Crescendo: Chapter 11 (Part 2)
Apr. 20th, 2013 10:45 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: And lo, we see how this all can become even dumber!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 11 (Part 2)
Nora continues to hide in the garage for twenty minutes, and apparently still no one notices this. You'd think people living in such a dangerous part of town would be a little more sensitive to strangers driving their cars into their garage, but nope! She's obviously terrified that her pursuer will find her again if she drives out, but for no reason at all never considers calling the police for help. Given what's going to be coming up, this is incredibly stupid for more reasons than the obvious.
She finally leaves the garage and goes speeding for home. Of course, this results in her getting pulled over by a police cruiser. She tells us that "I knew I’d been speeding, and I was frustrated at myself for doing it, but of all the nights to get pulled over". Erm, why are you so upset about attracting the police's attention? Did you forget that you think you have a psycho chasing you?! Not to mention, you're speeding down side streets in a neighborhood! Where there are potentially people or pets wandering around, and in danger of you running over them! Of course the police would notice that! It's not like you're peeling down some remote highway in No Man's Land!
Anyway, she pulls over and the police officer walks over. Surprise, surprise, it's Detective Basso. If you don't remember who he is, I don't blame you. Like most of the characters of the previous book, he had little to no actual presence. You might, however, remember him as the insane officer who thought Nora was dating Patch by virtue of the fact that he gave her a ride home. So this ought to give you an idea of how intelligent this upcoming scene is.
And because this scene's just too painful to summarize, we are having it sporked. Yes
-----------
“Well, well,” Detective Basso said. “Long time no see.”
Any other cop, I thought. Any other.
ZeldaQueen: You'd think you'd be used to contrived coincidences by now, Nora. Your creator's pretty fond of them.
He flashed his ticket pad. “License and registration, you know the drill.”
ZeldaQueen: And why would he assume she knows the drill? If she'd had a ton of speeding violations, I could buy that. So far though, as we know, she's not a repeat offender. And no, Fitzpatrick, I'm pretty sure that in real life, a police officer wouldn't taken it for granted that someone they pulled over would "know the drill", especially for their first offense
Since I knew there was no talking my way around a ticket, not with Detective Basso, I didn’t see the point in putting on any pretense of contrition.
ZeldaQueen: ,.. Well that's a great attitude to have. "Since it's not going to get me out of a ticket, no sense in cooperating or showing remorse!" How about the idea that you do feel bad that you were speeding and putting people or property at risk, you damned sociopath?! Or, if that idea's too difficult for you to grasp, what about this? Even if you're going to be fined for something no matter what, it's still a terrible idea to not cooperate! Because guess what? Pissing off an officer is never a good idea! Given how many assholes they come across who try to attack them or make a break for it, they do have the right to make things worse for you if they are given probable cause. Even if you aren't dragged downtown, you're seriously upping your chances of getting a very hefty ticket. And given how money's so tight for you, that's not a great thing, is it?
Incidentally, how is she so sure he won't let her off more lightly? She hardly knows the guy!
“I didn’t know detective work included filling out speeding tickets.”
He gave a razor thin smile. “Where’s the fire?”
“Can I just get my ticket and go home?”
“Any alcohol in the car?”
ZeldaQueen: And here is where the whole thing goes even dumber. I left those lines interrupted so you could get an idea of how the exchange went. Now, I'll spork the lines -
“I didn’t know detective work included filling out speeding tickets.”
ZeldaQueen: This right here is where we see yet again that Nora has no damned brain in her head. I'm sure most of you already know this, but baiting the police in any situation is a terrible idea! In fact, let's look at what's stated in NOLO's legal encyclopedia, particularly Rule Five on what to do if pulled over -
"Don't speak first. Especially don't start off with a defensive or hostile 'What's the problem?' or similar words. Let the officer start talking. He or she will probably ask to see your license and vehicle registration. Many people make the mistake of insisting the officer tell them why they were stopped before they'll comply. Don't make that mistake. Reply "okay" or "sure," then hand over the documents"
ZeldaQueen: Clearly this has not sunk into Nora's empty head. Not only is she being hostile, but she's actively insulting Basso. She's basically saying "What's a great detective like you doing, handling a lowly job like speeding tickets?
And why in God's name is she doing that? No, really! I have no idea! That's like something Miles Edgeworth might get away with, because he's a famous prosecutor! Nora's a dumb sixteen-year-old pulled over for speeding. Does she think talking like that's going to impress him?
Not to mention, does Fitzpatrick think that this is making Nora seem oh-so-witty? No! This isn't The Maltese Falcon, where the snarky detective can mouth off to the police and get away with it! This is a bratty teenager just digging herself deeper! Also, wasn't Nancy Drew supposed to be a one of your inspirations for detectives? Do you think she would act like this? The Nancy Drew I remember was always polite to authority figures, even if she didn't agree with them!
"He gave a razor thin smile. 'Where’s the fire?'"
ZeldaQueen: Granted I've never been pulled over, but I'd think an officer would be a bit more professional and, I don't know, ask her if she has any idea how fast she was going. My main point here, though, is that I get the sense that Nora and Basso are engaging in two entirely different conversations. I mean, "I didn't know detectives filled out speeding tickets" "Where's the fire"? Did we miss a line in there? It just jumps from one thing to another!
"'Can I just get my ticket and go home?'"
ZeldaQueen: Yet again, how do those lines of dialogue work? "Where's the fire?" to "Can I get my ticket and go home?" How does anyone think this dialogue works at all? It's terrible! It just doesn't line up!
However, here we see a huge flaw with this scene. Nora is just being petulant and rude. Again, I think pretty much every viewer here can say that whining to an officer "Give me my ticket and let me go home" is a recipe for disaster. But what I want to know is why she's being so anxious to get rid of him. Did she forget about the guy chasing her??? She's got a police officer right there! If she's so terrified, instead of being pissy while getting pulled over, why not immediately tell Basso "I didn't realize I was speeding. Someone was chasing me and I thought they were going to kill me and I was trying to get somewhere safe as quickly as possible." Not only would it be getting the police to help out, but it would have her being more reasonable and possibly have him feel more sympathetic and let her off more lightly.
Seriously, what's up with her behavior? All I can think of is that Fitzpatrick thinks that talking back to police officers makes Nora look cool and snarky. It really doesn't work.
Also, whatever happened to her showing him her license and registration? It just was forgotten about! And yes, there are other issues, but I'll get to those in a minute
“'Any alcohol in the car?'”
ZeldaQueen: And the award for the Biggest Topic Jump goes to this line.
I suspect that Fitzpatrick just put it in because she thinks That's what Officers Do - they pull someone over and immediately check for alcohol. Because you know, drunk driving is the only reason for speeding! Everyone can just sit down while I explain how it works, mkay?
See, the police operate under a fun thing called "probable cause". This means that yes, they have the right to search cars for illegal items like alcohol, weapons, or drugs. HOWEVER, they cannot do so until they are given some reason to suspect it's there.
So what I want to know is what's Basso's reason? Nora hasn't got anything like that in the car, so he can't be seeing it. No one was drinking or smoking pot or anything in the car, so he can't be smelling or otherwise noting odd traces. We weren't told that Nora did any movements that indicated she was hiding anything. That just leaves him thinking he smells alcohol on her breath. And given what's going to happen... well, see for yourself!
“Have a look around,” I said, spreading my hands.
He opened the door for me. “Get out.”
“Why?”
ZeldaQueen: Again, this is a big no-no. Officers make the call if you talk in the car or out. Not complying until they tell you what's going on is just going to get you into more trouble. And again, this is just making Nora sound like a whiny bint who deserves to be pistol-whipped
“Get out” —he pointed at the dashed line bisecting the road— “and walk the line.”
ZeldaQueen: . . .
Pardon?
Am I to understand that a police officer tells a girl who he seems to think is drunk to take the line-walking test down the line dividing the street lanes?
In other words, he's testing Nora's sobriety by having her walk down the middle of the damned street?
IS HE TRYING TO KILL HER?
This...just...I... AUGH! What the fuck?!? How is this guy still a police officer? I don't care that it's night, PEOPLE CAN STILL GET HIT THAT WAY!!! That's why police officers put down their own lines, on the side of the road, WELL AWAY FROM THE THREAT OF ONCOMING TRAFFIC!
At this point, I think it's safe to say that Nora has the grounds to contact an attorney about this. According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, "in order for this test to be accurate the ground where the test is performed must be dry, hard, level, nonslippery with sufficient room to maneuver. It cannot be too close to traffic either". I think making her walk down the middle of the street violates that just a little.
*tiredly* Onward, folks
“You think I’m drunk?”
ZeldaQueen: Normally I'd sarcastically say "No, he's doing it for laughs", but so far as I can tell, that's precisely what he's doing!
“I think you’re crazy, but I’m checking your sobriety while I’ve got you here.”
ZeldaQueen: And yes, he just admitted that he's doing this for the heck of it. Again, PROBABLE CAUSE. She's not acting drunk, she doesn't have the smell of alcohol on her breath, she hasn't been found with bottles of booze in her car, so why's he so determined to check her sobriety???
Incidentally, why does he think she's crazy? Because she's speeding? It can't be because of the stuff of the last book, because no one's mentioned that. She hasn't told him about her escapades in the library, so it can't be that. Why does he already think she's nuts?
I swung out and slammed the door shut behind me.
ZeldaQueen: Lovely. She was having a lovely chat of sniping with an incompetent officer this whole time. That just makes her look fantastic
“How far?”
“Until I tell you to stop.”
ZeldaQueen: This test is known as the Walk-And-Turn test, or the Nine-Step-Walk-And-Turn test. There are eight points that an officer looks for when they have someone do it -
if the suspect cannot keep his or her balance during instructions,
starts too soon,
stops while walking,
doesn't touch heel-to-toe,
steps off line,
uses arms to balance,
performs improper turn or turns incorrectly, or
takes incorrect amount of steps. (The correct number of steps, obviously, being nine)
ZeldaQueen: According to the NHTSA, failing two or more of those eight points is an indicator of driving under the influence.
When giving the test, officers have instructions they must follow. They must verbally instruct the suspect on the heel-to-toe position to assume, as well as show them how it's done. They must instruct the suspect to not begin the test until a command to do so is given, and they must have confirmation that the suspect understands the instructions.
Basso has not given Nora any of the instructions. He simply told her to walk the line. He didn't tell her the heel-to-toe position to walk. He didn't tell her she must take nine steps. He didn't tell her she must make a turn at the end of the walk. He didn't tell her to begin on his signal. So thus, Nora would likely fail points two, four, seven, and eight by virtue of the fact that she wasn't informed of them.
Besides informing Nora of what she must do, the instructions are meant to serve the purpose of giving more clues as to whether or not a suspect is under the influence. For example, most intoxicated people are unable to listen to the instructions and keep the heel-to-toe position.
So not only is Basso setting up Nora to fail the test by virtue of not giving her sufficient information, but he's screwing himself over by not getting the clues to see if she really is intoxicated. But that's okay, because he just forgets about actually doing the test! No, really! Read on!
I concentrated on planting my feet on the line, but every time I looked down, my vision slanted. I could still feel the effects of the drug pecking away at my coordination, and the harder I concentrated on keeping my feet on the line, the more I felt myself swaying off into the road.
ZeldaQueen: That's one mighty convenient drug there. Did it just magically turn off while you were driving? And no, I don't buy that it was the fear of escape that overcame it temporarily, because you got out of the car and walked to the line just fine, and seemed pretty clear after hiding in that garage. Why wasn't the ground slanting those times? Does the drug just hang around in your body for several hours and only discriminate against lines?
“Can’t you just give me the ticket, slap my wrist, and send me home?” My tone was insubordinate, but I’d gone cold on the inside.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, you only now realized how rude you're being? And again, why didn't you explain earlier? This just makes it look like you are drunk but don't want to own up to it, which I'm sure plenty of other teenagers have pulled
If I couldn’t walk the line, Detective Basso might throw me in jail.
ZeldaQueen: Um, hon? That's not all he could do if he books you for being intoxicated. Not only would he have you for drunk driving, but you're also sixteen. As in five years below the legal age for drinking. Again, it'd be your first offense so going back to NOLO, we have first-time minor intoxication in Maine giving "a fine of not less than $200 and not more than $400. The judge may—at the judge’s discretion—suspend the minor’s license for up to 30 days".
Of course, given how poorly Bassos been handling this, he should be worrying about you contacting an attorney about this all.
Actually, this is all making Basso look extremely creepy. Nora, despite supposedly being a straight-A, Harvard-bound girl, clearly has no idea of her rights or what might be happening to her. This is really coming across as Basso taking advantage of her not knowing this stuff
I was already shaken, and I didn’t think I could handle a night behind bars. What if the man from the library came after me again?
ZeldaQueen: In jail? Surrounded by police officers? Freddy Krueger managed that because he could go through dreams. Yes this guy's freaky, but there's no evidence that he can walk through walls or anything.
And funny, you really don’t sound shaken!
“A lot of small-town cops would let you off the hook like that, sure. Some would even take a bribe. I’m not one of them.”
ZeldaQueen: It seems Basso's working hard to catch up to Nora as a completely unlikable asshole. Dude, she told you to just give her a ticket and let her on her way. How is doing that letting her off the hook? You have no reason to put her through an alcohol test! What the fuck? And as we're going to see in a second, you do exactly what she asks! You give her a ticket and send her on her way!
And lovely dig at small-town cops there. "Ha ha, small-town cops are lazy and corrupt and take bribes, because you let one first-time speeder off with a warning and you go right on to bribery territory! A-yep!"
It's also rich, given to something I'll be talking about in a minute
“Does it matter that I was drugged?”
ZeldaQueen: Oh, now you're bringing that up? When it looks like you giving an excuse for being drunk? Not to mention, saying it in the most flippant way possible hardly will convince anyone that you were fleeing for your life!
He laughed darkly. “Drugged.”
ZeldaQueen: And you're no better! She just told you see was drugged and your response is to laugh at her?! Folks, I'll be ranting about this in depth later (boy-howdy will I), but while I'm sure there have been officers who don't believe stories they're told, I'm just tired of every authority figure Nora goes to for help flat-out ignoring or laughing at her. All this series does is say that there's no point in going to people like the police to help, because they certainly won't believe you!
“My ex-boyfriend gave me a card laced with perfume earlier tonight. I opened the card, and the next thing I knew, I passed out.” When Detective Basso didn’t interrupt me, I pressed forward. “I slept for more than two hours. When I woke up, the library was closed. I was locked in the media lab. Someone had tied the doorknob….” I trailed off, closing my mouth.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* Yes, we generally assume that when a person stops talking, they close their mouth. Usually people note if the mouth hangs open and one isn't talking
He gestured for more. “Come on, now. Don’t leave me at that cliffhanger.”
ZeldaQueen: "Say what you must, don't leave me there". Basso seems to be channeling his inner Valjean.
I realized a moment too late that I’d just incriminated myself. I’d put myself at the library, tonight, in the media lab. First thing tomorrow, when the library opened, they were going
to report the broken window to the police. And I had no doubt who Detective Basso would come looking for first.
ZeldaQueen: Normally I'd wonder what would make Nora think that a police officer would be so heartless as to arrest someone for falling asleep, getting locked in a building, and having to escape. However, as we've established, authority figures in this series are useless jerks
“You were in the media lab,” he prompted. “What happened next?”
ZeldaQueen: You know, if Basso hadn't been such a dickwad thus far, this would actually sound like him being a reasonable officer, trying to figure out what's going on
Too late to back out now. I’d have to finish and hope for the best. Maybe something I said would convince Detective Basso it wasn’t my fault—that everything I’d done was justified.
ZeldaQueen: Something you said, like - oh, I don't know - being drugged? And for those of you saying that he doesn't believe it, I'll bring that too up in a minute.
“Someone had tied the door to the media lab shut. I threw a computer through the window to get out.”
He tipped his head back and laughed. “There’s a name for girls like you, Nora Grey. Crazy makers. You’re like the fly that nobody can shoo away.”
ZeldaQueen: That's... that's fucking great, that's what it is. He asked her to tell him what happened, and then flat-out told her "I think you're just a crazy wimmunz who keeps causing problems." Yes, I know plenty of police officers are likely used to getting insane stories from teenagers they pull over, but he asked her what happened. He kept prompting her! And now he just laughs and acts like this is all some great game?
And what does he mean "the fly that nobody can shoo away"? This is the first time they've met in this book, face-to-face. The last time was the end of Hush, Hush, which was two months ago. In total, they've met in person three times, counting this one. That hardly suggests that she's constantly in his business. I mean, she's hardly Sammy Keyes, running into the same police officer every other chapter in every book!
He walked back to his patrol car and stretched the radio out the open driver’s-side door. Radioing dispatch, he said, “I need someone to swing by the library and check out the media lab. Let me know what you find.”
ZeldaQueen: Does the library not have some kind of an alarm system, incidentally? I'd think that breaking a window and running outside would trigger some burglar alarm, but that's just me.
He leaned back against his car, eyes flicking to his watch. “How many minutes do you think it’ll take for them to get back to me? I’ve got your confession, Nora. I could book you for trespassing and vandalism.”
ZeldaQueen: At this point, I can only conclude that Basso is fucking with Nora. He’s threatening to arrest a scared teenager before he even verifies her story, including the drugging part
“Trespassing would imply I wasn’t tied inside the library against my will.” I sounded nervous.
ZeldaQueen: You only sound nervous, mind you. You aren’t really. I mean, it's not like you're the narrator and we're inside your head. And, after all, if you actually were nervous, why would you still be sniping at a cop? *rolls eyes*
“If someone drugged you and trapped you in the lab, what are you doing here now, roaring down Hickory at fifty-five miles an hour?”
ZeldaQueen: Oh dear lord! She TOLD you, you moron! SHE BROKE A WINDOW AND ESCAPED! As for why she’s speeding down a road, no duh! I think most people would be trying to get the Hell out of Dodge after escaping a kidnapping attempt!
“I wasn’t supposed to get away. I broke out of the room while he was coming up the elevator to get me.”
ZeldaQueen: Which you already told him, if you recall. Why are these people so stupid?
“He? You saw him? Let’s have a description.”
ZeldaQueen: Oh, they’re only just now getting to that? You’d think the question of if she saw a would-be kidnapper would have come up before now, but better late than never
“I didn’t see him, but it was a guy. His footsteps were heavy when he came down the stairwell after me. Too heavy for a girl.”
ZeldaQueen: Oh, really?
ZeldaQueen: Brienne of Tarth begs to differ, you sexist dipshit. Oh, and what happened just last book? A woman attacked Vee and mind raped the both of you into thinking she appeared masculine!
Yes, yes, I know this is one of those moments where Nora Is Right, purely because Fitzpatrick is beaming information into her head. The fact remains that Nora sucks as a detective. That’s right up there with Encyclopedia Brown guessing that Bugs Meany hid a coin in a hot dog bun, because of the way relish and ketchup was put on it. You hear that, Fitzpatrick? Your incredibly smart little Nancy Drew wannabe is matching Encyclopedia Brown for sheer ridiculous theories.
“You’re stammering. Usually that means you’re lying.”
ZeldaQueen: Or have a speech impediment. Or are scared. Again, WHAT COP WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT? It doesn’t make sense and it just is coming across as mean-spirited! It’s one thing for him to say to Nora “Alright kid, enough’s enough. Stop trying to talk your way out of a speeding ticket”. It’s quite another for him to constantly ridicule and needle her like that. I mean, he pulled her over for a speeding ticket! This isn't Good Cop, Bad Cop, with a suspect in solitary! Not to mention that, as I’ve said many, many times before now, he’s giving her plenty of ammo to sue his ass.
And Fitzpatrick? His comment makes no sense, given that Nora wasn’t stammering. So either he’s pretending she is and heckling her for it, which makes him even more of a douche, or you forgot to give your character an actual voice. Frankly, one’s as likely as the other
“I’m not lying. I was tied in the lab, and someone was coming up the elevator to get me.
“Right.”
“Who else would have been in the building that late?” I snapped.
ZeldaQueen: I think the more appropriate question is “who rigs an elaborate set-up to keep a door closed?” since that would be the first sign that Something’s Rotten in Denmark. I mean, not many public libraries that I know of rely on keeping the place secure and locked up with bits of string tied to the door handles
“A janitor?” he offered easily.
ZeldaQueen: Much as it pains me to say this, he has a point there
“He wasn’t dressed like a janitor. When I looked up in the stairwell, I saw dark pants and dark tennis shoes.”
“So when I take you to court, you’re going to tell the judge you’re an expert on janitorial apparel?”
ZeldaQueen: Yet again, a point. How are dark pants and dark tennis shoes unusual for a janitor to wear? Those were exactly what I wore when I worked at Wendy’s, and I’d imagine they’d be fine for a janitor since dirt and the like wouldn’t show up on it as much. Now, if they were dark designer pants and shoes, I could understand saying they weren’t janitor apparel. This, though, just makes me regret not starting an Idiot Deductions count
“The guy followed me out of the library, got into his car, and chased me. A janitor wouldn’t do that.”
The radio popped with static, and Detective Basso leaned inside for the receiver.
“Finished walking through the library,” a man’s voice crackled through the radio. “Nothing.”
Detective Basso cut cool, suspicious eyes to me. “Nothing? You sure?”
“I repeat: nothing.”
Nothing? Instead of relief, I felt panic. I’d smashed the lab window. I had. It was real. It wasn’t my imagination. It—wasn’t.
Calm down! I ordered myself. This had happened before. It wasn’t new. In the past, it was always a mind game. It was someone working behind the scenes, trying to manipulate my mind. Was it happening all over again? But … why? I needed to think this through. I shook my head, ridiculously wishing the gesture would shake out an answer.
ZeldaQueen: *rubbing head* Okay guys, here’s the scoop. The person who chased Nora can mind rape people. I’m not even saying that’s a spoiler, since mind rape comes standard for everyone in this damned series. On a fansite for this tripe, there was debate as to where, exactly, the mind rape took place - whether the attacker only tricked Nora into thinking she broke the window, or if they made the cops think that nothing was broken. General consensus was that it was the latter, and I can only assume that’s what it was.
However, our extremely brilliant little sleuth here seems to be forgetting two ways she can prove her story, if that is indeed the case.
The first is simple. Go back to the library in the morning. The attacker might mindrape the cops into not noticing the broken glass and busted computer, but he can’t stick around all night and day until it gets fixed (and no, Fitzpatrick, I will not buy that one person fixed an entire window and either fixed or replaced a computer, especially overnight). Sooner or later, he’d have to leave. Then, guess what? No more illusions, and suddenly there’s an unexplained shattered window and smashed computer. And I assure you, both would be well-noticed, especially as neither would be exactly cheap to replace.
“But wait!” some of you might be saying, “What if Basso would just ignore that? He’s been ignoring everything else she’s said!” Well, he can’t exactly ignore this. Reason? He had other officers check it out. He radioed in several other cops, told them Nora’s story, and told them to check the library. Even if he was so determined to shoot Nora down, I somehow think that two or more cops who heard her story and then found the library mysteriously vandalized exactly as she described, not long after it was established as clean, would figure something strange was afoot.
Now, that all takes the assumption that Nora really did break the window. There’s always the other possibility though, that the attacker made Nora only think she did that. Maybe he made her think the door was locked and that she had to smash the window, while in reality the door was open and she just walked through. Granted that begs the question of why bother knock her out and put her in the room to begin with, but we’ll not bother with such Earth logic. Spoilers - the villain here has no reason to do about ninety percent of the shit he does. He even brags at the end that most of it was simply for his own amusement. So we can’t rely on that sort of sense in this case.
Regardless, that would explain why there’s nothing to back up Nora’s story. So obviously the first suggestion wouldn’t work. Want to know what would?
Check the fucking garbage can.
Remember the letter with the knock-out gas on it? Which Nora ripped up and threw in the garbage? It should still be there. The only reason it wouldn’t is if a janitor emptied the wastebasket, and if that were the case, why didn’t said janitor notice a girl passed out on the floor? (And no, no one can say that the attacker was there and mind raped the janitor into not noticing. Fitzpatrick wrote the attacker as being somewhere else at this time. This is why it’s important to keep track of one’s characters, you know?)
So yes. Tell the police to look for the pieces of that card. Have them examine it. There has to be some remains of the knock-out gas. At the very least, the card should be there and be some indicator that Nora isn't talking out of her ass.
For that matter, have them examine Nora! She inhaled the stuff less than twenty-four hours ago! She nearly fell on her head minutes ago, so she obviously was still somewhat affected by it! It would at the very least prove she was drugged! Now granted, I can't say how long the effects of knockout gas remain in the human body (there really isn't much to find, at least where I checked), but I know that knockout drugs in general are detectable in hair, blood, and urine for roughly seventy-two hours after consumption. Nora was knocked out a little more than two hours ago. Detecting the drugs is still quite possible, under those guidelines.
And yes, I know a high school girl probably wouldn’t think of all of this. If this were a different book and a different protagonist, I might not mind so much. This, though? This is not a scared teenager forgetting about her rights and options while in a panic. This is Nora doing what she always does - she gets in a bind, she puts up a token protest, and then just lies down and lets the person going against her walk all over her. She refuses to ever do anything to stand up for herself, even when there are very obvious options she could take! In the last book alone…
- She lay down and let her teacher have her sit next to Patch, even though she knew it was violating the student handbook. The idea of going to the principle - or even the superintendent - never occurred to her, even though she openly admitted that she didn’t feel safe and thought Patch would hurt her.
- She caved in and met Patch at a seedy, dangerous bar, under his terms, because he smugly refused to cooperate otherwise in helping her finish an assignment. She never considered explaining this lack of cooperation to the teacher, skipping the assignment entirely (it was hardly the end-of-term project), or considering the fact that she didn’t need Patch’s involvement to complete the assignment (she was only told to observe and make deductions about him, not interview him)
- She let Patch make himself at home in her house, when she clearly didn’t want him in there, instead of calling the police or some other such thing
- She let him drag her on a ride she hated and was afraid of, instead of simply telling him to piss off and leave her alone
- She let that waitress boss her around and make her order a ton of food in exchange for information, not thinking to report the waitress to her superiors for extortion, or even simply to slip out without paying or taking the food after getting what she needed to know. (She was not, after all, intending to ever go back to that restaurant again, and they would have had no way to find her)
- She forked over her hat, coat (and, by extension, her cell phone) to a homeless, implicitly insane, woman, instead of simply walking past
- She let Patch make arrangements for them to get a motel room and for him to drag her into said room, only protesting when she was inside, instead of making a fuss in the more public check-in area and demanding to see the manager (in other words, the exact opposite of Gehayi’s spite fic for that chapter)
Now, I’m not saying that Nora’s entirely to blame for all of those things. Given how Fitzpatrick has made Patch frigging omnipotent compared to Nora, there’s not much she can do against him if he makes up her mind. But the fact remains that she never considered safer ways out of her situations. If she suffered a loss, like with the teacher making her sit next to Patch, she never went about trying to improve the situation.
And that’s what’s going on here. Because after this chapter? She just forgets about this all. She gives the ticket one thought, in regards to why she should get a job. It never occurs to her to do something about it! She just accepts this all with mild annoyance! This might as well have never happened!
Detective Basso ripped the top sheet off his ticket pad and slapped it into my hand.
My eyes brushed over the balance at the bottom. “Two hundred and twenty-nine dollars?!”
“You were going thirty over and driving a car that doesn’t belong to you. Pay the fine, or I’ll see you in court.”
ZeldaQueen: First of all, I suppose we're to gather that Nora gave Basso her license and registration and just never told us. That's just sloppy writing, that is. There are some things that readers can figure out for themselves (like that a person usually closes their mouth while not talking), but something like that ought to get at least a mention. Maybe that's why these conversations are so disjointed. Fitzpatrick seems to simply have forgotten to mention actions that should be relevant.
From what I've gathered, the issue with driving another car isn't so much it being illegal, but it screwing up Vee's insurance. Of course, the matter of insurance is never actually touched upon. As my mother pointed out though, when I mentioned this scene to her, Nora is driving a car that's licensed in the name of someone who obviously isn't related to her. It's not like Basso found out that the car's in her mom's name, after all. He just caught Nora speeding her ass off, and doesn't seem to believe her kidnapping story. So why isn't he bringing up the idea that Nora stole the car. Yes, we know she was loaned it. Why would Basso know that, though? It's not like he hasn't got better things to do than keep track of Nora's tendency to borrow her friend's car. See, this is where him being paranoid about her getting into trouble would be justified! This is where he should be calling back-up and running a check to see if any cars were reported stolen that night, or else checking with Vee to confirm the story! What is with these people and logic?!?
Finally, why isn't the possibility of a suspended license coming up? According to Maine driving laws, speeding thirty miles per hour over the limit is enough to get a thirty-day suspension
“I—I don’t have this kind of money.”
“Get a job. Maybe it’ll keep you out of trouble.”
ZeldaQueen: Um, how do you know she doesn't have a job? Or is Basso yet another dude stalking and spying on Nora? At this point, I wouldn't be surprised
“Please don’t do this,” I said, injecting all the pleading that I possessed into my voice.
ZeldaQueen: Huh, maybe you should have thought of this before you mouthed off so much, Nora. What was that you said, about there being no point in pretend contrition?
Detective Basso studied me. “Two months ago a kid with no ID, no family, and no traceable past wound up dead in the high school gym.”
ZeldaQueen: Normally, I'd applaud Basso for finally growing a brain and realizing that Jules's death was more suspicious than the JFK assassination. It's a little too late for him to win my good favor, though
“Jules’s death was ruled a suicide,” I said automatically, but sweat tingled the back of my neck. What did this have to do with my ticket?
ZeldaQueen: He felt like reminiscing! What do you think, you brain-dead idiot?!
“The same night he disappeared, the high school counselor lit your house on fire, then did her own disappearing act. There’s a link between these two bizarre incidents.” His dark brown eyes pinned me in place. “You.”
“What are you saying?”
ZeldaQueen: WHAT. DO. YOU. THINK??? *beats head against wall*
“Tell me what really happened that night, and I can make your ticket go away.”
ZeldaQueen: Aaaand back to hating Basso! Hey, dear detective, didn't you just sneer at Nora for trying to get out of trouble? Didn't you say you weren't the sort of cop to let people off the hook, or accept bribes? What do you call this little arrangement? Just because it ain't money don't mean it ain't bribery you're angling for!
“I don’t know what happened,” I lied, because there was no alternative. Telling the truth would leave me worse off than having to pay the ticket. I couldn’t tell Detective Basso about fallen angels and Nephilim. He’d never believe my story if I fallen angels and Nephilim. He’d never believe my story if I confessed that Dabria was an angel of death. Or that Jules was a descendant of a fallen angel.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, I actually find this very understandable. Basso has done nothing but laugh at everything Nora has said. He's repeatedly called her crazy. He's dismissed her claims as lies or her imagination. He has done nothing to win her trust or convince her to tell him what happened.
I feel I should compare him to another detective I read recently, from another young adult series. He's Detective Marko, from the book Betrayed. He was only in for a handful of chapters, but he made a very good impression. The Suethors who wrote him wanted the same thing Fitzpatrick here was going for - a hardboiled detective involved in weirdness, who wants the protagonist to help out so he can figure out what's going on.
Unlike Basso here, Marko was a nice dude. He wasn't insulting or condescending to Zoey when he questioned her. He didn't dismiss what she said, or call her crazy. He knew she wasn't telling him the whole truth, but he trusted her to be open with him when she felt able. He never resorted to slapping her with a huge fine, to motivate her to talk. And when she did get back to him, asking him for help with a group of monsters she was being chased by, he immediately set about going to help her. He listened to what she had to say. He tried to help her out as best he could, while understanding that he couldn't force her into things. He was a good guy, and it was easy to support him.
And this little comparison made me realize that this book just caused me to give praise of any amount to the House of Night series. And now I'm extremely depressed
“Your call,” Detective Basso said, flicking his business card at me before folding himself inside his car. “If you change your mind, you know how to reach me.” I glanced at the card as he roared off. DETECTIVE ECANUS BASSO. 207-555-3333.
ZeldaQueen: Um, yeah. As I said before, why would she feel comfortable opening up to you? She already did, and you made fun of her! Yeah, sucks on her to not tell you everything!
Also, yes, the name "Ecanus" doesn't stand out at all. I'm so goddammed sure Basso isn't going to be important and involved with this conflict, in the future!
---------------------
And the rest of the chapter is Nora angsting over how to pay the ticket. And of course, her very last thoughts are on Patch, and how she refuses to swallow her pride and ask him for the money. Because heaven forbid every thought in her head not tie back to him in some way.
And with that, this chapter is over. Dear lord above, that was terrible!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 60
Onward to: Chapter 12
Return to: Chapter 11 (Part 1)
Back to Table of Contents
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(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 05:14 pm (UTC)...wow. WOW. WOW. This is like the "Renesmee moment". If I were reading this on my own, presuming that I could even get this far, this would probably be the ultimate wall-banger moment. For real? A name like ECANUS and the reader isn't supposed to think--because you'd have to be completely oblivious--only a coma patient--
Oh, Christ on a cracker. Nora isn't going to find this suspicious at all, is she?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 10:05 pm (UTC)And the ultimate of wallbangers? On Fitzpatrick's FAQ for the series, a lot of fans asked if perhaps, just maybe, it might be that Basso's got something going on with him. They didn't catch on to the name, apparently.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 08:28 pm (UTC)Why is everyone in this series a sexist jackass, an utter creep, batshit insane, and/or too dumb to live? I just need a character I don't hate.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 09:11 pm (UTC)Because that’s what Fitzpatrick is doing right now. Every single person in this town is loathsome and moronic, even when it doesn’t make sense, because Fitzpatrick needs them to be. She needs them to be stupid and she needs them to be hateful, because if good, intelligent, and decent people did live in this town, then Nora wouldn’t be helpless and alone. If good, intelligent, and decent people did live in this town, then it would’ve been much harder for Patch to get away with any of his heinous behavior. And if good, intelligent and decent people did live in this town, then they would threaten Patch’s end goal which so coincidentally matches up with Fizpatrick’s end goal for her series.
So, yes, I still maintain that Patch is Fitzpatrick’s avatar, not Nora. Patch is the one who has everything go his way, just like Fitzpatrick does because she’s the author. Fitzpatrick wants Nora to be frightened, hurt, isolated, and alone, just like Patch wants Nora to be frightened, hurt, isolated and alone, so she’ll remove any possible supportive character in the story, whether by forgetting about them or butchering their characterization.
Nora is supposed to be her heroine. She’s supposed to be the protagonist. And yet Fitzpatrick seems to take as much perverse delight in tormenting her and isolating her as Patch does. No wonder Patch is invincible. Not only does he have unstoppable powers, he’s even got his author on his side. Half the time, he doesn’t even need to do anything; his author does his job for him.
P.S. I’m getting very tired of this stupid YA trope where the protagonist stubbornly rejects the help of the police and behaves hostilely towards them for no reason because it’s supposed to make them look “independent” or “driven” or whatever. The police have resources and skills that an average teenager doesn’t. Rejecting such help when it’s offered by decent cops who are only trying to do their jobs doesn’t make the protagonists look cool; it makes them look pigheaded and childish.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 09:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-21 01:33 am (UTC)Nora is supposed to be her heroine. She’s supposed to be the protagonist. And yet Fitzpatrick seems to take as much perverse delight in tormenting her and isolating her as Patch does. No wonder Patch is invincible. Not only does he have unstoppable powers, he’s even got his author on his side. Half the time, he doesn’t even need to do anything; his author does his job for him."
This. Patch is Fitzpatrick having her cake and eating it too. He's the dream guy she wanted to date in high school, and he has all of the power.
Nora's author-induced passivity just is getting uncomfortable to read, I swear. It's one thing to read about a character like Charlie Brown, who constantly has terrible things happen, but at least tried his hardest to fight against the odds. It's like Nora has a split personality. One half of her desperately WANTS to fight back and come out on top, while the other half is happy with her being spineless and helpless, letting others take advantage of her.
In particular, there's an upcoming scene where Marcie is once again mocking Nora, forcing her to do something humiliating with the threat of getting her in trouble with an authority figure otherwise. There are many, many ways Nora could legitimately get out of listening to Marcie (Marcie is threatening to get Nora in trouble over not doing an assigned job, even though Marcie's request ISN'T a part of Nora's duties), but Nora never even considers any of them as possibilities. She just wibbles and mentally cries and goes through with it. And it's just horrible to watch, not in a way that makes you empathize with her, but because it's just uncomfortable to watch. She's not even *trying* to get herself out of the situation, even though she obviously hates it!
That's not even going into what happens near the end of this pile of crap. Oh no. No, not at all. NOT AT ALL. That is, in my opinion, where this all reaches its PEAK of having Nora be shat on, by making AN ENTIRE PUBLIC AREA FULL OF PEOPLE be callous and unfeeling and willfully ignorant of a seriously plight she's in. IT'S DISGUSTING.
And heck, this isn't even like Meyer's fantasies of Edward jumping in from On High to protect Dearest Bella from her own idiocy, because half of the time, Patch DOESN'T help her out! He's fine with joining in on shitting on her! I don't' GET this! *pulls at hair*
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 10:19 pm (UTC)I'm starting to wonder if the author has ever received a speeding ticket. Granted, I haven't either (I don't drive), but it makes you wonder.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-20 11:52 pm (UTC)But...no.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-21 04:55 am (UTC)That's the weird thing about this writing, though. We get NOTHING on Nora's thought process. She'll just say or do stuff, and half the time won't bother to narrate WHY. Like, I have no idea why she was being so snippy with Basso. She never gives any justification for acting that way. She just does.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-21 08:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-21 02:47 am (UTC)Moronic non sequiters? Then again, Basso is a massive fan of those himself.
I find it extremely amusing that the drug's effects on Nora kick in when she has to walk in a line. It's a blatant attempt for drama, except Fitzpatrick completely disregards the drug when it would have made sense for it to be a cause of drama—it doesn't even faze her when she's escaping from the school.
"I realized a moment too late that I’d just incriminated myself. I’d put myself at the library, tonight, in the media lab."
And guess what else is there, Nora? The perfume that collaborates your story. And odds are that the school would have security camer—no wait, that would make sense and be inconvenient for the story. My bad.
And on Ecanus: five seconds on Google. Five seconds to pretty much confirm what it seems like Fitzpatrick is going for. Not that it's not blatantly obvious, what with the unusual name.
But what really makes it is the mythological Ecanus's dominion: writing. Fitzpatrick used the name of an angel of writers as part of a massive cliché for a horribly-written character.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-22 03:19 am (UTC)I just saw that. If the payoff for this 'clue' isn't for two books, why the angel of writers? I cannot imagine what she's going for with this.
Also, with Basso, he wrote the ticket, gave it to her, and then offered to take it back? I was under the impression that once a ticket has been given, it can't be taken back. It should already be too late at that point.
That whole scene is nonsensical; not one thing follows the other.
Zelda, I don't know how you do it. I couldn't even finish CoA. :(
(no subject)
Date: 2013-04-22 09:11 am (UTC)A girl he's already pegged as bad news comes speeding down a suburban street in the dark of night and when he pulls her over, mouths off at him like a bratty teenager. This pisses him off so he makes her jump through some hoops - asking about alcohol and making her walk the line even though she doesn't seem drunk. However, when she's walking the line it turns out she's not entirely sober, and then she makes a comment about being drugged. Basso sees this as an attempt to cover but because he's (a) not a nice human being/good cop and (b) pissed off at her for being rude, he goes along with her (to him) obvious untruths in order to get in a bit of mockery. Then he gets bored of tormenting her and finally gives her a ticket.
His closing comment about making the ticket go away if she tells him what happened in the last book is a complete lie - why would that bother him? He just said that on the off chance that she'd tell him while under the influence.
Typo
Date: 2013-04-22 06:04 pm (UTC)Also, that name is worse than some of Meyer's subtle forshadowing.
Re: Typo
Date: 2013-05-19 01:48 am (UTC)