on?
"Us! We're a sin!
ZeldaQueen: No, you're literary characters. Extraordinarily out of character and weird ones, at that
Not to mention all the other foul things I've done that will condemn me!"
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "I allowed another fanfiction writer to have her way with me! I can't believe it!"
"Harry, what are you going on about?" Draco asked, approaching the seated man. He sat down next to him and attempted to wrap his arms around the man he loved, only to be pushed violently away.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) *having woken up* "Alright, where's Ginny and why are we living together?"
"Don't you dare touch me!" Harry exclaimed, jumping to his feet and rushing to the other side of the room.
ZeldaQueen: Playing hard to get, Harry?
"Harry –" Draco protested, his voice hurt.
ZeldaQueen: Eh, just put a bandage on it and it'll be fine
"Leviticus 18:22
ZeldaQueen: Actually, it's Eastern Standard, 12:04
Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman, that is detestable!
ZeldaQueen: Yeah! Don't you know you have to tell men entirely different lies than for women? Not many men care if their butt looks fat, after all!
Detestable Draco! We're disgusting! It's a fucking sin what we do every night!"
"Harry please, what's gotten into you?" Draco exclaimed, totally confused as to what was happening.
ZeldaQueen: (Malfoy) "I mean really, it's not like we are lying down when I'm sucking your dick!"
"The Bible has, that's what! You left it on the coffee table this morning when you went through all the books.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, gotta say, stupid move there, Malfoy
I've never seen one before, Draco, so I sat down and read it.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "I didn't want to, but the author held a gun to my head"
I've read most of it. I'm a living, walking sin!
ZeldaQueen: I wonder how much a circus would pay for one of those?
I've committed murder, I'm a false idol, people worship me as a god, I've lied, I've slept with men as one would with a woman – multiple times! – and most of all, I'm a fucking wizard!"
ZeldaQueen: Aw, don't be sad, Harry! Just make it back to canon and none of this will trouble you anymore
AN: This started as a One-Shot, but it's turned into heaps more.
ZeldaQueen: Um, it still is a one-shot, thus far. And who uses the word "heaps"?
I couldn't just not upload what I have though, so here you go.
ZeldaQueen: Yes you could have. Just don't click the "upload" button
Let me know what you think in a review!
ZeldaQueen: See my above comments
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ZeldaQueen: So yeah, Happy Halloween to everyone, and be sure to eat lots of candy! And even if you don't celebrate Halloween, eat lots of candy anyway.
On a different note, the sporkings for the upcoming months might be a bit few and far between. This is because I am going to be participating in NaNoWriMo, and I have a feeling that it's going to be all I can do to make it to fifty thousand words in that month. And on the subject of NaNoWriMo, if anyone is at all interested, I will be posting my story as I go along. You can read it at
zq_nanowrimo, should you be so inclined. I'm hoping that by forcing myself to post it, I can hold myself to the deadlines. Or something. I don't know. In any case, feel free to take a gander Return to the Sporking Chamber
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 04:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 03:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 05:34 am (UTC)*Note: I, too, have nothing against organized religion, even though I am an athiest. I just get pissy about people getting their panties in a knot over a book for no good reason. And getting preached at by suthors.*
Good luck at NaNoWriMo! I'm not participating because I am continuing on my novel that I have been working on for a year and a half, and it's already 60,000 words in and doesn't qualify. Maybe next year.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 02:18 pm (UTC)Thanks! Oh wow, what's your novel about?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 05:57 pm (UTC)Well, in the nitty gritty, it's a fantasy novel were dragons/half dragons are in the protagonist role. I have the first three chapters up on my LJ, if you want to check it out. (Just, don't spork me. LOL.) And no, it's not a paranormal fantasy that has been popular lately.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 07:44 pm (UTC)And don't worry, I won't spork it. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 10:49 pm (UTC)I've always had a bit of trouble summarizing it properly. Doesn't help that I'm not finished...but...yeah, I admit I'm not that good at summarizing my story, ironically XD.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-01 04:02 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 11:25 am (UTC)Good luck with NaNoWriMo, and thanks for linking/reccing my sporking!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 02:15 pm (UTC)Thanks, and you're welcome! ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 03:12 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 03:59 pm (UTC)Oh, and she ships Harry/Snape and has one Harry/Voldemort story. I don't even...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 04:15 pm (UTC)That's just kind of ridiculous. I mean seriously, what happens? Voldy, who DOESN'T UNDERSTAND LOVE, randomly falls in love with the guy he's been trying to kill for years, and Harry is totally cool with it? And the whole "one cannot live while the other survives" thing just goes away?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 05:26 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 06:17 pm (UTC)Gah. Every time I think fanfiction can't get more insane, it does.
Harry and the Bible, Part 1
Date: 2010-10-31 12:21 pm (UTC)Here is the biggest flaw in the story. It's not that Harry grew up knowing virtually nothing about God; I did too. (Which shocked the nuns at the private school I got sent to at twelve, because I was under the impression that that there were three gods. I still think it makes more sense than the Three Persons in One God thing, but whatever.)
No, the problem isn't that Harry's ignorant of God and the Bible. The problem is that Harry picks up the Bible--which he's never seen before and knows nothing about, and which has heretofore had no impact on his life at all--and instantly believes every word it says.
This, more than anything, illustrates that the author is a devout evangelical Christian. Because devout evangelicals tend to believe that anyone who has never been exposed to the Bible cannot help but see how true and right it is.
Speaking for myself, this was not the case. When I first read the Bible at twelve--yep, it was for class--my first reaction was that Genesis sounded a lot like the creation myths of other cultures. It was no more credible to me than, say, the Epic of Gilgamesh. The Bible was simply a book of stories. (I'm still amazed that some actual history slipped in.)
And that's the way that Harry should deal with the Bible--as being, in his view, just a work of fiction (after all, there's no reason he'd assume that it was nonfiction)...and not a particularly interesting book, as it doesn't deal with Quidditch or how to attract girls. Instead, it's about a character he's not familiar with. And the Old Testament God isn't anyone you'd WANT hanging about, as he is perpetually angry.
Not only that, but Harry wouldn't have any concept of what sin was. He'd know that it was something wrong--at least in the POV of the authors of the Bible--but without any emotional context of offending an immensely powerful noncorporeal entity with one's wrongdoing, I don't think he'd care that according to this book, he'd committed sins. Why would he care what the book's authors thought? So WHAT?
Also, there are at least three examples in the Bible where the Old Testament God clearly approves of magic as long as his people are the ones doing it. There's (Exodus 4:2-6, where God has Moses turning a brass rod into a serpent, alternately cursing and uncursing himself with leprosy, and pouring water on the ground and turning it to blood. Numbers 5:21-27 features sympathetic magic in which a priest recites a curse over a woman accused of adultery by a jealous husband and then makes her drink "bitter water"; if the woman is guilty, the magic potion will "make her belly swell and her thigh rot." If the woman is innocent, she'll conceive the next time she and her husband have sex. And in Numbers 21:8-9, God tells Moses to make the image of a brass serpent (nice way to contradict the "graven images" doctrine!) and hang it on a pole. Anyone who has been bitten by a snake and who looks at the brass serpent? WHAM! instant healing!
So according to the Bible, the Old Testament God--who was only a tribal god at this point, not the god of one of the major faiths in the region--did NOT object to magic. What he objected to was magic done by followers of other gods and other forces...because those gods and those forces (such as astrology, divination and the familiar spirits/demigods/demons of numerous enchanters) were competition.
Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 12:22 pm (UTC)Okay. Say that Harry doesn't get that. Fine. But what about God's creation on the fourth day--the sun, the moon and the stars--when he created light on the first day and had trees blossoming and bringing forth fruit on the third day? Harry has studied Herbology, after all. He knows how plants work!
So Harry should be aware that what he is reading does not completely fit the facts of the world as he knows them. He should be arguing with Deuteronomy over equating a worker of charms like Professor Flitwick with evil wizards and necromancers like Voldemort. He should be thinking that "Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" sounds like a Muggle terrified of magic.
He should be seeing much, if not all, of the Bible as opinion...and decidedly ill-informed opinion at that.
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 02:13 pm (UTC)The weird thing about the suethor is that she/he (I think it's a she) is a die hard Draco/Harry shipper and has written a ton of other fics about them as a couple. So, either she just randomly sat down and decided to have Harry turn fundamentalist for no reason in one of them or she's as big a hypocrite as Allecto (who hates homosexuality but used to write slash).
But yeah, this is pretty much the standard easy conversion for fics. It's like making Ron evil - it is so totally against canon that the suethors are forced to radically twist things into a shape to suit them.
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 02:27 pm (UTC)What's interesting is that she says that "This is my take on how Harry and the Wizarding World view religion." Which makes no sense. Wizards don't BOTHER with religion in the books as a rule. They're married by wizards, not priests, ministers or rabbis; being a godfather seems to be more of a social obligation than a religious one; and the Fat Friar, Hufflepuff's ghost, clearly didn't see any conflict between being a monk and being a wizard. Basically, she's manufacturing a conflict that wizards in the books never seem to experience.
I could see this if she was writing about someone whose father was a minister or whose Muggle family was deeply devout. The conflict then could reasonably exist. But HARRY? Does not compute.
And good luck with NaNoWriMo. I wish I could sign up but I'm 32K into a novel at this point and I'm NOT tossing all that work aside.
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 04:03 pm (UTC)Not only that, but the students get Easter and Christmas off, both of which are Christian holidays. Now granted, they don't always have religions connotations for everyone who celebrates them, but the fact remains that Hogwarts does recognize them to give the time off. They don't even call them "Spring break" and "Winter break" like my school did!
Thanks! And good luck with your novel. What kind of story is it?
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 04:50 pm (UTC)I can see wizards deciding--some time around the seventeenth or eighteenth century--that it was just easier to use the terms that Muggle schools used, probably because it reassured the parents of Muggleborns. In an era where witches, or at least people accused of being witches, were still being arrested, tortured and killed
for their supposed links to Hell, the notion that a magical school would send your children home to celebrate religious holidays with their families would have been very reassuring to parents.
And we also know that some wizards celebrate Christmas--the feasting and the exchange of presents, anyway. (I say "some" because I doubt if Harry's year-mates Anthony Goldstein and the Patil twins would bother with it.) Even Ron--the pureblood who isn't very knowledgeable about the Muggle world--enjoys Christmas and gives presents.
Finally, the Bible is not unknown in the Wizarding World...because two graves in an all-wizarding cemetery in Godric's Hollow bear quotations from the Bible.
Harry stooped down and saw, upon the frozen, lichen-spotted granite, the words Kendra Dumbledore and, a short way down her dates of birth and death, and her daughter Ariana.
There was also a quotation:
Where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
This particular quote is from Luke 12:32-12:34:
12:32 Fear not, little flock; for it is your Father's good pleasure to give you the kingdom.
12:33 Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth.
12:34 For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
So basically, it's about selling all you have and giving it to the poor so that God will reward you in Heaven, because what you value shows what you love, and it's very important that you love God more than material things.
In the meantime, however, you've just become one of the poor, and you'd better hope that someone else will sell all he has and give it to you.
This strikes me as being one of the less practical pieces of advice in the Bible.
JAMES POTTER, BORN 27 MARCH 1960, DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981
LILY POTTER, BORN 30 JANUARY 1960, DIED 31 OCTOBER 1981
Making James an Aries and Lily an Aquarius, not that this is of any significance in the series.
And then another quote from the Bible:
The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
This is from a passage in 1 Corinthians 15:24-15:28, about the Second Coming of Christ:
15:24 Then cometh the end, when [Christ] shall have delivered up the kingdom to God, even the Father; when he shall have put down all rule and all authority and power.
15:25 For he must reign, till he hath put all enemies under his feet.
15:26 The last enemy that shall be destroyed is death.
15:27 For he hath put all things under his feet. But when he saith all things are put under him, it is manifest that he is excepted, which did put all things under him.
15:28 And when all things shall be subdued unto him, then shall the Son also himself be subject unto him that put all things under him, that God may be all in all.
So wizards don't bother much about religion, no. But the links are there.
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2010-10-31 05:23 pm (UTC)Still, you're right. The fact that it is there shows that wizards are aware of religion and certainly have some connections to it. So in cases like that stupid fic, it's people creating problems that aren't there to begin with.
Re: Harry and the Bible, Part 2
Date: 2011-11-11 09:42 am (UTC)I was also raised in a very secular household, and did not even know Christianity existed until I was sent to a Catholic school at the age of ten. I remember how baffled my classmates were that I had no idea who Jesus was.
I read the Bible around the same age as you, and you're right. I completely regarded it as a work of fiction, and reading it never convinced me to convert to Christianity.
I find it unbelievable that Harry spent five and a half years in a loving, fulfilling relationship which he was completely happy in and utterly satisfied with, and ONE book comes along and condemns his lifestyle and...he immediately believes it.
People don't work like that.
If anything, he should have been condemning the book, because he's going to trust his own experience over the words of a writer he knew nothing about.
The conflicting scientific facts aren't that important, because this books is outright dismissing his LOVE for another person. This book is condemning his most treasured person, and the very emotion that allowed him to defeat the Dark Lord.
There is just no way he'll believe it like that.
Fail, Suethor, fail.
PS: I've got nothing against religion. I respect people's beliefs and all. It's just that the way it's presented here is a bit...idiotic. That's all...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 01:02 pm (UTC)I just want to say "word" to gehayi's posts above, because that's exactly what I wanted to say, just better in every way.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 02:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 04:47 pm (UTC)(* Which I think was still collective Christian worship back then, rather than today's "broadly Christian character", but don't quote me on that. It certainly seemed to be when I was at primary school a few years after Harry.)
Good luck with NaNoWriMo! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 05:25 pm (UTC)Thanks! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-10-31 09:24 pm (UTC)I think you're right; this basically is the Jack Chick version of Harry Potter. Although I don't know why Harry and Draco had to be gay and in a relationship for the author to make her nonsensical point. Wouldn't it have been more believable if she had chosen Albus Dumbledore and Gellert Grindelwald instead?
I really liked your snark on the biblical verses, though. Although, as a minor correction, I think that the Hebrews wandered the desert for forty years, not thirty.
By the way, Happy Halloween! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-01 03:57 am (UTC)Thanks. XD Yeah, it's forty years. My bad. ^^; Thanks!
Happy Halloween! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-02 08:40 pm (UTC)Speaking as one of the above, I consider fics like this a colossal waste of time and an extremely poor witness. It's the wrong method entirely. Nobody is impressed with a contrived conversion of a fictional character. Nobody's mind is changed by it. God is not represented, and He's supposed to be the point.
What it truly is, is someone indulging in a self-satisfying fantasy about conquering a popular icon. It's not far removed from the gold-digger. This is a blatant self-insert, no better than Holly Potter's Wicca or Neil's pandemic nudism.
I myself am writing stories about people becoming Christians. (I am also a living story about someone becoming a Christian.) There's nothing wrong with that. What's wrong is when you do something like THIS piece of idiocy.
So speaketh the fundie.
I'm going to close, by the way, with suggesting to Gehayi that prescribed rituals are not the same thing as "magic". Yes, I know the difference; I did magic for 15 years. No, I'm not trying to bait you into a discussion about it; I'm just sayin'.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-11-02 11:43 pm (UTC)And it shows, in how clumsily all of those cases are handled. The suethors of those works can't pretend that it's just a thought experiment, like "Oh, what if Harry took up Christianity?" or "What if Harry was a nudist?", because of how massively out of character everyone is. If they must be so warped for the concepts to work, then the concepts simply don't work at all.
I have no problem with concepts being used in fanfiction. As was pointed out, there are plenty of ways to introduce a religion debate into HP fanfiction tastefully and in a way that works. In fact, it's a very interesting topic to consider. But cases like this are just painful. To quote TV Tropes, "just because some anvils have to be dropped doesn't mean they should be dropped at any time and place".
(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-10 08:55 pm (UTC)Nevertheless, it would be interesting to see how they treated religion in the HP universe. Harry did have a godfather, after all, and they celebrate Christmas, so they must have at least a primal concept of it.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-10 09:21 pm (UTC)Anyway, congratulations on the sporking, it was exceptionally well done. This site always cheers me up. ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-12 06:17 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-12 06:16 am (UTC)Well, Rowling herself was Christian, hence the heavy parallels in Deathly Hallows. I kind of got the feeling that the students just went home and did their thing, while the school celebrations themselves avoided actual religious content (which would make sense, given that a school with such a large student body would have a lot of different practiced beliefs, so it wouldn't be fair to focus just on any one).
Modern Magic vs. Magic as seen in Scripture
Date: 2011-08-16 08:30 pm (UTC)This is something that bugs me to no end. I myself ans also a Christian and a lover of fantasy.
It really pisses me off that no big name person in the Christian community seems to have caught on to the fact that when you say the word "Magic" today 80% of people are going think of something out of LOTR/HP/D&D. That would not NOT be "Magic" to the Apostles or the prophets.
As [info]gehayi pointed out magic was tied to religion in Biblical times. However, at some point in the (not so distant) past that idea fell almost completely out of the culture. I really don't know when it happened (if anyone knows I would love to find out) but "Magic Power" and "Divine Power" are now almost completely unrelated to most people as very few remember that they were ever one concept to begin with.
Also it really bothers me that Christians forget that the Bible is completely tied to the Real World. True Magic in any way, shape or form is totally impossible and if you make a fictional world where it IS real than by nature the version of the Bible that exists there would have to be differant too. That is unless you are trying to make Christians idiots on purpose, not that I'm bitter about our image in pop culture or anything *whistles*.
And don't go trying to sell your soul to the devil to get magic for real. It won't work since Faustian Bargains are Biblical Fanon as well.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-09 09:03 pm (UTC)"let alone one who'd been all but forced into committing sin of the worst kind."
*sigh* Queer is the worst sin in the world now? (yes I know what the Suethor means, but the way some people go on about gays...*sigh*)
"Although he was a living breathing being, his soul had nearly died along with Voldemort that day, and he barely recovered. The only thing that pulled him out of that deep depression had been Malfoy, taunting him to a point of total anger that he had lunged himself at the blond in a rage in the middle of the Ministry of Magic. He certainly had intentions of killing the bastard, but as soon as he registered the hate he felt, he realised he didn't hate Malfoy. And then he realised he was feeling, that he wasn't lost, and he was so shocked that he wasn't thinking straight, and he'd kissed Malfoy."
1. Harry would NOT have intention of killing Malfoy. The point of Harry is that he is not a killer and even spared Pettigrew FFS!
2. This sounds like an awful PWP set up. I just imagine "Coitus ensues" after this bit for some reason.
3. If Malfoy is the only thing keeping Harry sane, then won't he just get sick again when they split up? That's a great moral right there.
"I'm a false idol, people worship me as a god"
Assuming this is true, how did Harry ask for this stuff exactly? I'm pretty sure canon!Harry didn't enjoy being idolised or treated as the chosen one; if others treat him that way it's hardly HIS fault.
"if Malfoy didn't get it, where the fuck did it come from?"
It was a Gideon. You ever met one? No. Ever seen one? No. But they're all over the fucking world, putting bibles in queer wizards' penthouses.[/billhicks]
Talking of that penthouse, how come they have a small living room in the first line and Malfoy is stinking rich later on?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-09 09:04 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-10 05:19 am (UTC)Another One? Really?
Date: 2012-01-29 05:26 am (UTC)