The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner: Part 2

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: Right, sorry about the lack of updates, but some stuff's been going on and keeping me occupied. Onward and outward though! Onward and outward!

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Part 2

ZeldaQueen: In our story thus far, Bree and Diego were bonding (or what counts for bonding in this series) and nomming on a pimp and two prostitutes. Diego is such a gentleman that he gives Bree both whores. How sweet!

Okay. Right. So Bree is all amazed that Diego would be so nice as to give her something to eat and otherwise consider her needs. I know that Meyer is trying to set up that Bree had a horrible, horrible past life, so utterly terrible that she is completely unused to and suspicious of genuine acts of altruism. And to which, BULL, I SAY! Does Meyer expect me to believe that a person can go through life so utterly wretched that there was not one person, ONE SINGLE PERSON who did a truly nice thing for them? Even if her parents were coke heads who beat her senseless since birth, didn't she have any friends at all? Pets? Siblings or cousins she could talk to? Huh?

The other thing is that Bree having a horrible past with not a single person in the world who cared about her or missed her? Clearly Meyer's way of excusing Bree's lack of love for the human race or missing her human past. My guess is that Meyer got word that people were calling her out on Bella being ready to dump her loving parents and friends, so she made her next vampire heroine be a person that no one cared about. See? Why should she miss being human? She didn't have a single person to miss or think about or want to go home to! That makes it all better!

Bah.

Anyway, Bree sets about eating the second whore and goes on about how this one tastes much better than the blond one, mainly because blondie had drugs in her system which made her blood have a "bitter aftertaste". Ah yes, nothing like having one's main character compare drinking a person's life's blood to sampling drinks. There's more nonsense about how Bree follows the "dregs rule" and thus is almost always drinking drugged blood.

Right. First of all, I'm starting a count for the word "dregs". We're up to two, thus far. Second of all, GODDAMMIT MEYER, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP BEING UTTERLY STEREOTYPICAL??? DID IT EVER ENTER YOUR EMPTY HEAD THAT NOT EVERYONE IN POORER AREAS OF TOWNS AREN'T ALL WHORES OR PIMPS OR HOMELESS OR DRUG USERS? JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE IS A "DREG" DOESN'T MEAN THAT THEY'RE NOT GOOD PEOPLE WITH BAD LUCK! MY GOD, YOU REMIND ME OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE "IF PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO BE POOR, THEN THEY OUGHT TO GET MORE MONEY"!!! GAH!

Erm, sorry about that. Anyway, Bree wonders why in the world Diego would do something nice for her, and I really can't get why she is unable to comprehend this. Dogs can figure out people doing nice things for them. No, wait, I know why. This is just more of that stupid stuff Meyer gave throughout the rest of the series, about how vampires are normally horrible soulless monsters, just to show how loving and kind and wonderful the Cullens are because MY GOD they can live together and not kill each other! Bite me!

The two have a brief conversation in which Bree asks if the bloodlust gets easier and I don't feel sorry for her in the slightest. They then decide to dump the bodies in "the sound" and Diego's such a gentleman that he carries two of the bodies instead of leaving the third for Bree. Meyer, this "chivalry" isn't sweet, it's downright disturbing. If you meant for it, good on you. Given how you had Edward go around throughout the rest of the series though, I highly doubt you did it on purpose. Anywho, they set off and - son of a bitch!!!

"The lights from the cars below didn't touch us. I thought how stupid people were, how oblivious, and I was glad I wasn't one of the clueless"

ZeldaQueen: Yes Meyer, truly you have a gift for making your characters so easy to relate to! Although I really am starting to think that Bree is only being set up as a Scary Sue, simply to continue to emphasize how fantastic the Cullens are when they aren't even around. Look! Bree hates humans and is soooooo glad she isn't one anymore! Not like the Cullens, who want to be human again! Of course, Meyer kind of shot herself in the foot, given how utterly arrogant the Cullen family is and how they all clearly look down their noses at humans.

So moving on, Bree and Diego dive off of some docks and stow the bodies under a boulder (what, no cement shoes?). Bree mentions that they're more than a hundred feet underwater (erm, how far into the body of water are they?) and "to a human, it would have seemed pitch-black here". Um, Meyer? The most well-lit parts of the ocean extend to 330 feet below the surface, and there is still dim light as far as 3,300 feet down. Unless you're suggesting that Bree and Diego dove more than 3,300 feet just to dump some corpses, FAIL!

Also, a bit of a problem with your method of body disposal - the whole fact that body parts decay and all. What am I talking about? Well, any of you viewers hear of the BC foot mystery? If you haven't, it basically was that a number of shoes with human feet still in them washed up on the beaches of British Columbia. Creepy, right? Well, here's one tidbit that people have used to try to solve the mystery - our ankles are rather weak. As such, it stands to reason that that part of the body would decompose the fastest, thus leaving the foot free to float away, thanks to air trapped in the shoe. In other words, it wouldn't be very long before folks started to notice human shoes with feet floating around the docks. And since this would happen during or around when a bunch of disappearances and murders are taking place, I find it impossible to believe that the police wouldn't send out a bunch of searches underwater to see if any missing folk are down there. What do you know? FAIL!

Well anyway, Bree and Diego are just so pleased that they're able to hide bodies underwater and Bree is confused when Diego holds out his hand for a high-five. Really Meyer? High-five? And when they break surface, he laughs and tells her "worst high five ever". Um dude? You were underwater. Not so easy to wave your hand forward with much force, is it? Not to mention you just shoved three bodies that you murdered under a boulder, what is the matter with you?

So Bree goes off on a flounce about how it was a bad high-five because she thought he was going to rip her arm off or something. Why? He's been nothing but cheerful with her and we've been getting heavy-handed comments from her about how he seemed to be sympathetic and nice and she was helping him out just now, so why in God's name would she think he'd be going to hurt her? Are newborns really so screwed up? In which case, why doesn't she just run away???

Anyway, Diego asks if Bree's up for more hunting and she's all "hell yeah!" and isn't this cute, just like a date? They find two homeless dudes, who are of course sleeping on old newspapers and so boozed up that they don't even wake while they're having their blood sucked. Bree actually has the audacity to complain about how their blood is sour from their alcohol and I want to shoot her. They dump the homeless dudes under another rock and figure that all is well. God...

Diego says that he'll be good for a few weeks and Bree complains that she'll only last a few days and will have to be inconvenienced by going out with Raoul's goons. Good God, she is just a gone-wrong version of vampire Bella! Diego offers to go out hunting with her and yet again she's all suspicious of him. AUGH! And then it gets even dumber, when Bree says that she'd like to go hunting with Diego and hates that she feels "vulnerable". She then asks about Diego's relationship with Riley and wonders how two vampires so different could be together and dear lord, is Meyer really unaware of how much ho yay there is? I mean, just look at this!

"'So how come Riley gives you such a long leash?' I asked, wondering about the relationship there. The more time I spent with Diego, the less I could picture him being tight with Riley. Diego was so...friendly. Nothing like Riley. But maybe it was an opposites attract thing"

ZeldaQueen: shaolina, spork your heart out!

Anyway, Diego explains that he cleans up Riley's "messes" (I can only imagine) and then asks if Bree will do him a favor. And...all of a sudden we get some shift in something or another as Bree mentions how "[she] was starting to be entertained by this strange boy. Curious about him". I honestly don't know if that's a shift in personality or viewpoint or what, but honestly it sounds nothing like how Bree's been. It's like Meyer was writing for another character in flowery prose instead of the gantstah imitation that she's been doing. And given how Bree's been viewing Diego like an older, more experienced guy higher up on the ladder than her, I find it kind of jarring that she suddenly is going on about how he "entertains" her. Because seriously? That sounds more like how someone who views Diego as an equal or inferior would talk about him. If Meyer were trying to have Bree express some sort of comfort with the guy, I'd imagine her saying that she found him interesting or felt a bit more at ease around him.

*shakes head* Sorry about that rant there. So they go bounding back and Bree's certain to wave in our faces how utterly fantastic it is to be a vampire, since no human can possibly see or hear them as they run along. They get back to Kevin and the Blonde Idiot and find that...well they have apparently smashed up several cars, brutally murdered a bunch of other innocent people, and just left the mess piled there. And how do Our Heroes react to this horrible scene? They basically insult the intelligence of Those Two Idiots for leaving evidence. What. Meyer, I really don't like these people at all. I don't care if they live or die. I like reading about characters that I would want to meet and hang out with in real life. I don't want to read about characters that would murder me and not bat an eye if I met them. Gah!

So yeah, it's also mentioned that the police haven't arrived yet because "anyone who might have reported the mayhem was already dead". So everyone on that street was killed? Including everyone in the houses? Because you do know that sound travels, don't you? Given that Meyer has basically painted this neighborhood as the most dangerous and stereotypical ghetto ever, that just makes it even more likely that people in their homes would call the cops at the slightest noise. Does Meyer think that people who are inside are mysteriously on another plane of existence than people in the streets? Maybe that's why no one called the police when Rosalie was being raped by her fiance in a wealthy neighborhood. That's not even bringing up the fact that police cruise areas. Again, if this neighborhood is as horrible as Meyer made it out to be, wouldn't the police spend the night going around and making sure stuff isn't going on? And given that sound fucking travels (as I mentioned before), wouldn't the police hear people screaming as their blood is being drained and cars are being smashed AND GO TO CHECK IT OUT? WHAT, DID KEVIN AND THE BLONDE IDIOT KILL A BUNCH OF POLICE OFFICERS AS WELL AND EXPECT NO ONE TO NOTICE THAT???

*pants furiously* Well, I guess there's not much else to say except FAIL!

Moving on, Diego asks Bree to help him sort this out and proceeds to arrange the cars so that it looks like they had a regular collision instead of one being flipped on top of another. Hmm. Hey, look at this picture!



ZeldaQueen: See that? That's a car that had another car smashed on top of it! And now look at this picture!



ZeldaQueen: That's a car that was in a head-on collision. See how the front is sort of pleated and the windshield and top are in one piece? Notice how it's pretty much the exact opposite in the first picture? I can notice that, and I'm sure that the police would as well.

And the fail does not end, as Bree grabs the "two dry, lifeless bodies" and shoves them in the car to make it look like a regular accident. Because of course, most car collisions leave both drivers dead with no blood in their bodies and bite marks on their necks. Diego and Bree then both pull out lighters which Riley gave them - wait what? Wasn't Riley constantly confiscating lighters and matches from the one dude who kept setting stuff ablaze? And wasn't he constantly screaming at the newborns for causing unnecessary damage and getting unneeded attention? And he thinks giving these people all lighters is a good idea? That dude deserves to have his arm gnawed off later!

Oh wait, the lighters are supposed to be to set fire to the places were bodies were left, to hide the evidence. MY GOD THIS IS STUPID! I mean, what the hell, they're all trying to keep a low profile and decide that the best way to hide their activities is to set stuff on fire??? All while Seattle knows that someone is going around killing and kidnapping people? WHAT? If there was the slightest bit of reality in this, the police would notice this all and decide that clearly there is an arsonist serial killer on the loose and bring in the big guns to smoke them out. But of course this is Meyer's little fantasyland and so of course everyone in the human world is just too stupid to put the pieces together and do anything about her wonderful, clever vampires. God, I want to shoot something.

Diego then sets the gas tank on fire and there is an Earth-shattering kaboom as the cars blow up. Erm Meyer? Unless those cars were Pintos, there's still going to be some suspicion. I'm fairly certain that most everyday collisions don't result in fire and explosions, especially two people driving in a neighborhood at night, surely not going very fast. Bree and Diego compliment each other on their ability to blow up and burn stuff. Aw, can't you just feel the love? Incidentally, even though there was apparently an almighty explosion from the cars, we get no mention of them getting out of there before the police show up. So apparently a fucking explosion in the streets isn't enough to get their attention.

Moving on, before I lose my mind, Diego suggests that they go back to Riley's place and Bree bitches and moans some more about how she doesn't want to go there because of Raoul's goons and once again I find myself asking why she hasn't just run away yet. There's also the fact that Diego is clearly interested and friendly to some degree with her and surely would help watch her back. And even though Bree complains about it, she's also got a fellow named Freaky Fred who she has for more protection. Plus she's out of reading materials.

*rubs head* Reading material? Really Meyer? Given how Spartan you've been painting this all, why would Riley be providing the newborns with books and video games? If these guys all are able to get various luxuries, then...look, I don't care anymore.

Anyway, Diego sees that Bree is less than thrilled with the idea of going back to Riley's place, so he suggests that they go back later. Bree mentions the whole books issue and Diego says that he needs music, thus they decide to break into a mall. A mall. In a "friendlier neighborhood". Because apparently the ghetto doesn't have any book or music stores which would probably be easier to break into. And somehow the two are able to break into this fancy mall by going in through the roof hatch, which is all that's locked up. The other stores are apparently wide open and burglar alarm-free. Ugh. Bree, it's implied, is reading through the entire books selections and is up to the Hs. How sweet, she's literary! Of course that makes her a well-rounded and intelligent person!

Diego, meanwhile, is looking into CDs and I have to agree with das_mervin  and say "GET WITH THE TIMES!" I mean, I'm fairly certain that there are still CD stores around, but wouldn't it be easier and a lot more convenient for Diego to just steal an MP3 player and get Limewire for his music? It's a lot less stuff to keep track of and Limewire's free. And don't try to tell me that he doesn't have a computer, because if Raoul can have a gaming system, I find it impossible to believe that there isn't a stolen computer or laptop with them.

So Bree sits down with Diego and we get mention of how this seems sort of familiar to her. Does this remind her of a happier human experience, in which she went out with some friends, maybe? Ha, don't be ridiculous! This is just a weak introduction to how she sat down with Riley, pre-vampiring. And to cover her butt, Meyer tacks on the usual "it's blurry and I can't remember it well" thing, even though memories conveniently necessary to the plot come rather easily.

Diego asks Bree why he's never seen her around the vampire house before. Um, maybe it's because there's a lot of noisy, violent vampires in there and you weren't looking for her? No, it's because Bree likes to hide behind this Freaky Fred dude. There's some waffling about as Diego looks disgusted and asks how she can stand hanging around him and she replies that "it's not so bad behind him as it is in front". Ummmm...that's what she said? Anyway, Diego is still grossed out, but agrees that hiding behind Fred is a good idea, since people avoid him like the plague. It also seems that Fred is one of Riley's favorites and Bree is all amazed by this because "[n]o one could stand Freaky Fred. I was the only one who tried, and that was solely out of self-preservation". So this guy lets her hide behind him and is basically the only reason she hasn't been torn to pieces and burned and her first thought on him is that he sucks and no one likes him and she only attempts to like him because he's her ticket to safety. What a wonderful role model! That's right kids, only make an effort to like someone if they can give you something you want!

Anyway, Diego leans forward (which Bree finds really weird for some reason) and tells her how he overheard Riley on the phone with "her". Of course, We Who Have More Than Two Brain Cells know that "her" is Victoria, but Meyer continues to milk this for tension or something. I don't know. Diego explains that some vampires have extra powers and that Victoria is looking for "[v]ampires with skillzzz". *stares* What. Bree then explains that "[h]e pulled the Z sound out, so I could hear how he was spelling it in his head". Yes, thank you Meyer, I know how it's spelled because you spelled it that way for us! If you write it out for us, then you don't have to have your narrator tell us how it's spelled! Seriously!

Bree asks what sorts of powers and Diego lists a few, including mind reading and seeing the future, because we must show off how fantastic the Cullens are, even when they're not here. Fred's power, it seems, is to make people feel revolted and thus stay away from him.

*stares*

*gigglesnort*

Um, Meyer? Bad hygiene isn't a super power. Or did you write that bit after you did your husband's laundry?

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ZeldaQueen: And by God this is stupid, so I need to stop here. Tune in next time, to find out about more contrived vampire powers!

Onward to: Part 3

Back To: Part 1

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

The car crash thing was retarded! The police does investigate accidents, burned or not, and they will notice all the inconsistencies with the crash. Plus most crashes don't end with the car on fire and I don't think they came up with a reason as to why it caught on fire.

I don't mind the Cd thing. Some people like to have them like that because of the art and have stereos. What I mind is the H thing with Bree. Only way I can picture an H section is by them being at a major store like Wallmart. Bookstores are a little more complicated than the H section. Of what?! plus it shows she's neither picky or curious. She takes whatever. And I doubt a major store will have a very good collection of books. They usually store whatever's popular, regardless of genre, by letter.

Still, Freaky Fred is the only decent thing about the novella if you ask me. I like Freddy and the fact he has a brain. (Well, that and the fact that Diego is gay and Bree's too stupid to notice. Don't anybody dare to contradict me. I got canon proof XD)

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

The only reason the car thing worked out for them at all is because Meyer somehow made the entire human race completely retarded. I mean, I know that they're not supposed to know about vampires, but they still ought to be more alert! At least in the Harry Potter series, it was implied that the Muggles chalked most of the magical attacks as freak storms and accidents since there was no other way to see it.

Yeah, the only thing about the CDs that bothered me was that it just is kind of impractical for their lifestyle. CDs are fragile, they break easily, and you have to keep track of a lot of them. But hey, it's up to him.

I suspect that Meyer got "major bookstore" confused with "library" on this one. -_- I could see how reading through an entire store of stuff could be an interesting character trait. For example, one of the original ideas for the movie Groundhog Day was that Phil would read one page a day from the town's library, and the huge number of books he completed showed how long he'd been repeating that day. So if Meyer was clever, she could somehow use it to show Bree being bored or desperate for escapism or something similar. But we only get this as a passing thing and, like you said, we never hear what she actually likes. Maybe Meyer has no idea what a "ghetto" girl would stereotypically read. XP

Word on that, Freaky Fred is my only favorite character in this. ^_^ And I read your posts, I won't contradict you on that. XD

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

I agree. While people won't go around shouting vampire, they're bound to notice a lot of weird things going around. And seeing how they are going around abusing their powers I'm sure people have started to notice.

That is true. But tvs and game consoles are also fragile so I guess he doesn't mind. Plus he couldn't help himself when he saw the John Barrowman compilation CD. Heaven knows I wouldn't be able to resist. XD

I know people "from the ghetto". My stepfather grew up in one of the most dangerous ones in my country and one of my friends live in that same place. He studied accounting and she law. People read what they like. Although if I went for stereotypical I would say mindless drivel like Twilight.

(I do have to laugh at Meyer's attempt at a "dangerous ghetto". She has no idea what it really is like at all.)

(Hey, how do you link back to people in LJ. I tried linking to you in my spork and failed miserably XD)

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I know people read what they like, but Meyer is so freaking stereotypical that I'm sure it would never enter her head. If her sensibilities would allow it, she'd probably all have them going for porn. =_=

I think Captain Planet hit home closer to "dangerous ghetto" than she did. I'm reminded of a Chick Tract in which a room full of college students are mocking the fundamentalist and their big insult is "crazy, man!".

Link back to the actual post, or link to a person's profile? To link to the profile, type in the name, highlight it, and click on the button to the left of the "Insert Picture" button (it looks like a chain across a person).

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

So true. I think the main problem is that Meyer doesn't go out her way to experience things. Now, maybe going to a dangerous ghetto might seem dangerous (and as somebody who got stuck on a shoot out once, I get that) but she could read memories and ethnographies about it or interview people who live in places like that. That's what bugs me about her, all those resources and she can't be more accurate?

Thank you. I'll try it out next time and see if I don't fail. XD

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Nonsense. Meyer, do actual research? The very idea! :P

Best of luck with that. XD I remember the first time I used it, my messages were chewed up and spat back out. O_o I think Lifejournal was being snitty...

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

Yes, what a terrible suggestion. I should be ashamed of myself for even suggesting a writer makes the effort to improve the text.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

I don’t know if Bree referring to Victoria as “Her” was supposed to create tension, but either way, it’s stupid. First of all, we already know that Victoria is the one behind all of this because we read “Eclipse.” Where exactly is the suspense? Second of all, Meyer is ticking me off again because this nonsense of calling Victoria “Her” reminds me of Bella and the Cullens’ irritating tendency of referring to Victoria as “the female” in the first book. Once again, Meyer manages to dehumanize and belittle one of the very few strong female characters in her books. Heaven forbid she allow Victoria to have some dignity before dying. And don’t get me started on Victoria’s “childish, whiny” voice that she suddenly and inexplicably has in this novella.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I'll be ranting about Victoria's voice when that comes up. Jesus H. Christ, what was up with that? I'm with Cleolinda, if I didn't know it was Victoria, I might have just confused it with Jane.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Oh, I love Cleolinda’s recaps, of both the books and the movies! She's created so many "Twilight" Internet memes; it's crazy.

[carmyn]

Well, comparing Rosalie's situation to the basically mass murder those two idiots created is a bit difficult. If Meyer had a brain (which she doesn't) with Rosalie she could have pull the 'Bystander Effect'. It's a real situation where someone will be in danger, and no one calls for help or find out what is going on, either out of fear or thinking someone else will do it. It happened near where I lived a several years ago where a girl was murdered in a residental area at 6am and no one called for help. It happens and that area where she was killed was pretty wealthy too. But that only works when there is one person being attacked, Bree's situation probably has 5-20 people. Don't think so, thats a mass murder. No points to you, Meyer.

:D Yay! BC Foot Mystery! I remember that. I think they came from people who died in a plane crash in the Strait. Meyer, that was HUGE international news, and happened LONG before you thought of this shit. You can't tell me you never heard if it, unless you live under a rock...wait. You basically do. Carry on.

Last thing Meyer. Consistancy and research are your friends. Love them.

I realized something. I can't remember if Bella's psudo-newspaper article mentioned The Green River Killer (I try to forget Eclipse). That did happen in Seattle, and it was huge, and would have set the precedent in Seattle for serial killings. Everyone afterwards would be compared to him. And maybe Pickton, but I may be stretching that since I don't know when the hell this takes place. But Green River Killer, most definately.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I know, it's just that in both cases, everyone indoors appears to have mysteriously gone deaf. The Bystander Effect could explain Rosalie's case, but given Meyer's level of research, I kind of doubt it.

^_^ Yep, nothing like a strange, unsolved mystery to add some fun!

The Green River Killer? *Wikipedias* That happened in 2001, so it should have happened by this story's continuity, several years prior. In which case, it makes it even MORE likely that there ought to be police out the wazoo. I don't care how fast and perfect these vampires are, there ought to be more police and stuff going around!

[carmyn]

-.- Damn Meyer, you suck so bad, even when readers come up with explainations for your shit, we automatically shoot it down because you are so stupid.

Nonetheless, that thing was HUGE. I can't believe that Meyer maybe put two...oh who am I kidding? Never mind, wishful thinking.

Yes, the Green River Killer, aka Gary Ridgeway. He actually started in the early-mid 1980s killing prositiues from Seattle and was finally CAUGHT in 2001. So, no matter how Meyer puts it, one of two things should happen:
A) There would be a large police presence in the prositiues run areas to catch him, if it's pre-2001. And they may be mistaken for 'The Green River Killer', so that is who the papers would be calling them, since the media is like that.
B) Everyone would be talking and comparing this to Gary Ridgeway because he is the big famous serial killer in Seattle. If this is Post-2001.
Either way, he would be mentioned, some way, some how. Even if it is the sparklepires laughing about him taking the blame.
So, you fail so hard Meyer. Ted Bundy freaking worked on this case. This guy raped the corpses. EVERY FREAKING ONE IN THE NORTHWEST KNOWS ABOUT GARY RIDGEWAY!!!! FAIL BEYOND BELIEF.

And with the Ghetto, if the Downtown Eastside in Vancouver is crawling with cops, then every ghetto in every major city (including Seattle, may I remind you of GARY FREAKING RIDGEWAY?) would be crawling with cops. The VPD actually get to know all of the hookers and drug addicts down there, and they would know if someone was missing. Ghettos are more tight-knit then you know. Even with Pickton, who killed about 50 women (he's the pig serial killer btw)(...allegedly >.>), even then people were going 'wtf? why are so many whores going missing?'
Yes, I know my serial killers :D. I watch way to much real crime shows.

So Meyer, fail on you and stop making the Northwest look like we are a bunch of stupid, deaf, and possibly blind hicks. *seethes*

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

"Ghettos are more tight-knit then you know."

That is very true. Back at my step father's ghetto where he grew up everyone knows who he was and vice versa. A big chunk of his family lived there. It was interesting to read ethnographers write how they work as their own little society.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I believe that the series was supposed to take place in 2005 or so, so yeah TOTAL FREAKING FAIL, MEYER!

"So Meyer, fail on you and stop making the Northwest look like we are a bunch of stupid, deaf, and possibly blind hicks. *seethes*"

Don't feel too bad, she seems determined to paint the entire human race that way. You guys aren't being singled out. =__=

[carmyn]

She can still bite my pale ass. At least I don't have to use a filter to drink water from my tap :D. And I live in what is considered one of the most beautiful places in the world, for good reason. Plus, my trees helped build her house, and like the Pacific Salmon? Or maybe the Crab? Came from MY waters. And don't you live in Arizona? Your stealing my electricity, bitch.

I just don't like how she portrayed the Pacific Northwest in her books. We should take her electricity and all the wood in her house until she apologizes. :D :D :D :D.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Go right ahead. :) I live in Pittsburgh, which can get plenty rainy and cloudy, and constantly want to shake her and go "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP? WEATHER IS NOT THAT RIDICULOUS!"

[southerngaelic.livejournal.com]

I had forgotten about the Netspeak.

I shall proceed to do so once more.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Best of luck with that! :)

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

THIS is Seattle? THIS?? People in Seattle AREN'T numbskulls!!! There's HARDLY any accidents that could possibly cause cars to crunch up together and explode!!!! If anything of that sort happened, there would be MASS PANIC and the area would be swarmed by police within moments!!! Just what kind of run-down ghetto full of hobos does Meyer think Seattle is?? *RAEG*

This kind of thing would NEVER go unnoticed. I have friends from church who would often go on evangelistic missions to shady areas and red light districts. I know that when bad stuff happen in those shady areas, even if the police are somehow stupid enough to not realize anything and I highly doubt they would be THAT clueless, at least the church would know and get help.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yeah, really sorry about that. Meyer apparently thinks the entire human race is blind, deaf, and dumb as rocks. Apparently she also thinks that countless tourists can go missing in Volterra and no one is the wiser.

[overlordmikey.livejournal.com]

Aw, can't you just feel the love?

Mikey[singing]: Psychopaths in love~ They are Psychopaths in love~ Lacking empathy they just blow shit up~ Psychopaths in love~

I should write music for a living!


So apparently a fucking explosion in the streets isn't enough to get their attention.

Mikey: Perhaps the police are corrupt? All of them- everywhere- corrupt and dangerously apathetic to the pain and suffering of others…
Is it just me or is almost everyone in Meyer’s world a freakin’ Psychopath?

-

You know I’m gonna think back to the first chapter:
Now I know Pimps aren’t a good thing, but your telling me none of these pimps had friends? Family? Someone who loves them? Same with their prostitutes! Nobody?

I know that they are picking of the “scum” if you will, but very few people have NOBODY who cares about them in someway. Meyer’s acts like “your job/position-in-society is questionable/immoral/wrong/ect. Thus NOBODY loved you and your life has no value. Um Meyer’s all life has value, no matter how scummy they may be, how ugly they may be, ect.

The homeless thing really pissed me off. Apparently the homeless are on the same level as pimps, whores, drug-addicts, and prostitutes. Ignoring what could cause someone to turn to drugs, pimping, or prostitution for a moment- MEYER’S is comparing HOMELESSNESS TO THESE THINGS!

Homelessness is a tragedy they effects many men and women. Very few; if any, of them deserve to be homeless (although in the case of men they are often treated like they deserve it due to a double standard that is neither here nor there). The fact that you would put them on the same level as - as those things is just unforgivable!

Rant starting/ You can keep you psychopathic Mary-sue sparkling shit brained things you call vampires you pompous bitch because you know what - each and everyone of them is a self insert of you! Heartless, selfish, soulless bastards and bitches who look down on everyone who isn’t just as sparkling and “perfect” as themselves! They aren’t character they are just your fantasy of a “perfect” race of likeminded monsters that think just like you! Go to hell you bitch! Also you’re a prat , because I like that word! /Rant over

I feel better Hee-hee~

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Is it just me or is almost everyone in Meyer’s world a freakin’ Psychopath?"

Either a psychopath or conveniently a total idiot.

Meyer's idea of homelessness is annoying because it's like Mervin said - the woman is so sheltered and not-worldly that she pretty much seems to crib off of what she sees on TV.

I know I keep comparing this series to Twilight, but Cirque Du Freak actually handled homelessness in a vampire story and did it well. In it, the homeless people actually took a stand against the vampaneze (the vampires that preyed on them) and protected the town and their community.

And I like the word "prat" as well. XD

[kestrad.livejournal.com]

I know this is way late, but I'm slowly making my way through your spork archive! Your comments are absolutely hilarious and spot on, but I just wanted to point out that bad neighborhoods often tend to have *fewer* police patrols, which is part of a vicious cycle that only makes it worse. I don't know if that holds true for all places in the US, but more affluent neighborhoods generally mean that police are more willing to patrol the area, and because of this wealthier people are more likely to move in. The opposite happens for poorer districts. So I can kind of buy that there wouldn't be any police cruisers around when things start, but it's still exceedingly dumb that no one at all reacted after that car flip.

As for all the super screwed up portrayals of "the dregs," I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Thank you very much! :D

Yeah, it's something that could have been explained away, but passed beyond that point because of Meyer's stupidity. As Mervin pointed out, the level of destruction in the town ought to have resulted in national attention. In her effort to show off how awesome and destructive her vampires are, Meyer took it well beyond any handwaveable territory.

And yeah. -_- I don't blame you.