Betrayed: Chapter 32
Jun. 18th, 2012 09:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: And lo, we come to the last chapter of Betrayed. Onward, ladies and gents!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 32
ZeldaQueen: Right. We're at the last chapter of this book. There ought to be some sort of resolution here, right? Something to tie most of the plot threads together? Let's see.
When we last left off, Zoey just discovered that her best friend and, implicitly, every student from the House of Night that "died" were living in a series of tunnels under the city, half-alive and killing pot-smoking high school students. She also discovered that their ringleader was Neferet. Neferet mindwipes Zoey into forgetting this, but Zoey breaks the mental block in the same chapter. Now, she remembers everything she just learned and is with a police officer who believes her and is in a position to get her help.
So naturally, it makes sense that she dismisses Officer Marx ASAP, telling him to head on back to the police station with the story that Heath and the two other murdered boys were killed by a crazy homeless guy.
I'm sorry, actually that makes no sense at all. For starters, Zoey and her friends were whining about how humans didn't understand, and were being unfair in thinking that the vampires were involved with the deaths. Now, Zoey has met a human police officer who is involved in the case and has proven himself to be more than willing to be fair to the vampires and work with them to figure out the truth. Her immediate response is to shove him out of the story. She doesn't say she'll contact him in the future, she doesn't tell him that she'll work with him in secret to solve the case or anything, and heck, she doesn't even tell him "I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but I recommend advising people to stay away from the area you found me and Heath in, especially at night". Detective Marx is perfect for Zoey to keep in contact with as a connection to the human world! Near as I can tell, the Cast ladies want a cheap "I must go it alone from here, for it is too dangerous for you" moment. It doesn't make sense, though!
There's also the fact that, to put it delicately, Zoey's cover story is baloney. Okay, so a crazy homeless is attacking and killing high school students. Ignoring the unfortunate implications (especially when one considers the implications that the red-eyed ghosts were also feeding on the homeless, or at least affecting them enough to get them to move away), how does that match up with the attacks? It was publicly reported that the students were viciously slashed and drained of blood. That doesn't sound like a random attack by a crazy person. It sounds like a serial killer. Add in the fact that, near as I could gather, the murdered guys weren't in areas that seemed like particular hotspots for homeless folks, and I'd say that the entire story is just begging for further questioning.
Now granted, I also got the impression that Marx didn't buy the story and only said he did to humor Zoey, but what's going to happen when he tries to file that as the official explanation back at headquarters? Do the Cast ladies really think that Marx's higher-ups wouldn't spot the many plot holes and go to Zoey for another round of interviews? Or try to question Heath? Even if they, by some miracle, did accept that story without question, are we to believe that all of Tulsa would? The attacks were highly publicized! The media would be all over the police finally having a culprit! Surely someone, especially the family or friends of the murdered students, would notice how fishy the cover story was and raise a stink!
Again, this could all lend itself to a very creepy and interesting story. Logically, people would see this case that implicates the very powerful vampires as murderers, see a very generic and plot hole-ridden explanation be provided after the police investigated the vampires, and come to the conclusion that the vampires did something to cover up their misdeeds. Perhaps they bribed the police, or threatened family members. Or, some of the more genre savvy townsfolk might guess that the vampires have mind-controlling powers. In any case, they get pissed that the vampires killing them is being brushed under the rug, and begin to demand that action be taken. The police are between a rock and a hard place, the vampires aren't having their asses kissed and might have to face consequences for being such smug bastards, and Zoey actually has to do stuff to clear their names.
Naturally, none of the above happens. Instead, Marx asks Zoey several times if she's sure she doesn't need his help, actually pointing out what I said above, about how he is in a good position to help her out. I swear, it's like the poor guy knows he's being forced out of the book and is trying to do his best to get something worthwhile done.
Zoey responds to him being concerned about her wellbeing by getting exasperated. We're told that it's because she's so tired. Under other circumstances, I could buy that. Given what a royal bitch she's been, it just feels like "Gawd, why doesn't he just do what I tell him and leave already?" Marx points out that she doesn't have to do things alone, and that "You don't have to deal with whatever it is on your own. I can help you. You're just a kid—just a teenager".
God, she's going to launch into a self-indulgent speech about how she's Better Than your AverageBear Teenager, isn't she?
"I met his eyes steadily. 'No, I'm a fledgling who is leader of the Dark Daughters and a High Priestess in training. Believe me, that's a lot more than just a teenager. I've given you my oath, and you know from your sister that my oath binds me. I promise I've told you everything I can, and if any more kids disappear, I believe I can find them for you.' What I didn't say was that I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I was going to do that, but the promise felt right, and so I knew Nyx would help me keep it. Not that that would be easy. But I couldn't betray Stevie Rae's presence, which meant no one could know about the creatures, or at least not until Stevie Rae was safe"
ZeldaQueen: Hm.
First of all, Zoey? Dearest? You've been a High Priestess in training for all of one month and some odd days. You have held exactly one ritual, and your *ahem* sweeping reforms haven't even been implemented for a day, meaning that you have no grounds to argue that they even worked. So you can't play the "I'm a High Priestess in training!" card to prove your power or maturity. Aphrodite was also a High Priestess in training and the leader of the Dark Daughters, and the entire last book was devoted to proving her to be an evil twat. Not to mention that humans aren't supposed to know about the vampire world, so how does announcing those things hold any weight? It would be like if I was being arrested and told the cop "Don't worry officer, you can take my word for it that I'm innocent! I'm the queen of the Realm of Literacy!"
Second of all, Zoey just admitted that there's the likelihood that more people will be attacked or killed. And what's her reaction to knowing this? "Well, I don't know how I'll deal with that problem if/when it happens, but my Deus Ex Machina feeling tells me that it's the right thing to do, so I'll just rely on a goddess to come down from On High and solve the problem for me!" I have eight words for her - "Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel"
Third of all, I repeat, how is it impossible to work with the police to stop the red-eyed ghosts, without using lethal force on them? I'm pretty sure the police are equipped with nonlethal methods of crowd-control! Knock-out gas? Rubber bullets? Nets? Hello? And right there, we have a police officer who has made it clear that he is willing to listen to and cooperate with Zoey! All she has to do is tell him "There are a bunch of zombified fledglings living under the city, but they were once ordinary teenagers and I think they can be cured. Can you catch them and safely confine them without hurting/killing them, if I scout ahead for you?" and she's all set! The red-eyed ghosts aren't able to kill people, there's a shot at them being cured, and no one else has to die. The police would have the perfect cover story to keep Zoey's name out of it. They could just say that they were scoping out the area that they found Heath and Zoey in, saw suspicious activity down there, and brought back-up. If it was looking like someone would order them to kill the kids anyway they could easily play up the idea that they're very sick teenagers from the town who were presumed dead, and wouldn't it be cruel to deny them a chance to be reunited with their grieving families?
There. How would any of that be a problem?
So Marx clearly isn't happy with this, and Zoey promptly starts describing him in unflattering terms, because gawd, it's so irritating when someone in charge of law and order wants the truth so that they can stop murders. Marx, who I swear is a saint, still acts friendly towards Zoey and rufflers her hair. She, naturally, gets pissy about this. Didn't she spend a portion of this book and the last whining about how she had no parental figures in her life? Now there's a guy who actually is acting kind of like a father figure to her, albeit briefly, and she promptly starts complaining. Are we surprised? We are not. Anyway, Zoey outright says that the police officer has no choice but to listen to her, and I half expect her to go "nyah, nyah" afterwards. Oh, and Zoey? Actually, he does have a choice. He could haul you downtown for extensive questioning, and any laws that might protect you for being underage would go out the window, seeing as you were legally emancipated. Marx is letting you get away with this, because he is willing to show a great deal of misplaced trust in your abilities. Don't be a bitch about it.
The two go into the House of Night, and Zoey is immediately glomped upon by Shaunee, Erin, Damien, and Erik. Oh yeah, remember those guys? They do exist, yeah? I don't blame anyone who forgot about them, given that their only job for the past few chapters was to be Zoey's off-page groupies. Also, Zoey responds to Erik hugging her and saying how worried he was about her by going "Meh, I'll sort out things with Heath and him later. I'm too tired to deal with it now". I might have bought that, if that wasn't Zoey's reaction every flipping time she was made aware of the fact that she had to sort out her stupid love life.
And then, Neferet shows up. Oh goody, I was missing her. She's supposed to be all warm and maternal, but given how bland the writing is, it just comes across as incredibly flat. Because of this, I don't get the sense of betrayal that Zoey feels in knowing that Neferet is really Teh Ebil. Instead, I just think that Zoey is incredibly stupid to have to remind herself that, oh yeah, shiny, pretty things aren't always good. Perish the thought.
Detective Marx starts kissing Zoey's butt, going on about how her mental connection to Heath saved his life. Neferet makes a bit show out of how Zoey's going to get in trouble for drinking Heath's blood, but Zoey makes it clear that she isn't really going to be punished for it. Considering how fledglings drinking human blood is supposed to be one of the biggest no-nos in the vampire world, that blatent favoritism is just disgusting.
Neferet then asks if the officers caught the culprit, and to be fair it's a relatively subtle way to have her nosing for info. Marx plays along with Zoey's story and says that the crazy homeless guy who randomly killed people and made it look like the work of vampires (yes, really) managed to escape, but fortunately Zoey gave a detailed description of the guy. Yet again, Marx is one of the best characters here. Seriously, he delivers this all in a perfectly natural way, and we aren't beat over the heads with "THIS IS TOTALLY HIM LYING! DO YOU SEE THE LYING?" If only Neferet were this subtle, it might have actually be a surprise that she was evil.
Speaking of which, Neferet is clearly shocked, and Zoey makes a huge show of OH LOOK, THERE IS A FLASH OF SURPRISE IN HER EYES WHEN SHE HEARD THAT! Neferet pretends to be all proud of Zoey and hugs her. While holding her, she whispers that if Zoey tries to tell anyone the truth about Neferet, she'll see to it that no human or vampire believes her. She doesn't explain how, but I got the feeling that it would be like with Aphrodite, by spreading rumors and slandering her.
*raises hand* Hey, Neferet? Here's an idea! Why don't you block her memories again? Yes, I'm sure people would argue that Zoey could break through it again, but why couldn't Neferet routinely brainwash her? Yet again, that would make for a fine, creepy story! Or heck, why is Neferet bothering with this at all? Why not just begin to spread seeds of doubt about Zoey right away? The fledglings are clearly stupid enough to buy anything Neferet says, no matter what evidence to the contrary there is. Why can't Neferet get everyone to think that Zoey might be lying for attention or have been abandoned by Nyx or any other number of things, and then tell Zoey "See? This will happen a thousand times worse if you go against me. If you stick with me and do what I tell you, I'll squash the rumors and get people to trust you again". If anything, it would leave Zoey with a legitimate thing to decide upon, to stick to the truth and be ruined, or save face and side with Neferet.
Of course, Zoey's response is equally nonsensical. She counter's Neferet's threats with... calling everyone to gather around (because apparently the others were talking amongst themselves about how awesome it was that Zoey was back, dead serious there), lifting up the back of her shirt, and showing that she now has more tattoos on her back. Everyone, naturally, starts going on about how this is the most awesomesauce thing ever, and Detective Marx comments that "I imagine this means that you continue to be special to your Goddess".
You know, considering that Zoey is Kristin Cast's self insert, I'm sensing an awful lot of wankage here.
It also makes zippo sense. Like I said, Zoey hardly did anything. It would make more sense if we were told that Nyx just got a new tattoo design and randomly decided that she wanted to try it out on someone.
Detective Marx takes his leave, both from the House of Night and the book series in general. Goodbye, good sir. You really shall be missed! Zoey tells Neferet that she's going to light a candle in Nyx's shrine for Stevie Rae. Before heading off to do that, she hugs Neferet and whispers to her that "Humans and fledglings and vampyres don't need to believe me about you because Nyx does. This is not over between us".
In other words, Zoey just outright said "I have a goddess on my side so you can't beat me, nyah, nyah, nyah."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind her making it clear to Neferet that she won't back down. There is a difference, however, with saying "I don't care if everyone turns against me, I know that I'm right!" and saying "God/Nyx/Whoever says that I'm right, so there's no way I can fail!". This is why the Deus Ex Machina Feeling was such a bad idea. Besides being lazy writing, it just makes it clear that Zoey herself won't work to figure anything out. Nyx will just ~poof~ ideas into her head. So Zoey saying that doesn't come across as a badass creed, with her boldly declaring that she'll keep fighting even if she has no support. It just feels like more confirmation that Nyx is going to do all of the work, while everyone smiles and congratulates Zoey for doing a great job.
Aaaaand, that's about it for the chapter and the book. Zoey goes off to the temple of Nyx, and her friends follow along because they clearly don't have lives beyond her. She lights a candle to honor Stevie Rae, and mentally promises to remember her and bring her back. You'll see how high that promise ranks when we get to Chosen, believe you me.
With that, the book just ends. I'm surprised the Cast ladies didn't just write "TO BE CONTINUED" at the end, for all they just dropped off. The red-eyed ghosts? Neferet running the house of night? Blake hitting on Zoey? Zoey's role as the head of the Dark Daughters? Her having imprinted on Heath? Meh, it'll keep, I guess. Fuck resolution. Who needs it?
God, am I tired.
Onward to: Blurb
Back to: Chapter 31
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 32
ZeldaQueen: Right. We're at the last chapter of this book. There ought to be some sort of resolution here, right? Something to tie most of the plot threads together? Let's see.
When we last left off, Zoey just discovered that her best friend and, implicitly, every student from the House of Night that "died" were living in a series of tunnels under the city, half-alive and killing pot-smoking high school students. She also discovered that their ringleader was Neferet. Neferet mindwipes Zoey into forgetting this, but Zoey breaks the mental block in the same chapter. Now, she remembers everything she just learned and is with a police officer who believes her and is in a position to get her help.
So naturally, it makes sense that she dismisses Officer Marx ASAP, telling him to head on back to the police station with the story that Heath and the two other murdered boys were killed by a crazy homeless guy.
I'm sorry, actually that makes no sense at all. For starters, Zoey and her friends were whining about how humans didn't understand, and were being unfair in thinking that the vampires were involved with the deaths. Now, Zoey has met a human police officer who is involved in the case and has proven himself to be more than willing to be fair to the vampires and work with them to figure out the truth. Her immediate response is to shove him out of the story. She doesn't say she'll contact him in the future, she doesn't tell him that she'll work with him in secret to solve the case or anything, and heck, she doesn't even tell him "I can't tell you exactly what's going on, but I recommend advising people to stay away from the area you found me and Heath in, especially at night". Detective Marx is perfect for Zoey to keep in contact with as a connection to the human world! Near as I can tell, the Cast ladies want a cheap "I must go it alone from here, for it is too dangerous for you" moment. It doesn't make sense, though!
There's also the fact that, to put it delicately, Zoey's cover story is baloney. Okay, so a crazy homeless is attacking and killing high school students. Ignoring the unfortunate implications (especially when one considers the implications that the red-eyed ghosts were also feeding on the homeless, or at least affecting them enough to get them to move away), how does that match up with the attacks? It was publicly reported that the students were viciously slashed and drained of blood. That doesn't sound like a random attack by a crazy person. It sounds like a serial killer. Add in the fact that, near as I could gather, the murdered guys weren't in areas that seemed like particular hotspots for homeless folks, and I'd say that the entire story is just begging for further questioning.
Now granted, I also got the impression that Marx didn't buy the story and only said he did to humor Zoey, but what's going to happen when he tries to file that as the official explanation back at headquarters? Do the Cast ladies really think that Marx's higher-ups wouldn't spot the many plot holes and go to Zoey for another round of interviews? Or try to question Heath? Even if they, by some miracle, did accept that story without question, are we to believe that all of Tulsa would? The attacks were highly publicized! The media would be all over the police finally having a culprit! Surely someone, especially the family or friends of the murdered students, would notice how fishy the cover story was and raise a stink!
Again, this could all lend itself to a very creepy and interesting story. Logically, people would see this case that implicates the very powerful vampires as murderers, see a very generic and plot hole-ridden explanation be provided after the police investigated the vampires, and come to the conclusion that the vampires did something to cover up their misdeeds. Perhaps they bribed the police, or threatened family members. Or, some of the more genre savvy townsfolk might guess that the vampires have mind-controlling powers. In any case, they get pissed that the vampires killing them is being brushed under the rug, and begin to demand that action be taken. The police are between a rock and a hard place, the vampires aren't having their asses kissed and might have to face consequences for being such smug bastards, and Zoey actually has to do stuff to clear their names.
Naturally, none of the above happens. Instead, Marx asks Zoey several times if she's sure she doesn't need his help, actually pointing out what I said above, about how he is in a good position to help her out. I swear, it's like the poor guy knows he's being forced out of the book and is trying to do his best to get something worthwhile done.
Zoey responds to him being concerned about her wellbeing by getting exasperated. We're told that it's because she's so tired. Under other circumstances, I could buy that. Given what a royal bitch she's been, it just feels like "Gawd, why doesn't he just do what I tell him and leave already?" Marx points out that she doesn't have to do things alone, and that "You don't have to deal with whatever it is on your own. I can help you. You're just a kid—just a teenager".
God, she's going to launch into a self-indulgent speech about how she's Better Than your Average
"I met his eyes steadily. 'No, I'm a fledgling who is leader of the Dark Daughters and a High Priestess in training. Believe me, that's a lot more than just a teenager. I've given you my oath, and you know from your sister that my oath binds me. I promise I've told you everything I can, and if any more kids disappear, I believe I can find them for you.' What I didn't say was that I wasn't one hundred percent sure how I was going to do that, but the promise felt right, and so I knew Nyx would help me keep it. Not that that would be easy. But I couldn't betray Stevie Rae's presence, which meant no one could know about the creatures, or at least not until Stevie Rae was safe"
ZeldaQueen: Hm.
First of all, Zoey? Dearest? You've been a High Priestess in training for all of one month and some odd days. You have held exactly one ritual, and your *ahem* sweeping reforms haven't even been implemented for a day, meaning that you have no grounds to argue that they even worked. So you can't play the "I'm a High Priestess in training!" card to prove your power or maturity. Aphrodite was also a High Priestess in training and the leader of the Dark Daughters, and the entire last book was devoted to proving her to be an evil twat. Not to mention that humans aren't supposed to know about the vampire world, so how does announcing those things hold any weight? It would be like if I was being arrested and told the cop "Don't worry officer, you can take my word for it that I'm innocent! I'm the queen of the Realm of Literacy!"
Second of all, Zoey just admitted that there's the likelihood that more people will be attacked or killed. And what's her reaction to knowing this? "Well, I don't know how I'll deal with that problem if/when it happens, but my Deus Ex Machina feeling tells me that it's the right thing to do, so I'll just rely on a goddess to come down from On High and solve the problem for me!" I have eight words for her - "Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel"
Third of all, I repeat, how is it impossible to work with the police to stop the red-eyed ghosts, without using lethal force on them? I'm pretty sure the police are equipped with nonlethal methods of crowd-control! Knock-out gas? Rubber bullets? Nets? Hello? And right there, we have a police officer who has made it clear that he is willing to listen to and cooperate with Zoey! All she has to do is tell him "There are a bunch of zombified fledglings living under the city, but they were once ordinary teenagers and I think they can be cured. Can you catch them and safely confine them without hurting/killing them, if I scout ahead for you?" and she's all set! The red-eyed ghosts aren't able to kill people, there's a shot at them being cured, and no one else has to die. The police would have the perfect cover story to keep Zoey's name out of it. They could just say that they were scoping out the area that they found Heath and Zoey in, saw suspicious activity down there, and brought back-up. If it was looking like someone would order them to kill the kids anyway they could easily play up the idea that they're very sick teenagers from the town who were presumed dead, and wouldn't it be cruel to deny them a chance to be reunited with their grieving families?
There. How would any of that be a problem?
So Marx clearly isn't happy with this, and Zoey promptly starts describing him in unflattering terms, because gawd, it's so irritating when someone in charge of law and order wants the truth so that they can stop murders. Marx, who I swear is a saint, still acts friendly towards Zoey and rufflers her hair. She, naturally, gets pissy about this. Didn't she spend a portion of this book and the last whining about how she had no parental figures in her life? Now there's a guy who actually is acting kind of like a father figure to her, albeit briefly, and she promptly starts complaining. Are we surprised? We are not. Anyway, Zoey outright says that the police officer has no choice but to listen to her, and I half expect her to go "nyah, nyah" afterwards. Oh, and Zoey? Actually, he does have a choice. He could haul you downtown for extensive questioning, and any laws that might protect you for being underage would go out the window, seeing as you were legally emancipated. Marx is letting you get away with this, because he is willing to show a great deal of misplaced trust in your abilities. Don't be a bitch about it.
The two go into the House of Night, and Zoey is immediately glomped upon by Shaunee, Erin, Damien, and Erik. Oh yeah, remember those guys? They do exist, yeah? I don't blame anyone who forgot about them, given that their only job for the past few chapters was to be Zoey's off-page groupies. Also, Zoey responds to Erik hugging her and saying how worried he was about her by going "Meh, I'll sort out things with Heath and him later. I'm too tired to deal with it now". I might have bought that, if that wasn't Zoey's reaction every flipping time she was made aware of the fact that she had to sort out her stupid love life.
And then, Neferet shows up. Oh goody, I was missing her. She's supposed to be all warm and maternal, but given how bland the writing is, it just comes across as incredibly flat. Because of this, I don't get the sense of betrayal that Zoey feels in knowing that Neferet is really Teh Ebil. Instead, I just think that Zoey is incredibly stupid to have to remind herself that, oh yeah, shiny, pretty things aren't always good. Perish the thought.
Detective Marx starts kissing Zoey's butt, going on about how her mental connection to Heath saved his life. Neferet makes a bit show out of how Zoey's going to get in trouble for drinking Heath's blood, but Zoey makes it clear that she isn't really going to be punished for it. Considering how fledglings drinking human blood is supposed to be one of the biggest no-nos in the vampire world, that blatent favoritism is just disgusting.
Neferet then asks if the officers caught the culprit, and to be fair it's a relatively subtle way to have her nosing for info. Marx plays along with Zoey's story and says that the crazy homeless guy who randomly killed people and made it look like the work of vampires (yes, really) managed to escape, but fortunately Zoey gave a detailed description of the guy. Yet again, Marx is one of the best characters here. Seriously, he delivers this all in a perfectly natural way, and we aren't beat over the heads with "THIS IS TOTALLY HIM LYING! DO YOU SEE THE LYING?" If only Neferet were this subtle, it might have actually be a surprise that she was evil.
Speaking of which, Neferet is clearly shocked, and Zoey makes a huge show of OH LOOK, THERE IS A FLASH OF SURPRISE IN HER EYES WHEN SHE HEARD THAT! Neferet pretends to be all proud of Zoey and hugs her. While holding her, she whispers that if Zoey tries to tell anyone the truth about Neferet, she'll see to it that no human or vampire believes her. She doesn't explain how, but I got the feeling that it would be like with Aphrodite, by spreading rumors and slandering her.
*raises hand* Hey, Neferet? Here's an idea! Why don't you block her memories again? Yes, I'm sure people would argue that Zoey could break through it again, but why couldn't Neferet routinely brainwash her? Yet again, that would make for a fine, creepy story! Or heck, why is Neferet bothering with this at all? Why not just begin to spread seeds of doubt about Zoey right away? The fledglings are clearly stupid enough to buy anything Neferet says, no matter what evidence to the contrary there is. Why can't Neferet get everyone to think that Zoey might be lying for attention or have been abandoned by Nyx or any other number of things, and then tell Zoey "See? This will happen a thousand times worse if you go against me. If you stick with me and do what I tell you, I'll squash the rumors and get people to trust you again". If anything, it would leave Zoey with a legitimate thing to decide upon, to stick to the truth and be ruined, or save face and side with Neferet.
Of course, Zoey's response is equally nonsensical. She counter's Neferet's threats with... calling everyone to gather around (because apparently the others were talking amongst themselves about how awesome it was that Zoey was back, dead serious there), lifting up the back of her shirt, and showing that she now has more tattoos on her back. Everyone, naturally, starts going on about how this is the most awesomesauce thing ever, and Detective Marx comments that "I imagine this means that you continue to be special to your Goddess".
You know, considering that Zoey is Kristin Cast's self insert, I'm sensing an awful lot of wankage here.
It also makes zippo sense. Like I said, Zoey hardly did anything. It would make more sense if we were told that Nyx just got a new tattoo design and randomly decided that she wanted to try it out on someone.
Detective Marx takes his leave, both from the House of Night and the book series in general. Goodbye, good sir. You really shall be missed! Zoey tells Neferet that she's going to light a candle in Nyx's shrine for Stevie Rae. Before heading off to do that, she hugs Neferet and whispers to her that "Humans and fledglings and vampyres don't need to believe me about you because Nyx does. This is not over between us".
In other words, Zoey just outright said "I have a goddess on my side so you can't beat me, nyah, nyah, nyah."
I mean, don't get me wrong, I don't mind her making it clear to Neferet that she won't back down. There is a difference, however, with saying "I don't care if everyone turns against me, I know that I'm right!" and saying "God/Nyx/Whoever says that I'm right, so there's no way I can fail!". This is why the Deus Ex Machina Feeling was such a bad idea. Besides being lazy writing, it just makes it clear that Zoey herself won't work to figure anything out. Nyx will just ~poof~ ideas into her head. So Zoey saying that doesn't come across as a badass creed, with her boldly declaring that she'll keep fighting even if she has no support. It just feels like more confirmation that Nyx is going to do all of the work, while everyone smiles and congratulates Zoey for doing a great job.
Aaaaand, that's about it for the chapter and the book. Zoey goes off to the temple of Nyx, and her friends follow along because they clearly don't have lives beyond her. She lights a candle to honor Stevie Rae, and mentally promises to remember her and bring her back. You'll see how high that promise ranks when we get to Chosen, believe you me.
With that, the book just ends. I'm surprised the Cast ladies didn't just write "TO BE CONTINUED" at the end, for all they just dropped off. The red-eyed ghosts? Neferet running the house of night? Blake hitting on Zoey? Zoey's role as the head of the Dark Daughters? Her having imprinted on Heath? Meh, it'll keep, I guess. Fuck resolution. Who needs it?
God, am I tired.
Onward to: Blurb
Back to: Chapter 31
Back to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 02:09 am (UTC)All my facepalms regarding Zoey there. Seriously. All of them.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 03:05 am (UTC)Even though I intellectually know that I must have some speck of talent, between this, and Hush, Hush, and 50 Shades, and Twilight and the whole lot of them, I sincerely want to give up on ever publishing my book because there is no way in hell I could ever compete with this idiocy.
I will say, my MC most definitely would go to the House of Night and slaughter every single one of them. Just to send the message that vampires are not all powerful and they shouldn't feel safe in their little schools. It would probably help that —by canon in my book—dragon's blood is poisonous to vampires. It would be sickeningly amazing to see Zoey be put in her place and shown that Nyx won't always be there to save her pathetic ass.
...I may has issues...I REALLY HATE ZOEY AND I WANT HER TO DDDDIIIIIEEEEEE.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 09:16 am (UTC)And I like Detective Marx. He seems like a nice guy, he's sensible, and his connection to the vampire world seems a hell of a lot more interesting than Zoey's. Why can't the next book be about him instead? I bet he'd do something more interesting than try to date three guys at once.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 03:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 09:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-20 05:25 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-19 10:19 pm (UTC)Epic Freudian slip.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-23 04:36 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-20 02:43 pm (UTC)It sort of pains me how bad that last section was -- it had the potential to go really well! As a sort of plotty, mid-book, villain confrontation
that I normally see between Harry and Dumbledore in the more shitty Harmony/Independent!Harry fics"oh god don't get anyone else involved everyone might die", "I must have faith in my goddess because right is on my side!", type deal, but then I'd want Marx to show up later to prove that you can't shove everyone who might be helpful out, and normally Zoey's line to Neferet would get binned before the final edit; finagling with it to get it to sound right is too much effort in this scenario.Of course, that would mean that we'd actually have a likeable protagonist, a plot that wasn't revealed in a rain of dead fish and a coherent book. Oops.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-20 05:30 pm (UTC)/I have eight words for her - "Trust in Allah, but tie up your camel"/
Huh, that’s a neat expression. *makes a mental note to remember it*
/Zoey responds to him being concerned about her wellbeing by getting exasperated. We're told that it's because she's so tired./
and
/Also, Zoey responds to Erik hugging her and saying how worried he was about her by going "Meh, I'll sort out things with Heath and him later. I'm too tired to deal with it now"./
She seems to use the “I’m tired” excuse a lot when it comes to avoiding conflict, doesn’t she?
/You'll see how high that promise ranks when we get to Chosen, believe you me./
Let me guess, Zoey will care more about who she’s dating than her own friend. *sighs*
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-23 04:21 am (UTC)I know! ^^ The story behind it is cool too, and teaches a lesson that Zoey desperately needs to learn.
And yes, she does use "I'm tired" as an excuse for everything. She used stress as an excuse to procrastinate her Dark Daughters ceremony (which took half an hour to sort out, lord), and basically declared that she won't worry about Neferet obviously being evil/mysteriously undead students on the grounds/one of the teachers spontaneously hitting on her/etc because she's simply too stressed to deal with it. You know, I know a lot of people whine because Harry doesn't devote every minute of his time to becoming a Terminator or whatnot, but at least he was able to focus on the weird and mysterious things going on, even as he juggled dating and Quidditch and school.
"Let me guess, Zoey will care more about who she’s dating than her own friend. *sighs*"
No, she also will care more about what people got her for her birthday than her friend. I wish I were joking.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-22 07:54 am (UTC)It never occurred to be that Zoe is Kristin Cast's self insert. Why did I not see it before? Even though I've always thought PC Cast's goddess series was TOTALLY featuring her self-inserts.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-23 04:32 am (UTC)Yeah, Zoey looks like Kristin, lives in the same town as Kristin, and Word of Gods (Goddesses? :P) is that they decided how Zoey would act by seeing how Kristin would act in certain scenarios. Which...really raises a lot of questions.
Augh, I could by the Goddess Summoning series to be full of PC's self inserts. The entire thing is like Twilight for adults, the whole "Woe, I am an attractive an intelligent woman, but I am unappreciated by any good men! But not to worry, for I am so wonderful that I will get the love of a Greek god! :D"
(no subject)
Date: 2012-06-23 05:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-18 08:35 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-19 11:20 am (UTC)And what are you trying to tell me, exactly? I never said the suethors' appearance had any bearing to the book. I was just making an observation that Kristin Cast looks sort of like a non-white person in the photos.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-19 11:55 am (UTC)And whoa, presumptuous much? Did you even read the preceding discussion before butting in the conversation?
Zeldaqueen said that Zoey looks like Kristin, which I didn't know because I never saw pictures of the Casts. I made that remark after looking up the pictures, and I was just making an observation that Kristin does look non-white, which fits Zoey's description of herself.
Seriously :/ I KNOW the book sucks, okay?
(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-19 12:59 pm (UTC)Well, fair enough, but I may have over-reacted to you calling Kristin 'a little more exotic', rather than say what you really meant, that Kristin's appearance matches Zoey's description. When you use the word exotic, you imply a sense of 'other' - one says 'she's exotic', one means 'she's too much NOT like me'; here's 'us', there's 'them'.
Considering Zoey's of Cherokee descent, and her and Kristin's appearances seem to match, we're suggesting Kristin may be part Cherokee, too. Now, when you call her exotic, you bring in all the Native American stereotypes of them being mystical, magickal people who listen to the spirits and 'paint with all the colours of the wind'. It's the spiritual Na'avi and their Mother All Goddess Eywa all over again, it's the Quileutes of Meyer's series and their mystical, magickal wolfing.
But, y'know, if what you meant to say was 'Boy, do Zoey and Kristin seem alike!', that would've been fine, and if by exotic you didn't mean what I read into it, then fine. I read into everything like it's my job.
I'm sure you know the books suck, but hey, I was just applying my own logic, which goes 'Unless the author's race or ethnicity directly influenced the work in a significant way, it doesn't actually matter'. Then again, I don't know what others know all the time; sometimes you need to play it safe and assume they don't.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-19 02:18 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-20 06:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2013-08-21 02:38 am (UTC)You fellows have made your points and thank you both for your input, so let us move on, shall we?