New Moon: Chapter 3 - The End (Part 3)
Aug. 31st, 2010 12:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenProjection Room Voices: What's this then?
ZeldaQueen: I'm taking this chapter assignment for das_mervin
Projection Room Voices: Very well then. Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 3
ZeldaQueen: Right, when Madame Mervin last left off, Jasper nearly ate Bella, but she was saved by Edward, much to our disappointment. Edward starts to act weird and Bella starts arming herself with enough dead herrings to singlehandedly reenact Monty Python's Fish Dance skit.
So the two meet out in the woods and Edward's acting weird, OH WHATEVER COULD THIS MEAN? He is standing there with his usual "unreadable" expression, and is it just me, or does Meyer use that a lot to describe him? Is he supposed to be like Doctor Manhattan in that regard or something? Nah, that would be interesting. Anyway, Bella agrees to a talk, about bloody time. Seriously, Weasley and Buttercup had infinitely better communication regarding their relationship than Bella and Edward! Sweeping romance for the ages, my ass.
Anyway, Edward tells her that they're leaving, and Bella goes to her "he means 'me and him' by 'we'" track, of course showing no concern at all that she's abandoning her parents or friends. Seriously. She just takes a deep breath and says that she's prepared. After coming to grips with the idea that she and Edward would be running off oh what, a day ago? A few days? I don't want to start screaming this early into the review, so I'll just ask all the dear viewers to look to the Darren Shane Saga, first book, for a far better representation of a person suddenly believing that they're going to have to abandon their homes and families.
Also, Bella still doesn't get the idea that Edward isn't including her in that "we", mostly because she's a dumbass in denial. This is kind of sad, really. I mean, even if we didn't already know what's going to happen, it's still blindingly obvious. Does she think Edward's being all emotionless because he feels bad he's taking her away? If he was, he'd freaking be jumping for joy. He'd love to have her all to himself, the selfish bastard. Anyway, she asks why they can't wait another year to run off together and he starts that bull about how Carlisle is claiming that he's thirty three and can hardly pass for thirty. That's...rather weak, really. There are a ton of people who look younger than they are, and looking three years younger than one is isn't that big a deal. Doubly so, given how super-rich the Cullens are, which would mean that most people would probably chalk Carlisle's youthful appearance down to plastic surgery or at least really good makeup. Of course, this is supposed to be his dumb excuse as for why he's to dump her, and of course she's to blindingly idiotic to point out the various holes in that excuse. Instead, she figures out for the first time that he's not including her in that 'we'.
She starts to go all cold and numb, and this is getting really sad. She starts insisting that she'll come along, and I have to agree with Spoony - aside from being sad and pathetic, this is also pretty freaking selfish. She's basically demanding that Edward take her along, essentially just whisking her away. No fake funeral, not explaining to her parents where she's going. And if people just disappear, they are searched for. In other words, she's apparently fine with forcing her precious Cullens into a period of time in hiding so they won't be arrested for kidnapping, not to mention either forcing them to live with her delicious scent under her nose (which caused this all to begin with) or turning her into a vampre (which Edward has insisted that he does not want to happen to her). That's not even going into the idea that she isn't batting an eye over abandoning her parents or friends. We've ranted about that in many other places.
Edward starts going on first about how the place they're going is "not the right place for [her]" and then that he's "no good" for her. And where the hell did this come from, might I ask? Wasn't a good part of the first book him going on to her about how much he loved her, so much so that he couldn't listen to common sense and avoid her for her own safety? And he's pulling the "I'm dangerous" card now?
Bella, of course, continues to be utterly wretched and stupid and fails to call him out on that either. Instead, she starts going on about how the incident with Jasper was "nothing". And now I'm going to have to agree with the Twilight Snarker. Seriously, how insensitive is Bella? Is she really unable to understand how people feel horribly upset and guilty when they nearly kill someone? And yes, I know that Edward wasn't the one who attacked, but Meyer is still playing the "Edward blames himself" card, so what we're getting is Edward trying to explain to Bella that he wants to put her life before his happiness (just...go with it) and she's incapable of understanding why he's so upset. She starts going on about how he's a part of her life, and all I'm getting now are flashbacks to The Room. "But why Edward, why? Please, talk to me! You are my life, I can't life without you! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, EDWARD!" Oh, and she actually admits that while she's trying to sound angry, it actually comes across as begging. How charming. She's getting upset and hysterical and begging him to stay while he's just standing there, cold and emotionless. This doesn't paint a very nice picture, Meyer.
Anyway, when none of this gets Edward to change his mind, Bella reminds him of her promise while they were in Phoenix in the last book, specifically that he'd never leave her. He says that he only promised to be with her "[a]s long as that was best for [her]".
*stares* First of all, what the hell gives him the right to decide what's best for her? What, is he her fucking father? Daddy knows best? Doesn't she get a say at all? Christ!
Second of all... *pulls out copy of Twilight*
"'Don't leave me,' I begged in a broken voice.
'I won't,' he promised... 'Bella...I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me'"
ZeldaQueen: Edward Cullen, you are a fucking liar. You said absolutely nothing about staying as long as it was best for Bella. You said you'd be there as long as she needed you. Big difference, asshole. And Bella's no better, because she is so busy freaking out that she doesn't think to call him out on it, or even get angry over how he's being a patronizing dick. Instead, she starts screaming about how this must be that silly obsession Edward has with protecting her soul from Hell. *rolls eyes*. She goes on to say "Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you — it’s yours already!"
... Wow. That's a whole new low of pathetic.
Anyway, Edward finally just says he doesn't want her to come along. And even though she is able to note that his words are "slow" and "precise" and even though he's apparently emotionless, she decides that he totally means what he says and that he doesn't want her anymore.
I'd...um, I'd just like to ask something - Bella's supposed to be really literate, isn't she? She's supposed to be familiar with a lot of classic works, romances in particular, right? SO HOW IN THE HOLY HELL DOES SHE NOT REALIZE THAT EDWARD IS LYING??? I mean, dear God! This is one of the oldest tricks in the book, the "I hate you, go away" routine! It can't get anymore cliched! And she's actually falling for it. GOD!
Oh, and she doesn't even question the fact that he gave her several fake excuses before this. Even if she thinks he was lying to try to spare her feelings, wouldn't that contradict the fact that they have such an epic and wonderful romance? I mean, isn't honesty a huge part of a good relationship? Heck, Meyer could have tried to pitch it by having Bella seeing a glimpse of Edward's true emotions, that he really did love her and genuinely believed that leaving her would make things better for her. And perhaps Bella would see how much Edward was sacrificing to make her happy and thus decides to live her life as best she can in honor of that, maybe nursing the faint hope that he'll return, but trying to go on anyway. No. Instead, we're supposed to believe that Edward is being so believably coldhearted and hates her all of a sudden and Bella is just a moron who believes it.
Seriously, I can't get over this. He spent all of the last book and the beginning of this one going on about how he loves her, how he can't be without her, how eternity is meaningless without her. And he suddenly says "Nope, sorry, don't want you anymore" and she's not the least bit suspicious? Even if she thinks he does mean it, shouldn't she then jump to the conclusion that all of those sweet nothings before were just lies and thus he's a lying bastard who she's better off without? I'm seriously getting flashbacks to My Inner Life, and that is not a good thing.
Oh, for the love of - we just get more of Bella going on about how she's numb and horrified and can't believe this. I can't either, for entirely different reasons. Edward explains to her that he'll "always love [her]… in a way". Great, just say "we're better off as friends" and get it over with. He says that he's "tired of pretending to be something [he's] not...not human". *scowls* Oh, since when did you ever pretend to be human? All you've done since day one is go on about how boring and dull and shallow humans are, just like every other "protagonist" in this goddammed series.
Anyway, Bella keeps going numb and apparently can't feel anything "below the neck". She must be SOL, since there ain't anything going on above the neck either. *rim shot* Edward asks one last favor of her. As he asks this, she mentions seeing something flicker across his face, but can't tell what it is. Oh my God, is she a dumbass! Anyway, Edward asks her not to do anything "reckless or stupid" and, considering that he disapproves of most of the stuff she does, that leaves me wondering how she's going to fill her days. Edward immediately says that this favor is for Charlie's sake, and I'm rolling my eyes again because yeah, Edward's just been the paragon of sensitivity and concern when it comes to Bella's father.
Bella agrees to this and notices Edward visibly relaxing and she still doesn't get it. He says to her "Don’t worry. You’re human — your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind" ... Well that isn't patronizing or insulting in the slightest! Why don't you just come right out and say "You humans are shallow idiots who just can't compare"? God! And of course, Bella completely missing how rude that is, because she has the brains of a rock, or perhaps an OJ Simpson juror. Instead, she asks if he'll remember her. He says that he will - of course he will, since he's an almighty vampire who's ultimately superior - but that vampires are "very easily distracted". Doing what exactly? From all I've seen, they just run around eating people. And all I've seen Edward do is wander around, playing the piano and be morose.
Yet again, this all misses Bella. All she notices is when Edward says that "we" will never bother her again. She instantly realizes that this means that the rest of the family is gone. *scratches head* Didn't she come to that conclusion already? She asks if this means that Alice will never come back, and Edward tells her yeah, that's how it goes. Oh goody, if I never see that twerp again, it'll be too soon. Apparently the family has already up and left and, while Alice wanted to say goodbye to Bella, Edward pretty much forced her to just leave, on the grounds that a "clean break" would be better for Bella. *blinks* Okay, first of all, why in the seven levels of Hell would Alice be bullied into doing anything by Edward? Meyer spends all of the series trying to pitch her as this tough, cool chick who does what she wants, but she's always cowed by Edward when it comes to dealing with Bella, who is supposed to be Alice's best friend. Second of all, yet again, what gives Edward the right to decide what's "better" for Bella? How does he know that Bella wouldn't rather get a chance to say goodbye to Alice? It's unfair to both of them! *grumbles*
For some reason, Bella flashes back to when she was in the hospital in Phoenix, where she was shown an x-ray of one of her many injuries and was apparently told that it was a clean break, and thus would heal more easily and quickly. Erm...I guess this is supposed to be symbolic? Anyway, Bella goes on about how she's numb, dead, in a nightmare, yadda, yadda, yadda. She calls to Edward to wait and he pins her wrists to her sides and kisses her on the forehead. That's not creepy at all. She closes her eyes, he tells her to take care of herself, and then she opens her eyes and he's gone.
Bella, at this point, has completely flipped her shit and goes chasing after him into the forest. Even though he has left no footprints or trail, she goes running off like a dumbass. And I feel I'd be horribly denying you all if I left out her explanation, so here it is.
"I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.
Love, life, meaning… over"
ZeldaQueen: . . .
I'm...erm, I'm torn between laughing hysterically at how cheesy that line is, crying because she's so damned pathetic, and disgusted because this is the greatest literary heroine of the time period, who is billed as a role model for girls? Seriously?
So Bella spends hours searching the forest and of course doesn't find Edward and finally, when it's dark, she trips and falls over and just curls up on the ground in a miserable little ball of wangst. She starts going all emo and poetic about how there's no moonlight, and perhaps "there was no moon tonight — a lunar eclipse, a new moon". *cheerfully* Okay folks, dictionary time!
We good?
Moving on, Bella is lying there like a slug, as it is her only defense, and mentions that she is shivering, even though she isn't cold. I guess the revelation that there's no moonlight is just too much for her. After awhile, she hears people calling her name, but of course is too useless - excuse me, "dazed" - to answer. Hey, she's in the depth of despair. Did you really think she'd be bothered by stupid details, like the fact that her father would be insane with worry over her?
It starts to rain and this gets Bella cold enough to cover her head with her arms. She hears more calling and starts to consider calling back. She decides that they're too far away to bother. What a noble heroine. Truely, this rates right up there with Rose swearing to Jack she'll never let go and finding a way to save herself in freezing water. Suddenly, she hears a snuffling noise, like an animal is somewhere nearby. She wonders if she should be afraid, but decides that she's too numb to. What a wonderful role model! Her Man leaves her and she just falls to the ground and lets herself potentially be eaten by an animal! Eh, it doesn't matter. The noises go away and suddenly there is a light. Oh shit, has Bella finally died? Will we be spared her endless whining?
No, it's just an unknown man (who else to save her?), showing up in the nick of time. He explains that he's Sam Uley and asks "[h]ave you been hurt?" She narrates in response that she can't understand the meaning of that simple sentence and "I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point?"
*sourly* She's ready for her close-up, Mr. Demille.
Anyway, Sam says that he was sent by Charlie to find her and Bella starts to do something that resembles perking up, because "Charlie mattered, if nothing else did".
. . .
Excuse me for a minute, folks.
OH, IS THAT SO? BULL, I SAY! YOU WERE PERFECTLY FINE WITH JUST ABANDONING HIM WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT WHEN YOU BELIEVED THAT YOUR PRECIOUS EDWARD WAS GOING TO RUN AWAY WITH YOU TO HAWAII! YOU DIDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT HOW HE WOULD FEEL IF YOU DROPPED DEAD OF EXPOSURE IN THE WOODS! YOU HAVE NOT SPARED A SINGLE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR FATHER ONCE, AND I AM NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THAT YOU SUDDENLY CARE ABOUT HIM NOW!!!!! AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? HMM? ISN'T SHE SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND? HAVE YOU THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT HOW HURT OR SAD OR UPSET SHE WOULD BE IF YOU JUST DISAPPEARED OR DIED WITHOUT A SINGLE EXPLANATION? I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE, YOU IDIOT! THEN WE COULD ALL BE SPARED YOUR ENDLESS SELFISH IDIOCY!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that. Moving on, Sam offers Bella his hand, but she's too busy angsting to figure out to take it. He apparently just shrugs at this and picks her up in his arms in a "quick and supple notion". Um, either Meyer's abusing the thesaurus again, or she has a typo. Either one seems likely. In any case, he carries her off like a rag doll, and she acknowledges that she ought to be bothered that she's being carried off by a stranger, but is still too numb to care. Again, what a great role model!
So Bella is brought home and apparently she has been muttering "[h]e's gone" over and over, and is so nutso that she hasn't noticed. She's deposited into Charlie's arms, and there's a fairly sweet scene in which he carries her home, while trying to comfort her. It's kind of ruined though, because Bella is just so spineless and pathetic. Seriously, if she were having this reaction over something justified? Fantastic. But she's going catatonic over a break-up with a guy she's been with for what, a year?
Note from das_mervin - apparently she's been with Edward for six months. That just proves my point more
When they get home, Charlie hands Bella off to a fellow named Dr. Gerandy. Bella treats him like she's known him all her life and we get no explanation, so either he was introduced earlier, or Meyer just pulled him out of thin air. He asks Bella what happened in the woods and we get some vague descriptions over the people in the house who had been searching for her. These include Sam, several other men from the La Push reservation, Mike, Mike's dad, and Angela's dad. I know this is probably nitpicking, but I notice that it's not specified that any girls were in this search party. What, are women unable to find missing persons? I guess I can't be too hard on that bit. After all, it's disgustingly added that "[h]alf the town" was looking for Bella. I'm just going to tell myself it's because Charlie was so worried that he got them all helping out, because otherwise? This just reminds me too much of the bit in the first book when most of the school shows up just to see if Bella's alright in the hospital.
Bella lies and tells the doctor that she just got lost in the woods and starts to fall asleep. She vaguely describes hearing the doctor explaining about Carlisle's very quick disappearance, which apparently involved some story about him receiving a very important job offer elsewhere. I'd imagine that an important doctor wouldn't be able to just pack up and go like that, but whatever. I don't care.
Bella falls asleep, but wakes up when Charlie gets a phone call about bonfires being held outside of the reservation. Bella figures out that it's in celebration of the Cullens leaving. I don't blame 'em. I'd be burning fires in celebration too, if I thought Edward was actually gone from this story for good. Anway, we get a stupid info dump about how the Quileutes have their "superstitions" about the vampires and how "there were the few that believed". Considering that the vampires are real, this comes across as mighty condescending. Oh, and she specifically mentions the legends of their "wolf-men ancestors" at this point. Keep this in mind later, when she has nary a clue as to what's up with Jacob.
Charlie finally confronts Bella and asks her if Edward abandoned her in the woods. She dodges the question and asks how he knew where to find her. He reminds her that she left a note and goes on to say how he called for the Cullens and then the doctor when she didn't come home. I'm sure we're supposed to think that Charlie just doesn't understand Bella's pain here, but I feel damned sorry for the guy. He comes across as really hurt and worried, and Bella just seems like a total bitch for going on more about how the word "Edward" causes her pain than how she hurt her father.
Charlie continues to ask if Edward abandoned her and Bella being Bella, she goes on more and more about how that name just is OH SO PAINFUL. Rather than confronting reality, she covers her ears (really, she does this) and runs up to her room. It seems that she was not the one who left the note - Edward was. And he's able to perfectly mimic her handwriting and writing style? Well...that's not creepy at all.
Up in her room, she starts to go through her stuff and realizes that Edward has stolen everything of hers that would "remind" her of him. I...don't really know what to make of that. It just is stupid and rather insulting that Edward would actually think that stealing her pictures of him and so forth would erase her memories of him. Not to mention it's rather dickish, I mean come on! Doesn't she get a say in whether or not he takes her stuff? And I have to admit folks, when I heard about this bit in another recap, I actually thought it was a joke. Hooo boy.
And of course, how else to end this chapter, but with a lot of waaaaaaaaaaangst?
"I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn’t lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface"
ZeldaQueen: Oh noes! He stole her stuff, that totally means she'll in no way be able to remember him or visit her old memories or anything! She should just give up and die! Christ, this is so sappy, I think I need some pancakes.
I'll leave it to Mervin to rant about the infamous missing four pages of Bella's life (which are in no way related to the missing pages of Lewis Carroll's diary, as those are actually interesting), but instead rattle off some of the wonderful morals that girls can take from this chapter
ZeldaQueen: On a more personal note, I'm sorry that Child of Grace has been going so slowly. The Sue's really grating, but also I've been getting a lot more work hours, since a lot of my fellow employees are going back to school. So I'll try to keep up, but sporkings might be few and far between for a bit.
More of Mervin's New Moon Sporkings
Guest Sporkings
ZeldaQueen: I'm taking this chapter assignment for das_mervin
Projection Room Voices: Very well then. Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 3
ZeldaQueen: Right, when Madame Mervin last left off, Jasper nearly ate Bella, but she was saved by Edward, much to our disappointment. Edward starts to act weird and Bella starts arming herself with enough dead herrings to singlehandedly reenact Monty Python's Fish Dance skit.
So the two meet out in the woods and Edward's acting weird, OH WHATEVER COULD THIS MEAN? He is standing there with his usual "unreadable" expression, and is it just me, or does Meyer use that a lot to describe him? Is he supposed to be like Doctor Manhattan in that regard or something? Nah, that would be interesting. Anyway, Bella agrees to a talk, about bloody time. Seriously, Weasley and Buttercup had infinitely better communication regarding their relationship than Bella and Edward! Sweeping romance for the ages, my ass.
Anyway, Edward tells her that they're leaving, and Bella goes to her "he means 'me and him' by 'we'" track, of course showing no concern at all that she's abandoning her parents or friends. Seriously. She just takes a deep breath and says that she's prepared. After coming to grips with the idea that she and Edward would be running off oh what, a day ago? A few days? I don't want to start screaming this early into the review, so I'll just ask all the dear viewers to look to the Darren Shane Saga, first book, for a far better representation of a person suddenly believing that they're going to have to abandon their homes and families.
Also, Bella still doesn't get the idea that Edward isn't including her in that "we", mostly because she's a dumbass in denial. This is kind of sad, really. I mean, even if we didn't already know what's going to happen, it's still blindingly obvious. Does she think Edward's being all emotionless because he feels bad he's taking her away? If he was, he'd freaking be jumping for joy. He'd love to have her all to himself, the selfish bastard. Anyway, she asks why they can't wait another year to run off together and he starts that bull about how Carlisle is claiming that he's thirty three and can hardly pass for thirty. That's...rather weak, really. There are a ton of people who look younger than they are, and looking three years younger than one is isn't that big a deal. Doubly so, given how super-rich the Cullens are, which would mean that most people would probably chalk Carlisle's youthful appearance down to plastic surgery or at least really good makeup. Of course, this is supposed to be his dumb excuse as for why he's to dump her, and of course she's to blindingly idiotic to point out the various holes in that excuse. Instead, she figures out for the first time that he's not including her in that 'we'.
She starts to go all cold and numb, and this is getting really sad. She starts insisting that she'll come along, and I have to agree with Spoony - aside from being sad and pathetic, this is also pretty freaking selfish. She's basically demanding that Edward take her along, essentially just whisking her away. No fake funeral, not explaining to her parents where she's going. And if people just disappear, they are searched for. In other words, she's apparently fine with forcing her precious Cullens into a period of time in hiding so they won't be arrested for kidnapping, not to mention either forcing them to live with her delicious scent under her nose (which caused this all to begin with) or turning her into a vampre (which Edward has insisted that he does not want to happen to her). That's not even going into the idea that she isn't batting an eye over abandoning her parents or friends. We've ranted about that in many other places.
Edward starts going on first about how the place they're going is "not the right place for [her]" and then that he's "no good" for her. And where the hell did this come from, might I ask? Wasn't a good part of the first book him going on to her about how much he loved her, so much so that he couldn't listen to common sense and avoid her for her own safety? And he's pulling the "I'm dangerous" card now?
Bella, of course, continues to be utterly wretched and stupid and fails to call him out on that either. Instead, she starts going on about how the incident with Jasper was "nothing". And now I'm going to have to agree with the Twilight Snarker. Seriously, how insensitive is Bella? Is she really unable to understand how people feel horribly upset and guilty when they nearly kill someone? And yes, I know that Edward wasn't the one who attacked, but Meyer is still playing the "Edward blames himself" card, so what we're getting is Edward trying to explain to Bella that he wants to put her life before his happiness (just...go with it) and she's incapable of understanding why he's so upset. She starts going on about how he's a part of her life, and all I'm getting now are flashbacks to The Room. "But why Edward, why? Please, talk to me! You are my life, I can't life without you! YOU'RE TEARING ME APART, EDWARD!" Oh, and she actually admits that while she's trying to sound angry, it actually comes across as begging. How charming. She's getting upset and hysterical and begging him to stay while he's just standing there, cold and emotionless. This doesn't paint a very nice picture, Meyer.
Anyway, when none of this gets Edward to change his mind, Bella reminds him of her promise while they were in Phoenix in the last book, specifically that he'd never leave her. He says that he only promised to be with her "[a]s long as that was best for [her]".
*stares* First of all, what the hell gives him the right to decide what's best for her? What, is he her fucking father? Daddy knows best? Doesn't she get a say at all? Christ!
Second of all... *pulls out copy of Twilight*
"'Don't leave me,' I begged in a broken voice.
'I won't,' he promised... 'Bella...I'm not going anywhere. I'll be right here as long as you need me'"
ZeldaQueen: Edward Cullen, you are a fucking liar. You said absolutely nothing about staying as long as it was best for Bella. You said you'd be there as long as she needed you. Big difference, asshole. And Bella's no better, because she is so busy freaking out that she doesn't think to call him out on it, or even get angry over how he's being a patronizing dick. Instead, she starts screaming about how this must be that silly obsession Edward has with protecting her soul from Hell. *rolls eyes*. She goes on to say "Carlisle told me about that, and I don’t care, Edward. I don’t care! You can have my soul. I don’t want it without you — it’s yours already!"
... Wow. That's a whole new low of pathetic.
Anyway, Edward finally just says he doesn't want her to come along. And even though she is able to note that his words are "slow" and "precise" and even though he's apparently emotionless, she decides that he totally means what he says and that he doesn't want her anymore.
I'd...um, I'd just like to ask something - Bella's supposed to be really literate, isn't she? She's supposed to be familiar with a lot of classic works, romances in particular, right? SO HOW IN THE HOLY HELL DOES SHE NOT REALIZE THAT EDWARD IS LYING??? I mean, dear God! This is one of the oldest tricks in the book, the "I hate you, go away" routine! It can't get anymore cliched! And she's actually falling for it. GOD!
Oh, and she doesn't even question the fact that he gave her several fake excuses before this. Even if she thinks he was lying to try to spare her feelings, wouldn't that contradict the fact that they have such an epic and wonderful romance? I mean, isn't honesty a huge part of a good relationship? Heck, Meyer could have tried to pitch it by having Bella seeing a glimpse of Edward's true emotions, that he really did love her and genuinely believed that leaving her would make things better for her. And perhaps Bella would see how much Edward was sacrificing to make her happy and thus decides to live her life as best she can in honor of that, maybe nursing the faint hope that he'll return, but trying to go on anyway. No. Instead, we're supposed to believe that Edward is being so believably coldhearted and hates her all of a sudden and Bella is just a moron who believes it.
Seriously, I can't get over this. He spent all of the last book and the beginning of this one going on about how he loves her, how he can't be without her, how eternity is meaningless without her. And he suddenly says "Nope, sorry, don't want you anymore" and she's not the least bit suspicious? Even if she thinks he does mean it, shouldn't she then jump to the conclusion that all of those sweet nothings before were just lies and thus he's a lying bastard who she's better off without? I'm seriously getting flashbacks to My Inner Life, and that is not a good thing.
Oh, for the love of - we just get more of Bella going on about how she's numb and horrified and can't believe this. I can't either, for entirely different reasons. Edward explains to her that he'll "always love [her]… in a way". Great, just say "we're better off as friends" and get it over with. He says that he's "tired of pretending to be something [he's] not...not human". *scowls* Oh, since when did you ever pretend to be human? All you've done since day one is go on about how boring and dull and shallow humans are, just like every other "protagonist" in this goddammed series.
Anyway, Bella keeps going numb and apparently can't feel anything "below the neck". She must be SOL, since there ain't anything going on above the neck either. *rim shot* Edward asks one last favor of her. As he asks this, she mentions seeing something flicker across his face, but can't tell what it is. Oh my God, is she a dumbass! Anyway, Edward asks her not to do anything "reckless or stupid" and, considering that he disapproves of most of the stuff she does, that leaves me wondering how she's going to fill her days. Edward immediately says that this favor is for Charlie's sake, and I'm rolling my eyes again because yeah, Edward's just been the paragon of sensitivity and concern when it comes to Bella's father.
Bella agrees to this and notices Edward visibly relaxing and she still doesn't get it. He says to her "Don’t worry. You’re human — your memory is no more than a sieve. Time heals all wounds for your kind" ... Well that isn't patronizing or insulting in the slightest! Why don't you just come right out and say "You humans are shallow idiots who just can't compare"? God! And of course, Bella completely missing how rude that is, because she has the brains of a rock, or perhaps an OJ Simpson juror. Instead, she asks if he'll remember her. He says that he will - of course he will, since he's an almighty vampire who's ultimately superior - but that vampires are "very easily distracted". Doing what exactly? From all I've seen, they just run around eating people. And all I've seen Edward do is wander around, playing the piano and be morose.
Yet again, this all misses Bella. All she notices is when Edward says that "we" will never bother her again. She instantly realizes that this means that the rest of the family is gone. *scratches head* Didn't she come to that conclusion already? She asks if this means that Alice will never come back, and Edward tells her yeah, that's how it goes. Oh goody, if I never see that twerp again, it'll be too soon. Apparently the family has already up and left and, while Alice wanted to say goodbye to Bella, Edward pretty much forced her to just leave, on the grounds that a "clean break" would be better for Bella. *blinks* Okay, first of all, why in the seven levels of Hell would Alice be bullied into doing anything by Edward? Meyer spends all of the series trying to pitch her as this tough, cool chick who does what she wants, but she's always cowed by Edward when it comes to dealing with Bella, who is supposed to be Alice's best friend. Second of all, yet again, what gives Edward the right to decide what's "better" for Bella? How does he know that Bella wouldn't rather get a chance to say goodbye to Alice? It's unfair to both of them! *grumbles*
For some reason, Bella flashes back to when she was in the hospital in Phoenix, where she was shown an x-ray of one of her many injuries and was apparently told that it was a clean break, and thus would heal more easily and quickly. Erm...I guess this is supposed to be symbolic? Anyway, Bella goes on about how she's numb, dead, in a nightmare, yadda, yadda, yadda. She calls to Edward to wait and he pins her wrists to her sides and kisses her on the forehead. That's not creepy at all. She closes her eyes, he tells her to take care of herself, and then she opens her eyes and he's gone.
Bella, at this point, has completely flipped her shit and goes chasing after him into the forest. Even though he has left no footprints or trail, she goes running off like a dumbass. And I feel I'd be horribly denying you all if I left out her explanation, so here it is.
"I could not do anything else. I had to keep moving. If I stopped looking for him, it was over.
Love, life, meaning… over"
ZeldaQueen: . . .
I'm...erm, I'm torn between laughing hysterically at how cheesy that line is, crying because she's so damned pathetic, and disgusted because this is the greatest literary heroine of the time period, who is billed as a role model for girls? Seriously?
So Bella spends hours searching the forest and of course doesn't find Edward and finally, when it's dark, she trips and falls over and just curls up on the ground in a miserable little ball of wangst. She starts going all emo and poetic about how there's no moonlight, and perhaps "there was no moon tonight — a lunar eclipse, a new moon". *cheerfully* Okay folks, dictionary time!
- Lunar eclipse - Obscuration of the full moon when it passes through the shadow of the earth
- New Moon - The phase of the moon occurring when it passes between the earth and the sun and is invisible or visible only as a narrow crescent at sunset
- Stephenie Meyer - Hack writer who cant do research if someone held a gun to her head
We good?
Moving on, Bella is lying there like a slug, as it is her only defense, and mentions that she is shivering, even though she isn't cold. I guess the revelation that there's no moonlight is just too much for her. After awhile, she hears people calling her name, but of course is too useless - excuse me, "dazed" - to answer. Hey, she's in the depth of despair. Did you really think she'd be bothered by stupid details, like the fact that her father would be insane with worry over her?
It starts to rain and this gets Bella cold enough to cover her head with her arms. She hears more calling and starts to consider calling back. She decides that they're too far away to bother. What a noble heroine. Truely, this rates right up there with Rose swearing to Jack she'll never let go and finding a way to save herself in freezing water. Suddenly, she hears a snuffling noise, like an animal is somewhere nearby. She wonders if she should be afraid, but decides that she's too numb to. What a wonderful role model! Her Man leaves her and she just falls to the ground and lets herself potentially be eaten by an animal! Eh, it doesn't matter. The noises go away and suddenly there is a light. Oh shit, has Bella finally died? Will we be spared her endless whining?
No, it's just an unknown man (who else to save her?), showing up in the nick of time. He explains that he's Sam Uley and asks "[h]ave you been hurt?" She narrates in response that she can't understand the meaning of that simple sentence and "I knew the words meant something, but I could only stare, bewildered. How could the meaning matter at this point?"
*sourly* She's ready for her close-up, Mr. Demille.
Anyway, Sam says that he was sent by Charlie to find her and Bella starts to do something that resembles perking up, because "Charlie mattered, if nothing else did".
. . .
Excuse me for a minute, folks.
OH, IS THAT SO? BULL, I SAY! YOU WERE PERFECTLY FINE WITH JUST ABANDONING HIM WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT WHEN YOU BELIEVED THAT YOUR PRECIOUS EDWARD WAS GOING TO RUN AWAY WITH YOU TO HAWAII! YOU DIDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT HOW HE WOULD FEEL IF YOU DROPPED DEAD OF EXPOSURE IN THE WOODS! YOU HAVE NOT SPARED A SINGLE THOUGHT ABOUT YOUR FATHER ONCE, AND I AM NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THAT YOU SUDDENLY CARE ABOUT HIM NOW!!!!! AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, YOU LITTLE BITCH, WHAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER? HMM? ISN'T SHE SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR BEST FRIEND? HAVE YOU THOUGHT TWICE ABOUT HOW HURT OR SAD OR UPSET SHE WOULD BE IF YOU JUST DISAPPEARED OR DIED WITHOUT A SINGLE EXPLANATION? I WISH YOU WOULD JUST DIE, YOU IDIOT! THEN WE COULD ALL BE SPARED YOUR ENDLESS SELFISH IDIOCY!!!!!!!!
Sorry about that. Moving on, Sam offers Bella his hand, but she's too busy angsting to figure out to take it. He apparently just shrugs at this and picks her up in his arms in a "quick and supple notion". Um, either Meyer's abusing the thesaurus again, or she has a typo. Either one seems likely. In any case, he carries her off like a rag doll, and she acknowledges that she ought to be bothered that she's being carried off by a stranger, but is still too numb to care. Again, what a great role model!
So Bella is brought home and apparently she has been muttering "[h]e's gone" over and over, and is so nutso that she hasn't noticed. She's deposited into Charlie's arms, and there's a fairly sweet scene in which he carries her home, while trying to comfort her. It's kind of ruined though, because Bella is just so spineless and pathetic. Seriously, if she were having this reaction over something justified? Fantastic. But she's going catatonic over a break-up with a guy she's been with for what, a year?
Note from das_mervin - apparently she's been with Edward for six months. That just proves my point more
When they get home, Charlie hands Bella off to a fellow named Dr. Gerandy. Bella treats him like she's known him all her life and we get no explanation, so either he was introduced earlier, or Meyer just pulled him out of thin air. He asks Bella what happened in the woods and we get some vague descriptions over the people in the house who had been searching for her. These include Sam, several other men from the La Push reservation, Mike, Mike's dad, and Angela's dad. I know this is probably nitpicking, but I notice that it's not specified that any girls were in this search party. What, are women unable to find missing persons? I guess I can't be too hard on that bit. After all, it's disgustingly added that "[h]alf the town" was looking for Bella. I'm just going to tell myself it's because Charlie was so worried that he got them all helping out, because otherwise? This just reminds me too much of the bit in the first book when most of the school shows up just to see if Bella's alright in the hospital.
Bella lies and tells the doctor that she just got lost in the woods and starts to fall asleep. She vaguely describes hearing the doctor explaining about Carlisle's very quick disappearance, which apparently involved some story about him receiving a very important job offer elsewhere. I'd imagine that an important doctor wouldn't be able to just pack up and go like that, but whatever. I don't care.
Bella falls asleep, but wakes up when Charlie gets a phone call about bonfires being held outside of the reservation. Bella figures out that it's in celebration of the Cullens leaving. I don't blame 'em. I'd be burning fires in celebration too, if I thought Edward was actually gone from this story for good. Anway, we get a stupid info dump about how the Quileutes have their "superstitions" about the vampires and how "there were the few that believed". Considering that the vampires are real, this comes across as mighty condescending. Oh, and she specifically mentions the legends of their "wolf-men ancestors" at this point. Keep this in mind later, when she has nary a clue as to what's up with Jacob.
Charlie finally confronts Bella and asks her if Edward abandoned her in the woods. She dodges the question and asks how he knew where to find her. He reminds her that she left a note and goes on to say how he called for the Cullens and then the doctor when she didn't come home. I'm sure we're supposed to think that Charlie just doesn't understand Bella's pain here, but I feel damned sorry for the guy. He comes across as really hurt and worried, and Bella just seems like a total bitch for going on more about how the word "Edward" causes her pain than how she hurt her father.
Charlie continues to ask if Edward abandoned her and Bella being Bella, she goes on more and more about how that name just is OH SO PAINFUL. Rather than confronting reality, she covers her ears (really, she does this) and runs up to her room. It seems that she was not the one who left the note - Edward was. And he's able to perfectly mimic her handwriting and writing style? Well...that's not creepy at all.
Up in her room, she starts to go through her stuff and realizes that Edward has stolen everything of hers that would "remind" her of him. I...don't really know what to make of that. It just is stupid and rather insulting that Edward would actually think that stealing her pictures of him and so forth would erase her memories of him. Not to mention it's rather dickish, I mean come on! Doesn't she get a say in whether or not he takes her stuff? And I have to admit folks, when I heard about this bit in another recap, I actually thought it was a joke. Hooo boy.
And of course, how else to end this chapter, but with a lot of waaaaaaaaaaangst?
"I felt the smooth wooden floor beneath my knees, and then the palms of my hands, and then it was pressed against the skin of my cheek. I hoped that I was fainting, but, to my disappointment, I didn’t lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at me before now reared high up and washed over my head, pulling me under.
I did not resurface"
ZeldaQueen: Oh noes! He stole her stuff, that totally means she'll in no way be able to remember him or visit her old memories or anything! She should just give up and die! Christ, this is so sappy, I think I need some pancakes.
I'll leave it to Mervin to rant about the infamous missing four pages of Bella's life (which are in no way related to the missing pages of Lewis Carroll's diary, as those are actually interesting), but instead rattle off some of the wonderful morals that girls can take from this chapter
- If your boyfriend is blatantly lying to you as you break up, you should totally ignore it and instead beg and plead with him to keep you.
- If your boyfriend leaves you, you should just run to a remote location and lie on the ground until you die of exposure. You totally shouldn't bother trying to bravely carry on, especially not for your family or friends' sakes.
- You should only worry about your father's well-being after your boyfriend has left and definitely isn't going to bring you along. Otherwise, he can go hang.
- If your boyfriend leaves you and you hear people calling for you, obviously worried, you should just lie there and not bother to respond.
- If your boyfriend leaves you and you hear a strange animal nearby, you should just lie there and make no effort to move away or shoo it away. Better to be eaten than be single, after all.
- If your boyfriend leaves you and a strange man offers to bring you home, it's totally alright to just lie there with no resistance and let him carry you off, possibly to rape or murder you in the forest.
- If your boyfriend leaves you and essentially abandons you in the woods while you're emotionally devastated, it's perfectly alright to ignore your father's concerned questions and just cover your ears and go "la la la, not listening!"
- If your boyfriend leaves you and you don't feel the need to lie down in the woods until you die, you clearly weren't really in love. Because obviously, if you loved him enough, you'd have no desire to live after he dumps you. So if you have a break-up and don't want to die, you're a horrible person who didn't really love your boyfriend, for shame.
ZeldaQueen: On a more personal note, I'm sorry that Child of Grace has been going so slowly. The Sue's really grating, but also I've been getting a lot more work hours, since a lot of my fellow employees are going back to school. So I'll try to keep up, but sporkings might be few and far between for a bit.
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-06 09:12 pm (UTC)Bella is alternately pathetic, useless, clingy, stupid, selfish, blind, and manipulative in this chapter. Edward is also in the wrong here. I asked a friend of mine about this chapter and she just brushed the whole thing off by saying, "Yeah, Edward leaves her to protect her, it's a guy thing, that's what guys do, etc." I think that she was possibly thinking of the Spiderman scenario, where Peter Parker turns down Mary Jane in the first film to protect her from villains who may want to use her to hurt him. The difference is that Peter didn't leave Mary Jane in a forest all by herself, leave town, and steal all of her mementos of him.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-09-07 01:34 am (UTC)Agreed on all of that. And the infuriating part is that there were so many ways Meyer COULD have done this well enough to be really good and sad and sympathetic, even if the reason for breaking up was bull. I mean, Harry broke up with Ginny by honestly saying he loved her and was doing it to help her and she didn't throw a tantrum and sob.