Crescendo: Chapter 7

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: In which Nora's common sense appears to be in the negative double digits



Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

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Chapter 7

ZeldaQueen: So, after an evening of nearly being violently attacked and apparently having an emotional breakdown, Nora gets up all bright-eyed and chipper. She narrates her morning routine in a bland, emotionless way, informing us that her mother is home and "her hair had a tousled, slept-on look, which was a nice way of saying she looked like a porcupine". That's very nice, Nora. What was the point of putting something nicely, and immediately saying it in rude terms?

We are treated to a description of Nora fixing her cereal, while she tells us that "I tried to be conscientious about what I ate, but it always seemed much easier when my mom was home, making sure meals amounted to more than whatever I could grab in ten seconds". What? Nora, when did you ever worry about what you ate? When did you ever do anything that suggested that you threw together hasty meals for God-knows-what-reason? According to the last book, you apparently had time to stop at a cafe for breakfast, before going to school! Fitzpatrick, you can't do this! You can't just throw traits out there and think it'll make your character well-rounded, if she doesn't follow them!

So Nora's mother asks if she gave Scott a tour of the town after all. She asks if pretty casually, considering that she outright told Nora to do call it off. Nora tries to dodge the question by saying that she canceled, adding to us "Probably best to leave it at that. I wasn’t sure how she’d react if she found out I’d tailed him to the pier, then spent the evening with him at a dive of a pool hall in Springvale".

*tiredly* No, Nora. You think? I think your mother would be happy that you stalked a guy with a criminal record, and then played pool with him in a bar that SOMEONE DIED IN NOT A WEEK AGO!

Of course, given what happens next, she very well might be.

Basically, Nora's mother gains a modicum of awareness and notices that Nora smells like smoke. Nora tries to feed her some cock-and-bull story about light candles the night before, but her mother continues to have half a brain cell and doesn't buy it. Nora finally confesses that she went to a pool hall, which she is all nervous about because pool halls are automatically hotbeds of criminal activity, and no self-respecting young lady would be caught in one.

Her mother wants to know if she went there with Patch, and we find out that at some point between the two books, Nora's mother made it a rule that Nora couldn't go out with Patch while she (the mother) was away on business trips. After so much disregard shown for Stranger Danger in the last book, the idea that this nitwit would follow through with dating safety rules makes me laugh.

Nora admits that Patch was there, but specifies that she didn't go there with Patch. Because clearly, that makes all the difference. Patch certainly isn't going to rape or murder or kidnap Nora if they weren't there together! Nora then admits that she went there with Scott, because I guess the idea of this useless twit doing anything active without A Man is unfathomable. And you must see the next bit to get an idea of this set-up

"'I didn’t go with Patch. I went with Scott.' By the look on her face, I was pretty sure this was worse. 'But before you blow up,' I rushed on, 'I just want to say that my curiosity is killing me. I’m having a really hard time ignoring the fact that the Parnells are
doing everything possible to keep Scott’s past in the dark. Why is it that every time Mrs. Parnell opens her mouth, Scott is two
inches away, watching her like a hawk? What could he have done that was so bad?'"

ZeldaQueen: Let us have a spite fic on what should happen, before we see what does happen!

"Nora, whatever Scott did in the past, it is none of your business," my mother said. "It's a matter between Scott and his mother, and if they don't want us to know, you shouldn't pry into it."

"But Moooom!" I protested.

"Not another word! I told you not to take Scott on a tour of the town because I thought he was unsafe. Running off with him while I'm not at home does not make me think he's any safer. In fact, it looks to me like a very good way to get yourself hurt! I don't care how curious you are," she added, when I opened my mouth. "You disobeyed me and put yourself in danger. I'm very disappointed in you, Nora. You are grounded."

"What?" I cried. "That is so not fair!"

"Nora," said my mother, "You just proved that you can't follow some very lenient restrictions on going out while I'm not at home. Don't try to tell me it's not fair. Consider your going-out privileges revoked for the next two weeks. And that's if you behave and don't try to sneak out again."

ZeldaQueen: Ah, that felt good. Now, let's see what actually happens

"I expected my mom to jump to her feet and tell me that starting the minute I got home from school this afternoon, I was grounded until the Fourth of July, but she said, 'I noticed that too.'

'Is it just me, or does she seem scared of him?' I continued, relieved that she appeared more interested in discussing Scott
than my punishment for spending the evening at a sketchy pool hall.

'What kind of mother is scared of her own son?' Mom wondered aloud"

ZeldaQueen: Yes folks, she lets herself be easily distracted away from actually holding her disobedient daughter to consequences. That's just great. Clearly, Fitzpatrick still is following in the footsteps of Meyer. Looks like the parents are starting to wise up and might actually punish their rotten kid? Just give them a lobotomy and have them completely forget what they were talking about! Because yes folks, Nora's mother does just that. She just found out that her daughter ran off with a guy she thought was dangerous, to a place where her disapproved-of boyfriend was hanging out, and she completely forgets about it. There isn't even a snapback, where the conversation is over and her mom says "Oh, and you're grounded for that". Nope, it's just totally forgotten about.

And I love how the little rotter is so pleased that she is getting away with blatantly engaging in activities that her mother forbid. By "I love", incidentally, I mean "It makes me want to strangle a kitten".

Oh, and is it just me, or does it sound like Mrs. Grey is blaming Mrs. Parnell for being un-motherly and being scared of her son? I could think of plenty of reasons why a mother could be scared of or disturbed by their kid. They could find out that their child is a member of a gang or a drug dealer. They could find out that their kid secretly has been torturing small animals or setting things on fire. The two could have had a fight which ended in the son seriously threatening the mother.

Now, I understand the thought that a parent would fear their child to be disturbing, and if this were a less stupid book it wouldn't bother me. But this is Crescendo, and it just feels like more of Fitzpatrick having her characters coming to illogical conclusions. Instead of thinking that something tragic but mundane happened between the Parnells, it's some grand conspiracy.

Anyway, this all launches Nora into Nancy Drew Mode, where she sits around and, much like Bree Tanner, just internally yammers for a paragraph or so, in the hopes that we'll think she's a clever detective. We don't. The only reason this doesn't make me want to stick a screwdriver through my head, like Bree's musings did, is because we at least don't know what's going to happen by canon. It still is sloppy writing, to halt the story for this, though.

In any case, Nora comes to the conclusion that Scott doesn't know that he's actually a Nephilim, but just that he's strong and can kinda-sorta mindrape people. And thus, she decides that the Big Bad Secret Scott and his mom are hiding isn't that he's a Nephilim (because they don't know he is), but something else. Apparently it doesn't occur to Nora that one's child suddenly gaining super-strength and the ability to read minds would be just as much a strange and freaky secret as one's child turning out to be a Nephilim. Since Nora is a Mary Sue and has Fitzpatrick leading her through the story, since she thinks it's something else entirely, it must certainly be something else entirely.

Lord.

We jump Nora going to her summer school class, and engage in some extremely petty Marcie-bashing, which amazingly enough is not centered around her being a wanton slut.

"I strolled into chemistry to find Marcie already at our desk, talking on her cell phone, completely ignoring the sign on the whiteboard that read NO CELL PHONES, NO EXCEPTIONS"

ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, that's just so stupid that I laughed. Am I supposed to think that Marcie is such a wicked, wicked person for talking on her cell phone before class starts, ignoring a sign that tells her not to? Given how most of my high school peers acted, I'm surprised that half of Nora's class isn't doing the same! Hell, I'm surprised most of them aren't texting under the table in the middle of class! Not to mention that given the sort of shenanigans that Nora will be getting into later, I find it laughable that we are supposed to think badly of Marcie for something as tame as that.

Also, Fitzpatrick? If you're going to make pointless jabs at your designated punching bag, it's best to not use scenarios that were done for laughs in Scott Pilgrim.



ZeldaQueen: Marcie makes a big show of turning away from Nora and cupping her hand over her mouth so she can have privacy, to which Nora responds "Like I cared". Because it's only bad when Marcie ignores Nora's privacy and butts into her personal life. In any case, Marcie finishes her conversation by the time Nora reaches the desk. She, of course, ends it with a "seductive" "Love you too". Yeah.

YOU FUCKING WHORE: 22

Marcie hangs up and tells Nora that she was talking to her boyfriend, who does not go to high school.

YOU FUCKING WHORE: 23

Because apparently that's just so awful, even though Nora dating a guy who's been around since the dawn of time is True Love. The fact that he's inexplicably in a teenager's body doesn't change that, you know.

For no reason at all, Nora freaks out and thinks that Marcie is referring to Patch as her boyfriend. No, don't ask me why she came to that conclusion. Marcie just said that her boyfriend wasn't in high school, and Patch is in fucking high school! We were never told that he left or was no longer attending! There is no reason for Nora to think that Marcie was referring to Patch! Cheese and crackers, when a high school girl says she's dating a guy who's not in high school, the usual conclusion is that she's dating a college student!

After fussing for some time, Nora decides that she most definitely will trust Patch and will not think that he's up to shenanigans with Marcie. Nope. Not at all. She totally believes him! Feel free to take bets on how long this will last before she whines about him surely cheating on her with Marcie.

Nora decides to respond to this by making a lame joke about Marcie's boyfriend being a dropout. *mildly* You know, Nora, your beloved Patch is pretty much a dropout himself. He abandoned his job and his life for a girl he hardly knew, spent the next several centuries doing nothing but gambling, being a parasite in every possible way, and trying to take a get-rich-quick scheme that involved murdering two people, instead of going with an option that required him to actually be a grown-up and take on responsibilities. Even now, he continues to skip out on his job in favor of making out with you. And spoilers, he's perfectly fine with abandoning his job again and living on the road. Just thought I'd remind you of that fact, dear Nora, seeing as your creator forgot this and thinks it's all the signs of a beautiful romance.

Marcie does not cave under the lame insult, because she actually has a spine. She informs Nora that she'll be holding a huge party, and Nora is invited. And yet again, Fitzpatrick fails to make Marcie look like an evil bitch. Even though Marcie is written as being overly obnoxious, she still is inviting Nora to a party after Nora has been so catty to her.

As if to prove my point, Nora makes a pointless insult towards Marcie's level of intelligence, which makes no sense at all. For all we've been told that Marcie is extremely stupid compared to Nora, it seems quite the opposite. Marcie at least as the sense to know when to be afraid of a stalker, while Nora has repeatedly proven herself to be too dumb to live.

Marcie then starts asking Nora what she thought about the fight in the pool hall. Nora, of course, instantly starts acting like this is the worst possible thing ever, wondering if the party invitation is just a way to manipulate Nora into being Marcie's friend and thus spilling any beans. But...it really doesn't feel like that. The way Marcie is talking and acting, it seems more like she was freaked out by what happened, and wants to talk about it with the only person there that she knows and sees regularly. Why is that such a bad thing? It was a shared experience, and it's understandable that she'd want to talk about it.

Not to mention that Miss Nora Drew here has done nothing but badger people about their private business, which has  been shown as her being a buding detective. Yet when Marcie does it, it's annoying. Interesting.

Marcie switches tactics and starts asking about Nora's breakup with Patch. Nora gets pissy and Marcie, proving yet again that she has more brain cells than Our Heroine, instantly figures out that Nora is jealous about Marcie hugging Patch at the pool hall. Marcie insists that they were just having fun and aren't dating for serious, which Nora refuses to believe. And...why? We're apparently to believe that Marcie is so petty that she does everything possible to taunt Nora. If there was a relationship going, why wouldn't Marcie wave it in her face that she was dating Nora's oh-so-hot ex? And why am I surprised that there's no consistency going on with these characters?

I guess Fitzpatrick noticed that Marcie was looking a bit too nice, so she revs up and has Marcie go on a very convoluted insult. I'm just going to show it to you, because reading it just...it makes my head hurt.

"Don’t be jealous, Nora. Patch and I are just really, really good friends. But in case you’re interested, my mom knows a really good relationship therapist. Let me know if you need a referral. On second thought, she’s pretty pricey. I mean, I know your mom has this stellar job and all—"

ZeldaQueen: What the hell? Could any more random insults be squeezed in there? And am I the only one who hears that being said in the most idiotic voice imaginable? It reminds me of when my brother and I were children, and our insults ten minutes to wind for the punchline. And what the hell is going on with Nora? You'd think if so many sore spots were being hit, she'd cut Marcie off halfway through there.

Nora decides to try to shame Marcie and try to get her to understand how it feels to have a murdered father and a low income. Any sympathy that might have drummed up doesn't really happen for me, because Nora really doesn't think about her dead father unless Fitzpatrick decides to milk for angst. As for the low income, besides firing the housekeeper and selling the car, there have been no signs of Nora's quality of life going down. She and her mother apparently have plenty to eat and money for clothes. Nora seems to have enough money to eat out, and only is getting a job to buy a new car and not out of necessity. She also has things like makeup and a cell phone, so it's not like she's without luxuries. If we weren't constantly told about the Grey family's low income, I wouldn't realize it was a problem.

Anyway, Nora ends up deciding that Marcie wasn't affected by that little thought experiment at all, because Marcie is a bitch who only cares about herself. Considering how selfish Nora has been, that's freaking rich.

We jump to the end of class (apparently Fitzpatrick is copying Meyer's awkward time jumps as well), to see Nora running into Vee outside. Vee is splayed out and tanning on the hood of her car...because, I guess. Anyway, Vee is pissed that Nora didn't tell about her breakup with Patch, leaving her to find out through Rixon. She then starts telling Nora that the breakup is for the best, and I swear to God it's like Vee was possessed by every sensible reader

"It’s no secret Patch is trouble. He’s got the whole bad-boy-in-need-of-redemption thing going on, but the catch is, most bad boys don’t want redemption. They like being bad. They like the power they get from striking fear and panic into the hearts of mothers everywhere"

ZeldaQueen: Are you listening to your own character, Fitzpatrick? Because Vee is absolutely right for a change! Shockers, I know, but it's true! Patch doesn't want redemption, no matter what you say. He's perfectly happy running around, tormenting Nephilim and being a jerk to his girlfriend and playing pool and poker and avoiding anything remotely resembling responsibility. And given how much he has enjoyed pinning Nora to walls and beds and kissing her while she tries to push him off, I'd say that he does indeed enjoy feeling powerful from her fear and panic.

*COUGH*

Of course, Vee immediately loses any good favor of mine when she goes on to say that what Nora needs is to get a Nice Guy for a boyfriend. While I do agree that these people need the desire for bad boys drummed out of their heads with sticks (possibly including the Suethor), I HATE the idea that the perfect thing to cure a bad breakup is another boyfriend. Not, you know, a cool down period for Nora to focus on her schoolwork or take up a hobby or just take long naps or something? Ah, what the fuck am I saying? In this messed-up world, a woman is not complete unless she has A Man. Or rather, Nora is not complete, while Vee is a dumbass in the way of boyfriends and Marcie is a harlot.

Righty. Onward.

Vee's example of a Nice Guy Boyfriend is Rixon, to which I say "What the fuck?" That dude is Patch with an Irish accent! What kind of messed up Nice Guys has Vee been meeting with? Even Nora agrees with me, surprise of surprises! Though I guess it makes a bit of sense that Vee thinks Rixon is a Nice Guy, considering that actual Nice Guys are nonexistent in this crazy world.

Nora tells Vee that she saw Marcie snuggling with Patch at the pool hall, because clearly that is pertinent to the topic of Patch being a jerk. Vee starts to stammer at this, and suggests that Rixon has a friend other than Patch that Nora can date. *rubs the bridge of her nose* That Vee is so convinced that Rixon is the paragon of good men makes me want to beat my head against the wall, I must say. Or rather, beat her head against the wall.

Nora says that she wants a job and not a boyfriend, which makes Vee wrinkle her nose and whine about how she doesn't "get the allure". Well, Vee, the allure is that you can save money and thus do great things, like go to college, get your own house, and not be arrested for not paying your taxes. Given how we're supposed to think that Nora's family has well-known financial issues, you'd think Vee would get that. I guess expecting Vee to get anything is beyond the capabilities of her half a brain cell. Nora reminds her of the car thing, and starts rattling off pointless perks of the car she wants. She also holds our hand through an incredibly stupid symbolik point

"[W]hile I knew it was ridiculous to feel a connection to something as inanimate and practical as a car, I was beginning to view it as a metaphor of change in my life. Freedom to go wherever I wanted, whenever. Freedom to start fresh. Freedom from Patch, and all the memories we shared that I hadn’t yet figured out how to slam the door on"

ZeldaQueen: Oh lord.

First of all, do you mean to tell me that Miss Intelligence and Brains here, with all of her learnings, has never before heard of someone personifying a car? I can rattle off a half a dozen books, works, or real life examples of people forming personal connections to their cars! That's one of the most common things out there! What, is this supposed to be Fitzpatrick trying to establish how quirky and unique Nora is? Because if so, it doesn't work!

Second of all, thank you for just having your Sue TELL us that the car symbolizes Nora's life, Fitzpatrick. Considering that Nora has had no trouble getting places she has to get to and has shown virtually no limitations to her comings and goings, including her mother's house rules, saying that the car symbolizes freedom kind of falls flat.

Third of all, Nora, darling, YOU HAVE KNOWN PATCH FOR ALL OF TWO MONTHS. What are "all the memories" you're yapping on about? YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT TOGETHER! Cheese and crackers, this is almost as bad as her "every little moment" spiel at the climax of the last book! Gah!

Fourth of all, we all know that Nora is going to be diving back into Patch's arms by the end of this book, so let's not pretend that freedom from him is actually going to happen, mkay?

Anyway, Vee points out that the bistro they frequent is hiring baristas. Wait, we're talking about Enzos, that little cafe where they had breakfast, right? I was under the impression that that was a small shop! It has a coffee bar? And folks, I'll admit that I know very little about coffee, but it looks like baristas are into serious coffee preparation, not like Starbucks coffee mixing. If you would have asked me if Fitzpatrick's previous description of that cafe worked with having a coffee bar, I would have thought no. Gah! Description fail!

In any case, Nora decides to apply there. Ho boy, let's see how that turns out!

In the meantime, Nora and Vee go window shopping. They come across a bakery, and Vee starts drooling like Pavlo's dog. She declares that they're going to get glazed doughnuts, because "I think it’s been a whole hour since I last ate". Nora teases Vee about cheating on her diet, and snarks that Vee never has just one doughnut in one sitting.

*raises hand* Fitzpatrick? We're supposed to think badly of Marcie for making fun of Vee, right? Every time Marcie mocks Vee for being fat, Nora argues that she's just curvy and it's narrow-minded to think that's laugh-worthy, right? How am I supposed to get behind that and support that view, when you and Nora both do nothing but make jokes about how Vee is always fat and pigging out on junk food?

They order half a dozen glazed doughnuts (now see, there's the problem! Just buy one frigging doughnut at a time! Less temptation to pig out, and you can have a snack without freaking out over breaking the diet!) when Nora notices Scott staring at her through the shop window. Lovely, another guy is stalking her. Just what this book needed.

Vee notices Scott and starts worrying that Nora is going to him as the "rebound" after Patch. Nora insists she isn't, which is hard to buy when it's blindingly obvious that he's this book's Jacob. She steps outside to talk to Scott, while Vee tells her to make it snappy, or her doughnut will be eatten. So... Nora's only getting one? Vee bought five doughnuts for herself, and will likely eat the sixth as well? Um, yeah. Way to show that curvy people are just another body type and not just pigs, Fitzpatrick!

Nora meets Scott outside, where he is all smiles. You'd think he'd be a little more embarassed or at least apologetic that he nearly got her killed, but nope! Makes sense, I suppose. Patch and Vee haven't been particularly remorseful that they nearly got Nora killed, so this seems to be par for the course. Nora is pissed at Scott, but it's more because he didn't ride her home rather than HE NEARLY GOT HER KILLED, WHY CAN'T THIS BINT PROCESS THAT FACT! CHEESE AND CRACKERS, SHE'S STUPID!

*breathes deeply*

Nora tells Scott that the outing "just taught me never to go out with you again". *bored* Oh, really? Let's give that two paragraphs or so, and see how long that resolution lasts. After all, didn't you spend the last book declaring that you weren't going to call or go out with Patch?

Scott tries to make it up to Nora by inviting her to a restaurant for lunch, right then and there. Nora refuses, but does so on the grounds that the place is horrifically expensive. Meaning...what? That she expects Scott to be enough of a dick to take her out to eat and make her foot the bill? Granted he probably would, given how awful everyone in this series is, but still. She also isn't particularly inclined to go out to eat with Scott, but it's because she randomly gets pissed over him trying to lift her shirt up with a pool cue. Now I can understand being angry at someone for that, don't get me wrong, except for two things. First of all, she showed virtually no annoyance or anger with him when he actually was doing that. Second of all, YOU'D THINK THE FACT THAT HE NEARLY GOT HER KILLED WOULD STAND OUT OVER THAT! GOD!

They blather on for some time, which serves no point but to establish that Scott is a gambler and doesn't know he's a Nephilim, both of which we already knew. Scott randomly says that he's cutting off his frienship with Nora, but says it in a joking way. He then says "I thought I’d start with your boyfriend". No, don't ask me what he means by that. He wants to cut ties as Patch's friend? He wants to be Patch's friend? I have no frigging clue. All it does is serve as a very awkward segue to bringing up Patch, and Scott to nudge Nora into confessing that they broke up. Scott admits that he heard that, specifically that "Some hot chick named Marcie told me. I ran into her at the gas station, and she made sure to come over and introduce herself. By the way, she said you’re a loser". Christmas, forget about getting around sexually, Marcie gets around in this plot more than Nora does! What the flip? Out of everyone in Coldwater, they just happened to run into each other? And Marcie just happened to recognize Scott, who she saw just once, when he was in the middle of a crowd and pinned to a pool table? How did that conversation even start? Did Marcie just march over and go "Hi! My name's Marcie! You may not remember me, but I saw you the other night, when your life was being threatened over some gambling money. By the way, do you know that other girl there, Nora? She's a loser and broke up with her boyfriend. Well, gotta go! My tank's full!"

Seriously, this is ridiculous! Well, more ridiculous than usual.

Nora starts to get pissy because Marcie dared to tell the truth about something, and Scott proceeds to be possessed by the same Sensibility Spirit that possessed Vee earlier

"Want some advice? Some genuine guy-to-girl advice? Forget Patch. Move on. Find some guy who’s into the same stuff you are. Studying, chess, collecting and classifying dead bugs…"

ZeldaQueen: Yes, thank you! Because he's right, Nora and Fitzpatrick. What, exactly, do Nora and Patch have in common, beyond an inexplicable desire to bone each other? Hell, they hardly have any interests period!

But as with Vee, the Sensibility Spirit leaves Scott quickly. He finishes his advice with "and give some serious thought to dying your hair", because "Let’s be honest. Redheads are a liability".

Um... what, pray tell, does that even mean? They're a "libability"? How so? What about them makes them a liability? Did Scott mean to say that guys don't like redheads? I'm pretty sure that's not true, if that's the case.

There's the other part, which Nora points out as well - she very clearly has brown hair. Where the fuck is this redhead nonsense coming from? Scott doesn't even explain with something like "Well, it looks red in the sun". No, he just grins like an idiot and says that she at least is not so unfortunate as to have "Wicked-witch orange" hair.

*holds head in hands* What is the point of all of this? Is it supposed to be flirting? Because it's not cute, it's not sexy, and it's making me want to brain both of them with a frying pan!

For no reason at all, Nora goes back to the comments Scott made about her possible hobbies of chess-playing and insect-collecting. Why she didn't protest them when they were first mentioned, I have no clue. All I know is that this next bit takes a turn for the mind-blowingly stupid.

Okay. Scott tells Nora that he knows her type, and "[t]he hallmark of your entire persona is defined by two words. Anal  retentive. You’re just another standard OCD case". I'm sorry, when has Nora ever done anything remotely anal retentive or OCD? In fact, her main interaction with Scott has been to spontaneously go to a pool hall! How is that nitpicky? The only way Scott could figure Nora to be like that is if he outright makes stuff up, but surely that wouldn't rile up a girl who's supposed to be straight-A and Harvard-bound. Right?

"My mouth fell open. 'Okay, so maybe I study a little. But I’m not boring—not that boring.' At least, I hoped not. 'Obviously you don’t know me at all.'

'Riiiiight.'

'Fine,' I said defensively. 'What’s something you’re interested in that you think I’d never go for? Stop laughing. I’m
serious. Name one thing.'"

ZeldaQueen: You know, there are a few times when I find myself reading something and mentally waving my arms, screaming "NO! NO, YOU IDIOT! IT'S NOT WORTH IT! GO BACK!" It happened while reading the blurb for Beautiful Disaster and while reading the chapter of 50 Shades of Grey where Anna signed the non-disclosure agreement without reading it. It's happening here. Because Nora. Sweetie. Dearest.

HE NEARLY GOT YOU KILLED THE LAST TIME YOU WENT OUT. YOU JUST SAID YOU WERE NEVER GOING OUT WITH HIM AGAIN. AND NOW, YOU ARE LETTING HIM CHILDISHLY INSULT YOU INTO AGREEING TO GO TO ANY PLACE OF HIS CHOOSING.

WHAT.

ZeldaQueen: Also, yes Nora, you are that boring. Boring, with a generous side of Too Dumb to Live. By God, what a literary heroine for the ages you are!

We're just getting started on this, by the way. Hold on to your hats, ladies and gentlemen.

Scott propose that Nora prove she's not boring by going to battle of the bands with him. Interesting name. You'd think it'd have a title like "Coldwater Battle of the Bands", considering how many battle of the bands there are, but nope! Ah well, at least it sounds like fun, and surely it will be pretty safe, right?

Scott goes on to describe the event as "Loud, unrehearsed music. Loud, unruly crowds. Lots of scandalous sex in the bathrooms. Ten times more adrenaline than the Z".

Excuse me. I need to go beat my head against a wall.

*does so*

*returns, slightly cross-eyed* And yes, folks, Scott is dead serious about bringing Nora to this thing. He took her to a pool hall where she was stuck in a fight, and now he's taking her to a place that he considers to be even more wild and insane. Between all of this and Patch dragging Nora hither and yon, I really have to question what Fitzpatrick thinks a considerate boyfriend is like.

Oh, and while giving Nora "an egotistical, mocking smile", Scott tells her to bring a fake ID to the event. So not only is he dragging her to a place that is wild and potentially dangerous, but he's also putting her at risk to get arrested. What a great guy he is!

I hate everything right now.

And incidentally, that includes Nora. Because Scott here is being a douchebag, but he's still not forcing Nora to go with him. She's agreeing to go, though. And the reason for this?

"'No problem,' I said, trying to keep my expression ho-hum. Technically, I’d be eating my words if I went out with Scott again, but I wasn’t going to stand here and let him call me boring. And I definitely wasn’t going to let him call me a redhead"

ZeldaQueen: *holding head in hands* Yes Nora, you do that. You go off to that battle of the bands. Never mind your statement that you weren't going out with Scott again. Never mind what happened the last time you went some place he thought was cool. Never mind that you need a fake ID, which I'm fairly sure would take time and money to get and which I know is illegal to have, meaning that you are risking being arrested and having a note put on your permenant record, almost certainly ruining your future and any chance for a good job. None of that matters. We just don't want the guy you haven't seen for years say that you are boring.

I want to just curl into a corner and weep, but there's still some chapter left. I'll do that at the end.

Nora asks what she should wear, to which Scott replies "As little as legally allowable". For some reason this literally renders Nora speechless, even though she hasn't shown that much shock towards skimpy attire in the past. Also, if I guy told me that was a dress code, my first reaction would be that he was joking. If he was serious, my reaction would be to tell him to screw it, I was wearing what I wanted or not going.

Nora cheerfully agrees to go with Scott, figuring "I could always back out later. A quick text would take care of it. All I cared about currently was not allowing Scott to call me an anal-retentive wimp to my face". Given what an absolute meathead Nora has been, I think it's safe to say she'll be a dumbass and not actually back out. Joy. And why are we supposed to like Nora for this? She's a spineless bint who folds like a house of cards because someone she hardly knows throws weak insults at her. That does not impress me, Fitzpatrick. That just makes me think your little Sue is a weak-willed idiot who is obsessed with what people think of her, even though she's supposed to be the opposite.

So Nora goes back to the doughnut shop, to find that Vee has eatten half of her doughnut. *rolls eyes* Har har, it is to laugh. You know, considering that Vee nearly got Nora killed in the last book, you'd think she'd be nice enough to let Nora have a conversation without stealing her food. But no, we must make jokes about Vee being a fat pig. Unless Marcie is the one making those jokes, in which case they are bad and wrong.

Anyway, a bakery employee hesitantly confirms Nora's name, before handing her a manilla envelope. Nora gives us a pointless detailing of the employee's uniform, before asking who sent it. The employee vaguely says that it was some guy who left already, and she figured that it was Nora's boyfriend, leaving her a romantic gift. The employee then gets all misty-eyed over a time when some guy asked the bakery to deliver flowers to his girlfriend, when she was in the store. Don't you just love how every woman's world revolves around boyfriends in this series?

Nora and Vee go off to open the envelope. They find a man's ring inside, with an emblem of a clenched fist. Said fist is slightly charred, because it was stuck in the fire. Hm, a tiny fist and fire. I wonder if it was used to brand someone? *bored*

Oh, and there's a note in there, saying that the ring belongs to someone called "the Black Hand", who killed Nora's dad, shock, gasp, and bloody horror. After seven chapters, we finally get something resembling plot. Hallalueh!

---

YOU FUCKING WHORE: 23

Onward to: Chapter 8

Return to: Chapter 6

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[detritius.livejournal.com]

Okay, first off, is it just me, or does it seem like Nora only reacts to things a few lines after they happen in her conversation with Scott? The pace just seems really off to me, and it's making me think Nora can't keep up with the conversation because her brain keeps overheating.

Second of all, hi, Fitzpatrick, I'm a girl who's on the heavy side. Everyone in my family is. I'm not always on a diet, but I do try to make good food choices. I don't eat fast food or snack between meals, and I'm uncomfortable eating at all in front of people because of the heavy girl = pig stereotype. So thanks a lot for reinforcing it.

Finally, the thing with the ring seems kind of ham-handed and dumb, but if it's actually a sign of plot, I'll take it, because this book has been really pointless thus far.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

I agree. I'm always paranoid about even eating candy in public because I am heavy and I feel like people stare.

I don't eat well and I don't exercise much which are both bad choices I know but I don't eat that much. I actually eat very little overall and get full easily. I do enjoy eating constantly but only small amounts and that whole big girl = pig thing is not only stupid but outdated. It's from a time where the only way people could be fat was to eat constantly and that just isn't true anymore.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

So... since when did guys not like redheads? I mean, sure, everyone's tastes are different, but I've never heard of any hair color being deemed universally unattractive or anything. Heck, reddish brown hair sounds pretty cute.

Yeah, all sympathy for Scott's gone out the window. When do we find out he murdered someone? Like I've said before, EVERY guy in this series seems to be a murderer.

I'm operating under the assumption that this is some kind of alternate universe where everywhere is crime-ridden and everyone is dumb, but pool halls are the height of sleaze because fallen angels are drawn to them.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

I always thought redheads was a positive for men (redhead males are a giant plus for me, I think redheads are hot). I mean it's a damn trope "Heroes Want Redheads." And I love redish brown (or auburn) hair in my heroines because I find it such an attractive shade of hair.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

But, Marcie is a redhead. And Lauren from Twilight is a redhead. That means that redheads are evil.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

True, I forgot all about that. Silly me.

(Though logically, considering how Marcie is supposed to be sex on legs her being a redhead should PROVE it's a plus but whatever.)

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

I thought Lauren was blonde?

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

Was she? Oh, you're right, she's Targaryen blonde. My bad. I dunno why I always pictured her as a redhead. Oh, you know why? Mutant X.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

Wasn't Lauren a blonde? Given how Meyer treats blondes in her books, I thought that Lauren was blonde. Victoria is a redhead, though, so maybe Fitzpatrick was inspired by her.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

She was. I just always imagined her as a redhead. But yeah, Victoria is definitely a redhead, and I dunno if this is more of my head canon, but I imagined her as a sex bob-omb too.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

I know, right? I mean, sure, depending on the area there's the whole "redheaded stepchild" thing going on, but still. The fact that redheads are so common in fiction ought to be a clue-in in itself.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"I'm operating under the assumption that this is some kind of alternate universe where everywhere is crime-ridden and everyone is dumb, but pool halls are the height of sleaze because fallen angels are drawn to them"

You might be on to something there. We find out later that fallen angels make amusement parks, so pool halls aren't that much of a stretch.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Does that include the roller coaster from last time, or did Fitzpatrick forget all possible conflicts again?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

It does. Just wait until the end of the book. It's an incredibly stupid revelation.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

It's supposed to be a Big Dramatic Reveal, isn't it? *Sigh* Instead, I just think that Patch is even more of a jackass and was using that to mind-rape girls freely or something. I honestly can't see him doing ANYTHING that doesn't at least involve murder, sexual harassment/assault, other assorted forms of violence, or general asshattery by this point. Except maybe gambling. And even then, he's using the gambling to get into pool hall fights or something.

[actonthat.livejournal.com]

Since when is "people with OCD suck" a thing? Does Fitzpatrick think it's cool to make fun of people with disabilities?

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

She seems to be under the impression that OCD means "someone who has organized bookshelves", like most uninformed people, and is not aware that it is kind of a disease.

Icon for the chapter in question, of course.

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Not to mention that Miss Nora Drew here has done nothing but badger people about their private business, which has been shown as her being a buding detective. Yet when Marcie does it, it's annoying. Interesting.

Seriously, in between that and the other dissing on Marcie, I'm starting to wonder if Nora's suffering from a severe case of Protagonist Centered Morality. (Oh, who am I kidding? Of course she is. :/)

Ugh, sorry. Nora's just...I really don't like Nora right now. Seriously. :/

Re: Icon for the chapter in question, of course.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Ugh, sorry. Nora's just...I really don't like Nora right now. Seriously. :/"

Did you ever like Nora? :P

In seriousness, don't worry about it. I think everyone here is agreeing with you. Nora is desperately reaching to beat Bella Swan for the title of "Most useless bitch of a heroine ever".

Re: Icon for the chapter in question, of course.

[ladyhadhafang.livejournal.com]

Well, that's good to know. *sighs* Seriously though, why can't we focus on the Nephilim instead? At least these guys I can feel sympathy for. Seriously.

Re: Icon for the chapter in question, of course.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Hear, hear. At least in the last book she was sympathetic when she wasn't being derailed by the story.

[stormswift]

How. How. HOW.

HOW DID THIS GET PUBLISHED.

No, that's not a question. It's a statement.

Every line of dialogue is plastic and fake. No one talks like this. No one reacts like Nora does or thinks like she does. No reasonable human being displays any of the behavior these characters do. Even if they weren't all horrible, horrible people that should go immediately die in all the fires, I'd think that any publisher would take one look at the character interactions and throw this in the bin where it belongs. I've seen more scintillating dialogue and reasonable reactions on an episode of Spongebob.

It would be one thing if this whole book was a commentary on Nora's behavior, in which case it would be delightfully meta, but Fitzpatrick has proven time and time again that she does not possess the self-awareness, subtlety, or writing skill to pull off post-modernism like that.

Jesus. It's like she took the "bad boy" conceit and ran with it without bothering to figure out what the actual point of the bad boy trope is: the "I can change him, mama!"/jerk with a heart of gold, where he's not really so bad and actually enjoys petting kittens and tending gardens. No, Fitzpatrick seems to have put two and two together and gotten five and decided that bad boys are popular because they kill/hurt people, and that's what every teenage girl is searching for in a boyfriend.

Oh, and word on Vee's characterization, in that she has none beyond LOL FAT PEOPLE. In a book marketed to teens! Awesome! Because that's a population well-known for having strong self-images and are not at all susceptible to body shaming and eating disorders! Again I say how did this get published.

I feel like it's redundant to point out any of this, as these themes continue to crop up in every chapter. But it just gets head-deskingly worse with every passing word, and I salute you for continuing to plow through this. I would have thrown the first book out the window long back and refused to have anything to do with it ever again.

[guardians-song.livejournal.com]

"No, Fitzpatrick seems to have put two and two together and gotten five and decided that bad boys are popular because they kill/hurt people, and that's what every teenage girl is searching for in a boyfriend."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia

I really do think part of the "bad boy" appeal for some people is just how horrible they are to everyone else, so the love interest is so special because he treats her semi-hemi-demi-reasonably. So... sad to say, I think Fitzpatrick has it right on target, the same way SMeyer got it right on target.

Not that it makes the book any better - for me, that makes it even worse - but still.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

Bad boy can be done well in a fantasy, even an over the top bad boy fantasy. You just need to be sure you sell it as a FANTASY. I love romance and I love over the top bad boy lead but only when it's presented as a sexy fantasy. My issue with these books isn't just that their leads are awful but that they're presented as IDEAL. It's worse with Edward but it's here too. These are the IDEAL men and not just men who can be sexy or your ideal. That's the issue with me. I can accept the rest if it wasn't also served with this large steaming pile of "Your ideas are wrong and mine are right."

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

Must write YA novel featuring husky female protagonist with an active love/sex life because she's funny and smart. Or at least funny best friend, you know, like Fitzpatrick probably intended Vee to be? I'm a little wary of that, since fat chick jokes and funny friend often go hand in hand, but it's gotta be better than this, right?

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

I'd love to read a story about a fat protagonist that isn't about the protagonists fat. I'm fat and grew up fat and I can tell you, very little of my life revolved around my weight. The only time my weight bothered me was when a) tiny stick girls complained about how fat they were and that was only because of the implied insult there and b) when I'd claim I was fat and everyone would jump on me like I was anorexic which annoyed the crap out of me AND was rude to REAL anorexics who had real problems. I was just lazy.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, I had hoped that was implied by my statement. Kind of like the NaNo I wrote for 2010, which featured a gay protagonist who was just gay, I was imagining a story about a fat protagonist who was just fat.

Also, I've turned off my complaints about my weight no matter who I'm around, but especially if they're fat or husky or whatever shade in between. I'm about 5'10"/160, and I constantly worry about getting fat. Every once in a while, something will slip out, and I'll feel like a massive jerk. I forget where I was going with this. Something about there not always being an implied insult, I think.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

I didn't think you implied otherwise but I kinda wanted to throw it out there. Most of my stories tend to be rather...actiony since I do like my paranormal romance so a fat protagonist (especially a female fat protagonist) would hinder their ability to help and make them more of a load. Sometimes I think about it though but...*shrug* Most of the time my stories pick me and not the otherway around.

That said, I'm no longer insulted when thinner people complain about weight around me because I know now it's a personal thing. There is no implied insult in the comment because it's generally like what you said, YOU'RE worried and it slips out. It's really just you feeling bad about yourself and I don't, so no reason for people to pity me. We all have our moment's of depression and weakness and we can say really insensitive things when our personal issues are really weighing ourselves down.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

Hey, 'action' doesn't necessarily mean that. Let's make Miss Sarah Robles the protagonist. She would make a kick-ass superheroine, and in the hands of a writer who cared, I could buy her as a romantic lead.



See? She's cute. She's also an Olympic level weight lifter, and possibly the strongest woman in the world? Oh. Wikipedia says she's the strongest weightlifter of either gender in the US. How's that? Slap a mask on her, give her a pseudonym, and she's a superhero.

Have you ever heard of the movie The Nines? It's pretty average, but it does feature a wonderful and heart-strings-pulling relationship between Ryan Reynolds and Melissa McCarthy, who plays a role that could easily have been filled by someone like Zoey Deschanel or Natalie Portman.



His hair is a tragic shade of orange for a while, but its a decent movie. There aren't any fat jokes I recall (there's one that might pass, but it'd be a stretch), and it's just played as a straight romance. McCarthy does a decent job in the role for the amount of experience she has, and is probably the most memorable thing in the movie. Roy from The Office is also in it.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

That does sound cute and it'd be great to not have another Shallow Hal type movie where that's the big joke.

Also in that picture I like her hair color so I don't know if that's the shade of orange or not. (Orange can go bad so easily.)

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

HIS hair. Reynolds' hair looks roadcone orange in his first role (everyone plays three different parts in the movie; it makes sense in context), and it's hideous. It makes him super unattractive.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah, that could ruin Reynolds. He's super cute but that brown hair really helps.

[stormswift]

It would certainly be a welcome departure from the never-ending flood of naturally waifish protagonists.

Tangent: I was reading a dissection of Twilight that pointed out something I never noticed before: Bella Swan, who's repeatedly categorized as a slim and lightweight size two, never eats. Whenever food is brought up in the novels, the majority of the time it's to point out how she isn't eating it. She's constantly "losing her appetite" or "pushing her food around the plate" or "too depressed to eat". Despite being the designated chef in the household, she doesn't really enjoy food or take much interest in expanding her culinary horizons. It's subtle enough that I don't think Meyer wrote it in their consciously, but man, does that have unfortunate implications or what?

Back on topic: there's definitely ways to celebrate a variety of body types without putting down any of them ("real women have curves" vs. "omg you fat cow" are both harmful) and I would love to see more awareness of that in literature. Vee as she stands is nothing but an overblown caricature of loads of harmful stereotypes: sex-obsessed, "funny fat friend", overweight pig, etc. etc. There must be authors out there who could do her character justice without reducing her to a punchline.

[flamefire124.livejournal.com]

One of my favorite romance author's Nora Roberts has done a few ex-fat protagonists and generally does it rather well. It's basic but well. One of her best was the female lead of Blood Brother's where she mentions her diet every time food comes up (because you have to think about it that much) but it's all done in a very positive way. She describes going on the diet as a point when she was done pitying herself and trying quick fixes and instead wanting to care for her body right. She's also funny and enjoyable and way more than a clothes size. It was actually very nice to read.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

I don't think Meyer is smart enough to write anything into her stories consciously. Didn't she say that her work doesn't have any themes?

Actually, I think I'm going to have one of the girlfriends of my werewolf/angel hybrid be chunky. The FMC is the daughter of a female Alpha werewolf and an angel, and she kickboxes, teaches yoga, and rides a motorcycle. The FMC is probably going to be stocky and muscular, and ideally, the whole novel will be a deconstruction of current YA Paranormal Romance. #ShamelessSelfPromotion

That was one of the things I did actually like about Keladry of Mindelain; the fact that she was short, stocky, and kind of mannish didn't prevent her from attracting male attention, and it wasn't just because she was the only girl around.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Hell, not even a GOOD episode of Spongebob! Even the really bad ones are a step up from this!

And word on Vee. Though she does have more than one characterization trait. She's also boy-crazy to the point of absurdity, even in this universe, remember?

[stormswift]

Add "less than zero survival instincts" to the list of these characters' many, many flaws. By all rights, everyone in this book with the possible exception of Marcie ought to be wiped off the face of the planet by this point.

I would dig (in the hands of a better writer) a Marcie-POV version of these stories. I bet she's running around behind the scenes actually doing shit and making sure humanity survives.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

I'm almost thinking the angels have been secretly breeding the humans or mind controlling them or something so that they're particularly susceptible to... ah, everything they do. There's no way an entire city of people could be this stupid by chance.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/It would be one thing if this whole book was a commentary on Nora's behavior, in which case it would be delightfully meta,/

You’d think so, right? I mean, those two respective lines of dialogue from Vee and Scott seem to indicate that Fitzpatrick knows what she’s doing and is in fact satirizing abusive relationships disguised as romance. But then you have the characters immediately forget about such statements and the “romance” between Nora and Patch continues to roll right along, business as usual. It’s sort of like Meyer with Charlie and Jacob.

/It's like she took the "bad boy" conceit and ran with it without bothering to figure out what the actual point of the bad boy trope is: the "I can change him, mama!"/jerk with a heart of gold, where he's not really so bad and actually enjoys petting kittens and tending gardens. No, Fitzpatrick seems to have put two and two together and gotten five and decided that bad boys are popular because they kill/hurt people, and that's what every teenage girl is searching for in a boyfriend./

Exactly. That's what most people have been saying about this: the most important thing about the “bad-boy with a heart of gold” trope is the *heart of gold.* Where it’s revealed that that the bad-boy can wear leather jackets, know how to fight, be from the wrong side of the tracks, and other common bad-boy traits, and still be a good and decent person.

I mean, take Batman for example. Yes, he wears black, yes, he’s brooding, yes, he has a tragic back-story, and yes, a lot of the time, he’s a jerk. But that doesn’t change the fact that he still cares about people, which is why he’s a superhero in the first place.

Patch? He doesn’t care about anybody but himself. Instead of trying to prevent people from getting hurt, he actively goes out to hurt people for his own selfish reasons. He has no sense of responsibility, never learns anything, and just does whatever he feels like doing, regardless of how it affects anybody else. He’s not even moral enough to qualify as an anti-hero, which is the role that most bad-boys fall into. He’s just a flat-out villain, end of story.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/She just found out that her daughter ran off with a guy she thought was dangerous, to a place where her disapproved-of boyfriend was hanging out, and she completely forgets about it./

These books are some of the most contrived pieces of garbage that I’ve ever seen. Maybe Fitzpatrick wanted to have it both ways; maybe she got criticism that Mrs. Grey didn’t seem to act like a normal parent would and tossed in a few lines for Mrs. Grey to say to make her *seem* like a realistic parent…but then decided that any punishment of Nora would hinder the plot, so she had Nora’s mother instantly forget about it.

/Am I supposed to think that Marcie is such a wicked, wicked person for talking on her cell phone before class starts, ignoring a sign that tells her not to?/

*flatly* Oh, yes, Marcie is the spawn of Satan for talking on her cell phone in class. I’m sure that your precious boyfriend, Patch, would *never* do something so heinous. Oh, sure, he may have threatened you with violence and sexual assault, stalked you, and sexually harassed you…but talking on your cell phone during class? That’s unforgiveable!

The shameless and utterly gratuitous amounts of Marcie-bashing causes me to suspect that Marcie is based on someone that Fitzpatrick knows and loathes in real life. Maybe it’s not true; maybe Marcie is just supposed to be the fictional punching bag for everyone to scorn and hate. But considering how often Nora rants about Marcie and how petty many of her complaints against Marcie are, it just makes me wonder if there’s something else going on here.

/Anyway, Nora ends up deciding that Marcie wasn't affected by that little thought experiment at all, because Marcie is a bitch who only cares about herself. Considering how selfish Nora has been, that's freaking rich./

Marcie really needs to join SCA (Scorned Characters Anonymous).

/ZeldaQueen: Are you listening to your own character, Fitzpatrick?/

That’s what I’m wondering. Is Fitzpatrick trolling us or does she just plunk these things into characters’ mouths just to show that she’s not completely oblivious to the implications of her books? Or is it so the reader can think, “Oh, no, Vee, you’ve got it all wrong! Patch and Nora’s relationship is not an abusive relationship! It’s not what you think!”
/Nora says that she wants a job and not a boyfriend, which makes Vee wrinkle her nose and whine about how she doesn't "get the allure"./

Oh, yeah, having a job and thus coming closer to being financially independent, enabling you to have your own place and your own money and not having to live with your parents or depend on them for everything? Tch, yeah, what’s the allure of *that?* You’re just supposed to snag yourself a hot guy to pay the bills for you, so that you can be financially dependent on him instead of your family!

/YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT TOGETHER!/

Aw, come on, that isn’t true. Patch nearly caused Nora to die! More than once, in fact! I’d say that coming close to your deathbed counts as significant.

/she very clearly has brown hair. Where the fuck is this redhead nonsense coming from?/

So, not only can Fitzpatrick not keep things consistent between books or chapters, she can’t even keep things consistent between *sentences.* Like you said, if Nora’s not a redhead, then why on earth did Fitzpatrick put in that redhead comment and then point out a sentence later how nonsensical it is?

All of these characters are stupid. End of story.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"The shameless and utterly gratuitous amounts of Marcie-bashing causes me to suspect that Marcie is based on someone that Fitzpatrick knows and loathes in real life."

I strongly suspect she is. On Fitzpatrick's website, she says how she was tormented by "Mini-mean girls" in kindergarten, and how she and her sister would make up stories about locking said girls in a bus and driving the bus off a cliff. She described that as her earliest time with writing stories.

[illyriasacolyte.livejournal.com]

I took out my anger on bullies by writing stories about them too, but they were always imprisoned or defeated harmlessly. Usually, they were sorcerers or something who got banished to some sort of alternate dimension. That sounds... like the beginnings of a serial killer. Maybe it's good that she wrote Hush, Hush instead of becoming Jeff the Killer.

[nawsome.livejournal.com]

""But Moooom!""
Hahaha very IC XD
"NO CELL PHONES, NO EXCEPTIONS"
Hahahaha I'm Marcie Miller, as well as every teenager my age
"Marcie at least as the sense to know when to be afraid of a stalker"
Which is why she's evil! :C
"Vee is splayed out and tanning on the hood of her car...because, I guess."
Lol whut?
" Patch doesn't want redemption, no matter what you say. He's perfectly happy running around, tormenting Nephilim and being a jerk to his girlfriend and playing pool and poker and avoiding anything remotely resembling responsibility. And given how much he has enjoyed pinning Nora to walls and beds and kissing her while she tries to push him off, I'd say that he does indeed enjoy feeling powerful from her fear and panic."
Ugh, why is it always a woman's job to fix a man? Is it apart of our inevitable domestic nature? *gags*
And lol I completely forgot Nora had "money problems"

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Oh, no. Patch isn't going to be "fixed". Fans like him the way he is. *Retches* And yes, this actually has fans.

[(Anonymous)]

"The Black Hand"
...Well, shit.
A little late to the party, but please tell me that Suethor knows that The Black Hand is the name for the group of Serbian Rebels who killed Ferdinand and basically kick started WWI.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

It comes up once, when Nora Googles the phrase. So yeah, Fitzpatrick is aware of that much.