Breaking Dawn: Chapter 27 - Travel Plans
Mar. 15th, 2010 12:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenProjection Room Voices: Up for another chapter?
ZeldaQueen: It's not going to be really silly and pointless, is it?
Projection Room Voices: Let's see, "chapter twenty-seven, in which the baby is discussed in extensive detail".
ZeldaQueen: God damn it!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 27: Travel Plans
ZeldaQueen: Well wouldn't you know it, we start out with a three-month skip! Apparently the Cullens somehow have remained in Forks for three months and none of Bella's old friends (or the rest of the town for that matter) have made any attempt to see her again. Pretty strange when you consider how the Cullens were oh-so mysterious and Bella was oh-so popular and there was that huge shindig of a wedding and all. Ah well, Bella's done with them so I guess they don't exist anymore.
Bella goes about comparing her life to the threads on the Fates's loom and does some stupid comparison to how her thread was probably beige at first but was then turned crimson or gold. No dearie, it was and always has been purple. She then goes on to compare the colorful threads of the rest of her friends and family and I find it highly ironic that she's doing this with all of these immortals, since the Fates were remembered as the ones who cut the threads and thus decided when people died. They'd probably be annoyed as heck with vampires and werewolves because people not dying tangled up their loom, if I recall.
Through this goofy analogy, we find out that Jacob and Seth are still in Bella's life, as are Quil and Embry who also joined Jake's pack (Bella has the nerve to refer to them as her old friends, God in heaven!)
We also find out that Sue and Leah have become tangled up in this crazy make-believe loom as well. It seems that Sue has been the one to help Charlie adjust to the world of werewolves and vampire that he's found himself thrown into. Bella of course harps on about how Sue is uncomfortable visiting the Cullens although she takes the time to go when Charlie does. Erm Bella? Both of her children basically have been going out onto dangerous missions to kill vampires and were potentially risking life and limb to protect your stupid in-laws. Not everyone drops trepidations like a stack of plates just because the vampires are sparkly. And take a wild guess for what Meyer's setting up with Charlie and Sue. Go on. No prizes given, that would be cheating. Leah is also mentioned and again, Bella goes on about how she is even more uncomfortable hanging around and how she was the exception in that regard. BELLA, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY ENAMORED OF THE VAMPIRES DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN IGNORE THE FACT THAT THEY ARE CREATURES THAT DRINK BLOOD FOR A LIVING! Plus, we've read Midnight Sun, we know how psychotic your husband and his family are. Leah's perfectly sensible to be on edge. Plus, she's the only one who isn't bending over backwards to coo over that demon spawn baby of yours, so good for her! Ah well, we do find out that Jacob decided to make Leah his beta which means that the two are now good friends. *sigh* I know he's a jerk and doesn't deserve to be friends with her, but I'm still glad that at least something is going good for the poor girl.
I might add that Leah and Jacob are referred to as Bella's extended family. On it's own? Not too weird. Considering that Jacob will be wanting to marry Renesmee in the future...
Well all things considered, Bella's pretty happy that she ditched her human life.
"The days were not long enough for me to get my fill of adoring my daughter; the nights did not have enough hours to satisfy my need for Edward".
ZeldaQueen: "Adoring" your daughter? She's not a freaking puppy? Don't you, y'know, have to feed her or bath her or discipline her or do anything that would require actual work and bonding? Yes viewers, I'm being rhetorical there, I know there's a snowball's chance for Meyer to cause her pet Sue the slightest distress that doesn't have payoff. *sigh* Although I guess we can let the endless sex thing slide on the physical aspect since they're vampires and have unlimited stamina. It's still annoying as heck though!
Well, all is not sunshine and roses though, specifically in regards to Renesmee who is still growing like a mutant weed from Captain Underpants. It turns out that Rensmee spoke her first word when she was one week old (Momma) and immediately after moved on to her first sentence (Momma, where is Grandpa?). She also began walking less than three weeks later, after staring at Alice doing her dancey-walk thing across the room and then getting up and copying it perfectly, first time. *headdesk* I call bull here Meyer! Even if you say the kid is fast-growing, kids don't just stand up and start walking perfectly the first time around! They trip and stumble and fall! Oh, but I forgot, you baby came straight out of Heaven on a cloud! *grumbles*
Everyone is understandably freaked out by all of this, since it's looking like Renesmee will be hitting middle age by the time she's six. Edward and Carlisle begin looking into mythology for help, but there's little info to be had. Again, if Renemsee is so unique and all, what exactly are they looking for?
We get even more of a run-down on the infant Sue's growth. Alice and Rosalie play dress-up with her constantly because "trying to create a baby album that appeared to span years rather than weeks" I could actually see this as being a legitimately sad and scary thing, but I bet dollars to doughnuts that Meyer won't stand to let her wish-fulfillment baby die so quickly. There's also the fact that all of this is delivered in a way that just keeps going on and on about how freaking perfect she is! Like her physical description.
"At three months, Renesmee could have been a big one-year-old, or a small two-year-old. She wasn't shaped exactly like a toddler; she was leaner and more graceful, her proportions were more even, like an adult's. Her bronze ringlets hung to her waist; I couldn't bear to cut them, even if Alice would have allowed it. Renesmee could speak with flawless grammar and articulation, but she rarely bothered, preferring to simply show people what she wanted. She could not only walk but run and dance. She could even read".
ZeldaQueen: And if you're expecting her to begin by reading Hop On Pop, well you don't know Meyer, do you? Nope, Renesmee starts by reading Tennyson. Of course. You see, Bella is reading Renesmee some, because "I had to search constantly for new material; Renesmee didn't like repetition in her bedtime stories as other children supposedly did, and she had no patience for picture books". That's very nice, by the way Meyer. Just keep going on about how your avatar's baby is so much better than us mere humans' babies are. Anyway, as Bella is reading, Renesmee sends her an image that she wants the book and then immediately starts reading from it without any stumbling or hesitation. Again Meyer, BULL!!! Kids, even freakish ones with adult minds, stumble and screw up the first time they read!
It turns out that by Carlisle's measurements, the baby is slowing down in growth, but is mentally aging very rapidly. By their estimation, she'll be an old lady mentally by fifteen. *dully* Well, that certainly trumps Bella's concerns over turning eighteen, wouldn't you say? I think Meyer secretly has some issues with growing older.
It seems that the only surefire way to stop Renesmee from getting old is to turn her into a vampire as well. Am I the only one who sees how incredibly shallow and selfish that is? Besides, what good would it do? Her body is starting to age slower and it's her mind that's going so quickly, isn't it? So to preserve her mind, they'd have to bite her as a child which is forbidden. By the way, what do they even mean by her being mentally old? I know that it's more difficult for older people to remember things and the like, but doesn't that have to do with the brain itself getting old? Renesmee's brain is still young and - ah screw it, why am I even bothering? It seems that the only real way to find answers is to go down to Brazil to see if they can find any of them there half-vampire children. I still don't understand how that works, by the way. Plenty of other cultures have legends about half-vampire children. Why is this only apparently happening in Brazil? Oh well, the Cullens ignore this thought if they even have it and decide to figure out when to go.
And then I do believe our plot is shyly peeking around the corner here! We are reminded that the Volturi remember the promise Edward and Bella made and are eager to see her soon to make sure that she was indeed vampirized. Huh, you'd think that with running all of the vampire world they'd have more things to worry about than one chick in Forks. Maybe one of the Volturi specializes in keeping track of humans who know their secret and have to be either killed or transformed.
The Volturi reminder comes in the form of Aro's wedding gift to Bella, which is of course ridiculously expensive and over-the-top.
"The gift was presented in an ornately carved, ancient wooden box inlaid with gold and mother-of-pearl, ornamented with a rainbow of gemstones. Alice said the box itself was a priceless treasure, that it would have outshone just about any piece of jewelry besides the one inside it.
'I always wondered where the crown jewels disappeared to after John of England pawned them in the thirteenth century,' Carlisle said. 'I suppose it doesn't surprise me that the Volturi have their share.'
The necklace was simple–gold woven into a thick rope of a chain, almost scaled, like a smooth snake that would curl close around the throat. One jewel hung suspended from the rope: a white diamond the size of a golf ball."
ZeldaQueen: So apparently Bella is so important to them that they're sending her one of the crown jewels of England as a wedding present. Interesting. Ah well, I guess we could argue that Aro's trying to impress Alice, Carlisle, and Edwardwho he totally is in love with. And I love how Carlisle is just like "huh, the crown jewels. Interesting". Bella instantly starts freaking out over the fact that the Volturi want to see her and I fail to see why. She's a vampire, isn't she? And not only that, but she's got fantastic self-control which means that they can't even pretend that she's too unstable to let live or anything. Edward of course gets all upset at the thought of Bella going alone to Italy. Dude! I repeat, she's a vampire! She can take care of herself for a change! Plus, she points out, there's no reason for her to be hurt! I guess you could argue that Edward is worried that Aro would see her great self-control and decide that he wants to recruit her, but he hasn't been able to force any of the other Cullens so why would he force her? She ought to be able to show up, go "Yo, I'm a vampire" and go home. Bella also has a good point (I think this is a sign of the apocalypse) that it's definitely not good to let the Volturi come to America. She just doesn't want them to see Renesmee and covet her. I personally think it's bad news to draw the most bloodthirsty and dangerous vampires to Forks, where her father lives!!!
Alice goes searching through her visions of the future for anything useful. Everything is dismissed as useless, including the thought that Irina might be stopping down to pay a visit. Of course, not like that's going to be useful, right? Ha ha!
Oh, and we find out that Bella's still working on roughing up her voice so she can get in contact with Renee. So she's not totally dumping her mom.
Well we've got the low-down on the past three months and caught up to Bella purchasing her ticket to Italy.
We jump to Bella, Renesmee, and Jacob out hunting - my God, stay away you idiot! - where we find out that Jacob wants to go to Brazil with the others. Bella reminds him that he has duties and obligations to his pack and Jake waves it away by saying that he's not their nanny. You're not Renesmee's either! You're not connected to her at all! We know you can't ignore anything remotely related to your infant smoochy-poo, but there are such things as "responsibilities" in this world and everyone in this series seems determined to ignore them! Speaking of which, the reason why Jake has been able to be hanging around here so much? He's taking a "sabbatical" from high school. I'm sorry, on what grounds? I don't think schools would accept "protecting an underage girlfriend from various supernatural potential deaths while carry and feeding and playing peek-a-boo with her" as a good reason.
Jacob and Renesmee go running off to find an elk to munch on and Bella stays behind, reflecting on how she will argue for Jake to be allowed to come, since he "had as big a stake in this as any of us". Um Bella? No he doesn't! He's not the kid's parents, he's not related to her at all, he's certainly not of age to be in a romantic relationship, no court in the world would agree with that. Well, thankfully that train of thought is cut as Bella suddenly notices the pale marble skin and golden eyes of a vampire staring at her through the forest. She correctly guesses that Irina decided to pay that visit after all. Who woulda thunk it? At that very moment they hear Jacob howl and Irina looks pained. Bella decides that it must be because of how she is friendly with Jake - a werewolf - when werewolves were the ones who killed her beloved Laurent. As soon as this is decided, Irine runs off and Bella goes tearing after Jake and Renesmee. She tells us that "vengeance was a common obsession with vampires". Because humans never go off trying to avenge the loss of loved ones. She finds her daughter and...well Jake just in time for us to hear Renesmee saying "“Mine is bigger"...
DO. NOT. WANT!!!!!
Well the pair are actually deciding who made the bigger kill and are curious as to why Bella is being so frantic. She calls Edward and tells him what's going on and Edward and Carlisle go out to find Irina. Of course, they keep going on about how this is all about her sadness over the loss of Laurent (how long did he live with her clan anyway?)
ZeldaQueen: And the chapter ends with Bella taking Renesmee back inside and figuring that since the hunting trip didn't work out, she'll have to cave in and feed her daughter donated human blood. You know Bella, you could just feed the little brat people food. She is able to eat that apparently.
ZeldaQueen: Why, I do believe that some semblance of plot has come a'sniffing around! Stay tuned - or don't - to find out exactly how this will play out!
Onward to: Chapter 28: The Future
Back to: Chapter 26: Shiny
Return to: Table of Contents
ZeldaQueen: It's not going to be really silly and pointless, is it?
Projection Room Voices: Let's see, "chapter twenty-seven, in which the baby is discussed in extensive detail".
ZeldaQueen: God damn it!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 27: Travel Plans
ZeldaQueen: Well wouldn't you know it, we start out with a three-month skip! Apparently the Cullens somehow have remained in Forks for three months and none of Bella's old friends (or the rest of the town for that matter) have made any attempt to see her again. Pretty strange when you consider how the Cullens were oh-so mysterious and Bella was oh-so popular and there was that huge shindig of a wedding and all. Ah well, Bella's done with them so I guess they don't exist anymore.
Bella goes about comparing her life to the threads on the Fates's loom and does some stupid comparison to how her thread was probably beige at first but was then turned crimson or gold. No dearie, it was and always has been purple. She then goes on to compare the colorful threads of the rest of her friends and family and I find it highly ironic that she's doing this with all of these immortals, since the Fates were remembered as the ones who cut the threads and thus decided when people died. They'd probably be annoyed as heck with vampires and werewolves because people not dying tangled up their loom, if I recall.
Through this goofy analogy, we find out that Jacob and Seth are still in Bella's life, as are Quil and Embry who also joined Jake's pack (Bella has the nerve to refer to them as her old friends, God in heaven!)
We also find out that Sue and Leah have become tangled up in this crazy make-believe loom as well. It seems that Sue has been the one to help Charlie adjust to the world of werewolves and vampire that he's found himself thrown into. Bella of course harps on about how Sue is uncomfortable visiting the Cullens although she takes the time to go when Charlie does. Erm Bella? Both of her children basically have been going out onto dangerous missions to kill vampires and were potentially risking life and limb to protect your stupid in-laws. Not everyone drops trepidations like a stack of plates just because the vampires are sparkly. And take a wild guess for what Meyer's setting up with Charlie and Sue. Go on. No prizes given, that would be cheating. Leah is also mentioned and again, Bella goes on about how she is even more uncomfortable hanging around and how she was the exception in that regard. BELLA, JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY ENAMORED OF THE VAMPIRES DOESN'T MEAN THAT EVERYONE ELSE CAN IGNORE THE FACT THAT THEY ARE CREATURES THAT DRINK BLOOD FOR A LIVING! Plus, we've read Midnight Sun, we know how psychotic your husband and his family are. Leah's perfectly sensible to be on edge. Plus, she's the only one who isn't bending over backwards to coo over that demon spawn baby of yours, so good for her! Ah well, we do find out that Jacob decided to make Leah his beta which means that the two are now good friends. *sigh* I know he's a jerk and doesn't deserve to be friends with her, but I'm still glad that at least something is going good for the poor girl.
I might add that Leah and Jacob are referred to as Bella's extended family. On it's own? Not too weird. Considering that Jacob will be wanting to marry Renesmee in the future...
Well all things considered, Bella's pretty happy that she ditched her human life.
"The days were not long enough for me to get my fill of adoring my daughter; the nights did not have enough hours to satisfy my need for Edward".
ZeldaQueen: "Adoring" your daughter? She's not a freaking puppy? Don't you, y'know, have to feed her or bath her or discipline her or do anything that would require actual work and bonding? Yes viewers, I'm being rhetorical there, I know there's a snowball's chance for Meyer to cause her pet Sue the slightest distress that doesn't have payoff. *sigh* Although I guess we can let the endless sex thing slide on the physical aspect since they're vampires and have unlimited stamina. It's still annoying as heck though!
Well, all is not sunshine and roses though, specifically in regards to Renesmee who is still growing like a mutant weed from Captain Underpants. It turns out that Rensmee spoke her first word when she was one week old (Momma) and immediately after moved on to her first sentence (Momma, where is Grandpa?). She also began walking less than three weeks later, after staring at Alice doing her dancey-walk thing across the room and then getting up and copying it perfectly, first time. *headdesk* I call bull here Meyer! Even if you say the kid is fast-growing, kids don't just stand up and start walking perfectly the first time around! They trip and stumble and fall! Oh, but I forgot, you baby came straight out of Heaven on a cloud! *grumbles*
Everyone is understandably freaked out by all of this, since it's looking like Renesmee will be hitting middle age by the time she's six. Edward and Carlisle begin looking into mythology for help, but there's little info to be had. Again, if Renemsee is so unique and all, what exactly are they looking for?
We get even more of a run-down on the infant Sue's growth. Alice and Rosalie play dress-up with her constantly because "trying to create a baby album that appeared to span years rather than weeks" I could actually see this as being a legitimately sad and scary thing, but I bet dollars to doughnuts that Meyer won't stand to let her wish-fulfillment baby die so quickly. There's also the fact that all of this is delivered in a way that just keeps going on and on about how freaking perfect she is! Like her physical description.
"At three months, Renesmee could have been a big one-year-old, or a small two-year-old. She wasn't shaped exactly like a toddler; she was leaner and more graceful, her proportions were more even, like an adult's. Her bronze ringlets hung to her waist; I couldn't bear to cut them, even if Alice would have allowed it. Renesmee could speak with flawless grammar and articulation, but she rarely bothered, preferring to simply show people what she wanted. She could not only walk but run and dance. She could even read".
ZeldaQueen: And if you're expecting her to begin by reading Hop On Pop, well you don't know Meyer, do you? Nope, Renesmee starts by reading Tennyson. Of course. You see, Bella is reading Renesmee some, because "I had to search constantly for new material; Renesmee didn't like repetition in her bedtime stories as other children supposedly did, and she had no patience for picture books". That's very nice, by the way Meyer. Just keep going on about how your avatar's baby is so much better than us mere humans' babies are. Anyway, as Bella is reading, Renesmee sends her an image that she wants the book and then immediately starts reading from it without any stumbling or hesitation. Again Meyer, BULL!!! Kids, even freakish ones with adult minds, stumble and screw up the first time they read!
It turns out that by Carlisle's measurements, the baby is slowing down in growth, but is mentally aging very rapidly. By their estimation, she'll be an old lady mentally by fifteen. *dully* Well, that certainly trumps Bella's concerns over turning eighteen, wouldn't you say? I think Meyer secretly has some issues with growing older.
It seems that the only surefire way to stop Renesmee from getting old is to turn her into a vampire as well. Am I the only one who sees how incredibly shallow and selfish that is? Besides, what good would it do? Her body is starting to age slower and it's her mind that's going so quickly, isn't it? So to preserve her mind, they'd have to bite her as a child which is forbidden. By the way, what do they even mean by her being mentally old? I know that it's more difficult for older people to remember things and the like, but doesn't that have to do with the brain itself getting old? Renesmee's brain is still young and - ah screw it, why am I even bothering? It seems that the only real way to find answers is to go down to Brazil to see if they can find any of them there half-vampire children. I still don't understand how that works, by the way. Plenty of other cultures have legends about half-vampire children. Why is this only apparently happening in Brazil? Oh well, the Cullens ignore this thought if they even have it and decide to figure out when to go.
And then I do believe our plot is shyly peeking around the corner here! We are reminded that the Volturi remember the promise Edward and Bella made and are eager to see her soon to make sure that she was indeed vampirized. Huh, you'd think that with running all of the vampire world they'd have more things to worry about than one chick in Forks. Maybe one of the Volturi specializes in keeping track of humans who know their secret and have to be either killed or transformed.
The Volturi reminder comes in the form of Aro's wedding gift to Bella, which is of course ridiculously expensive and over-the-top.
"The gift was presented in an ornately carved, ancient wooden box inlaid with gold and mother-of-pearl, ornamented with a rainbow of gemstones. Alice said the box itself was a priceless treasure, that it would have outshone just about any piece of jewelry besides the one inside it.
'I always wondered where the crown jewels disappeared to after John of England pawned them in the thirteenth century,' Carlisle said. 'I suppose it doesn't surprise me that the Volturi have their share.'
The necklace was simple–gold woven into a thick rope of a chain, almost scaled, like a smooth snake that would curl close around the throat. One jewel hung suspended from the rope: a white diamond the size of a golf ball."
ZeldaQueen: So apparently Bella is so important to them that they're sending her one of the crown jewels of England as a wedding present. Interesting. Ah well, I guess we could argue that Aro's trying to impress Alice, Carlisle, and Edward
Alice goes searching through her visions of the future for anything useful. Everything is dismissed as useless, including the thought that Irina might be stopping down to pay a visit. Of course, not like that's going to be useful, right? Ha ha!
Oh, and we find out that Bella's still working on roughing up her voice so she can get in contact with Renee. So she's not totally dumping her mom.
Well we've got the low-down on the past three months and caught up to Bella purchasing her ticket to Italy.
We jump to Bella, Renesmee, and Jacob out hunting - my God, stay away you idiot! - where we find out that Jacob wants to go to Brazil with the others. Bella reminds him that he has duties and obligations to his pack and Jake waves it away by saying that he's not their nanny. You're not Renesmee's either! You're not connected to her at all! We know you can't ignore anything remotely related to your infant smoochy-poo, but there are such things as "responsibilities" in this world and everyone in this series seems determined to ignore them! Speaking of which, the reason why Jake has been able to be hanging around here so much? He's taking a "sabbatical" from high school. I'm sorry, on what grounds? I don't think schools would accept "protecting an underage girlfriend from various supernatural potential deaths while carry and feeding and playing peek-a-boo with her" as a good reason.
Jacob and Renesmee go running off to find an elk to munch on and Bella stays behind, reflecting on how she will argue for Jake to be allowed to come, since he "had as big a stake in this as any of us". Um Bella? No he doesn't! He's not the kid's parents, he's not related to her at all, he's certainly not of age to be in a romantic relationship, no court in the world would agree with that. Well, thankfully that train of thought is cut as Bella suddenly notices the pale marble skin and golden eyes of a vampire staring at her through the forest. She correctly guesses that Irina decided to pay that visit after all. Who woulda thunk it? At that very moment they hear Jacob howl and Irina looks pained. Bella decides that it must be because of how she is friendly with Jake - a werewolf - when werewolves were the ones who killed her beloved Laurent. As soon as this is decided, Irine runs off and Bella goes tearing after Jake and Renesmee. She tells us that "vengeance was a common obsession with vampires". Because humans never go off trying to avenge the loss of loved ones. She finds her daughter and...well Jake just in time for us to hear Renesmee saying "“Mine is bigger"...
DO. NOT. WANT!!!!!
Well the pair are actually deciding who made the bigger kill and are curious as to why Bella is being so frantic. She calls Edward and tells him what's going on and Edward and Carlisle go out to find Irina. Of course, they keep going on about how this is all about her sadness over the loss of Laurent (how long did he live with her clan anyway?)
ZeldaQueen: And the chapter ends with Bella taking Renesmee back inside and figuring that since the hunting trip didn't work out, she'll have to cave in and feed her daughter donated human blood. You know Bella, you could just feed the little brat people food. She is able to eat that apparently.
ZeldaQueen: Why, I do believe that some semblance of plot has come a'sniffing around! Stay tuned - or don't - to find out exactly how this will play out!
Onward to: Chapter 28: The Future
Back to: Chapter 26: Shiny
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 05:33 am (UTC)Bella never has to teach Renesmee how to walk or talk. She never has to change her diapers. She never has to teach her right and wrong. She will never have to send her through school to learn anything. She will never have to deal with her getting sick and subsequently taking care of her through the process. She will never have to endure a night where she is fussy and won't sleep--she always falls asleep at almost the exact same time every single evening and sleeps solidly until it's time to wake up again. She never has to feed her when she is an infant, under the excuse that she is a newborn vampire and the smell of human blood would drive her insane. She never has to feed her later, either, because she didn't have to teach Renesmee how to hunt.
And it is quite clear that Bella is Meyer and Renesmee is her dream child, the daughter she never had and the one she truly believes is perfect.
Meaning she never wanted to do any of that even with her own children.
I feel so, so sorry for her children. They did nothing to deserve the complete and utter CONTEMPT that she has for them--contempt she feels it necessary to tell THE ENTIRE WORLD about.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 11:14 am (UTC)And this might sound a bit mean, but what's it to say that you love a baby that is just pretty much a shiny doll that does everything for itself? Doesn't it say more when you're able to look past and get through someone's imperfections and still love them?
Ugh, Meyer. First you have to rail on your husband and now your kids. Have you no shame?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 05:23 pm (UTC)I mean, look at it--her parents don't give a damn about her. All they do is shower her with gifts and adoration--but no AFFECTION. Bella and Edward look for any excuse to pawn her off on somebody so they can go fuck each other. But that's okay! She's got two ready-made babysitters always willing and able to take care of her--Rosalie, who is mostly just using her to satisfy her own selfish desires for pretty babies to play dress-up with and Jacob, who keeps her neatly confined in a cage disguised as pampering and spoiling.
Renesmee is a textbook example of the cliche and classic spoiled rich kid who has everything in the world, from dresses to electronics to being treated like a queen--like a GODDESS--except she doesn't have love or affection or PARENTS. Worship and reverence and adoration are not LOVE. They are not AFFECTION. They are not CARE.
And Meyer doesn't even realize that she wrote it.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 06:58 am (UTC)And a baby it shall remain, because it is NOT getting any bigger.
*holds the hellchild down in holy water* BURN, DEMONBRAT! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 08:51 am (UTC)Also, not only does she copy Alice's stupid 'dancey walk' (I dislike Alice) but it puts that horrible flash 'dancing baby' in my mind but with curls. I would find you the link, but it would mean risking seeing it.
As you said, why would they even need to go to Brazil? Damphirs (or other half vampire things) are mostly from European legend so why not go there? Isn't it just convenient the the rumours of other 'one of a kind' demon spawn come from America's back yard? In the same place Bella and Eddypoo went on their honeymoon? Please don't tell me that the Volturi don't operate in South America or I will have to call them the shittiest vampire police ever.
Well, at least we finally have vampires making people wary like Edward said in the first book (it's why no-one will sit near them. Apparently.). And then Bella derides them for it. Silly Leah, silly Sue: Vampires Will Never Hurt You!
Wait a second, question! *Raises hand* When did Irina find out a) that there were werewilves in Forks b) that Laurent was killed by them? Did I miss something?
By the way, research time! Carlisle's comments about John of England selling the crown jewells set off someting within me, so I did a little bit of research (granted on Wiki) and found out that John did lose the jewels...to the tide. There are rumours that he did leave them somewhere as collateral on a loan, but since he was dying of illness at the time, incredibly unpopular anyway and old historians are likley to make stuff up if they don't like a person and the tide that day is suspectd to be a bit freakish (possibly a small tsunami due to undersea landslides, at least that's what science thinks) these are highly suspect. So, yeah...I don't know what that was supposed to achieve, but I know a bit more English history now.
In summary: I hate this baby; I hate Bella; I hate Jacob (don't think I forgot about him, oooh no); I hate all the convenience and I hate you Meyer.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 11:22 am (UTC)Probably because Meyer's hooked on the "magical Native" thing, same as with the Native Americans as wolves (at least she does say there were European werewolves, but we know nothing about them).
It's times like that when I want to shake Bella and shout "JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE AN IDIOT WITH NO SURVIVAL SKILLS DOESN'T MEAN THAT WE ALSO ARE!"
Well...we don't find out, really. Not unless it was covered in "Eclipse". I guess Carlisle was friends with them and might have told them about the wolves and then Laurent if they asked where he went... I don't know.
Actually, the jewels apparently *were* pawned in John of England's time, but not by him. They were pawned by Elinore of Aquitaine, to pay ransom for her son Richard (John's brother) when he was being held prisoner by Henry VI, Holy Roman Emperor.
Well summarized and I agree with you. Thank you for reading!
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-16 07:52 am (UTC)Well...we don't find out, really. Not unless it was covered in "Eclipse". I guess Carlisle was friends with them and might have told them about the wolves and then Laurent if they asked where he went... I don't know.
Dare I say, plot hole then? I'm no expert on Eclipse but from what I can gather from my own read and Das_Mervin's (lj fail)sporks Irina dosen't come up much except to say that she liked Laurent.
I look forward to your updates you know! I love your sporking.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-16 12:17 pm (UTC)Call plot hole ahoy. There're so many in this series that the thing looks like Swiss cheese. I know about as much about Eclipse as you do (I might read the actual thing one day, but after "Twilight" I'm not all that eager...)
Aw, thanks! I really appreciate the feedback! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-15 07:41 pm (UTC)That's a good point. Certainly Bloodrayne and Blade weren't from Latin America. I find it odd that Romania has never been mentioned in this series, given that it's the hometown of Count Dracula and the place where a lot of the vampire myths came from.
But, then again, Meyer would probably botch up Romania like she did Forks. And even though Romania has taken advantage of and benefited from the tourism of vampire and Dracula fans, just like the town of Forks has taken advantage of its "Twilight" fame, I'm not so sure about how Romanians feel about their country being mainly known for its association with vampires. (Well, that and its notorious number of orphaned children and child trafficking, but that's an even *worse* reputation, and I think that of the two, they'd prefer the vampires!)
I've heard that many Romanians are upset that Bram Stoker even based his famous vampire off of the real Vlad Dracula at all, and thus gave him such a bad reputation. I remember watching a program on the History Channel about vampire myths throughout history, and one Romanian historian said that the Romanian reaction to the comparison of Vlad the Impaler to a monster was considered the same as what the American reaction would be to the comparison of Abraham Lincoln to a crazy serial killer. *shrugs*
But to get back on track, yes, it is very odd that Meyer chose to stick with Brazil, instead of exploring other countries as well. Maybe it was just for convenience.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-16 03:11 am (UTC)I don't have children but I'm the first born of my house and I've raised 5 kids of 9. I've been raising kids ever since I was 8 and they adore me. My cousin loves me because I've always been there for her even in kinder when she dirtied her underwear and I had to come from 7th grade to clean her up because the teacher didn't want to. She was so embarrased and scared the other kids would make fun of her and that I hated her for pulling me out of class for that. I always brushed her tears away and told her I loved her too much to be mad and I would take her to my house, do her homework with her and cook her a meal until her mother showed up.
My baby sister loves me so much she calls me mom (She was burn at the start of summer so guess who had to raise her). When I went to study to the USA for a semester she would only fall asleep on my bed and my mom had to get a web cam because my sister could not be still unless she saw me once a day because who raised her? Me! Who sang her Lunar: SSSC theme song as a lullaby? Me. Who Bathed, dressed, and spent her allowance on the baby of the family? Me! So she's very protective of me. Heck, all my baby siblings are, even my bratty 13 year old sister will give you a death glare and go crazy monkey on you if you mess with me and don;t get me started on my cousin. Why? I'm pretty much their mother! Heck I call them my little chicks and they would build a shrine to me if they could. But that's because of our bond so I totally feel where you're coming from. As my mother said, only thing that you haven't done for them is push them out of your body.
And, as I said before, I approve on Leah being beta and jacob disappearing. You know Leah is beta because Jacob totally wants to bolt. At the end of the day it will be Leah ruling the pack.
But, I don't get it. Jacob can't leave, right? I'm pretty sure none of them can't physically leave because if they could Leah would so have bolted ages ago. So how can Demonspawn and Jacob be together?
(no subject)
Date: 2010-03-16 03:31 am (UTC)Daw, that's so sweet! :') I've never had children either and my younger brother is just two years below me. But I babysat for my neighbor's kids and yes they bickered and there was that unholy night I had to try to convince the sister to take her cold medicine, but for most of the time they were sweet and fun and I loved looking after them. If you were to ask my entire Child Development class, they'd agree. For our second semester, we held preschool sessions. So basically, we took one class of normally kind of grumpy or tired high school kids, gave them free rein to run around and play with some four-year-olds, and suddenly everyone was laughing and happy. When there was the little boy who had a hard time leaving his mother, we tried to figure out ways to make it easier. When the little girls in the group drew cute love pictures for the only boy in the class, we all laughed and said how sweet it was.
And personally, I think that Rosalie should just take the kid and raise her all herself. Because she actually wanted a baby and is doing all of the work anyway. Bella's first thoughts on her baby were how pretty it would be. Gah.
"But, I don't get it. Jacob can't leave, right? I'm pretty sure none of them can't physically leave because if they could Leah would so have bolted ages ago. So how can Demonspawn and Jacob be together?"
Technically wolves *can* leave, but they can't separate totally from the pack. They're still mind-linked as wolves and have to obey the Alpha's orders. If you'll recall, Jake was introduced in this God-forsaken book as having been living in the wilderness for some time with no contact home.
Hey I'm new here
Date: 2011-04-19 03:56 pm (UTC)And I can't wait to read the City of Bones spork, I just read that book, and I couldn't even finish it because of how awful it was.
Re: Hey I'm new here
Date: 2011-04-19 09:13 pm (UTC)Don't worry, you don't sound like Edward until you start going on about staring at someone for an eternity. XD
But yeah, thank you very much! And yes, City of Bones REALLY needs a sporking. -_- Somehow Ms Claire has made almost every character in that book into a total jerk.
Re: Hey I'm new here
Date: 2011-04-19 11:36 pm (UTC)Oh but don't forget how awesome Simon is. Actually, the only reason I liked him at first was because he was the only character out of the main cast who doesn't worship the ground Jace walks on. I'm not kidding Isabelle, Clary (Claire/Clare) and Alec all want to do him.
And something interesting I noticed, Isabelle and Jace are liket the exact same character: They are both Hawt, attracting people of the opposite sex, and because of it, are both shallow and mean.
For all this, Jace is considered an irristable bad boy. And Isabelle is vilified as a slut and a bitch. Oh double standards.
I'm sorry for the long post lol. But yeah, I love your stuff, can't wait for the spork!
Re: Hey I'm new here
Date: 2011-04-20 12:48 am (UTC)Actually, I've heard that Isabelle is supposed to be based on the original character Rhysenn Malfoy from Clare's Draco Trilogy. I haven't read that far into the trilogy, but if Clare wrote it as all the Malfoys are incredibly hot and snarky jerks, it would make sense that their expies are.
I personally found myself really hating Alec, right about when he got all jealous of Clary and told to her to home - after he found out that her home was completely pillaged and destroyed and full of monsters and she lost her mother and was pretty much alone in the world. >_<
XD Things should be moving again around the start of May. My classes are wrapping up and I've got a lot of stuff to get done. But it should get started not long after that. ^_^
Re: Hey I&#39;m new here
Date: 2011-04-20 01:10 am (UTC)I've never read the Draco Trilogy, I was only about 5 when it came out XD. I heard it was the birthplace of Draco in Leather pants, which doesn't seem like a good sign.....
Idk when I write stories, its more about the messages that the characters portray as they go from flawed to not flawed (not gonna say perfect). It should be the reader's choice whether they like them or not, they just have to see that the characters change for the better. I think, lol Thats how I write at least.
But thats good, I can't wait. People like you make the internet an awesome place XD.
I'm only in high school, so I wouldn't know how your classes work, but it seems complicated. People are always on vacation at different times in colleges and high school.
Re: Hey I&amp;#39;m new here
Date: 2011-04-20 04:04 am (UTC)I only learned about the Draco Trilogy recently. ^^; I know it was at least one of the first fics to portray Malfoy in a sympathetic manner, and I know it popularized the idea that Lucius was abusive (boy was THAT one proven wrong! :P)
Oh yeah, I love complex characters! ^^ But you know, if character development's your thing, I highly recommend the Chronicles of Prydain. The entire series follows the fantasy adventures of a kid named Tarren. In the first book, they can hardly move from one place to another without bickering and by the last book, they're all really great warriors who care for each other. ^^ One of my favorite fantasy series ever!
Oh, my courses are pretty similar to high school courses. The only difference is that depending on the course, I may or may not have an actual final. So I actually have no finals this term, but I do have a bunch of end-of-semester papers to turn in. ^^; But thank you very much! :)