Ah, and I bet a rant is going to be along side it. Just one of those scenes that make you go "WTH?", I'm betting.
Honestly, if the story was at least half-way exciting I wouldn't mind remembering anything. I can only imagine the hell you're going through in trying to be informative and make this entertaining to the readers at the same time, and the effort is appreciated.
Stories like this turn people off from reading first person PoV stories. Between that and third person PoV, most readers would choose the latter. Thing is, first person PoV can be exciting if done right. Have the character paint the scenery, give a little info about somebody without going into one long infodump about their appearance, or even describe things with a vague touch allowing the imagination to wander.
One hour or less and I could do better than these ladies. >_>
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Date: 2011-02-17 03:33 am (UTC)Honestly, if the story was at least half-way exciting I wouldn't mind remembering anything. I can only imagine the hell you're going through in trying to be informative and make this entertaining to the readers at the same time, and the effort is appreciated.
Stories like this turn people off from reading first person PoV stories. Between that and third person PoV, most readers would choose the latter. Thing is, first person PoV can be exciting if done right. Have the character paint the scenery, give a little info about somebody without going into one long infodump about their appearance, or even describe things with a vague touch allowing the imagination to wander.
One hour or less and I could do better than these ladies. >_>