Breaking Dawn: Chapter 23 - Memories
Mar. 9th, 2010 09:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: Right then, we've met the Sue spawn so onward and outward, right?
Projection Room Voices: Right. "Chapter twenty-three, in which more of Bella's Sue-ness is touched upon, along with the Sue-ness of her daughter".
ZeldaQueen: *cracks knuckles*
Projection Room Voices: Playing Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 23: Memories
ZeldaQueen: Memory! Not a sound from the pavement! I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then!
Well, after Bella's freakout in the previous chapter, we open right away with Carlisle bandaging Seth up while Edward apologizes a lot and Bella suffers from a mental Blue Screen of Death. It appears that when she lunged to kill Jacob, Seth got in the way and had his shoulder and collar bone broken. Seth, I think you're a sweetheart (besides when you don't do beans to defend your own sister), but I really think that letting Bella kill Jake would have done us all a huge favor.
For her part, Bella keeps trying to apologize and tells the readers how it's not fair that Edward should be the one apologizing, since she was the one who did the attacking. Huh. Well, at least their roles are reversed for a change. Plus, Edward keeps looking kind of happy about the attack and again, I don't blame him for once. Meyer, I doubt it's a good sign that I get behind your main characters murdering each other.
Seth for his part is still cheerfully and insists that he'll heal fast enough, adding that it only would have been bad if he'd actually been bitten. It appears that vampire venom is poisonous to wolves, reacting to them differently than humans.
*blinks*
One second here folks. I just want to get something straightened out before I continue.
From what I've come to understand, there are the vampires. Those are extra-strong, extra-fast, have X-men powers, heightened senses, and look gorgeous to lure prey in. Vampires have none of their traditional weaknesses. Very, very little can actually hurt them. If one goes after a human, said human doesn't have a prayer to save himself or herself. And since it appears that very few vampires practice being "vegetarians", humanity is on whole rather screwed.
Then, we find out that there are the wolves in Forks, who are more or less designated vampire killers. They're stronger, faster, heal much quicker, and have more endurance than a regular human, however we don't know how that compares to vampire strength or speed. And we see right here that a vampire could break a werewolf's bone pretty easily. Now we find out that it all also operates on a Mongoose Gambit - one bite from a vampire and the wolf is a goner.
Now my question is this - what is the advantage that any other race has over vampires? Hmm? Is there any? Because the way it looks to me, the only things that can safely and easily kill vampires are...other vampires. And it looks like there's little interest in vampires protecting humans who are not named Bella from being eaten.
I know it's been said before and before now by other people, but honestly Meyer, you've way overpowered your vampires. These are like bad RPG characters with very few weaknesses and almost no opposition. I know you've studied the human condition in your other works, Meyer. I've read you do it. But here, I really think you became way too infatuated with your vampires, to the point where you couldn't stand the thought of anyone one-upping them or comparing to them.
*sigh* Back to the story. We find some more of Renesmee's Sue-ness, in that she bites Jacob a lot but doesn't generate venom.
Carlisle finishes fixing up Seth and comments that he wishes "treating humans were this instantaneously gratifying.”. Excuse us for being unable to heal in two seconds. *is grumpy*
Oh, and we get updated on some stuff that apparently Bella missed over her two-day chapter on burning. It seems that wolf law forbids killing anyone that a packmate has imprinted on. This means that there's no longer any danger of the wolves coming to kill Renesmee pity. I'm sure this would all be grand and glorious if something actually came of the threat of them killing the baby! As it is, it's a complete butt-pull to tie up a piece of conflict that didn't go anywhere! It's like the conflict of every book in the series - there's a constant threat of danger and something attacking, but the attack never actually happens until the end of the book, when it's ended in a chapter or so. Only with this, there's not even an attack. Just a stupid loophole agreement!
"So Renesmee was untouchable because of the way Jacob now felt about her. I tried to concentrate on the relief of this fact rather than the chagrin, but it wasn't easy. My mind had enough room to feel both emotions intensely at the same time"
ZeldaQueen: Mostly just put that out there becauseI think that's the first time we get the word "chagrin" in this book hooray! :D that's actually the second time the word "chagrin" is used (the first escaped my notice in Chapter Twenty - "Chagrin washed through me, and I waited for the heat to burn in my cheeks and give me away"). I also love how she just found out that her former "love interest" just swore eternal love to her infant and will more or less take over her role as mother and eventual marry the kid and she feels annoyance over it.
And yes Bella, we know that you have an empty head. Thank you for reminding us.
More on the wolf front, it turns out that Sam and Jacob as Alphas can communicate with each other - again, this is just brought up now - Sam renewed the treaty with Carlisle, and Bella's transformation into a vampire isn't going to get retaliated because Jake gave permission.
ZeldaQueen: I mean seriously Meyer, is this book supposed to have any conflict or resolution? The main issues have all been tied up and we've got ten chapters left! You're not going to pull something random out of your butt in an attempt to keep this going, are you? Are you?
Oh hell, you are, aren't you?
Jasper comes up to gush some more over Bella's self-control and not killing Jacob and we find out that there is a little bit of conflict left - Bella has no idea what to do about Charlie, who she hasn't spoken to for a full... *checks watch* three days. Her dilemma is mainly that she knows it's too dangerous to stay in the area with him, but also can't stand the thought of faking her death and putting her parents through so much pain.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THIS TWO FREAKING BOOKS AGAIN, YOU IDIOT??? My God, ever since she latched on to the "I wanna be a vampire!" schtick, everyone's been telling her, she'll need to fake her death and leave her parents forever! And she didn't give them a second thought! And now that she's gone too far to change her mind, this is when she starts to get cold feet? AUGH!!! And you just know that she'll finagle some solution to have her own way all of the time. Because heaven forbid Miss Bella-Sue actually gives up something she wants because it's time to pay her dues.
Jasper reminds her that yes, the family will have to move away for some time to make things convincing and Bella sighs about how she'll miss "everyone here". Which apparently means "Charlie and Jacob". Seriously, those are the only two people she thinks about when she says this. No mention of her teachers or her human friends or even the other wolves. Her thoughts on Jacob launch her her into wondering how on Earth he'll manage to survive if they take Renesmee away from him, since an imprinted wolf just can't live without their forced Significant Other. *rubs head* I guess it hasn't occurred to Bella that Jacob would just leave with them. It's not like the idiots in these books have any sense of responsibility to their jobs or families or friends and stalking is apparently the height of romance. I guess she's in denial again, since she admits to feeling slightly pleased at the thought of taking her daughter away from him. Again, I know it's not cool that she's getting off on his pain and all, but seriously I'd be doing the exact same thing. Leave the baby alone you creeper! And in this lovely incest-like theme we've had going, Bella looks back on her "fuzzy, weak" human memories and recalls wishing that Jacob was her brother. So Meyer saw Jacob as being like a brother to Bella and had him marry her daughter? And Jacob is her brother in real life while Bella is clearly Meyer's avatar...
...I'm really glad that woman doesn't have a daughter.
Bella's boring musings are interrupted as she hears movement inside. It turns out that it's time for Renesmee to be weighed and measured. It turns out that the baby's still growing quickly enough for everyone to be worried and so she's being examined four times a day. I might add here that this could be a very legitimate source of nightmare fuel - growing up in just a few years and dying of old age so quickly would be horrifying to anyone - except that we all know that nothing's going to come of it. Seriously, after all of the Sue-ness that Meyer pumped into Renesmee, do you really think she's going to die? Bella agrees with me, evidently.
"She looked perfect, absolutely healthy. Her skin glowed like backlit alabaster; the color in her cheeks was rose petals against it. There couldn't be anything wrong with such radiant beauty. Surely there could be nothing more dangerous in her life than her mother. Could there?"
ZeldaQueen: "Alabaster"? Meyer, you know that Anne Shirley used that word and it was considered silly, don't you? As for the rest... *deep breath*
STOP GOING ON ABOUT HOW THE BABY IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND MUST THEREFORE BE PERFECTLY HEALTHY! SICK PEOPLE CAN LOOK ATTRACTIVE AND HEALTHY PEOPLE CAN BE UGLY! I mean, my God! Rappaccini's daughter was drop-dead gorgeous and she was poisonous! And stop going on about how pale and glowing she is! Would she be just as pretty if she were dark and dull?
*weakly* Moving on. Jacob is, of course, all threatening to Carlisle over the thought of His Precious dying and Renesmee gets all impatient and starts fussing for Bella to hold her. As soon as she's in her mother's arms, the creepy kid shows how she saw Bella attacking Jake. It turns out that Renesmee was happy that Seth got hurt because she didn't want Jake to have been injured. Again, Bella must have passed her selfish genes on, because this eerily reminds me of how she cared naught for Leah's attack in Eclipse, so long as Jacob was alright. And we also get an added layer of ick in this scene, since Renesmee already considers Jacob to be "hers". Now, I've heard people say, "it's just the way kids say things", but riddle me this - isn't the Satan spawn also supposed to have adult-like intelligence by now? Even if she can't talk or walk, she seems clearly able to recognize and respond to things a child her age shouldn't or wouldn't. So in one corner, we have the teenage wolfboy who's saying "I'm coming for you when you're of age, woof!" and in the other corner, we have the infant who thinks like an adult who's going "Come and get some, big boy!"
I think I'm getting brain damage from this, I really do.
During all of this, Jasper wigs out and runs away and it turns out that he's depressed because Bella's just sooooo in control while he isn't.
SUE! IN THE DUNGEONS! JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!
Alright, it turns out that Jasper's specific problem is that he thinks that the bloodlust is entirely avoidable if one has the right mindset. In other words, he thinks that Bella isn't all bloodthirsty and crazy because she was prepared for it. Meyer? I'm going to have to call bull on that one. Because do you honestly expect me to believe that in the entire history of vampirism, Bella is the only human to have volunteered for it and mentally prepared herself for the transformation? And no fans, don't try to tell me "there could be ones that the Cullens don't know about!" because first of all, if Bella's actions are so unique and shocking, surely any other vampires that had been like this would have attracted and second of all, Carlisle traveled Europe, didn't he? He lived with the Volturia, who are constantly looking for unusual or powerful vampires to join them. Wouldn't a vampire who didn't suffer from bloodlust come to their attention?
Okay, let's move on. *scans* No wait, let's not. Because then we see everyone start to guess if the great self-control is Bella's special power. Because she's not enough of a Sue already, let's give her something more! And how does she react to all of this?
"For a tiny space, I was disappointed. What? No magic visions, no formidable offensive abilities like, oh, shooting lightning bolts from my eyes or something? Nothing helpful or cool at all? And then I realized what that might mean, if my “superpower” was no more than exceptional self-control.
For one thing, at least I had a gift. It could have been nothing.
But, much more than that, if Edward was right, then I could skip right over the part I'd feared the very most.
What if I didn't have to be a newborn? Not in the crazed killing-machine sense, anyway. What if I could fit right in with the Cullens from my first day? What if we didn't have to hide out somewhere remote for a year while I “grew up”? What if, like Carlisle, I never killed a single person? What if I could be a good vampire right away?"
ZeldaQueen: First of all Bella, stop being so selfish and ungrateful. You've just been told (multiple times) that you've got wicked self-control never seen before by the Cullens and that it could be your superpower. Instead of being happy, your first thought is that you don't get anything "helpful or cool". I don't even know why you think you'd need any sort of superpowers like that. No humans can challenge a vampire, the wolves are on buddy-buddy terms with your family, and the Volturi don't do squat. If you wanted to go off and play Superman that's one thing, but the Cullens also seem perfectly fine ignoring people in danger or trouble and I fail to see how you would be any different.
Second of all, you're not making any sense here. People have been telling you that you're not acting like a newborn. You've been like this for three days and have shown no signs of stopping. So why are you still wondering if you're going to be a crazy killer? It's like me wondering if I got into Pitt after I found my acceptance letter in the mail.
Carlisle makes a very slippery and awkward comparison between self-control as a power and the potential ability of his Irish friend Siobhan, who unofficially has the ability to make things she wants to happen happen. She calls it good planning apparently and I agree with her. Meyer, please stop taking ordinary abilities that anyone can have and making them super-powers. Secretary Woman doesn't get into the Justice League by way of her planning powers, you know. And like I said, the connection sucks and seems to pretty much be used to bring up this Siobhan person, along with her mate Liam and some girl with them named Maggie who has the official power in the group. But of course it has to just be for the comparison, right? It's not like this is some lame attempt at foreshadowing.
ZeldaQueen: Bella starts to tune out this discussion after making note of how she doesn't need to sit down or fidget like the others did and decides that they must do those things to act more human. This is just...this is really stupid. Renesmee continues to feed her memories, which include an image of Bella lying ripped up on the operating table. Lovely.
After awhile, the baby falls asleep and Bella somehow is continually fed her dreams. She gushes on in idiotic prose about how beautiful it all is and how she can see "both of my faces, hideous human and glorious immortal" and how she ranks higher in Renesmee's mind than Rosalie and Edward and is neck to neck with Jacob. *head desk* First of all, I'd like wonder what the hell has Edward done to care for the baby? I mean, we get that he sung to her twice, but he mostly follows Bella around while Rosalie and Jacob take care of the kid. No freaking wonder he ranks low on the totem pole. Meyer, this is the twenty-first century. Fathers do take care of babies.
Second of all, why in the name of God would Bella rank higher than Rosalie? She's held the baby twice while Rosalie's been the one to carry and feed and look after Renesmee. Again, children bond to the one who takes care of them. It makes no sense.
Finally, Jacob ranks higher than Edward. Jacob (the suitor-to-be) ranks higher than Renesmee's father!!! *scream of fury* And if anyone tries to say "but you just said that kids like the ones who raised them best", fine. But either way, it shouldn't work. Either Renesmee should attach best to whoever raised her the most (Jacob and Rosalie) or her biological parents (Bella and Edward). You can't have it both ways.
And Bella comments on how she finally understands about Edward staring at her while asleep. Not because she found it creepy before, but because she had no idea why he'd think it was interesting. She says how she could watch her daughter dream forever. Great, who wants to bet that Mommy will be breaking into Renesmee's room at night to stare at her? If Daddy joins in, they can start a fun family past time. Eh, they probably won't. They're too busy staring at each other and making out passionately.
Passing by all of this, Bella suddenly realizes that the Cullens are running towards the house from the forest. We are treated to extremely flattering descriptions of how they all crossed the river (Alice went like a trapeze artist, Esme and Jasper just jumped, and Emmett barreled right through). Alice goes up to Bella in all of her perky, annoying glory and hands her a key with an "oversized pink satin bow" tied to it. Alice squees about how it's Bella's birthday, not her vampire-turning birthday but her human one. And...that's where it leaves off. Just right there.
Projection Room Voices: Getting to the end there. Keep up the good work.
ZeldaQueen: Woot! *runs out to Rocky theme*
Onward to: Chapter 24: Surprise
Back to: Chapter 22: Promised
Return to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Right. "Chapter twenty-three, in which more of Bella's Sue-ness is touched upon, along with the Sue-ness of her daughter".
ZeldaQueen: *cracks knuckles*
Projection Room Voices: Playing Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 23: Memories
ZeldaQueen: Memory! Not a sound from the pavement! I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then!
Well, after Bella's freakout in the previous chapter, we open right away with Carlisle bandaging Seth up while Edward apologizes a lot and Bella suffers from a mental Blue Screen of Death. It appears that when she lunged to kill Jacob, Seth got in the way and had his shoulder and collar bone broken. Seth, I think you're a sweetheart (besides when you don't do beans to defend your own sister), but I really think that letting Bella kill Jake would have done us all a huge favor.
For her part, Bella keeps trying to apologize and tells the readers how it's not fair that Edward should be the one apologizing, since she was the one who did the attacking. Huh. Well, at least their roles are reversed for a change. Plus, Edward keeps looking kind of happy about the attack and again, I don't blame him for once. Meyer, I doubt it's a good sign that I get behind your main characters murdering each other.
Seth for his part is still cheerfully and insists that he'll heal fast enough, adding that it only would have been bad if he'd actually been bitten. It appears that vampire venom is poisonous to wolves, reacting to them differently than humans.
*blinks*
One second here folks. I just want to get something straightened out before I continue.
From what I've come to understand, there are the vampires. Those are extra-strong, extra-fast, have X-men powers, heightened senses, and look gorgeous to lure prey in. Vampires have none of their traditional weaknesses. Very, very little can actually hurt them. If one goes after a human, said human doesn't have a prayer to save himself or herself. And since it appears that very few vampires practice being "vegetarians", humanity is on whole rather screwed.
Then, we find out that there are the wolves in Forks, who are more or less designated vampire killers. They're stronger, faster, heal much quicker, and have more endurance than a regular human, however we don't know how that compares to vampire strength or speed. And we see right here that a vampire could break a werewolf's bone pretty easily. Now we find out that it all also operates on a Mongoose Gambit - one bite from a vampire and the wolf is a goner.
Now my question is this - what is the advantage that any other race has over vampires? Hmm? Is there any? Because the way it looks to me, the only things that can safely and easily kill vampires are...other vampires. And it looks like there's little interest in vampires protecting humans who are not named Bella from being eaten.
I know it's been said before and before now by other people, but honestly Meyer, you've way overpowered your vampires. These are like bad RPG characters with very few weaknesses and almost no opposition. I know you've studied the human condition in your other works, Meyer. I've read you do it. But here, I really think you became way too infatuated with your vampires, to the point where you couldn't stand the thought of anyone one-upping them or comparing to them.
*sigh* Back to the story. We find some more of Renesmee's Sue-ness, in that she bites Jacob a lot but doesn't generate venom.
Carlisle finishes fixing up Seth and comments that he wishes "treating humans were this instantaneously gratifying.”. Excuse us for being unable to heal in two seconds. *is grumpy*
Oh, and we get updated on some stuff that apparently Bella missed over her two-day chapter on burning. It seems that wolf law forbids killing anyone that a packmate has imprinted on. This means that there's no longer any danger of the wolves coming to kill Renesmee pity. I'm sure this would all be grand and glorious if something actually came of the threat of them killing the baby! As it is, it's a complete butt-pull to tie up a piece of conflict that didn't go anywhere! It's like the conflict of every book in the series - there's a constant threat of danger and something attacking, but the attack never actually happens until the end of the book, when it's ended in a chapter or so. Only with this, there's not even an attack. Just a stupid loophole agreement!
"So Renesmee was untouchable because of the way Jacob now felt about her. I tried to concentrate on the relief of this fact rather than the chagrin, but it wasn't easy. My mind had enough room to feel both emotions intensely at the same time"
ZeldaQueen: Mostly just put that out there because
And yes Bella, we know that you have an empty head. Thank you for reminding us.
More on the wolf front, it turns out that Sam and Jacob as Alphas can communicate with each other - again, this is just brought up now - Sam renewed the treaty with Carlisle, and Bella's transformation into a vampire isn't going to get retaliated because Jake gave permission.
ZeldaQueen: I mean seriously Meyer, is this book supposed to have any conflict or resolution? The main issues have all been tied up and we've got ten chapters left! You're not going to pull something random out of your butt in an attempt to keep this going, are you? Are you?
Oh hell, you are, aren't you?
Jasper comes up to gush some more over Bella's self-control and not killing Jacob and we find out that there is a little bit of conflict left - Bella has no idea what to do about Charlie, who she hasn't spoken to for a full... *checks watch* three days. Her dilemma is mainly that she knows it's too dangerous to stay in the area with him, but also can't stand the thought of faking her death and putting her parents through so much pain.
WHY DIDN'T YOU THINK OF THIS TWO FREAKING BOOKS AGAIN, YOU IDIOT??? My God, ever since she latched on to the "I wanna be a vampire!" schtick, everyone's been telling her, she'll need to fake her death and leave her parents forever! And she didn't give them a second thought! And now that she's gone too far to change her mind, this is when she starts to get cold feet? AUGH!!! And you just know that she'll finagle some solution to have her own way all of the time. Because heaven forbid Miss Bella-Sue actually gives up something she wants because it's time to pay her dues.
Jasper reminds her that yes, the family will have to move away for some time to make things convincing and Bella sighs about how she'll miss "everyone here". Which apparently means "Charlie and Jacob". Seriously, those are the only two people she thinks about when she says this. No mention of her teachers or her human friends or even the other wolves. Her thoughts on Jacob launch her her into wondering how on Earth he'll manage to survive if they take Renesmee away from him, since an imprinted wolf just can't live without their forced Significant Other. *rubs head* I guess it hasn't occurred to Bella that Jacob would just leave with them. It's not like the idiots in these books have any sense of responsibility to their jobs or families or friends and stalking is apparently the height of romance. I guess she's in denial again, since she admits to feeling slightly pleased at the thought of taking her daughter away from him. Again, I know it's not cool that she's getting off on his pain and all, but seriously I'd be doing the exact same thing. Leave the baby alone you creeper! And in this lovely incest-like theme we've had going, Bella looks back on her "fuzzy, weak" human memories and recalls wishing that Jacob was her brother. So Meyer saw Jacob as being like a brother to Bella and had him marry her daughter? And Jacob is her brother in real life while Bella is clearly Meyer's avatar...
...I'm really glad that woman doesn't have a daughter.
Bella's boring musings are interrupted as she hears movement inside. It turns out that it's time for Renesmee to be weighed and measured. It turns out that the baby's still growing quickly enough for everyone to be worried and so she's being examined four times a day. I might add here that this could be a very legitimate source of nightmare fuel - growing up in just a few years and dying of old age so quickly would be horrifying to anyone - except that we all know that nothing's going to come of it. Seriously, after all of the Sue-ness that Meyer pumped into Renesmee, do you really think she's going to die? Bella agrees with me, evidently.
"She looked perfect, absolutely healthy. Her skin glowed like backlit alabaster; the color in her cheeks was rose petals against it. There couldn't be anything wrong with such radiant beauty. Surely there could be nothing more dangerous in her life than her mother. Could there?"
ZeldaQueen: "Alabaster"? Meyer, you know that Anne Shirley used that word and it was considered silly, don't you? As for the rest... *deep breath*
STOP GOING ON ABOUT HOW THE BABY IS SO BEAUTIFUL AND MUST THEREFORE BE PERFECTLY HEALTHY! SICK PEOPLE CAN LOOK ATTRACTIVE AND HEALTHY PEOPLE CAN BE UGLY! I mean, my God! Rappaccini's daughter was drop-dead gorgeous and she was poisonous! And stop going on about how pale and glowing she is! Would she be just as pretty if she were dark and dull?
*weakly* Moving on. Jacob is, of course, all threatening to Carlisle over the thought of His Precious dying and Renesmee gets all impatient and starts fussing for Bella to hold her. As soon as she's in her mother's arms, the creepy kid shows how she saw Bella attacking Jake. It turns out that Renesmee was happy that Seth got hurt because she didn't want Jake to have been injured. Again, Bella must have passed her selfish genes on, because this eerily reminds me of how she cared naught for Leah's attack in Eclipse, so long as Jacob was alright. And we also get an added layer of ick in this scene, since Renesmee already considers Jacob to be "hers". Now, I've heard people say, "it's just the way kids say things", but riddle me this - isn't the Satan spawn also supposed to have adult-like intelligence by now? Even if she can't talk or walk, she seems clearly able to recognize and respond to things a child her age shouldn't or wouldn't. So in one corner, we have the teenage wolfboy who's saying "I'm coming for you when you're of age, woof!" and in the other corner, we have the infant who thinks like an adult who's going "Come and get some, big boy!"
I think I'm getting brain damage from this, I really do.
During all of this, Jasper wigs out and runs away and it turns out that he's depressed because Bella's just sooooo in control while he isn't.
SUE! IN THE DUNGEONS! JUST THOUGHT YOU SHOULD KNOW!!!
Alright, it turns out that Jasper's specific problem is that he thinks that the bloodlust is entirely avoidable if one has the right mindset. In other words, he thinks that Bella isn't all bloodthirsty and crazy because she was prepared for it. Meyer? I'm going to have to call bull on that one. Because do you honestly expect me to believe that in the entire history of vampirism, Bella is the only human to have volunteered for it and mentally prepared herself for the transformation? And no fans, don't try to tell me "there could be ones that the Cullens don't know about!" because first of all, if Bella's actions are so unique and shocking, surely any other vampires that had been like this would have attracted and second of all, Carlisle traveled Europe, didn't he? He lived with the Volturia, who are constantly looking for unusual or powerful vampires to join them. Wouldn't a vampire who didn't suffer from bloodlust come to their attention?
Okay, let's move on. *scans* No wait, let's not. Because then we see everyone start to guess if the great self-control is Bella's special power. Because she's not enough of a Sue already, let's give her something more! And how does she react to all of this?
"For a tiny space, I was disappointed. What? No magic visions, no formidable offensive abilities like, oh, shooting lightning bolts from my eyes or something? Nothing helpful or cool at all? And then I realized what that might mean, if my “superpower” was no more than exceptional self-control.
For one thing, at least I had a gift. It could have been nothing.
But, much more than that, if Edward was right, then I could skip right over the part I'd feared the very most.
What if I didn't have to be a newborn? Not in the crazed killing-machine sense, anyway. What if I could fit right in with the Cullens from my first day? What if we didn't have to hide out somewhere remote for a year while I “grew up”? What if, like Carlisle, I never killed a single person? What if I could be a good vampire right away?"
ZeldaQueen: First of all Bella, stop being so selfish and ungrateful. You've just been told (multiple times) that you've got wicked self-control never seen before by the Cullens and that it could be your superpower. Instead of being happy, your first thought is that you don't get anything "helpful or cool". I don't even know why you think you'd need any sort of superpowers like that. No humans can challenge a vampire, the wolves are on buddy-buddy terms with your family, and the Volturi don't do squat. If you wanted to go off and play Superman that's one thing, but the Cullens also seem perfectly fine ignoring people in danger or trouble and I fail to see how you would be any different.
Second of all, you're not making any sense here. People have been telling you that you're not acting like a newborn. You've been like this for three days and have shown no signs of stopping. So why are you still wondering if you're going to be a crazy killer? It's like me wondering if I got into Pitt after I found my acceptance letter in the mail.
Carlisle makes a very slippery and awkward comparison between self-control as a power and the potential ability of his Irish friend Siobhan, who unofficially has the ability to make things she wants to happen happen. She calls it good planning apparently and I agree with her. Meyer, please stop taking ordinary abilities that anyone can have and making them super-powers. Secretary Woman doesn't get into the Justice League by way of her planning powers, you know. And like I said, the connection sucks and seems to pretty much be used to bring up this Siobhan person, along with her mate Liam and some girl with them named Maggie who has the official power in the group. But of course it has to just be for the comparison, right? It's not like this is some lame attempt at foreshadowing.
ZeldaQueen: Bella starts to tune out this discussion after making note of how she doesn't need to sit down or fidget like the others did and decides that they must do those things to act more human. This is just...this is really stupid. Renesmee continues to feed her memories, which include an image of Bella lying ripped up on the operating table. Lovely.
After awhile, the baby falls asleep and Bella somehow is continually fed her dreams. She gushes on in idiotic prose about how beautiful it all is and how she can see "both of my faces, hideous human and glorious immortal" and how she ranks higher in Renesmee's mind than Rosalie and Edward and is neck to neck with Jacob. *head desk* First of all, I'd like wonder what the hell has Edward done to care for the baby? I mean, we get that he sung to her twice, but he mostly follows Bella around while Rosalie and Jacob take care of the kid. No freaking wonder he ranks low on the totem pole. Meyer, this is the twenty-first century. Fathers do take care of babies.
Second of all, why in the name of God would Bella rank higher than Rosalie? She's held the baby twice while Rosalie's been the one to carry and feed and look after Renesmee. Again, children bond to the one who takes care of them. It makes no sense.
Finally, Jacob ranks higher than Edward. Jacob (the suitor-to-be) ranks higher than Renesmee's father!!! *scream of fury* And if anyone tries to say "but you just said that kids like the ones who raised them best", fine. But either way, it shouldn't work. Either Renesmee should attach best to whoever raised her the most (Jacob and Rosalie) or her biological parents (Bella and Edward). You can't have it both ways.
And Bella comments on how she finally understands about Edward staring at her while asleep. Not because she found it creepy before, but because she had no idea why he'd think it was interesting. She says how she could watch her daughter dream forever. Great, who wants to bet that Mommy will be breaking into Renesmee's room at night to stare at her? If Daddy joins in, they can start a fun family past time. Eh, they probably won't. They're too busy staring at each other and making out passionately.
Passing by all of this, Bella suddenly realizes that the Cullens are running towards the house from the forest. We are treated to extremely flattering descriptions of how they all crossed the river (Alice went like a trapeze artist, Esme and Jasper just jumped, and Emmett barreled right through). Alice goes up to Bella in all of her perky, annoying glory and hands her a key with an "oversized pink satin bow" tied to it. Alice squees about how it's Bella's birthday, not her vampire-turning birthday but her human one. And...that's where it leaves off. Just right there.
Projection Room Voices: Getting to the end there. Keep up the good work.
ZeldaQueen: Woot! *runs out to Rocky theme*
Onward to: Chapter 24: Surprise
Back to: Chapter 22: Promised
Return to: Table of Contents