Ghosts Of The Abyss - Chapter 1
Feb. 28th, 2011 11:55 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Well folks, I've procrastinated for long enough. Time to slay the two-headed monster that is Gethesemane's Kate Sparrow series. Prepare yourself for canon bastardization that would make Keiran Halcyon shake his head! Marvel as Gethesemane uses her avatar to bash and ignore canon strong women, while expecting us to believe that her own is better! Vomit in disgust as Calypso makes a complete 180 in her characterization in the name of the Suethor's perverse sexual lust!
So yeah, it goes without saying that drinking can only help at this point.![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
watson8888 has kindly provided us with a drinking game for this fic. Chug a beverage of your choice when:
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Sequel to Heart of the Sea. Katherine must rescue Jack from Davy Jones's Locker and break the goddess Calypso's curse as the freedom of all pirates is threatened and the end begins.
Complete - Pirates of the Caribbean - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 30,334 - Reviews: 78 - Updated: 2-25-08 - Published: 9-5-06
ZeldaQueen: And have lots of sex along the way. Did we mention that? Because the plot is often forgotten in favor of it.
Oh, and don't get too hopeful. She doesn't mean that they're breaking the curse binding Calypso. No, Calypso is an evil bitch who has cast a curse out of jealousy. Three guesses as to who it is on
Chapter 1
I wish that I could have pushed the vision from my mind. I could hear the roar of the beast, combined with my screams and cries, echoing in my mind. The sea no longer felt safe and no longer felt as free as I had once thought. I felt a prisoner in my own solitude.
ZeldaQueen: *pulls out the world's tiniest violin* Bah. Gethesemane's wasting no time in getting started, I see
I watched the glimmering of my wedding ring, with the sparkle of the diamond in the center. It was my only tie to reality, and my only tie to the man I loved. He had gone...and left me here to grieve for that which we had only just begun to mend. Our past together had been broken by betrayal and lies, yet we found one another again with the intention of rectifying our relationship. All of that had been for naught.
ZeldaQueen: Ah, and what wangsting would be complete without that freaky "MINEMINEMINE MY HUSBAND MY PRECIOUS" attitude that Gethesemane's Sues all have for the lust objects of choice? Even in this time of...erm, mourning, we must be reminded that Kate did succeed in laying claim to Jack's balls, and now has him pinned to her side
*shakes head and starts to play said violin*
Tia Dalma had allowed me to stay with her for a time while I recovered from the shock, but could I recover from the heartache? From the coldness, the numbing darkness that swirled in my heart?
ZeldaQueen: You want to ham it up a little more, Bella Swan?
And I love how the Sue has no problem with mooching off of some lady she's met once, swooning on the sofa, even though she's supposed to be this brave pirate warrior who is oh-so-active. I mean, Elizabeth, Will, and everyone else set off almost immediately to save Jack
How could she know how I felt?
ZeldaQueen: Okay bitch, that was just spiteful.
Spoilers, folks. Tia Dalma's going to be going through a rather nasty bout of character derailment, seeing as the Suethor has found out what her canon backstory is. Given said canon backstory and how eager the Sue is to both demonize Calypso and claim Davy Jone's slimy fish junk in the name of Suedom, that's a particularly vile thing to say
How could I even describe how I felt? We had been married for less than a month, and I found myself widowed. To die at sea was never a fate that I had wanted...for either of us.
ZeldaQueen: So that's why you both totally were pirates, which meant a life of sailing on the fucking sea and putting your lives at stake constantly. Hurp durp!
I rose from my bed, unable to sleep, and walked down the stairs, cautious not to disturb any sleeping creatures.
ZeldaQueen: Given that descriptor, I'm going to determine that there are Night Things hanging around, and that they're going to eat her
I walked out onto the small front balcony of the shack that overlooked the bayou. The entire bayou, draped with a thick mantle of mist, was silent. Even in the warmth of the Caribbean night, I shivered from the cold inside. Moonlight streamed into the bayou through tiny openings in the trees, dancing lightly on the mist.
ZeldaQueen: *sings* And all I see is him and me, forever and forever!
Only days before the bayou had been filled with the flickering light of candles, with mourners standing in the water, small streams of tears on their faces sparkling in the light of the flame. They had gazed at me sympathetically and respectfully, offering silent condolences as I glided past them in the small boat.
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "Yes, bow your heads and pay me your respects, peons!"
Their vigil had been a way to honor him, yet to see those tears made my own flow more freely.
ZeldaQueen: Dear lord, SHUT UP!
And that same river of tears was flowing down my cheeks now as I watched fireflies dance above the water.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, how I wish it was Whedon's Firefly. Then, we'd get Simon staring at Kate, amazed at how utterly selfish a person could be, Kaylee bewildered at what a bitch Kate is, Jayne trying to jump her (and she'd probably accept), Zoe, Mal, and Inara just rolling their eyes, and River kicking the bitch into the bayou with her kung-fu skills. Because, of course, River can use her psychic powers to track down Sues
How I wished I could be as carefree as they were, to never feel the pain of loss again, to forget everything. I knew I could never forget that day...or the man I loved.
ZeldaQueen: She'll never love anyone butJareth David Bowie Prince Caspian Ben Barnes Sweeney Todd Bill Nighly Ansem Gerard Butler the Phantom of the Opera Davy Jones herself Jack Sparrow!
"You have not slept in days."
I turned, and found Tia Dalma standing in the doorway, her eyes fixed upon me with concern.
ZeldaQueen: That sounds...squicky.
And I like to think that she's only concerned about how sleepy Kate is so she can best figure out how to use her voodoo to kill her. Alas, we know that it's because everyone is fixated on Kate. You know, unlike those other canon losers, who also were grieving \~/
"And yet you wonder why?" I spat.
She shook her head. "I never wonder why. You're still in pain because you love him."
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Just as I am in pain because a Mary Sue is trying to steal my Davy Jones away" *pulls out spork and begins to advance menacingly*
"Of course I love him," I answered, my voice cold. "Otherwise I couldn't have given a damn if he would've been dragged down to the depths."
ZeldaQueen: Repeating myself from Heart of the Sea, but that just makes so much sense! If it's not true love, you don't give a crap if someone dies or not! Go gargle a cactus, Gethesemane
She approached me as I turned from her, concealing in vain a fresh river of tears. I felt her lay a hand on my shoulder.
ZeldaQueen: She then performed the Vulcan Neck Pinch. While the Sue was unconscious, she tossed the fetid creature into the murky waters
"You are stronger than you know, Katherine," she said softly. "You can save him."
ZeldaQueen: She's apparently stronger than the readers know as well, because fuck all if I've seen the slightest hint of her having any sort of strength
"He's gone, Tia Dalma!" I screamed. "He's gone! He's dead! You can't bring someone back from the dead!"
ZeldaQueen: Nonsense. That didn't stop Rose Potter and Cedric
"He's not dead. He's still alive, I know. He's searching for you."
ZeldaQueen: God alone knows why. If I were him, I'd be getting as far away from the Sue as possible
I felt reassured by her words, though I was still hurting. As if sensing my pain, she nodded respectfully.
ZeldaQueen: YES, RESPECTFULLY! IF THESE CHARACTERS AREN'T RIDICULOUSLY EVIL, AND SOMETIMES EVEN IF THEY ARE, THEY'RE JUST BOWING THEIR FUCKING HEADS OVER HOW GREAT KATE'S LOVE FOR JACK WAS!!!
I'm sorry
"No one would ever expect you to heal in only a few days. You're human."
ZeldaQueen: No, no she is not. Not on any conceivable level
She then turned and re-entered the shack, leaving me to ponder my thoughts and her words.
ZeldaQueen: That ought to take awhile.
Wait...that's it? No mention of World's End? I mean, we just jump straight to the quest in the next chapter and...
I don't know why I even care. The sooner I spork this nonsense, the sooner it's done with
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Onward to: Chapter 2
Return to: Table of Contents
So yeah, it goes without saying that drinking can only help at this point.
watson8888 has kindly provided us with a drinking game for this fic. Chug a beverage of your choice when:- The pov switches
- Someone shows up just mention how Jack and Kate are In Luv.
- Kate is captured
- Kate escapes
- Will is mentioned (twice if someone refers to him as “whelp”)
- Elizabeth shows up (twice if she’s jealous of Jack and Kate)
- Tia Dalma remembers to talk in dialect.
- The actual movie plot shows up, only to service Kate. (For example, Elizabeth’s wedding dress floats by, so Jones can see how pretty Kate would look in it.)
- Kate steals someone’s lines/moment.
- And, finally, finish your drink when you just need to stop the pain…
- Tia Dalma's character is derailed from Heart of the Sea, for no reason other than for Gethesemane to avoid canon
- Kate refers to Tia Dalma as "the heathen" (twice, if it's in relation to Kate only being pissed about a personal slight)
- Kate wangsts about having adulterous feelings for Davy Jones (twice if she sins her ass off and continues to act on said feelings)
- Kate and Jack make out or have gratuitous sex, just to flaunt it
- Canon plot points are altered to be all about Kate (For example, the East India Trading Company cares more about catching Kate than killing all pirates)
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sequel to Heart of the Sea. Katherine must rescue Jack from Davy Jones's Locker and break the goddess Calypso's curse as the freedom of all pirates is threatened and the end begins.
Complete - Pirates of the Caribbean - Fiction Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 30 - Words: 30,334 - Reviews: 78 - Updated: 2-25-08 - Published: 9-5-06
ZeldaQueen: And have lots of sex along the way. Did we mention that? Because the plot is often forgotten in favor of it.
Oh, and don't get too hopeful. She doesn't mean that they're breaking the curse binding Calypso. No, Calypso is an evil bitch who has cast a curse out of jealousy. Three guesses as to who it is on
Chapter 1
I wish that I could have pushed the vision from my mind. I could hear the roar of the beast, combined with my screams and cries, echoing in my mind. The sea no longer felt safe and no longer felt as free as I had once thought. I felt a prisoner in my own solitude.
ZeldaQueen: *pulls out the world's tiniest violin* Bah. Gethesemane's wasting no time in getting started, I see
I watched the glimmering of my wedding ring, with the sparkle of the diamond in the center. It was my only tie to reality, and my only tie to the man I loved. He had gone...and left me here to grieve for that which we had only just begun to mend. Our past together had been broken by betrayal and lies, yet we found one another again with the intention of rectifying our relationship. All of that had been for naught.
ZeldaQueen: Ah, and what wangsting would be complete without that freaky "MINEMINEMINE MY HUSBAND MY PRECIOUS" attitude that Gethesemane's Sues all have for the lust objects of choice? Even in this time of...erm, mourning, we must be reminded that Kate did succeed in laying claim to Jack's balls, and now has him pinned to her side
*shakes head and starts to play said violin*
Tia Dalma had allowed me to stay with her for a time while I recovered from the shock, but could I recover from the heartache? From the coldness, the numbing darkness that swirled in my heart?
ZeldaQueen: You want to ham it up a little more, Bella Swan?
And I love how the Sue has no problem with mooching off of some lady she's met once, swooning on the sofa, even though she's supposed to be this brave pirate warrior who is oh-so-active. I mean, Elizabeth, Will, and everyone else set off almost immediately to save Jack
How could she know how I felt?
ZeldaQueen: Okay bitch, that was just spiteful.
Spoilers, folks. Tia Dalma's going to be going through a rather nasty bout of character derailment, seeing as the Suethor has found out what her canon backstory is. Given said canon backstory and how eager the Sue is to both demonize Calypso and claim Davy Jone's slimy fish junk in the name of Suedom, that's a particularly vile thing to say
How could I even describe how I felt? We had been married for less than a month, and I found myself widowed. To die at sea was never a fate that I had wanted...for either of us.
ZeldaQueen: So that's why you both totally were pirates, which meant a life of sailing on the fucking sea and putting your lives at stake constantly. Hurp durp!
I rose from my bed, unable to sleep, and walked down the stairs, cautious not to disturb any sleeping creatures.
ZeldaQueen: Given that descriptor, I'm going to determine that there are Night Things hanging around, and that they're going to eat her
I walked out onto the small front balcony of the shack that overlooked the bayou. The entire bayou, draped with a thick mantle of mist, was silent. Even in the warmth of the Caribbean night, I shivered from the cold inside. Moonlight streamed into the bayou through tiny openings in the trees, dancing lightly on the mist.
ZeldaQueen: *sings* And all I see is him and me, forever and forever!
Only days before the bayou had been filled with the flickering light of candles, with mourners standing in the water, small streams of tears on their faces sparkling in the light of the flame. They had gazed at me sympathetically and respectfully, offering silent condolences as I glided past them in the small boat.
ZeldaQueen: (Kate) "Yes, bow your heads and pay me your respects, peons!"
Their vigil had been a way to honor him, yet to see those tears made my own flow more freely.
ZeldaQueen: Dear lord, SHUT UP!
And that same river of tears was flowing down my cheeks now as I watched fireflies dance above the water.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, how I wish it was Whedon's Firefly. Then, we'd get Simon staring at Kate, amazed at how utterly selfish a person could be, Kaylee bewildered at what a bitch Kate is, Jayne trying to jump her (and she'd probably accept), Zoe, Mal, and Inara just rolling their eyes, and River kicking the bitch into the bayou with her kung-fu skills. Because, of course, River can use her psychic powers to track down Sues
How I wished I could be as carefree as they were, to never feel the pain of loss again, to forget everything. I knew I could never forget that day...or the man I loved.
ZeldaQueen: She'll never love anyone but
"You have not slept in days."
I turned, and found Tia Dalma standing in the doorway, her eyes fixed upon me with concern.
ZeldaQueen: That sounds...squicky.
And I like to think that she's only concerned about how sleepy Kate is so she can best figure out how to use her voodoo to kill her. Alas, we know that it's because everyone is fixated on Kate. You know, unlike those other canon losers, who also were grieving \~/
"And yet you wonder why?" I spat.
She shook her head. "I never wonder why. You're still in pain because you love him."
ZeldaQueen: (Tia Dalma) "Just as I am in pain because a Mary Sue is trying to steal my Davy Jones away" *pulls out spork and begins to advance menacingly*
"Of course I love him," I answered, my voice cold. "Otherwise I couldn't have given a damn if he would've been dragged down to the depths."
ZeldaQueen: Repeating myself from Heart of the Sea, but that just makes so much sense! If it's not true love, you don't give a crap if someone dies or not! Go gargle a cactus, Gethesemane
She approached me as I turned from her, concealing in vain a fresh river of tears. I felt her lay a hand on my shoulder.
ZeldaQueen: She then performed the Vulcan Neck Pinch. While the Sue was unconscious, she tossed the fetid creature into the murky waters
"You are stronger than you know, Katherine," she said softly. "You can save him."
ZeldaQueen: She's apparently stronger than the readers know as well, because fuck all if I've seen the slightest hint of her having any sort of strength
"He's gone, Tia Dalma!" I screamed. "He's gone! He's dead! You can't bring someone back from the dead!"
ZeldaQueen: Nonsense. That didn't stop Rose Potter and Cedric
"He's not dead. He's still alive, I know. He's searching for you."
ZeldaQueen: God alone knows why. If I were him, I'd be getting as far away from the Sue as possible
I felt reassured by her words, though I was still hurting. As if sensing my pain, she nodded respectfully.
ZeldaQueen: YES, RESPECTFULLY! IF THESE CHARACTERS AREN'T RIDICULOUSLY EVIL, AND SOMETIMES EVEN IF THEY ARE, THEY'RE JUST BOWING THEIR FUCKING HEADS OVER HOW GREAT KATE'S LOVE FOR JACK WAS!!!
I'm sorry
"No one would ever expect you to heal in only a few days. You're human."
ZeldaQueen: No, no she is not. Not on any conceivable level
She then turned and re-entered the shack, leaving me to ponder my thoughts and her words.
ZeldaQueen: That ought to take awhile.
Wait...that's it? No mention of World's End? I mean, we just jump straight to the quest in the next chapter and...
I don't know why I even care. The sooner I spork this nonsense, the sooner it's done with
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 2
Return to: Table of Contents