Marked: Chapter 29
Mar. 11th, 2011 11:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Here we go, the last chapter. Just get through this and it'll be over. God help me
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 29
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, this is the last chapter, but it's not going to be pleasant. You know how the climax was crammed into the last chapter? This entire chapter is both the falling action and the resolution of the story. Not only that, but it's pretty much made of up Zoey getting her ass kissed. Ready? Let's go!
After randomly showing up, Neferet heals Heath and Erik. She verbally pats Erik on the head for fulfilling the Stereotypical Male Vampire Duties of warrior and protector and Zoey mentally goes on about how she's so proud of him as well. And yes, I know that it's normal to feel proud of a loved one when they do something brave, but given how she's just gone on about his looks and so on, it just reads like more of that nasty trophy boyfriend crap. Oh, and Neferet somehow erases Heath's memory of the events of the evening, saying that he will just remember getting drunk and then getting lose looking for his "ex-almost-girlfriend". No, I have no idea how she can do that. Her powers are attracting cats and healing, and there's been no hints that all vampires can wipe memories.
Neferet turns to Aphrodite next, telling her that she knew how shallow and selfish the girl was and that she hoped that it would have gone away with age. I...what? *blinks* Look, I can understand hoping that she'd grow out of it if her problem was getting hammered and breaking curfew. Somehow, I get the feeling that draining blood from fledglings and summoning demons is behavior that needs to be addressed. Oh, and Zoey totally misses the fact that Neferet knew all of what Aphrodite was up to AND STILL DID NOTHING TO INTERVENE! MY GOD, SHE'S STUPID!
I'm sorry.
So yeah, Neferet yoinks Aphrodite's Special High Priestess Necklace and gives it to Zoey. This is clearly supposed to be a symbolic stripping of power, and I'm sure would be much more impressive the the necklace was mentioned more than once or twice, so the symbolism of it was actually addressed. Anyway, the upshot is that Zoey is now the new High Priestess-in-training and head of the Dark Daughters and Sons, based on...goddess-given gifts. Really. Because she was hand chosen by a deity, and not because of hard work or training. And yes, they try to make us believe that her compassion and wisdom also factored in there. That just made me laugh until my ribs ached.
Neferet and all of the Dark Daughters and Sons then give the Vampire Salute of Respect, because Zoey bows to no one (yes, really, that's what this all reads like). We're beaten over the head, for no reason, with how Zoey is so confused because Neferet is being so nice, showering her with gifts and power and affection, so why in the world would she ever think hiding something from her could be a good thing?
You idiot.
Everyone starts cheering for Zoey, and all I can think of is that scene in A Christmas Story, where Ralphie images that he got the best grade in the class on his theme. Zoey goes on about how insincere and fake the Dark Daughters and Sons are in congratulating her, because they had just been cheering on Aphrodite, after all. They all head back to the school and she and Damien, Stevie Rae, the Twins, and Erik all fall to the back to walk together. I'm sure that this is supposed to show how strong their friendship is, and how Zoey values the friends who supported her more than the superficial friends that she got. This would probably carry more weight if she had known these "real friends" for more than four days!
As they walk, Zoey starts to tell Stevie Rae that she shouldn't have volunteered to be the refrigerator, because that was the only way to find out where Aphrodite was set up and thus come to the rescue. Aphrodite must be a terrible planner, getting her refrigerator an hour or so before the actual ceremony and choosing someone who obviously has close connections to Zoey. Anyway, Stevie Rae starts to get all upset and nearly cry because ohes teh noes, Zoey might be disapproving. Zoey finishes her sentence though, and says that while Stevie Rae shouldn't have done it, she (Zoey) is glad Stevie Rae did.
They all have a group hug, and there's some stupid jokes about how happy Damien is to be group-hugging with Erik because Damien's gay, in case you forgot. Zoey and Erik have a one-on-one hug and then make out, and I can just hear the sappy orchestra music swelling. And then Nala shows up, for no reason at all. I have to ask, did that cat serve any purpose to the story?
Just when all seems at peace with the world, Aphrodite shows up. And I'm sorry to drop off such a long quote but...you'll see
"'You might have won tonight, but this isn't over,' she told me. She made me feel really tired.
'I wasn't trying to 'win' anything. I was just trying to make things right.'
'And that's what you think you did?' Her eyes darted nervously back and forth from me to the path that led to the gazebo, as if someone had followed her. 'You don't really know what happened here tonight. You were just being used—we were all just being used. We're puppets, that's all we are.' She angrily wiped at her face and I realized she was crying.
'Aphrodite, it doesn't have to be like this between us,' I said softly.
'Yes it does!' she snapped. 'It's the parts we're supposed to play. You'll see…you'll see.…' Aphrodite started to walk away.
A thought drifted unexpectedly from my memory. It was of Aphrodite, during her vision. As if it was happening again, I could hear her say, They're dead! No. No. That can't be! Not right. No. Not natural! I don't understand…I don't…You…you know. Her scream of terror echoed eerily through my mind. I thought of Elizabeth…of Elliott…the fact that they had appeared to me. Too much of what she said made sense.
"Aphrodite, wait!" She looked over her shoulder at me. 'The vision you had today in Neferet's office, what was it really about?'
Slowly, she shook her head. 'It's only beginning. It's going to get much worse.'"
ZeldaQueen: We are on the last page of the book, everything should be resolved, and we get that dropped on us. Now is when Zoey starts to cotton on to the fact that something weird might be going on. Now is when she actually notices some connection between the prophecy and the ghosts. Now is when the Casts start to suggest that there's more to Aphrodite than being a one-note villainess.
AND IT'S ALL WASTED ON A FUCKING SEQUEL HOOK!!!!!! THAT THERE WAS INTERESTING! FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN WHAT WAS PASSED OFF FOR A "PLOT" HERE! AND NO, DON'T TELL ME IT'S SETUP FOR A SEQUEL! THAT'S JUST LAZY AND SLOPPY!
Bah. You know what? It's over! It's done. I wash my hands of this complete and utter nonsense!
Tune in for my final thoughts, coming up soon
----------------------------------------
Onward to: Blurb
Back to: Chapter 28
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 29
ZeldaQueen: Okay folks, this is the last chapter, but it's not going to be pleasant. You know how the climax was crammed into the last chapter? This entire chapter is both the falling action and the resolution of the story. Not only that, but it's pretty much made of up Zoey getting her ass kissed. Ready? Let's go!
After randomly showing up, Neferet heals Heath and Erik. She verbally pats Erik on the head for fulfilling the Stereotypical Male Vampire Duties of warrior and protector and Zoey mentally goes on about how she's so proud of him as well. And yes, I know that it's normal to feel proud of a loved one when they do something brave, but given how she's just gone on about his looks and so on, it just reads like more of that nasty trophy boyfriend crap. Oh, and Neferet somehow erases Heath's memory of the events of the evening, saying that he will just remember getting drunk and then getting lose looking for his "ex-almost-girlfriend". No, I have no idea how she can do that. Her powers are attracting cats and healing, and there's been no hints that all vampires can wipe memories.
Neferet turns to Aphrodite next, telling her that she knew how shallow and selfish the girl was and that she hoped that it would have gone away with age. I...what? *blinks* Look, I can understand hoping that she'd grow out of it if her problem was getting hammered and breaking curfew. Somehow, I get the feeling that draining blood from fledglings and summoning demons is behavior that needs to be addressed. Oh, and Zoey totally misses the fact that Neferet knew all of what Aphrodite was up to AND STILL DID NOTHING TO INTERVENE! MY GOD, SHE'S STUPID!
I'm sorry.
So yeah, Neferet yoinks Aphrodite's Special High Priestess Necklace and gives it to Zoey. This is clearly supposed to be a symbolic stripping of power, and I'm sure would be much more impressive the the necklace was mentioned more than once or twice, so the symbolism of it was actually addressed. Anyway, the upshot is that Zoey is now the new High Priestess-in-training and head of the Dark Daughters and Sons, based on...goddess-given gifts. Really. Because she was hand chosen by a deity, and not because of hard work or training. And yes, they try to make us believe that her compassion and wisdom also factored in there. That just made me laugh until my ribs ached.
Neferet and all of the Dark Daughters and Sons then give the Vampire Salute of Respect, because Zoey bows to no one (yes, really, that's what this all reads like). We're beaten over the head, for no reason, with how Zoey is so confused because Neferet is being so nice, showering her with gifts and power and affection, so why in the world would she ever think hiding something from her could be a good thing?
You idiot.
Everyone starts cheering for Zoey, and all I can think of is that scene in A Christmas Story, where Ralphie images that he got the best grade in the class on his theme. Zoey goes on about how insincere and fake the Dark Daughters and Sons are in congratulating her, because they had just been cheering on Aphrodite, after all. They all head back to the school and she and Damien, Stevie Rae, the Twins, and Erik all fall to the back to walk together. I'm sure that this is supposed to show how strong their friendship is, and how Zoey values the friends who supported her more than the superficial friends that she got. This would probably carry more weight if she had known these "real friends" for more than four days!
As they walk, Zoey starts to tell Stevie Rae that she shouldn't have volunteered to be the refrigerator, because that was the only way to find out where Aphrodite was set up and thus come to the rescue. Aphrodite must be a terrible planner, getting her refrigerator an hour or so before the actual ceremony and choosing someone who obviously has close connections to Zoey. Anyway, Stevie Rae starts to get all upset and nearly cry because ohes teh noes, Zoey might be disapproving. Zoey finishes her sentence though, and says that while Stevie Rae shouldn't have done it, she (Zoey) is glad Stevie Rae did.
They all have a group hug, and there's some stupid jokes about how happy Damien is to be group-hugging with Erik because Damien's gay, in case you forgot. Zoey and Erik have a one-on-one hug and then make out, and I can just hear the sappy orchestra music swelling. And then Nala shows up, for no reason at all. I have to ask, did that cat serve any purpose to the story?
Just when all seems at peace with the world, Aphrodite shows up. And I'm sorry to drop off such a long quote but...you'll see
"'You might have won tonight, but this isn't over,' she told me. She made me feel really tired.
'I wasn't trying to 'win' anything. I was just trying to make things right.'
'And that's what you think you did?' Her eyes darted nervously back and forth from me to the path that led to the gazebo, as if someone had followed her. 'You don't really know what happened here tonight. You were just being used—we were all just being used. We're puppets, that's all we are.' She angrily wiped at her face and I realized she was crying.
'Aphrodite, it doesn't have to be like this between us,' I said softly.
'Yes it does!' she snapped. 'It's the parts we're supposed to play. You'll see…you'll see.…' Aphrodite started to walk away.
A thought drifted unexpectedly from my memory. It was of Aphrodite, during her vision. As if it was happening again, I could hear her say, They're dead! No. No. That can't be! Not right. No. Not natural! I don't understand…I don't…You…you know. Her scream of terror echoed eerily through my mind. I thought of Elizabeth…of Elliott…the fact that they had appeared to me. Too much of what she said made sense.
"Aphrodite, wait!" She looked over her shoulder at me. 'The vision you had today in Neferet's office, what was it really about?'
Slowly, she shook her head. 'It's only beginning. It's going to get much worse.'"
ZeldaQueen: We are on the last page of the book, everything should be resolved, and we get that dropped on us. Now is when Zoey starts to cotton on to the fact that something weird might be going on. Now is when she actually notices some connection between the prophecy and the ghosts. Now is when the Casts start to suggest that there's more to Aphrodite than being a one-note villainess.
AND IT'S ALL WASTED ON A FUCKING SEQUEL HOOK!!!!!! THAT THERE WAS INTERESTING! FAR MORE INTERESTING THAN WHAT WAS PASSED OFF FOR A "PLOT" HERE! AND NO, DON'T TELL ME IT'S SETUP FOR A SEQUEL! THAT'S JUST LAZY AND SLOPPY!
Bah. You know what? It's over! It's done. I wash my hands of this complete and utter nonsense!
Tune in for my final thoughts, coming up soon
----------------------------------------
Onward to: Blurb
Back to: Chapter 28
Back to: Table of Contents
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 05:34 am (UTC)...the kid who sat there and rolled her eyes when someone fucking died and completely ignored two fucking ghosts running around the school trying their damndest to rip into people?
*coughcough*BULLSHIT*coughcough*
Terrible cold, this. Must be the last of the winter weather.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 05:39 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 05:44 am (UTC)*spots Buffy Season 2 DVDS* Ooh, doctor, I do believe I feel a recovery coming on.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 06:17 am (UTC)But I suppose if we took the "become queen bee" plot the book ran with for the last half there, you might could argue there's a resolution. Except that still sucked because Zoey just used her Sue powers to bring it about without a hitch. And even then, it still doesn't make ignoring the much bigger plot forming in the background alright. *rubs forehead* I know the older Cast is supposed to be a professional author, but this is seriously poor storytelling.
In other news...I heard they're making a movie out of this? I need to double-check. I'm hoping it's a Disney Channel movie just to make me laugh with glee. *cackles*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 10:51 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 01:43 pm (UTC)'After randomly showing up, Neferet heals Heath and Erik. She verbally pats Erik on the head for fulfilling the Stereotypical Male Vampire Duties of warrior and protector'
'I AM THE WARRIOOOOOOR!' :P
'Neferet turns to Aphrodite next, telling her that she new how shallow and selfish the girl was and that she hoped that it would have gone away with age'
What, when Aphrodite turned 16 and a half? :P
'They all have a group hug, and there's some stupid jokes about how happy Damien is to be group-hugging with Erik because Damien's gay, in case you forgot. Zoey and Erik have a one-on-one hug and then make out, and I can just hear the sappy orchestra music swelling. And then Nala shows up, for no reason at all.'
Lucky you reminded me that Damien was gay! :D And I swear to God I heard the music swell in my head, too! :O The cat, meanwhile, probably escaped from the plot just as it went to shit...
''Yes it does!' she snapped. 'It's the parts we're supposed to play. You'll see…you'll see.…' Aphrodite started to walk away''
See, Aphrodite just admitted the obvious! She outright admitted that everyone is just playing a stereotypical role in the story, how meta! :P Oh, and speaking of stereotypes I love the whole 'you'll see! You'll ALL see!' line :P
Yeah, and just as things get interesting, the book ends. The fuck?
Oh, and for the role of Elliot in the movie: the dude out of Superbad maybe, Michael Cera?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 02:01 pm (UTC)I hate those things I really do. *fumes* It's just lazy and revolting and pure marketing rather than actual writing! (In this case, at any rate.:()
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 02:51 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 07:10 pm (UTC)This entire book was stupid! There was no decent plot or characterization or ANYTHING. Jesus, it's a bad rehashing of Mean Girls, only with vampires and goddesses and shit!
And don't get me started on the religion bashing, that just really pissed me off. Stop being twatwaffles, Casts. Seriously. It doesn't make you look "cool" or "hip."
GAH!
*simmers and fumes*
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 08:17 pm (UTC)And what an odd way to beat us over the head for Zoey being kind. She bitches Aphrodite out in front of everyone, laughs at her visions, and plots her downfall after three days of meeting her. But it doesn't have to be like this?!
Also, why is Aphrodite feeling so bad? She obviously knew that **** was going down and Neferet was evil. Why would she want to be in that head position?
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-12 09:41 pm (UTC)Ugh, I am truly sorry for Aphrodite...and sorely tempted to write a spitefic where one of her buddies tells Zoey she knows jack-shit and then suckerpunches her.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 01:12 am (UTC)I'll also say that as a fanfic writer, I've been known for leaving my fanfics open for sequels. The fanfics though, DON'T revolve around planning for a sequel, they plan for an actual plot.
What I would like to see, is a spite fic writing as if Marked were the real fanfic and the spite fic was the original story. It comes from the idea that I've read fanfics very simular to this.
Zoey is like an OC or a canon character that the writer either relates to or is unjustly misunderstood. Aphrodite is like the girl that the writer simply apsolutly loathes, yet there is no real reason for her to hate said person, so said author paints them as a bitch. Actually, it almost feels like one of those fanfics where Zoey took over the heroine possition from Aphrodite.
Actually, I am going over to my Round Robin community to start up one.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:11 am (UTC)"In other news...I heard they're making a movie out of this? I need to double-check. I'm hoping it's a Disney Channel movie just to make me laugh with glee. *cackles*"
Yes, there is a movie. XD Oh I do hope it is! I have no idea though, it's very early in production.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:13 am (UTC)I'm so glad! Hold on to your enthusiasm, there's going to be twelve books in this series.
"See, Aphrodite just admitted the obvious! She outright admitted that everyone is just playing a stereotypical role in the story, how meta! :P Oh, and speaking of stereotypes I love the whole 'you'll see! You'll ALL see!' line :P"
Yes, I'd like to think that Aphrodite knows what a terrible book she's stuck in. Poor girl!
"Oh, and for the role of Elliot in the movie: the dude out of Superbad maybe, Michael Cera?"
I dunno, Cera has that sweet, innocent look to him. Superbad seems like the place to look for ideas, though. :P
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:14 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:15 am (UTC)And Ron always seems to know what to say! :D
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:16 am (UTC)I'm sure the Casts were going for the cliched "Good Girl triumphs and dresses down the bully in front of everyone" ending. Like you said though, it kind of loses the heroic value when the "bully" is a girl who's been having horrible visions.
Best I can tell, Zoey becoming High Priestess-in-training is another milestone on the path to that Horrific Future she's been seeing.
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:17 am (UTC)If you write that, please let me know! :)
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 03:18 am (UTC)That's actually a very cool idea! It sounds very interesting. ^^
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 04:00 am (UTC)Yeah, you have kind of a point there. And I didn't wanna put Emma Stone's name forward for any role in this shit fest 'cos I actually like her and Zombieland rules :D
(no subject)
Date: 2011-03-13 07:23 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-08 07:56 am (UTC)Hell even flat out mentioning there is more to the story is fine-
As long as you give it a real climax so the people reading the book have a sense of accomplishment!
It's stupid to end a book on a freakin' sequel hook that sounds like a scene from a movie! Wait; did they think they where getting a movie deal or something!?
How about some subtlety!?
Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtlety Subtl- [brain explodes!]
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-08 11:30 pm (UTC)This entire thing reads like a chick flick made into a movie, it could be that.
"How about some subtlety!?"
Nonsense, that's asking far too much of them. :P
Ranty again… now half asleep…
Date: 2014-06-07 07:21 am (UTC)Alright, first: I am no expert on proper novel-making (if thats a term I can use) but holy shit. If the authors had just cut out all the padding, they could probably fit the second book, (also without padding!) along with maybe the third* into ONE book if they just GOT TO THE POINT!!
Also: … Am I the only one who thinks every character in this book got the short end of the stick? (in regards to character development?) Hell, take Zoey for example. She could have just started out as the bitchy, unlikable protagonist, but over time she, OMG, undergoes some serious character development and becomes reasonable, mature, and actually worthy of being marked by Nyx? (and perhaps Nyx foresaw this and marked her beforehand??) I mean, characters such as Elliot and Aphrodite had already been expanded upon, but one could only wonder about everyone else.
But I don't know, that's just me speculating.
*Admittedly I rely on your sporkings
and Tv Tropes</> for info on these books, so I'm not sure if the third book actually reads like how a second book is supposed to read, if that makes any sense. -_-