Breaking Dawn: Chapter 31 - Talented
Mar. 21st, 2010 02:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Third-to-last chapter! What've we got going?
Projection Room Voices: "Chapter thirty-one, in which Bella is Sued up even more".
ZeldaQueen: Right. Let's get through this.
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 31: Talented
ZeldaQueen: Once again, this does not seem promising.
Things kick off with the usual vampires-hate-werewolves routine. Tanya basically makes a brief swipe at Jacob, saying that he's brave but implying that he'll be shyte in battle. We also hear about Jacob looking at Renesmee with "longing" in his eyes and I want to gag.
Well, we've gone on for so long without extolling Bella's virtues, so Meyer apparently thought it was high time for some more. Elezar starts pacing and Bella says that "[h]is tempo was increasing". Tempo? Meyer, that doesn't mean what you think it does! Yes it means an increase in speed, but it usually refers to the speed of music, not walking! *is very annoyed as a violin player* Well anyway, he comments on how "talented" the family is, with "A mind reader for a father, a shield for a mother, and then whatever magic this extraordinary child has bewitched [them] with". Edward and Bella hear him use the word "shield" and are utterly confused about what he is talking about. Elezar says that he believes that Bella is a shield and that he can't be sure because she's blocking him. Bella still doesn't know what he's talking about and insists that she's not doing anything differently.
b['h nm b
Sorry about that, I was just hitting my head on my keyboard. Because Bella and Edward? They are dumb as bricks. We viewers who have higher IQs than kumquats already know what Elezar is talking about. Because we have had it beaten over our heads since book one that Bella has an uber-special "private" mind which some vampires can't use their powers on!!! They all know this. And then someone calls her a "shield" and they have no idea what this could be referring to? And didn't it at all occur to anyone before this that there's the possibility that Bella's mind-blocking could be her super-special vampire power? I mean, these people are willing to call good planning skills a super power, but not a mysterious mind power that blocks out very powerful vampire gifts. Right.
Elezar is forced to point out the obvious and asks how on Earth Edward could be so stupid as to not notice that he (Edward) can't read Bella's mind. Edward says that he couldn't even read Bella's mind when she was human and Elezar starts going off on how this power must be oh-so-powerful if it was so strong when she was a puny human. Once again, this shouldn't be such a surprise to Edward. He already knew that vampire powers could manifest in humans. He knew that Alice saw visions of the future as a human. Why is this so surprising with Bella? Oh wait, I know! Meyer is trying to build up suspense so that we'll all marvel and "ohh" and "ahh" over her stupid Sue with the brilliant and super-strong power.
And Bella is still a complete moron and doesn't know what is meant by her being a shield. *facepalm* Bella. Dear. Listen to me. You've known since the first book that Edward can't read your mind. You've known since the second book that Jane can't fry you and Aro can't get at your memories. You just spent the previous chapter reflecting on how some of the Volturi can't affect you and how to use that to your advantage. Now you are being told you have a shielding power and you don't know what it means? HOW STUPID ARE YOU????
Oh, and to further infuriate me, this entire "unconscious shield mind" thing reminds me of Rose Potter, when the Sorting Hat asks her to lower hers in the first fanfiction.
Bella explains to Elezar who can and can't affect her and he is properly awed and amazed. Edward is slapping his forehead, exclaiming how he can't believe he didn't think of this sooner - yeah Edward, I just ranted about it two paragraphs ago - and brings up a completely random Volturi member named Renata who is the only other shield he ever knew. Apparently Renata's power is a bit different - she actually performs a mind screw on anyone who tries to attack Aro, making the person forget why then want to attack and wander the other way. Personally, that sounds a bit more useful to me than Bella's power, but whatever. Bella's the head Sue here. Elezar just keeps heaping on the praise, going on about how no one could resist Jane and Alec's gifts before. Renesmee actually says to Bella, "Momma, you're special". *headdesk* MEYER, IF EVEN YOUR OWN CHARACTERS ARE POINTING OUT THE SUE-NESS OF YOUR AVATAR, YOU OUGHT TO TAKE A MESSAGE!!!
Kate meanwhile is curious as to whether or not Bella can "project" - that is, she wonders if Bella can use her mental shield to help protect other people. Great, I can't see this getting any more Sue-ish. Kate adds that Bella just might not be able to (ha, as if? A Sue? Unable to do something?) and we find out what Kate's power is - Taser touch. No, seriously. She also used to be able to only generate it in her palms, but now is able to make her entire body so that if someone touches it, they get electrocuted. That must make those sex times with the human men...awkward. Anyway, Bella takes an instant shine to the idea of being able to keep her precious Eddykins and Renesmee from being hurt every again and starts clinging to Kate, begging her to teach her (Bella) how to project her mindshield. We get mention of how Bella's shield protected her from being zapped which doesn't make sense, but I'll bring that up in a minute.
Meanwhile, Edward and Elezar start trying to figure out why the Volturi would all be coming for something which probably wouldn't normally warrant such theatrics. Elezar wigs out and gets all disillusioned and we learn that he just realized something horrible about the Volturi - every century or so, Aro would figure out a reason to destroy a coven and let only one vampire off the hook. It would then turn out that this vampire would have some great gift and join the Volturi. We also learn that there is a member of the Volturi guard named Chelsea who has the power to create or destroy the bonds between people. And the fact that I can't take the name "Chelsea" seriously (it was the name I always gave to my plastic Barbie horses), this is yet another stupid power which makes no sense. We were just told that no one was forced to join the Volturi and that it is usually considered a great honor to be let in. Yet here it is implied that these vampires are basically mind-raped into joining. Bella even figures that this explains why the guard obeyed their masters so readily, which she never understood before. I just... augh! And besides making no sense, this also reminds me of those stupid Death Eater-apologist fics like Child of Grace, which handwaves all of the terrible things done by the Death Eaters by saying "They were all forced, every single one of them".
Oh, and we get more True Love bull, with Elezar saying that his love for Carmen was enough that Chelsea couldn't keep him from leaving (once again - weren't the members allowed to leave when they wanted to? Using a power to influence someone's will doesn't sound like that). Elezar also says that abstaining from human blood makes vampires "more civilized". After reading Hyde's Midnight Sun recaps, I beg to differ.
So anyway, long story short is that the reason everyone in Volterra is coming to Forks is because Aro wants to come to get a vampire with a special power, like before. He's afraid to leave the "ancients" alone though, so he brings them along. Apparently it never occurred to him that this leaves his city empty and unprotected, so anyone who'd want to attack would be free to just wander in and take over. Also, why has it taken Elezar so long to realize this anyway? If it happened roughly every century, didn't he ever stop to think "Hmm, we just destroyed an entire coven for suspicious reasons again and only left one vampire alive, who conveniently has a uber-special power. How weird!"
Of course everyone goes back to thinking that this is why Alice ran off - because she probably foresaw Aro coming to get her and Chelsea breaking her loyalty to the Cullens. *rubs head* That...still doesn't make sense. From what we just heard, true love is stronger than Chelsea, so if they threatened Jasper then Alice shouldn't be mind-raped. And even ignoring that, Elezar has just said that he believes that Tanya's clan and the Cullen family had stronger bonds between each other and thus shouldn't be able to be separated. So how does that work???
Bella points out that Aro also wants Edward, but he replies that he isn't as desired and that Aro knows they can't force him to join. Elezar guesses that Aro will be interested in Bella becauseshe's a Sue and everyone's interested in her he saw that she had such a powerful latent ability as a human and will want to see how it is as a vampire. Bella starts to freak out at this and thinks "If Aro wanted me to do something–anything–all he had to do was threaten Edward and I would comply". Yes Bella, we saw that back in Twilight, when you were an utter moron and gave in to Jame's threats rather than taking a few minutes to figure out a plan. Wasn't turning you into a vampire supposed to give you more options to be useful? Hmm?
Everyone agrees that the Volturi won't be attacking until they have some sort of a pretext and then Carmen starts in on the Volturi betraying the trust everyone puts in them. Once again, Meyer has continually built up the Volturi as this terrifying group that everyone wants to stay under the radar of. I've yet to hear of anyone trusting them or wanting their help. It appears that Meyer is trying to make them at least partially appear to be a sort of extremist police group recently showing evil intentions, but it just comes off as unbelievable. Meyer, if you want to characterize someone in a way to have a shocking reveal later, don't start to characterize them like that three chapters before the end of the final book!
Edward insists that the Volturi probably won't be attacking without a reason and everyone is unconvinced because they're evil darn it! Just at that moment,a shot rang out they hear a car pulling into the driveway. Bella assumes that it's Charlie, but Edward says that it's Peter and Charlotte. Wait, what? Weren't Peter and Charlotte nomadic? Which would mean that they wouldn't really have the money or information to even rent a car, let alone buy one. Why would they even need a car anyway? Don't the nomads just walk and run everywhere?
And with that, we are done.
Onward to: Chapter 32: Company
Back to: Chapter 30: Irresistible
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: "Chapter thirty-one, in which Bella is Sued up even more".
ZeldaQueen: Right. Let's get through this.
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 31: Talented
ZeldaQueen: Once again, this does not seem promising.
Things kick off with the usual vampires-hate-werewolves routine. Tanya basically makes a brief swipe at Jacob, saying that he's brave but implying that he'll be shyte in battle. We also hear about Jacob looking at Renesmee with "longing" in his eyes and I want to gag.
Well, we've gone on for so long without extolling Bella's virtues, so Meyer apparently thought it was high time for some more. Elezar starts pacing and Bella says that "[h]is tempo was increasing". Tempo? Meyer, that doesn't mean what you think it does! Yes it means an increase in speed, but it usually refers to the speed of music, not walking! *is very annoyed as a violin player* Well anyway, he comments on how "talented" the family is, with "A mind reader for a father, a shield for a mother, and then whatever magic this extraordinary child has bewitched [them] with". Edward and Bella hear him use the word "shield" and are utterly confused about what he is talking about. Elezar says that he believes that Bella is a shield and that he can't be sure because she's blocking him. Bella still doesn't know what he's talking about and insists that she's not doing anything differently.
b['h nm b
Sorry about that, I was just hitting my head on my keyboard. Because Bella and Edward? They are dumb as bricks. We viewers who have higher IQs than kumquats already know what Elezar is talking about. Because we have had it beaten over our heads since book one that Bella has an uber-special "private" mind which some vampires can't use their powers on!!! They all know this. And then someone calls her a "shield" and they have no idea what this could be referring to? And didn't it at all occur to anyone before this that there's the possibility that Bella's mind-blocking could be her super-special vampire power? I mean, these people are willing to call good planning skills a super power, but not a mysterious mind power that blocks out very powerful vampire gifts. Right.
Elezar is forced to point out the obvious and asks how on Earth Edward could be so stupid as to not notice that he (Edward) can't read Bella's mind. Edward says that he couldn't even read Bella's mind when she was human and Elezar starts going off on how this power must be oh-so-powerful if it was so strong when she was a puny human. Once again, this shouldn't be such a surprise to Edward. He already knew that vampire powers could manifest in humans. He knew that Alice saw visions of the future as a human. Why is this so surprising with Bella? Oh wait, I know! Meyer is trying to build up suspense so that we'll all marvel and "ohh" and "ahh" over her stupid Sue with the brilliant and super-strong power.
And Bella is still a complete moron and doesn't know what is meant by her being a shield. *facepalm* Bella. Dear. Listen to me. You've known since the first book that Edward can't read your mind. You've known since the second book that Jane can't fry you and Aro can't get at your memories. You just spent the previous chapter reflecting on how some of the Volturi can't affect you and how to use that to your advantage. Now you are being told you have a shielding power and you don't know what it means? HOW STUPID ARE YOU????
Oh, and to further infuriate me, this entire "unconscious shield mind" thing reminds me of Rose Potter, when the Sorting Hat asks her to lower hers in the first fanfiction.
Bella explains to Elezar who can and can't affect her and he is properly awed and amazed. Edward is slapping his forehead, exclaiming how he can't believe he didn't think of this sooner - yeah Edward, I just ranted about it two paragraphs ago - and brings up a completely random Volturi member named Renata who is the only other shield he ever knew. Apparently Renata's power is a bit different - she actually performs a mind screw on anyone who tries to attack Aro, making the person forget why then want to attack and wander the other way. Personally, that sounds a bit more useful to me than Bella's power, but whatever. Bella's the head Sue here. Elezar just keeps heaping on the praise, going on about how no one could resist Jane and Alec's gifts before. Renesmee actually says to Bella, "Momma, you're special". *headdesk* MEYER, IF EVEN YOUR OWN CHARACTERS ARE POINTING OUT THE SUE-NESS OF YOUR AVATAR, YOU OUGHT TO TAKE A MESSAGE!!!
Kate meanwhile is curious as to whether or not Bella can "project" - that is, she wonders if Bella can use her mental shield to help protect other people. Great, I can't see this getting any more Sue-ish. Kate adds that Bella just might not be able to (ha, as if? A Sue? Unable to do something?) and we find out what Kate's power is - Taser touch. No, seriously. She also used to be able to only generate it in her palms, but now is able to make her entire body so that if someone touches it, they get electrocuted. That must make those sex times with the human men...awkward. Anyway, Bella takes an instant shine to the idea of being able to keep her precious Eddykins and Renesmee from being hurt every again and starts clinging to Kate, begging her to teach her (Bella) how to project her mindshield. We get mention of how Bella's shield protected her from being zapped which doesn't make sense, but I'll bring that up in a minute.
Meanwhile, Edward and Elezar start trying to figure out why the Volturi would all be coming for something which probably wouldn't normally warrant such theatrics. Elezar wigs out and gets all disillusioned and we learn that he just realized something horrible about the Volturi - every century or so, Aro would figure out a reason to destroy a coven and let only one vampire off the hook. It would then turn out that this vampire would have some great gift and join the Volturi. We also learn that there is a member of the Volturi guard named Chelsea who has the power to create or destroy the bonds between people. And the fact that I can't take the name "Chelsea" seriously (it was the name I always gave to my plastic Barbie horses), this is yet another stupid power which makes no sense. We were just told that no one was forced to join the Volturi and that it is usually considered a great honor to be let in. Yet here it is implied that these vampires are basically mind-raped into joining. Bella even figures that this explains why the guard obeyed their masters so readily, which she never understood before. I just... augh! And besides making no sense, this also reminds me of those stupid Death Eater-apologist fics like Child of Grace, which handwaves all of the terrible things done by the Death Eaters by saying "They were all forced, every single one of them".
Oh, and we get more True Love bull, with Elezar saying that his love for Carmen was enough that Chelsea couldn't keep him from leaving (once again - weren't the members allowed to leave when they wanted to? Using a power to influence someone's will doesn't sound like that). Elezar also says that abstaining from human blood makes vampires "more civilized". After reading Hyde's Midnight Sun recaps, I beg to differ.
So anyway, long story short is that the reason everyone in Volterra is coming to Forks is because Aro wants to come to get a vampire with a special power, like before. He's afraid to leave the "ancients" alone though, so he brings them along. Apparently it never occurred to him that this leaves his city empty and unprotected, so anyone who'd want to attack would be free to just wander in and take over. Also, why has it taken Elezar so long to realize this anyway? If it happened roughly every century, didn't he ever stop to think "Hmm, we just destroyed an entire coven for suspicious reasons again and only left one vampire alive, who conveniently has a uber-special power. How weird!"
Of course everyone goes back to thinking that this is why Alice ran off - because she probably foresaw Aro coming to get her and Chelsea breaking her loyalty to the Cullens. *rubs head* That...still doesn't make sense. From what we just heard, true love is stronger than Chelsea, so if they threatened Jasper then Alice shouldn't be mind-raped. And even ignoring that, Elezar has just said that he believes that Tanya's clan and the Cullen family had stronger bonds between each other and thus shouldn't be able to be separated. So how does that work???
Bella points out that Aro also wants Edward, but he replies that he isn't as desired and that Aro knows they can't force him to join. Elezar guesses that Aro will be interested in Bella because
Everyone agrees that the Volturi won't be attacking until they have some sort of a pretext and then Carmen starts in on the Volturi betraying the trust everyone puts in them. Once again, Meyer has continually built up the Volturi as this terrifying group that everyone wants to stay under the radar of. I've yet to hear of anyone trusting them or wanting their help. It appears that Meyer is trying to make them at least partially appear to be a sort of extremist police group recently showing evil intentions, but it just comes off as unbelievable. Meyer, if you want to characterize someone in a way to have a shocking reveal later, don't start to characterize them like that three chapters before the end of the final book!
Edward insists that the Volturi probably won't be attacking without a reason and everyone is unconvinced because they're evil darn it! Just at that moment,
And with that, we are done.
Onward to: Chapter 32: Company
Back to: Chapter 30: Irresistible
Return to: Table of Contents
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Date: 2010-03-21 10:27 pm (UTC)I'll point that out in the next chapter, when the other vampires start to show up. Thanks for pointing that out!