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zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Well, ladies and gentlemen, if I had a nickle for every time someone complained about the Deathly Hallows epilogue, I'd...well I'd be a rich woman, that's for certain. And about eighty percent of the time, people use the epilogue as a reason to whine about how mean Rowling is, how she only put it there just to spoil the fun of shippers who wanted to continue to remain delusional about who Harry ended up with (I've heard much the same argument about her putting pictures of girls in Sirius's room). I've maintained the viewpoint that it's hardly like these shippers let things like canon get in their way and sure enough, writers do manage to find ways to "fix" things up. And lo, one such writer - DisobedienceWriter - has brought us this piece of work. It's got Ginny-hate aplenty as well as an extraordinarily nasty and dark Harry. So without further ado, let us begin!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 1: Even The Hardest Stones Crumble (Part 1)
A/N: The Deathly Hallows Epilogue was truly unsatisfying. Here's the rest of the story that begins about two years after the DH Epilogue.
ZeldaQueen: Yep, it's one of those fanfics. And "the rest of the story"? DW, you do know that this isn't canon, right?
Not for Ginny enthusiasts.
ZeldaQueen: Trust me folks, that there is a massive understatement.
Character Deaths. Time Travel. Avenging!Harry.
ZeldaQueen: Is that like an avenging angel?
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Chapter 1: Even the Hardest Stones Crumble
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
July 31, 2018
ZeldaQueen: Technically that's only one year, but meh.
Harry Potter was enjoying his Sunday morning. He had just turned thirty-eight years old. He had three wonderful children and a wife he loved. He had a quiet morning planned before the boisterous party occurred in the afternoon and early evening.
ZeldaQueen: Aw, isn't this sweet? Just seems like nothing will go wrong, eh?
His wife loved birthday parties…even for her 'oldest child,' Harry.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, what? Is DW implying that Ginny has some bizarre mother-son thing going for her husband?
"Speak of the devil…" Harry murmured when Ginny came into Harry's study with a plate full of something that smelled good.
ZeldaQueen: "Speak of the devil"? Oh I see what you did thar!
"I baked it fresh this morning…"
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "Hippogriff droppings. Yum, yum!"
"It smells lovely, but isn't it a touch early for birthday cake?"
ZeldaQueen: Hey, it's never to early for any sort of cake!
Ginny gave an odd sort of laugh. "It's coffee cake, silly. Blueberry and cinnamon. Found the recipe in one of mum's old books."
Harry lit up in a smile. "I always did love Molly's cooking." Harry pulled the plate from his wife's hand and took a bite.
ZeldaQueen: Wah? He bit her hand?
Ginny looked at her husband as he chewed.
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "Um Harry? Do you think maybe you could chew with your mouth closed? It's just that the crumbs get everywhere and I just cleaned..."
"We'll have chocolate cake for pudding after dinner…"
"Brilliant."
Ginny walked out of the room and Harry quickly spat out the disgusting coffee cake. It had smelled so promising, too. He loved Ginny, he really did, but she surely hadn't inherited her mother's talent for cooking and baking.
ZeldaQueen: See this? That's the author showing us that Harry really does love Ginny! Of course! It's not his fault what's going to happen!
"I hope she got the elves to bake the birthday cake," Harry muttered.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, after years of Hermione crusading for House Elf rights, after his friendship with Dobby and Kreacher, Harry would keep House Elves. And yes, I know he has Kreacher. Note the plural though.
The cake had certainly not been very sweet and had a rather unpleasant, even metallic taste to it. Par for the course. Ginny managed to screw up nearly every kind of baked good. The kitchen was usually the domain of the elves or Harry. The lessons he had learned the hard way at the hands and fists of the Dursleys were ones he still practiced.
ZeldaQueen: See? Ginny sucks! And her food isn't sweet! See what the author did thar?
Harry did try to ensure his children had some skill in the kitchen. He had taught all three of his children some basic cooking skills… He smiled thinking about his little brood. He loved each of his children: his Gryffindor James, his Ravenclaw Albus, and his Hufflepuff Lily. Each was a perfect person, flaws and all. James smiled thinking of the time the three of them had last pranked him: a hair growth potion did have quite a few possible uses, didn't it?
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, Saint Harry is rhapsodizing about his kids. Not that I don't think canon Harry didn't love his children but c'mon, "you'll share a room with Al when I want the house demolished" and the above musings don't quite mesh. And "James smiled"? Shouldn't that be Harry?
He'd wanted a larger family, but Ginny hadn't become pregnant again. Such is Potter-style luck.
ZeldaQueen: Ginny sucks, don't you know? Shame on her for not being able to get pregnant. Potter-style luck? What? I wasn't aware that the Potter family before them had trouble having children. And three children is hardly a small family.
He contented himself with three beautiful children&hellip
The thought stopped in his head as he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
ZeldaQueen: Huh. Harry must have been reading this fic with me.
He was also in severe pain which just added to his wave of nausea.
He stumbled to his feet. "Ginny," he called out.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "Fetch me the Gas-X and clear out the bathroom! I think I'm going to be awhile!"
He made it downstairs before he was doubled over in pain. Then he came across the dining room. His children…his beautiful children…were all seated, slumped forward, but none of them were breathing.
ZeldaQueen: So wait, Harry is able to stumble around while in pain but his kids just sat nicely at the table while they died?
"Help! Ginny, help."
Harry slumped against the table. His hand was out feeling for Albus' pulse. Nothing. James had none. Little Lily…oh, god. She was dead as well.
ZeldaQueen: You know, when people aren't breathing, they usually are considered dead. And again, Harry is dying and has time to check for pulses?
"Ginny!"
Finally Harry saw his wife saunter slowly from the kitchen.
"You're still moving, Harry? I wouldn't have expected that with the dose I gave you…"
ZeldaQueen: Ginny's EEEVILLLL!!!
"You? You killed my children?"
ZeldaQueen: Erm, unless this is an M-Preg fanfic, I believe they're Ginny's kids too...
Ginny laughed. "You think I wanted to be a brood mare for your messy haired children? I had a career before I married you, Harry, now I can go back to Quidditch and have the Potter fortune and fame to my name. The sad widow. Because of the stupid Potter entailment rules, I just had to wait for the last child to reach age 12 before I enacted my little plan. Otherwise I'd have done this years earlier, you foolish –"
ZeldaQueen: Holy heck, the author doesn't waste time getting to business! And I don't buy this. Nope. If Ginny didn't want to have children, she would have told Harry from the beginning. And Harry would never have forced her. Even if he did, for some reason, she would have left him, not gone to an elaborate plot to murder all of them. That's not to mention the fact that Ginny still does have a career after she's married with kids!
Not to mention that the entire plan is just stupid. So Harry and his three children mysteriously drop dead from poisoning and Ginny is the only one left, with no one to blame the deaths on. Yeah, realllll smart there. Even if she wasn't arrested, she'd probably fall under a lot of stigmata, especially when everyone finds out that she conveniently gets a lot of money afterward. Look at how many people hate Courtney Love, for crying out loud!
As for the "Potter entailment rules", what? Okay, so how does that work? The widow can only inherit her husband's money when the kids are a certain age? Well why twelve? What significance does that have? And why would the money only pass to her if they were older? If the rest of the Potter family was dead, where else would the fortune go? It's not really like Harry's got some distant cousin who'd inherit it.
Add in the fact that it's pretty much lifted from any soap opera and I'd like to say "fail"
At that, Harry wandlessly broke his wife's neck.
ZeldaQueen: . . .
Well that was decisive of him
He was crying in pain and grief for his children, but he'd never shed a tear for that woman. If he survived this, he would pay to have her soul excised by a necromancer. All remnants of her life and soul should be removed from the world.
He summoned his wand from his study and began sending Patronus messaging spells out as fast as he could manage. He called for the Potter elves for help. He then clutched his nearest child, poor little Albus, as he succumbed to the darkness.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I don't seem to recall him showing this level of hatred for Voldemort, the guy who killed Harry's parents. And I love how Harry's dying of poison and was still able to muster the strength to snap Ginny's neck and muse over how much he suddenly hates her, without any regret or confusion as to why she did what she did.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
August 3, 2018
Harry woke up in St. Mungo's three days after his children died – and he executed his wife for familial betrayal (which the purebloods of old had put and kept on the books as a crime).
ZeldaQueen: Oh, he executed her. Yes, DW, dress it up as nice as you want. He murdered Ginny. And what's that about the purebloods of old? I don't understand. Is it supposed to be that Harry is justified in murdering his wife like that? Sounds an awful lot like stoning one's adulterous wife to death because the Bible puts down that you should (apologies if I got the reference wrong).
Harry was visited by his Healers first, but he couldn't even ask about his own condition.
"Did my children suffer?"
ZeldaQueen: Don't worry Harry, they escaped from this fic as fast as possible. They're all the happier for it.
Healer Magnusson tried to shake his head, but he ended up shrugging.
ZeldaQueen: That must have looked strange.
"They each consumed the cake, where you only had some in your mouth before spitting it out. I'd suspect the compound acted quickly…"
ZeldaQueen: What? How does that even work? I wasn't aware that if one doesn't digest poison, it still hurts you. And if the cake tasted so bad, I find it hard to believe that three kids would eat it instead of spitting it out also.
"What did she poison us with?"
"We're still trying to figure it out, Mr. Potter. The Aurors found the remainder of that vile concoction in the kitchen…"
"I don't care what it costs. Find out. I have to know how she destroyed my family…" Harry wasn't crying at this, but his voice was filled with emotion stronger than mere anger.
ZeldaQueen: HARRY-SMASH!
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Potter."
"Thank you." It was genuine, but the Healer left the room wondering if Harry would have preferred not surviving the poisoning.
ZeldaQueen: I agree. Better that he had escaped this fanfiction with Ginny and the kids.
Kingsley Shacklebolt and the leaders of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement were next.
"Harry," the Minister of Magic tried to begin.
ZeldaQueen: It's not that hard to say, Minister. First an "H" and then an "A"...
"I know why you're here. Bring me a pensieve and my wand and I'll show you…"
ZeldaQueen: For some reason, this brings me back to Aro and his porn touch.
One of the Auror Captains, Urdroot, already had the stone basin in his arms. Harry pulled the memory from his head and dropped it into the rune-carved receptacle.
ZeldaQueen: Please leave all memories that are not in use in the correct receptacle! We must keep our minds clear of pollution.
Several heads went inside and several heads came out minutes later with shock and revulsion writ large.
ZeldaQueen: *snorts at that sentence*
"I've known her for twenty years. I never would have thought…" Kingsley said.
ZeldaQueen: Neither would anyone, Kingsley. Out-Of-Character-itis can strike even the strongest of characters
"Check her corpse for the usual signs of Imperius or other mind control spells or potions," Harry said. "I don't think you'll find them. She seemed normal in my study – and then insane after my children were dead. She was an actress in the worst sense of the word. I don't think she's been right in the head for a long time, if ever."
ZeldaQueen: And nobody noticed that she suddenly went crazy at some point? I could possibly see Harry missing it, but surely Ginny and Hermione met at some point and I know Hermione would notice something was wrong.
"If ever". Oh yeah, because Ginny's been crazy her entire life. Suck it.
Kingsley tried to coax Harry into talking as one friend to another, but Harry bucked and weaved his way through every question. As Kingsley was leaving, Harry said one last thing. "I'll be back in the office in a few days, Minister, but I'll be turning in my resignation. I can't do this any more…"
"Heal for now, Harry. We'll talk more about that when you get out."
ZeldaQueen: (Kingsley) " - of this fanfic. It does wonders for you!"
Then, for his final act of his hellish day, he had three reporters summoned, along with another pensieve.
"I want the true story of what happened to be reported. My attorney, Lord Stanhope, is documenting this entire meeting. Here is my memory of what happened…"
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, Harry, the guy who pretty much hated the media, who was dragged through the mud and mocked by them, is going to use them now. And "Lord Stanhope"? Why not "Mister"?
The journalists came out of the experience even more traumatized than Harry would have expected.
ZeldaQueen: Please. That wouldn't even bother a Muggle reporter in this day and age. The media drinks that sort of stuff right up
"Let it be known that Ginny Weasley is forever banished from the House of Potter for familial betrayal. May the wraiths of hell hunt her down."
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me folks, let me laugh outrageously for a minute here.
HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Right. Because canon clearly shows that Harry was such a formal fellow and talked like an eighteenth-century aristocrat. Also, "the House of Potter"? What? Even if there was such a thing (which we never see any indicator of), there's one tiny little problem - Harry is not an upper-class, hoity-toity, twit of the year! Even if he belonged to a House, he wouldn't invoke its rules or pay attention to it! He's an ordinary guy! That's also why he wouldn't use the "purebloods of old" thing to justify murdering Ginny! If anything, Harry was almost completely soured towards old, pure-blood families. he'd never try to be like them.
It was only the oldest of the pureblood families that ever used post-mortem disownment, but Harry knew all of the laws and customs. For his old job as Head Auror, he'd had to know them all.
ZeldaQueen: And that makes it perfectly alright for him to use them.
He took a Dreamless Sleep and slept for twelve hours. No dreams meant no tears.
ZeldaQueen: Blaugh! So emo!
Onward to: Chapter 1: Even The Hardest Stones Crumble (Part 2)
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 1: Even The Hardest Stones Crumble (Part 1)
A/N: The Deathly Hallows Epilogue was truly unsatisfying. Here's the rest of the story that begins about two years after the DH Epilogue.
ZeldaQueen: Yep, it's one of those fanfics. And "the rest of the story"? DW, you do know that this isn't canon, right?
Not for Ginny enthusiasts.
ZeldaQueen: Trust me folks, that there is a massive understatement.
Character Deaths. Time Travel. Avenging!Harry.
ZeldaQueen: Is that like an avenging angel?
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Chapter 1: Even the Hardest Stones Crumble
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
July 31, 2018
ZeldaQueen: Technically that's only one year, but meh.
Harry Potter was enjoying his Sunday morning. He had just turned thirty-eight years old. He had three wonderful children and a wife he loved. He had a quiet morning planned before the boisterous party occurred in the afternoon and early evening.
ZeldaQueen: Aw, isn't this sweet? Just seems like nothing will go wrong, eh?
His wife loved birthday parties…even for her 'oldest child,' Harry.
ZeldaQueen: Erm, what? Is DW implying that Ginny has some bizarre mother-son thing going for her husband?
"Speak of the devil…" Harry murmured when Ginny came into Harry's study with a plate full of something that smelled good.
ZeldaQueen: "Speak of the devil"? Oh I see what you did thar!
"I baked it fresh this morning…"
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "Hippogriff droppings. Yum, yum!"
"It smells lovely, but isn't it a touch early for birthday cake?"
ZeldaQueen: Hey, it's never to early for any sort of cake!
Ginny gave an odd sort of laugh. "It's coffee cake, silly. Blueberry and cinnamon. Found the recipe in one of mum's old books."
Harry lit up in a smile. "I always did love Molly's cooking." Harry pulled the plate from his wife's hand and took a bite.
ZeldaQueen: Wah? He bit her hand?
Ginny looked at her husband as he chewed.
ZeldaQueen: (Ginny) "Um Harry? Do you think maybe you could chew with your mouth closed? It's just that the crumbs get everywhere and I just cleaned..."
"We'll have chocolate cake for pudding after dinner…"
"Brilliant."
Ginny walked out of the room and Harry quickly spat out the disgusting coffee cake. It had smelled so promising, too. He loved Ginny, he really did, but she surely hadn't inherited her mother's talent for cooking and baking.
ZeldaQueen: See this? That's the author showing us that Harry really does love Ginny! Of course! It's not his fault what's going to happen!
"I hope she got the elves to bake the birthday cake," Harry muttered.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, after years of Hermione crusading for House Elf rights, after his friendship with Dobby and Kreacher, Harry would keep House Elves. And yes, I know he has Kreacher. Note the plural though.
The cake had certainly not been very sweet and had a rather unpleasant, even metallic taste to it. Par for the course. Ginny managed to screw up nearly every kind of baked good. The kitchen was usually the domain of the elves or Harry. The lessons he had learned the hard way at the hands and fists of the Dursleys were ones he still practiced.
ZeldaQueen: See? Ginny sucks! And her food isn't sweet! See what the author did thar?
Harry did try to ensure his children had some skill in the kitchen. He had taught all three of his children some basic cooking skills… He smiled thinking about his little brood. He loved each of his children: his Gryffindor James, his Ravenclaw Albus, and his Hufflepuff Lily. Each was a perfect person, flaws and all. James smiled thinking of the time the three of them had last pranked him: a hair growth potion did have quite a few possible uses, didn't it?
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, Saint Harry is rhapsodizing about his kids. Not that I don't think canon Harry didn't love his children but c'mon, "you'll share a room with Al when I want the house demolished" and the above musings don't quite mesh. And "James smiled"? Shouldn't that be Harry?
He'd wanted a larger family, but Ginny hadn't become pregnant again. Such is Potter-style luck.
ZeldaQueen: Ginny sucks, don't you know? Shame on her for not being able to get pregnant. Potter-style luck? What? I wasn't aware that the Potter family before them had trouble having children. And three children is hardly a small family.
He contented himself with three beautiful children&hellip
The thought stopped in his head as he suddenly felt sick to his stomach.
ZeldaQueen: Huh. Harry must have been reading this fic with me.
He was also in severe pain which just added to his wave of nausea.
He stumbled to his feet. "Ginny," he called out.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "Fetch me the Gas-X and clear out the bathroom! I think I'm going to be awhile!"
He made it downstairs before he was doubled over in pain. Then he came across the dining room. His children…his beautiful children…were all seated, slumped forward, but none of them were breathing.
ZeldaQueen: So wait, Harry is able to stumble around while in pain but his kids just sat nicely at the table while they died?
"Help! Ginny, help."
Harry slumped against the table. His hand was out feeling for Albus' pulse. Nothing. James had none. Little Lily…oh, god. She was dead as well.
ZeldaQueen: You know, when people aren't breathing, they usually are considered dead. And again, Harry is dying and has time to check for pulses?
"Ginny!"
Finally Harry saw his wife saunter slowly from the kitchen.
"You're still moving, Harry? I wouldn't have expected that with the dose I gave you…"
ZeldaQueen: Ginny's EEEVILLLL!!!
"You? You killed my children?"
ZeldaQueen: Erm, unless this is an M-Preg fanfic, I believe they're Ginny's kids too...
Ginny laughed. "You think I wanted to be a brood mare for your messy haired children? I had a career before I married you, Harry, now I can go back to Quidditch and have the Potter fortune and fame to my name. The sad widow. Because of the stupid Potter entailment rules, I just had to wait for the last child to reach age 12 before I enacted my little plan. Otherwise I'd have done this years earlier, you foolish –"
ZeldaQueen: Holy heck, the author doesn't waste time getting to business! And I don't buy this. Nope. If Ginny didn't want to have children, she would have told Harry from the beginning. And Harry would never have forced her. Even if he did, for some reason, she would have left him, not gone to an elaborate plot to murder all of them. That's not to mention the fact that Ginny still does have a career after she's married with kids!
Not to mention that the entire plan is just stupid. So Harry and his three children mysteriously drop dead from poisoning and Ginny is the only one left, with no one to blame the deaths on. Yeah, realllll smart there. Even if she wasn't arrested, she'd probably fall under a lot of stigmata, especially when everyone finds out that she conveniently gets a lot of money afterward. Look at how many people hate Courtney Love, for crying out loud!
As for the "Potter entailment rules", what? Okay, so how does that work? The widow can only inherit her husband's money when the kids are a certain age? Well why twelve? What significance does that have? And why would the money only pass to her if they were older? If the rest of the Potter family was dead, where else would the fortune go? It's not really like Harry's got some distant cousin who'd inherit it.
Add in the fact that it's pretty much lifted from any soap opera and I'd like to say "fail"
At that, Harry wandlessly broke his wife's neck.
ZeldaQueen: . . .
Well that was decisive of him
He was crying in pain and grief for his children, but he'd never shed a tear for that woman. If he survived this, he would pay to have her soul excised by a necromancer. All remnants of her life and soul should be removed from the world.
He summoned his wand from his study and began sending Patronus messaging spells out as fast as he could manage. He called for the Potter elves for help. He then clutched his nearest child, poor little Albus, as he succumbed to the darkness.
ZeldaQueen: You know, I don't seem to recall him showing this level of hatred for Voldemort, the guy who killed Harry's parents. And I love how Harry's dying of poison and was still able to muster the strength to snap Ginny's neck and muse over how much he suddenly hates her, without any regret or confusion as to why she did what she did.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X
August 3, 2018
Harry woke up in St. Mungo's three days after his children died – and he executed his wife for familial betrayal (which the purebloods of old had put and kept on the books as a crime).
ZeldaQueen: Oh, he executed her. Yes, DW, dress it up as nice as you want. He murdered Ginny. And what's that about the purebloods of old? I don't understand. Is it supposed to be that Harry is justified in murdering his wife like that? Sounds an awful lot like stoning one's adulterous wife to death because the Bible puts down that you should (apologies if I got the reference wrong).
Harry was visited by his Healers first, but he couldn't even ask about his own condition.
"Did my children suffer?"
ZeldaQueen: Don't worry Harry, they escaped from this fic as fast as possible. They're all the happier for it.
Healer Magnusson tried to shake his head, but he ended up shrugging.
ZeldaQueen: That must have looked strange.
"They each consumed the cake, where you only had some in your mouth before spitting it out. I'd suspect the compound acted quickly…"
ZeldaQueen: What? How does that even work? I wasn't aware that if one doesn't digest poison, it still hurts you. And if the cake tasted so bad, I find it hard to believe that three kids would eat it instead of spitting it out also.
"What did she poison us with?"
"We're still trying to figure it out, Mr. Potter. The Aurors found the remainder of that vile concoction in the kitchen…"
"I don't care what it costs. Find out. I have to know how she destroyed my family…" Harry wasn't crying at this, but his voice was filled with emotion stronger than mere anger.
ZeldaQueen: HARRY-SMASH!
"I'm very sorry, Mr. Potter."
"Thank you." It was genuine, but the Healer left the room wondering if Harry would have preferred not surviving the poisoning.
ZeldaQueen: I agree. Better that he had escaped this fanfiction with Ginny and the kids.
Kingsley Shacklebolt and the leaders of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement were next.
"Harry," the Minister of Magic tried to begin.
ZeldaQueen: It's not that hard to say, Minister. First an "H" and then an "A"...
"I know why you're here. Bring me a pensieve and my wand and I'll show you…"
ZeldaQueen: For some reason, this brings me back to Aro and his porn touch.
One of the Auror Captains, Urdroot, already had the stone basin in his arms. Harry pulled the memory from his head and dropped it into the rune-carved receptacle.
ZeldaQueen: Please leave all memories that are not in use in the correct receptacle! We must keep our minds clear of pollution.
Several heads went inside and several heads came out minutes later with shock and revulsion writ large.
ZeldaQueen: *snorts at that sentence*
"I've known her for twenty years. I never would have thought…" Kingsley said.
ZeldaQueen: Neither would anyone, Kingsley. Out-Of-Character-itis can strike even the strongest of characters
"Check her corpse for the usual signs of Imperius or other mind control spells or potions," Harry said. "I don't think you'll find them. She seemed normal in my study – and then insane after my children were dead. She was an actress in the worst sense of the word. I don't think she's been right in the head for a long time, if ever."
ZeldaQueen: And nobody noticed that she suddenly went crazy at some point? I could possibly see Harry missing it, but surely Ginny and Hermione met at some point and I know Hermione would notice something was wrong.
"If ever". Oh yeah, because Ginny's been crazy her entire life. Suck it.
Kingsley tried to coax Harry into talking as one friend to another, but Harry bucked and weaved his way through every question. As Kingsley was leaving, Harry said one last thing. "I'll be back in the office in a few days, Minister, but I'll be turning in my resignation. I can't do this any more…"
"Heal for now, Harry. We'll talk more about that when you get out."
ZeldaQueen: (Kingsley) " - of this fanfic. It does wonders for you!"
Then, for his final act of his hellish day, he had three reporters summoned, along with another pensieve.
"I want the true story of what happened to be reported. My attorney, Lord Stanhope, is documenting this entire meeting. Here is my memory of what happened…"
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, Harry, the guy who pretty much hated the media, who was dragged through the mud and mocked by them, is going to use them now. And "Lord Stanhope"? Why not "Mister"?
The journalists came out of the experience even more traumatized than Harry would have expected.
ZeldaQueen: Please. That wouldn't even bother a Muggle reporter in this day and age. The media drinks that sort of stuff right up
"Let it be known that Ginny Weasley is forever banished from the House of Potter for familial betrayal. May the wraiths of hell hunt her down."
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me folks, let me laugh outrageously for a minute here.
HA HA HA HA HA HA! HA HA HA! HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!
Right. Because canon clearly shows that Harry was such a formal fellow and talked like an eighteenth-century aristocrat. Also, "the House of Potter"? What? Even if there was such a thing (which we never see any indicator of), there's one tiny little problem - Harry is not an upper-class, hoity-toity, twit of the year! Even if he belonged to a House, he wouldn't invoke its rules or pay attention to it! He's an ordinary guy! That's also why he wouldn't use the "purebloods of old" thing to justify murdering Ginny! If anything, Harry was almost completely soured towards old, pure-blood families. he'd never try to be like them.
It was only the oldest of the pureblood families that ever used post-mortem disownment, but Harry knew all of the laws and customs. For his old job as Head Auror, he'd had to know them all.
ZeldaQueen: And that makes it perfectly alright for him to use them.
He took a Dreamless Sleep and slept for twelve hours. No dreams meant no tears.
ZeldaQueen: Blaugh! So emo!
Onward to: Chapter 1: Even The Hardest Stones Crumble (Part 2)
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 01:36 am (UTC)Ginny annoyed the crap out of me but she's not a vindictive bitch. Plus, to be fair, Harry, Hermione and Ron annoy me too. Luna, Neville, the twins and McGonagall were my favorite characters.
P.S. Just in case, I don't ship Harry/Hermione. I don't ship in HP, period. All the canon romances are either bland (Harry/Ginny), come out of nowhere for me to really care about (Tonks/Lupin. Seriously, just because it was a surprise doesn't mean I'll care, even if I like the individuals) or are people that annoy the crap out of me and they should not be together because all they know is how to argue when they are together and just bring the worst out of each other (Ron/Hermione).
That last one just annoys me further because my mother and stepfather started just like them and right now they are worst than before. They are bound to get divorced by the end of the year with things as they are right now. I come from the hospital just to deal with my siblings who are crying because mommy and daddy are fighting... again. Which is why I can't like bickering couples like those two because I don't feel like they changed enough to really be together.
And, just in case, I don't hate HP. I really like, not love, the first 6 books and the 7 one I give an ok.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 01:47 am (UTC)And I agree, Luna, Neville, and the twins were awesome. XD I also loved Molly Weasley. I once heard someone say that if they could take any character to Twilight canon, it'd be Mrs. Weasley because Bella could use a mother like her. The thought of Mrs. Weasley dealing with an annoying daughter like Bella makes me squirm with pleasure. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 02:22 am (UTC)Ron/Hermione gets no excuse from me because they are like that when its calm or not. They don't communicate in ways that make Ranma and Akane look like they talk all the time and I know its the writer's way of building sexual tension. Communication is a vital component for a couple. Nothing grates me as a couple that can't get together because they don't know how to express themselves. I've seen what happens to many times when you can't talk for me to like a couple like that.
When she sends birds his way I wanted to hit her over the head with a textbook. I have a bird in this house -- singular -- and it has flown to my face more than once attacking me and because of that I have a phobia of birds. Every time I hear the flutter of wings my heart raises and I freeze and I hide in my room when it is free. I know the terror that it is having a bird over you, and I know an old guy who lost an eye that way. It was not funny to me at all. Hermione has been pissed before, even punched Draco, but she had never done something so horrible to somebody else as far as I can remember. Ron has the power to pull the worst of her and vice versa at all moments.
And I was a teen, half my siblings are teens, and my friends have been teens and they don't get like that, not even my loud whiny 13 year old sis. Not all teens go around fighting with their "better half" all the time and the way they do. Problem is that J.K really doesn't know how to write romance. Yes, you have them bickering like 5 year olds and you want them together as mature youngster (or otherwise I point to my mother and stepfather), what do you have in the middle to bridge both events?
Now, to show that I actually see good things, here's 3 things I do admire about J.K:
Quidditch (spelling?) Lots of stories miss one important component in their worlds: sports! Things like diets, sports and music get overlooked or reduced to the cliche and mundane. This was a great piece of world building and it showed how magic really was a way of life.
Use of fairy tales and myths. Like the house elfs link back to several myths about elves that work for nothing and do get offended when paid. Not many use those types of myths.
Minor characters. Not many series can make me care for them and this one had a huge cast of likable minor characters. Many authors focus on the main character leaving everyone else as shells and tools for the main character to use.
See? Three of many. I don't hate the woman, fans. XD I just think the last book would be better off as two split books with a better set up for the hallows (honestly, erase the hallows and edit the book a bit, would they be missed with the whole horacrux deal, take Hogwarts back and beat Voldermont and the sidekicks?), romances needs better reasons beside we flirted once, and other things that I know are personal and semi-alone on my believes. XD
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 03:06 am (UTC)Well, matter of opinion, like I said. At least Rowling held off on the romance and didn't make it hole up the entire series. *cough*Twilight*cough*
Hey, I know. I'm cool with that. ^^;; It's like me with The Dark Knight, I liked some parts of it but other parts I thought could have been parred down (like about half of the car explosions XD). And yet if you tell some people that, you'll be chased down the road to the cries of "INFIDEL!" (My brother used to be one of them XD)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 07:21 am (UTC)I do kinda kave to agree with you guys regarding the romance. I was probably the only one of my friends who didn't see Harry/Ginny comming at all. I didn't get how Harry could go from "Ron's little sister" to "wow, boobz" with little on screen interaction. Then again, I wasn't looking much for romance and my favourite pairing is Mr. and Mrs. Weasley , the main established pair. And Fleur/Bill, but mostly because Fleur was pure win in the last bit of book 6.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 12:27 pm (UTC)To that I am thankful. I can't imagine J.K. writing a series driven by romance. (shudder) I would avoid that like the plague. But I do admit (aside from Hermione/Ron) her romances doesn't really bother me so much as bring feelings of apathy to mildly annoyance and that's ok because romance is not as important as many other things going on, but if it were the major thing going on I think I wouldn't have finished the series.
Lady when HP was the big thing I got my own little mob shouting infidel just because I was just "Ok" with it. I kid you not, all my friends from high school to college were into that series and I just didn't find it enough of my taste to like it.
But no! "How dare I not like it!" "Can you do better" and all that crap. Look, J.K. is a better writer than I am, sure, but that doesn't mean that as a reader I can't judge her. Not all cooking critics can cook, but that doesn't mean they can't taste. I can not like it if I want to!
Double goes with that 7 book, I could do a rant about that one! But, just as I did before, I'll point out 3 things I liked about it:
1) Kreacher was cool. He got good character development and I yelled yay when he showed up leading the house elf's rebellion. That was really nice of Rowling.
2) The call back to the first book with the vault. That's good foreshadowing.
3) Neville leading the rebellion and being awesome. It made me both super happy and miserable. Happy because Neville completes his cycle of awesomeness, I knew the kid had it in him, but it made me miserable and angry because I wanted that story. I wanted Neville Longbottom and the awesome rebellion at Hogwarts as my 7 book.
Honorary mention goes to Luna, but its already implied that she's the best.
To be honest I don't think I can do a list like that with Twilight. Let me see:
1) Leah. She's ok, aside from the menopause thing (WTF?! Meyer). She tries to get over Sam and have a life of her own.
2) ... ... ...
Yeah, I have nothing. The romance sucks, there's no real humor, characters are puppets in Meyer's hands, plot is almost non existent, HORRIBLE use of first person, research fail to levels I can't forgive, and too many "s/he's gorgeous". I can't even properly like the minors because we see them through Bella's filter and Bella's filter is treated as 100% accurate! (Which pisses me off in first person. You are not supposed to believe everything the first person narrator says because it might be a lie or the narrator may not have a clue about what's really going on.)
And I loved the DK but I can respect those who don't like it the same way that I do. Same thing for Kick-ass. I loved that movie because Hit-girl = awesomeness but some people didn't like it because Kick-ass becomes a secondary character when he's the main character and I can respect that too.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 12:35 pm (UTC)And yeah, this author does REALLY melodramatic fics about angsty Harry. They all involve extremely elaborate plans for revenge and leave you wondering "What?"
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 01:52 pm (UTC)"Which pisses me off in first person. You are not supposed to believe everything the first person narrator says because it might be a lie or the narrator may not have a clue about what's really going on."
Yeah, that's one thing that Meyer piddled away with Midnight Sun - it would have been the perfect opportunity to show some cases of Bella being an Unreliable Narrator with the story being told by someone else. But of course, Bella's right about everything (besides her constant "Oh of COURSE Edward doesn't love me"s, which I don't think a person alive believed).
I personally have learned not to talk about Lord of the Rings with some people, because they go "The book is better!" and get angry about how a subplot or character was cut. My best friend calls Galadriel a "Line-Stealing Hussy" because she took some of Celeborne's lines. I'm like "dude, there're all of three prominent women in the movie. Can you blame Jackson for giving them more stuff to do?"
I'm personally of the opinion that one should take what they can get from fandoms. If you like Twilight for being so terrible, that's fine. If you like The Dark Knight for Heath Ledger, that's cool.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 02:02 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 02:15 pm (UTC)...Just you wait until the end of this fic.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 02:45 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 03:39 pm (UTC)I know about Twilight! Meyer does find a way to ruin things further than I could expect. Not a good talent to have if I say so myself. And I can't really get why she does that. One of the things that make Eliza's story for me is when things fly over her head and I trick and surprise her. It makes her more real to me.
XD I haven't had that problem with LotR, but that's because I haven't even watched the movies so I can't judge.
And I'm all for loving something because it's so bad that it's fun. I love Rhapsody because of that. That game is so horrible that it makes me roll over with laughter. It brings out the MSTer in me. I can't play that game in silence at all!
Then you have fans like Cleolinda who I adore. Lulz fans are the best since they know that it's bad but enjoy it because it's fun. I mean, it was fans who brought us the beauty of Growing up Cullen.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 04:26 pm (UTC)As for Ron/Hermione, it was evident from miles away. It only bothered me because she had a far better candidate, Victor.
All the rest sounded pretty logical. Why are fans taking *teenage* crushes and their possible (or impossible) development so damn seriously? Oh, yeah, teenagers were reading the books and they do not want to be said that their decisions are not life-altering ones... meh.
As for this? I am generally against fanfiction bashing and sporking, because... well, it is fanfiction and if fanfiction is not a way for readers to blow off steam, then nothing is. That's what fanfiction is for *me*. I don't know if this is because I go to ff.net for reading, but that's my opinion. Besides, even some spitefics like Mervin's, no matter how brilliant and far better than the original, still serve this purpose.
This is just an extreme case. That brings out laughter. Which is the opposite of what it aimed to do, I'm sure.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 04:52 pm (UTC)I think the teenage crush thing bothered people partly because they all wound up married which probably seemed improbable. But here's the thing - the wizarding world had just had a war. People could now live long, happy lives without worrying about evil wizards murdering them. It makes sense that everyone would want to say "Screw it, let's get married!" and whatnot. After all, look at the Baby Boom.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 04:58 pm (UTC)True. Besides, this was not a romance story, it was aimed for male audience mostly (even though I personally believe it covers both sexes), who didn't want to see romance being SRS BZNS here. They got married, end of story.
And Rowling wrote the epilogue right after the FIRST book! Good lord, no one had seen that interview??
BTW, people complain for making Sirius having women pictures in his room? For real???
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 04:58 pm (UTC)I've only seen the movies. XD I tried to read the books, but I just couldn't figure out what was going on. I also saw the Ralph Bakshi version once, which I also had a dickens of a time figuring out (I recommend it for the silliness though - Samwise alone is hilarious with lines like "Oh my! Oh HO-raay!" *claps madly* Same with "Return of the King")
I think that that's the best reason to love something! :D Laughter is the best medicine, after all, and MSTing is fun for friends. XD
Cleolinda's great! I love her 15-minute movies and Twilight recaps. From what I've seen of GUC, that's also hilarious. ^_^
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 04:59 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 05:06 pm (UTC)1) They don't bicker, they fight. And they don't fight in normal argument they get to be horrible with each other in ways I never saw growing up... and my whole school was into pairing everybody out.
2) Yes, I knew they were going to get together because they are a Takahashi couple and they are my second least favorite type of couple (First goes to the "Will they or won't day." ) It's lazy and cliche and just makes me roll my eyes. As bland as every other couple in the books are they at least feel ok. But no, it's sexual tension as Ron makes Hermione feel bad on purpose and she sends birds his way.
3) I have seen just one couple like they are and I assure you they are not healthy nor happy. That is my mother and stepfather. Lately they have gotten worst and I wouldn't be surprised if they divorce. So having a real life version of this takes out the "Aaww, cute" that this couple could ever hope to hold.
So yeah, its evident because it's lazy, cliche and would be horrible in real life and it annoys me because I've seen better couples in fiction and in real life that even at that age you can have a couple that fights a normal amount and for understandable reasons, that communicates, and be cute together.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 05:13 pm (UTC)I don't know about their fights, really. I am completely tabula rasa, because I haven't thought about it at all and because it has been so much time since I read the books that I do not remember the details. (Mostly because I didn't give two cents about pairings in HP whatsoever. I think I enjoyed the books more like this.)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 05:14 pm (UTC)I'll take this as a yes...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 05:55 pm (UTC)And those two started fighting and separating and coming back together all the time. I used to call them the boomerang couple. So I have no taste nor tolerance for that in fiction (aside from the fact it's overused to the point I wonder if writers in general know there are other types of couples).
Anyway, I agree with shipping. I was in the avatar fandom and shipping wars were a huge deal to everybody in the forum except me. It really ruined the fun for lots of people. The end of the war is coming and all everybody care is who Katara would choose -_-;; not that it was an issue in the canon.
I like HP for lots of reasons: some are plot, characters, application of myths and world building among many others but romance fell flat in most cases (in my opinion at least). And being a more boy book is no excuse of that. If you bring an element you should be willing to execute it without restraints. Romance doesn't have to be the guy kissing the girls hand to her shoulder while saying "I love you. I love you. I love you" while dressed in french Renaissance dresses. (Cookies for those who get the reference XD)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 06:07 pm (UTC)Yep, they honestly complained about that. Something about Rowling only doing it to ruin slash fic writers' fun. Like that's ever stopped them. It can be found here: http://www.ferretbrain.com/articles/article-139
That same review says that DH "To say it's massively dissatisfying and frustrating is to do massively dissatisfying and frustrating things a great disservice" Erm...right...
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 06:16 pm (UTC)My personal theory on the three leads and romance is that all of them are socially screwed up in some way - Hermione and self esteem and security issues, which is why she's a huge bookworm. Ron is the youngest son and feels like he's always living in the shadows of his siblings and best friend. Harry spent most of his childhood alone and thus never got experiences with dating or romance. There's also the fact that it looks like none of them really have help (that is to say someone to go to for advice). So they all have to figure things out on their own, which probably only really comes across with Harry (since he's the one telling the story). Doesn't necessarily excuse anything, but it's interesting to think about.
Shipping can just get absolutely ridiculous. Like people who think that Frollo from Disney's Hunchback of Notre Dame should have gone with Esmeralda, or she should have picked Quasi. Either way, everyone hates the woman (Christine gets it too ^^; )
Actually, come to think of it, doesn't it seem like the female characters are the ones who get blamed in shipping, either for picking the wrong guy or for "stealing" another guy? What's up with that? O_o
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 06:22 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-05 06:56 pm (UTC)1) Dr.Cox and Jordan from Scrubs. These two fight all the time but they do it because they enjoy it. They have fun when they fight and so I have fun when they fight. But when things get serious they do talk and evolve as a couple. When Cox discovers who the father of Jack is she forces him to talk to her and when he wants to get married to her again he eventually gets her to talk to him. They even kiss and say "I love you" and its cute.
2) Don and Kathy from Singing in the rain. When they meet they are sniping at each other and acting passive agressive with each other. When they meet again he mocks her because she hurt him last time. But when they meet again he apologizes for being an ass and she apologizes for being a bitch. They talk and resolve their issue.
Thing is R/H doesn't give me the impression they have fun when they fight and they don't have the "Sorry for being an ass/bitch talk either. I don't remember really talking about it and after the bird thing I buried any ok I may have had with the couple. I know the terror of birds in your face and it is no joke matter. If she was willing to do that once in anger I can't imagine what else she might do. And age is no excuse for that. Would you excuse a somebody pushing you down the stairs in anger?
And the socially awkward thing doesn't fly with me in this couple. I'm friends with awkward people, lots of them bookworms and others frustrated in similar ways and some even more screwed up than "I'm the youngest". They don't behave this bad with their loved ones. Some fight, yes, but not to this miserable extent.
I just can't see this as anything other than the Takahashi couple cliche. To quote the Nostalgia Chick: "Oh, yes Animosity. It must be love!" Or the Evil Overlord list that says execute any couple that enter the kingdom fighting. If J.K felt like adding the fights she should have added the resolution.
As for shipping, yes I have noticed it's almost always the ladies fault. XD It really is messed up.
And Follo and Esmeralda ... eeww. Yes, he has good points, but he's a priest who tried to rape her and kills her. That brings out a lot of bad points.