Crescendo: Chapter 2 (Part 2)
Feb. 2nd, 2012 09:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zelda_queenZeldaQueen: In which the plot continues to rip off New Moon
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 2 (Part 2)
ZeldaQueen: Okay guys, this is it. We're at the end of the second chapter here. I decided to tackle this bit separately because, quite frankly, it needs it. It needs the sporking treatment. It's just too wanky to properly summarize it. It just sums up Nora and Patch so well, with their hypocrisy and bitchiness and general douchebaggery. And it's also one of the most blatant pieces of evidence that Fitzpatrick is ripping this stuff off of the Twilight series. Because remember how the...erm, plot of New Moon was kicked off when Edward broke up with Bella, which we were supposed to see as a tragic mistake and be thrilled when they got back together at the end?
Yeah. Guess what happens here.
So, nothing for it. Let us get started!
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Normally I would have greeted him by bounding straight into his arms.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because you are a co-dependent twit whose happiness entirely centers around Her Man
Today I held back. Last night I’d said I loved him, and he’d bolted and allegedly headed straight for Marcie’s house.
ZeldaQueen: Last night you also told him that Marcie insulted your dead father, before you started getting incredibly clingy and scared of being abandoned, and gave him your father's ring. For all the information you have, Patch decided that Marcie's petty insults upset poor you and went to threaten her in revenge
My mood fell somewhere between injured pride, anger, and insecurity.
ZeldaQueen: Oh? That makes you feel angry?
I hoped my reserved silence sent him a message that something was off, and would be until he made a move to correct it, either by apology or explanation.
ZeldaQueen: ...Well, I guess there's something to be said for optimism in the face of hopeless situations. Seriously, you did this to him before! "Oh, I'll ignore him and he'll surely get the hint!" "Oh, I'll tell him off and he'll surely apologize for his actions!" "Oh, I'll tell him I don't want to go into a motel room with him while the power's out, he's sure to listen!" HE. DOESN'T. CARE.
"Hey," I said, assuming casualness. "You forgot to call last night. Where did you end up going?"
ZeldaQueen: To Hell, we can only hope
"Around. You going to invite me in?"
ZeldaQueen: (Patch) "If you aren't, I'll just break in anyway. I don't really care about your privacy, after all"
I didn’t. "I’m glad to hear Marcie’s house is just, you know, around."
ZeldaQueen: No, most houses I've seen are a-square. *rim shot*
A momentary flick of surprise in his eyes confirmed what I didn’t want to believe: Marcie had been telling the truth.
ZeldaQueen: *sighs* Apparently she still doesn't get that stalking unsuspecting teenage girls is old hat for him
"Want to tell me what’s going on?' I said in a slightly more hostile tone. 'Want to tell me what you were doing at her place last night?"
ZeldaQueen: No Nora, he clearly doesn't. And if you think he will, you're even more brain-damaged than you've been letting on
"You sound jealous, Angel." There might have been a note of teasing behind it, but unlike usual, there was nothing affectionate or playful about it.
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, why do you insist on adding clunky descriptors after every sentence?
And am I the only one who got the "I'm gonna smack a bitch" vibe there? *squicked*
"Maybe I wouldn’t be jealous if you didn’t give me a reason to be," I shot back.
ZeldaQueen: Jealous of what? That he's not exclusively stalking you?
"What were you doing at her house?"
ZeldaQueen: The mamba
"Taking care of business."
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, are you trying to validate the "Patch wants to kill Marcie" theory?
I swept my eyebrows up. "I didn’t realize you and Marcie had business."
ZeldaQueen: YOU IDIOT! I...I don't get this! She just heard that her boyfriend stalked a girl who upset her to her home, acted in a predatory and threatening way to said girl, did all of this after offering to "take care" of said girl, clearly scared said girl in the process, and just described the entire thing as "taking care of business". AND NORA STILL THINKS HE'S TRYING TO ROMANCE MARCIE! WHAT THE FUCK?!?
"We do, but it’s just that. Business."
ZeldaQueen: What, are you secretly running a law firm with her, Patch? Even if there's not an affair going on, that's still a suspicious answer, you dick!
"Care to elaborate?" There was a heavy dose of allegation crammed between my actual words.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because the fact that she's clearly trying to accuse Patch of something is not obvious in the slightest. Fitzpatrick must spoon feed that detail to us
"Are you accusing me of something?"
ZeldaQueen: I sincerely hope that's sarcasm on Patch's part. Because if not, HE'S FUCKING STUPID!
"Should I be?"
ZeldaQueen: No, you should not. You will be though, because Fitzpatrick thinks this is legitimate conflict
Patch was usually expert at hiding his emotions, but the line of his mouth tightened. “No.”
ZeldaQueen: And why is this upsetting him so much?
“If being at her house last night was so innocent, why are you having such a hard time explaining what you were doing there?”
ZeldaQueen: Maybe because it's none of your business, you idiot! Christmas!
“I’m not having a hard time,” he said, each word carefully measured. “I’m not telling you, because what I was doing at Marcie’s has nothing to do with us.”
ZeldaQueen: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a legitimate answer. Well, legitimate for the accusations being made, in any case. If I were Nora, I'd still be demanding answers as to what sort of "business" could be cleared up by looking in a girl's window like a villain in a slasher movie, but that's just me. Fitzpatrick didn't think of that, so Nora isn't going to think of that. In any case, let's see how Nora responds to this
How could he think this didn’t have anything to do with us? Marcie was the one person who took every opportunity to attack and belittle me. Over the past eleven years, she’d teased me, spread horrible rumors about me, and humiliated me publicly. How could he think this wasn’t personal? How could he think I’d just accept this, no questions asked? Above all, couldn’t he see I was terrified that Marcie would use him to hurt me? If she suspected he was even remotely interested, she’d do everything in her power to steal him for herself. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Patch, but it would kill me if I lost him to her.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah. She whines about how Marcie is such an evil tramp who surely will steal Patch, because Marcie is such a horrible, horrible man-trap who is Pure Evil.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 10
ZeldaQueen: Right. Now, let us dissect this piece by piece.
First of all, this is why, in the final assessment of the last book, I asked you guys to remember what a small presence Marcie had, and how Nora seemed annoyed by her rather than full-blown hatred. We're apparently supposed to believe that Marcie is this, evil, evil Mean Girl who does nothing but belittle Nora and do all of those things.
When did Marcie ever do anything like that? I'm serious. She does none of this in Hush, Hush, and her insults boil down to "Your friend is fat" and "You're a weirdo", both of which are lukewarm by high school insult standards.
The only public humiliation we've been told about are the two mentioned in this book, how Marcie spray-painted Nora's locker and how Marcie stole her bra. Marcie did none of that in the last book, and never does anything in the plot itself. Given how hysterical and insane Nora has been acting, one could just as easily argue that Nora is blowing a few things Marcie did out of proportion.
As for the "horrible rumors", there's no evidence at all for that! Nora hardly associates with the rest of the student body at all, for good or bad! We never seen anyone treating her in ways to suggest that she has an unfair reputation. In fact, we've only ever seen the complete opposite! Nora is the one who has been doing nothing but talk about how Marcie is promiscuous and running a brothel in her bedroom and has sex every hour of the day, without any actual evidence to back that up. Nora is the one labeling Marcie with a baseless and unfair reputation. Nora is the one spreading horrible rumors! Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen.
Really, all of this, along with the fact that Nora comes across as a serious author avatar, and Fitzpatrick saying things on her website like this -
"It wasn't that we disliked school so much as we disliked a handful of kids who went there: Think mini Mean Girls. At night when we were supposed to be sleeping, Heather and I would make up new episodes in an ongoing tale called THE BUS ADVENTURES. The stories were usually morbid tales of us locking all the mean kids on the school bus and driving it over a cliff. (We always let the bus driver off first - we liked him.)"
ZeldaQueen: - makes this whole justification of Nora treating Marcie horribly smack of wish fulfillment on the Suethor's part.
Second of all have a look at that last bit, that Marcie will do anything to steal Patch away. That clearly she is all hot and puts out and thus any man would automatically go for her.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 11
ZeldaQueen: You know, I've ranted quite a lot within these first few chapters about how insulting it is for this story to paint a girl who enjoys sex as an evil bitch. I'd like to say here, though, that the "hot girl who enjoys sex of course can steal away any man" trope is just as insulting to any guys in the equation. Are we to assume that every guy in this bizzaro world thinks only with his dick and will drop his girlfriend for the next hottest girl who walks by? Or are we to take from this that men are incapable of valuing memories and intelligence and a good personality over a hot girl who we're told has nothing else going for her?
I mean really, Fitzpatrick, good looks only get a person so far. If Marcie is as obvious a bitch as we're supposed to believe she is, why are we supposed to believe that Patch would be so stupid as to fall for her wanton, false charms? What, do you think that hotness is the sole deciding factor in choosing a significant other? Oh, no wait, clearly you do, hence why Nora is with Patch in the first place.
So that leads to this issue. "Do everything in her power to steal him away"? Like what? If Patch is supposed to be so awesome, how can Marcie force him to be with her with her? Unless Fitzpatrick is insinuating that Marcie is willing to drug and kidnap Patch or something, she can't. So...if there's a very real threat of Marcie *cough* stealing away Patch, it could only be if Patch himself decides he's going to throw Nora over for a bitchy but more attractive girl. In that case, PATCH IS JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME AS MARCIE! Yet we're told NOTHING about how he'd be a horrible person for it! Oh, Nora is demanding answers, but we both know she's going to go right back to him at the end and forgive him for everything. We're supposed to see her suspicion for Patch as irrational paranoia. Her suspicion and hatred of Marcie is supposed to be perfectly justified!
Finally, nice double standard. It's perfectly fine for Patch to swoop in and force Nora to be with him, but when Marcie looks like she'll force Patch to be with her? No holds barred.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 14
ZeldaQueen: Right. This is ridiculous
Overwhelmed by that sudden fear, I said, “Don’t come back until you’re ready to tell me what you were doing at her place.”
ZeldaQueen: If I thought there was the remote possibility of Patch never showing up in this book again, I'd be dancing a jig right about now
Patch impatiently pushed his way inside and closed the door behind him.
ZeldaQueen: . . .
He...he just broke into her house. After he asked if she would let him in and she clearly made no indication that she would, he just shoves his way in.
I can't even properly drum up a rant over this. I already raged over how creepy that was, back when he did it in Hush, Hush. All I'll say is that the fact that he does stuff like this and Nora still thinks he respects her wishes just makes me wonder how low her IQ exactly is
“I didn’t come here to argue. I wanted to let you know Marcie ran into some trouble this afternoon.”
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, if you're trying to make Patch sound like a member of the mafia, you're doing splendidly. Congrats
Marcie again? Did he think he hadn’t dug a deep enough hole already?
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, how dare he talk about the girl that you are actively dragging up into the conversation? God!
I tried to stay calm long enough to hear him out, but I wanted to yell across him. “Oh?” I said coolly.
ZeldaQueen: *cheerfully* You're a bitch, go die!
“She was caught in the crossfire when a group of fallen angels tried to force a Nephil to swear fealty inside the men’s room at Bo’s Arcade. The Nephil wasn’t sixteen, so they couldn’t force him, but they had fun trying. They cut him up pretty bad, and broke a few ribs. Enter Marcie. She’d had too much to drink and walked into the wrong restroom. The fallen angel standing guard pulled a knife on her. She’s at the hospital, but they’ll release her soon. Flesh wound.”
ZeldaQueen: I left that intact so you could drink it all in. Let me sound off all of the horrific things that were just mentioned or implied in that statement.
- An innocent person was cornered in the bathroom of a sleazy bar, a place which, by all accounts, a person could and has been killed
- Said person had a knife pulled on him and gets cut up and attacked so that he has broken ribs
- Given that most Nephilim seem to not know what they are, the guy probably had no idea why this was being done to him. From his point of view, it probably looked like a gang of thugs cornered him in the bathroom and started babbling nonsense about swearing himself to them or else they'd hurt him
- That being said, if the Nephilim didn't know what he was, he also probably had no idea what the oath of fealty entailed, and thus agreed to essentially become someone's slave. Even if he didn't agree to it, the fallen angels know who he is and will almost certainly track him down to try again, possibly waiting until he was sixteen, so they could properly mind rape him into it
- Going off of that, THIS HAPPENED TO A KID IN HIS EARLY TEENS! Granted the fact that he's in a bar suggests that he's not a child, but that still leaves open a pretty young age group he could be in
- Going off of that, Word of Fitzpatrick is that Nephilim stop aging when they swear an oath of fealty. So this kid is or soon will be doomed to an eternity of being trapped as a teenager. He won't be able to drive a car, get married, or hold a prestigious job. He probably also won't be able to graduate from high school and get through college, at least not without raising a number of eyebrows. Not only that, but he's condemned to watch his family and friends get old and die
- Going off of that, for two weeks out of the year, this kid will be forced to abandon his family and his home and be used as a toy by a crazy fallen angel. He won't be able to tell anyone about where he's going or what happens to him when he's away, because who would believe him? One could also argue the danger of the fallen angel using threats towards his family, or even killing them, if it looks like they're going to get in the way of the Nephilim working for said fallen angel
- Given that all fallen angels we've seen thus far are ridiculously horny, and given that Fitzpatrick said that they enjoy conceiving more Nephilim just to give non-fallen angels the finger, the Nephilim will probably get to look forward to spending those two weeks out of every year being dragged off, possessed, and forced to have sex with strangers while still awake. For an eternity. Do you guys remember that this kid is younger than sixteen?
- On the Marcie Miller side of things, she walks in on the scene and is shanked. There is no reason for this other than the fact that the fallen angels are all bloodthirsty bastards, given that the lookout probably could have gotten rid of her simply by shoving her back outside and saying "this is the men's room".
Now, that's quite a long list, and I'm sure I'm missing a number of things. Let's see what Nora picks up, shall we?
My pulse jumped, and I knew I was upset that Marcie had been knifed, but that was the last thing I wanted to reveal to Patch.
ZeldaQueen: She...is angry at herself for feeling bad that someone had been knifed.
Fitzpatrick? Your Mary Sue of a self insert is a fucking sociopath. That's not endearing and that's not cute. Stop that right now
I crossed my arms stiffly. “Gee, is the Nephil okay?”
ZeldaQueen: *pissed* Oh, don't pretend you care, you bitch. You're fine with dating a guy who tortured Nephilim as well!
I vaguely remembered Patch explaining, some time ago, that fallen angels can’t force Nephilim to swear fealty until they’re sixteen. Likewise, he couldn’t sacrifice me to get a human body of his own until I turned sixteen. Sixteen was a darkly magical, even crucial age in the world of angels and Nephilim.
ZeldaQueen: *sings* Exposition, exposition, get shit out ASAP!
And no, so far as I know, we aren't ever told why sixteen of all ages is this "magical number". I'd guess itt's for the same reason that Meyer's dhampires stop physically aging at seventeen - plot convenience and an excuse to keep characters perpetually teenagers
Patch gave me a look that held the tiniest glare of disgust.
ZeldaQueen: ...He's disgusted that she's worried about the Nephil? That's telling.
Okay, okay, yes I get it, he's surely disgusted that Nora was just told that Marcie was stabbed, and yet Nora is still being petty and catty
“Marcie may have been drunk, but chances are she remembers what she saw. Obviously you know fallen angels and Nephilim try to stay under the radar, and someone like Marcie, with a big mouth, can threaten their secrecy.
ZeldaQueen: I see. He doesn't care that Marcie was hurt either. He just cares that she might blab.
WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE THESE ASSHOLES?
The last thing they want is for her to announce to the world what she saw.
ZeldaQueen: Which, chances are, would be a gang fight in a seedy bar's bathroom. I'm just saying, for the ten or so seconds she probably witnessed it all, nothing there seems to scream "UNEXPLAINED OCCURANCE!"
Our world operates a lot more smoothly when humans are ignorant of it. I know the fallen angels involved.” His jaw tensed. “They’ll do whatever it takes to keep Marcie quiet.”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because fallen angels are all a bunch of violent bastards. Also, am I the only one who's reminded of the Cullens and their "oh, a vampire is in town and people are in danger, but we aren't going to do anything about it" spiel?
I felt a shiver of fear for Marcie but flushed it away. Since when did Patch care one way or the other what happened to Marcie? Since when was he more worried about her than me?
ZeldaQueen: Okay, this is very, very creepy. Nora is so hateful towards Marcie that she's actively fighting to feel any sympathy for her. Nora also apparently can't grasp the fact that Patch is, for a change, worried about the safety of another person. This is doubly worrying when one considers that Patch is now an actual guardian angel. Saving people is his job. He's actually doing what he's supposed to. And Nora is stamping her foot and demanding that Patch forget his job and let Marcie be in serious danger because he shouldn't care what happens to her.
You know, one could argue that this jealousy stems from the fact that Patch didn't take responsibility for what his actions did to Nora, so she's now interpreting even basic decency towards another girl as a sign of greater affection. That last sentence seems to back that up, especially since there is a reason for Patch to be worried about Marcie (she has been hospitalized and now has fallen angels after her) and no reason for him to be worried about Nora (unless one counts Dabria, which we won't because everyone seems to have forgotten her, and Nora ostensibly can take her in a fight).
One could also argue that Patch spent the entire last book torturing Nora and now she has ended up becoming what he was in the last book - sociopathic, no empathy, and putting personal feelings and desires before a higher calling like, oh, being a guardian angel! Really, I think the theory you viewers came up with, that Patch mindraped Nora into being the girl he wants, is getting stronger by the sentence
“I’m trying to feel bad,” I said, “but it sounds like you’re concerned enough for the both of us.”
ZeldaQueen: *snarls*
ZeldaQueen: I will kill you until you die from it
I jerked on the doorknob and held the door wide. “Maybe you should go check on Marcie, see if her flesh wound is healing properly.”
ZeldaQueen: I'm seriously at a loss for words here. She was just told that Marcie was knifed and in the hospital and she can't get her tiny mind past "Patch might be cheating on me"! Why are we supposed to sympathize with this? Why?!?
Patch pried my hand loose and shut the door with his foot.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, lest we forget that Patch is an asshole who does not respect Nora's wishes and leave when she wants him to
“Bigger things than you, me, and Marcie are going on.” He hesitated, as if he had more to say, but closed his mouth at the last moment.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, fair enough statement. They are dealing with angels and the like
“You, me, and Marcie? Since when did you start putting the three of us in the same sentence?
ZeldaQueen: SINCE HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT A TOPIC THAT INVOLVED THE THREE OF YOU, YOU IDIOT! JESUS!
Since when does she mean anything to you?” I snapped.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* Did Patch ever suggest that there was any special connection between himself or Marcie?
My head hurts...
He cupped a hand over the back of his neck, looking very much like he knew he should choose his words carefully before answering.
ZeldaQueen: Let go of my hand, Fitzpatrick
“Just tell me what you’re thinking!” I blurted. “Spit it out! It’s bad enough that I have no idea what you’re feeling, let alone what you’re thinking!”
ZeldaQueen: Of course he won't. He never does, Nora, and you ought to have figured this out by now. Your boyfriend doesn't listen to you!
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ZeldaQueen: Right. Let's summarize for a bit, because it's just more of the same. Patch claims that he's trying to tell Nora what's going on, but that she's too hysterical to listen. Nora keeps whining about how he won't explain why he was at Marcie's. Patch starts to get visibly exasperated. I think Nora's bitchiness has hit a watermark, if even Patch is getting annoyed by it
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“Two months ago,” I began, trying to inject pride into my voice to hide the quaver in it, “Vee, my mom—everyone—warned me that you were the kind of guy who sees girls as conquests. They said I was just another notch on your belt, another stupid girl you’d seduce for your own satisfaction. They said the moment I fell in love with you was the moment you’d leave.” I swallowed hard. “I need to know they weren’t right.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, now that is a legitimate concern for a boyfriend like Patch. His behavior with Dabria has made it clear that he tosses girls like underwear, and his treatment of Nora proves that he's an abusive bastard.
Here's the kicker though - we're not supposed to think that's a possibility. It's like Edward dumping Bella in New Moon. We're supposed to be thinking "What? How could Patch possibly leave Nora? How could she even think something like that could happen? They have True Love!" I don't think it's a spoiler to tell you guys that by the end of the book, Nora's concerns are proven to be false and of course Patch would never leave her. The summary for the next book outright describes their love as one worth fighting the angels of Heaven for.
So really, this is like the motel room scene. Fitzpatrick set this up in a realistic way, and then will go on to resolve it in an unrealistic way, just because she doesn't see the realistic ending as a possibility. Thanks for that
Even though I didn’t want to recall it, the memory of last night resurfaced with perfect clarity.
I remembered the whole humiliating scene in vivid detail. I’d said I loved him, and he’d left me hanging. There were a hundred different ways to analyze his silence, none of them good.
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* I wish you'd shut up about that. I didn't care about it the first time around. Now, I'm in full-on Don't Give A Fuck territory. All I can muster up by this point is why is this such a big deal? Patch gave up a shot at a human body for her, which is apparently supposed to have been a huge sacrifice. Why is there so much hinging on him actually saying "I love you"? Yes, it's sweet to hear, but to get so hysterical because he isn't?
Patch wagged his head in disbelief. “You want me to tell you they’re wrong? Because I get the feeling you aren’t going to believe me, no matter what I say.” He glared at me.
ZeldaQueen: You know Patch, maybe if you'd leave, like she clearly wants you to, she'll cool down and listen. You ever consider that, you bastard? No, you'll just stand there and glare at her.
Yes, Nora is being irrationally batshit, but Patch certainly isn't helping matters. I hate them both so very, very much
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ZeldaQueen: I'm going to summarize this next bit, because I will spare you. Basically, Nora gets to what's really bothering her. She's worried that Patch isn't "as committed to this relationship" as she is. Yes, Fitzpatrick is really going there. She's making an entire subplot out of the "he surely can't love me as much as I love him" tune. Nora stresses over how "I thought I meant everything to him, but what if I’d only seen what I wanted? What if I’d grossly exaggerated his feelings?" Maybe you should have thought about all of this back in Hush, Hush, when he was purring about how he wasn't going to kill you because you meant everything to him, while groping you and ignoring your protests. Normally, I'd be thinking "Better late than never" on her figuring, but like I said, it's all a dead herring. Fitzpatrick is obviously setting up for a sappy reconciliation scene where Patch proves that yes he does love Nora, and the fanbrats will squee.
Nora outright asks Patch if he loves her, and he tells her in her mind that he can't answer that question. I have no idea why he did that, besides Fitzpatrick reminding us that he can mindrape Nora. Hell, Nora has no idea why he does it! When even your own characters are confused by what's going on, Fitzpatrick, that's not a good sign!
Now things are a bit reversed, with Patch trying to leave the house and Nora keeping him in there to force answers out of him. Lovely. She asks him "When we kiss, are you faking it?", to which Patch basically responds with "Bluh, what?" There's an exchange which is drawn waaaaaay out, In a nutshell, Nora asks “When I touch you, do you feel anything? How far does your desire go? Do you feel anything close to what I feel for you?” and Patch responds that he does feel something, emotionally.
This does not satisfy Nora, who complains that he doesn't feel anything physically. Dude, WHAT DOES IT MATTER? Isn't the emotional response the part that she wants? I mean yes, I know that people kiss and have sex just for the physical sensation, and that's fine, but Nora has done nothing but talk about how people who do that (people like Marcie, in other words), are filthy whores who she looks down upon. We're supposed to be buying that Nora and Patch are in a long-term relationship and not a fling based purely on the physical (just...roll with it), so why is Patch's inability to physically experience her kissing such a big deal? He's still getting the emotional response!
But no, Nora is not happy and whines about "How am I supposed to be in a relationship, when I have no idea how much it even means to you?" and how she's "experiencing things on a whole different level". She finishes up by basically saying that Patch is only kissing her because he feels obligated to and "I don’t want you to pretend it means something, when it’s really just an act.”
So...if he can't get physical sensations from it, there's no reason for him to do it at all and thus he's only pretending to do it. Isn't that nice? And isn't it so sweet how Nora's big complaint about her relationship with Patch hinges on purely physical matters? It's nice to know she's not shallow, like that bitch Marcie.
Patch tells Nora that she's being ridiculous, and for once, I agree. I still do not side with him though, because he has balls saying that she's "impossible" after how he's been going on.
Nora still keeps bitching at him and I want to punch her in the face. She complains that "You gave up becoming human for me, and this is what I get? A boyfriend who hangs out at Marcie’s, but won’t tell me why. A boyfriend who walks out at the first hint of a fight. Try this on for size: You’re a —jerk!”
ZeldaQueen: I honestly have nothing, save for the fact that apparently this was sufficient to get Nora to notice what a dick Patch is, and everything he did to her in Hush, Hush was not.
And, we shall have a bit more of a spork. Here we go!
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Jerk? he spoke to my thoughts, his voice cold and cutting. I’m trying to follow the rules. I’m not supposed to fall in love with you. We both know this isn’t about Marcie. This is about how I feel about you. I have to hold back. I’m walking a dangerous line. Falling in love is what got me in trouble in the first place. I can’t be with you the way I want.
ZeldaQueen: Okay! Yes! Fine! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT FROM THE START? That is a very valid reason as to why the two can't be making out every hour of the day! He's. An. ANGEL.
And again, is Fitzpatrick making it canon that Patch erased Nora's memories? Because WE ALREADY LEARNED THIS! Patch told Nora in the last book that he was thrown out of Heaven for lust! What did she think making out with her in his truck counted as?
This, by the way, just makes me wonder about how people feel, that this book series is fetishizing angels, who are servants of God and put Him first and are generally considered sexless. I mean, I know Bella kept calling Edward an angel, but he was still actually a vampire. Here though? Flat-out guardian angel who not only is very much in lust with her, but who actively is ignoring his job of HELPING TO RUN THE WORLD in favor of making out.
And yes, Patch, you are a jerk. That's the only reason I can think of as to why you didn't say right off of the bat "I'm sorry I ran away, but I need to be careful of the angels". Although it also makes me wonder why in the world you were standing outside of Marcie's house. What, were you trying to throw the angels off track by stalking her for awhile?
“Why did you give up becoming human for me if you knew you couldn’t be with me?” I asked, my voice wobbling slightly, sweat prickling the palms of my hands.
ZeldaQueen: How about the fact that he didn't want you to die, you stupid twat? Jesus H. Christ, why is it so hard for you to grasp that fact? Are you so insane that you can't understand that Patch would want you to live even if it means you can't shove your tongues down each other's throats? Lord!
“What did you even expect from a relationship with me? What’s the point of”—my voice caught and I swallowed without meaning to—“us?”
ZeldaQueen: Would you like some eggs with that ham, Nora?
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ZeldaQueen: Okay. We're near the end of this chapter. We can do this. Onward!
So Patch waits until Nora pauses in her whining and drops a bombshell - that if he fucks up again, the angels are going to toss his feather ass down to Hell. Well, it's a bombshell to anyone who's a moron that forgot how they already learned that Patch is in deep shit with the bosses above. So naturally, Nora is shocked by this.
Patch continues to explain, all the while talking directly into Nora's head. I can only assume that this is supposed to keep the angels from listening in. If that's the case, am I to understand that fricking angels are limited by a telepathic power that they all share? In any case, we get this
"I’m a guardian angel, or at least so I’ve been told, but the archangels don’t trust me. I have no privileges, no privacy. Two of them cornered me last night for a talk, and I walked away with the feeling that they want me to slip up again. For whatever reason, they’re choosing now to crack down on me.
They’re looking for any excuse to get rid of me. I’m on probation, and if I screw this up, my story doesn’t have a happy ending"
ZeldaQueen: Right.
First of all "I'm a guardian angel, or at least so I've been told"? What is there to doubt that? You have your wings back, you're presumably allowed into Heaven, and you're allowed to guard Nora! Really, the only reason I could see for making it doubtful that you're a guardian angel is if you don't actually do your job. *cough*
Second of all, oh the nerve of those angels, forcing you to actually follow the rules! It's not like you abandoned your job, your girlfriend, your life, your place in Heaven, and your divine status just to run off with a girl you never even spoke to. It's not like you were just trying to perform a ritual which was obviously considered forbidden and unnatural. It's not like you stalked and mindraped and tortured Nora. It's not like you made it very obvious that you saw your job as her guardian angel as an excuse to kick back and make out with her, essentially proving that you have not learned any lessons. No, why in the world should they be anticipating you breaking the rules again? The nerve of those people! *head desk*
Nora is all upset at this, because the idea of someone wanting to send Patch to Hell is just unthinkable. Nonsense, I and everyone viewing these sporkings have been proposing that plan since the last book. She then has erm...an ephiphany, I think. She realizes that even if she and Patch dodge the angels, they still will have a good many other problems in the future. Okay, fair enough, even though anyone with half a brain would have reached that conclusion from the start. Like with every other issue in this series though, Nora focuses on the stupidest and most pointless aspect of the issue and it pisses me of and...well, see for yourself!
"For one fleeting moment, I thought I had the answer—I’d give up my dreams. It was as simple as that. I shut my eyes and let go of my dreams like they were balloons on long, thin ribbons. I didn’t need those dreams. I couldn’t even be sure they’d come true. And even if they did, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone and tortured by the knowledge that everything I’d done meant nothing without Patch"
ZeldaQueen: You know, there are times when the "love is more important" trope can be played and be sweet and heartwarming. This? Is not one of them. Let us start with the most obvious point, that Nora is essentially giving up her entire future (vague as it is, I mean has she ever given serious thought to college and a job?) and Patch would be giving up nothing. And no, I don't consider "he gave up his shot at a human body" to be giving something up. IT CLEARLY ISN'T AFFECTING ANYTHING.
There is next the fact that Patch in no way is a person worth abandoning an entire future for. Oh, we're supposed to think he is, but we are not stupid. We read Hush, Hush. We know all of the horrible things he has done. Spoilers, he continues to do bad things to Nora. He's not a guy you should stay within spitting distance with, let alone plan for a life together, while giving up all ambitions.
Next, while I'm sure Fitzpatrick intended to conjure an image of Wesley and Buttercup riding off on a stallion together, she just brought up a couple living in a trailer park, forced to work at Burger King for a living. Because okay, let's ignore reality and pretend that it's a fine plan for Nora to not go to college and/or get her "dream job", in favor of being with Patch. Sooo, how are they going to afford a house? How will they eat? Those things cost money, you know, and Patch is not a fancypants richer-than-Croesus vampire. His main source of income is playing pool and gambling and I don't care how good at that he is, one can not make a reliable living that way. Why would the straight-A Nora not think of that? Was she planning on living with her mother for the rest of her life?
Finally, WHY THE HELL WOULD THAT EVEN BE NECESSARY? Seriously, how does getting a job or going to college get in the way of Patch being with her? He's her guardian angel! He's been givine divine license to stalk her! He can be invisible to everyone else, if he wants to be! He can fly across vast distances! Why would Nora think this would be a problem!
Nora decides that the above argument is moot, not because it's nonsensical or because it's disgusting to expect her to give up her entire future for her abusive boyfriend. No, it's because she remembers that regardless of what she does, she'll still be human and Patch will be an angel, and so she'll grow up and he'll stay a teenager forever. Fantastic, now we get this Bella trait into the mix. I must ask why she's thinking of this now. Again, she's been dating this schmuck for two months. This is only occuring to her now?
(And yes, I know how that issue is resolved. We will not discuss that until we get to Silence)
So, Nora can't just beg Patch to bite her and turn her into a vampire. Instead, she decides to break up with him.
ZeldaQueen: A gender flip does not make this original, Fitzpatrick.
And again, normally I'd be congratulating Nora on her sense for leaving Patch. Thing is, She's not leaving him because he's a douchecanoe or because he's controlling or because their relationship began via him stalking and terrifying her. No, she's doing it because "I didn’t want to be the reason Patch lost everything he’d worked for. If the archangels were looking for an excuse to banish him forever, I was only making it easy". Yes, it's all for Patch. He's such a dear, Nora ought to sacrifice everything for his own wellbeing.
Oh, but it gets better! She infuriates me by adding that she was using the break-up to protect herself and "I knew I wasn’t being fair".
*stares* Yes, that's right. It's completely unfair of Nora to break up with Patch at all, especially to protect herself. Never mind that they entered a relationship after he grossly violated her wishes and personal space and outright declared "I love you, you love me, that completely justifies my creepy". Never mind that her being with him caused her to nearly die twice in the last book, so her concern for her wellbeing is completely justified. Nope, it's selfish, selfish, selfish of her to break up with him.
FUCK THIS BOOK AND EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT!
Patch is incredulous at the declaration, and basically calls Nora a selfish person for not hearing his side of the story
ZeldaQueen: *dangerously* Patch. Do. NOT. Go. There. After everything you did in the last book, after everything you will do in this book, and after everything I know you'll be doing in the next book, you have no right at all to whine that Nora isn't giving poor, pitiful you a chance.
Nora orders Patch out, telling him that he can't force her to be in a relationship with him. Why not? He certainly forced you into one in the first place. There's more bickering between them, which I refuse to summarize because it's all the same crap as before. Suffice to say that it reads almost exactly like Edward's "I'm no good for you, Bella" spiel, which continues to prove that whatever the fanbrats say, this is just is more Twilight drivel.
Anywho, the whole thing ends when Nora tells Patch "When I kiss my boyfriend, I want to know he feels it!" *dryly* But it's totally not a shallow relationship, like the ones the ones Marcie gets into. For whatever reason, this is Nora crossing the Point of No Return, causing Patch to get pissed and storm out of the house. Um, why is that what makes him so angry? Granted it was a dick thing to say, but he just stood there while she questioned his faithfulness to her, basically calling him a shallow jerk, and he not only took it, but acted faintly amused.
Whatever. I don't care. Nora collapses and starts to sob, and I'm just glad this chapter is over. Good God!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 14
Onward to: Chapter 3
Return to: Chapter 2 (Part 1)
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 2 (Part 2)
ZeldaQueen: Okay guys, this is it. We're at the end of the second chapter here. I decided to tackle this bit separately because, quite frankly, it needs it. It needs the sporking treatment. It's just too wanky to properly summarize it. It just sums up Nora and Patch so well, with their hypocrisy and bitchiness and general douchebaggery. And it's also one of the most blatant pieces of evidence that Fitzpatrick is ripping this stuff off of the Twilight series. Because remember how the...erm, plot of New Moon was kicked off when Edward broke up with Bella, which we were supposed to see as a tragic mistake and be thrilled when they got back together at the end?
Yeah. Guess what happens here.
So, nothing for it. Let us get started!
---------------------------
Normally I would have greeted him by bounding straight into his arms.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because you are a co-dependent twit whose happiness entirely centers around Her Man
Today I held back. Last night I’d said I loved him, and he’d bolted and allegedly headed straight for Marcie’s house.
ZeldaQueen: Last night you also told him that Marcie insulted your dead father, before you started getting incredibly clingy and scared of being abandoned, and gave him your father's ring. For all the information you have, Patch decided that Marcie's petty insults upset poor you and went to threaten her in revenge
My mood fell somewhere between injured pride, anger, and insecurity.
ZeldaQueen: Oh? That makes you feel angry?
I hoped my reserved silence sent him a message that something was off, and would be until he made a move to correct it, either by apology or explanation.
ZeldaQueen: ...Well, I guess there's something to be said for optimism in the face of hopeless situations. Seriously, you did this to him before! "Oh, I'll ignore him and he'll surely get the hint!" "Oh, I'll tell him off and he'll surely apologize for his actions!" "Oh, I'll tell him I don't want to go into a motel room with him while the power's out, he's sure to listen!" HE. DOESN'T. CARE.
"Hey," I said, assuming casualness. "You forgot to call last night. Where did you end up going?"
ZeldaQueen: To Hell, we can only hope
"Around. You going to invite me in?"
ZeldaQueen: (Patch) "If you aren't, I'll just break in anyway. I don't really care about your privacy, after all"
I didn’t. "I’m glad to hear Marcie’s house is just, you know, around."
ZeldaQueen: No, most houses I've seen are a-square. *rim shot*
A momentary flick of surprise in his eyes confirmed what I didn’t want to believe: Marcie had been telling the truth.
ZeldaQueen: *sighs* Apparently she still doesn't get that stalking unsuspecting teenage girls is old hat for him
"Want to tell me what’s going on?' I said in a slightly more hostile tone. 'Want to tell me what you were doing at her place last night?"
ZeldaQueen: No Nora, he clearly doesn't. And if you think he will, you're even more brain-damaged than you've been letting on
"You sound jealous, Angel." There might have been a note of teasing behind it, but unlike usual, there was nothing affectionate or playful about it.
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, why do you insist on adding clunky descriptors after every sentence?
And am I the only one who got the "I'm gonna smack a bitch" vibe there? *squicked*
"Maybe I wouldn’t be jealous if you didn’t give me a reason to be," I shot back.
ZeldaQueen: Jealous of what? That he's not exclusively stalking you?
"What were you doing at her house?"
ZeldaQueen: The mamba
"Taking care of business."
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, are you trying to validate the "Patch wants to kill Marcie" theory?
I swept my eyebrows up. "I didn’t realize you and Marcie had business."
ZeldaQueen: YOU IDIOT! I...I don't get this! She just heard that her boyfriend stalked a girl who upset her to her home, acted in a predatory and threatening way to said girl, did all of this after offering to "take care" of said girl, clearly scared said girl in the process, and just described the entire thing as "taking care of business". AND NORA STILL THINKS HE'S TRYING TO ROMANCE MARCIE! WHAT THE FUCK?!?
"We do, but it’s just that. Business."
ZeldaQueen: What, are you secretly running a law firm with her, Patch? Even if there's not an affair going on, that's still a suspicious answer, you dick!
"Care to elaborate?" There was a heavy dose of allegation crammed between my actual words.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because the fact that she's clearly trying to accuse Patch of something is not obvious in the slightest. Fitzpatrick must spoon feed that detail to us
"Are you accusing me of something?"
ZeldaQueen: I sincerely hope that's sarcasm on Patch's part. Because if not, HE'S FUCKING STUPID!
"Should I be?"
ZeldaQueen: No, you should not. You will be though, because Fitzpatrick thinks this is legitimate conflict
Patch was usually expert at hiding his emotions, but the line of his mouth tightened. “No.”
ZeldaQueen: And why is this upsetting him so much?
“If being at her house last night was so innocent, why are you having such a hard time explaining what you were doing there?”
ZeldaQueen: Maybe because it's none of your business, you idiot! Christmas!
“I’m not having a hard time,” he said, each word carefully measured. “I’m not telling you, because what I was doing at Marcie’s has nothing to do with us.”
ZeldaQueen: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a legitimate answer. Well, legitimate for the accusations being made, in any case. If I were Nora, I'd still be demanding answers as to what sort of "business" could be cleared up by looking in a girl's window like a villain in a slasher movie, but that's just me. Fitzpatrick didn't think of that, so Nora isn't going to think of that. In any case, let's see how Nora responds to this
How could he think this didn’t have anything to do with us? Marcie was the one person who took every opportunity to attack and belittle me. Over the past eleven years, she’d teased me, spread horrible rumors about me, and humiliated me publicly. How could he think this wasn’t personal? How could he think I’d just accept this, no questions asked? Above all, couldn’t he see I was terrified that Marcie would use him to hurt me? If she suspected he was even remotely interested, she’d do everything in her power to steal him for herself. I couldn’t stand the thought of losing Patch, but it would kill me if I lost him to her.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah. She whines about how Marcie is such an evil tramp who surely will steal Patch, because Marcie is such a horrible, horrible man-trap who is Pure Evil.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 10
ZeldaQueen: Right. Now, let us dissect this piece by piece.
First of all, this is why, in the final assessment of the last book, I asked you guys to remember what a small presence Marcie had, and how Nora seemed annoyed by her rather than full-blown hatred. We're apparently supposed to believe that Marcie is this, evil, evil Mean Girl who does nothing but belittle Nora and do all of those things.
When did Marcie ever do anything like that? I'm serious. She does none of this in Hush, Hush, and her insults boil down to "Your friend is fat" and "You're a weirdo", both of which are lukewarm by high school insult standards.
The only public humiliation we've been told about are the two mentioned in this book, how Marcie spray-painted Nora's locker and how Marcie stole her bra. Marcie did none of that in the last book, and never does anything in the plot itself. Given how hysterical and insane Nora has been acting, one could just as easily argue that Nora is blowing a few things Marcie did out of proportion.
As for the "horrible rumors", there's no evidence at all for that! Nora hardly associates with the rest of the student body at all, for good or bad! We never seen anyone treating her in ways to suggest that she has an unfair reputation. In fact, we've only ever seen the complete opposite! Nora is the one who has been doing nothing but talk about how Marcie is promiscuous and running a brothel in her bedroom and has sex every hour of the day, without any actual evidence to back that up. Nora is the one labeling Marcie with a baseless and unfair reputation. Nora is the one spreading horrible rumors! Our Heroine, ladies and gentlemen.
Really, all of this, along with the fact that Nora comes across as a serious author avatar, and Fitzpatrick saying things on her website like this -
"It wasn't that we disliked school so much as we disliked a handful of kids who went there: Think mini Mean Girls. At night when we were supposed to be sleeping, Heather and I would make up new episodes in an ongoing tale called THE BUS ADVENTURES. The stories were usually morbid tales of us locking all the mean kids on the school bus and driving it over a cliff. (We always let the bus driver off first - we liked him.)"
ZeldaQueen: - makes this whole justification of Nora treating Marcie horribly smack of wish fulfillment on the Suethor's part.
Second of all have a look at that last bit, that Marcie will do anything to steal Patch away. That clearly she is all hot and puts out and thus any man would automatically go for her.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 11
ZeldaQueen: You know, I've ranted quite a lot within these first few chapters about how insulting it is for this story to paint a girl who enjoys sex as an evil bitch. I'd like to say here, though, that the "hot girl who enjoys sex of course can steal away any man" trope is just as insulting to any guys in the equation. Are we to assume that every guy in this bizzaro world thinks only with his dick and will drop his girlfriend for the next hottest girl who walks by? Or are we to take from this that men are incapable of valuing memories and intelligence and a good personality over a hot girl who we're told has nothing else going for her?
I mean really, Fitzpatrick, good looks only get a person so far. If Marcie is as obvious a bitch as we're supposed to believe she is, why are we supposed to believe that Patch would be so stupid as to fall for her wanton, false charms? What, do you think that hotness is the sole deciding factor in choosing a significant other? Oh, no wait, clearly you do, hence why Nora is with Patch in the first place.
So that leads to this issue. "Do everything in her power to steal him away"? Like what? If Patch is supposed to be so awesome, how can Marcie force him to be with her with her? Unless Fitzpatrick is insinuating that Marcie is willing to drug and kidnap Patch or something, she can't. So...if there's a very real threat of Marcie *cough* stealing away Patch, it could only be if Patch himself decides he's going to throw Nora over for a bitchy but more attractive girl. In that case, PATCH IS JUST AS MUCH TO BLAME AS MARCIE! Yet we're told NOTHING about how he'd be a horrible person for it! Oh, Nora is demanding answers, but we both know she's going to go right back to him at the end and forgive him for everything. We're supposed to see her suspicion for Patch as irrational paranoia. Her suspicion and hatred of Marcie is supposed to be perfectly justified!
Finally, nice double standard. It's perfectly fine for Patch to swoop in and force Nora to be with him, but when Marcie looks like she'll force Patch to be with her? No holds barred.
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 14
ZeldaQueen: Right. This is ridiculous
Overwhelmed by that sudden fear, I said, “Don’t come back until you’re ready to tell me what you were doing at her place.”
ZeldaQueen: If I thought there was the remote possibility of Patch never showing up in this book again, I'd be dancing a jig right about now
Patch impatiently pushed his way inside and closed the door behind him.
ZeldaQueen: . . .
He...he just broke into her house. After he asked if she would let him in and she clearly made no indication that she would, he just shoves his way in.
I can't even properly drum up a rant over this. I already raged over how creepy that was, back when he did it in Hush, Hush. All I'll say is that the fact that he does stuff like this and Nora still thinks he respects her wishes just makes me wonder how low her IQ exactly is
“I didn’t come here to argue. I wanted to let you know Marcie ran into some trouble this afternoon.”
ZeldaQueen: Fitzpatrick, if you're trying to make Patch sound like a member of the mafia, you're doing splendidly. Congrats
Marcie again? Did he think he hadn’t dug a deep enough hole already?
ZeldaQueen: Oh yes, how dare he talk about the girl that you are actively dragging up into the conversation? God!
I tried to stay calm long enough to hear him out, but I wanted to yell across him. “Oh?” I said coolly.
ZeldaQueen: *cheerfully* You're a bitch, go die!
“She was caught in the crossfire when a group of fallen angels tried to force a Nephil to swear fealty inside the men’s room at Bo’s Arcade. The Nephil wasn’t sixteen, so they couldn’t force him, but they had fun trying. They cut him up pretty bad, and broke a few ribs. Enter Marcie. She’d had too much to drink and walked into the wrong restroom. The fallen angel standing guard pulled a knife on her. She’s at the hospital, but they’ll release her soon. Flesh wound.”
ZeldaQueen: I left that intact so you could drink it all in. Let me sound off all of the horrific things that were just mentioned or implied in that statement.
- An innocent person was cornered in the bathroom of a sleazy bar, a place which, by all accounts, a person could and has been killed
- Said person had a knife pulled on him and gets cut up and attacked so that he has broken ribs
- Given that most Nephilim seem to not know what they are, the guy probably had no idea why this was being done to him. From his point of view, it probably looked like a gang of thugs cornered him in the bathroom and started babbling nonsense about swearing himself to them or else they'd hurt him
- That being said, if the Nephilim didn't know what he was, he also probably had no idea what the oath of fealty entailed, and thus agreed to essentially become someone's slave. Even if he didn't agree to it, the fallen angels know who he is and will almost certainly track him down to try again, possibly waiting until he was sixteen, so they could properly mind rape him into it
- Going off of that, THIS HAPPENED TO A KID IN HIS EARLY TEENS! Granted the fact that he's in a bar suggests that he's not a child, but that still leaves open a pretty young age group he could be in
- Going off of that, Word of Fitzpatrick is that Nephilim stop aging when they swear an oath of fealty. So this kid is or soon will be doomed to an eternity of being trapped as a teenager. He won't be able to drive a car, get married, or hold a prestigious job. He probably also won't be able to graduate from high school and get through college, at least not without raising a number of eyebrows. Not only that, but he's condemned to watch his family and friends get old and die
- Going off of that, for two weeks out of the year, this kid will be forced to abandon his family and his home and be used as a toy by a crazy fallen angel. He won't be able to tell anyone about where he's going or what happens to him when he's away, because who would believe him? One could also argue the danger of the fallen angel using threats towards his family, or even killing them, if it looks like they're going to get in the way of the Nephilim working for said fallen angel
- Given that all fallen angels we've seen thus far are ridiculously horny, and given that Fitzpatrick said that they enjoy conceiving more Nephilim just to give non-fallen angels the finger, the Nephilim will probably get to look forward to spending those two weeks out of every year being dragged off, possessed, and forced to have sex with strangers while still awake. For an eternity. Do you guys remember that this kid is younger than sixteen?
- On the Marcie Miller side of things, she walks in on the scene and is shanked. There is no reason for this other than the fact that the fallen angels are all bloodthirsty bastards, given that the lookout probably could have gotten rid of her simply by shoving her back outside and saying "this is the men's room".
Now, that's quite a long list, and I'm sure I'm missing a number of things. Let's see what Nora picks up, shall we?
My pulse jumped, and I knew I was upset that Marcie had been knifed, but that was the last thing I wanted to reveal to Patch.
ZeldaQueen: She...is angry at herself for feeling bad that someone had been knifed.
Fitzpatrick? Your Mary Sue of a self insert is a fucking sociopath. That's not endearing and that's not cute. Stop that right now
I crossed my arms stiffly. “Gee, is the Nephil okay?”
ZeldaQueen: *pissed* Oh, don't pretend you care, you bitch. You're fine with dating a guy who tortured Nephilim as well!
I vaguely remembered Patch explaining, some time ago, that fallen angels can’t force Nephilim to swear fealty until they’re sixteen. Likewise, he couldn’t sacrifice me to get a human body of his own until I turned sixteen. Sixteen was a darkly magical, even crucial age in the world of angels and Nephilim.
ZeldaQueen: *sings* Exposition, exposition, get shit out ASAP!
And no, so far as I know, we aren't ever told why sixteen of all ages is this "magical number". I'd guess itt's for the same reason that Meyer's dhampires stop physically aging at seventeen - plot convenience and an excuse to keep characters perpetually teenagers
Patch gave me a look that held the tiniest glare of disgust.
ZeldaQueen: ...He's disgusted that she's worried about the Nephil? That's telling.
Okay, okay, yes I get it, he's surely disgusted that Nora was just told that Marcie was stabbed, and yet Nora is still being petty and catty
“Marcie may have been drunk, but chances are she remembers what she saw. Obviously you know fallen angels and Nephilim try to stay under the radar, and someone like Marcie, with a big mouth, can threaten their secrecy.
ZeldaQueen: I see. He doesn't care that Marcie was hurt either. He just cares that she might blab.
WHY AM I SUPPOSED TO LIKE THESE ASSHOLES?
The last thing they want is for her to announce to the world what she saw.
ZeldaQueen: Which, chances are, would be a gang fight in a seedy bar's bathroom. I'm just saying, for the ten or so seconds she probably witnessed it all, nothing there seems to scream "UNEXPLAINED OCCURANCE!"
Our world operates a lot more smoothly when humans are ignorant of it. I know the fallen angels involved.” His jaw tensed. “They’ll do whatever it takes to keep Marcie quiet.”
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because fallen angels are all a bunch of violent bastards. Also, am I the only one who's reminded of the Cullens and their "oh, a vampire is in town and people are in danger, but we aren't going to do anything about it" spiel?
I felt a shiver of fear for Marcie but flushed it away. Since when did Patch care one way or the other what happened to Marcie? Since when was he more worried about her than me?
ZeldaQueen: Okay, this is very, very creepy. Nora is so hateful towards Marcie that she's actively fighting to feel any sympathy for her. Nora also apparently can't grasp the fact that Patch is, for a change, worried about the safety of another person. This is doubly worrying when one considers that Patch is now an actual guardian angel. Saving people is his job. He's actually doing what he's supposed to. And Nora is stamping her foot and demanding that Patch forget his job and let Marcie be in serious danger because he shouldn't care what happens to her.
You know, one could argue that this jealousy stems from the fact that Patch didn't take responsibility for what his actions did to Nora, so she's now interpreting even basic decency towards another girl as a sign of greater affection. That last sentence seems to back that up, especially since there is a reason for Patch to be worried about Marcie (she has been hospitalized and now has fallen angels after her) and no reason for him to be worried about Nora (unless one counts Dabria, which we won't because everyone seems to have forgotten her, and Nora ostensibly can take her in a fight).
One could also argue that Patch spent the entire last book torturing Nora and now she has ended up becoming what he was in the last book - sociopathic, no empathy, and putting personal feelings and desires before a higher calling like, oh, being a guardian angel! Really, I think the theory you viewers came up with, that Patch mindraped Nora into being the girl he wants, is getting stronger by the sentence
“I’m trying to feel bad,” I said, “but it sounds like you’re concerned enough for the both of us.”
ZeldaQueen: *snarls*
ZeldaQueen: I will kill you until you die from it
I jerked on the doorknob and held the door wide. “Maybe you should go check on Marcie, see if her flesh wound is healing properly.”
ZeldaQueen: I'm seriously at a loss for words here. She was just told that Marcie was knifed and in the hospital and she can't get her tiny mind past "Patch might be cheating on me"! Why are we supposed to sympathize with this? Why?!?
Patch pried my hand loose and shut the door with his foot.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, lest we forget that Patch is an asshole who does not respect Nora's wishes and leave when she wants him to
“Bigger things than you, me, and Marcie are going on.” He hesitated, as if he had more to say, but closed his mouth at the last moment.
ZeldaQueen: Okay, fair enough statement. They are dealing with angels and the like
“You, me, and Marcie? Since when did you start putting the three of us in the same sentence?
ZeldaQueen: SINCE HE STARTED TALKING ABOUT A TOPIC THAT INVOLVED THE THREE OF YOU, YOU IDIOT! JESUS!
Since when does she mean anything to you?” I snapped.
ZeldaQueen: *tiredly* Did Patch ever suggest that there was any special connection between himself or Marcie?
My head hurts...
He cupped a hand over the back of his neck, looking very much like he knew he should choose his words carefully before answering.
ZeldaQueen: Let go of my hand, Fitzpatrick
“Just tell me what you’re thinking!” I blurted. “Spit it out! It’s bad enough that I have no idea what you’re feeling, let alone what you’re thinking!”
ZeldaQueen: Of course he won't. He never does, Nora, and you ought to have figured this out by now. Your boyfriend doesn't listen to you!
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ZeldaQueen: Right. Let's summarize for a bit, because it's just more of the same. Patch claims that he's trying to tell Nora what's going on, but that she's too hysterical to listen. Nora keeps whining about how he won't explain why he was at Marcie's. Patch starts to get visibly exasperated. I think Nora's bitchiness has hit a watermark, if even Patch is getting annoyed by it
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“Two months ago,” I began, trying to inject pride into my voice to hide the quaver in it, “Vee, my mom—everyone—warned me that you were the kind of guy who sees girls as conquests. They said I was just another notch on your belt, another stupid girl you’d seduce for your own satisfaction. They said the moment I fell in love with you was the moment you’d leave.” I swallowed hard. “I need to know they weren’t right.”
ZeldaQueen: Okay, now that is a legitimate concern for a boyfriend like Patch. His behavior with Dabria has made it clear that he tosses girls like underwear, and his treatment of Nora proves that he's an abusive bastard.
Here's the kicker though - we're not supposed to think that's a possibility. It's like Edward dumping Bella in New Moon. We're supposed to be thinking "What? How could Patch possibly leave Nora? How could she even think something like that could happen? They have True Love!" I don't think it's a spoiler to tell you guys that by the end of the book, Nora's concerns are proven to be false and of course Patch would never leave her. The summary for the next book outright describes their love as one worth fighting the angels of Heaven for.
So really, this is like the motel room scene. Fitzpatrick set this up in a realistic way, and then will go on to resolve it in an unrealistic way, just because she doesn't see the realistic ending as a possibility. Thanks for that
Even though I didn’t want to recall it, the memory of last night resurfaced with perfect clarity.
I remembered the whole humiliating scene in vivid detail. I’d said I loved him, and he’d left me hanging. There were a hundred different ways to analyze his silence, none of them good.
ZeldaQueen: *rubs forehead* I wish you'd shut up about that. I didn't care about it the first time around. Now, I'm in full-on Don't Give A Fuck territory. All I can muster up by this point is why is this such a big deal? Patch gave up a shot at a human body for her, which is apparently supposed to have been a huge sacrifice. Why is there so much hinging on him actually saying "I love you"? Yes, it's sweet to hear, but to get so hysterical because he isn't?
Patch wagged his head in disbelief. “You want me to tell you they’re wrong? Because I get the feeling you aren’t going to believe me, no matter what I say.” He glared at me.
ZeldaQueen: You know Patch, maybe if you'd leave, like she clearly wants you to, she'll cool down and listen. You ever consider that, you bastard? No, you'll just stand there and glare at her.
Yes, Nora is being irrationally batshit, but Patch certainly isn't helping matters. I hate them both so very, very much
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ZeldaQueen: I'm going to summarize this next bit, because I will spare you. Basically, Nora gets to what's really bothering her. She's worried that Patch isn't "as committed to this relationship" as she is. Yes, Fitzpatrick is really going there. She's making an entire subplot out of the "he surely can't love me as much as I love him" tune. Nora stresses over how "I thought I meant everything to him, but what if I’d only seen what I wanted? What if I’d grossly exaggerated his feelings?" Maybe you should have thought about all of this back in Hush, Hush, when he was purring about how he wasn't going to kill you because you meant everything to him, while groping you and ignoring your protests. Normally, I'd be thinking "Better late than never" on her figuring, but like I said, it's all a dead herring. Fitzpatrick is obviously setting up for a sappy reconciliation scene where Patch proves that yes he does love Nora, and the fanbrats will squee.
Nora outright asks Patch if he loves her, and he tells her in her mind that he can't answer that question. I have no idea why he did that, besides Fitzpatrick reminding us that he can mindrape Nora. Hell, Nora has no idea why he does it! When even your own characters are confused by what's going on, Fitzpatrick, that's not a good sign!
Now things are a bit reversed, with Patch trying to leave the house and Nora keeping him in there to force answers out of him. Lovely. She asks him "When we kiss, are you faking it?", to which Patch basically responds with "Bluh, what?" There's an exchange which is drawn waaaaaay out, In a nutshell, Nora asks “When I touch you, do you feel anything? How far does your desire go? Do you feel anything close to what I feel for you?” and Patch responds that he does feel something, emotionally.
This does not satisfy Nora, who complains that he doesn't feel anything physically. Dude, WHAT DOES IT MATTER? Isn't the emotional response the part that she wants? I mean yes, I know that people kiss and have sex just for the physical sensation, and that's fine, but Nora has done nothing but talk about how people who do that (people like Marcie, in other words), are filthy whores who she looks down upon. We're supposed to be buying that Nora and Patch are in a long-term relationship and not a fling based purely on the physical (just...roll with it), so why is Patch's inability to physically experience her kissing such a big deal? He's still getting the emotional response!
But no, Nora is not happy and whines about "How am I supposed to be in a relationship, when I have no idea how much it even means to you?" and how she's "experiencing things on a whole different level". She finishes up by basically saying that Patch is only kissing her because he feels obligated to and "I don’t want you to pretend it means something, when it’s really just an act.”
So...if he can't get physical sensations from it, there's no reason for him to do it at all and thus he's only pretending to do it. Isn't that nice? And isn't it so sweet how Nora's big complaint about her relationship with Patch hinges on purely physical matters? It's nice to know she's not shallow, like that bitch Marcie.
Patch tells Nora that she's being ridiculous, and for once, I agree. I still do not side with him though, because he has balls saying that she's "impossible" after how he's been going on.
Nora still keeps bitching at him and I want to punch her in the face. She complains that "You gave up becoming human for me, and this is what I get? A boyfriend who hangs out at Marcie’s, but won’t tell me why. A boyfriend who walks out at the first hint of a fight. Try this on for size: You’re a —jerk!”
ZeldaQueen: I honestly have nothing, save for the fact that apparently this was sufficient to get Nora to notice what a dick Patch is, and everything he did to her in Hush, Hush was not.
And, we shall have a bit more of a spork. Here we go!
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Jerk? he spoke to my thoughts, his voice cold and cutting. I’m trying to follow the rules. I’m not supposed to fall in love with you. We both know this isn’t about Marcie. This is about how I feel about you. I have to hold back. I’m walking a dangerous line. Falling in love is what got me in trouble in the first place. I can’t be with you the way I want.
ZeldaQueen: Okay! Yes! Fine! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY THAT FROM THE START? That is a very valid reason as to why the two can't be making out every hour of the day! He's. An. ANGEL.
And again, is Fitzpatrick making it canon that Patch erased Nora's memories? Because WE ALREADY LEARNED THIS! Patch told Nora in the last book that he was thrown out of Heaven for lust! What did she think making out with her in his truck counted as?
This, by the way, just makes me wonder about how people feel, that this book series is fetishizing angels, who are servants of God and put Him first and are generally considered sexless. I mean, I know Bella kept calling Edward an angel, but he was still actually a vampire. Here though? Flat-out guardian angel who not only is very much in lust with her, but who actively is ignoring his job of HELPING TO RUN THE WORLD in favor of making out.
And yes, Patch, you are a jerk. That's the only reason I can think of as to why you didn't say right off of the bat "I'm sorry I ran away, but I need to be careful of the angels". Although it also makes me wonder why in the world you were standing outside of Marcie's house. What, were you trying to throw the angels off track by stalking her for awhile?
“Why did you give up becoming human for me if you knew you couldn’t be with me?” I asked, my voice wobbling slightly, sweat prickling the palms of my hands.
ZeldaQueen: How about the fact that he didn't want you to die, you stupid twat? Jesus H. Christ, why is it so hard for you to grasp that fact? Are you so insane that you can't understand that Patch would want you to live even if it means you can't shove your tongues down each other's throats? Lord!
“What did you even expect from a relationship with me? What’s the point of”—my voice caught and I swallowed without meaning to—“us?”
ZeldaQueen: Would you like some eggs with that ham, Nora?
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ZeldaQueen: Okay. We're near the end of this chapter. We can do this. Onward!
So Patch waits until Nora pauses in her whining and drops a bombshell - that if he fucks up again, the angels are going to toss his feather ass down to Hell. Well, it's a bombshell to anyone who's a moron that forgot how they already learned that Patch is in deep shit with the bosses above. So naturally, Nora is shocked by this.
Patch continues to explain, all the while talking directly into Nora's head. I can only assume that this is supposed to keep the angels from listening in. If that's the case, am I to understand that fricking angels are limited by a telepathic power that they all share? In any case, we get this
"I’m a guardian angel, or at least so I’ve been told, but the archangels don’t trust me. I have no privileges, no privacy. Two of them cornered me last night for a talk, and I walked away with the feeling that they want me to slip up again. For whatever reason, they’re choosing now to crack down on me.
They’re looking for any excuse to get rid of me. I’m on probation, and if I screw this up, my story doesn’t have a happy ending"
ZeldaQueen: Right.
First of all "I'm a guardian angel, or at least so I've been told"? What is there to doubt that? You have your wings back, you're presumably allowed into Heaven, and you're allowed to guard Nora! Really, the only reason I could see for making it doubtful that you're a guardian angel is if you don't actually do your job. *cough*
Second of all, oh the nerve of those angels, forcing you to actually follow the rules! It's not like you abandoned your job, your girlfriend, your life, your place in Heaven, and your divine status just to run off with a girl you never even spoke to. It's not like you were just trying to perform a ritual which was obviously considered forbidden and unnatural. It's not like you stalked and mindraped and tortured Nora. It's not like you made it very obvious that you saw your job as her guardian angel as an excuse to kick back and make out with her, essentially proving that you have not learned any lessons. No, why in the world should they be anticipating you breaking the rules again? The nerve of those people! *head desk*
Nora is all upset at this, because the idea of someone wanting to send Patch to Hell is just unthinkable. Nonsense, I and everyone viewing these sporkings have been proposing that plan since the last book. She then has erm...an ephiphany, I think. She realizes that even if she and Patch dodge the angels, they still will have a good many other problems in the future. Okay, fair enough, even though anyone with half a brain would have reached that conclusion from the start. Like with every other issue in this series though, Nora focuses on the stupidest and most pointless aspect of the issue and it pisses me of and...well, see for yourself!
"For one fleeting moment, I thought I had the answer—I’d give up my dreams. It was as simple as that. I shut my eyes and let go of my dreams like they were balloons on long, thin ribbons. I didn’t need those dreams. I couldn’t even be sure they’d come true. And even if they did, I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone and tortured by the knowledge that everything I’d done meant nothing without Patch"
ZeldaQueen: You know, there are times when the "love is more important" trope can be played and be sweet and heartwarming. This? Is not one of them. Let us start with the most obvious point, that Nora is essentially giving up her entire future (vague as it is, I mean has she ever given serious thought to college and a job?) and Patch would be giving up nothing. And no, I don't consider "he gave up his shot at a human body" to be giving something up. IT CLEARLY ISN'T AFFECTING ANYTHING.
There is next the fact that Patch in no way is a person worth abandoning an entire future for. Oh, we're supposed to think he is, but we are not stupid. We read Hush, Hush. We know all of the horrible things he has done. Spoilers, he continues to do bad things to Nora. He's not a guy you should stay within spitting distance with, let alone plan for a life together, while giving up all ambitions.
Next, while I'm sure Fitzpatrick intended to conjure an image of Wesley and Buttercup riding off on a stallion together, she just brought up a couple living in a trailer park, forced to work at Burger King for a living. Because okay, let's ignore reality and pretend that it's a fine plan for Nora to not go to college and/or get her "dream job", in favor of being with Patch. Sooo, how are they going to afford a house? How will they eat? Those things cost money, you know, and Patch is not a fancypants richer-than-Croesus vampire. His main source of income is playing pool and gambling and I don't care how good at that he is, one can not make a reliable living that way. Why would the straight-A Nora not think of that? Was she planning on living with her mother for the rest of her life?
Finally, WHY THE HELL WOULD THAT EVEN BE NECESSARY? Seriously, how does getting a job or going to college get in the way of Patch being with her? He's her guardian angel! He's been givine divine license to stalk her! He can be invisible to everyone else, if he wants to be! He can fly across vast distances! Why would Nora think this would be a problem!
Nora decides that the above argument is moot, not because it's nonsensical or because it's disgusting to expect her to give up her entire future for her abusive boyfriend. No, it's because she remembers that regardless of what she does, she'll still be human and Patch will be an angel, and so she'll grow up and he'll stay a teenager forever. Fantastic, now we get this Bella trait into the mix. I must ask why she's thinking of this now. Again, she's been dating this schmuck for two months. This is only occuring to her now?
(And yes, I know how that issue is resolved. We will not discuss that until we get to Silence)
So, Nora can't just beg Patch to bite her and turn her into a vampire. Instead, she decides to break up with him.
ZeldaQueen: A gender flip does not make this original, Fitzpatrick.
And again, normally I'd be congratulating Nora on her sense for leaving Patch. Thing is, She's not leaving him because he's a douchecanoe or because he's controlling or because their relationship began via him stalking and terrifying her. No, she's doing it because "I didn’t want to be the reason Patch lost everything he’d worked for. If the archangels were looking for an excuse to banish him forever, I was only making it easy". Yes, it's all for Patch. He's such a dear, Nora ought to sacrifice everything for his own wellbeing.
Oh, but it gets better! She infuriates me by adding that she was using the break-up to protect herself and "I knew I wasn’t being fair".
*stares* Yes, that's right. It's completely unfair of Nora to break up with Patch at all, especially to protect herself. Never mind that they entered a relationship after he grossly violated her wishes and personal space and outright declared "I love you, you love me, that completely justifies my creepy". Never mind that her being with him caused her to nearly die twice in the last book, so her concern for her wellbeing is completely justified. Nope, it's selfish, selfish, selfish of her to break up with him.
FUCK THIS BOOK AND EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH IT!
Patch is incredulous at the declaration, and basically calls Nora a selfish person for not hearing his side of the story
ZeldaQueen: *dangerously* Patch. Do. NOT. Go. There. After everything you did in the last book, after everything you will do in this book, and after everything I know you'll be doing in the next book, you have no right at all to whine that Nora isn't giving poor, pitiful you a chance.
Nora orders Patch out, telling him that he can't force her to be in a relationship with him. Why not? He certainly forced you into one in the first place. There's more bickering between them, which I refuse to summarize because it's all the same crap as before. Suffice to say that it reads almost exactly like Edward's "I'm no good for you, Bella" spiel, which continues to prove that whatever the fanbrats say, this is just is more Twilight drivel.
Anywho, the whole thing ends when Nora tells Patch "When I kiss my boyfriend, I want to know he feels it!" *dryly* But it's totally not a shallow relationship, like the ones the ones Marcie gets into. For whatever reason, this is Nora crossing the Point of No Return, causing Patch to get pissed and storm out of the house. Um, why is that what makes him so angry? Granted it was a dick thing to say, but he just stood there while she questioned his faithfulness to her, basically calling him a shallow jerk, and he not only took it, but acted faintly amused.
Whatever. I don't care. Nora collapses and starts to sob, and I'm just glad this chapter is over. Good God!
YOU FUCKING WHORE: 14
Onward to: Chapter 3
Return to: Chapter 2 (Part 1)
Back to: Table of Contents