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zelda_queenProjection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Part 3
ZeldaQueen: When we last left Diego and Bree, they had just broken into a shopping mall, robbed the place, and were having a discussion about a dude named Freaky Fred. Ah, just the sort of date that any couple can relate to. And Meyer apparently remembered that she could completely cop out on doing an original tale with well-developed characters when she could just repeat and re-introduce stuff from the actual series, so we've gotten into that stupid thing about "extra" powers.
If I might get up on my soapbox for a minute, incidentally, I'd just like to say that I really hate this extra power thing. I believe it's for three reasons. The first is that it leaves Meyer's vampires way overpowered, especially compared to how few weaknesses they have. Which leads to the second reason, that yes there have been vampires like Dracula who've had a ton o' powers, but Dracula also had plenty of limitations and weaknesses (loss of powers during the day, being unable to enter a place uninvited, and so on). But finally, it's just that it reminds me of the freaking X-men, especially given how we get the barrel scrapped for powers. And while I like the X-men, this is a vampire story, not a mutant one! By all means, Meyer, write about people with a wide variety of strange powers who must remain hidden from the world. Just have it separate from vampires, who already have their own powers and stuff.
*breathes deep* So that's over, sorry about that! Anyway, back to the story!
Right. So it turns out that Raoul has some sort of power as well. Bree asks if it's "[s]uper-stupidity" and I'm really getting tired of these jokes. We haven't met Raoul yet and we have no point of reference for this idiocy that keeps being alluded to. It has potential to be a funny running joke if it were used to refer to some Noodles Incident that showcases his stupidity, but we all know that it's just Meyer thinking that ghetto kids just stand around all day going on about how thinks are like totally stupid, don't you know? Anyway, Raoul's ability is actually "some sort of magnetism"
ZeldaQueen: No, he actually has the far more boring power of getting people to follow him, which I'd just call charisma or being sneaky, but clearly human traits like that are far too dull for Meyer's wonderful vampires. Bah. It's also added that apparently Raoul's power only works on idiots, or "the mentally-challenged", as Bree puts it. Um, what streetwise gangstah kid would use "mentally-challenged" in the place of something like "retarded"? Diego chimes in that Riley does indeed seem to think that Raoul's power doesn't work on the "tamer kids", which seems to include himself and Bree, or as he puts it, "people...who are able to think occasionally". Bree, tame and able to think occasionally? Pfffffff - HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Oh, that cracks me up!
Bree, meanwhile, is getting ready to pitch a fit at being called tame. It's all interrupted while Diego launches into his theory, which is his own, that dinosaurs are thinner on the ends and thicker in the middle something really big is going to be going down and Riley will be needing Raoul's super-charms to lead them all. Um, doesn't it seem a little silly to rely on a power that he knows excludes the *ahem* more intelligent and controlled vampires, that is to say, the vampires that have the best chance at realizing they are being tricked and retaliating?
Whatever! Diego asks Bree if she's ever thought it was weird that they always were forced to keep a low profile and why is that indicative of anything? Doesn't it just make sense that they ought to stay under the radar? What, does Diego think that vampires would normally be allowed to run around, willy-nilly, nomming in public? What I'd consider suspicious is that there's a boatload of them all kept hidden in a basement! I mean seriously, why do Bree and Diego think that Riley keeps so many of them around? What, did they just figure he had some weird fetish for collecting vampire newborns or something and kept them in the basement to admire them? I don't get it!
Of course, this all flies over Bree's head and she instead starts wondering why on Earth Riley's right-hand man would be questioning things. Um, Bree? Just because you have the brains of a dead trout doesn't mean every other character has to. We get some nonsense about her thinking that maybe he's spying for Riley and then decides that he isn't. Hooray? So anyway, she confessing that she was just wondering about that. Yeah right.
They start discussing about how there are other vampires in the world, but surely there can't be so many more, or else they'd have heard about them as humans. Um no, not if said other vampires stayed under the radar like you've been told to! All this leads to them wondering why Victoria would be ordering the creation of so many new vampires, especially since Riley doesn't seem to like them that much. Wow...one of my complaints is actually being brought up in the story itself. I'm speechless. Although I must ask, WHY ARE THEY ONLY TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW? DIDN'T IT OCCUR TO THEM BEFORE, AT ALL?
Anyway, Diego moves on to his newest theory, about how Victoria is going to be engaging in some sort of fight and Riley created them to be the "front line". Bree wonders why they haven't been told if that's the case. Dude, just go into that bookstore you broke into and steal a copy of Eclipse. All will be made clear.
And then - son of a bitch! They just start laughing at it! THEY HONESTLY THOUGHT THAT SOMETHING SERIOUS AND SUSPICIOUS WAS GOING DOWN AND THEY LAUGHED IT OFF! WHY, MEYER, WHY MUST YOUR PROTAGONISTS ALWAYS BE COMPLETELY BRAIN DEAD???
God! Moving on, Diego glances out a window and says that they'd best be going before they "turn into crispies". Snap, Crackle, and Pop, hooray! So seriously, it seems that Bree and Diego are operating under the assumption that their vampire-ism follows that of legends. This would be interesting...but why? What else about them follows traditional vampire lore? They haven't got fangs, they don't sleep during the day (or at all, for that matter), they can't turn into fog, they can't control animals or turn into wolves or bats, they can definitely enter places they weren't invited into, garlic doesn't bother then, and they certainly don't have reflections. So what? Why that?
And hey, Bree still finds time to break into a Target for Zip-lock bags and backpacks because "[w]ater-damaged pages annoy [her]". I find it extremely hilarious that Meyer went on about how Bree's life was supposed to be some creepy bottom-feeding existence, where she's shut up in a basement, but she still complains about things like her books being damaged by water.
Anyway, they high-tail it back and there's a charming bit where they pass some night watchmen and Bree thinks about how lucky they are that she's too full or else she'd eat them. Apparently Diego wouldn't hold her back or anything if she was unwilling, so I can only conclude that she'd be perfectly fine nomming on them if she was thirsty.
Oh, and Bree mentioned that she was a "vampire nerd", following the rules and hanging out with "the most unpopular kid in the group". Brushing aside the fact that a streetwise girl would probably use something stronger than "nerd", isn't saying that you're a real [insert thing here] nerd usually a sort of a backwards insult to yourself? Like, you're saying "Yes, I'm a hopeless Pokemon fanatic. Isn't it great?" And in that case, it's usually used for geeky, harmless activities that are not vampire-ism!!!
But even though they're running for their lives, there's still time for ham-fisted flirting! Diego starts trying to race Bree and she decides to take him up on the challenge, even though she can't remember if she was competitive when she was human. What? So she can remember that she was a teenage runaway living on the streets, but she can't remember her personality? Does turning oneself into a vampire change who they are? I mean, that could be creepy, but Meyer seems to conveniently pick and choose what can be remembered here.
So they go racing to the house that they're all staying in. Bree goes on about how it's got a big basement and "recently deceased owners", how lovely. Oh, and it's implied that this isn't their first house, so that means that they killed the residents of at least one other place. Doesn't that, you know, get noticed? I'd imagine that if someone's got a house with a large basement, chances are they're not "dregs" and people will probably notice if they go missing! Not to mention the fact that houses get mail and phone calls and visits from salesmen and everything and sooner or later, someone's going to notice that Mr. McMurdered hasn't been coming to work or answering his phone or coming to the door...
Gah, no, stop asking questions! They won't be answered and you'll just disappoint yourself! Right, so Bree and Diego get to the house and it's really starting to get light and they see that the house was burnt to the ground.
... Right, sorry about this folks.
DOESN'T ANYONE NOTICE THIS????
I mean, my God! Stuff is being burnt down, people are being kidnapped and murdered, places are being broken into, and all we ever get are a few headlines? The fucking FBI should be looking into this! The Cullens should have been! I mean, this all is being reported surely, and yet none of them saw fit to go into the city and try to put a stop to it? They ought to have known damned well that the police couldn't do too much on their own! THIS MAKES NO SENSE!
*more calmly* Hey folks! What's this a picture of?
ZeldaQueen: Why that's a BULL, I SAY!
*sigh* Right, right, moving on. Bree gets all panicky over this, because it's not like there's such thing as shade or covering one's self with something. Diego is the calm man who tells her to stop freaking out, he has a place to hide. Yes, I know that it's more of Meyer's "men are in control" junk, but I still think Bree's an idiot, especially since vampires are supposed to be able to move super-fast and from the description I got, there's probably enough of the house there for her to make some sort of makeshift cover, even assuming there wasn't anyplace within walking distance for them to hide in.
Anyway, he leads her to an underwater cave and they chill there. Bree compliments it and Diego says "better than Freaky Fred's backside". Um . . . that's what she said?
Bree starts yammering on about how she would have been terrified to be in such close quarters with vampires like Kevin or Kristie, and I repeat that since we know nothing about those vampires right now, this means absolutely nothing. I also must confess that the name "Kristie" just brings this to mind.
ZeldaQueen: I really feel guilty about this, since That Chick With The Goggles is infinitely cooler, classier, interesting, funny, and rational than any female character that Meyer has spat out.
Back to the story, Diego asks Bree how old she was and when she tells him her vampire age, he specifies that he was talking about human years. She starts getting all fussy because humanity sucks and no one likes to talk about it. She tries to remember and gets somewhere in the fifteen-year-old ballpark, before deciding that everything for the past three months has been some blood lusting blur. Now right here, I could see a ton of potential. Perhaps Bree could reflect, for the first time, on how she couldn't remember her humanity and finds that disturbing and starts to rethink her lifestyle. It would be interesting and make her more sympathetic to the audience. But no, instead she just decides that she doesn't like thinking about it and passes the buck to Diego, asking how old he is.
Diego replies that he was just past eighteen and that he was "so close" to "getting out". And he then promptly turns the conversation back to Bree and how wonderfully she's been handling her vampire-ism, getting through with all of her limbs intact. She shows him how her left arm was ripped off and she narrowly avoided having it toasted by a girl named Jen. Again, this has a lot of potential. The thought of someone so casually talking about limbs being ripped off could be scary and it would be interesting to see Bree going from freaking out over it to being completely nonchalant. But instead, we get it glossed over in favor of more flirting between Diego and Bree.
Diego then goes back to trying to piece what's going on together, and of course he gets really close because it's freaking obvious, but never actually comes to any conclusions, because Meyer needs to pad the plot some more. He wonders why Riley brings in any kids he can get his mitts on, instead of just "smart ones" like Bree. Bree? Smart? *gigglesnort* Oh, and he adds that Bree probably wasn't a "junkie ho" when she was human. You know, I have a good mind to make Meyer pay for the repairs to my wall. After all, it's her stupid writing that made me whack my head against it.
Of course, the thought of a conspiracy or that extremely stupid phrase from Diego aren't what bothers Bree. No, it's his bringing up her humanity again. Oy. She implies that she was near enough one when she was turned (HOW DOES SHE REMEMBER THAT? HOW???) and adds that while living on the streets, she thought that hunger was the worst thing until she experienced vampire thirst. Diego replies "[s]ing it, sister". GOD MEYER, ACTUALLY RESEARCH HOW PEOPLE TALK! AND NO, FREEDOM WRITERS DOESN'T COUNT!
Diego pointedly tries to avoid talking about his own past and Bree stares at him until he sighs and gives in. There's some nonsense about his breath smelling like "cinnamon or cloves", because I guess that's important.
Anyway, Diego explains how he had been determined to stay out of gangs and be clean and go to college and better himself, but his little brother wasn't so smart and got involved in a gang, winding up dead as a doornail. And Bree, the little bitch, is clearly as sociopathic as Bella, because she gives us this lovely little bit.
"I couldn't really understand his loss, the pain it still clearly caused him to feel. I hadn't left anything behind that I still missed. Was that the difference? Was that why he dwelled on memories that the rest of us shunned?"
ZeldaQueen: Um, yes Bree, YES I WOULD SAY THAT WOULD BE THE EXPLANATION!!!
I mean good God! She can't understand at all the pain of losing someone close? She didn't have a single person in the world who she cared about? No friends? Not a single family member? A neighbor? Nothing? She didn't even have a pet fish die on her?
And again, it's Bella Swan! Oh look, someone is experiencing something that she has no experience with, and thus she makes no effort whatsoever to understand or empathize! It's like they both have some disorder where they're unable to understand basic human emotions! I just...gah!
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ZeldaQueen: Well, I'm completely disgusted so we'll stop here. I...son of a bitch!
Onward to: Part 4
Back To: Part 2
Back to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-27 02:08 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-27 08:24 pm (UTC)And now there's Bree. Poor doomed Bree, whose condition topped Jasper's as being the most realistic when it came to struggling with the thirst for blood. And what does Meyer do? Turn her into a petty, unintelligent whiner. I mean, seriously, Ms. Meyer. Newborns are supposed to be feral and crazy with blood-lust, right? So, why do Diego and Bree sound like average teenagers? Shouldn't they be acting more like animals? Like how James, Victoria, and Laurent behaved in the first book upon their introduction?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-06-27 11:21 pm (UTC)To borrow a Troper's quote, everything she touches turns to shit. It's like the opposite of King Midas.