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zelda_queen ZeldaQueen: Hey, everyone! Before we begin, just wanted to say that I started a TV Tropes page for Hogwarts Exposed! Feel free to add to the WTF-ery. Here's praying I didn't do something wrong and the site doesn't delete it
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 42: Que Sera, Sera
ZeldaQueen: I'm not going to lie, everyone. This chapter is boring. It's just another one of those ones where everyone sits and talks about pointless stuff and hugs each other and wangsts in ways that are supposed to make us think that they care about each other, but it's so boring and over-the-top that it's impossible to care.
It's also a pretty infuriating chapter, given that most of the sitting and talking is used by the suethor as a mouthpiece for the stupid political views that she's been shoehorning into this fic, the kind that blatantly go against the series in general. Also infuriating is that it's really clear that she's using the Zabinis and Malfoys as Weasley knock-offs, except richer and thus So Much Better.
So, let's take a deep breath and get through this.
Alrighty. After the attack at the campsite and all that followed, everyone is packed up and sent home. When they get back, Sirius and Eren are all gushy and clingy over Dante and the kids and keep hugging and kissing them and fussing over them. I got that through in one sentence. The suethor takes roughly sixteen paragraphs. And to make matters worse, it's a blatant ripping off of canon, when Mrs. Weasley cries and clings to everyone. Suethor, keep your paws off of Mrs. Weasley!
We then are treated to an extensive description of how the Death Eater attack is all over the news and all of the theories behind it. Again, this is just ripping off canon, except that the suethor tries to make it more impressive by making out like it's an international bru-ha-ha. Also, the Ministry is bashed as people blame them for not catching the attackers but having kept Sirius in jail. We're going to keep hearing about this, aren't we?
Tom Riddle, meanwhile, is wangsting like mad because he feels horribly, horribly guilty about this all. Not horribly guilty enough to go to Dumbledore or someone with the power to do something, though. Instead, he keeps doing this mysterious research, which also involves retrieving books from the Black family home. *stares* Wait, so the suethor is acknowledging that they have Grimmauld Place and still gave Sirius that stupid house? GAH!!!
We jump to the day when school starts. Sirius is having an argument over Floo with the "Mind Healer" (read, magic psychiatrist ) over his mother. Apparently the Mind Healer is insisting that his problems stem from him disliking his mother and not over the fact that his mother was horrid and spiteful. Holly and Sirius go on about how stupid the treatments are, and I get the feeling that the suethor isn't fond of psychiatrists.
There's some sappy "bonding", where Sirius calls Holly "little serpent" and hugs her and tells her not to do anything he wouldn't while she's away. She replies with "But where would I ever find a man willing to wear a chicken suit and stilettos?" Give a point for a funny line.
She gets on the train and sits in a compartment with her stupid toadies and gets all hot and flushed when Theo looks at her. Why's this, you may be wondering. Well, remember the last story arc, when he said he wanted to talk to her about something on the train ride home? It was this
"Regardless, the girl had to fight the urge to blush as he grinned at her, clearly remembering an incident at the very end of the previous school year. After all, it wasn't every day that she received a love confession from one of her closest friends, much less on the train ride home and only days after she had cleared her wrongfully imprisoned godfather. The memory alone of the gleam in his eyes and the kiss to her cheek were enough to make her skin heat up. Especially when she recalled the apology for springing this on her and his urge to 'think about it.'"
ZeldaQueen: You know, one would think that something like that would be a fairly good chunk of character development.
SO, SUETHOR, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ONLY HEARING ABOUT IT SECONDHAND AND SUMMARIZED LIKE THAT? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY DESCRIBE ANYTHING AT ALL???
*sighs* Anyway, everyone notices that Holly's blushing at the memory and wonders if she's sick and start fussing accordingly. Blaise shows up and pries them off of her and Malfoy spills the beans about the Triwizard Tournament. Really. He tells them all about it. And of course, they already know about the other times it was held, because they're That Smart. And there's this charming bit
"Draco shook his head and gave a quick summary. It sounded stupid and dangerous. Not to mention deadly. Holly honestly couldn't see why anyone would ever want to enter. No matter how much they paid her. It was a bit like those foolish Muggle game shows, only with death as one of the options. Further evidence that human stupidity was universal. The girl was even more unimpressed when she learned that there would be no Quidditch. None whatsoever. Positively scandalous"
ZeldaQueen: Right, so Malfoy has found out that they're holding the tournament but apparently missed about the safety measures? And right, Holly, they only win a lot of gold and fame. Can't imagine why anyone would want to do it! Bah. We all know that this is just clumsy foreshadowing for what's to come. Probably trying to make Holly look humble, as well. "Oh, she didn't want to enter, unlike that loser Harry!"
And you can keep repeating about how much she loves Quidditch, suethor. If you tell and don't show, I'm not going to believe it.
Luna guesses that they're holding the tournament to build international ties, especially with the United States and Japan, who apparently have far superior governments than any in Europe, with no blood status bias. Right. Hard hats on, everyone. We're entering the author tract here.
Apparently in the United States, magic is allowed to be practiced freely in front of Muggles and that Muggles in on the secret can hold office in the wizarding government. Vampires, Veela, and other sapient, magical creature can as well, except for Dementors, because they're evil and aren't even allowed in the country. Yes, really. Also, kids practice magic openly and abusing House Elves is a felony. The Elves also can leave their masters whenever and go to new families.
*scratches head* Apparently the suethor missed that most House Elves don't want to leave their masters. Dobby was an exception. And stop acting like this is all Europe-specific! The whole treatment of House Elves bit was supposed to be commentary on the characters themselves, not the frigging government!
Also, it seems that Japan, Australia, Canada, and South America are like that. Yes, it's not like any of the mentioned countries haven't had their share of political corruption or racism. No, I'm not saying they're bad, but they certainly aren't the Mary Sueopias they're being made out to be! Just because we don't hear about them in the series doesn't mean that they're perfect!
Holly asks how those countries deal with Mind Magic and Gavin says that it's treated like every other kind of magic, perfectly fine so long as it isn't used to hurt people. I still have no idea why it's considered bad to have it in England. And given how Holly cheerfully romps through people's heads, yeah she'd still have problems.
Pansy starts to go on about how England could stand to be more like that and then starts to go on about the Good Old Days, particularly the fifties, when Hogwarts had more electives. "Art, foreign languages, enchanting, healing, duelling". Wouldn't Ancient Runes count as a foreign language? What's "enchanting" and how is it different than other magic? Who's to say they don't teach healing? The Healers have to get their training from somewhere! And they did teach dueling, but it didn't turn out so well! Also, apparently Voldemort picked off most of the donors for Hogwarts. Because it's not like he had nothing better to do than make sure Hogwarts didn't get a fine arts program.
There's some morbid talk about how many people died in the war and they spare a moment of reflection before going back to Happytime. We jump ahead to them getting to Hogwarts, and the suethor rips off the arrival of Denis Creevey by telling us that Autumn and Gavin both have younger brothers who are starting school this year. Also, Luna sits at the Slytherin table instead of Ravenclaw. *sourly* Why doesn't the suethor just have her change houses and be done with it?
The other students note that there's no one sitting as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Holly tells them that it's Mad-Eye Moody, because suspense isn't allowed here. They all start going on about how amazing he is. They bring up their bad luck with the previous teachers and Holly starts going on about how Lupin was tossed out of a shop in Diagon Alley and had rocks thrown at him. Blaise takes her hand under the table. Considering how he went on about Lupin in the previous story arc, I'm appalled. And no, I'm not getting over that.
The First Years come in and McGonagall is bashed, first by not acknowledging how cold and wet they are and then by mispronouncing a name (like that ever happened). Gavin's younger brother is sorted into Gryffindor and Autumn's is sorted into Hufflepuff. Oh, and her brother's name is Indian. Indian Summers. DIE!
The food shows up and Holly goes on about how it's not as good as what she gets at Sirius's place. Little brat. There's also a mention of Hermione's protest to the House Elves being slave labor, though it's described like she's throwing a full-on tantrum. Moody makes his appearance and the Tournament is announced and it all goes by really fast because the suethor can't detail plot to save her life. Holly is cheered by the safety measures, but has no desire to enter because "She was already famous enough, and if Sirius was to be believed, she definitely didn't need the thousand Galleons prize money. Prankster though he might have been, James Potter had also been adept at managing his funds and had invested quite shrewdly in a number of Muggle ventures." Erm, suethor? James Potter had a flipping huge inheritance. He didn't invest in anything!
And you want to have Holly scream a little louder "I'M ALREADY FILTHY RICH AND FAMOUS! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR TOURNAMENT, I'M NOT INTERESTED!"?
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Que Sera, Sera: Whatever will be, will be.
ZeldaQueen: Which has what to do with the chapter? IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE TITLES JUST BECAUSE THEY SOUND NICE, WHY DO YOU KEEP TRANSLATING THEM? IT'S POINTLESS!!!
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Onward to: Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
Back to: Chapter 41: Aegri Somnia
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Chapter 42: Que Sera, Sera
ZeldaQueen: I'm not going to lie, everyone. This chapter is boring. It's just another one of those ones where everyone sits and talks about pointless stuff and hugs each other and wangsts in ways that are supposed to make us think that they care about each other, but it's so boring and over-the-top that it's impossible to care.
It's also a pretty infuriating chapter, given that most of the sitting and talking is used by the suethor as a mouthpiece for the stupid political views that she's been shoehorning into this fic, the kind that blatantly go against the series in general. Also infuriating is that it's really clear that she's using the Zabinis and Malfoys as Weasley knock-offs, except richer and thus So Much Better.
So, let's take a deep breath and get through this.
Alrighty. After the attack at the campsite and all that followed, everyone is packed up and sent home. When they get back, Sirius and Eren are all gushy and clingy over Dante and the kids and keep hugging and kissing them and fussing over them. I got that through in one sentence. The suethor takes roughly sixteen paragraphs. And to make matters worse, it's a blatant ripping off of canon, when Mrs. Weasley cries and clings to everyone. Suethor, keep your paws off of Mrs. Weasley!
We then are treated to an extensive description of how the Death Eater attack is all over the news and all of the theories behind it. Again, this is just ripping off canon, except that the suethor tries to make it more impressive by making out like it's an international bru-ha-ha. Also, the Ministry is bashed as people blame them for not catching the attackers but having kept Sirius in jail. We're going to keep hearing about this, aren't we?
Tom Riddle, meanwhile, is wangsting like mad because he feels horribly, horribly guilty about this all. Not horribly guilty enough to go to Dumbledore or someone with the power to do something, though. Instead, he keeps doing this mysterious research, which also involves retrieving books from the Black family home. *stares* Wait, so the suethor is acknowledging that they have Grimmauld Place and still gave Sirius that stupid house? GAH!!!
We jump to the day when school starts. Sirius is having an argument over Floo with the "Mind Healer" (read, magic psychiatrist ) over his mother. Apparently the Mind Healer is insisting that his problems stem from him disliking his mother and not over the fact that his mother was horrid and spiteful. Holly and Sirius go on about how stupid the treatments are, and I get the feeling that the suethor isn't fond of psychiatrists.
There's some sappy "bonding", where Sirius calls Holly "little serpent" and hugs her and tells her not to do anything he wouldn't while she's away. She replies with "But where would I ever find a man willing to wear a chicken suit and stilettos?" Give a point for a funny line.
She gets on the train and sits in a compartment with her stupid toadies and gets all hot and flushed when Theo looks at her. Why's this, you may be wondering. Well, remember the last story arc, when he said he wanted to talk to her about something on the train ride home? It was this
"Regardless, the girl had to fight the urge to blush as he grinned at her, clearly remembering an incident at the very end of the previous school year. After all, it wasn't every day that she received a love confession from one of her closest friends, much less on the train ride home and only days after she had cleared her wrongfully imprisoned godfather. The memory alone of the gleam in his eyes and the kiss to her cheek were enough to make her skin heat up. Especially when she recalled the apology for springing this on her and his urge to 'think about it.'"
ZeldaQueen: You know, one would think that something like that would be a fairly good chunk of character development.
SO, SUETHOR, WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ONLY HEARING ABOUT IT SECONDHAND AND SUMMARIZED LIKE THAT? CAN'T YOU BE BOTHERED TO ACTUALLY DESCRIBE ANYTHING AT ALL???
*sighs* Anyway, everyone notices that Holly's blushing at the memory and wonders if she's sick and start fussing accordingly. Blaise shows up and pries them off of her and Malfoy spills the beans about the Triwizard Tournament. Really. He tells them all about it. And of course, they already know about the other times it was held, because they're That Smart. And there's this charming bit
"Draco shook his head and gave a quick summary. It sounded stupid and dangerous. Not to mention deadly. Holly honestly couldn't see why anyone would ever want to enter. No matter how much they paid her. It was a bit like those foolish Muggle game shows, only with death as one of the options. Further evidence that human stupidity was universal. The girl was even more unimpressed when she learned that there would be no Quidditch. None whatsoever. Positively scandalous"
ZeldaQueen: Right, so Malfoy has found out that they're holding the tournament but apparently missed about the safety measures? And right, Holly, they only win a lot of gold and fame. Can't imagine why anyone would want to do it! Bah. We all know that this is just clumsy foreshadowing for what's to come. Probably trying to make Holly look humble, as well. "Oh, she didn't want to enter, unlike that loser Harry!"
And you can keep repeating about how much she loves Quidditch, suethor. If you tell and don't show, I'm not going to believe it.
Luna guesses that they're holding the tournament to build international ties, especially with the United States and Japan, who apparently have far superior governments than any in Europe, with no blood status bias. Right. Hard hats on, everyone. We're entering the author tract here.
Apparently in the United States, magic is allowed to be practiced freely in front of Muggles and that Muggles in on the secret can hold office in the wizarding government. Vampires, Veela, and other sapient, magical creature can as well, except for Dementors, because they're evil and aren't even allowed in the country. Yes, really. Also, kids practice magic openly and abusing House Elves is a felony. The Elves also can leave their masters whenever and go to new families.
*scratches head* Apparently the suethor missed that most House Elves don't want to leave their masters. Dobby was an exception. And stop acting like this is all Europe-specific! The whole treatment of House Elves bit was supposed to be commentary on the characters themselves, not the frigging government!
Also, it seems that Japan, Australia, Canada, and South America are like that. Yes, it's not like any of the mentioned countries haven't had their share of political corruption or racism. No, I'm not saying they're bad, but they certainly aren't the Mary Sueopias they're being made out to be! Just because we don't hear about them in the series doesn't mean that they're perfect!
Holly asks how those countries deal with Mind Magic and Gavin says that it's treated like every other kind of magic, perfectly fine so long as it isn't used to hurt people. I still have no idea why it's considered bad to have it in England. And given how Holly cheerfully romps through people's heads, yeah she'd still have problems.
Pansy starts to go on about how England could stand to be more like that and then starts to go on about the Good Old Days, particularly the fifties, when Hogwarts had more electives. "Art, foreign languages, enchanting, healing, duelling". Wouldn't Ancient Runes count as a foreign language? What's "enchanting" and how is it different than other magic? Who's to say they don't teach healing? The Healers have to get their training from somewhere! And they did teach dueling, but it didn't turn out so well! Also, apparently Voldemort picked off most of the donors for Hogwarts. Because it's not like he had nothing better to do than make sure Hogwarts didn't get a fine arts program.
There's some morbid talk about how many people died in the war and they spare a moment of reflection before going back to Happytime. We jump ahead to them getting to Hogwarts, and the suethor rips off the arrival of Denis Creevey by telling us that Autumn and Gavin both have younger brothers who are starting school this year. Also, Luna sits at the Slytherin table instead of Ravenclaw. *sourly* Why doesn't the suethor just have her change houses and be done with it?
The other students note that there's no one sitting as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher and Holly tells them that it's Mad-Eye Moody, because suspense isn't allowed here. They all start going on about how amazing he is. They bring up their bad luck with the previous teachers and Holly starts going on about how Lupin was tossed out of a shop in Diagon Alley and had rocks thrown at him. Blaise takes her hand under the table. Considering how he went on about Lupin in the previous story arc, I'm appalled. And no, I'm not getting over that.
The First Years come in and McGonagall is bashed, first by not acknowledging how cold and wet they are and then by mispronouncing a name (like that ever happened). Gavin's younger brother is sorted into Gryffindor and Autumn's is sorted into Hufflepuff. Oh, and her brother's name is Indian. Indian Summers. DIE!
The food shows up and Holly goes on about how it's not as good as what she gets at Sirius's place. Little brat. There's also a mention of Hermione's protest to the House Elves being slave labor, though it's described like she's throwing a full-on tantrum. Moody makes his appearance and the Tournament is announced and it all goes by really fast because the suethor can't detail plot to save her life. Holly is cheered by the safety measures, but has no desire to enter because "She was already famous enough, and if Sirius was to be believed, she definitely didn't need the thousand Galleons prize money. Prankster though he might have been, James Potter had also been adept at managing his funds and had invested quite shrewdly in a number of Muggle ventures." Erm, suethor? James Potter had a flipping huge inheritance. He didn't invest in anything!
And you want to have Holly scream a little louder "I'M ALREADY FILTHY RICH AND FAMOUS! YOU CAN KEEP YOUR TOURNAMENT, I'M NOT INTERESTED!"?
----------------------------------------------
Que Sera, Sera: Whatever will be, will be.
ZeldaQueen: Which has what to do with the chapter? IF YOU'RE GOING TO USE TITLES JUST BECAUSE THEY SOUND NICE, WHY DO YOU KEEP TRANSLATING THEM? IT'S POINTLESS!!!
AN: Sorry that this chapter was late. I had horrible finals, and my parents totalled their car. They're alright by the way. But we're all really spooked at the moment.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that's fine! Just take all the time you need. In fact, don't ever update again
Finally, Theo's crush was alluded to at the end of third year, but I didn't go into details.
ZeldaQueen: I know! I know because YOU DIDN'T WRITE ANYTHING!!! IF YOU DIDN'T WRITE IT, I THINK IT'S SAFE TO ASSUME YOU DIDN'T GO INTO DETAILS! DID YOU THINK I'D FIGURE THAT YOU WROTE MORE AND CLEVERLY HID IT ELSEWHERE? DO YOU THINK I'M INCAPABLE OF REMEMBERING MORE THAN A CHAPTER BACK? GAH!---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Onward to: Chapter 43: Sine Qua Non
Back to: Chapter 41: Aegri Somnia
Return to: Table of Contents