Hush, Hush: Chapter 28
Nov. 6th, 2011 11:45 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: In which Nora demonstrates how she has no survival skills. Also, a belated happy birthday to ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
alexfuji_18 and lasalle28!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: We open with Nora whining about how ten minutes have passed and no one has come out of the school yet. You know, if Nora's character had been written better (with an actual damned backbone), this would not bother me. I could buy that she's scared that her best friend is being held captive and could be having who-knows-what done to her and that Elliot could very well decide to kill her before Patch rescues her. From what we've seen thus far though, all Nora does in the face of the slightest confrontations is wring her hands and whimper. So reading this, I don't feel tension or sympathy. I just want to grab Nora by the shoulders and shake her, whilst snarling "Grow a spine, you baby!"
Also, for some reason, she seems to think that there's the serious chance that Elliot - the kid who we are told has no particular powers and doesn't seem particularly powerful - could take down Patch - the ripped fallen angel with mindraping powers and fighting experience. Nora is very much an idiot.
This comes to an end when Fitzpatrick remembers that, oh yeah, plot needs to happen. Someone calls Nora's cell phone and what do you know, it's Elliot! What a shocker! Um, how did he get her number? This is that emergency cellphone of hers, which was confirmed to have a different number. Fitzpatrick, did you forget that she has a different cell phone?
Eh, whatever. It's not like continuity's important or anything. Elliot is on the line and is all smirky and evil. He taunts Nora about how he can see her from the second floor window he's looking out of, which begs the question of why Patch didn't park the car farther away. Of course, it also begs the question of why Nora isn't ducked down, and instead sitting in plain sight and informing Elliot that yes, she is still outside.
Anyway, Elliot implies that he wants her to come inside, and Fitzpatrick has got to have been looking to teen slasher movies for inspiration for this scene. I swear, this reads like it was copied from one! Nora says she won't play his games, and he hangs up. Nora takes a moment to reflect that Elliot does not seem to know that Patch is inside the school. That being the case, it only is logical that she...should...walk right into the school and into Elliot's trap.
What?
ZeldaQueen: I...oh jeez. I have nothing on this. This makes no sense to me. None. Fitzpatrick must have skipped a link in Nora's chain of reasoning or something. I mean seriously, it goes from the phone call, to her thinking that Patch has the element of surprise, to deciding it's best to go into the school. Here! See it for yourself!
"With my heart in my throat, I got out of the car. I looked up at the dark windows of the school. I didn't think Elliot knew Patch was inside. His voice came across impatient, not angry or irritated. My only hope was that Patch had a plan and would make sure nothing happened to me or Vee. The moon was clouded over, and under a shadow of fear I walked up to the east door"
ZeldaQueen: I honestly don't know why she does that. Elliot in no way implied that he'd hurt Vee if Nora didn't get in there on the double. For all she knows, Patch is saving Vee right then and there! And we get nothing on what she intends to do once she goes into the school! Does she mean to walk right into Elliot's clutches? Try to save Vee herself? WHAT? It's just...gah! Seriously, anyone who can give a reason why Nora should have so quickly and unhesitatingly run into the school like that, with no thoughts of escape afterwards or a plan, gets a cookie.
Also, my dear, sweet, idiotic Nora, you're assuming that Patch has a plan to rescue you? Might I remind you of one thing, darling?
CHANCES ARE HE DOES NOT HAVE A PLAN TO RESCUE YOU, BECAUSE HE TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR, AFTER YOU PROMISED TO FOLLOW HIS ORDERS! WHY WOULD HE HAVE A PLAN TO RESCUE SOMEONE WHO OUGHT TO NOT BE IN TROUBLE TO BEGIN WITH??? YOU DUMBASS! *SLAPS*
Apologize for stealing that, Mervin. Sometimes, the stupid must have sense knocked into it.
So...*sigh* for no reason at all, Nora goes trotting on into the school. Apparently it's one of those rare high schools that is unlocked even when it's completely empty, because Nora just heads right on in. Seriously Fitzpatrick, do you have any sense? Or do you expect us to buy that Elliot and Jules unlocked every door at the high school? If so, do you have any idea how many doors a high school has? Lord.
Nora tries to turn on the lights and finds that someone has tampered with them, the result being that she'll have to go groping around in the dark. I will admit, the atmosphere of the dark school is well-written. Anyway, Nora sets off down the hallway, going on a boring monologue about where everything is in the school. This is interrupted when she trips over Jules, who is on the floor like a discarded sweater. She puts her hand on his chest and realizes that ruh-oh, he's not breathing! He's totally dead!
Scraping together the last scraps of common sense she possesses, Nora holds back her screams so as not to alert Elliot to her location. She quietly freaks out and continues to run, heading for the library with the intention of searching for Vee in the study rooms beyond them. When she reaches the library, she hears another moan and sees Elliot on the floor. He is pale and clearly weak and gurgles a bit as he reaches for her. Nora finally does scream at this, and runs away.
Now, I'd like to point out that so far as Nora knows, there are five people in the building - herself, Vee, Patch, Jules, and Elliot. So far as she knows, Jules and Elliot are the only "bad guys", as in the only ones holding Vee hostage. She sees that Jules is dead and Elliot is dying. Common sense would dictate that either Patch or Vee did this, seeing as they're the only other people in the building. Common sense would also tell us that Patch is the more likely of the two, unless Vee transformed off-page into Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which would greatly improve the quality of this story, but I digress). Granted, we know that we're supposed to think Patch is the greatest guy ever and he's the designated hero, but from a logical standpoint, Nora ought to come to the conclusion that her boyfriend just took down two people in a serious way. So, what does she do? She screams her lungs out for Patch. Because she's a dumbass and thinks that there's a sixth party in the building that she was unaware of.
*rubs head* My God, the stupid is slowly killing me!
I'd like to remind the jury that even if it didn't look overwhelmingly apparent that Patch killed two people, he's supposed to be stealthily sneaking around to find and rescue Vee. Nora previously noted that she was the only one who knew he was in the building. She just screamed his name, telling any villainous persons on the premises that he's around. This means that Nora's Random Grand Plan to help out in the rescue has resulted in...her accomplishes nothing of value, ruining Patch's element of surprise, making the job even more difficult for Patch by having him rescue Vee and her, alerting the Bad Guy in the building of her location, and leaving herself open and vulnerable for kidnapping and torture.
Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen! What a fucking load!
Sure enough, just after she screams her head off, someone shows up and shoves her into a locker. This mysterious person is wearing the usual ski mask and a miner's helmet. I'm sorry, I find that hard to take seriously. Just...
ZeldaQueen: Mmm...yeah.
Anywho, Nora tries to run and Mr. Mask-And-Miner's-Helmet traps her against the lockers. He starts taunting her for thinking he was dead and for thinking Elliot was the mastermind for everything. He also implies that Nora suspected Vee of killing everyone which...what? That's got to be the most random thing in the world to think! Not only is Vee far too useless for that to be believable, Nora never did suspect her of that!
Gah. Nora gives a dramatic "It's you" and off comes the mask to reveal that the evil genius behind this all was...Jules!
Okay, give me a minute to laugh her. I'm sorry, I could not type that sentence up there and keep a straight face. This has got to have been the most random reveal I've ever seen. It reminds me of some Far Side where the detective cries out "I've solved the case! The murderer is Mr. Tibbles the cat!" I mean...really, Fitzpatrick? Jules has hardly been in this story at all! It's one thing to make the culprit unexpected! It's another thing entirely to make him almost completely absent from the plot centered around the crimes he's been committing!
So yeah, Jules (and I still can't take this seriously, I'm sorry) starts gloating, saying that it's Nora's own fault she got mindraped into thinking he was dead, because "If your mind wasn't so weak, I couldn't have done a thing".
Two things. First of all, that quote - which is pretty much a variant of "your skirt was too short" - sounds almost exactly like how Patch describes his mindraping of Nora when they're in the motel. The quote delivered by the gloating villain. Fitzpatrick? Care to comment?
Second of all, I have to wonder how Nora did fall for that one. Back in the movie theater restroom, she was able to feel Patch rooting around in her head when he stuck in that fire alarm illusion. If she knows what it feels like to have someone rummaging around in her noggin, how does it still trick her?
Well, regardless, Nora takes the opportunity to ask where he hid Vee. He slaps her and tells her that "You really should
learn to control your fear. Fear undermines logic and opens up all sorts of opportunities for people like me". I wonder, does "people like me" include Patch? Because like I said, he and Jules here have used very similar techniques on Nora. And I notice that Patch's actions constantly scare her, which lead to her doing very stupid, illogical things.
I wonder, does Fitzpatrick also not think about what she's writing?
Nora takes a moment to go on about how clever Jules was to be quiet and unnoticable and in the background for the entirety of this book. Don't try to pass off your bad writing as good villainy, Fitzpatrick. Jules interrupts this by grabbing Nora by the arm and dragging her off. You know, like how Patch did in the motel. This time though, Nora struggles and claws at him, because I guess it's alright for a guy to drag a girl off if she thinks he's hot but incredibly creepy if she doesn't think so. Jules responds by punching her in the stomach. Nora sort of collapses on the floor and starts crying and asking why he wants her. Jesus Christ, does Fitzpatrick have some subjegation fetish or something? What is up with this book? This is just one endless stream of Nora being knocked around and abused and scared to tears! What the heck? Why do so many people like a book where the protagonist is so blatantly victimized and abused? AUGH!
*tears at hair* Jules keeps dragging Nora along, until he yoinks her into the biology room. Oh boy, this room just has all sorts of pleasant memories associated, doesn't it? Apparently the room is also used for labs that involve serious equipment, because Nora notices a scalpel lying behind the wastebasket. I never got the impression that the room was anything but an ordinary classroom, but whatever. Somehow Nora is able to grab the scalpel and hide it in the waistband of her jeans (...what?) without Jules noticing, even though I'm sure blind people could tell if someone did such an incredibly obvious maneuver.
Well, I suppose Jules doesn't notice her doing this because he's too busy being EVIL. Nora, meanwhile, tries to figure out if she can escape through a window while he's busy being EVIL. She tries to come up with a plan to save her bacon and...OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.
"Amid a thousand other self-preserving thoughts, I told myself not to appear frightened. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that advice from a self-defense class I'd taken with Mom after my dad died. Make eye contact ... look confident ... use common sense ... all easier said than done"
ZeldaQueen: SELF-DEFENSE CLASS. WE'RE EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THAT NORA TOOK A SELF-DEFENSE CLASS. AFTER SHE DECIDED TO CONFRONT A GUY THAT SHE BELIEVED MEANT HER HARM ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS IN COMPLETELY ISOLATED PLACES. AFTER SHE ALLOWED THE SAME GUY TO DRAG HER INTO A MOTEL ROOM, JUST PASSIVELY STANDING THERE WHILE HE MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS, AND NOT OPENLY PROTESTING UNTIL HE HAD HER LOCKED IN THE ROOM. AFTER SHE OBEDIENTLY FOLLOWED THAT SAME GUY INTO THE BATHROOM OF THE MOVIE THEATER AND STOOD THERE AND MADE OUT WITH HIM, AFTER SHE KNEW HE MINDRAPED HER AND STALKED HER AND MADE HER FEEL FRIGHTENED AND VIOLATED HER PERSONAL SPACE. AFTER SHE WAS A COMPLETE DUMBASS AND AGREED TO VEE'S MANY IDIOTIC SCHEMES, INCLUDING TRYING TO STALK HER STALKER INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE POLICE.
AND ONE OF THOSE LESSONS SHE SUPPOSEDLY LEARNED AND KEPT IN MIND WAS TO USE COMMON SENSE!!!
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* All I can say is that Fitzpatrick hit the nail on the head when she had Nora admit that using common sense was easier said than done.
Jules shoves Nora into a chair, an act which somehow manages to not get her cut on the scalpel hidden in her waistband. No, I'm not sure how she stashed it so carefully while being dragged along the ground, without Jules noticing. Jules twirls his mustache and "breathed a laugh", whatever that means, telling her to fork over her cell phone. Nora, still scraping together her brain cells, lies that she left it in the car. Jules is all malicious and gleeful and implies that if Nora doesn't cooperate, he'll do something nasty to Vee. This gets Nora to hand over her cell phone, even though (A) Jules is the only Bad Guy still standing, which means that Vee couldn't be hurt unless he left Nora alone, giving her time to retaliate and (B) Patch is still wandering around in the building, and for all she knows has rescued Vee by now.
Jules sits down in a chair as well, kicking back and stretching out his legs. Nora jumps up and makes a run for it, and he throws her back into the chair. He tells her about how he used to own horses and the Spanish ones were his favorite, especially with how he got to break them in. He then brings up how there always was that one horse that refused to be broken, and strongly implies that he'll do to Nora what he did to that sort of horse if she doesn't sit down and stop trying to run away. He promises not to hurt Nora if she cooperates, but she notices the gleam in his eye and does not believe him. Somehow, this is different from the times Patch told Nora he'd never hurt her with a gleam in his eye, despite evidence to the contrary.
Nora asks about Elliot, particularly the murder of his girlfriend. Apparently that was all a test that Jules set up to see how loyal Elliot was. It seems...lord, this is stupid. It seems that Elliot was at that hoity-toity school on a scholarship, and thus was picked on for being "a pauper among princes". Jules steps in and more or less acts as Elliot's sugar daddy, paying for everything for him, only to threaten to take it all away if Elliot didn't kill Kjirsten. Elliot choosing money over love somehow proved that "[Jules] could rely on him when it came time to dealing with [Nora]".
Um, a few questions.
First of all, how does Jules have so much money? I know he was a nobleman at one point, but that was a couple of centuries ago, in France. Presumably he had to abandon his identity when it became apparent that he was, you know, not aging! Did he somehow carry around a huge stash of money? If so, how did he convert a bundle of French money from the 1800s into a form of currency that would not attract suspicion in present-day America?
Second of all, how did he manage this all? Again, he's operating under a new identity. Presumably he's now an unperson. How the heck does someone who I can only assume has no ID, birth certificate, or other such documents convert said fortune into said American currency?
Third of all, how come none of this caused suspicion around Elliot? From the way Jules describes it, Elliot was very well known as the scholarship kid who had no actual money of his own. And he suddenly shows up one day with gobs of money, enough to buy his girlfriend an apartment for them to stay in? Did no one get suspicious of that, especially with the murder charge later? Didn't Elliot's parents get suspicious that their son suddenly was able to afford all of this stuff? Actually, what about Elliot's parents in general? Is he an orphan? Did they not notice or care that their son randomly transferred to another school after a murder charge? Do they even exist? Hello?
Fourth of all, erm...yes Jules, that was a fine plan. Force Elliot to kill his girlfriend, great idea. That only caused him to become a prime suspect for murder, thus giving your target a very good reason to be suspicious and avoid him. Wasn't the reason you chose Elliot to act on your behalf so that you wouldn't be suspected? You idiot!
Which leads to the fifth point, what was that bit about Jules relying on Elliot in regards to Nora about? Did Jules really think that such was the Mary Sue of Nora that Elliot would be unable to bring himself to kill her, like the Huntsman towards Snow White? Considering that that's pretty much how Patch was towards Nora, I guess so.
Nora asks why Jules is doing all of this to her, and he says that he's using her as a proxy, because the person he wants to hurt can't be hurt. Nora tries to figure this out, but starts having an...iron deficiency attack again. At least, that's how it's described, with "My eyes moved outof focus. Jules's face was like an Impressionist painting-blurred around the edges, lacking detail. Blood drained from my head, and I felt myselfstart to slip off the chair. I'd felt this way enough times before to know I needed iron. Soon".
Um...is that an effect of anemia?
Well anyway, Jules slaps Nora again (erm, is Fitzpatrick trying to emulate Jack Bauher now?) and continues to try to prod her into realizing who this mysterious person he wants revenge against is. Seeing as how we've had exactly one person in this novel stress how he can't be hurt and has no physical sensations, there really is no drama here.
And then, Jules proceeds to deliver a motive rant that is far more deserving of sympathy than Patch's wangst
"Every year at the start of the Hebrew month of Cheshvan, he takes control of my body. Two whole weeks. That's how long I forfeit control. No freedom, no choice. I don't get the luxury of escaping during those two weeks, loaning my body out, then coming back when it's all over. Then I might be able to convince myself it wasn't really happening. No. I'm still in there, a prisoner inside my own body, living every moment of it...Do you know what that feels like? Do you?"
[...]
"I swore an oath allowing him to take possession of my body during Cheshvan. I was sixteen years old...He tricked me into the oath by torturing me. After, he told me I wasn't human. Can you believe it? Not human. He told me my mother, a human, slept with a fallen angel"
ZeldaQueen: There you have it. I honestly feel sorrier for Jules than I do for Patch. We saw absolutely no evidence that he was a person deserving of any misfortune, and Patch sweeps on in, mindrapes him into submission, and forces him to sign on over his body. And even better? On her FAQ, Fitzpatrick says that Nephilm only turn immortal when they swear an oath of fealty. In other words, not only did Patch torture an innocent guy into promising to forfeit control of his body for two weeks out of every year, he also turned the guy immortal, essentially condemning him to an eternity of having his body stolen, without even the hope of escape through death. And we see that Patch clearly considers him like dirt, since he has shown absolutely no qualms about killing him like a chicken to get a human body. After doing all of that to this guy, after turning him into a slave for eternity, after dragging him around for centuries, Patch was just going to casually kill him.
Of course, that also makes the plot of this story extremely contrived and stupid. What, Patch just lets his extremely valuable and important vassal wander around wherever for the time of year besides those two weeks? Even if we're to assume that the magic oath thing forces Jules to return to him for Cheshvan, isn't it rather arrogant and dumb of Patch to not catch on that Jules would try to pull something on him? The Nephilim are, for all intents and purposes, humans. They think like humans and they act like humans! Patch is supposed to be an expert on human behavior! Did he seriously think he could ruin a person's life so much and violate their bodies and minds so completely and that person wouldn't try to retaliate? Really?
And the rotten cherry on all this? Nora never catches on to the implications of any of this. She never stops and wonders about the fact that her boyfriend had tortured an innocent person into servitude and kept this person in mental chains for several centuries. She never considers just what sort of a depraved, horrible person would do something like that. And really, that sums up the attitude everyone in this series has towards the Nephilim. We'll see later that the Nephilim are abused, enslaved, mindraped, and have their bodies stolen and their lives pervaded. No one feels pity for them, not Nora, not the angels, and certainly not the fallen angels. No one considers that the Nephilim live out most of their lives as people with spouses and parents and children and friends, just going along, not harming anyone.
That is completely and utterly sick.
It's more than clear that Jules/Chauncy has lost his marbles, and we also find out that he inherited the ability to mindrape from his fallen angel father. Nora finally connects the dots and realizes that this is her Nephilim ancestor, and promptly starts wangsting about how she has the blood of a monster in her. Oh for the love of - TIME AND PLACE, YOU MORON!
Jules/Chauncey punches his Villain Speech card and starts explaining everything he did in the book. He was the masked figure who smashed into her car earlier, mindraping her into seeing him as a nondescript figure. Nora figures out by herself that no one trashed her room, it was just Jules mindraping her into thinking he had. He gloats again about how weak her mind is, and how he could have done nothing to her, if only she had been able to block him out.
And then, Fitzpatrick decides to unload upon us one of the stupid and most overused villain cliche motives to grace the world of literature.
"'Imagine yourself in my place,' said Jules. 'Your body violated year after year. Imagine a hatred so hard, nothing but revenge will cure it. Imagine expending large sums of energy and resources to keep a close eye on the object of your revenge, waiting patiently for the moment when fate presented you an opportunity not just to get even, but to tip the scales in your favor.' His eyes locked on mine. 'You're that opportunity. If I hurt you, I hurt Patch.'"
ZeldaQueen: That's right, that's the only reason Nora was involved at all in any of these conflicts - Patch. That's the only reason Dabria wanted to kill her, and that's the only reason this guy wants to get her.
You know, it's dreadfully infuriating when the protagonist of the story is reduced to nothing more than being solely defined by the love interest. Nora has no part at all in her own tale, were it not for her connection to Patch. What the fuck, Fitzpatrick? What the fuck?
Although if Nora had brains enough to call Patch out on the fact that it's essentially his fault her life was in danger for all of this time, I'd be the happiest girl around.
Nora insists that she's not nearly so valuable to Patch as Jules thinks she is, and alright, I can buy her trying to downplay that so he own't torture her. Jules then delivers even more creepy for Patch
"I've been keeping a close eye on Patch for centuries. Last summer he made his first trip to your house, though you didn't notice. He followed you shopping a few times. Every now and then, he made a special trip out of his way to find you. Then he enrolled at your school. I couldn't help but ask myself, what was so special about you? I made an effort to find out. I've been watching you for a while now"
ZeldaQueen: Amazing how Patch continues to ramp up the creepy even when he isn't around. I mean what...is that supposed to be endearing? Because it's not. It's fucking creepy. HE'S FUCKING STALKING HER!!! BEFORE THEY EVEN MET! GOD DAMN!!!!
Nora gets very creeped out, because, as she reminds us, she has felt the occasional Mysterious Presence and assumed it was some sort of phantom guardian, and here she finds out that it's because a creepy stalkingbesides Patch was following her. You know, if this guardian spirit thing had been drawn on a bit more, this could have been a very scary bit where we felt sorry for Nora, as she realized that what she assumed was the protective ghost of her father was really a malevolent being. Instead, it means nothing. We heard about this guardian thing once, at the beginning of the book. I had almost forgotten it by now. So it just fails.
Um... Jules kind of loses me here, because he says that he backs off from stalking her for fear of Patch finding out (I guess Patch would be jealous that someone is doing his job of stalking and scaring Nora) and that not long after, Elliot stepped up and informed Jules that Patch was in love with Nora. Erm... when was this? Elliot had only just transferred to their school earlier in this book, and Jules recruited him some time ago. What, did Jules decide to hire someone to act as his eyes and ears even though he hadn't yet had to back down from the stalking? How long had this plan been in motion? I...I don't understand!
ZeldaQueen: We get a visit from Captain Obvious, as Nora spells out Jules's plan, particularly how he OH SO CONVENIENTLY disappeared whenever Patch was around. You...just noticed that now, have you? We also find out that yes, the camping trip Elliot suggested had been a planned attempt to murder Nora, as had the drive-by shooting in Portland. Presumably Jules needs glasses, seeing as he mistook an old bag lady in Nora's coat as Nora herself. Also, why go to so much trouble? Clearly Jules doesn't care how she dies, so long as she does. Why not slip powdered glass into her lunch? Stab her in her sleep? Send her poisoned cookies via Vee? Why such elaborate plans, instead of something quick and immediate? Why do these villains never have any sense? Bah.
Jules starts to taunt Nora, guessing that she wishes she'd never met Patch and is cursing the position he has put her in as well as having fallen in love with him. No Jules, a sensible person would think those things. Nora clearly is not in any way, shape, or form sensible, because all she can think is "Hearing Jules talk about Patch's love filled me with irrational hope". Why? Can you explain that, please? What, does it remind you that he might come charging to the rescue? That you *gag* have something to live for? Why? Go on, explain yourself!
No, Nora doesn't explain. Instead, she whips the scalpel out of her pants (that's what she said) and threatens to stab Jules with it. Yes, I'm sure that will go over well with the unbalanced, immortal guy. He flips his shit over this, and knocks a bunch of beakers and papers off of the desk next to him. Nora stabs him a few times which seems to put him in a great deal of pain. I...strongly suspect that Fitzpatrick is overestimating how much damage a scalpel can do, especially given that Jules needs to use both hands to yank it out of his leg. Regardless, this does nothing but piss him off, so when Nora tries to run, he just knocks her over. He "flipped [her] on my stomach and straddled [her] from behind" and, besides sounding almost exactly like what Patch did to her in the motel (and no, I'm not letting that go), I swear it sounds like he's doing some anal penetration thing on her.
Nora screams and flails and tries to get the scalpel, but of course it's just out of reach and Jules drags her away from it. She kicks him in the balls and makes another break for the door, only for him to block him. He wishes her luck on escaping, and adds "You'll see what I mean" before passing out.
Um...two chapters left. Woot? God, I feel icky...
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Return to: Table of Contents
alexfuji_18 and lasalle28!Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: We open with Nora whining about how ten minutes have passed and no one has come out of the school yet. You know, if Nora's character had been written better (with an actual damned backbone), this would not bother me. I could buy that she's scared that her best friend is being held captive and could be having who-knows-what done to her and that Elliot could very well decide to kill her before Patch rescues her. From what we've seen thus far though, all Nora does in the face of the slightest confrontations is wring her hands and whimper. So reading this, I don't feel tension or sympathy. I just want to grab Nora by the shoulders and shake her, whilst snarling "Grow a spine, you baby!"
Also, for some reason, she seems to think that there's the serious chance that Elliot - the kid who we are told has no particular powers and doesn't seem particularly powerful - could take down Patch - the ripped fallen angel with mindraping powers and fighting experience. Nora is very much an idiot.
This comes to an end when Fitzpatrick remembers that, oh yeah, plot needs to happen. Someone calls Nora's cell phone and what do you know, it's Elliot! What a shocker! Um, how did he get her number? This is that emergency cellphone of hers, which was confirmed to have a different number. Fitzpatrick, did you forget that she has a different cell phone?
Eh, whatever. It's not like continuity's important or anything. Elliot is on the line and is all smirky and evil. He taunts Nora about how he can see her from the second floor window he's looking out of, which begs the question of why Patch didn't park the car farther away. Of course, it also begs the question of why Nora isn't ducked down, and instead sitting in plain sight and informing Elliot that yes, she is still outside.
Anyway, Elliot implies that he wants her to come inside, and Fitzpatrick has got to have been looking to teen slasher movies for inspiration for this scene. I swear, this reads like it was copied from one! Nora says she won't play his games, and he hangs up. Nora takes a moment to reflect that Elliot does not seem to know that Patch is inside the school. That being the case, it only is logical that she...should...walk right into the school and into Elliot's trap.
What?
ZeldaQueen: I...oh jeez. I have nothing on this. This makes no sense to me. None. Fitzpatrick must have skipped a link in Nora's chain of reasoning or something. I mean seriously, it goes from the phone call, to her thinking that Patch has the element of surprise, to deciding it's best to go into the school. Here! See it for yourself!
"With my heart in my throat, I got out of the car. I looked up at the dark windows of the school. I didn't think Elliot knew Patch was inside. His voice came across impatient, not angry or irritated. My only hope was that Patch had a plan and would make sure nothing happened to me or Vee. The moon was clouded over, and under a shadow of fear I walked up to the east door"
ZeldaQueen: I honestly don't know why she does that. Elliot in no way implied that he'd hurt Vee if Nora didn't get in there on the double. For all she knows, Patch is saving Vee right then and there! And we get nothing on what she intends to do once she goes into the school! Does she mean to walk right into Elliot's clutches? Try to save Vee herself? WHAT? It's just...gah! Seriously, anyone who can give a reason why Nora should have so quickly and unhesitatingly run into the school like that, with no thoughts of escape afterwards or a plan, gets a cookie.
Also, my dear, sweet, idiotic Nora, you're assuming that Patch has a plan to rescue you? Might I remind you of one thing, darling?
CHANCES ARE HE DOES NOT HAVE A PLAN TO RESCUE YOU, BECAUSE HE TOLD YOU TO WAIT IN THE CAR, AFTER YOU PROMISED TO FOLLOW HIS ORDERS! WHY WOULD HE HAVE A PLAN TO RESCUE SOMEONE WHO OUGHT TO NOT BE IN TROUBLE TO BEGIN WITH??? YOU DUMBASS! *SLAPS*
Apologize for stealing that, Mervin. Sometimes, the stupid must have sense knocked into it.
So...*sigh* for no reason at all, Nora goes trotting on into the school. Apparently it's one of those rare high schools that is unlocked even when it's completely empty, because Nora just heads right on in. Seriously Fitzpatrick, do you have any sense? Or do you expect us to buy that Elliot and Jules unlocked every door at the high school? If so, do you have any idea how many doors a high school has? Lord.
Nora tries to turn on the lights and finds that someone has tampered with them, the result being that she'll have to go groping around in the dark. I will admit, the atmosphere of the dark school is well-written. Anyway, Nora sets off down the hallway, going on a boring monologue about where everything is in the school. This is interrupted when she trips over Jules, who is on the floor like a discarded sweater. She puts her hand on his chest and realizes that ruh-oh, he's not breathing! He's totally dead!
Scraping together the last scraps of common sense she possesses, Nora holds back her screams so as not to alert Elliot to her location. She quietly freaks out and continues to run, heading for the library with the intention of searching for Vee in the study rooms beyond them. When she reaches the library, she hears another moan and sees Elliot on the floor. He is pale and clearly weak and gurgles a bit as he reaches for her. Nora finally does scream at this, and runs away.
Now, I'd like to point out that so far as Nora knows, there are five people in the building - herself, Vee, Patch, Jules, and Elliot. So far as she knows, Jules and Elliot are the only "bad guys", as in the only ones holding Vee hostage. She sees that Jules is dead and Elliot is dying. Common sense would dictate that either Patch or Vee did this, seeing as they're the only other people in the building. Common sense would also tell us that Patch is the more likely of the two, unless Vee transformed off-page into Buffy the Vampire Slayer (which would greatly improve the quality of this story, but I digress). Granted, we know that we're supposed to think Patch is the greatest guy ever and he's the designated hero, but from a logical standpoint, Nora ought to come to the conclusion that her boyfriend just took down two people in a serious way. So, what does she do? She screams her lungs out for Patch. Because she's a dumbass and thinks that there's a sixth party in the building that she was unaware of.
*rubs head* My God, the stupid is slowly killing me!
I'd like to remind the jury that even if it didn't look overwhelmingly apparent that Patch killed two people, he's supposed to be stealthily sneaking around to find and rescue Vee. Nora previously noted that she was the only one who knew he was in the building. She just screamed his name, telling any villainous persons on the premises that he's around. This means that Nora's Random Grand Plan to help out in the rescue has resulted in...her accomplishes nothing of value, ruining Patch's element of surprise, making the job even more difficult for Patch by having him rescue Vee and her, alerting the Bad Guy in the building of her location, and leaving herself open and vulnerable for kidnapping and torture.
Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen! What a fucking load!
Sure enough, just after she screams her head off, someone shows up and shoves her into a locker. This mysterious person is wearing the usual ski mask and a miner's helmet. I'm sorry, I find that hard to take seriously. Just...
ZeldaQueen: Mmm...yeah.
Anywho, Nora tries to run and Mr. Mask-And-Miner's-Helmet traps her against the lockers. He starts taunting her for thinking he was dead and for thinking Elliot was the mastermind for everything. He also implies that Nora suspected Vee of killing everyone which...what? That's got to be the most random thing in the world to think! Not only is Vee far too useless for that to be believable, Nora never did suspect her of that!
Gah. Nora gives a dramatic "It's you" and off comes the mask to reveal that the evil genius behind this all was...Jules!
Okay, give me a minute to laugh her. I'm sorry, I could not type that sentence up there and keep a straight face. This has got to have been the most random reveal I've ever seen. It reminds me of some Far Side where the detective cries out "I've solved the case! The murderer is Mr. Tibbles the cat!" I mean...really, Fitzpatrick? Jules has hardly been in this story at all! It's one thing to make the culprit unexpected! It's another thing entirely to make him almost completely absent from the plot centered around the crimes he's been committing!
So yeah, Jules (and I still can't take this seriously, I'm sorry) starts gloating, saying that it's Nora's own fault she got mindraped into thinking he was dead, because "If your mind wasn't so weak, I couldn't have done a thing".
Two things. First of all, that quote - which is pretty much a variant of "your skirt was too short" - sounds almost exactly like how Patch describes his mindraping of Nora when they're in the motel. The quote delivered by the gloating villain. Fitzpatrick? Care to comment?
Second of all, I have to wonder how Nora did fall for that one. Back in the movie theater restroom, she was able to feel Patch rooting around in her head when he stuck in that fire alarm illusion. If she knows what it feels like to have someone rummaging around in her noggin, how does it still trick her?
Well, regardless, Nora takes the opportunity to ask where he hid Vee. He slaps her and tells her that "You really should
learn to control your fear. Fear undermines logic and opens up all sorts of opportunities for people like me". I wonder, does "people like me" include Patch? Because like I said, he and Jules here have used very similar techniques on Nora. And I notice that Patch's actions constantly scare her, which lead to her doing very stupid, illogical things.
I wonder, does Fitzpatrick also not think about what she's writing?
Nora takes a moment to go on about how clever Jules was to be quiet and unnoticable and in the background for the entirety of this book. Don't try to pass off your bad writing as good villainy, Fitzpatrick. Jules interrupts this by grabbing Nora by the arm and dragging her off. You know, like how Patch did in the motel. This time though, Nora struggles and claws at him, because I guess it's alright for a guy to drag a girl off if she thinks he's hot but incredibly creepy if she doesn't think so. Jules responds by punching her in the stomach. Nora sort of collapses on the floor and starts crying and asking why he wants her. Jesus Christ, does Fitzpatrick have some subjegation fetish or something? What is up with this book? This is just one endless stream of Nora being knocked around and abused and scared to tears! What the heck? Why do so many people like a book where the protagonist is so blatantly victimized and abused? AUGH!
*tears at hair* Jules keeps dragging Nora along, until he yoinks her into the biology room. Oh boy, this room just has all sorts of pleasant memories associated, doesn't it? Apparently the room is also used for labs that involve serious equipment, because Nora notices a scalpel lying behind the wastebasket. I never got the impression that the room was anything but an ordinary classroom, but whatever. Somehow Nora is able to grab the scalpel and hide it in the waistband of her jeans (...what?) without Jules noticing, even though I'm sure blind people could tell if someone did such an incredibly obvious maneuver.
Well, I suppose Jules doesn't notice her doing this because he's too busy being EVIL. Nora, meanwhile, tries to figure out if she can escape through a window while he's busy being EVIL. She tries to come up with a plan to save her bacon and...OH MY GOD. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME.
"Amid a thousand other self-preserving thoughts, I told myself not to appear frightened. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that advice from a self-defense class I'd taken with Mom after my dad died. Make eye contact ... look confident ... use common sense ... all easier said than done"
ZeldaQueen: SELF-DEFENSE CLASS. WE'RE EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THAT NORA TOOK A SELF-DEFENSE CLASS. AFTER SHE DECIDED TO CONFRONT A GUY THAT SHE BELIEVED MEANT HER HARM ON TWO SEPARATE OCCASIONS IN COMPLETELY ISOLATED PLACES. AFTER SHE ALLOWED THE SAME GUY TO DRAG HER INTO A MOTEL ROOM, JUST PASSIVELY STANDING THERE WHILE HE MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS, AND NOT OPENLY PROTESTING UNTIL HE HAD HER LOCKED IN THE ROOM. AFTER SHE OBEDIENTLY FOLLOWED THAT SAME GUY INTO THE BATHROOM OF THE MOVIE THEATER AND STOOD THERE AND MADE OUT WITH HIM, AFTER SHE KNEW HE MINDRAPED HER AND STALKED HER AND MADE HER FEEL FRIGHTENED AND VIOLATED HER PERSONAL SPACE. AFTER SHE WAS A COMPLETE DUMBASS AND AGREED TO VEE'S MANY IDIOTIC SCHEMES, INCLUDING TRYING TO STALK HER STALKER INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE POLICE.
AND ONE OF THOSE LESSONS SHE SUPPOSEDLY LEARNED AND KEPT IN MIND WAS TO USE COMMON SENSE!!!
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* All I can say is that Fitzpatrick hit the nail on the head when she had Nora admit that using common sense was easier said than done.
Jules shoves Nora into a chair, an act which somehow manages to not get her cut on the scalpel hidden in her waistband. No, I'm not sure how she stashed it so carefully while being dragged along the ground, without Jules noticing. Jules twirls his mustache and "breathed a laugh", whatever that means, telling her to fork over her cell phone. Nora, still scraping together her brain cells, lies that she left it in the car. Jules is all malicious and gleeful and implies that if Nora doesn't cooperate, he'll do something nasty to Vee. This gets Nora to hand over her cell phone, even though (A) Jules is the only Bad Guy still standing, which means that Vee couldn't be hurt unless he left Nora alone, giving her time to retaliate and (B) Patch is still wandering around in the building, and for all she knows has rescued Vee by now.
Jules sits down in a chair as well, kicking back and stretching out his legs. Nora jumps up and makes a run for it, and he throws her back into the chair. He tells her about how he used to own horses and the Spanish ones were his favorite, especially with how he got to break them in. He then brings up how there always was that one horse that refused to be broken, and strongly implies that he'll do to Nora what he did to that sort of horse if she doesn't sit down and stop trying to run away. He promises not to hurt Nora if she cooperates, but she notices the gleam in his eye and does not believe him. Somehow, this is different from the times Patch told Nora he'd never hurt her with a gleam in his eye, despite evidence to the contrary.
Nora asks about Elliot, particularly the murder of his girlfriend. Apparently that was all a test that Jules set up to see how loyal Elliot was. It seems...lord, this is stupid. It seems that Elliot was at that hoity-toity school on a scholarship, and thus was picked on for being "a pauper among princes". Jules steps in and more or less acts as Elliot's sugar daddy, paying for everything for him, only to threaten to take it all away if Elliot didn't kill Kjirsten. Elliot choosing money over love somehow proved that "[Jules] could rely on him when it came time to dealing with [Nora]".
Um, a few questions.
First of all, how does Jules have so much money? I know he was a nobleman at one point, but that was a couple of centuries ago, in France. Presumably he had to abandon his identity when it became apparent that he was, you know, not aging! Did he somehow carry around a huge stash of money? If so, how did he convert a bundle of French money from the 1800s into a form of currency that would not attract suspicion in present-day America?
Second of all, how did he manage this all? Again, he's operating under a new identity. Presumably he's now an unperson. How the heck does someone who I can only assume has no ID, birth certificate, or other such documents convert said fortune into said American currency?
Third of all, how come none of this caused suspicion around Elliot? From the way Jules describes it, Elliot was very well known as the scholarship kid who had no actual money of his own. And he suddenly shows up one day with gobs of money, enough to buy his girlfriend an apartment for them to stay in? Did no one get suspicious of that, especially with the murder charge later? Didn't Elliot's parents get suspicious that their son suddenly was able to afford all of this stuff? Actually, what about Elliot's parents in general? Is he an orphan? Did they not notice or care that their son randomly transferred to another school after a murder charge? Do they even exist? Hello?
Fourth of all, erm...yes Jules, that was a fine plan. Force Elliot to kill his girlfriend, great idea. That only caused him to become a prime suspect for murder, thus giving your target a very good reason to be suspicious and avoid him. Wasn't the reason you chose Elliot to act on your behalf so that you wouldn't be suspected? You idiot!
Which leads to the fifth point, what was that bit about Jules relying on Elliot in regards to Nora about? Did Jules really think that such was the Mary Sue of Nora that Elliot would be unable to bring himself to kill her, like the Huntsman towards Snow White? Considering that that's pretty much how Patch was towards Nora, I guess so.
Nora asks why Jules is doing all of this to her, and he says that he's using her as a proxy, because the person he wants to hurt can't be hurt. Nora tries to figure this out, but starts having an...iron deficiency attack again. At least, that's how it's described, with "My eyes moved outof focus. Jules's face was like an Impressionist painting-blurred around the edges, lacking detail. Blood drained from my head, and I felt myselfstart to slip off the chair. I'd felt this way enough times before to know I needed iron. Soon".
Um...is that an effect of anemia?
Well anyway, Jules slaps Nora again (erm, is Fitzpatrick trying to emulate Jack Bauher now?) and continues to try to prod her into realizing who this mysterious person he wants revenge against is. Seeing as how we've had exactly one person in this novel stress how he can't be hurt and has no physical sensations, there really is no drama here.
And then, Jules proceeds to deliver a motive rant that is far more deserving of sympathy than Patch's wangst
"Every year at the start of the Hebrew month of Cheshvan, he takes control of my body. Two whole weeks. That's how long I forfeit control. No freedom, no choice. I don't get the luxury of escaping during those two weeks, loaning my body out, then coming back when it's all over. Then I might be able to convince myself it wasn't really happening. No. I'm still in there, a prisoner inside my own body, living every moment of it...Do you know what that feels like? Do you?"
[...]
"I swore an oath allowing him to take possession of my body during Cheshvan. I was sixteen years old...He tricked me into the oath by torturing me. After, he told me I wasn't human. Can you believe it? Not human. He told me my mother, a human, slept with a fallen angel"
ZeldaQueen: There you have it. I honestly feel sorrier for Jules than I do for Patch. We saw absolutely no evidence that he was a person deserving of any misfortune, and Patch sweeps on in, mindrapes him into submission, and forces him to sign on over his body. And even better? On her FAQ, Fitzpatrick says that Nephilm only turn immortal when they swear an oath of fealty. In other words, not only did Patch torture an innocent guy into promising to forfeit control of his body for two weeks out of every year, he also turned the guy immortal, essentially condemning him to an eternity of having his body stolen, without even the hope of escape through death. And we see that Patch clearly considers him like dirt, since he has shown absolutely no qualms about killing him like a chicken to get a human body. After doing all of that to this guy, after turning him into a slave for eternity, after dragging him around for centuries, Patch was just going to casually kill him.
Of course, that also makes the plot of this story extremely contrived and stupid. What, Patch just lets his extremely valuable and important vassal wander around wherever for the time of year besides those two weeks? Even if we're to assume that the magic oath thing forces Jules to return to him for Cheshvan, isn't it rather arrogant and dumb of Patch to not catch on that Jules would try to pull something on him? The Nephilim are, for all intents and purposes, humans. They think like humans and they act like humans! Patch is supposed to be an expert on human behavior! Did he seriously think he could ruin a person's life so much and violate their bodies and minds so completely and that person wouldn't try to retaliate? Really?
And the rotten cherry on all this? Nora never catches on to the implications of any of this. She never stops and wonders about the fact that her boyfriend had tortured an innocent person into servitude and kept this person in mental chains for several centuries. She never considers just what sort of a depraved, horrible person would do something like that. And really, that sums up the attitude everyone in this series has towards the Nephilim. We'll see later that the Nephilim are abused, enslaved, mindraped, and have their bodies stolen and their lives pervaded. No one feels pity for them, not Nora, not the angels, and certainly not the fallen angels. No one considers that the Nephilim live out most of their lives as people with spouses and parents and children and friends, just going along, not harming anyone.
That is completely and utterly sick.
It's more than clear that Jules/Chauncy has lost his marbles, and we also find out that he inherited the ability to mindrape from his fallen angel father. Nora finally connects the dots and realizes that this is her Nephilim ancestor, and promptly starts wangsting about how she has the blood of a monster in her. Oh for the love of - TIME AND PLACE, YOU MORON!
Jules/Chauncey punches his Villain Speech card and starts explaining everything he did in the book. He was the masked figure who smashed into her car earlier, mindraping her into seeing him as a nondescript figure. Nora figures out by herself that no one trashed her room, it was just Jules mindraping her into thinking he had. He gloats again about how weak her mind is, and how he could have done nothing to her, if only she had been able to block him out.
And then, Fitzpatrick decides to unload upon us one of the stupid and most overused villain cliche motives to grace the world of literature.
"'Imagine yourself in my place,' said Jules. 'Your body violated year after year. Imagine a hatred so hard, nothing but revenge will cure it. Imagine expending large sums of energy and resources to keep a close eye on the object of your revenge, waiting patiently for the moment when fate presented you an opportunity not just to get even, but to tip the scales in your favor.' His eyes locked on mine. 'You're that opportunity. If I hurt you, I hurt Patch.'"
ZeldaQueen: That's right, that's the only reason Nora was involved at all in any of these conflicts - Patch. That's the only reason Dabria wanted to kill her, and that's the only reason this guy wants to get her.
You know, it's dreadfully infuriating when the protagonist of the story is reduced to nothing more than being solely defined by the love interest. Nora has no part at all in her own tale, were it not for her connection to Patch. What the fuck, Fitzpatrick? What the fuck?
Although if Nora had brains enough to call Patch out on the fact that it's essentially his fault her life was in danger for all of this time, I'd be the happiest girl around.
Nora insists that she's not nearly so valuable to Patch as Jules thinks she is, and alright, I can buy her trying to downplay that so he own't torture her. Jules then delivers even more creepy for Patch
"I've been keeping a close eye on Patch for centuries. Last summer he made his first trip to your house, though you didn't notice. He followed you shopping a few times. Every now and then, he made a special trip out of his way to find you. Then he enrolled at your school. I couldn't help but ask myself, what was so special about you? I made an effort to find out. I've been watching you for a while now"
ZeldaQueen: Amazing how Patch continues to ramp up the creepy even when he isn't around. I mean what...is that supposed to be endearing? Because it's not. It's fucking creepy. HE'S FUCKING STALKING HER!!! BEFORE THEY EVEN MET! GOD DAMN!!!!
Nora gets very creeped out, because, as she reminds us, she has felt the occasional Mysterious Presence and assumed it was some sort of phantom guardian, and here she finds out that it's because a creepy stalking
Um... Jules kind of loses me here, because he says that he backs off from stalking her for fear of Patch finding out (I guess Patch would be jealous that someone is doing his job of stalking and scaring Nora) and that not long after, Elliot stepped up and informed Jules that Patch was in love with Nora. Erm... when was this? Elliot had only just transferred to their school earlier in this book, and Jules recruited him some time ago. What, did Jules decide to hire someone to act as his eyes and ears even though he hadn't yet had to back down from the stalking? How long had this plan been in motion? I...I don't understand!
ZeldaQueen: We get a visit from Captain Obvious, as Nora spells out Jules's plan, particularly how he OH SO CONVENIENTLY disappeared whenever Patch was around. You...just noticed that now, have you? We also find out that yes, the camping trip Elliot suggested had been a planned attempt to murder Nora, as had the drive-by shooting in Portland. Presumably Jules needs glasses, seeing as he mistook an old bag lady in Nora's coat as Nora herself. Also, why go to so much trouble? Clearly Jules doesn't care how she dies, so long as she does. Why not slip powdered glass into her lunch? Stab her in her sleep? Send her poisoned cookies via Vee? Why such elaborate plans, instead of something quick and immediate? Why do these villains never have any sense? Bah.
Jules starts to taunt Nora, guessing that she wishes she'd never met Patch and is cursing the position he has put her in as well as having fallen in love with him. No Jules, a sensible person would think those things. Nora clearly is not in any way, shape, or form sensible, because all she can think is "Hearing Jules talk about Patch's love filled me with irrational hope". Why? Can you explain that, please? What, does it remind you that he might come charging to the rescue? That you *gag* have something to live for? Why? Go on, explain yourself!
No, Nora doesn't explain. Instead, she whips the scalpel out of her pants (that's what she said) and threatens to stab Jules with it. Yes, I'm sure that will go over well with the unbalanced, immortal guy. He flips his shit over this, and knocks a bunch of beakers and papers off of the desk next to him. Nora stabs him a few times which seems to put him in a great deal of pain. I...strongly suspect that Fitzpatrick is overestimating how much damage a scalpel can do, especially given that Jules needs to use both hands to yank it out of his leg. Regardless, this does nothing but piss him off, so when Nora tries to run, he just knocks her over. He "flipped [her] on my stomach and straddled [her] from behind" and, besides sounding almost exactly like what Patch did to her in the motel (and no, I'm not letting that go), I swear it sounds like he's doing some anal penetration thing on her.
Nora screams and flails and tries to get the scalpel, but of course it's just out of reach and Jules drags her away from it. She kicks him in the balls and makes another break for the door, only for him to block him. He wishes her luck on escaping, and adds "You'll see what I mean" before passing out.
Um...two chapters left. Woot? God, I feel icky...
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Return to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 05:08 am (UTC)I pity Jules, not Patch/Nora. Jules is essentially a slave (even if he has no logic skills, I'll chock that up to the whole mind snapping thing). Patch is just an ass- and abusive, arrogant ass. And Nora is just, I don't want to talk about her. Why do we like the daring duo again?
Oh, right, Patch is pretty. What was I thinking?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-13 05:21 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-14 04:47 am (UTC)Of course, Nora's change of behavior after dating Patch just adds to the unfortunate implications and terrible morals. She basically goes from being a reasonably responsible girl who is focused on her grades and getting into a good college, and ends up being a bitch who lies to her mother and the police, engages in activities that endanger herself, apparently gives no more thought to her schooling (it never really comes up anymore) and - in the sequel - breaks into a girl's room and steals her stuff, because she feels she has a right to it. Patch's influence has led to her doing that stuff.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 05:47 am (UTC)Seriously, how sad is it that
A) There's almost no difference between the villains and the love interest in this story, and
B) It reads better as a horror novel than romance?
Cause really, this thing scares me.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 05:50 am (UTC)*flatly* Let me guess, this was copied and pasted from the ridiculous scene in “Twilight” where James calls Bella and she stupidly decides to do what he says?
/So yeah, Jules (and I still can't take this seriously, I'm sorry) starts gloating, saying that it's Nora's own fault she got mindraped into thinking he was dead, because "If your mind wasn't so weak, I couldn't have done a thing"./
*coldly* Oh, yes, just like if a person doesn’t fight off his/her attacker successfully, it’s his/her fault if he/she ends up raped/murdered. Thank you so much for that disgusting pile of victim-blaming, Ms. Fitzpatrick, because your heinous piece of filth needed just another vile message to send to young readers. And *no,* you can’t use the “it’s a villain who’s saying this” excuse. *Everyone in this entire book* has been perpetrating this despicable lie. Patch especially delights in telling Nora about all the ways that he can control and manipulate her and how she shouldn’t try to stop him. This whole book is shouting, “You’re going to get raped, girls, and there’s nothing you can do about it! Stop making a fuss and enjoy it for the hot, sexy fun that it is!”
/And then, Jules proceeds to deliver a motive rant that is far more deserving of sympathy than Patch's wangst/
A similar thing happens in the third book of “The Mortal Instruments” series. There’s a character who’s been marked as Designated Evil and yet that character’s back-story is still more sympathetic than Jace’s angst.
/He was the masked figure who smashed into her car earlier, mindraping her into seeing him as a nondescript figure./
*sighs* Does it really matter anymore? Patch, Dabria, and Jules/Chauncey have all attacked Nora and warped her mind for the heck of it. They’re all despicable, so does it really matter which one of those psychos was the pointless masked figure?
/You know, it's dreadfully infuriating when the protagonist of the story is reduced to nothing more than being solely defined by the love interest. Nora has no part at all in her own tale, were it not for her connection to Patch./
Again, this book is the bane of feminism. It fails the Bechdel Test on so many levels. It is a cesspit of misogyny and sexism.
/Jules starts to taunt Nora, guessing that she wishes she'd never met Patch and is cursing the position he has put her in as well as having fallen in love with him./
*grumbles* Oh, we wish.
/"Hearing Jules talk about Patch's love filled me with irrational hope"./
*patiently* Sweetheart, the only reasons that Jules was saying those things is because he was acting as your author’s sock puppet for the moment. Your author is desperately trying to convince us that Patch is a decent guy who really loves you, but, naturally, is failing miserably. That loathsome creature who calls himself by that utter mockery of a moniker, “Patch,” does not love you nor does he appear to love anyone but himself. Instead of being filled with hope, you should be staring at Jules as if he had three heads and saying, “I’m sorry, you’re saying that that abusive psychopath *loves* me? What planet are you on?”
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 07:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 07:50 am (UTC)'Jules, a Nephilim, was taken over by a fallen angel, but not Patch. This angel drove him to insanity, and thus he was able to find the secret to ultimately killing fallen angels. With this secret, Jules goes out and vows revenge on all fallen angels under the guise of helping other Nephilim but really, he's just crazy.
So! He stumbles onto Patch, but before he could kill him, Patch escapes. Then, though some convoluted stuff with Elliot (what? I'm not writing this FOR her) he finds out about Patch falling for Nora and decides to lure her to get to Patch.
Blah, right before they kill him (which you know is going to happen), he tells them that he isn't the only Nephilim who is in on the secret and there is a large group of them set out to kill all fallen angels and maybe angels as well. You know, for treating them like shit.'
See? Patch is sympathetic because he is being hunted. Jules is still psycho for wanting to kill someone just because of who they are, but is still sympathetic for his back story, and the Nephilim are the dangerous yet sympathetic major bad guys of the series. Also, the angels and fallen angels have good reason to want to get rid of them (really, who wants to wiped out?) other than 'just 'cause'.
I know I didn't really change anything about Nora's story not being about Nora, but I was trying to work with Fitzpatrick gave me. Which was nothing.
Oh, and that took me not even three minutes to figure out.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-10 07:06 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 10:14 am (UTC)You mentioning Jules being as much of a creep as Patch reminds me... I recently read a Jules/Nora crack pairing fic. It makes no difference than Patch/Nora other than the whole incest nonsense. Durrr... >___< Crack pairing fics makes everything better for me though.
You know, I'm suddenly excited about the graphic novel. I actually want to know what Jules/Chauncey/whatever looks like.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 12:20 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 03:18 pm (UTC)I think Fitzpatrick was high when she wrote this.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 02:33 am (UTC)High or just not thinking. I think she's like Meyer, and was so obsessed with writing her bad boy that she forgot about actual plot.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 01:48 pm (UTC)The media's obsession with bad boys has become really irritating. I mean, I understand the appeal when its done well but most of the time its not. Its done really really bad.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-07 08:28 pm (UTC)The only one who seemed like the Bad Guy was Patch, because he's shown time and time again that he had opportunity and ability to do all the things Jules are taking credit for here...
... Unless we're pulling a trick like at the end of the movie Valentine, where David Boreanaz tricks his girlfriend to think that her friend was the murderer, even though he was the one who did it. ... Then again, who am I kidding? That could actually be interesting, and Patch wouldn't be a Good Guy.
I'm not even going to try to think of a reason why Nora went into the school, because I really don't think even Nora knows why she did that. She was forced into it by her author.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 01:28 am (UTC)"I'm not even going to try to think of a reason why Nora went into the school, because I really don't think even Nora knows why she did that. She was forced into it by her author"
Best description of it I've seen yet.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-24 01:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 01:11 am (UTC)No, really. Nora's school gets a new kid named Patch, and Nora can't help notice that her classmates, Jules, is really nervous. Patch harasses her, but this Nora will have none of it, tries to fight back, tries to involve police or her mother, but patch, being the cheating villain he is, escapes their notice by either fleeing or mindraping them into thinking he's a good guy or not there. Amidst all this, Nora still notes that Jules, who she wouldn't normally notice because he's so quiet and nondescript, is increasingly nervous and terrified. Jules tries to speak to Nora in private, but things keep getting in teh way. Finally, he summons Nora to the school to meet him, and she only comes after phoning her mom to say where she is, agrees to meet him outside the school, not in, and brings a good friend (not Vee) to hide nearby with the police on speed-dial. Just in case. Jules breaks down and reveals that he is centuries old, Patch has been mind-raping him all this time, he wants Patch dead, Nora is his descendant and therefore the only one who can help him, and please help him escape this endless nightmare. Nora is horrified but realizes it all adds up, agrees to help Jules, and Patch gets his ass handed to him.
....except Jules isn't a love-interest, just a classmate and eventually considered a friend, because they're both aware that they are distantly-related.
....wow. This was all right off the top of my head, in thirty seconds, and it still feels like a better plot than this drek is!
(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 01:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-08 11:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2012-02-05 09:27 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-24 12:58 am (UTC)That's the grand reveal? Jules? WHO THE FUCK IS JULES!? Oh yeah, that guy who was with Elliot all those times. And is apparently the same guy from the prologue. *sigh* Again, Fitzpatrick, darling, there is a way to set up a Chekov's gun type reveal. This. Is not. It. And of course, he twirls his mustache and monologues for the remainder of the chapter.
I can forgive the fact that Jules wants to hurt Nora to get to Patch. Ignoring everything else, Jules can't hurt Patch physically cuz he's a
vampire with diamond skinfallen angel. He's going about it all wrong, but I can understand where he's coming from. However, it falls flat for, well, I'm sure you know all the reasons. My god, how stupid is this woman? I'm not sure who I'm referring to at this point.(no subject)
Date: 2011-11-25 08:57 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-12-14 01:27 pm (UTC)Seriously, I couldn't follow any of this chapter! How could any editor let this pass through?! None of this makes sense and it's obvious Fitzpatrick is just making shit up as she goes along.
The utter stupidity in this chapter lies mostly with that, just turning Jules into the villain is so last minute of Fitzpatrick and plain shoddy storytelling! Did she run out of ideas by the end or did she truly think she was being clever? I mean, I've seen movies and read stories where the person you least suspected all along turns out to be the culprit, which can be done well, but this is just fucked! If you're gonna pull that card, you have to build up to end towards the end and twist and turn the reader/viewer, not shove it in like a square peg in a round hole!
And some 'hero' Patch is. He's wandering around the school, yet Nora still manages to be captured by Jules. Where the fuck is he??? And if Nora was so scared shitless, why couldn't she have called the police while she was outside to begin with and report that someone had broken into the school and thinks the culprit has someone hostage inside?
And I have to say as someone who's worked in classrooms: Kids cannot leave until the room is clean especially at the end of the day, and especially if you're doing work in a lab room, you have to use those scientific tools under supervision, ensure all are given back at the end of class and count out everything to ensure it's all there. Do you know how many OHS rules that breaks just leaving a scapel around like that?! :O Heads would roll for that! Plus it couldn't be more contrived, like something out of a D-grade horror movie.
And another lesson learned:
Patch: Abusive + manipulative + sociopathic tendencies = hawt, sexy leading man!
Jules: Abusive + manipulative + sociopathic tendencies = icky evil villain!
(Granted, that shitty characterisation of Jules came out of nowhere this chapter, but that's pretty much Fitzpatrick's intention).
(no subject)
Date: 2012-01-07 04:36 pm (UTC)"And if Nora was so scared shitless, why couldn't she have called the police while she was outside to begin with and report that someone had broken into the school and thinks the culprit has someone hostage inside?"
The reason she didn't call the police was because Vee illegally broke into the school and would get in trouble for it. In other words, she'd rather her friend risk dying than be saved by professionals and get in trouble for VOLUNTARILY BREAKING INTO A SCHOOL.
Yes, these people are not very bright.
(no subject)
Date: 2013-09-02 09:13 am (UTC)What the huh? Was she going for a Twilight-style "Twu Wuv saves heroine from evil kidnapper" thing?
Gah. Nora gives a dramatic "It's you" and off comes the mask to reveal that the evil genius behind this all was...Jules!
Wait, what? Jules? The guy who was most characterized by his absence from just about everything?
"Amid a thousand other self-preserving thoughts, I told myself not to appear frightened. Somewhere in the back of my mind I remembered that advice from a self-defense class I'd taken with Mom after my dad died. Make eye contact ... look confident ... use common sense ... all easier said than done"
Using common sense is so hard!!!1
Man, I really feel sorry for Jules. I mean, sure, he gives that whole "I'm gonna break you" speech to Nora and all, but... Patch has been taking control of his body and treating him like dirt for more than four hundred years. He's planning to kill him so he can be a real boy.
Your body violated year after year.
Do. No. Want.
And Nora is just an accessory of Patch now, is she?
Spitefic: Meeting Part 1
Date: 2015-05-20 02:20 am (UTC)He was curled up into a ball, huddled beneath a cardboard box. It was raining, the wind howling and thunder rumbling in the distance. He was shaking, trying to huddle into himself for warmth, tossing and turning inside the box. He turned to face Elliot, and he felt his breath caught when he looked into his eyes.
They were... empty. As if someone had come along and sucked the life out of him. Those beautiful blue eyes just looked through him, as though he were miles away. Everything about him spoke of hopelessness, of giving up. His teeth were chattering, his face turning blue, and those eyes...
Without realizing it, he had already walked over to him, taking off his coat. The wind howled around them and he shivered as he knelt down towards the man – no the boy in the box. He ignored how wet his pants were getting and carefully tucked his coat around the boy, making sure to tuck in the corners so he wouldn't get cold.
The boy blinked and looked up at him. His eyes lost some of its emptiness as he stared at Elliot, confused. Elliot felt his cheeks redden at how invasive the boy's stare was. Almost as if he were looking deep into his soul.
He cleared his throat. “A-are you okay?”
Re: Spitefic: Meeting Part 2
Date: 2015-05-20 02:20 am (UTC)“What?”
The boy flushed. “I-I wanted to know if you were okay. If- if you needed something or...”
He started up at him, and began to realize he wasn't as cold as he was before. He looked down at himself and realized he was covered in a long blue coat.
“Did you give me this coat?”
“What? Oh ,yeah, you looked a bit cold, so...” The boy scratched the back of his head and gave him an awkward smile.
Chauncey found himself smiling back at him. “Thank you.”
“Oh, uh, your welcome.”
They stared at each other for a few moments in silence.
“You should probably go.”
The boy blinked at him. “What?”
“It's pretty cold out here right? Boy like you, would have a family waiting for him somewhere.”
The boy raised an eyebrow at him. “Boy?”
“Yeah.”
The boy made a show of looking him up and down. “You don't look any older than me.”
Chauncey barked out a harsh laugh. “I'm older than I look.”
“Hmm.” The boy didn't look convinced.
Chauncey shrugged and burrowed inside his temporary shelter, closing his eyes. He needed sleep; hadn't gotten any in two weeks, not since that bastard took control of him again and made him--
“Do you wanna come with me?”
Re: Spitefic: Meeting Part 3
Date: 2015-05-20 02:20 am (UTC)“Do you want to come with me?” Elliot repeated.
When the boy continued to look at him, Elliot sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “Look, you may not know me and all, but I promise not to bite. My parents aren't home--”
The boy rolled his eyes. “Well that's a relief.”
“--and we have a guest bedroom you could stay in if you want. It's better than sleeping out in the middle of the rain anyway. And look,” Elliot reached into his pocket, taking out his cell phone, “if you want, you can take my cell phone okay? You can call 911 at any time if you start to feel scared.”
The boy snorted, taking the phone from Elliot's hands. He looked at it for a minute before glancing up at Elliot. “What do you want?”
“Nothing.”
“You expect me to believe that?”
“Look, I just want to get you out of the rain, okay? You look cold and my mom always told me to help those in need. You don't have to if you don't--”
“Okay.”
Elliot looked surprised. “Okay?” He honestly didn't expect him to agree.
“Okay.” The boy started to wiggle himself out of the box and Elliot got out of his way.
Re: Spitefic: Meeting Part 4
Date: 2015-05-20 02:21 am (UTC)Besides, the boy seemed nice. And he wasn't willing to pass up the chance of a free bed.
“Which way is your house?”
The boy looked for a moment before walking forward. Chauncey walked with him, making sure to use the coat's hood in order to block him from the rain.
“What's your name boy?”
He didn't have to be a mind reader like Patch to know that he was glaring at him. “Elliot. You?”
“Chauncey. Around here though, everyone calls me Jules.”
000000000000000000
I was thinking about how Elliot and Chauncey/Jules met and came up with this whole AU concept, wherein Jules and Eliot are gay and spend the rest of the story plotting with each other and figuring out how to take down Patch and the rest of the fallen angels, all the while trying to save the Nephilim from people who want to hurt them. Ever since reading these sporks, I've shipped the two together simply because they're so underdeveloped and there's a fuck load of potential between the two.