Breaking Dawn: Chapter 35 - Deadline
Mar. 28th, 2010 01:53 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Right, must be getting near the climax now. What do we have?
Projection Room Voices: Let's see... "Chapter thirty-five, in which there is even more build-up and not much else happens".
ZeldaQueen: Augh, can this plot move any slower?
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 35: Deadline
ZeldaQueen: Something Meyer apparently didn't have, or else this freaking book would have ended sooner!
Well, we dive into action with Bella heading out somewhere and both she and Edward are putting on an oh-so-brave face about her leaving him for any length of time. He uses his daughter as a stress ball more or less and she wonders if he read the odometer on her car and figured out yet that she was keeping a secret from him. She figures that he did figure out that much and surely had deduced by now that whatever she was hiding had to stay safe from Aro, which was why he wasn't demanding (yes, she actually used that word) any explanations.
Right. I'm not sure if I can muster the appropriate reaction. Perhaps someone on our Canon Telecommunicator mailing list can help?
ZeldaQueen: Why thank you, Wolfman! *mails him a steak*
Yes folks, you heard that correctly. Bella is seriously certain that Edward is so suspicious of where she is going that he is checking her odometer. In other words, he's completely monitoring where she's going. And she suspects that the only reason he isn't badgering her and forcing her to tell him where she is going is because this all has to be secret from Aro. Otherwise, he'd be demanding - yes, demanding - that she tell him where she was going. Despite the fact that there's absolutely no reason for him to be suspicious and need to know every tiny detail about her life.
Folks, let's look at this - on one hand, let's say that Bella is the kind of person who has her own secrets. Lots of people do (in fact, I'd wager that everyone does). If that's the case and Edward is such a wonderful husband, shouldn't he respect the fact that she has secrets and not sneak and spy on her to find out every detail? She certainly doesn't know every detail about his life.
On the other hand, let's say that Bella is the sort of person who keeps absolutely no secrets from Edward. She tells him everything. And as weird and kind of frightening as that is, that seems to be how Meyer is painting her relationship. According to Bella, she is a terrible actress and Edward ought to know right off of the bat if she's hiding something. If she normally tells him everything and he suspects that she's keeping a secret, shouldn't he assume that something is just that important and not go nosing around through her possessions and car to find out about it?
Long and short of it? Even if Aro wasn't coming, even if she just wanted to hide from him that she bought him a new shirt, it's still her business if she wants to keep a secret. And the fact that Bella is completely aware of the fact that Edward does those sorts of things to find out what she's doing is just freaky and scary and wrong. It's completely domineering and a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. But of course, this is nothing new. We found out in Twilight that he had no problem breaking into her room and staring at her while she slept. We found out in New Moon that he had no problem telling her what to drink. We found out in Eclipse that he had no problem breaking her car and having Alice kidnap her to keep her from visiting her friend. We found out at the beginning of this book that he most likely broke her car to force her to accept one that he approved of. In other words, Edward Cullen is a controlling bastard and no woman should ever date a man like that. I have to ask Meyer, would you put up with behavior like that from your husband? If your husband told you what to eat, told you if any of your friends were "dangerous", broke your possessions to replace them with ones he liked, or rifted through your personal information to piece together where you were going and what you were doing, would you honestly be alright with that? I doubt it. You say you think Edward is the greatest man ever, but I think that your empty head can't grasp the concept of how frustrating and scary a relationship with him would be. Just like you completely are unaware of how threatening and frightening being stalked really is.
*shakes head* Anyway, moving on. Bella is on her way to pick up the forged documents from J. Jenks. She figures that Alice sent her to his ghetto office as opposed to his respectable one so that she would figure out that he engaged in illegal business. Because of course everyone who works in a ghetto is shady and and does illegitimate work. I still don't know why Alice couldn't have simply written it down for Bella in the first place. *mutters and moves on*
Bella enters the restaurant and we get some wanking over how she's wearing a oyster satin cocktail dress and this make the maître d' gasp. Bella is a bit pleased as "I still wasn't used to being beautiful to everyone rather than just Edward". Um Bella? Did you completely forget how Eric, Ben, Mike, Taylor, and Jacob spent most of this series salivating over you? Did you forget Edward implying that every boy at your old high school was lusting after you on the very first day? And Meyer, don't think I've forgotten how you said that one of her teachers was lusting after her and how her stepdad originally was supposed to have come on to her. If it's one thing Bella has not been short of, it's men wanting to get in her pants. And also, this is apparently a high-class restaurant. I'm sure the maître d' has seen all sorts of fancy clothes. Stop trying to make out like you characters always have the best and fanciest of everything, Meyer. It's really starting to steam my clams.
Jenks shows up and of course comments on how hot Bella is. He also implies that she's a lot more settling to work with than Jasper and Bella wonders what on Earth Jasper has done to the guy. Jenks says that he's worked with Jasper for twenty years and his old partner worked with Jasper for fifteen and that he never changes. Wait what??? Are the vampires supposed to be uber secret or not? According to Midnight Sun, Jasper was perfectly happy to kill Bella so that they wouldn't have their secret exposed. In New Moon they left just because Carlisle was starting to look too young for his age. And now we find out that Jasper has no problem hanging around doing business for this guy for twenty years and making it very obvious that there's something fishy with him? Meyer, consistency is your friend! Embrace it!!!
Bella asks for the documents while taking care to wave around a fat envelope full of bonus money. Jenks gives her the forged stuff which seems to be in order and implies that he'd rather have her act as the Cullen liason than Jasper. Before she leaves, Jenks confesses that there's something he wants to talk to Bella about - as we heard before, he is well aware of the fact that Jacob is not Renesmee's father. It seems that Jenks is under the impression that Bella is kidnapping the kid away from Edward. Quite personally, I think Renesmee ought to be kidnapped away from all of them if she weren't such a disgusting Sue, but whatever. Bella assures him that nothing like that is going on and she'd be perfectly happy for Jasper to be told about all of this.
Bella heads home again using Edward's insane driving skills, turning off her headlights and driving at maximum speed. Bella dear, you still can't defy the laws of physics. Of course she doesn't slide off of the road and get arrested. That would be too much karma. Instead she makes it home alright and we are told that most of the Cullen family cars are gone, which means that the vampire guests are out feeding. Bella only pauses to "cringe" over the thoughts of an unknown and probably very large number of people dying before going inside. Gah!
Well at least we get a brief mention of Kate and Garrett who are "playfully" arguing about the nutritional value of animal blood. It seems that Garrett has taken up vegetarian vampirism himself and is finding it tricky. You know, if Meyer had the brains the nutritional thing could have been a decent reason for why some vampires don't like it - it's not as rich in whatever vitamins or minerals a vampire needs and thus is less satisfying or believed to be unhealthier. And looky there Meyer, you're actually setting up a couple to have a relationship based on common interests! Seriously, they're sharing experiences, they're bonding over Kate teaching Garrett something new, and actually seem to be having fun together. Would it have been too hard to do that with Edward and Bella, Meyer? Apparently so. *sigh*
Since the house is mostly empty - Edward and Renesmee are at the cottage, Jacob is lurking outside of the cottage (which isn't creepy at all), and the rest of the Cullens are out hunting - Bella sneaks into Alice and Jasper's room to pack for the escape that Jacob and Renesmee will surely be making because a fight is inevitable and will certainly be happening. Ow, I think I'm getting a headache from Meyer whacking me over the head with all of this. Can I get some aspirin?
Projection Room Voices: Sure!
ZeldaQueen: Great. *takes some with water* Much better. Bella finds a bag "a small black leather backpack, the kind that was usually used as a purse, little enough that even Renesmee could carry it without looking out of place". She fills with "petty cash", specifically "about twice the yearly income for the average American household". *screams* She also slips in there the fake documents - seriously, how big is this bag? - and comments on how it's insignificant an how she wishes she could help them out more. Bella is sort of struck with a brainwave and realizes that since Alice and Jasper were obviously on the run from Dimitri (BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE RUNNING OFF TO PUT A PLAN INTO ACTION, OH NO!!!) Anyway, Bella figures that if they can kill Dimitri, then there's no reason why Alice and Jasper wouldn't be free to find and help Jacob and Renesmee. Because of this, Bella decides to leave a note saying "RIO DE JANERIO" in the hopes that Alice would foresee it and go there to find Jacob and Renesmee. And maybe that Jacob would see the note himself and figure out he's supposed to be there. Quick question - erm, don't half-vampires and werewolves screw up Alice's ability to have visions? Ah whatever, it's not like we've had our questions answered before. Why start now?
Oh, and Bella hopes that Jacob took Spanish as an elective since he probably wasn't given the chance to learn Portuguese. Two things Meyer - first of all, they don't speak Spanish in Brazil. And my source? The same blog from before. Because it seems that the Portuguese/Spanish thing is a major peeve for the folks of Brazil.
But unbelievably stupid seems to be the rule, not the exception. With Internet wide available these days on the whole world I hoped that foreigners would get it right: We not only DO NOT SPEAK SPANISH or have spanish names. Brazilians tend to have a *huuuuge* prejudice against latin americans that speak spanish. Starting with Argentina, going in lesser degrees to other south american countries like Paraguai, Chile and so forth.
I lived enough to know that people are people, and *I* have friends from many different countries, but this is a fact about Brazil. We were colonized by Portugal and we speak portuguese, other countries were colonized by Spain and speak spanish, and Portugal and Spain were at war over the colonies and yes, we kind of imprinted that hate unto our culture. When you think a brazilian speaks spanish, you make that brazilian want to puke. Simple like that.
ZeldaQueen: You know Meyer, if you would just Google these things you'd probably tread on a lot less toes.
And the second thing? I do believe that Italian is closer to Portuguese than Spanish is. EPIC FAIL!
Well we're getting down to the wire on the Volturi arrival and the showdown will be held in the same clearing where Victoria's newborns fought the wolves and the Cullens. How convenient (side note - does "The Wolves And The Cullens" sound like a good name for a rock band?) Bella, Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob all start sleeping in a tent in the clearing. Bella gets all nostalgic for the last time they were in a tent together, while I'm squicked out of my head that Jacob's going to be sharing sleeping quarters with the kid.
The Volturi ought to be arriving very soon, so the wolves and the vampires all gather together to be witnesses and Bella dresses Renesmee in "Clothes that looked frilly and feminine but that were actually sturdy enough to not show any wear–even if a person wore them while riding a giant werewolf through a couple of states". *scratches head* Why do the clothes need to appear "feminine"? It is the twentieth century after all, and it is socially acceptable for young girls to be dressed in male clothes. And I'm pretty sure that not all "feminine" clothing tears up easily.
We get our sappy goodbyes as Bella explains to Renesmee that she loves her very much but she'll have to send the kid away, Renesmee goes on about how she loves her mom so much and they'll always be together, yadda, yadda, yadda, oh and Bella is wearing Aro's expensive gift necklace as a way to kiss up to him. Oy.
We get a whole lot of boring stuff about who's standing where and what poses they're all striking and what preparations were made for battle and I'm sure it's all really tense now will they just get on with it?
But no, the tension must be milked for all it's worth. Meyer goes and cuts off the chapter right there and I am royally tee'd off.
ZeldaQueen: Well after all of this preparation, there had darned well be one heck of a fight coming up! After all, Meyer's been yelling at us how there's definitely going to be one and has spent all of this time setting up for one and it's not like she's never mislead her readers or denied them a climax, right? RIGHT??? *giggles madly*
Onward to: Chapter 36: Bloodlust
Back to: Chapter 34: Declared
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Let's see... "Chapter thirty-five, in which there is even more build-up and not much else happens".
ZeldaQueen: Augh, can this plot move any slower?
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 35: Deadline
ZeldaQueen: Something Meyer apparently didn't have, or else this freaking book would have ended sooner!
Well, we dive into action with Bella heading out somewhere and both she and Edward are putting on an oh-so-brave face about her leaving him for any length of time. He uses his daughter as a stress ball more or less and she wonders if he read the odometer on her car and figured out yet that she was keeping a secret from him. She figures that he did figure out that much and surely had deduced by now that whatever she was hiding had to stay safe from Aro, which was why he wasn't demanding (yes, she actually used that word) any explanations.
Right. I'm not sure if I can muster the appropriate reaction. Perhaps someone on our Canon Telecommunicator mailing list can help?
ZeldaQueen: Why thank you, Wolfman! *mails him a steak*
Yes folks, you heard that correctly. Bella is seriously certain that Edward is so suspicious of where she is going that he is checking her odometer. In other words, he's completely monitoring where she's going. And she suspects that the only reason he isn't badgering her and forcing her to tell him where she is going is because this all has to be secret from Aro. Otherwise, he'd be demanding - yes, demanding - that she tell him where she was going. Despite the fact that there's absolutely no reason for him to be suspicious and need to know every tiny detail about her life.
Folks, let's look at this - on one hand, let's say that Bella is the kind of person who has her own secrets. Lots of people do (in fact, I'd wager that everyone does). If that's the case and Edward is such a wonderful husband, shouldn't he respect the fact that she has secrets and not sneak and spy on her to find out every detail? She certainly doesn't know every detail about his life.
On the other hand, let's say that Bella is the sort of person who keeps absolutely no secrets from Edward. She tells him everything. And as weird and kind of frightening as that is, that seems to be how Meyer is painting her relationship. According to Bella, she is a terrible actress and Edward ought to know right off of the bat if she's hiding something. If she normally tells him everything and he suspects that she's keeping a secret, shouldn't he assume that something is just that important and not go nosing around through her possessions and car to find out about it?
Long and short of it? Even if Aro wasn't coming, even if she just wanted to hide from him that she bought him a new shirt, it's still her business if she wants to keep a secret. And the fact that Bella is completely aware of the fact that Edward does those sorts of things to find out what she's doing is just freaky and scary and wrong. It's completely domineering and a clear sign of an unhealthy relationship. But of course, this is nothing new. We found out in Twilight that he had no problem breaking into her room and staring at her while she slept. We found out in New Moon that he had no problem telling her what to drink. We found out in Eclipse that he had no problem breaking her car and having Alice kidnap her to keep her from visiting her friend. We found out at the beginning of this book that he most likely broke her car to force her to accept one that he approved of. In other words, Edward Cullen is a controlling bastard and no woman should ever date a man like that. I have to ask Meyer, would you put up with behavior like that from your husband? If your husband told you what to eat, told you if any of your friends were "dangerous", broke your possessions to replace them with ones he liked, or rifted through your personal information to piece together where you were going and what you were doing, would you honestly be alright with that? I doubt it. You say you think Edward is the greatest man ever, but I think that your empty head can't grasp the concept of how frustrating and scary a relationship with him would be. Just like you completely are unaware of how threatening and frightening being stalked really is.
*shakes head* Anyway, moving on. Bella is on her way to pick up the forged documents from J. Jenks. She figures that Alice sent her to his ghetto office as opposed to his respectable one so that she would figure out that he engaged in illegal business. Because of course everyone who works in a ghetto is shady and and does illegitimate work. I still don't know why Alice couldn't have simply written it down for Bella in the first place. *mutters and moves on*
Bella enters the restaurant and we get some wanking over how she's wearing a oyster satin cocktail dress and this make the maître d' gasp. Bella is a bit pleased as "I still wasn't used to being beautiful to everyone rather than just Edward". Um Bella? Did you completely forget how Eric, Ben, Mike, Taylor, and Jacob spent most of this series salivating over you? Did you forget Edward implying that every boy at your old high school was lusting after you on the very first day? And Meyer, don't think I've forgotten how you said that one of her teachers was lusting after her and how her stepdad originally was supposed to have come on to her. If it's one thing Bella has not been short of, it's men wanting to get in her pants. And also, this is apparently a high-class restaurant. I'm sure the maître d' has seen all sorts of fancy clothes. Stop trying to make out like you characters always have the best and fanciest of everything, Meyer. It's really starting to steam my clams.
Jenks shows up and of course comments on how hot Bella is. He also implies that she's a lot more settling to work with than Jasper and Bella wonders what on Earth Jasper has done to the guy. Jenks says that he's worked with Jasper for twenty years and his old partner worked with Jasper for fifteen and that he never changes. Wait what??? Are the vampires supposed to be uber secret or not? According to Midnight Sun, Jasper was perfectly happy to kill Bella so that they wouldn't have their secret exposed. In New Moon they left just because Carlisle was starting to look too young for his age. And now we find out that Jasper has no problem hanging around doing business for this guy for twenty years and making it very obvious that there's something fishy with him? Meyer, consistency is your friend! Embrace it!!!
Bella asks for the documents while taking care to wave around a fat envelope full of bonus money. Jenks gives her the forged stuff which seems to be in order and implies that he'd rather have her act as the Cullen liason than Jasper. Before she leaves, Jenks confesses that there's something he wants to talk to Bella about - as we heard before, he is well aware of the fact that Jacob is not Renesmee's father. It seems that Jenks is under the impression that Bella is kidnapping the kid away from Edward. Quite personally, I think Renesmee ought to be kidnapped away from all of them if she weren't such a disgusting Sue, but whatever. Bella assures him that nothing like that is going on and she'd be perfectly happy for Jasper to be told about all of this.
Bella heads home again using Edward's insane driving skills, turning off her headlights and driving at maximum speed. Bella dear, you still can't defy the laws of physics. Of course she doesn't slide off of the road and get arrested. That would be too much karma. Instead she makes it home alright and we are told that most of the Cullen family cars are gone, which means that the vampire guests are out feeding. Bella only pauses to "cringe" over the thoughts of an unknown and probably very large number of people dying before going inside. Gah!
Well at least we get a brief mention of Kate and Garrett who are "playfully" arguing about the nutritional value of animal blood. It seems that Garrett has taken up vegetarian vampirism himself and is finding it tricky. You know, if Meyer had the brains the nutritional thing could have been a decent reason for why some vampires don't like it - it's not as rich in whatever vitamins or minerals a vampire needs and thus is less satisfying or believed to be unhealthier. And looky there Meyer, you're actually setting up a couple to have a relationship based on common interests! Seriously, they're sharing experiences, they're bonding over Kate teaching Garrett something new, and actually seem to be having fun together. Would it have been too hard to do that with Edward and Bella, Meyer? Apparently so. *sigh*
Since the house is mostly empty - Edward and Renesmee are at the cottage, Jacob is lurking outside of the cottage (which isn't creepy at all), and the rest of the Cullens are out hunting - Bella sneaks into Alice and Jasper's room to pack for the escape that Jacob and Renesmee will surely be making because a fight is inevitable and will certainly be happening. Ow, I think I'm getting a headache from Meyer whacking me over the head with all of this. Can I get some aspirin?
Projection Room Voices: Sure!
ZeldaQueen: Great. *takes some with water* Much better. Bella finds a bag "a small black leather backpack, the kind that was usually used as a purse, little enough that even Renesmee could carry it without looking out of place". She fills with "petty cash", specifically "about twice the yearly income for the average American household". *screams* She also slips in there the fake documents - seriously, how big is this bag? - and comments on how it's insignificant an how she wishes she could help them out more. Bella is sort of struck with a brainwave and realizes that since Alice and Jasper were obviously on the run from Dimitri (BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE RUNNING OFF TO PUT A PLAN INTO ACTION, OH NO!!!) Anyway, Bella figures that if they can kill Dimitri, then there's no reason why Alice and Jasper wouldn't be free to find and help Jacob and Renesmee. Because of this, Bella decides to leave a note saying "RIO DE JANERIO" in the hopes that Alice would foresee it and go there to find Jacob and Renesmee. And maybe that Jacob would see the note himself and figure out he's supposed to be there. Quick question - erm, don't half-vampires and werewolves screw up Alice's ability to have visions? Ah whatever, it's not like we've had our questions answered before. Why start now?
Oh, and Bella hopes that Jacob took Spanish as an elective since he probably wasn't given the chance to learn Portuguese. Two things Meyer - first of all, they don't speak Spanish in Brazil. And my source? The same blog from before. Because it seems that the Portuguese/Spanish thing is a major peeve for the folks of Brazil.
But unbelievably stupid seems to be the rule, not the exception. With Internet wide available these days on the whole world I hoped that foreigners would get it right: We not only DO NOT SPEAK SPANISH or have spanish names. Brazilians tend to have a *huuuuge* prejudice against latin americans that speak spanish. Starting with Argentina, going in lesser degrees to other south american countries like Paraguai, Chile and so forth.
I lived enough to know that people are people, and *I* have friends from many different countries, but this is a fact about Brazil. We were colonized by Portugal and we speak portuguese, other countries were colonized by Spain and speak spanish, and Portugal and Spain were at war over the colonies and yes, we kind of imprinted that hate unto our culture. When you think a brazilian speaks spanish, you make that brazilian want to puke. Simple like that.
ZeldaQueen: You know Meyer, if you would just Google these things you'd probably tread on a lot less toes.
And the second thing? I do believe that Italian is closer to Portuguese than Spanish is. EPIC FAIL!
Well we're getting down to the wire on the Volturi arrival and the showdown will be held in the same clearing where Victoria's newborns fought the wolves and the Cullens. How convenient (side note - does "The Wolves And The Cullens" sound like a good name for a rock band?) Bella, Edward, Renesmee, and Jacob all start sleeping in a tent in the clearing. Bella gets all nostalgic for the last time they were in a tent together, while I'm squicked out of my head that Jacob's going to be sharing sleeping quarters with the kid.
The Volturi ought to be arriving very soon, so the wolves and the vampires all gather together to be witnesses and Bella dresses Renesmee in "Clothes that looked frilly and feminine but that were actually sturdy enough to not show any wear–even if a person wore them while riding a giant werewolf through a couple of states". *scratches head* Why do the clothes need to appear "feminine"? It is the twentieth century after all, and it is socially acceptable for young girls to be dressed in male clothes. And I'm pretty sure that not all "feminine" clothing tears up easily.
We get our sappy goodbyes as Bella explains to Renesmee that she loves her very much but she'll have to send the kid away, Renesmee goes on about how she loves her mom so much and they'll always be together, yadda, yadda, yadda, oh and Bella is wearing Aro's expensive gift necklace as a way to kiss up to him. Oy.
We get a whole lot of boring stuff about who's standing where and what poses they're all striking and what preparations were made for battle and I'm sure it's all really tense now will they just get on with it?
But no, the tension must be milked for all it's worth. Meyer goes and cuts off the chapter right there and I am royally tee'd off.
ZeldaQueen: Well after all of this preparation, there had darned well be one heck of a fight coming up! After all, Meyer's been yelling at us how there's definitely going to be one and has spent all of this time setting up for one and it's not like she's never mislead her readers or denied them a climax, right? RIGHT??? *giggles madly*
Onward to: Chapter 36: Bloodlust
Back to: Chapter 34: Declared
Return to: Table of Contents