Crescendo: Chapter 1

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: Posting early today, because tomorrow is the day there will be an "internet black-out" to protest SOPA and PIPA. So everyone knows, a long list of websites, including Google, Wikipedia, Mozilla, all icanhazcheezeburger sites, and Wordpress. For a full list, and an impressive list of links to the specific times and announcements, please check out this post, at gehayi's journal.


Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

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Chapter 1

ZeldaQueen: We start off the story with Nora telling us how Patch is groping her hips, because apparently hip-grabbing is to Fitzpatrick what shoulder-flashing is to Cassandra Clare and leg-hitching and face-stroking are to Stephenie Meyer. We're told that he's right behind her while he's doing this, all relaxed-like, and in some weird way I feel I ought to congratulate Fitzpatrick. I think this is the first book that made me think of buttsex in the first freaking sentence of the first freaking chapter.

We then are launched into a very long description of how hot Patch is, what his build is, what sort of clothes he's wearing, how he's all dark and brooding and sexy, and so on and so forth. Good to see there's no farting around, nope. Fitzpatrick is just cutting directly to the important part of the story. Also, and this pisses me off double given how little a part she played in the plot of the first book, notice how Nora is describing her boyfriend before introducing herself at all. Lovely to see how Nora is defined by Patch now.

Well, we next get a description of the scenery. It seems this wacky couple are at the local beach (so...is Coldwater near the ocean, then? A lake? Do we get any hints at all to what this geography is?), and it's now June. According to the first chapter in Hush, Hush, it was late April then. Thus, we know that it's been roughly two months between that book and this one.

It seems that it's the start of tourist season in Coldwater, and apparently this warrants a celebration at the beach, complete with a carnival, food vendors, and fireworks. We also find out that Nora is signed up for one summer course, chemistry. What's that, you ask? Why is she taking a summer course when we were told that she not only was a straight-A student, but also on her way into Harvard, Yale, or Stanford? Why my dears, the answer is plot convenience. I'm dead serious. We're just told that Nora is taking that summer course. Nothing about her somehow missing the credit. Nothing about her flunking. Just...class to take!

Nora also makes it clear that she intends to spend every spare minute not in summer school glued to Patch's side. Of course! It's not like she'd want to spend time with her friends or mother or anyone! Nope, her asshole of a boyfriend is someone any girl would want to spend excessive amounts of time with! And yes, Nora talking endlessly about how great Patch is, and how much she wants to spend every second with him, is going to haunt us throughout this story. Why do you ask?

Right. It's high time that something actually happened. Nora remembers that she hasn't eaten since lunch, and tells Patch that she's off to get a cheeseburger. He offers to get it for her, and we get some random - and I do mean random - komedy about how he probably wouldn't have to pay for it...here, just look at it for yourself!

"I snagged one of his belt loops to stop him. 'Thanks, but I’m ordering. I can’t take the guilt.'

He raised his eyebrows in inquiry.

'When was the last time the girl at the hamburger stand let you pay for food?'

'It’s been a while.'

'It’s been never. Stay here. If she sees you, I’ll spend the rest of the night with a guilty conscience.'

Patch opened his wallet and pulled out a twenty. 'Leave her a nice tip.'

It was my turn to raise my eyebrows. 'Trying to redeem yourself for all those times you took free food?'

'Last time I paid, she chased me down and shoved the money in my pocket. I’m trying to avoid another groping.'

It sounded made up, but knowing Patch, it was probably true."

ZeldaQueen: Um...what? What is the point of that? What does it mean? Are we supposed to assume that Patch is just so sexy that all female employees consider him worthy of not paying for anything? If so, it doesn't work like that! I don't care how sexy a guy is, believe it or not, there are women who put their jobs before their hormones and don't accept hotness as a form of payment!

It's almost as random as Nora's guilty conscious schtick. Oh yes, I believe that Nora feels bad about Patch getting free food by dazzling girls into submission, and almost certainly getting them into trouble with their employers. Just look at how sorry she felt for Dabria, after Patch gave her a G-rated fuck to get her to go against the rules and tell him someone slated to die, just because he was too lazy to find someone himself. Oh, no, wait. No sympathy for Dabria. She used to date Patch, and thus deserves nothing but revile.

Also, don't you just love Patch having the gall to make a joke about being groped to the girl who he has done nothing but grope and harass since the first chapter of the first book of this series?

So yeah. Nora heads off for her cheeseburger, and apparently there is only one stall for that on the entire beach. Presumably, this little shin-dig was thrown at the start of tourist season to make some money from the first arrival of said tourists. They only have one stall to sell one of the most popular outdoor summer foods around.

That makes absolutely no sense at all. Fitzpatrick, do you have any idea as to how the world works?

Oh no, wait, there's a reason why there's only one stall to get cheeseburgers. It's the same reason Nora is taking a summer course - plot convenience. Because while she's standing in line, who happens to get in line behind her but Marcy Miller. Oh boy, remember her? The girl who made a grand total of...two, maybe three appearances in Hush, Hush? The girl whose main contribution to the plot was being clobbered by Jules for daring to upset Nora? Yeah, she's back, and she'll be a pretty big player in this story. Of course, that also means that it's a pretty stupid part.

And with that being said, we waste no time in learning what a horrible, horrible person Marcy is. And I mean horrible beyond the lukewarm dislike Nora had for her in Hush, Hush. Seriously, it's painfully obvious that Fitzpatrick only thought up Marcy's backstory in this book. Right away, we learn this

"Because of her, the whole school had seen more of my underwear than necessary. In junior high, Marcie’s usual MO was stealing my bra from my gym locker and pinning it to the bulletin board outside the main offices, but occasionally she got creative and used it as a centerpiece in the cafeteria—both my A cups filled with vanilla pudding and topped with maraschino cherries. Classy, I know"

ZeldaQueen: If that sounds like a cheap stunt pulled only in teen chick flicks, congratulations. You spotted the latest genre that Fitzpatrick is stealing cliches from.

I mean really, Fitzpatrick? Really? Do you want me to explain how stupid that is? Allow me to do so.

First of all, so Marcy continuously stole Nora's bra, did she? Alright, I could buy that the teacher didn't do anything, because apparently the three or so teachers we have seen are incredibly incompetent. That still doesn't explain why Nora didn't solve this problem with the novel concept we like to call A LOCK! They do allow those in high school locker rooms, you know! Even if one is not provided, they are readily available for purchase at most convenience stores! Why couldn't Nora have stuck a mother fucking lock to solve the problem?

And even if she somehow couldn't get a lock, why not get creative? Why not ask someone in class to let her hide her undergarments in their locker for the class, to throw Marcy off the trail? Or pile up her books so that it would be difficult to get at her clothes? Or generally give the idea that she did something besides wibble and whine and be useless?

That's not even going into the fridge logic of why Nora wasn't wearing her bra to gym class to begin with. Even if she did have A cups (and thanks for that, I really was interested in Nora's bra size there, Fitzpatrick), she's going to want a bra for gym. This is not the twisted world of Hogwarts Exposed, doing work-outs is annoying without a bra. Are we to assume that she's wearing a sports bra? If that's the case, that begs the question of how she could shell out money for a second bra, and not  A FUCKING LOCK! (I really can't get over that, sorry)

Of course, then there's what Marcy is actually doing with the bra. She stuck it multiple times on the bulletin board, did she? Well, I think it's safe to say that the secretary or principle at least would notice that. It's a high school, I'm sure the large crowd of teenagers laughing at the sight would get attention. And given that Nora apparently reclaimed the bra each time, I'd imagine that the principle would notice that it's the same bra stolen from the same person, and sit Nora down to find out what was going on. If that were the case, and Nora had two brain cells to rub together and told him that Marcy was the one doing it, it begs the question of why the principle wasn't taking steps to get Marcy to knock off such behavior, if only to stop causing students to gather around the bulletin board for a laugh. If Nora didn't tell him, it begs the question of why the fuck not?

As for the cafeteria prank...how does that even work? Where would she hang it in the cafeteria? How would she have enough time to steal the pudding and cherries, fill the bra, and stick it in a place where everyone could see it, all without being caught. The cafeterias are rarely empty, even when it's not lunch. Trust me, my mother is a lunch lady at the local high school. One of their jobs is to chase out any students who are sneaking out of class to hang out there.

It's astonishing how full of fail such a relatively brief anecdote can be, isn't it?

We then get a very random description of what Marcy looks like, all making her look as slutty as possible, and then go back to being told about the pranks she has played on Nora. No, I am not being abrupt. See for yourself!

"Marcie’s skirts were two sizes too small and five inches too short. Her hair was strawberry blond, and she had the shape of a Popsicle stick—turn her sideways and she practically disappeared. If there was a scoreboard keeping track of wins and losses between us, I was pretty sure Marcie had double my score."

ZeldaQueen: *flaps hands* I just...what? What does that description have to do with anything? That is the most random thing yet! She just said "Marcy is blonde and skinny and wears short skirts and is a whore. She just keeps one-upping me with pranks, ha ha!"

And so you guys can steel yourselves, that is something that constantly happens when Nora is talking about Marcy. She'll be describing something Marcy-related, and all out of left field, she'll suddenly make a comment about how Marcy wears short skirts, or is all slathered in make-up, or is generally a harlot. It's pretty much a running theme for this story, and in response, I have decided to have my first count, just for it. I present to you the YOU FUCKING WHORE count, which will go up any time a character (usually Marcy, but any character) is bashed for having sex or wearing tight clothes or anything in the vein of slut-shaming. Let us start off with three, one for each of the traits we're supposed to sneer at Marcy for.

YOU FUCKING WHORE: 3

ZeldaQueen: So. Nora accidentally catches Marcy's eye, and thus feels obligated to at least say hello. Marcy says hello back, and actually is civil, so of course Nora starts bashing Marcy's family. I'm dead serious. She goes on about how they're filthy rich and live in an upscale neighborhood and Mr. Miller owns the local Toyota dealership and aren't they horrible people for having money? They also are members of the Harraseeket Yacht Club, which Nora talks about like it's some ultra-snobby organization. The club is a real one, located in South Freeport Maine, and, in their website's words, "Our primary purpose is to encourage and promote the sport of boating and the science of seamanship and navigation, particularly through programs of instruction for young people." Yes, that certainly sounds like a snobby upper-crust club to me. Anyway, Nora thinks that it's so bizarro for Marcy to be at the beach, because she's an uptown snob and "Delphic was a slum beach. The thought of a yacht club was laughable. The sole restaurant came in the form of a whitewashed hamburger stand with your choice of ketchup or mustard. On a good day, fries were offered in the mix. The entertainment slanted toward loud arcades and bumper cars, and after dark, the parking lot was known to sell more drugs than a pharmacy." She adds that it's "Not the kind of atmosphere Mr. and Mrs. Millar would have their daughter polluting herself in."

Is Coldwater secretly operating under some form of caste system? Or is Nora genuinely under the delusion that upper-class people consider things like bumper cars or arcades or hamburger stands to be vile, common things, beneath their interest? For that matter, has Nora never heard of teenagers sneaking out of the house to go to places their parents would not approve of? Nora herself did just that several times, in the previous book.

Also, would someone care to explain why every single place in Coldewater is rundown and filthy and seedy? Anyone?

Marcy starts bitching about how slow the line is moving, because we're supposed to not like her. Nora informs her that there's only one person running the stall, and Marcy cites supply and demand, saying that they ought to have sent more people to man the booth. Nora narrates in response to this, "Given her GPA, Marcie was the last person who should be
spouting economics".

Because not only is Marcy slutty and bitchy, she's also stupid, dur hur! Never mind the fact that she's right! What sort of company in their right mind would only have one person running the only hamburger stand up for an entire carnival! This is clearly a community event! The manager of the joint the stand is selling for should have assigned shifts expecting a crowd! Even if that weren't the case, who the HELL only puts ONE PERSON in charge of an ENTIRE HAMBURGER STALL?!? HOW IS THAT IN ANY WAY EFFICIENT? WHAT WERE THEY EXPECTING TO DO IF THEY RAN OUT OF CONDIMENTS, OR NEEDED HELP WITH THE COOKING? OH MY GOD, THIS IS STUPID!

*pants furiously* God Almighty! This is the first fucking chapter! It's already killing me!

*grits teeth and continues on* Ten minutes later, Nora is nearly at the stand. Marcy starts bitching once more about how slow the line is. For absolutely no reason at all - AND I MEAN NO REASON - Nora decides to give a shot at being friends with Marcy. Yes, after apparently a rivalry lasting as of many years and all of that talk about the bra pranks, Nora is just randomly deciding that they can be friends.

And of course, it doesn't work. What, did you think it would? No, it's all an incredibly obvious set-up for Marcy to be rude about the girl working the hamburger stall too slowly. Apparently she is grilling each hamburger as they are ordered. Um, granted I have not been to a carnival booth for hamburgers in some time, but I'm pretty sure that's not how it works. If I recall, they continually grill the meat and take it off of the grill when it's asked for. You know, that way they can maximize efficiency and serve the customers quickly.

By now, I'm pretty well convinced that Marcy has every right to be pissed off at these people. They clearly have no clue at all how to run the hamburger stand.

But no, we're to think badly of Marcy for this. Nora starts narrating about how the girl working the stall is just such a poor, overworked thing who probably hates her life and weeps in the car and isn't Nora such a kind soul for thinking of others like that?

Considering how unfeeling Nora has been in the last book and considering what I know she's going to do in this book, don't you try to pull that card, Fitzpatrick. Don't you even. And don't try to go the "pity those poor workers" route, not after spending all of Hush, Hush writing every one of those people as shallow and cruel to your poor Mary Sue of a protagonist.

Nora decides that the best thing to do is ignore Marcy, get her food, and go back to enjoy the evening. No, I'm sorry, that is what a sensible person would have done. Nora actually taunts Marcy about her hoity-toity father, with his money and membership to that yacht club, and dear lord that girl is stupid. Marcy, predictably, makes a very lame jab at how Nora's father is dead, which almost is exactly lifted from Dudley's "Where's your mum, Potter? Is she dead?" line in the Order of the Phoenix movie.

We're supposed to think Marcy's just a catty bitch for that, aren't we, Fitzpatrick? I'm sorry, but I just think Nora is a moron. After years of Marcy making it clear that she hates Nora and won't try making peace with her, Nora ought to be smart enough to know to ignore her. And instead, she's actively providing her with ammo! That's like if a dog growled at me every day, and instead of knowing to stay away from it, I decided one day to try to pet it because even though it has growled every day, maybe this day it'll be different!

Nora instantly starts to wibble at this. I don't buy it. Nora hardly gave her dead father two thoughts in Hush, Hush, and we're supposed to suddenly buy here that just hearing "He's dead" is enough to make her feel like she as punched in the gut? Nora asks "What did I ever do to you?" and Marcy gives the incredibly cliched and stupid answer of "You were born".

Well! That idiotic reply just takes all of the fight out of Nora! Just like that, she nearly crumples up crying, and so shocked is she that she just can't think of a good comeback. (And that's different than normal how, exactly?) She runs off and wants to return to Patch, but refuses to do so because she knows he'll figure out what happened, and does not want to get him involved.

*raises eyebrow* You know, I can understand someone not wanting to talk about a fight or otherwise spoil a fun night out by dragging in drama. Really, I do. Given that it was just the last book though, when Nora thought that Patch clobbered Marcy for upsetting her...

...Thanks, Fitzpatrick, for making it sound like Nora doesn't want to tell her boyfriend about it because she's worried he'll beat Marcy up for it. I really needed that idea in my head.

Nora continues to cry and I want to grab her by the shoulders and shout for her to grow a backbone. And I don't want that to be my response, honestly! A dead father is something a character has legitmate reason to be upset about! But like I said, Nora had nowhere near this level of reaction whenever anyone in the last book brought up her father's death. As a result, it just comes across as Nora falling over like a limp noodle for petty insults.

While we're on the subject of Nora not remembering things, I'd like to also remind everyone that it was two months ago that Nora was stalked, captured, nearly murdered several times, watched someone get shot in front of her, was attacked in a motel room by Patch, had Patch's ex-girlfriend attack her and swear revenge on her, and died and came back to life via an inexplicable loophole. If her father's death, which happened fourteen months ago, gets this sort of a response from Nora still, why is Nora all smiles and sunshine and apparently completely recovered from the events of the last book?

I suspect the answer is that Fitzpatrick has no idea how trauma works.

Nora finally stops crying and goes off to find Patch. It turns out that Patch has hooked up with Rixon, so we get a long description of how Rixon and Patch are the bestest of buddies ever. Of course, I know that because they had two scenes together in Hush, Hush! Fitzpatrick! Show! Don't tell!

Nora of course tells how Rixon is a fallen angel, though she conveniently leaves out the nasty details, like his ability to mind rape and how he steals an innocent person's body for two weeks out of every year. She segues from this to how Patch was once a fallen angel. Yes, we had to get this far into the story before bringing up the angels. Aren't you glad that Nora's angst took precedence over that?

Anyway, Nora outright admits that even though he's a guardian angel now and is expected to, you know, not be a douchebag anymore, he still likes hanging out with the fallen angels and Nora suspects that he likes that better than being a guardian. Nora conveniently doesn't bring it up, but I'd like to remind you guys that all angels hate fallen angels, because they have no qualms about mindraping humans and breeding Nephilim and generally being bastards. For some reason though, they're fine with Our Hero continuing to pal around with them. Even beter, Nora says she strongly suspects that Patch regrets being a guardian, because he still wants to be human. Never mind the fact that he took the job as it was the only way to save Nora's life. Never mind that we still have no convincing explanation as to why he wants to be human. Nope. Don't we all just feel sorry for Patch, not getting to be human?

I do not. Suck it.

There is a Big Lipped Alligator Moment where Vee calls Nora, and Nora lets it go to voicemail, commenting to herself that she hasn't answered any of Vee's calls for the day. This is never explained, and I really think it was only included to remind readers that Vee exists.

Nora goes over to Patch, who is bowling, and pretty much creams herself over a small bit of skin showing from his shirt riding up. After Nora talks about how finely-toned his back is (both hands on the keyboard, Fitzpatrick!), she goes up to him and bets that he can't get a strike. She bets five dollars, and he tells her that he doesn't want her money. *closes eyes* That gives me flashbacks to Hush, Hush. I don't like that. And no, it's not me imagining things, because Rixon also picks up on the inuendo and tells them to save it until they get home.

Patch, of course, knocks down all of the pins. He makes it clear that Nora is to pay up, telling her "I’m about to get lucky", and Rixon says "Aye, now you’re in trouble, lass". God. After all of the rapey overtones of the last book, stop it. I'm begging you! Thankfully, it stops when Patch chooses an ugly toy bear as a prize and gives it to Nora, telling her "You like the rejects. At the grocery store, you always take the dented cans. I’ve been paying attention".

She always takes the - the dented... is Nora trying to get botchulism? Or is Fitzpatrick just so unaware that she doesn't know...I - I - 

THIS BOOK IS SO STUPID!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry! That just...that somehow was what tipped me over the edge! I'm good!

Um...I might not be after all.

Because Patch basically says that they should go off and have make-out time. I say "make-out time" and not "sexy time" because as we see with Marcy, girls who actually put out are unvirtuous little tramps and no self-respecting abusive boy would want them. Nora says that they can't go over to her place, because her mother's home. She then heavily hints that she wants to go over to his place for it, because it's been two months since they started dating, and he hasn't shown her his place at all, and he...erm, he lives alone.

She wants to go over to this guys place, where he lives all by himself, to be romantic. There's also no sign of her telling her mother about this either, so she'd be going out alone with Patch, to a remote location, with no one who knows where she's gone to to bail her out if things go badly, and her being dependent on Patch to get home, leaving him free to refuse and keep her there if he wishes.

Where have we seen this situation before?

I...Jesus Christ. After that, she's just eager as all get-out to go trotting right back into EXACTLY THE SAME SITUATION! After...that chapter! That one! And... I - I'm at a loss for words here. I...I need therapy of some kind... need some sort of outlet to properly express my feelings...



ZeldaQueen: There we go! Oh England, you're so cute when you're flustered!

*puffs* So yeah. This obsession with visiting Patch's place marks the start of a different shade of Nora, one which we saw hints of in the last book, but which we will see a lot more of in this one. This shade of Nora is...very creepy. And stalkery. She tries to justify her wish to track down Patch at his home, with "I knew nothing about the private, intimate details of Patch’s life, like the color of paint on his walls. If his can opener was electric or manual. The brand of soap he showered with. If his sheets were cotton or silk." Nora, dearest, you should worry about the fact that you know nothing about Patch in general! Instead of wondering what kind of bedsheets he uses, perhaps you should wonder what he was doing stealing Jules's body for two weeks out of every year for a few centuries!

There's some boring banter, and Nora admits that she has a ten o'clock curfew set into place by her mother. And thus, we get yet another Twilight rip-off. Mrs. Grey is basically being turned into the Eclipse version of Charlie. Like Eclipse-Charlie, Mrs. Grey has every reason to disapprove of Nora's relationship with Patch, and like with Eclipse-Charlie, Nora resents this and the readers are supposed to agree that isn't she just so blind and meddlesome to not see how in luuuuurve they are? It doesn't help that Nora says things like "I couldn’t blame my mom for not trusting Patch—there was a point in my life when I’d felt similarly—but it would have been extremely convenient if every now and then she relaxed her vigilance".

Yes, there was a point in your life when you were sane, Nora! And how dare she be worried about you? You were only attacked in your own home and nearly killed! Christmas, did everyone forget about that???

Nora makes it clear that were it not for her mother's curfew, she would cheerfully go off alone with Patch, the guy who put her life in danger many times throughout the last book. But it's completely unreasonable for Nora's mother to worry, don't you guys know?

So Patch suddenly gets all paternal and tells her that it's time to go home then, young lady. When he pulls up in front of her house, he says that he knows something is wrong. We get a lot of bullshit from Nora about how she trusts Patch and they have such a deep and meaningfull relationship and "I felt connected to Patch emotionally. His friendship meant
more to me than a hundred casual acquaintances". Do I even need to point out how much fail is in that quote? Anyway, she spills that Marcy upset her about her dead father, and the first thing Patch suggests is going to confront Marcy about it. Yeeeessss, my vision of him beating up some helpless person for upsetting his chick seems rather accurate. Nora even compares his offer to like something out of The Godfather, although she's a moron and fails to grasp the implications of that.

Patch asks why Marcy hates Nora so much, and Nora admits that she has no idea. Marcy just stormed in one day, when they were in junior high, and spraypainted the word "whore" on Nora's locker. Nora still, of course, is confused as to why someone would randomly do that. She still takes the time to make sure that we know that she most certainly was an unsullied virgin who hadn't even kissed a man at the time, and "Marcie should have spray-painted her own locker".

YOU FUCKING WHORE: 5

ZeldaQueen: Thanks for that.

So Nora has made it clear that she is not a hussy like Marcy, so she's perfectly justified in getting one last heavy make-out session with her boyfriend, in the front of his Jeep, complete with her straddling him on his lap. She starts snaking her arms around him and tries to poke at the spot on his back where his wings are, because if you'll recall, that lets her see his memories. And this is on purpose. While he was distracted with making out with her, she just tried to break into his private memories, without his knowledge or consent.

...I think Patch is rubbing off onto Nora. Either that, or those two are a fine, ammoral pair.

And then - oh gag me with a spoon, are you serious? Yes, you are. Nora gives us this

"Even with considerable concentration, I could hardly remember what life had been like without Patch. At night, when I lay in bed, I could remember with perfect clarity the low timbre of his laugh, the way his smile curved slightly higher on the right, the touch of his hands—hot, smooth, and delicious on my skin. But it was only with serious effort that I could pick up memories from the previous sixteen years. Maybe because those memories paled in comparison to Patch. Or maybe because there was nothing good there at all"

ZeldaQueen: That just says it all, doesn't it? She's a co-dependent bint who has completely forgotten any part of her life that does not involve Patch. It took Bella four books to reach that point. Nora made it there in half the time. Congrats.

*sighs* Nora whines about Patch leaving her, Patch promises to never do so, gag, sappy stuff. Nora tells Patch to prove it to her, and he gives her a silver chain he apparently has always worn on his neck. Honestly, I can't remember ever hearing about it before now. Fitzpatrick. Stop doing that. Stop bringing things up and pretending we already know about them!

So apparently this chain is some ultra-special thing from the archangels, and I'm sure they'd be pleased to know that Patch has fallen to lust yet again and is given his angel gear to a human girl. We get some sappy lines about how the chain used to help him tell truth from lies, but it doesn't work for him anymore. I'm so bored, I honestly don't care. Patch tells Nora that it's her turn to give him something, so she gives him a copper ring which, yet again, she talks about like it's always on her finger. Apparently her father gave it to her a week before he died. She makes Patch accept it, and then starts begging him to promise to never leave her. Good lord, why is this considered a good trait for a heroine? Why are these girls all so ridiculously needy and clingy?

Nora literally grabs Patch by the collar and smashes her mouth to his, desperate to seal their promise or whatever. She tells Patch she loves him, only for him to break away and say that he heard something. Nora freaks out at this, until her mother comes on the porch and clearly is not happy. Nora goes inside, but only because Patch and her mother both tell her to.

Once inside, Mrs. Grey starts to chew into Nora for being late to curfew

"'When I give you a curfew, I expect you to keep it,' Mom said.

'Four minutes late,' I said, my tone suggesting she might be overreacting.

That earned me a stare that had disapproval stamped all over it. 'Last year your dad was killed. A couple months ago, you had your own brush with death. I think I’ve earned the right to be over-protective.' She walked stiffly back to the house, arms clamped over her chest.

Okay, I was an unfeeling, insensitive daughter. Point taken."

ZeldaQueen: *stoney stare* You know, I hate how Fitzpatrick wrote Nora's mother as being so utterly inattentive that she failed to notice the trouble her daughter was in. But she has a valid point right here. Nora's father just died. So far as Nora's mother knows, Nora herself nearly died from an insane teacher breaking into the house and burning part of it down. And as I said earlier, Mrs. Grey has every reason to be distrustful of Patch and not want Nora out late with him.

So Nora? Suck it.

And that's about it. The chapter ends with Nora whining, because she knows that Patch actually left because she told him that she loved him. I expect we're supposed to be shocked at this, but I'm just tired.

This is the FIRST CHAPTER. God help me...

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YOU FUCKING WHORE: 5

Onward to: Chapter 2 (Part 1)

Return to: Prologue

Back to: Table of Contents

Comments

[parrinoyed.livejournal.com]

Not even high school, junior high/middle school right? So even younger.

Also, the description of her skirt as being so-many inches too short. Too short for what? Nora? Since this is Nora's POV, Patch? I mean, given I don't know Marcie's body type or where the inches start counting, I don't know how risque or revealing it is. For all I know it's five inches above that freckle on her thigh. I mean, at least tell me you can see the bottom of her butt cheeks or something. You can even sound allured, which would make this book that much more interesting. Maybe Marcie is just disappointed that Nora feel for a creeper like Patch.

I like that book. I may imagine that in my head instead of what this is, much like I did with CoB.

It almost sounds like Nora has built a false history between them, given that Marcie on-screen is so reasonable. If it does coincide with some reality of acting out on Marcie's part, I still feel more sorry for her. Sounds like something traumatic is going on with her life and she's just trying to distract herself.

And "you were born" is the lamest, easiest, stupidest *and* most cliche line ever.

[steerpike13713.livejournal.com]

You can even sound allured, which would make this book that much more interesting. Maybe Marcie is just disappointed that Nora feel for a creeper like Patch.
Actually, that sounds like a pretty good spitefic idea - assume Marcie and Nora were friends/girlfriends before Patch turned up, set his eye on Nora, and decided that it would be easier to control/stalk/murder her if Marcie were not in the picture. He then mindrapes Nora into submission, making her forget their previous relationship. At some point, she gets her memory back, and the pair team up to take down Nora's rapist.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Ha, I am so using that as a personal backstory from here on out. It's far more interesting than what we find out *really* went on between those two. XD

[detritius.livejournal.com]

she had the shape of a Popsicle stick—turn her sideways and she practically disappeared.
Uh, I get what Fitzpatrick was going for, but that description doesn't say thin to me. It says flat. And while that's true of all the characters in these books, I really don't think I'm meant to picture the antagonist as having been cartoon steamrollered like Wile E. Coyote.

And Fitzpatrick really seems like she doesn't know how anything works, ever. I don't know how someone could manage to get so many basic, life-type things wrong unless they never left the house and got their entire understanding of reality from TV movies and porn.

And the slut shaming... >:[ I hate how prevalent that is in teen books. We can't possibly have a message about being informed and responsible with your sexuality, it has to be "If you dress a certain way, or wear makeup, or are blonde, you are a DIRTY HOR!!1" But the protagonist can make out with her sexually-aggressive boyfriend and want to go back to his place without judgement, because that's different, somehow. I can't wait to see if this reaches the level of hypocrisy of the House of Night series, where Zoey's calling other girls sluts while dating two guys at once.

[greenerygripes.livejournal.com]

Uh, I get what Fitzpatrick was going for, but that description doesn't say thin to me. It says flat.
In more ways than one. I read that someone has a "Popsicle stick" figure, I imagine they have no curves whatsoever--no breast definition, no hips, no waist...
I don't think that's what Fitzpatrick was aiming for here.

[aikaterini.livejournal.com]

/notice how Nora is describing her boyfriend before introducing herself at all./

This reminds me of the opening of “Silver Phoenix” by Cindy Pon. The main character of the book is supposedly Ai Ling, yet the book opens with the birth of her love interest.

/It's not like she'd want to spend time with her friends or mother or anyone! Nope, her asshole of a boyfriend is someone any girl would want to spend excessive amounts of time with!/

*sighs* Goodbye, Nora Grey; hello, Bella Swan 2.0.

/Where would she hang it in the cafeteria?/

And if Marcie is supposedly the Popular Mean Girl, don’t you think her friends or whoever she hangs out with would ask her why she was repeatedly stealing a girl’s underwear? Maybe I’ve just become too jaded by fanfiction and the Internet, but given all of the times that people say that a boy is only picking on a girl because he secretly likes her and how two guys who hate each other are secretly simmering with sexual tension…nobody ever pointed out to Marcie that maybe she was a little too obsessed with Nora? As in, she had a secret crush on Nora, but was still coming to terms with being bisexual/lesbian? Just saying.

/Marcie’s skirts were two sizes too small and five inches too short. Her hair was strawberry blond, and she had the shape of a Popsicle stick—turn her sideways and she practically disappeared./

*flatly* And yet MARCIE is supposed to be the judgmental Mean Girl.

/The club is a real one, located in South Freeport Maine, and, in their website's words, "Our primary purpose is to encourage and promote the sport of boating and the science of seamanship and navigation, particularly through programs of instruction for young people." Yes, that certainly sounds like a snobby upper-crust club to me./

Of course, sailing and rowing are for rich, preppy snobs! My brother’s taken rowing classes, so that means that my family is rolling in riches! Our favorite pastime is sipping martinis and looking down our noses at the plebeians! Ah, the mansions! The yachts! The luxury vacations in Monte Carlo! Lounging on the French Riviera while my parents count their investments! Oh, what a carefree life we lead! *sarcasm*

/would someone care to explain why every single place in Coldewater is rundown and filthy and seedy?/

Because the prince of Coldwater is rundown and filthy and seedy and the town is just matching itself to his needs. Oh, yeah, Ms. Fitzpatrick, I went there.

/What sort of company in their right mind would only have one person running the only hamburger stand up for an entire carnival!/

My church holds a festival fundraiser every year and for every stall, there are at least five people working shifts at the same time. So, yeah, this is incredibly dumb.

/And don't try to go the "pity those poor workers" route, not after spending all of Hush, Hush writing every one of those people as shallow and cruel to your poor Mary Sue of a protagonist./

Good catch. Maybe workers in the service industry heard of or read this book and wrote outraged letters to Fitzpatrick, so she decided to change her tune. Or she just loves contrivances. Take your pick.

/Patch chooses an ugly toy bear as a prize and gives it to Nora, telling her "You like the rejects./

*sweetly* Yes, which is why she’s dating you.

/Oh England, you're so cute when you're flustered!/

He really is. *snuggles him*

/would have been extremely convenient if every now and then she relaxed her vigilance/

Oh, you mean like she did in the last book, when all she did was leave you alone at home? Yeah, heaven forbid she actually start to act like a parent.

/I felt connected to Patch emotionally. His friendship meant more to me than a hundred casual acquaintances"./

WHAT friendship? Hate to break it to you, Nora/Ms. Fitzpatrick, but friends don’t abuse each other, stalk each other, or sexually harass each other.

/"Marcie should have spray-painted her own locker"./

Has Marcie ever actually slept with guys? Or is Nora just calling her a call girl because of her clothes?

/I could hardly remember what life had been like without Patch./

I remember – you were a normal girl with an obnoxious “friend” who didn’t live in fear of being attacked or killed.

/Okay, I was an unfeeling, insensitive daughter./

Yes. Yes, you are.

[often-partisan.livejournal.com]

"She goes on about how they're filthy rich and live in an upscale neighborhood and Mr. Miller owns the local Toyota dealership and aren't they horrible people for having money?"

Of course they are, this is a rip off of Twilight! so the rich snobs have got to be obnoxiously flaunting their wealth...just like the Cullens...

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

The only difference is that the Cullens are supposed to be thought well of for it. The Millers, on the other hand, are clearly people to be mocked for daring to have nice things.

[chibi-regalli.livejournal.com]

Silly Zelda Queen! Of course none of the teachers would think something's odd about a bra repeatedly being hung in the cafeteria or pinned to the bulletin board! This is Hush, Hush, and as we all know, in this universe women are puny, pathetic things with no rights whatsoever who exist only to be jeered at by men. Yeah, I want the head of that misogynistic jackass gym teacher from the first book mounted on a pike.

Maybe Nora's taking that chemistry class because a part of her brain remembers Patch is a psychopath and is trying to get away from the mind rape long enough to get help? I know, it's probably too much to hope for. Let me dream.

... What kind of BEDSHEETS he uses? Um, why? What does that have to do with anything? Why would that matter? I mean, is anyone else getting a big flashing "DANGER" sign at this? Because the only reason I can think of for wanting to know what kind of soap someone uses if you aren't buying it for them for some reason is to buy that brand and masturbate to the scent or something similarly insane and creepy. Just... seriously, what?

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I want the head of that misogynistic jackass gym teacher from the first book mounted on a pike."

You can pretend that happened. ^_^ I don't believe he shows up again, or if he does, I haven't learned of it yet.

I wish that were the case.

And...insane and creepy reasons pretty much are what Nora wants that information for, except we're not supposed to think of it that way. Yes, really. I won't spoil it though, you can see for yourself the shenanigans that occur.

0_o

[radiantstardust.livejournal.com]

/I knew nothing about the private, intimate details of Patch’s life, like the color of paint on his walls. If his can opener was electric or manual. The brand of soap he showered with. If his sheets were cotton or silk/

I never thought of paint color or can openers being private or intimate...but seriously? She wants to know what soap he uses and what his bedsheets are? What's she going to ask next? The brand of toilet paper he uses? This is stalker thinking...I mean, as obsessed as Bella Swann was, even she didn't go this crazy.

*sigh* And Nora had such potential at times...

Re: 0_o

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

Yes, and like I said, that pretty much is who Nora will be for this entire book. And we're not supposed to find it creepy.

I know, right? I think her lobotomy is over and done with...

[starsflyer.livejournal.com]

"Patch" is a really stupid name. Any other name in the world would have made me take him more seriously. Okay, maybe not *any* other name, but practically so.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

It really is, isn't it? Hilariously, Fitzpatrick still seems to be laboring under the impression that it's a "bad boy" name.

[angel-renoir.livejournal.com]

I knew nothing about the private, intimate details of Patch’s life, like the color of paint on his walls. If his can opener was electric or manual. The brand of soap he showered with. If his sheets were cotton or silk.

Great, she's already imagining sex with Patch. Hooray! ಠ_____ಠ

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

That's one of the main "conflicts" of this story. She wants to bang Patch, and he can't feel her if they did it. I'm serious. Aren't you thrilled to read about a girl pining for sex with the guy who threw her on a bed and pinned her in a motel?

[stormswift]

Is Fitzpatrick under the impression that teenage boys usually have silk sheets? That teenagers give a damn what kind of sheets they or anyone else sleep on? 'Cause I'm pretty sure I couldn't tell you off the top of my head what kind of sheets my friends/sister/parents use if you stopped me in the street and asked. Hell, do people in general have silk sheets outside of love shacks? Actually, that last question isn't quite as rhetorical, and I really would like to know if this is a Thing. I only ever shop for sheets at Bed Bath and Beyond, and I don't think they carry anything but cotton/flannel.

Ohhhh lord, slut shaming. Slut shaming is my huge Berserk Button, and I foresee much rage in my future. Seriously, it's bad enough that Nora somehow attends high school in a bad 90's sitcom; does she have to go the extra mile and get all holier than though on someone else's sexual activity? Really? And this was published in 2010 (2011?)? REALLY?

I guess it makes a weird amount of sense, given Nora's sudden creeper tendencies about everyone she's ever had passing contact with. And while my HULK SMASH lies dormant for now, waiting for a true emergency, rest assured that its justice will be swift and sure.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I have no idea about the sheets. Given how Fitzpatrick deals in cliches, she probably was thinking of love shacks when she brought up the silk sheets.

"Ohhhh lord, slut shaming. Slut shaming is my huge Berserk Button, and I foresee much rage in my future. Seriously, it's bad enough that Nora somehow attends high school in a bad 90's sitcom; does she have to go the extra mile and get all holier than though on someone else's sexual activity? Really? And this was published in 2010 (2011?)? REALLY?"

With a healthy dose of hypocrisy too, considering that Nora and Patch's relationship is purely limited to being physical. At least Marcie never sleeps with guys who try to kill her.

"And while my HULK SMASH lies dormant for now, waiting for a true emergency, rest assured that its justice will be swift and sure."

You'll have plenty of opportunities, believe me.

[turtlecrackers.livejournal.com]

Wow. Yeah, let's not keep the readers waiting. Bring on the creepy as soon as possible, Fitzpatrick. It's going to be really difficult to feel sympathy for Nora from now on, isn't it? It sure feels like it from just that brief interaction with first Marcie and then her mother.

I've got a character who is flat as a board, and if she were real, she would love to tell Nora that she can shove her slut shaming and useless comments about other people's body-shapes where the sun don't shine. It wouldn't matter if Marcie had curves in aaaall the right places, because Nora would just go "She thinks she's so perfect" and still bash her for no apparent reason.

And I bet I wasn't the only one who heard that "Okay, I was an unfeeling, insensitive daughter. Point taken." line said in the most snotty voice ever combined with the biggest, most exaggerated eye-roll in the world behind Nora's mother's back. Because that's the picture I got in my head. That was way out of line even for a teen-stereotype considering the situations Nora has got herself in that her mother doesn't know about.

Yeah, gawd, Mrs. Grey. How dare you be worried that something is going to happen to your daughter while she is down at a beach that Nora herself claims is a slum beach where drug dealers prowl after dark?!

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"It's going to be really difficult to feel sympathy for Nora from now on, isn't it?"

It is indeed. -_- I guess Fitzpatrick heard that Patch was being way too terrifying, so she cranked up the creepy for Nora, to balance things out.

"And I bet I wasn't the only one who heard that "Okay, I was an unfeeling, insensitive daughter. Point taken." line said in the most snotty voice ever combined with the biggest, most exaggerated eye-roll in the world behind Nora's mother's back."

No, I heard it like that as well.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"Contrived" sums it up nicely. I swear, half the time Nora has to actively provide a lead-up for Marcie to make fun of her. If Nora just *ignored* Marcie, half of their "rivalry" would vanish.

[winki-pop.livejournal.com]

God, the logic fail… it all burns so much! :O

Of course, as soon as a boy comes into your life nothing else matters anymore. Your friends, your family, any other memories, fuck that! You only become somebody when you finally hook up with someone and not languishing in horrid 'singledom' anymore. I mean, as soon as you get a boyfriend you're on a higher plane of being than anyone else, so you have the right to judge them. It's okay if you wanna have a heavy make-out session with your psycho boyfriend and go back to his place to avoid your mother because you're supposed to be home by curfew, but when it's one of those loose sluts going around town with some guy who isn't perfect and holy like your boyfriend, it's war! *rolls eyes*

The sad thing is I knew girls just like this in high school, throwing themselves at complete dickheads and suddenly thinking they were so much better than me because they had *gasp* boyfriends. And to think I knew one of their boyfriends first as a friend of mine, then he completely changed when he started dating another of my friends.

And just like Nora, they became judgemental bitches >.<

Oh hey, Patch, you're delightfully creepy and psycho as usual *gags*

And speaking of creepy, the way Nora lists all the things like wanting to see the colour of his walls to what sheets she uses… I think I need an adult :O Oh my God, I wouldn't be surprised if she started sniffing the seams of his clothes in his wardrobe and licked his floors! How did she become so creepy!?

What's so bad about Marcie's family being rich? Her father owns a business and works hard, that should be a good thing, right? Oh, but it would be perfectly alright if Patch earned money from unscrupulous means, since he's better than us mere mortals… *rolls eyes*

You know, as someone else commented earlier I think it'd make for a good storyline with Nora just making up bullshit about Marcie being a big ol' meanie to her as she goes along. It's make for a good unreliable narrator for the story and even expand on their characterisations a little. But who cares about that when we have Patch to ogle over? >.< Her grudge with Marcie really does come off as clichéd and tired.

And that whole 'slum' bullshit coming from Nora reminds me of my brother being 'gangster.' That’s' not a compliment, by the way :P

And I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but it just kid irritated me since I am planning to write a story of my own about a girl who goes to these countries in particular, but I think when Rixon said "Aye, now you’re in trouble, lass" it made it sound like he was being stereotypically Scottish or something. Isn't he meant to be Irish??? I mean, I'm not even Anglo and I picked up on this! :p Did Fitzpatrick happen to come across this article: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Scotireland

Oh, the irony with a name like hers… ;P

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

"What's so bad about Marcie's family being rich? Her father owns a business and works hard, that should be a good thing, right?"

I have no idea why we're supposed to hate Marcie and her family for being rich. I honestly don't recall any point where she acted like a snob. Her parents sent her to a public school (which, judging by the Biology curriculum alone, is hardly up to snuff). She likes to hang out at the beach and, we'll later see, bars. She throws a party later on, and she's fine with letting Vee and Nora attend. I really fail to see why her being rich is a flaw.

Rixon is just all sorts of fail in this novel. You'll see in the next chapter. -_-

[foxcake.livejournal.com]

You know, this book would be a whole lot better if the author handled Nora and Patch as the ultimate creepy stalker couple, with both parties harassing and terrorizing the other. It would make for a nice, sarcastic black romcom. Alas, Fitzpatrick has neither the creativity nor the humour necessary for this.

[mibamonster.livejournal.com]

'"Given her GPA, Marcie was the last person who should bespouting economics".'
Yes, well, darling, the story wanted us to believe your GPA was exceptionally high, yet you're stupider than a duck on speed. Please, Nora, stop being such a hypocrite.

GAH. The problem is, in all fairness I'm probably the kind of girl Fitzpatrick wanted Nora to be. High school? Check. (Although I finished this summer, but anyway). Sexually inexperienced? Check. Trying to get into the best colleges in the world? Check. (Although it's Oxford rather than Harvard.) Suddenly getting attention from the bad boy, knowing he is a jerk and still finding him attractive? Check.

Thing is, I knew he was trouble and his bad-boyness was limited to taking drugs and dropping out a lot. Not stalking, raping and murder. Because if he'd told me he was doing that? I don't even want to know how fast I'd call the police.

[propinquus.livejournal.com]

I work for a Toyota dealership. The owner is a very nice, generous, family-oriented man. So that just kind of makes me angry that because Marcie's dad owns a dealership they're automatically snobby as fuck. And what is with the slut-shaming these days? And more often than not, it's completely contradictory. Take Zoey- she bashes Aphrodite for trying to give Erik a blow job and yet she has sex with a fucking teacher in the renovation hall and juggles three guys at one point in the series. Nora barely knows Patch and their relationship seems to be more physical and sexually-based more than anything else, yet it's perfectly okay for her to constantly pick on Marcie? And Nora is a stupid clingy dumbass that gets jealous so easily, so I feel insults are not in order on her behalf. I hate self-entitlement.

[sotnosen93.livejournal.com]

Yes, all rich people are definitely evil snobs without a fun-loving or warm-hearted bone in their body! Isn't that right, America, China and Spain?!

If I had any inspiration for what would happen, I would write a spite fic (or something. Does it still count if nothing bad happens to any of the the canon characters?) with her meeting America...

[kestrad.livejournal.com]

Gods, I have never wanted spitefic so badly for any series. Not even Twilight, which I thought I hated more than I could hate any other books. But this series...I don't want to even touch the books with a ten-foot pole! Just reading your sporkings makes my insides crawl enough.

About the part with the bra, though--speaking as someone with A-cups, my chest was small enough for me to get away with not wearing a bra during gym class and have it not feel weird. I didn't have much time to change after class, so simply not wearing a bra was a lot easier than trying to peel a sports bra sticky with sweat off myself quickly, and I really hated having to wash my normal bras so I didn't exercise in them.

That said, school gyms generally have locks. And really, playing the same trick over and over on someone? That's so uncreative. And doesn't reflect well on Nora, either, as you pointed out.

Also, I love your comment about the cans. Too bad Nora's too much of a Mary Sue for us to get a non-conventional game over where she dies of botulism.

[thelovelymissa.livejournal.com]

Principle/Principal error. You use principle, which is a rule or doctrine. You mean to use principal, the leader of the school. (Incidentally, it can also refer to the non-intrest part of a loan or an important person in a business)

[(Anonymous)]

Am I the only one who was getting the implication that he was using his mind powers to get free food and then lying about it?

Just saying a lock won't necessarily work. When I was on middle school I had a lock on my locker yet people kept breaking into it and stealing my papers and textbooks, mainly they would look over my shoulder when I entered the combination, even though I kept changing it, and one time they even used bolt cutters to break the lock off. The school faculty didn't help since I couldn't give them any proof of who was doing it.

You know, I wonder if that yacht club would sue Fitzpatrick if they knew her book libeled them like that... maybe someone should write them an e-mail about it.

[zelda-queen.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't put it past him. He already uses his mind powers to keep Nora from escaping him.

Aw, that really sucks! I'm sorry they were such jerks.

I could buy if that were the issue, but Nora apparently couldn't even be arsed to try that. That's why it angers me so much. She cries over how much she's bullied, but she doesn't really DO anything about it. There are more obvious examples later, where Marcie is doing stuff to her and she could stop it if she put the slightest effort into it, but for no reason at all just sits there like a lump.

I doubt they'd consider it worth taking legal action over. Still, you're right. It really isn't a flattering image she painted of them.

[katistrophe.livejournal.com]

Also, would someone care to explain why every single place in Coldewater is rundown and filthy and seedy? Anyone?
Maybe it's actually a decent place, but as soon as Patch shows up the world shifts to a dark and seedy version?

She wants to go over to this guys place, where he lives all by himself, to be romantic. There's also no sign of her telling her mother about this either, so she'd be going out alone with Patch, to a remote location, with no one who knows where she's gone to to bail her out if things go badly, and her being dependent on Patch to get home, leaving him free to refuse and keep her there if he wishes.
Does she even have a single brain cell left? Or is Patch mindraping her constantly so she still thinks that's a good idea?

But it was only with serious effort that I could pick up memories from the previous sixteen years. Maybe because those memories paled in comparison to Patch. Or maybe because there was nothing good there at all"
Maybe because Patch keeps mindraping her and blocks out those memories.