Betrayed: Final Assessment

[zelda_queen]

ZeldaQueen: And finally, we conclude our journey through Betrayed. Was it any better than its predecessor? Let's take a look!

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Final Assessment

Plot: In Marked, I noted that the plot was clichéd and generally not very impressive. In this? The plot actually isn’t too bad. It takes advantage of aspects of the world built, and has a lot of potential for action and character development.

So really, it’s a pity that no one, from the characters to the Cast ladies themselves, seem able to remember that there’s a plot.

Yeah. This book suffers from Eclipse-syndrome something awful. Zoey and company will find something disturbing or obviously important. They will take notice of it and comment on it. And they will then do everything in their power to forget about it. The book will put up a weak struggle, waving more plot points in their faces, but they’ll simply ignore it in favor of whatever shiny thing currently has their attention.

And this isn’t just the case with the main plot, oh no. Everything gets this treatment. Zoey doesn’t bother trying to sort out her harem of boyfriends until one is right next to her. She doesn’t make any effort to reform the Dark Daughters until the deadline is kicking her ass into doing it. She continuously fails to remember that Neferet’s being creepy and suspicious unless Neferet’s acting creepy and suspicious in front of her. It all gives the sense that Zoey is a baby who has no sense of object permanence and can’t grasp the idea that problems continue to exist when she isn’t being directly faced with them.

Not only does this make Zoey (and most of the characters, for that matter) look extraordinarily stupid, it also ruins any sense of gravity for any of the conflicts. How are we supposed to buy that Heath, Erik, and Loren are all so important to Zoey when she flat-out forgets them for stretches of time? How are we to believe that students dying and being kidnapped and being seen as zombie-vampires is terrifying and threatening when our oh-so-smart heroine can’t be bothered to think of them for most of the book? The characters don’t act like these things are serious, so the readers can’t buy it!

From what I can gather, the Cast ladies intended for there to be three storylines going on: the vampire-zombie mystery, the reforms to the school, and the ever-popular saga of Zoey and her Amazing Boyfriends. One would think that the vampire-zombie story would be the main one, but that’s shoved to the back. I understand wanting it to span across several books, but it’s possible to do that without completely neglecting it!

Finally, there’s the issue of pacing. Dear God in heaven, the pacing. The story doesn’t follow a defined structure, so much as plod limply along a vague path. The only way the “plot” stretches out is by forcing the characters to ignore or forget incredibly obvious things. Nothing will happen for huge spans of time, only for all of the action and exposition to be crammed into the last few chapters. In the case of Zoey’s amnesia, it doesn’t even serve a plot purpose, since it’s introduced and resolved at the very end! I can understand the need to draw out a mystery, but this is all incredibly ridiculous.

The bottom line is, for all that happens between this story and Marked, there was no reason to split them into two books. The Cast ladies could have easily written one slightly larger book, covering Zoey’s transformation into a vampire until her discovery that Neferet’s evil. It would make Zoey’s random angstings in this book about her having friends and being considered a freak make more sense, since we can see her development over a significant length of time. It would be a good way to show the development of Zoey’s reformations, as we watch her take control of the group and get it to work out. It would be an interesting way to show Aphrodite’s fall from grace and tie it to Neferet’s behavior. Breaking up the books, they both come out bland, empty, and disjointed. I suspect the main reason for the split was to make the “death” of Stevie Rae seem more meaningful. After all, if she was killed off in the first book, how could we possibly care about her? But that still doesn’t work here for two reasons. The first, obviously, is because she has practically no character development beyond being Zoey’s hanger-on-er. The second is because the “surprise” of her dying? It lasted THREE CHAPTERS! And it only lasted that long because the chapters were padded with Zoey stumbling around, being useless. If she died and then we went into the next book thinking she was dead, that would be significant. But no, the Cast ladies simply couldn’t wait to show us this stunning… erm, twist.

I’ll finish off by bringing up the writing here, instead of giving it its own section, because there really wasn’t any change. The characters still talk in
ways that (A) sound not even remotely like an actual teenager and (B) are filled with unfortunate implications. Zoey’s narrative voice still swings drunkenly between sounding like a teen parody and being faux-mystic/grown-up. And I swear by the dear lord above, if I never again read another character using the word “ho-ish”, it will be far too soon.

Characters: For the most part, I’m not going to re-examine the reoccurring characters here, mainly because there is virtually no change at all amongst them. Erin and Shaunee are still shallow, obnoxious, judgmental twits who might as well be named “Thing 1 and Thing 2”. Damien is still quite possibly the most offensively stereotypical gay teenage boy ever put to paper. The teachers hardly exist at all. The human characters are shown in the worst possible light, unless they completely and utterly kiss the vampire community’s collective ass. The only one who was remotely interesting or likable was Detective Marko, and he hardly shows up in the book!

In short, the… erm, diverse cast we have here is just as two-dimensional as in the last book. However there are still a handful of new characters to look at briefly as well as scant amounts of development in a few others, so let’s take a look at those!

Zoey Redbird - In my review of the last book, I found myself wondering exactly what it was the Cast ladies wanted to do with Zoey. Here, it’s all too obvious what they wanted. Zoey was supposed to be the ordinary girl with the ability to be great, who found Great Responsibility thrust upon her and must learn to cope. Unfortunately, what they actually wrote was a far worse character.

Zoey is, quite simply, an awful person. She’s horribly judgmental, constantly appraising the people she meets. Once she forms an opinion of them, that’s the Right Way to think of them, and anyone who disagrees is obviously Wrong. She’s also extremely shallow, judging people by their appearances and what they can give her, rather than their actual personalities (though, in all fairness, most of the people she meets have little to no personalities to judge). She surrounds herself with people who do nothing but praise her. Even when she’s supposed to be filling her student council with “deserving” students, basing membership on merit rather than how much brownnosing they do, she only chooses her friends and boyfriend! We’re supposed to buy that Zoey is a foil to Scary Sue Aphrodite, a flawed but generally good girl who tries hard and can go above and beyond. But we can’t, because all we see is that Zoey is catty, selfish, and just a bitch.

Of course, her horrible personality is accompanied by an equally bad trait - she’s a total idiot. I suppose it’d be unfair to harp too much on this, as it’s obviously a side effect of the plot problem. The Cast ladies want to spin out their story for nine million books, so they have to make Zoey utterly brainless and not curious in the slightest about the obviously suspicious things going on. But that doesn’t change the fact that we’re constantly told how Zoey is so smart. Zoey is so brave. Zoey was chosen by the frigging vampire goddess to figure out what all’s going on. And she can’t notice things like Neferet being incredibly strange? Even things like the vampire zombies, which practically drag a sign that says “I’M IMPORTANT, PAY ATTENTION TO ME!” are shoved to the back of her mind. There’s at least one point where Zoey actively says that she’s too tired to deal with the latest plot-related event, and deliberately tries to forget about it. There are multiple dreams and visions she has, which blatantly tell her who is dangerous, and she simply puts it out of mind. How are we supposed to take her seriously, when she constantly dismisses obvious warning signs, in favor of rubbing her temples and moaning about how hard life is? And what comes of it all? She isn’t forgetting plot-related stuff in favor of a long-term goal that she prefers to focus on. She has no long-term goals! She only focuses on whatever’s right in front of her! Well done, Cast ladies. You made your oh-so-wonderful heroine have the mental development of a small child. And yet, she’s the one with nine million responsibilities? Yeah, right.

Aphrodite - I maintain that Aphrodite is the only character in this book (or the series in general, thus far) to undergo anything resembling character development. In the first book, she was a two-dimensional Mean Girl, whose main character traits were being bitchy and being stomped on by Zoey.

In this book? She’s still a bitch, yeah, but she at least has hints of motivation. We can tell that she’s being pushed around by someone (an obvious someone to anyone with half a brain, but that’s more brain than what Zoey and company possess), and she’s obviously miserable and friendless. Her visions are making her aware of something terrible about to happen, but everyone has been told to ignore anything she says, because she’s losing her powers. We even find out about some of her past, with her emotionally abusive parents and dead roommate, and how she has to deal with all of that.

That Zoey and her friends are so dead-set against seeing anything about her as pitiable or redeemable just makes us feel even more sorry for her. These are the people who go on about redemption and forgiveness, yet they can’t believe that Aphrodite would do anything remotely nice for anyone. I suppose the readers are supposed to be surprised by the reveal of Aphrodite’s real nature, but it’s handled just as clumsily as everything else and thus is incredibly obvious. Instead of Zoey’s distrust of Aphrodite coming across as justified, it just makes Zoey look stupid and mean-spirited.

Neferet - Neferet was meant to be our “wham” villain, the one who steps out of the shadows and completely shocks everyone, because it’s so unexpected. We’re supposed to have seen her built up as this Big Good, this great mentor and surrogate mother to Zoey, only for her to turn up totally evil.

Yeah. We know about how well that turned out.

The first issue is that like every other character here, we don’t know Neferet. Oh, the Cast ladies try to have us know her, God knows. We get some of her backstory, and we get her having a few talks with Zoey. But the fact remains that Zoey has known her for a month or so. The readers have seen even less of her. We don’t see a strong bond of trust and loyalty built between Zoey and her, and thus her reveal means little.

The second issue is with the small amount of time we have seen her, before the reveal. Let us review. In the last book, Neferet gave a long talk about how humans are stupid and worthless and how Zoey and fledglings in general should just cut all ties to them, including any remaining human family members. In this book, she spends all of her time trying to convince Zoey to turn her back on humans. She insists humans would never accept their help with a cat shelter. She argues that it must be anti-vampire propaganda behind the string of deaths, even though no one really is acting on an anti-vampire agenda. She continuously butts in and interferes when the police investigate the school, making herself completely suspicious. That’s not even counting the fact that Zoey’s Deus Ex Machina senses constantly go off around her, and there were several dreams and visions showing her as being in league with the red-eyed vampires.

So why, precisely, were we supposed to be surprised that she turned out evil?Neferet was never a benevolent, sweet High Priestess. She was nothing more than a self-centered, smug, anti-human asshole. Obviously Zoey never realized that until the very end, because Zoey has no brain cells, but if the readers also weren’t supposed to notice it, that doesn’t mean Neferet was ever sympathetic. Knowing that she hates humans and is supposed to be the villain is one thing. Without that knowledge, so far as we know, she’s an anti-human bitch who we’re supposed to see as a source of wisdom and guidance.

Given how unsubtle it is, the only thing about her that’s surprising is that no one caught on sooner than they have.

Stevie Rae - Stevie Rae herself gets very little change in character in this book. She’s still a painful stereotype of a southern yokel whose sole purpose is being Zoey’s main ass-kisser. However this book does mark the point where her role will begin to change, so let’s have a look at the part that starts it - her death.

I already mentioned how the “mystery” about her death is resolved too fast for anything to come of it. In fact, “rushed” could describe the entirety of the whole matter. Her death comes completely out of left field, but okay, I could buy that. The fledgling deaths are supposed to be fast and unexpected. I can’t buy how obvious the signs are, with Stevie Rae hacking up her lungs and looking sickly, with her alleged best friends not noticing, but we’ve already seen these aren’t the brightest of people.

What I also can’t buy is how Zoey and Co are just allowed to poke their noses into her death and basically have a completely over-the-top bedside session that would be rejected in the Pit of Voles on the grounds that it’s too sappy.

For starters, it’s been established that the vampire teachers encourage students to get over the deaths of their classmates as quickly as possible, with the implication that they simply didn‘t care that the students dropped dead early. Granted this was only brought up once, in the last book, but it was a good point. It was an actual flaw in the vampire world, and it made sense, since we find out here that Neferet was causing the dead fledglings to come back as zombie-vampires.

Now, we finally get a chance to show how devastating that is. Zoey’s best friend dies, and no one is supposed to show sorrow. In fact, they’re supposed to act like it meant nothing to them. That’s how it’s gone on with so many other students, and as Aphrodite has proven, there have been friends who were put through a lot of anguish over it. This could have been a great point for character development, with Zoey fighting against other students who are so apathetic. This could have been a fantastic way to show how the House of Night isn’t as perfect as it appeared. But what do we get? Zoey declares that Stevie Rae’s death will be different, because if it’s her friend who dies, of course that’s exceptional! After that, we just get too many pages of Zoey’s friends feeding and caring for her like she’s a child, until the plot intervenes. Nothing comes of it.

The same goes for the brief time we see Stevie Rae as a red-eyed ghost here. Yes, yes, I know this was setting up for the next books. The fact remains, we’re getting this all in the second-to-last chapter. There’s no buildup as to how strange and different Stevie Rae now is, besides the emphasis on how she’s now terrible-smelling and ugly (fates most terrible in this series, it seems). All the stuff she does to prove how “evil” she is (kidnapping Heath, etc) is all offscreen, so Zoey doesn’t have to face that her best friend is doing terrible things. And given how Stevie Rae will become very prominent as the series goes on, it also feels as if the Cast ladies just wanted to avoid having a leading character be anything less than perfectly moral.

Heath Luck - In Marked, Heath was hilarious in how pathetic he was. The only points he served were introducing Zoey’s bloodlust and causing the climax to kick off, both of which began with him stumbling in drunkenly.

In this book, Heath is no longer funny. Now, he is quite disturbing, in multiple ways.

Let’s start by taking a look at his precise relationship with Zoey. We’re told that they used to love each other. Childhood sweethearts and all that fun stuff. Okay, fair enough. That’s a decent set-up for a romance. The thing is, like with most other aspects of this story, it never comes up unless it’s immediately relevant. There’s very little set-up to Zoey and Heath’s past romance, and thus the idea that the two are so very connected falls flat. Couple that with the fact that Zoey spent almost all of the last book extremely annoyed with him, and it’s really hard to buy that they used to be very lovey-dovey.

So what do the Cast ladies show their relationship as? Well, he loves the feeling of her sucking his blood. It gives him a high, and he’s willing to do potentially dangerous things (cutting his own neck, yo!!!) to experience it. Zoey loves the taste of his blood. It givse her a high, and she continues to do so, in spite of the fact that the thought of drinking blood is revolting to her.

The pair were written to be soul mates. What they actually ended up as were a couple of addicts, using each other for their fixes.

What makes it all so disturbing to read is how little free will the two exhibit around one another. Heath continuously cuts himself because he has imprinted on her, which makes him slavishly devoted to her. He hallucinates her, texts her endlessly, and can’t stop thinking about her. That is not a man who is romantically devoted to his sweetheart. That is a mentally-disturbed person who is going headlong into stalker with a crush territory.

Meanwhile, as unbalanced as he is, Heath still acts in incredibly devious ways. He repeatedly insists that it’s fine for Zoey to drink his blood, even while she cries and begs him not to tempt her. He cuts himself knowing full well she can’t resist. He essentially tells her “I know what you want better than you do!” There’s really no pleasant way to describe it, so I’ll use what TV Tropes has used - He is basically slipping her roofies so she’ll sex him up. No amount of talk of mental bonds or blood or euphoria or supernatural reasoning will change that fact.

On another note, it should be brought up that imprinting is talked about in a supplementary book, The Fledgling Handbook 101. We’ll be looking at it later, but for now, rest assured that vampire students like Zoey are told just how bad consequences can come about from imprinting, and thus why they are seriously urged to consider their “mates” carefully when they do so. That Zoey doesn’t take this all seriously and tell someone what’s going on (not even Heath’s own parents) just shows how irresponsible she is. It also shows how unrealistic and ridiculous the story is, because a teenage girl marrying her high school boyfriend on some spiritual plane is shown not as a bad decision, but as True Love and something she should keep up with.

Erik Night - Throughout this book, I just felt incredible pity for Erik. He went from dating a girl who tried to molest him to dating a girl who pretends to have the higher moral ground, but instead constantly cheats on him.

I will just flat-out say here that he and Zoey have no relationship. They got together in the first book only because the Cast ladies decreed it, and his only value to Zoey is how hot he is and sensitive he is. No value is given to him as a person. He might as well be a plush toy for Zoey to cuddle with when it’s convenient. In this book, he’s put out of commission for most of it, simply so Zoey can run around with other guys, in his absence. The situation is almost exactly the stereotype of the housewife who has multiple affairs while her husband is on a business trip. It just makes Erik incredibly pitiable. It also makes it even more incomprehensible that he talks about going as far as to possibly marry Zoey when, even barring the cheating, they still hardly know each other!

Given how quickly Erik is getting phased out, it just makes me wonder why hooking up with him was such a huge part of the “plot” of Marked. It had very little impact on Betrayed, save for making Zoey look even more vile than she otherwise looks. The whole thing feels like the Cast ladies were writing a new season for a soap opera, and decided to introduce a few new love interests while making the boyfriend be out of town, just for cheap, quick drama.

Jack Twist and Dallas - I’m not putting those two together because they’ve got any sort of relationship, but for two other reasons. The first is that both were simply shoved in at the end of the book, allowing for little to no development and thus very little to actually look at in this review. The other is that they both represent an issue that I fear will show up more than once in this series.

Jack, like ninety percent of the other characters, is just another walking stereotype. Like Damian, he’s entirely defined by his homosexuality. In this case though, it’s even more offensive because he gets even less depth than Damian! As much of a stereotype as Damian is, at least there was some attempts to give him a backstory and more traits than “he’s into men”. Jack? We know nothing about him. Even though Zoey seems to accept him into her circle of friends, she makes no attempt to know him and thus, our knowledge of him boils down to:

- He is praised by Zoey for being helpful at doing various tasks she sets

- He is described as being soft, doe-eyed, and have a generally quiet demeanor

- He instantly latches onto Damian, after hardly knowing the guy

So, what can we get from this? Well, we get even more unfortunate implications from the Cast ladies, in regards to homosexual men. Notice that Damien and Jack are described in the same way - in very feminine terms. Both are gentle and soft-spoken and far from what you’d call manly men. In the case of Damien, he is explicitly said to enjoy activities that are traditionally feminine (cross-stitching, for instance) and is gifted a power type normally reserved for women. And those two are the only male characters shown like this. Heath and even Erik, who’s supposed to be the gentle artist type, are shown in the stereotypical masculine role of the protectors of women. We were told before that it’s “proper” for men to be the guardians and defenders. We don’t see any other guys who act submissively or are feminine and still straight. Inversely, all this seems to be saying is that gay men can’t possibly be as “manly” as straight men. Thank you for that, Cast ladies. That’s just the stereotype we need spread around.

This leads to the other point. Please tell me why, exactly, Damien hooked up with Jack? We hear or see nothing of what they have in common. They just start making eyes at each other and following each other around, the moment they meet! They got together on the basis that they both were gay, and we’re supposed to believe that it’s a Deep, Meaningful relationship. Really!

Dallas pretty much serves the same purpose. He spends all of a handful of pages obviously pining after Stevie Rae, after showing up out of flipping nowhere. I could buy that he was acting on a teenage crush, but Zoey later treats him like his love for Stevie Rae was Deep and Significant. Other than that, he served no purpose to the story. He was just a placeholder, used to show that there were people outside of Zoey’s little group who gave a crap about Stevie Rae’s death.

Loren Blake - Loren Blake is a creep. That about sums him up in a nutshell.

Like the other men Zoey shows an interest in, his only selling points are that he’s hot and he feeds her romantic lines. There is absolutely nothing deeper to their relationship. And in this case, it makes the whole thing infinitely creepier. It’s one thing to write a teenage girl and a teenage boy flirting with each other while having no connections other than lust. It’s quite another to write an of-age teacher flirting with a teenage student, while having no connections other than lust.

We’re supposed to see his behavior not as creepy or icky, though. We’re supposed to believe that it’s flattering. That a guy is treating Zoey as an adult, and not a little kid. This doesn’t work, mainly because Zoey is more or less a little kid. I pointed out above her inability to remember something that isn’t right in front of her, but let’s look at this from another angle. When she talks about wanting to be in a relationship with Blake, she can not comprehend why someone would object to their relationship. She can only imagine that it’s considered socially inappropriate for a teacher to date a student, and can’t seem to figure out anything else.

So not only is Blake trying to seduce an underage girl who is a student, he’s also going after a girl who is clearly unable to fully comprehend the situation and respond appropriately.

Adding to the creepiness, this is all the first time Blake has made any sort of an appearance. He gets a very brief mention in the first book, but that’s it. He has had no prior interactions with Zoey, so it’s impossible to buy his actions towards her as an attraction that grew from friendship or a mentor’s love for a student. Instead, he’s just a guy who, totally out of the blue, starts heavily flirting with a girl he’s had no prior interactions with.

To cap it all off, we also have our intelligence insulted with him, just like with Neferet. A clue to the Cast ladies - if you want to hint that a character is evil, don’t show a dream of him and another character messily devouring people who have previously been murdered. Just because Zoey is too clueless to cotton on doesn’t mean the readers are!

Other Issues: It’s incredibly obvious since the start of this series that the Cast ladies have been trying to make this all a feminist adventure. It’s also obvious that they just managed to fill it with just as many unfortunate implications as anything else. Thus far, all we’ve seen is that vampire society strictly enforces gender roles, dictating what positions and powers are acceptable for women and for men. We’ve also seen that all attempts to make Zoey a Stronge Female Protagonist fail because she’s so utterly oblivious, stupid, and insensitive that it doesn’t matter that she can control the elements or has the favor of Nyx.

Here, we see yet another issue crop up. As I said above, most of the story is about Zoey juggling which of the three men in her life she likes the most. The whole thing is supposed to be about conflicting emotions, but let us take a look at what’s going on

She is literally addicted to Heath (or rather, Heath’s blood), which he uses to manipulate her into drinking from him. In other words, he drugs his girlfriend into doing something that gives him a high, and excuses it by saying he knows Zoey wants it, and just is too embarrassed to admit it.

She always loses focus of whatever she’s doing when Loren Blake comes around. Spoilers for the next book - he’s doing this on purpose. In other words, he is seducing Zoey so that she’s so overcome by his advances that she can’t properly do her duties as High Priestess in Training.

She is unable to focus on important issues (like the High Priestess training, or the red-eyed vampires) because she is angsting over which boy she wants to choose.

She is unable to control herself around any of the three of them, constantly gushing purple prose about how she loves whichever one she’s currently with more than anyone in the world, and she simply can’t imagine life without them.

So to sum up the above? Zoey is overly-emotional, easily manipulated, and constantly focused on the men in her life.

I can understand somewhat of a focus on romance. I’m not saying that having a boyfriend automatically discredit’s a female character from being interesting or strong or a good role model, I really am not. But as we see in the books, Zoey’s obsession with these men overtakes everything else, including what we’ll later see is Neferet’s evil plan to wreak havoc. The way she is manipulated by their affections for her just come across as disturbing and infuriating, as she puts it all ahead of things that are obviously important and in need of immediate attention.

And given how everyone else in her group view her romances as so important as well as how this all continues, apparently we’re supposed to see this as normal and desirable behavior from our Strong Female Protagonist. Perhaps the Cast ladies were going for the idea that Zoey showed feminine empowerment through open enjoyment of sexual things. Or heck, maybe they were indulging in their own wish fulfillment. Whichever the case, it doesn’t work. Zoey’s extremely judgmental attitude towards other women who engage in sexual activity (Aphrodite, anyone?) and even occasionally towards herself (for instance, in Marked, when she kisses Erik and chids herself for being like the other “ho” girls) ruins the idea that the series is supportive of that aspect of female empowerment. And the fact that the romance is so arbitrary, so bland, and serves no purpose save to pad the book takes away the argument that it’s just a little fantasy. A little bit of fantasy is fine in a book, but not when it sacrifices plot and character development!

As for the other themes we’re to buy? Well, there’s the whole part about light not being good and dark not being evil. But that’s borked by how the bad guys are obviously evil. There’s no surprise in that! Not to mention that Nyx’s oh-so-wise words are hardly a huge revelation. There’s two tropes dedicated to those very concepts! If anything, it just highlights how shallow and stupid Zoey is, if she needs a goddess to personally inform her to look beyond initial appearances to understand the true nature of something or someone.

Finally, there’s the moral of the importance of one’s friends. But given how this is an Ariana Black-like romp, there’s very little weight to that moral. All of Zoey’s friends just mindlessly agree with her, and there’s never any falling out or disagreement to test their friendship. Inversely, we see how Zoey treats her former friend, Kayla, for the “crime” of taking Zoey’s threat to kill her seriously. Zoey and her friends, who don’t even know the girl, call her “skank bitch Kayla” and heap scorn upon her for going to the police. Need I say more?

Final Thoughts: While the Cast ladies were obviously trying to step it up with this book, the action has yet to kick off. In fact, it’s just sort of sitting in the same place, flailing madly. The pacing and lack of character development are still seriously hindering a concept that really has a ton of unmined potential. Maybe later books will rise to the challenge, but at the rate this is going at? I highly doubt it.

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And lo, we have but our spite fics to go, before coming to the end of the second book of the House of Night series. This is far from over, though. Strap in, ladies and gentlemen, because our next sporking has been Chosen!

Onward to: Spite Fics

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