Breaking Dawn: Chapter 32 - Company

[zelda_queen]

Projection Room Voices: We're terribly sorry, there seems to have been some sort of a mix-up. You have seven more chapters to spork after this one, not one. So sorry!

ZeldaQueen: What?!?

Projection Room Voices: Chapter thirty-two, in which Bella's Sue-powers are trained and we meet a lot of disposable characters"

ZeldaQueen: Brilliant. *grumbles*

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

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Chapter 32 - Company

ZeldaQueen: Well right off of the bat, Meyer seems determined to infuriate me. We hear about how crowded the Cullen household is with so many vampires in it and then we’re told about what these non-vegetarian vampires do for meals.

Mealtimes were dicey, though. Our company cooperated as best they could. They gave Forks and La Push a wide berth, only hunting out of state; Edward was a gracious host, lending out his cars as needed without so much as a wince. The compromise made me very uncomfortable, though I tried to tell myself that they'd all be hunting somewhere in the world, regardless.

Jacob was even more upset. The werewolves existed to prevent the loss of human life, and here was rampant murder being condoned barely outside the packs' borders. But under these circumstances, with Renesmee in acute danger, he kept his mouth shut and glared at the floor rather than the vampires.

ZeldaQueen: I just…I…Where to begin?

Let’s start with how casually the fact that people getting killed is handled. Wasn’t this what the evil vampires did in the previous books, which the Cullens were all supposedly against? Wasn’t it the Volturi eating the tourists that sealed exactly how Evil they were? Weren’t the vegetarian vampires held up as more civilized and overall good because they abstained from killing people for food? So what’s the difference here, that they’re not trying to nom Bella? Is the line for good and evil in this story “people who want to eat Bella and people who don’t”? Or would it be in this case “People who bend over backwards to protect the Death Baby and people who don’t”?

And what’s Bella’s reaction to all of this? “Oh well, it’s no one I know and they’d be killing other people. Oh well!” Did it ever enter her empty head that people move around? What if her dad decided to take a trip for whatever reason to some area outside of Forks? What if the hunting areas out of state are where her school “friends” are living? What if the vampires screw up and hunt inside of the state anyway?

And Edward provides the vampires with transportation. Meyer, these vampires could run there and back in a few minutes if they had to. If you really wanted to show Bella and Edward being conflicted, you should show them not making like easier for the vampires going to kill people. I don’t care if you feel the need to make your precious Eddy-kins look like a gracious host, it’s horrific and disgusting that he’s trying to make things more comfortable for the vampires that are going to FUCKING EAT PEOPLE!!! And of course Bella holds this all up as a sign of how great and glorious he is, like “Oh look at how wonderful my husband is! He’s so nice to our guests and doesn’t even wince at their murderous ways!”

You know, there’s a perfectly simple way to solve this issue. INSIST THAT YOUR GUESTS EAT ANIMALS!!!!!! PROVIDE THEM WITH THE BLOOD IN A BOTTLE IF THEY FIND ACTUALLY BITING A DEER TO BE THAT REPULSIVE! OR HAVE CARLISLE BUY BLOOD FOR THEM TO EAT LIKE HE WAS PLANNING ON DOING FOR BELLA! AND DON’T TELL ME THAT IT WOULD TAKE TOO MUCH BLOOD - THE CULLENS WERE PERFECTLY WILLING TO SHELL OUT HOWEVER MUCH BLOOD IT TOOK TO SATISFY THAT STUPID DEATH FETUS. ARE THEY REALLY SUCK FUCKERS THAT THEY’D BE UNWILLING TO DISH IT OUT TO KEEP PEOPLE IN THE AREA FROM DYING PAINFUL DEATHS???

And Jacob. Jacob. GOD-FREAKING-JACOB MY LORD I HATE IMPRINTING!!!! Let us look at his statement. For the past few books, his entire job - in fact, a huge portion of his life - has been to hunt down and kill vampires that are eating people. That was what his ancestors’ jobs were. The only reason the Cullens were left alone was because they didn’t eat people. Jacob is also an Alpha Wolf, meaning that he has even more responsibility over protecting humans than before. And here, now, we find out that he is clearly upset at this arrangement, but is turning a blind eye, not even speaking out or trying to find an alternative solution. Why?

Because Renesmee is in danger.

Let me repeat that - a lot of people will be dying nearby, because Renesmee is in danger. A baby who, as I pointed out, Jacob has no connections to besides that terrible imprinting. Meaning that in any other case, Jacob would be protesting this loss of human life or at least speaking out against it. But now he is not.

BECAUSE THE FUCKING DEATH BABY IS IN DANGER. SO IN A NUTSHELL, HE’S GOING TO LET AN UNDETERMINED BUT UNDOUBTEDLY LARGE NUMBER OF PEOPLE DIE SO HE CAN PROTECT HIS DARLING DEAREST. FANTASTIC!!!

Well Meyer, I’m sure that all will come as a wonderful comfort to the people who are being eaten and killed. Jake should just go along with Peter and Charlotte when they go out to eat and lean over the person as their blood is being drained and say “Sorry you have to die, I need these bloodthirsty killers around so that my infant girlfriend isn’t killed. Hope that makes you feel better!”

Lord knows that would make me feel a lot better about being brutally murdered and have my blood drained!

Well, you viewers want a sporking of the whole chapter and not two paragraphs, so I’ll just continue before I die of anger. Oh look at that! After those paragraphs, Bella completely skips over the whole “vampires are eating people in the area” bit! Who’s surprised? And even bigger shock - she jumps right to praising the visitors, going on about how surprised she is at how well they get along with Jacob. “They treated him the way people who are not animal-lovers treat the pets of their friends”

Bella, I already hate you and your husband and visitors your daughter and Jacob. Saying stuff like that isn’t going to change my mind. Where the heck is Leah? I miss her decency and common sense.

God damn it, Meyer got rid of Leah! Jacob sent all of his pack to stay with Sam for their own protection. And Meyer also continues to whack us over the head with Jacob’s imprinted love by telling us that the only reason he’s still around is because he is unable to stand to separating himself from the Demon Death Child.

Well where’s Emmett then? Carlisle? Please Meyer, please throw me a bone!

 Son of a - no Emmett either! Instead we get the Irish and Egyptian vampires that Carlisle sent over. The Irish vampire clan is led by his friend Siobhan (whose name was so inconspicuously dropped before), “a woman of immense presence whose huge body was both beautiful and mesmerizing as it moved in smooth undulations” (look, I don’t know either!). As you might recall from before, she has the Super-Planning Skills which of course don’t work right away since that would be too useful. There’s also her mate Liam (who is “hard-faced” and the newest coven member, Maggie (a little girl with “bouncing red curls”). As you may recall, Maggie was the coven member with a power - she can tell if someone is lying to her. Of course this verdict is never contested, so the Irish vampires believes the Cullens straight away (apparently half-truths don’t really register with them or anything). 



The Egyptian vampires are a little more difficult. With them, we get the elder couple - Amen and Kebi - and the younger couple, Benjamin and Tia. It turns out that while Benjamin and Tia are all perfectly willing to help out, Amen is cranky and doesn't want to help. Kebi doesn't really make any decisions and is pretty much a shallow love interest who does zip (seriously, Bella says that she "never strayed farther away from Amun than his shadow" and "never heard her speak a single word"). Amen only agrees to stay after Benjamin makes a few veiled threats to leave the coven and even then, Amen refuses to touch Renesmee or let Kebi touch her. Because wives always have to do everything their husbands tell them to. Bella asks why everyone in the coven is so devoted to what Benjamin says and Edward tells her that Benjamin has a very strong power - he can control the elements.

...Seriously? Meyer gave a vampire the powers of Captain Planet?

Well anyway, Benjamin's been hiding from the Volturi as well and won't let anyone use him, good for him.

And then we get more vampires. Goody! These ones are nomads, sent over by Emmett and Rosalie. First we get Garrett, a "tall, rangy vampire with eager ruby eyes and long sandy hair he kept tied back with a leather thong". A thong? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Yes, yes, I know that it's not what I think it is. It's still funny. Well, Garrett's apparently something of an adventurer and I kind of like him. He does remind me of Emmett. He quickly takes a shine to the Tanya and Kate and Bella predicts that he'll try out their vegetarian lifestyle just for the challenge.

We also get two other nomads, Mary and Randall. We don't find out too much about them though.

Shortly after all of this, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle all return. Carlisle brings with him a friend (in loose terms) named Alistar. Alistar is a grumpy English bastard which is cool, because every book can do with one. It seems that Alistar is really suspicious of any authority figures and thus takes a lot of effort to avoid the Volturi. Basically, he hangs out in the attic muttering stuff.

"'Of course, now they'll know I was here,' we heard him grumble to himself in the attic–his preferred spot to sulk. 'No way to keep it from Aro at this point. Centuries on the run, that's what this will mean. Everyone Carlisle's talked to in the last decade will be on their list. I can't believe I got myself sucked into this mess. What a fine way to treat your friends.'"

ZeldaQueen: Okay, I kind of like Alistar.

And then Bella ruins the humor by going on about Alistar's super-special power - Alistar is a tracker and thus feels a "pull" towards what he's seeking. By using this, he can figure out how to go in the opposite direction of Dimitri.

And then we get even more vampires. These ones were unexpected, they are two of Carlise's Amazon vampire friends. And remember Meyer's inability to avoid sterotypes with non-White people?

"Both of them seemed as if they'd been stretched–long arms and legs, long fingers, long black braids, and long faces with long noses. They wore nothing but animal skins–hide vests and tight-fitting pants that laced on the sides with leather ties. It wasn't just their eccentric clothes that made them seem wild but everything about them, from their restless crimson eyes to their sudden, darting movements. I'd never met any vampires less civilized"

ZeldaQueen: Way to be a judgemental bitch, Bella. Anyway, we find out that Alice sent them and Bella figures that she was only in South America to send them over. Not because there's any sort of plan that requires searching down there or anything. Nope.

The Amazon vampires are named Zafrina and Senna. The heck? You're killing me, Meyer. Bella describes them as being like "like two limbs of one organism" and I'm not sure if Meyer just missed the implications of that or if she was actually being sneaky and giving a little les yay for her femmeslash fans. Oh, and there's supposed to be a third Amazon named Kachiri, but Alice needed her for help with something. And apparently this is too much evidence that Alice is up to something for Meyer to handwave - so we ignore it in favor of Renesmee. Wonderful.

Edward is happy that Zafrina is there because she is "enormously talented" by which he means she's got huge tracts of land she has the power to cast illusions. Of course, Bella is immune to this.

Sorry for another rant folks, but I'm confused here. We found out before that Bella's powers block non-physical powers but not physical ones. Edward's mindreading doesn't affect Bella's body, so that doesn't work on her, but Jasper's power affects hormones in her bloodstream and the like so his does. Fair enough. But then we find out that Jane and Kate's powers don't hurt Bella and now we see that these illusions don't. There's a problem though - pain and hallucinations do require affecting the body. We see, hear, taste, and feel things because our brain "fires" off. It takes in "data", analyzes it, and then the synapses go off which let us see, hear, taste, touch, or smell whatever's around. That's how schizophrenia works - our brain misfires and we experience things that aren't really there. Things like hallucinations. So when Kate zaps someone, then she's causing their body to undergo the physical responses to interpret and react to pain. When Zafrina makes people think that they're in the rainforest, she's causing their brain to think "we're in the rainforest, so that's what we see". It shouldn't work.

Back to the story, Renesmee gets attached to Zafrina quickly because she (the baby) loves that she can get all sorts of fun visions now. Bella of course wigs out at the thought of the wild Amazon lady doing this, since she's afraid that Zafrina will show Renesmee something inappropriate. So Bella will let every other vampire and wolf carry her baby around, but not the one who looks savage. Wow. But ultimately Bella is fine with letting Zafrina babysit, since she (Bella) is far too busy to look after her low-maintenance daughter.

Meanwhile, Bella has taken up her fighting lessons. Edward backs out again because he just can't stand to beat up his wife - oh the irony - so she settles for wrestling with Emmett. Mmm... She also fights with Garrett and Zafrina, though she still goes on about how "the wild woman scared [her] to death" Uh huh.

And we also get Bella's mind-shield lessons with Kate, who basically electrocutes Edward while Bella fails continuously to protect him. This is pretty enjoyable. After awhile though, Kate decides that we need more motivation, so she goes to see if Renesmee wants to help Mommy out with something. Wow, this just keeps getting better and better!

Unfortunately, we don't get to see Death Baby get fried because Bella goes all Mama Bear and is able to shield her daughter. Then she shields Edward. I might add that Bella's narration of her anger fueling her shield reminds me horribly of Rose Potter and how the air would crackle with magic and her aura when she was getting ready to attack.

So Kate and Zafrina decide to test how much Bella can shield. Zafrina uses her powers to blind everyone and tells them to raise their hands when they can see again. The plan is for Bella to stretch out her shield and protect them all. This is all moving rather quickly. Again, I'm getting Rose Potter "Magic is just Magic" vibes. Thankfully, Meyer isn't so cruel as to have Bella shield all of the many, many people who had gathered to watch the Almighty Bella practice. Instead, she gets as far as Kate and Garrett before losing her concentration.

While Bella takes a break, Garrett wanders over and he and Kate engage in much better foreplay than Bella and Edward ever achieved.

"Garrett continued toward Kate despite the warning, his lips pursed in speculation. 'They say you can put a vampire flat on his back.'

'Yes,' she agreed. Then, with a sly smile, she wiggled her fingers playfully at him. 'Curious?'

Garrett shrugged. 'That's something I've never seen. Seems like it might be a bit of an exaggeration. . . .'

'Maybe,' Kate said, her face suddenly serious. 'Maybe it only works on the weak or the young. I'm not sure. You look strong, though. Perhaps you could withstand my gift.' She stretched her hand out to him, palm up–a clear invitation. Her lips twitched, and I was pretty sure her grave expression was an attempt to hustle him.

Garrett grinned at the challenge. Very confidently, he touched her palm with his index finger.

And then, with a loud gasp, his knees buckled and he keeled over backward. His head hit a piece of granite with a sharp cracking noise
...

Garrett's eyelids trembled for a few seconds, and then his eyes opened wide. He stared up at the smirking Kate, and a wondering smile lit his face.

'Wow,' he said.

'Did you enjoy that?' she asked skeptically.

'I'm not crazy,' he laughed, shaking his head as he got slowly to his knees, 'but that was sure something!'

'That's what I hear.'”

ZeldaQueen: Can I get a "yowzah"?

And what do you know? More unexpected vampire visitors! These ones have creepy voices and demeanors and actual act like freaking vampires instead of sparkly wusses. Their names are Stefan and Vladimir and they're from, surprise, surprise, Romania. Turns out that no one sent them to be witnesses, they've just shown up because they hate the Volturi and want a chance to see their potential downfall if at all possible (and perhaps help out in said downfall). Bella describes them as thus.

"The vampires at the door were both slight and short, one dark-haired and the other with hair so ashy blond that it looked pale gray. They had the same powdery look to their skin as the Volturi, though I thought it was not so pronounced. I couldn't be sure about that, as I had never seen the Volturi except with human eyes; I could not make a perfect comparison. Their sharp, narrow eyes were dark burgundy, with no milky film. They wore very simple black clothes that could pass as modern but hinted at older designs."

ZeldaQueen: THANK YOU FOR FINALLY GIVING US VAMPIRES THAT RESEMBLE ACTUAL VAMPIRES, MEYER! I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU COULD HAVE PUT THEM IN EARLIER THAN THE LAST FEW CHAPTERS, COULD YOU? LIKE AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SERIES?

Well anyway, the chapter's just about over. Everyone's all standing united and we're surely setting up for a grand battle here. I mean, it's not like Meyer would set up so much and let it fall flat, right? Right?

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Onward to: Chapter 33: Forgery

Back to: Chapter 31: Talented

Return to: Table of Contents

Comments

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

Yay for Edward getting fried.

And I now feel sorry for Stefan and Vladimir. Guys, seriously, you shouldn't have even bothered. I hate the fact you guys came all the way to Forks for nothing.

And Meyer had to get rid of Leah. C'mon! She would be all bitchy and bitter at Jacob for going along with this if she saw what was happening.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"And I now feel sorry for Stefan and Vladimir. Guys, seriously, you shouldn't have even bothered. I hate the fact you guys came all the way to Forks for nothing."

I know! And I bet they would have been really great in a battle also. >:(

"And Meyer had to get rid of Leah. C'mon! She would be all bitchy and bitter at Jacob for going along with this if she saw what was happening."

Yeah, you're right. Sensible people would only point out the flaws and we can't have that now, can we?

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

And they were there for something other than Demonspawn. That earns you brownie points in my book!


Plus we can't have somebody saying that the Cullens are not doing something moral and right. Pointing out that they are not above the Volturi for putting all these people in danger for their selfishness. Because it really is as you said above.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Ha, hey you're right! That somehow slipped my notice!

On the other hand, perhaps it's better that Leah isn't pointing out those things. If she did, then we'd have to read about how Jacob thinks she's so selfish to put stupid nameless people before his darling widdle Renesmee and I'd want to castrate him with a dull spork.

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

Revenge might be the most futile of efforts, but at least it's understandable!

Why not a spoon? It will hurt more. XD

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Revenge for a good cause at least. I'm sick of the people in this series going on stupid crusades to avenge their Twu Wuvs. At least these dudes wanted revenge for other stuff.

Though I have to wonder, if Volterra was completely emptied (since all of the Volturi are sojourning to Forks), why don't the Romanian vampires just get some supporters and take up residence there while the Volturi are gone? Aro and Co come back from Forks, find themselves locked out of their own city, problem solved.

Ah, true! It still must be rusty though. ^^

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

Because that would have been cool?

Besides, Meyer can't decide how to feel about the Volturi. In some chapters they are doing what's necessary while in others they are EVIL!! She goes to extremes instead of playing the gray zones. So she can't even come to harm them because she's not sure how to feel about them.

Ah, of course it shall be rusty. Must cause as much pain as possible!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Bah, you're right. That would have been awesome. Heck, I wouldn't have minded if Meyer made the Volturi straight-up villains, if we would have just gotten the potentially cool ending of the Cullens and their allies overthrowing them. It could also have backed Meyer's insistence that there was free will in the series! You have the Volturi who oppresses vampiredom, and then they're overthrown by the Cullens. Instead of taking over, Carlisle basically says, "Go off and do your own thing".

You know, it's times like these that I just want to rewrite the series myself. Or see it written by a competent author. =.=

Oh, excellent! And infection must set in. Time to stop that silly werewolf bloodline. >:D

[sylvacoer.livejournal.com]

I was getting angry as I read this, but the mental image of some chick frying Wardo's pasty butt whilst Bella spazzed helplessly just made me grin the rest of the way through. Aaaaahhh... *happy sigh!*

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, it was cathartic. ^_^ It's like every time the opportunity arises, Meyer has Edward get zapped so that Bella can (A) remind us of how she is unaffected and (B) sob over her Dearly Beloved getting hurt. And it is delicious. >:)

[kawaiicow.livejournal.com]

The Irish vampire clan is led by his friend Siobhan (whose name was so inconspicuously dropped before), “a woman of immense presence whose huge body was both beautiful and mesmerizing as it moved in smooth undulations”.
Is this lady Jabba the Hutt? I don't know either. Seriously though, if Siobhan is large, 'undulating' is not a nice way to describe her, its a smart ass way of saying 'wobbly'.

And you are totaly right about the plot errors. The Cullen's high and mighty attitude concerning making hunting easier and then pretending to be 'gracious' and good reflects what they did in Eclipse (read Mervin's Eclipse recap of the last few chapters, but trust me it is horiffic). Its getting really hard to remind myself that Unreliable Narrator is not supposed to be in efect here. Meyer's power flip flopping is geting silly as well, she can't seem to decide what is 'mental' or 'physical' and its annoying me too.

By the way, read Mervin's new spitefic, Alistar is right.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"By the way, read Mervin's new spitefic, Alistar is right."

Where could I find that?

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

"Meyer's power flip flopping is geting silly as well, she can't seem to decide what is 'mental' or 'physical' and its annoying me too."

Really? I find it easy. Anything that can hurt Bella in any way is physical; anything that won't harm Bella in any way it's mental. Why can Marcus see their relationship? It doesn't hurt Bella. Why can't Jane attack Bella? It hurts Bella.

Stupid? Yes. Simple minded of Meyer? Absolutely. Might as well cover her characters in bubble wrap.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I think you mean "if it doesn't hurt Bella, it's physical and if it hurts Bella, it's mental". ^^;

But yeah, point still stands.

[shaolina.livejournal.com]

D'oh! I thought I wrote it the other way around. Still it's obvious that's Meyer's drive with the blocking. It's all about protecting her SI in ridiculous ways.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"It's all about protecting her SI in ridiculous ways."

That or advancing the plot.

[kawaiicow.livejournal.com]

Go on her journal (you have to be added as a friend first though) and it's just under the dragons. You can't miss it.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Oh, thanks! I'll be sure to look that up. ^_^

[southerngaelic.livejournal.com]

To hell with Bella and Edward and their sociopathy.

I want to read a series about Garrett and Kate. THAT right there is chemistry. Also, Kate continually electrocuting Wardo while Bella stands there with her thumb up her arse gives me fuzzies.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I know, right? Garrett and Kate are way more interesting. To heck with Bella and Edward and their face-breathing and bed-rolling.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Ugh, the stupidity, sexism, and racism in this chapter is horrible. For Pete's sake, Meyer, would it kill you to not characterize non-white people as savage or exotic or identical to each other for once? Do you really have to rely on stereotypes so often? And why the heck did you even include mates for the vampires if they weren't going to say or do anything?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"And why the heck did you even include mates for the vampires if they weren't going to say or do anything?"

Because of course we can't see that a person (or vampire) is Good and Moral without them having a love interest! I think the only subversions are Mary and Randall, who are both nomads but don't travel together. Garrett's also single, but I think it's fairly obvious where Meyer's going with him...

[kitsune9tailed.livejournal.com]

/When Zafrina makes people think that they're in the rainforest, she's causing their brain to think "we're in the rainforest, so that's what we see". It shouldn't work./

To see a power-canceler ability handled well, watch (or read) "A Certain Magical Index" (To Aru Majutsu no Index).

[For those who haven't heard of it]: In a city of super-powered humans where most have a major psychic power, the protagonist is a worthless level 0. Except he DOES have one ability: the ability to cancel any psychic or magic power. But only with his right hand. You hit him anywhere else on his body and he gets fried, but he even touches a super-powered human or magician with his right hand and their power is turned off for the duration of contact. This produces tension (can he block their attacks with his right hand? can he get within range to touch them? can he save his friends AND himself simultaneously?), cleverness (the methods he uses to defeat some of his opponents are very innovative), and keeps the playing field level (he's not all powerful, he only has this one anti-ability and his own smarts to save his hide, the opponents he faces are insanely supercharged, etc.).

Compare to Meyer and Bella's "it works this way when I want it to, and that way when I need it to" Sue-perpower.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I'll have to look it up. It certainly sounds more interesting than this tripe.

[raxistaicho.livejournal.com]

And of course, anyone who is just better a physical fighter than Touma and doesn't rely on supernatural powers will demolish him.

Kanzaki for instance, Kanzaki just sticks with her sword and some wires and defeats Touma handily.