zelda_queen | Crescendo: Chapter 12 (Part 3) (Reply)

ZeldaQueen: Finally, we lay this dreadful chapter to rest! Be warned - this section gives us Patch being a manipulative bastard and Nora being at her most spineless.

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Chapter 12 (Part 3)

So Nora is on the roof, trying to figure out what to do, when Patch comes out to the yard. Oh Jesus, this ought to be good. He dials someone on his cell phone, and of course Nora’s phone goes off. And thus, he sees his girlfriend, the love of his life, the woman he loves more than anyone in the world, stranded on a roof. What is his response to her plight?

“’And here I thought they were called Peeping Toms.’ I didn’t need to see him to know he wore a smile”

ZeldaQueen: So nice of him to always laugh at her misfortune, huh?

Nora’s cheeks start to burn, and between this and that sex ed class back in the first book, I’m wondering if Fitzpatrick actually has some sort of humiliation kink. Nora asks Patch to help her get down. His fantastic response?

He tells her to jump.

No, seriously. She’s stuck on the roof, freaking out from the height, and he tells her to jump. And don’t worry, he’ll catch her! After all, he’s been SO FUCKING TRUSTWORTHY thus far! I personally would rather sit on the roof all night. Even if I wasn’t jumping at that fucker, it’s not a simple thing to jump off a roof and be caught by someone. You’re coming to a sudden halt there, so either the person catching you falls over, or you get a nasty jostling.

Oh, and on top of that? There are plenty of other options. Nora tells him to just open the damned window or to bring a ladder, both of which ways would allow her to get off the roof without providing material for America’s Funniest Home Videos. But no, he insists that he doesn’t need to do either of them (you don’t need to make her jump either, asshole!) and starts to walk away.

Nora calls him a jerk, which of course is meant in the cutesy romantic comedy way, and not in the sense that he actually is one (like he is). Patch replies that at least he wasn’t the one peeking into windows. No, you’re the one mind-raping people in their sleep. That’s obviously much higher moral ground there. Nora struggles to come up with a way to spin what she was doing to make herself look good, and finds it’s quite impossible. Finally, something logical!

Patch finally realizes that his girlfriend was breaking into someone else’s room and rooting through their stuff. Naturally, he laughs at this. Are we surprised that he finds breaking in and entering to be hilarious? No, we are not. Nora throws the hat at him, and I need a very brief spite fic!

I yanked Patch’s ball cap out of my back pocket and flung it at him. “And here’s your stupid hat back, by the way!”

“You went in for my hat?”

“A big waste, obviously!”

Patch gave me a strange look. “Why did you feel like you needed to get my hat? It wasn’t stolen from me. I chose to give it to Marcie.”

“I…um…”

“Do you think I’m not capable of making my own decisions about that sort of thing?” he asked. “You have got one messed-up logic process, Angel.”

ZeldaQueen: Out of character for Patch, yes, but he was the one on hand.

Of course, that never happens. Instead, Patch again asks her if she is going to jump. I need to respond to this with another brief spite fic

He fit the hat to his head. “Are you going to jump?”

“Are you high?” I snapped. “Do I look like I want to jump off anyone’s roof tonight, when you can just as easily open the window next to me?”

“You know I’d catch you.”

“Yes, because you’ve proven yourself to be so trustworthy lately! Not to mention that I’m still going to be falling fast, no matter what I hit. Unless you’ve got a mattress hidden under your coat, I doubt my fall would be cushioned much!”

Patch scowled. “No need to be rude, I just -”

“No, apparently there is need to be rude,” I interrupted. “It seems to be the only way to get through your thick skull, since you just won’t listen! Jesus Christ, how do they say ‘No’ in your language?”

ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, that was satisfying!

And again, we don’t get that. Instead, Nora sidesteps his question and asks why he called her. He insists that he wanted to check on her and make sure ~~no one was gandering at his ward~~ that she was doing alright. There’s a very telling bit, where Nora says how he sounds sincere, but she knows he’s a fantastic liar. That’s always a good trait for one’s significant other to have, wouldn’t you say? Especially when one’s significant other lied to get one into a motel and attacked them.

ZeldaQueen: Nora then asks about the Cherry Coke. Apparently it was meant to be a “peace offering”, which I guess is why Patch couldn’t be arsed to give it to Nora face-to-face and actually say he was sorry! Which reminds me, this would be a perfect time for Nora to bring a little something up. Wasn’t it just yesterday that “Patch” sent Nora an apology letter that knocked her out? If Fitzpatrick wanted to tie things together, this would be when Nora says “And what about that card? Was knocking me unconscious also a peace offering?” which would get things moving. And since that makes sense, naturally Nora doesn’t ask it. Instead, we get an exchange that is so disgusting, I need to spork it.

---

Patch tucked a stray curl behind my ear. “Do you want to go back to the party?” he murmured.

I shook my head no.

ZeldaQueen: As opposed to shaking her head “yes”. Jesus Christ, what is with Suethors feeling the need to specify that?

And is it just me, or does this scene have a Twilight-esque, creepy parental vibe? I half expect him to put her in a car seat, drive her home, and tuck her in for the night.

“I’ll drive you home.” He used his chin to gesture at the Jeep, because he still hadn’t unfolded his arms from around me.

ZeldaQueen: First of all, that last sentence was totally unnecessary. We know Patch drives a Jeep. It’s been repeated multiple times. If he says he’s going to drive Nora home, we’re going to know he’s talking about his Jeep, and not some other car he might magically pull out of his angelic asshole. Unless we’re to take it that it’s Nora who’s too stupid to realize what he’s talking about. That I can believe.

Second of all, isn’t that great, him pronouncing how he’ll take her home. I don’t suppose she gets a choice in the matter, huh? How hard would it have been to have him say “Do you have a ride home? Do you need me to give you a lift?”

“I came with Vee,” I said. “I should catch a ride with her.”

ZeldaQueen: Nonsense! Vee isn’t a hawt slice of angelic beefcake! Who has time for her?

“Vee’s not going to pick up Chinese takeout on the way home.”

ZeldaQueen: That too.

And again, was he planning on telling her this? They aren’t supposed to be dating. The last time he saw Nora, she was screaming at him to get out of her life. He shouldn’t know she’s having idiotic second thoughts. So why is he making these spontaneous, secret plans to take her out for food?

Oh yeah, it’s because he’s a douche. Never mind, carry on!

Chinese takeout. That would involve Patch coming inside the farmhouse to eat. My mom wasn’t home, which meant we would be all alone….

ZeldaQueen: And of course, Nora has as much respect for her mother’s house rules as Bella does for her father’s. Nora, dearest, did you forget that you mother doesn’t want you seeing him while she’s away? And this isn’t sneaking out with him, this is bringing him into the house. Do you have any idea how horrifying your mother would likely find that idea? I know I’d have a heart attack at the thought!

Hell, I’d say by this point Nora has even less regard for her own safety than Bella does. Yes, she let Edward in the house blatantly against what her dad said, but Edward never actually came inside planning on killing her! If you’ll recall the last book (which Nora apparently can’t), Patch openly admitted to going into her house under the pretext of making tacos so he could STAB HER WITH THE KNIFE, GOD DAMN!

I let my guard slide a little further.

ZeldaQueen: Babe, you’re about as guarded as a Port-A-Potty.

Probably we were safe. Probably the archangels were nowhere close.

ZeldaQueen: Probably it wasn’t Victoria trying to kill Bella!

Patch didn’t seem worried, so neither should I. And it was just dinner. I’d had a long, unsatisfying day at school, and I was famished from an hour at the gym.

ZeldaQueen: Which is funny, since we know zippo about how your day at school went (besides that it was only a few hours, hardly a day), and had no frigging clue that you went to the gym ever.

Takeout with Patch sounded perfect.

ZeldaQueen: Now me, I’d say taking out Patch would sound perfect. Preferably with a bazooka.

How was a casual dinner together going to hurt? People ate dinner together all the time and never carried it further.

ZeldaQueen: I’d like to bring up that Nora does this all the time, and I absolutely hate it. She just rambles and rambles and just sounds so fucking fake, trying to convince herself of something. She has no conviction at all! If it wasn’t so late in the book, I’d start a Spineless Doormat count.

“Just dinner,” I said, more to convince myself than Patch

.ZeldaQueen: I know this is supposed to be her not wanting to take it farther for fear of the angels, but it sounds like she’s scared he’ll molest her if she lets him inside. Thanks, that’s a great image.

And you stupid dipshit, don’t you learn?!? Doing this sort of stuff doesn’t work, because you have. No. SELF. CONTROL!!!!!

He gave the Boy Scout salute, but his smile was up to no good. A bad boy’s smile. The wicked, charming smile of a guy who’d kissed Marcie a mere two nights ago …

ZeldaQueen: Question - how come Nora can remember that, but not what happened to her the previous night?

and was offering to have dinner with me tonight, most likely with the hope that dinner would lead to something else entirely.

ZeldaQueen: And that just makes my previous observation even creepier. Thanks, I appreciate that.

He thought one heart-melting smile was all it would take to erase my hurt. To make me forget he’d kissed Marcie.

ZeldaQueen: Yeah, and for good reason. As we’re going to see, it does!

All my inner turmoil scattered as I was jerked to the present. My speculations died, replaced by a sudden, strong feeling of unease that had nothing to do with Patch, or Sunday night.

ZeldaQueen: Aaaaand, it all melted away. Nora’s sieve-like brain in action, folks!

Goose bumps prickled my skin. I studied the shadows ringing the lawn.

“Mmm?” Patch murmured, detecting my concern, tightening his arms protectively around me.

ZeldaQueen: Oh, fuck off! I’m not going to think you’re such a wonderfully protective boyfriend after all you did in the last book!

And then I felt it again. A change in the air.

ZeldaQueen: Patch let one rip.

An invisible fog, strangely warm, hanging low, pressing all around, zigzagging closer like a hundred stealthy snakes in the air.

ZeldaQueen: Umm… see previous comment.

The sensation was so disruptive, I had a hard time believing Patch hadn’t at least noticed something was off, even if he couldn’t feel it directly.

ZeldaQueen: Why? If you imagined it, which you seem happy to believe you did with most of the stuff going on, how could he notice?

“What is it, Angel?” His voice was low, questioning.

“Are we safe?”

“Does it matter?”

ZeldaQueen: *holds head* Considering how she nearly died before, because she wasn’t safe, YES I’D SAY IT FUCKING DOES!

I shifted my eyes around the yard. I wasn’t sure why, but I kept thinking, The archangels. They’re here. “I mean … the archangels,” I said, so quietly I barely heard my own voice.

“Aren’t they watching?”

“Yes.”

ZeldaQueen: Wait…they’re…hiding in the yard? They’re actually there, watching? The highest class of angels seriously have got nothing better to do than follow this fucker around and watch him cuddle with his girlfriend?

I’m going to be repeating this quite a lot in the chapters to follow, but the archangels are fucking morons. Not to mention, aren’t angels supposed to be omnipotent? Can’t they keep an eye on Patch from Heaven, or wherever?

I tried to step back, but Patch refused to let me.

ZeldaQueen: That’s…really telling there.

“I don’t care what they see. I’m tired of the charade.” He’d stopped nuzzling my neck, and I saw a certain tormented defiance in his eyes.

ZeldaQueen: First of all, what charade? You NEVER pretend to be over Nora! Every time you see her, you’re touching her or grabbing at her or flirting with her! No freaking wonder the archangels are still suspicious of you!

Second of all, “tormented defiance”. *flatly* Wow. I’m so sympathetic towards Patch. The way the archangels won’t let him near the girl he spent the last book emotionally torturing and stalking, that’s just so damned unfair.

I struggled harder to pull away. “Let go.”

ZeldaQueen: Okay Nora, this is where you let loose the pepper spray and scream “FIRE!”

“You don’t want me?” His smile was all fox.

ZeldaQueen: I DON’T WANT YOU! WHY AREN’T MY THOUGHTS BEING CONSIDERED HERE?

“That’s not the issue.

ZeldaQueen: Even if it was, it wouldn’t matter. Nora already told him she wanted him gone, and here he is. He doesn’t care if she wants him around or not.

I don’t want to be responsible for anything happening to you. Let go.”

ZeldaQueen: Then don’t be. Nora, dearest, I know this might be a difficult concept for you to grasp, but Patch is capable of being responsible for his own actions. His history has been one long line of him flipping off authority figures, because he’s too good for that sort of thing. He did this once before, when he decided he wanted to be with that nameless peasant girl. Obviously, he doesn’t care. I can understand wanting to protect someone you love, but if your darling dearest didn’t learn his lesson after five hundred years or so, I doubt you can do anything to get it through his thick head now.

How could he be so casual about this? They were hunting for an excuse to get rid of him. He couldn’t be seen holding me.

ZeldaQueen: I repeat, he doesn’t care. How stupid do you think Patch is, if he hasn't realized this all, already? (I mean besides the unintentional stupidity, but that's an entirely different issue).

He caressed the sides of my arms,

ZeldaQueen: (Patch) "You're so cute when you struggle!"

... I'm incredibly sorry.

but as I tried to take the opportunity to break away, he caught my hands.

ZeldaQueen: Okay, this is well into disturbing territory now. This is not cute or sweet. She wants you to let go, you bastard! Jesus! Just because you don't agree with the reasons for it doesn't give you any right to not let go!

His voice broke into my mind.

ZeldaQueen: Just...because he can, I guess. Or can the oh-so-powerful archangels not read minds?

I could go rogue. I could walk away right now, and we could stop playing by the archangels’ rules.

ZeldaQueen: You know, rules like "Do your job" or "Stop harassing that girl you tried to murder"! Stupid ones, like those!

He said it so decidedly, so easily, I knew this wasn’t the first time he’d thought it. This was a plan he’d secretly fantasized about many, many times.

ZeldaQueen: Yes, he did! He did it already, WHEN HE FELL THE FIRST TIME! Don't you remember ANYTHING about the first book? HE TOLD YOU! He wanted to be with a human girl, so he let himself get kicked out of Heaven! And how did that turn out? He hated it!!!!

My heart was beating wildly. Walk away? Stop playing by the rules? “What are you talking about?”

ZeldaQueen: July and Christmas, what do you think, you brainless nit?

I’d live on the move, constantly hiding, hoping the archangels don’t find me.

ZeldaQueen: That sounds like Charles Starkweather running off with Caril Ann Fugate, if you ask me.

“If they did?”

I’d go to trial. I’d be found guilty, but it would give us a few weeks alone, while they deliberated.

ZeldaQueen: These are very considerate archangels, apparently, if they'll let him and Nora just run off together while they take several weeks to decide whether or not to punish him for committing the same crime twice. Or are we meant to assume that it would take them two weeks to decide to go after him to begin with?

I could feel the stricken look on my face. “And then?”

They’d send me to hell.

ZeldaQueen: GOOD!

Though I must ask, if Hell exists, why are fallen angels left to run around on Earth creating more and more Nephilim? We’re going to find out that the angels hate the Nephilim for…some reason or another, so why are they letting the fallen angels make more of them? The original Watchers were punished and prevented from doing so, weren’t they? So why aren’t these morons? Are the all-powerful angels just not able to find them? Jesus!

He paused, then added with quiet conviction, I’m not afraid of hell. I deserve what’s coming. I’ve lied, cheated, deceived. I’ve hurt innocent people. I’ve made more mistakes than I can remember. One way or another, I’ve been paying for them most of my existence. Hell won’t be any different. His mouth quirked into a brief, wry smile. But I’m sure the archangels have a few cards up their sleeves. His smile faded, and he looked at me with stripped honesty. Being with you never felt wrong. It’s the one thing I did right. You’re the one thing I did right. I don’t care about the archangels. Tell me what you want me to do. Say the word. I’ll do whatever you want. We can leave right now.

ZeldaQueen: Take that all in, folks. Take that all in.

Patch. You manipulative shit. I just... I am at a loss for words, here. That right there is prime Sin Thine Ass Off material. This is the first and only time he's said something like this, and it's obvious he doesn't mean it. Let’s just…let’s just break this down, shall we?

“I’m not afraid of hell.”

ZeldaQueen: I’m sure you’re not, Patch. Your creator has already promised that you’ll get a happy ending, along with your darling-dearest. There’s no way she’d dare leave you to suffer something as stupid as punishment!

“I deserve what’s coming. I’ve lied, cheated, deceived. I’ve hurt innocent people. I’ve made more mistakes than I can remember”

ZeldaQueen: Funny how he’s skirting around the big crimes he’s committed. Let’s take a look at a few of those.

He’s committed rape, at the very least in the sense that he stole Jules’s body for several centuries. There was obviously no consent involved, and the “deal” was made after Patch forced him into it. That’s not counting if Patch used Jules to have sex with unsuspecting women, which would be rape by virtue of forcing Jules to sleep with someone via body jacking and rape by concealed identity (said woman almost certainly wouldn’t know she’s actually banging a fallen angel).

He’s a stalker. By his own admittance, he spied on Nora for a good, long while before deciding he loved her. Up until then, he’d been stalking her with an intent to kill. Isn’t that romantic? It also leads us to our next point…

He’s attempted to commit murder. Like the stalking, this is not me reading the between the lines. He openly admitted to Nora that he’d been planning to kill her at least twice. He also had been attempting to murder Jules in the process, since Nora’s death would also cause Jules to die. I suppose one could argue that Nephilim don’t count, since the angels don’t like them. Who cares, after all, that the Nephilim obviously have human minds and feelings?

That’s not touching on the fact that his every thought and action, since he fell up until now, has been fueled by lust. Most, if not all, of his motivations in the first book were motivated by greed. Considering how hot-blooded he is, and how he’s constantly spoiling for a fight, I’d say he’s also pretty fond of the sin of wrath. And I’d say he’s more than a little proud, especially since he obviously considers himself above the rules of fucking Heaven and Hell. In other words, even if you (somehow) overlook the above? We still have here an angel who is overrun by at least four of the Seven Deadly Sins.

And on the pride issue? Yeah, take a good look at that. We’re not supposed to be agreeing with this. We’re supposed to be going “Those horrible archangels, unfairly persecuting him! Don’t they see that he’s a changed man?” We’re supposed to disagree with someone trying to hold Patch down to punishment for his many, many heinous crimes.

No. It doesn’t work like that. Leaving aside the fact that it’s blatantly obvious that Patch hasn’t changed, you don’t get off the hook for crimes just by crying crocodile tears. If I went out and shot a guy, and then got caught ten years later, I’m not going to get off by going “But I’ve changed! Really! I feel real bad about it now!” That’s not how it works.

“But I’m sure the archangels have a few cards up their sleeves”

ZeldaQueen: Good. And if they run out of ideas, I’m sure the viewers out there have more than enough imagination to pick up the slack.

“Being with you never felt wrong. It’s the one thing I did right. You’re the one thing I did right”

ZeldaQueen: *flatly* Yes, I’m sure she is the one thing you did right. You did a fine job breaking her and molding her in the sort of girl you wanted, didn’t you?

It “never felt wrong”? Oh, that’s a great fucking sign that hooking up with her was right! I’m sure plenty of terrible things don’t “feel wrong”, but that doesn’t make them right! In fact, given what an obvious sociopath you are, I’d say how you feel about this all is irrelevant! You clearly never have Nora’s best interests in mind! And for proof of that, she the above-mentioned cases of stalking and attempted murder!

It took a moment for his words to settle in. I looked to the Jeep. The wall of ice between us fell away. The wall was only there because of the archangels. Without them, everything Patch and I had been fighting over meant nothing. They were the problem.

ZeldaQueen: Again, it looks like all it took was one winning smile from Patch, and Nora’s all over the whole kissing Marcie thing. Interesting double standard, that she constantly forgives Patch and not Marcie. I guess Marcie isn’t a hot guy.

In fact, way to absolve Patch of everything you’ve been angry at him for! It’s not like you’ve been fighting because you thought he was a jerk who stole your dad’s ring, or because you hated him going into your dreams, or because you thought he drugged you! Oh no, all of your relationship problems are from the archangels, and were it not for them, you’d have no hitches at all!

I wanted to leave them, and everything else, behind and race off with Patch. I wanted to be reckless; thinking only of right here, right now. We could make each other forget about consequences. We’d laugh at rules, boundaries, and most of all, tomorrow. There would only be me and Patch, and nothing else would matter.

ZeldaQueen: At least until you grew up and realized that you and Patch have no common interests and never do anything remotely interesting. Or what, did you expect to spend weeks on end kissing?

And that’s really all I can say, because that just makes me want to vomit. When Nora’s not being a spineless doormat, she’s being an arrogant little fucker who obviously is a good match for Patch.

Nothing but the promise of what would happen when those weeks drew to a close.

ZeldaQueen: Which obviously only extends to Patch going to Hell.

*steeples fingers* I’m going to now lay out exactly what Nora would have to give up to run away for several weeks, which Fitzpatrick herself obviously has not thought out.

She would have to abandon her friends and family. I highly doubt she’d be able to contact them, so they’d spend several weeks thinking she abruptly vanished. Adding in that Patch abruptly vanished at the same time, and guess what? People are going to think he kidnapped her. That, or he murdered her and buried her corpse in the woods. No one in their right mind would think “Nora and Patch decided to take an impromptu road trip” (Though, granted, “in their right mind” is a vague concept, with these people).

She would also be missing a significant chunk of her school time. Like Meyer, Fitzpatrick doesn’t seem to realize how damaging to one’s grades it can be to skip several full weeks. And no, them being summer courses don’t make it any better. Like I said with Vee, she’s taking those courses because she already failed a course. Her failing a summer school course is not going to do anything to improve her grade point average. If she’s this flippant about her grades here, how were we expected to take her serious, back when she was dead certain that missing one homework assignment would ruin her grades enough to scrap her chances at Harvard?

Oh, but wait. I forgot, Nora doesn’t care about college, if it means taking her away from Patch. That’s fortunate, since I doubt any colleges (at least prestigious ones, like Harvard) would take a chance on her if they found out about this little jaunt she’s considering.

Finally, there’s a point that no one here seems to be considering - what would happen when she left, and what would happen after she returned. When she disappeared without a trace, and apparently was kidnapped by her boyfriend? Guaranteed, the police would be called. Nora is a minor. She would be missing significant amounts of school and not coming home. People would be concerned. So besides the archangels, Nora and Patch can look forward to a fun time hiding from the cops. That would mean no credit cards, no ID, nothing that can be used to trace them.

So then, the weeks are up, Patch is in Hell (yay!) and Nora goes home. Then what? What is she going to tell everyone? That she just decided to go on a vacation with her boyfriend? That’s not going to cut it, especially without any communication. And the closest she could come to the truth is say, “Patch had to run and hide from some people” or, if you wanted to be more accurate, “Patch was hiding from the cops.” Again, I’m sure that that would go over fantastically.

And that’s how Nora’s little adventure would end. She’d have yet another run-in with the police. She’d almost certainly have to retake her summer class, which would show on her record. She’d have lost her mother and friend’s trust and probably be under constant supervision by them, for fear of her running away again.

And how much of all of this does Nora consider? Precisely none. If there was the chance that Patch could elude the archangels forever? She’d just be ready then and there, abandoning her family and school in exchange for a life on the road, constantly on the run, and probably working in fast food joints to make ends meet. Sounds like a grand time.

I had two choices, but the answer was clear. The only way I could keep Patch was by letting him go. By having nothing to do with him.

ZeldaQueen: Which will not work, because he refuses to let go of you anymore than you refuse to let go of him. And I don’t mean that in a romantic sense, either. I mean that in the sense of a stalker going through his ex’s garbage.

I didn’t realize I was crying until Patch ran his thumbs under my eyes. “Shh,” he murmured. “It’s going to be okay. I want you. I can’t keep doing what I’m doing now, living halfway.”

ZeldaQueen: First of all, kindly knock it off with the creepy parental vibes. Second of all, HOW ARE YOU LIVING HALFWAY? He has made no effort to interact with Nora as a friend, because their relationship has no basis other than lust!

“But they’ll send you to hell,” I stammered, unable to control the quiver in my lower lip.

ZeldaQueen: I’m starting to think that a quivering lip is the only way Fitzpatrick knows how to say that Nora’s crying. I could understand it done tactfully, to show a moment of extreme vulnerability. Using it most of the time just makes Nora look like the childish brat she is.

“I’ve had a long time to come to terms with it.”

I was determined not to show Patch how hard this was for me, but I choked on the tears running down my throat. My eyes were damp and swollen, and my chest ached.

ZeldaQueen: Again, this is just sounding like a small child in need of a nap. I can understand breaking down after finding out something really bad, but this doesn’t work! Patch has always been under this threat! He’s the one who refused to tell you about it before, and he’s the one who refuses to try and interact in platonic ways, to convince the archangels your relationship is not romantic!

This was all my fault. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t be a guardian angel. If it weren’t for me, the archangels wouldn’t be bent on destroying him. I was responsible for driving him to this point.

ZeldaQueen: *blinks* Wow. Once again, I need to break this down…

“This was all my fault. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t be a guardian angel”

ZeldaQueen: Recall, if you will, the conditions in which Patch became a guardian angel. Nora tried to jump to her death, in an effort to kill Jules and make Patch human (because he was such a great guy, didn’t he deserve what he wanted?) She never intended for him to become a guardian angel. The only reason he did was because he pulled a loophole out of his ass to bring her back to life.

In short, Nora? It’s his own damned fault he’s a guardian angel. You were backed into a corner, about to die no matter what. You didn’t tell him to bring you back to life! In fact, you were shocked he did! Now, I’m sure one could argue that it’s extremely callous to expect someone to let their girlfriend die, in order to profit. But be that as it may, it was still all Patch’s choice. You To make an analogous situation, let’s say I gave my brother some money so he could buy lunch, and he bought food that was bad and got sick from it. I might have given him the money, but he chose the food, and it was a situation that neither of us had much knowledge or control over.

In short, will you fucking stop blaming yourself for everything and let your boyfriend shoulder some responsibility, for a change?

“If it weren’t for me, the archangels wouldn’t be bent on destroying him”

ZeldaQueen: Like I said, we’re supposed to think badly of the angels for wanting to hold him responsible for his actions. But never mind that now. Let’s examine what’s gone on.

First, Patch worked for them. He apparently was the greatest archangel they had.

Second, he becomes a fallen angel. He spends several centuries doing God-knows-what on Earth.

Third, they send him the offer to save a human life and become a guardian angel. If I recall correctly, they did this because it was safer to have him back in Heaven, than wreaking havoc on Earth. In other words, instead of punishing him or sending him directly to Hell, they offered him a very generous second chance. A second chance which, I might remind everyone, he turned down and laughed at, just because he didn’t like it.

Fourth, he spends much of the first book trying to sacrifice Nora, using a ritual which is considered unspeakable to the point of generally being considered a myth.

Fifth, he is made a guardian angel. Specifically, he is made the guardian angel of the girl he’d been trying to kill. We’ll later learn that the archangels can reassign which human a guardian angel looks after, so presumably he was allowed to protect Nora because the archangels let him. We will later learn that their only condition for letting him do this was that he only act in her best interests and, as he openly admits, he has not been.

That does not look like the archangels are “bent on destroying” Patch. In fact, it looks like they’ve offered him multiple chances to redeem himself, and are finally deciding to stick some consequences to his despicable actions, to which I say go them. This is not a matter of them having it out for Patch. This is a matter of Patch going against the very few rules and conditions they lay out for him, after breaking every other law they have.

“I was responsible for driving him to this point”

ZeldaQueen: I’ve already ranted, so I’ll just say this - lovely to see so many gender double standards here. Nora is in no way holding Patch responsible for his behavior, but insists it’s all her own fault. What next, is she going to say it was her fault he attacked her in that motel, because she was just in her camisole and underpants? *shudders*

Back to recapping, since we’re nearly done. Nora decides that it’s her responsibility to break away from Patch, since he obviously shouldn’t be held accountable for anything. She tells him to inform Vee that she’s walking home, and needs the alone time. We end the chapter with her wangstily describing walking away from Patch.

I swear, all of these chapter endings sound like they’re accompanied by sappy soap opera music!