Betrayed: Chapter 28
Sep. 5th, 2011 05:18 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: In which things happen, hallelujah! Also, only four chapters left!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: Zoey disconnects from Heath and starts trying to figure stuff out. This leads to an infodump complete with pointless backstory that might have been interesting if it weren't given while the flipping climax is supposed to be going on. Anyway, the upshot is that normally Zoey could make it to the depot Heath's being held in in jig time, but the storm has made the roads impassable. It's also goin to be too long to walk there, especially since the Cast ladies decided to channel Airhead and Meyer and have that conversation with Heath take several hours. No, it certainly didn't feel like hours, especially given that it was in real time. Whatever. The point is that Zoey is up the creek without a paddle, oh no, whatever shall she do, etc and so on.
Aphrodite shows up at this point and I am instantly cheered because as much as everyone tries to make her the Scary Sue, she still is one of the few characters to keep the plot going. Sure enough, the first thing she does upon arrival is tell Zoey to ride Persephone the horse to get to Heath on time. Doy! Apparently she had a vision that Heath will die if Zoey doesn't. We get some very obvious dialogue where Aphrodite asks if Zoey believes her about this and Zoey says she does. I guess this is supposed to be a sign that Zoey now trusts Aphrodite, although I'd like to point out that we still only see said believe when it's someone Zoey likes that's on the line. Apparently random strangers or people she knows in passing can be left to fate.
So yeah, Aphrodite helps Zoey get Persephone ready, and I love imagining that Aphrodite's thought process is something like "Can we please get to the climax so this story can end?" She also warns Zoey to have her friends add their powers. Aphrodite can't say exactly how that works, given that they can't physically follow Zoey, and the implication is that she's just giving advice based on her own Deus Ex Machina feeling. Have I mentioned how I hate those things?
Zoey calls Shaunee and basically tells her to get together with Erin and Damien and summon their elements and basically pray for her. That's it. They're supposed to be Zoey's friends, the ones who are always there with and for her, and their role in the climax of this book is to just sit in their rooms and summon their elements. I might add that since Zoey can summon all five elements on her own, I honestly can't tell if they actually accomplish anything by doing that or if it's just something to raise morale.
Well anyway, Shaunee agrees to serve as a satellite for Zoey alongside the others and hangs up. She then rides out into the night and saves the day.
Oh wait, no, she just sits around and continues to talk to Aphrodite. Apparently Zoey is determined to use her Sue-powers of halting the plot to battle Aphrodite's attempts at progressing the story. For heaven's sake, question her after you save Heath! No, we must determine at this very moment what Aphrodite knows about the red-eyed ghosts. She says that she only saw them in two visions, with the one she just had being the second. The first was about them kidnapping and murdering the two high school guys who went missing previously. Zoey instantly jumps up on her high horse (metaphorically speaking, I mean) and starts telling Aphrodite off for keeping quiet about that. *rubs head* Two things, folks.
First of all, given how Zoey has been having visions and dreams and sightings of those ghosts since the last book and done fuck-all to follow or catch them, she has room to talk about ignoring vital information that could save lives.
Second of all WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT APHRODITE IS BEING DISCREDTED AND SILENCED BY NEFERET!!!
Aphrodite gets pissed and actually does remind Zoey of the second point. Apparently she told Neferet about the vision and that was when Neferet started spreading word that the visions are fake and not to be trusted.
I'd like to remind the jury at this point that Neferet has been obviously suspicious about the police investigating all of the missing students, has all but openly stated that she hates humans, has been seen conspiring and making out with the red-eyed ghosts, and we now see she has been doing her best to keep people from believing Aphrodite about how the ghosts are the source of the murdered high school guys.
I swear to God, if Zoey continues to have no idea of exactly what Neferet is up to from this point onward, I'm going to smash my head into the wall. Of course, given that Zoey immediately says this
"I knew she was telling the truth, just as surely as I had begun to know that there was something dark about Neferet"
ZeldaQueen: I think my poor head is doomed. Seriously she's begun to know that by this point? SERIOUSLY???
So Aphrodite gets Zoey on the horse and tells her to get a move-on or Heath will die. Zoey continues to dwaddle, insisting that Heath is her ex-boyfriend. Even though she just told Erik that she still loved him and, by vampire standards, they're dating.
I'm not even going to bother.
Aphrodite gives Zoey a blanket because Heath will need it, before reminding her that Stevie Rae is One Of Them and thus isn't the same person anymore. Anyone willing to bet that Zoey will prove otherwise with the Power of Love? And no, Zoey doesn't mention Venus at all. Why, did you think she'd care? There's some stupid banter about how Zoey and Aphrodite like so aren't friends just because they're helping each other out and...Christ Almight, they're still talking! Aphrodite reminds Zoey to "Remember to pull silence and darkness around yourself so humans will have a hard time seeing you on the way there. You don't have time to be stopped". What? How does that one work? Please tell me Zoey isn't going to pull another power out of her anus. God-damned-finally, Zoey sets off into the night. That only took what, a huge chunk of the chapter?
So yeah, we actually get some decent prose as Zoey describes how there's so much snow flying around that she really can't see much and how she is steering Persephone thorugh it all. If it weren't for the fact that SYMBOLISM is so freaking obvious in these books, I might even think that there was meant to be some gender-flipped Orpheus in the Underworld thing going on. And then, the Cast ladies decide to answer my question about the summoning silence and whatnot
"'We're silent … ghosts ... no one can see us. No one can hear us.' I murmured against the whining wind, and was shocked when the area around me stilled. With a sudden thought I continued. 'Wind, be calm near me. Fire, warm my way. Water, still the snow in my path. Earth, shelter me when you can. And spirit, help me not to give in to my fear.' The words were barely out of my mouth when I saw a little flash of energy around me. Persephone snorted and she skittered a little to the side. And as she moved it was like a little bubble of serenity moved with her. Yes, it was still blizzarding and the night was still cold and frighteningly alien, but I was filled with calm and surrounded by the protection of the elements. I bowed my head and whispered, 'Thank you, Nyx, for the great gifts you have given me.' Silently I added that I hoped I deserved them"
ZeldaQueen: Yes. She just muttered a few words and the snow stopped impeding her.
We'd best get used to this, ladies and gentlemen. I have a feeling that any time Zoey's in trouble, she just needs to summon Captain Planet to save the day for her. I'm also willing to bet good money that the elements come to her aid right away, and with no drawbacks or botches or anything. Heck, it only took her one practice session in the last book to be an expert at summoning elements. Why let boring things like practice or failure get in the way of the Sue?
The trip to the depot is pretty quick and unremarkable, save for the fact that the Cast ladies apparently heard my previous comment about what Zoey's journey reminded me of. Because they give us this
"With the blanket streaming out behind us I imagined that I looked like the heroine in an old historical romance novel, and wished I was galloping to a naughty keg party with someone my kingly father had decided was inappropriate instead of heading into hell"
ZeldaQueen: That's stupid and pointless and I have no idea where it came from, so let's just leave it and move on.
They reach the depot and Zoey tells us how it had once been beautiful but had been abandoned and looted and now looks like something that should be in Gotham City. And yes, Zoey takes time out of the climactic rescue mission to remind us that she's a dork because tee hee, isn't it so cute and dorky of her to know about Batman?
Zoey goes into the basement and notices how it seems like "a homeless ghost town" and yammers on about how strange it is that there are no homeless people camping there during the storm. Then she remembers that oh yeah, there are blood-drinking, murderous monsters down there. NO DUH, YOU IDIOT!!!
She finds the grate that will let her into the tunnels and we are "treated" to her going on about how yucky and gross it is and how she doesn't want to touch it but must do so anyway. That doesn't make her look brave or sacrificing, Cast ladies. It makes her look stupid. A brave person wouldn't be worried about touching something dirty if their friend's life is on the one. Oh, and she shows off how clever she allegedly is by telling us that the grate opens easily and thus that means that someone else has used it regularly before she got there. YOU KNOW THAT! HEATH TOLD YOU THAT THE GHOSTS WERE LIVING THERE! WE HAVE MEMORY SPANS LONGER THAN YOU, YOU DUMBASS! STOP REMINDING US OF EVERYTHING!!!
*rubs head* Right. Moving on. She hops down into the sewers and takes time for her eyes to adjust to the dark, even though we were told previously that fledglings can see perfeclty fine in the dark. She heads to the right and goes on until the tunnels have shifted from being well-constructed to being all shoddy and looking "like they had been gouged out by very drunk Tolkien dwarfs". And yes, she again reminds us that tee hee, she's such a geek for knowing about Lord of the Rings. THAT JOKE WASN'T FUNNY ANY OF THE OTHER TIMES YOU DID IT. STOP THAT.
Also, apparently she knows it's cold even though she also says she doesn't really feel the cold. Again, that's so stupid and nonsensical that I'm just going to leave it.
So Zoey is walking. And walking. And walking. And - JESUS CHRIST, GET ON WITH IT!!! I understand building suspense, but this had moved beyond that and into Extremely Boring Territory!
Something actually does happen at this point. Heath screams and that serves as a wake-up call to Zoey. She runs down the tunnel, reminding us that fledglings are Better Than Humans and are much faster and stronger and she is Best Of Them All and thus makes it to Heath in seconds. No, we get no real explanation as to why she didn't do that sooner, besides the fact that she was too chicken.
Right. So the red-eyed ghosts are gathered around Heath, and of course there's a lantern casting creepy shadows around them even though they shouldn't need light to see in the sewers and I doubt they'd be so considerate for the humans they've kidnapped. Heath apparently has un-duct taped his ankles but not his wrists and has been cut by the ghosts for feeding. Zoey instantly gets extremely freaking creepy over this
"And that was my last goad. Heath belonged to me— despite my confusion about the whole blood issue, and despite my feelings for Erik. Heath was mine and no one else was ever, ever going to feed from what was mine"
ZeldaQueen: Like I said before, given the blood drinking equalling sex metaphor, it just sounds like she's saying "How dare you rape him? He's mine for sex!" I mean really, Cast ladies, couldn't you have just left it that the sight of someone she cared about being frightened and hurt made Zoey go all furious?
I might also add that it makes Zoey's ignoring of the red-eyed ghosts when they kidnapped the other guys look a lot more horrible. She doesn't care about them. They aren't her main source ofsex blood.
Long story short, Cast ladies? Please put a little more thought into what you're writing. I beg of you!
Anyway, Zoey goes crashing through the crowd of red-eyed ghosts, who I guess couldn't see or smell her at all. She reaches Heath who looks happy as heck to see her. Zoey, of course, is quite bitchy and comments "just like a guy, he tried to push me behind him". *snarls* Oh yes, how chauvenistic of him to care about your wellbeing! He never saw you in action before, dumbass! For all he knows, you lied to him about having Sue-per powers! There's a difference between dismissing a woman's fighting abilities and making an effort to protect a loved one! Lord!
Zoey continues to be unlikable, treating Heath in a patronizing manner because "he's cute and all, but he is just a human".
Allow me to repeat that.
"he's cute and all, but he is just a human"
Really, Cast ladies, PUT A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT INTO THIS!!!
*shakes head* I am so glad this book is nearly over.
Zoey cuts the duct tape holding Heath's wrists together and shoves him behind her and faces the ghosts. We then get a paragraph dedicated to describing how hideous they all are, which would be all well and good except (A) this book is one huge offender of Beauty Equals Goodness, (B) we've already been told several times how ugly and disgusting these things are, and (C) Zoey describes their ugliness in the most condescending and bitchy manner possible.
Elliot comes forward at this point and we continue to have it hammered into our heads that he's so ugly and horrible and hateful and a whole bunch of other negative adjectives. Zoey summons fire into her hand and tells him "You were a pain in the ass when you were alive, and death hasn't changed anything". She tells this to a guy she saw twice before he died violently and bloodily. Our heroine.
Although I must ask, why go for fire? Why not summon a gust of wind to knock them all over? Or why not bring water down the sewers to sweep them away?
Oh. Right. We must be Overly Dramatic about this. My bad.
Stevie Rae pushes to the front of the group and says that death does change some people. And...this appearance by her is treated as a shocking way to end the chapter, even though we've already seen that she's a ghost.
Whatever. The Cast ladies want to end it there, so let's call it a day
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: Zoey disconnects from Heath and starts trying to figure stuff out. This leads to an infodump complete with pointless backstory that might have been interesting if it weren't given while the flipping climax is supposed to be going on. Anyway, the upshot is that normally Zoey could make it to the depot Heath's being held in in jig time, but the storm has made the roads impassable. It's also goin to be too long to walk there, especially since the Cast ladies decided to channel Airhead and Meyer and have that conversation with Heath take several hours. No, it certainly didn't feel like hours, especially given that it was in real time. Whatever. The point is that Zoey is up the creek without a paddle, oh no, whatever shall she do, etc and so on.
Aphrodite shows up at this point and I am instantly cheered because as much as everyone tries to make her the Scary Sue, she still is one of the few characters to keep the plot going. Sure enough, the first thing she does upon arrival is tell Zoey to ride Persephone the horse to get to Heath on time. Doy! Apparently she had a vision that Heath will die if Zoey doesn't. We get some very obvious dialogue where Aphrodite asks if Zoey believes her about this and Zoey says she does. I guess this is supposed to be a sign that Zoey now trusts Aphrodite, although I'd like to point out that we still only see said believe when it's someone Zoey likes that's on the line. Apparently random strangers or people she knows in passing can be left to fate.
So yeah, Aphrodite helps Zoey get Persephone ready, and I love imagining that Aphrodite's thought process is something like "Can we please get to the climax so this story can end?" She also warns Zoey to have her friends add their powers. Aphrodite can't say exactly how that works, given that they can't physically follow Zoey, and the implication is that she's just giving advice based on her own Deus Ex Machina feeling. Have I mentioned how I hate those things?
Zoey calls Shaunee and basically tells her to get together with Erin and Damien and summon their elements and basically pray for her. That's it. They're supposed to be Zoey's friends, the ones who are always there with and for her, and their role in the climax of this book is to just sit in their rooms and summon their elements. I might add that since Zoey can summon all five elements on her own, I honestly can't tell if they actually accomplish anything by doing that or if it's just something to raise morale.
Well anyway, Shaunee agrees to serve as a satellite for Zoey alongside the others and hangs up. She then rides out into the night and saves the day.
Oh wait, no, she just sits around and continues to talk to Aphrodite. Apparently Zoey is determined to use her Sue-powers of halting the plot to battle Aphrodite's attempts at progressing the story. For heaven's sake, question her after you save Heath! No, we must determine at this very moment what Aphrodite knows about the red-eyed ghosts. She says that she only saw them in two visions, with the one she just had being the second. The first was about them kidnapping and murdering the two high school guys who went missing previously. Zoey instantly jumps up on her high horse (metaphorically speaking, I mean) and starts telling Aphrodite off for keeping quiet about that. *rubs head* Two things, folks.
First of all, given how Zoey has been having visions and dreams and sightings of those ghosts since the last book and done fuck-all to follow or catch them, she has room to talk about ignoring vital information that could save lives.
Second of all WE ALREADY ESTABLISHED THAT APHRODITE IS BEING DISCREDTED AND SILENCED BY NEFERET!!!
Aphrodite gets pissed and actually does remind Zoey of the second point. Apparently she told Neferet about the vision and that was when Neferet started spreading word that the visions are fake and not to be trusted.
I'd like to remind the jury at this point that Neferet has been obviously suspicious about the police investigating all of the missing students, has all but openly stated that she hates humans, has been seen conspiring and making out with the red-eyed ghosts, and we now see she has been doing her best to keep people from believing Aphrodite about how the ghosts are the source of the murdered high school guys.
I swear to God, if Zoey continues to have no idea of exactly what Neferet is up to from this point onward, I'm going to smash my head into the wall. Of course, given that Zoey immediately says this
"I knew she was telling the truth, just as surely as I had begun to know that there was something dark about Neferet"
ZeldaQueen: I think my poor head is doomed. Seriously she's begun to know that by this point? SERIOUSLY???
So Aphrodite gets Zoey on the horse and tells her to get a move-on or Heath will die. Zoey continues to dwaddle, insisting that Heath is her ex-boyfriend. Even though she just told Erik that she still loved him and, by vampire standards, they're dating.
I'm not even going to bother.
Aphrodite gives Zoey a blanket because Heath will need it, before reminding her that Stevie Rae is One Of Them and thus isn't the same person anymore. Anyone willing to bet that Zoey will prove otherwise with the Power of Love? And no, Zoey doesn't mention Venus at all. Why, did you think she'd care? There's some stupid banter about how Zoey and Aphrodite like so aren't friends just because they're helping each other out and...Christ Almight, they're still talking! Aphrodite reminds Zoey to "Remember to pull silence and darkness around yourself so humans will have a hard time seeing you on the way there. You don't have time to be stopped". What? How does that one work? Please tell me Zoey isn't going to pull another power out of her anus. God-damned-finally, Zoey sets off into the night. That only took what, a huge chunk of the chapter?
So yeah, we actually get some decent prose as Zoey describes how there's so much snow flying around that she really can't see much and how she is steering Persephone thorugh it all. If it weren't for the fact that SYMBOLISM is so freaking obvious in these books, I might even think that there was meant to be some gender-flipped Orpheus in the Underworld thing going on. And then, the Cast ladies decide to answer my question about the summoning silence and whatnot
"'We're silent … ghosts ... no one can see us. No one can hear us.' I murmured against the whining wind, and was shocked when the area around me stilled. With a sudden thought I continued. 'Wind, be calm near me. Fire, warm my way. Water, still the snow in my path. Earth, shelter me when you can. And spirit, help me not to give in to my fear.' The words were barely out of my mouth when I saw a little flash of energy around me. Persephone snorted and she skittered a little to the side. And as she moved it was like a little bubble of serenity moved with her. Yes, it was still blizzarding and the night was still cold and frighteningly alien, but I was filled with calm and surrounded by the protection of the elements. I bowed my head and whispered, 'Thank you, Nyx, for the great gifts you have given me.' Silently I added that I hoped I deserved them"
ZeldaQueen: Yes. She just muttered a few words and the snow stopped impeding her.
We'd best get used to this, ladies and gentlemen. I have a feeling that any time Zoey's in trouble, she just needs to summon Captain Planet to save the day for her. I'm also willing to bet good money that the elements come to her aid right away, and with no drawbacks or botches or anything. Heck, it only took her one practice session in the last book to be an expert at summoning elements. Why let boring things like practice or failure get in the way of the Sue?
The trip to the depot is pretty quick and unremarkable, save for the fact that the Cast ladies apparently heard my previous comment about what Zoey's journey reminded me of. Because they give us this
"With the blanket streaming out behind us I imagined that I looked like the heroine in an old historical romance novel, and wished I was galloping to a naughty keg party with someone my kingly father had decided was inappropriate instead of heading into hell"
ZeldaQueen: That's stupid and pointless and I have no idea where it came from, so let's just leave it and move on.
They reach the depot and Zoey tells us how it had once been beautiful but had been abandoned and looted and now looks like something that should be in Gotham City. And yes, Zoey takes time out of the climactic rescue mission to remind us that she's a dork because tee hee, isn't it so cute and dorky of her to know about Batman?
Zoey goes into the basement and notices how it seems like "a homeless ghost town" and yammers on about how strange it is that there are no homeless people camping there during the storm. Then she remembers that oh yeah, there are blood-drinking, murderous monsters down there. NO DUH, YOU IDIOT!!!
She finds the grate that will let her into the tunnels and we are "treated" to her going on about how yucky and gross it is and how she doesn't want to touch it but must do so anyway. That doesn't make her look brave or sacrificing, Cast ladies. It makes her look stupid. A brave person wouldn't be worried about touching something dirty if their friend's life is on the one. Oh, and she shows off how clever she allegedly is by telling us that the grate opens easily and thus that means that someone else has used it regularly before she got there. YOU KNOW THAT! HEATH TOLD YOU THAT THE GHOSTS WERE LIVING THERE! WE HAVE MEMORY SPANS LONGER THAN YOU, YOU DUMBASS! STOP REMINDING US OF EVERYTHING!!!
*rubs head* Right. Moving on. She hops down into the sewers and takes time for her eyes to adjust to the dark, even though we were told previously that fledglings can see perfeclty fine in the dark. She heads to the right and goes on until the tunnels have shifted from being well-constructed to being all shoddy and looking "like they had been gouged out by very drunk Tolkien dwarfs". And yes, she again reminds us that tee hee, she's such a geek for knowing about Lord of the Rings. THAT JOKE WASN'T FUNNY ANY OF THE OTHER TIMES YOU DID IT. STOP THAT.
Also, apparently she knows it's cold even though she also says she doesn't really feel the cold. Again, that's so stupid and nonsensical that I'm just going to leave it.
So Zoey is walking. And walking. And walking. And - JESUS CHRIST, GET ON WITH IT!!! I understand building suspense, but this had moved beyond that and into Extremely Boring Territory!
Something actually does happen at this point. Heath screams and that serves as a wake-up call to Zoey. She runs down the tunnel, reminding us that fledglings are Better Than Humans and are much faster and stronger and she is Best Of Them All and thus makes it to Heath in seconds. No, we get no real explanation as to why she didn't do that sooner, besides the fact that she was too chicken.
Right. So the red-eyed ghosts are gathered around Heath, and of course there's a lantern casting creepy shadows around them even though they shouldn't need light to see in the sewers and I doubt they'd be so considerate for the humans they've kidnapped. Heath apparently has un-duct taped his ankles but not his wrists and has been cut by the ghosts for feeding. Zoey instantly gets extremely freaking creepy over this
"And that was my last goad. Heath belonged to me— despite my confusion about the whole blood issue, and despite my feelings for Erik. Heath was mine and no one else was ever, ever going to feed from what was mine"
ZeldaQueen: Like I said before, given the blood drinking equalling sex metaphor, it just sounds like she's saying "How dare you rape him? He's mine for sex!" I mean really, Cast ladies, couldn't you have just left it that the sight of someone she cared about being frightened and hurt made Zoey go all furious?
I might also add that it makes Zoey's ignoring of the red-eyed ghosts when they kidnapped the other guys look a lot more horrible. She doesn't care about them. They aren't her main source of
Long story short, Cast ladies? Please put a little more thought into what you're writing. I beg of you!
Anyway, Zoey goes crashing through the crowd of red-eyed ghosts, who I guess couldn't see or smell her at all. She reaches Heath who looks happy as heck to see her. Zoey, of course, is quite bitchy and comments "just like a guy, he tried to push me behind him". *snarls* Oh yes, how chauvenistic of him to care about your wellbeing! He never saw you in action before, dumbass! For all he knows, you lied to him about having Sue-per powers! There's a difference between dismissing a woman's fighting abilities and making an effort to protect a loved one! Lord!
Zoey continues to be unlikable, treating Heath in a patronizing manner because "he's cute and all, but he is just a human".
Allow me to repeat that.
"he's cute and all, but he is just a human"
Really, Cast ladies, PUT A LITTLE MORE THOUGHT INTO THIS!!!
*shakes head* I am so glad this book is nearly over.
Zoey cuts the duct tape holding Heath's wrists together and shoves him behind her and faces the ghosts. We then get a paragraph dedicated to describing how hideous they all are, which would be all well and good except (A) this book is one huge offender of Beauty Equals Goodness, (B) we've already been told several times how ugly and disgusting these things are, and (C) Zoey describes their ugliness in the most condescending and bitchy manner possible.
Elliot comes forward at this point and we continue to have it hammered into our heads that he's so ugly and horrible and hateful and a whole bunch of other negative adjectives. Zoey summons fire into her hand and tells him "You were a pain in the ass when you were alive, and death hasn't changed anything". She tells this to a guy she saw twice before he died violently and bloodily. Our heroine.
Although I must ask, why go for fire? Why not summon a gust of wind to knock them all over? Or why not bring water down the sewers to sweep them away?
Oh. Right. We must be Overly Dramatic about this. My bad.
Stevie Rae pushes to the front of the group and says that death does change some people. And...this appearance by her is treated as a shocking way to end the chapter, even though we've already seen that she's a ghost.
Whatever. The Cast ladies want to end it there, so let's call it a day
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Back to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-05 11:31 pm (UTC)What was the point of that? No, I mean, what's the point in saying "Oh, I mean Tolkien dwarfs, teehee!" I think it's a well-known tidbit that dwarfs are short and squat no matter who writes them--the Cast ladies could just have easily said "dwarfs" and left it at that, but noooo, we need to get Zoey's "literacy" pounded into our skulls.
The whole bit with "How dare they drink what's mine?" kinda makes me think of Dracula. I wonder if the Cast ladies read that scene (where Dracula forbids the three vampire women from draining Harker because "He's mine and I give you plenty to eat!") and thought it was sweet or romantic or whatever...They have no idea how bad and monstrous Zoey truly sounds here.
Actually, this sounds like a good place to put that spitefic (featuring guest-appearance from Elliot's friend in the first fic):
----
"Death changes people, Zoey," Stevie Rae said coldly, staring at both Zoey and Heath with emotionless eyes. "We learn things about the world we left when we die...We learned how few people truly mourn for us, how easily they abandon our memory--I learned that you, Zoey, are one of those very people." Her voice suddenly turned bitter, and she spat out Zoey's name like it left an awful taste in her mouth.
"What do you mean?" Zoey protested. "Stevie Rae, I'm your friend, I--"
"You are not. You were probably never," Stevie Rae interrupted. She suddenly smiled; it was pleasant at first glance, but there was something icy and sharp underneath. "Zoey dear...did you know that we can sense...certain things? Like your little astral projecting when you dream or have visions about us?" She took Zoey's stunned silence as permission to go on. "Oh yes, we knew you were there...we saw you visit several times, in fact, and at first, I was so sure you'd come for us, try to help me...put us out of our pain and misery." Her gaze suddenly hardened, features darkening. "But you never did. You never came back for us, Zoey, back for me! You never came to help us in the flesh, you just kept having your stupid visions, your stupid dreams and you knew we were there, but you never. Once. Came. To help!" she screeched, looking more monstrous in her heartbroken anger.
Elliot put a hand on her shoulder. "She's not worth it," he whispered. The others nodded their agreements. Their eyes were all trained on Zoey, not Heath--and they were all of betrayal, heartbreak, and pure hatred.
"You showed us your true colors by doing nothing," Stevie Rae continued, calming herself. "And I realized...you only cared for me as your groupie. You never were a real friend...I wonder if you only mourned me when I rejected the change because you were losing a member of your fan-club, rather than a dear friend."
"Stevie Rae, that's not true at all, I--"
"We've had enough..."
"We're starved."
An unfamiliar girl with dyed-red hair (How was that possible? Zoey couldn't help think in the midst of her fear) stepped out, arms folded. "I'll deal with the human--this isn't something for me to take part in. I'd feel too guilty otherwise."
"Thank you, Claire," Elliot and Stevie Rae said together, as the girl (apparently named Claire) pulled Heath away from Zoey. Zoey briefly saw her grabbing the sides of his head, forcing him to stare into her eyes--vampire hypnotism. She vaguely heard the ghosts speaking to each other as they drew closer to her.
"Don't worry, Venus," said one. "Aphrodite won't end this way--she's smarter, a better friend than Zoey here. Once she's able to get away, she'll come for us, come to save us. But for now..."
They descended on Zoey a second later, their own noises covering up her cut-off scream. One couldn't blame them for being noisy. They were hungry.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-10-09 07:31 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 01:30 am (UTC)You know, there is one instance where the point where Zoey being all 'ew, dirty things' could work as an act of bravery: if she had OCD. But, she doesn't have OCD, so she's just a stuck up bitch.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 04:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 04:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 03:45 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 03:27 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 03:49 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 04:29 am (UTC)Also, even in recap form, this moves way slower than a chapter leading up to the climax should. Now is not the time for "geek" references and endless talking scenes! What did pacing ever do to these authors that they abuse it so horribly?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 12:34 pm (UTC)If they honestly think all teenage girls are like that, then they should not be writing for teenage girls.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-06 07:49 pm (UTC)I had people I disliked in high school. Then I graduated and got over it. More than anything in this story, it's the treatment poor Elliot who really sets me off.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 03:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 01:34 pm (UTC)That's just a theory I have.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 12:25 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 04:13 pm (UTC)But, man, Zoey is like the unholy concoction of every unlikable YA or Disney channel teen. If she is 'nerdy' as the writers claim she is, or didn't have a memory of a goldfish, wouldn't she be genre savvy enough that she would've saw this coming?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-07 06:05 pm (UTC)To be fair, if I was in that situation, I would probably burn them with fire too. Mostly because I see zombies my brain would either go "aaaaaahzombiesrunrundon'teatmepleaseaaah" or "HOLY SHIT BURN THEM WITH FIRE". Oh course I would've brought at least some heavily armed police with me, so I guess Zoey and I's thought processes aren't really the same (thank god).
But, man, Zoey is like the unholy concoction of every unlikable YA or Disney channel teen. If she is 'nerdy' as the writers claim she is, or didn't have a memory of a goldfish, wouldn't she be genre savvy enough that she would've saw this coming?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-09-09 04:01 am (UTC)I think the heroine of the movie Legend showed more intelligence and genre savvy-ness than Zoey, and that's saying something.
(no subject)
Date: 2012-03-27 02:15 am (UTC)Not necessarily. I would do anything if my mom was in danger, but if that involved going into the sewers, or even just pulling open a rusty grate (I clearly watch too much Supernatural), you can bet I would have a little freak out about that first. One of the many terrible things about having phobias is that they don't go away at convenient moments. Even if you work past them, even at that moment, you're still going to be worried about them.