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zelda_queenI am writing up this report because of a rather startling revelation I had as of late. Really late, to be precise like around midnight of last night, but never mind that. The point is, I had this crazy theory - the horrible fanfiction Child of Grace is somehow the forerunner to the Twilight Series.
Seriously, think about it.
First, we have our "protagonists", Holly and Bella respectively. Both are young girls who angst. A lot. Both are never satisfied with what they're given, just using it as excuses to complain more, even though it's more than a lot of people ever get. Both keep the appearance of sweet, caring, innocent girls, when both are the most bitchy, arrogant, awful, slimy toads of characters that I've ever seen in my life. And neither of them have the decency to come right out and be as bitchy and awful as they are inside. Instead, they basically are Purity Sues, holding up a facade of innocents and never actually doing anything. Both have an ungodly number of people jostling for their attention. For no reason at all, I might add, since both of the girls have the personality of packing peanuts and, as I said before, are never happy or satisfied.
And then we have the fact that this ungodly number of people can be divided into two groups - the shallow, bitchy, absolutely rude people and the genuinely nice people who call the girls out on their behavior. Two guesses as to which group both girls prefer and which one both belittle and ignore and mock at all opportunities. Hell, we even get a copy of Bella's flounce in New Moon over how Jessica and co have the gall to be annoyed with her after she ignores them for several months - just look at Holly getting pissy at Ron, Hermione, and Neville for daring to suspect that she had anything to do with the Chamber of Secrets, never mind the fact that she and her friends were gleefully bullying and abetting in bullying for that entire year. And what do you know? The only one that Bella considered worthy of forgiving was Mike, because he kissed her butt and let her walk over him. The only one that Holly at all got over her "betrayal" for was Neville, who kissed her butt and let her walk over him.
So yeah, like I said, two groups of friends. First, let's look at the bitchy, shallow ones. In Twilight, that's of course the Cullens. They're gorgeous, rich, and bend over backwards to please Bella, when they themselves aren't mocking humans or forcing her to do stuff she doesn't want. Now, let's look at Holly's group of Slytherin friends. They're at least moderately attractive (and, of course, described with the most flattering adjectives available), rich, and bend over backwards to please Holly when they themselves aren't mocking or attacking charactersthe author they don't like.
And then the good group of friends. That'd be Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Tyler, and Eric, for Twilight. the author does everything in her power to make them seem unappealing. She uses them as scapegoats whenever she can. She tries her damnedest to make us hate them. But all we can think is that they have the patience of saints to put up with Bella's shit and not kill her. We think that when they do fight and argue with her, it's actually quite justified, even though we're supposed to see it as terrible behavior. Now, in Holly's case, she has Ron, Hermione, and Neville. They are extremely nice to her, looking out for her wellbeing and giving her nice things. The author tries to make them look like a bunch of backstabbing jerks. But all we can think is that they're very nice, very loyal people to continue to send Holly lovely gifts and attention after how distant and rude she's been to them. We think that when they were suspicious of her, it was quite justified, given that she does nothing to condone her friends' behavior which, among other things, injured a First Year enough to send him to the Hospital Wing several times. And, spoilers folks, she continues this into her third year. Because an entire summer of wishing her a happy birthday and sending her gifts (which even her friends didn't do) isn't enough to make it up to her.
Of course there's an "aren't I the greatest" scene in both stories, by way of a dance. In fact, I think Holly is even worse than Bella in that regard. I don't want to spoil it, because dear God ABOVE is it a doozy, but let's just say that it puts even Bella "every boy in the school wants me" Swan to shame.
In case you're wondering where Luna was in all that, she's the Angela stand-in. Seriously. She's the character outside of the Good People who the author deemed worthy to bask in her Sue's presence and basically is a little minion now.
But, of course, what would a bitchy, "sweet, doormat protagonist be without a bastard of a boyfriend, hmm? We all know about Edward by now. Let's not pretend we don't. Let's instead look at Tom Riddle. We have the same case of the author trying her hardest to excuse all of of his flaws in the name of "he just loves Holly that much"! And dear lord, is there a lot to try to excuse. He openly admits to drugging his fellow orphans - just children - until he had his wand. Until he had a means to more effectively torture them. He goes on about how his Voldemort self is such a monster and he's filled with self-loathing over it, but he clearly is the same. He makes very tasteless jokes about attacking and torturing people. He constantly belittles and laughs at everyonethe author he doesn't like.
Plotwise? Almost exactly the same. Bloated, purple prose? Check. Inability to just call someone by their damned names? Check. Conveniently glossing over important or interesting details, just to linger over what they like? Check. Mary Sues by the truckload? CHECK!
Seriously, first Arianna black, then My Inner Life and now this! What the heck? Either Stephenie Meyer's few writing projects before Twilight were fanfiction or that says something rather awful about the quality of her work. Gack.
Seriously, think about it.
First, we have our "protagonists", Holly and Bella respectively. Both are young girls who angst. A lot. Both are never satisfied with what they're given, just using it as excuses to complain more, even though it's more than a lot of people ever get. Both keep the appearance of sweet, caring, innocent girls, when both are the most bitchy, arrogant, awful, slimy toads of characters that I've ever seen in my life. And neither of them have the decency to come right out and be as bitchy and awful as they are inside. Instead, they basically are Purity Sues, holding up a facade of innocents and never actually doing anything. Both have an ungodly number of people jostling for their attention. For no reason at all, I might add, since both of the girls have the personality of packing peanuts and, as I said before, are never happy or satisfied.
And then we have the fact that this ungodly number of people can be divided into two groups - the shallow, bitchy, absolutely rude people and the genuinely nice people who call the girls out on their behavior. Two guesses as to which group both girls prefer and which one both belittle and ignore and mock at all opportunities. Hell, we even get a copy of Bella's flounce in New Moon over how Jessica and co have the gall to be annoyed with her after she ignores them for several months - just look at Holly getting pissy at Ron, Hermione, and Neville for daring to suspect that she had anything to do with the Chamber of Secrets, never mind the fact that she and her friends were gleefully bullying and abetting in bullying for that entire year. And what do you know? The only one that Bella considered worthy of forgiving was Mike, because he kissed her butt and let her walk over him. The only one that Holly at all got over her "betrayal" for was Neville, who kissed her butt and let her walk over him.
So yeah, like I said, two groups of friends. First, let's look at the bitchy, shallow ones. In Twilight, that's of course the Cullens. They're gorgeous, rich, and bend over backwards to please Bella, when they themselves aren't mocking humans or forcing her to do stuff she doesn't want. Now, let's look at Holly's group of Slytherin friends. They're at least moderately attractive (and, of course, described with the most flattering adjectives available), rich, and bend over backwards to please Holly when they themselves aren't mocking or attacking characters
And then the good group of friends. That'd be Jessica, Mike, Lauren, Tyler, and Eric, for Twilight. the author does everything in her power to make them seem unappealing. She uses them as scapegoats whenever she can. She tries her damnedest to make us hate them. But all we can think is that they have the patience of saints to put up with Bella's shit and not kill her. We think that when they do fight and argue with her, it's actually quite justified, even though we're supposed to see it as terrible behavior. Now, in Holly's case, she has Ron, Hermione, and Neville. They are extremely nice to her, looking out for her wellbeing and giving her nice things. The author tries to make them look like a bunch of backstabbing jerks. But all we can think is that they're very nice, very loyal people to continue to send Holly lovely gifts and attention after how distant and rude she's been to them. We think that when they were suspicious of her, it was quite justified, given that she does nothing to condone her friends' behavior which, among other things, injured a First Year enough to send him to the Hospital Wing several times. And, spoilers folks, she continues this into her third year. Because an entire summer of wishing her a happy birthday and sending her gifts (which even her friends didn't do) isn't enough to make it up to her.
Of course there's an "aren't I the greatest" scene in both stories, by way of a dance. In fact, I think Holly is even worse than Bella in that regard. I don't want to spoil it, because dear God ABOVE is it a doozy, but let's just say that it puts even Bella "every boy in the school wants me" Swan to shame.
In case you're wondering where Luna was in all that, she's the Angela stand-in. Seriously. She's the character outside of the Good People who the author deemed worthy to bask in her Sue's presence and basically is a little minion now.
But, of course, what would a bitchy, "sweet, doormat protagonist be without a bastard of a boyfriend, hmm? We all know about Edward by now. Let's not pretend we don't. Let's instead look at Tom Riddle. We have the same case of the author trying her hardest to excuse all of of his flaws in the name of "he just loves Holly that much"! And dear lord, is there a lot to try to excuse. He openly admits to drugging his fellow orphans - just children - until he had his wand. Until he had a means to more effectively torture them. He goes on about how his Voldemort self is such a monster and he's filled with self-loathing over it, but he clearly is the same. He makes very tasteless jokes about attacking and torturing people. He constantly belittles and laughs at everyone
Plotwise? Almost exactly the same. Bloated, purple prose? Check. Inability to just call someone by their damned names? Check. Conveniently glossing over important or interesting details, just to linger over what they like? Check. Mary Sues by the truckload? CHECK!
Seriously, first Arianna black, then My Inner Life and now this! What the heck? Either Stephenie Meyer's few writing projects before Twilight were fanfiction or that says something rather awful about the quality of her work. Gack.
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(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-18 08:52 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-18 10:14 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-19 05:55 am (UTC)"I like Draco, because I think that that a) Tom Felton is hot, b) that bad boys are hot, c) rich boys are hot or d) all of the above.
"However, Draco is clearly a bigot who wants to destroy people who don't have any magic. How do I deal with this and still continue to like him?
"Well, his father is very strict toward him in the second book, and Narcissa clearly is more indulgent toward Draco than Lucius is. Based on this, I will decide that Lucius is emotionally abusive.
"But that is not dire enough. I must show that Draco's situation is far worse. Therefore, Lucius is physically abusive as well.
Now we have a justification for everything that Draco does. If he expresses hatred for Muggleborns and contempt for Muggles, he is clearly only doing this so that his father will not hear from the other kids in Slytherin that Draco Malfoy is a Muggle-loving bastard. Because if Lucius hears that, he will kill Draco.
So Draco gets to be his canonical self AND a nice guy at the same time.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-08-19 06:25 am (UTC)Rowling still had the last laugh in that regard though. I wonder if she browsed HP fanfiction before writing the last few books?