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zelda_queen) wrote2010-05-06 10:50 am
Time To Fix The Mistakes: Chapter 2 - My Kingdom For A...Horcrux (Part 1)
ZeldaQueen: Well, onward and outward! Here we get to see Harry be a total bastard and act absolutely nothing like in canon! So what else is new?
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 2: My Kingdom For A... Horcrux (Part 1)
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Chapter 2: My Kingdom For A … Horcrux
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May 9, 2021
ZeldaQueen: Cloudy, with a chance of meatballs
It had taken three weeks of almost constant effort to arrange the last step.
ZeldaQueen: One singular sensation!
Harry had pulled all of his considerable wealth from Gringotts and, through various means, converted it into antique British muggle notes and golden ingots. He packed all of the things he was likely to need on his one-way through time and history.
ZeldaQueen: Back to the Future - Harry Potter style
Harry Potter was preparing to ensure that the phrase, the 'Boy-Who-Lived,' never had reason to exist.
ZeldaQueen: You do know that he never did, don't you? I mean, Harry only fulfilled the prophecy because he wanted to.
You're not going to listen to me, are you?
He clutched his shrunken
ZeldaQueen: - head
belongings in one hand and stuffed them in his back pocket. Then he apparated to a forest outside Kent. He knew the theory behind what he was about to do, but wanted to ensure he had the best possible opportunity to ensure the correct result.
ZeldaQueen: This outta be good
He arrived in a clearing he'd found a year earlier in a small bit of forest. He pulled out the Cloak of Invisibility and draped it over his shoulders. Then he pulled out the masked Elder Wand and pulled the Resurrection Stone from his pocket.
He closed his eyes, pointed his wand at himself, and said, "Avada Kedavra."
ZeldaQueen !?! The hell?
So the fic is over? Marvelous!
When he opened his eyes, he was back in King's Cross as he had been once before.
ZeldaQueen: Dammit
It was utterly deserted. There was no revolting Voldemort baby this time, thankfully. A man stepped from the shadows and walked toward Harry. It wasn't Dumbledore…it was someone Harry only recognized from engravings and pictures in books.
"Mr. Flamel?"
"Mr. Potter. Why have you come this time?"
ZeldaQueen: It...doesn't work like that, you know
Harry just smiled. His plan was working so far. "I'm not surprised a man so concerned with his own mortality would be the keeper of this place in Albus' unfortunate absence."
ZeldaQueen: Flamel wasn't concerned with his own mortality! He let himself die! Anyway, there's no evidence that the place requires a guardian. I was under the impression that Dumbledore was only there to have that one final chat with Harry.
Look at that, the little bastard gets off on having condemned Dumbledore. Gack!
The ancient Flamel frowned. "Tell me if you know what's happened to my friend… No one can figure out how he began screaming in pain decades after his death. Purgatory sets in immediately to burn away one's sins or it never takes hold…"
Harry just nodded.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, we all know. You bastard!
"You won't say? Answer the question of why you're here, at least… The Master of Death should only use his power in extreme need, not just on a lark, Mr. Potter."
"The need was extreme. I aim to fix problems that Albus, you, and other powerful people couldn't be bothered to solve.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Harry, just insult every person who comes your way. You do realize that there are different levels of power, don't you? Not everyone can turn around the flipping world perfectly
I know that no man made time turner or other spell or artifact will provide me with the one remaining thing I need…"
The old, dead wizard just gasped indignantly.
"I'm not here to go back or to move forward. Or to visit on a lark…or to discuss that miserable excuse for a wizard, the one you still call 'friend'.
ZeldaQueen: The one who saved your bacon when you were an idiot and thought of you as his favorite student. How sweet
I'm here to walk through time itself.
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me?
I've had a lot of time to consider this…along with the half truths Albus insisted on feeding to me." Harry just smiled. "I am Master of Death. This place is connected to all worlds, all times, and all possible outcomes. I order a portal to June 12, 1976 to take me to the exact physical location I just left."
ZeldaQueen: Excuse me?!?
"No. You mustn't do that," Flamel tried to argue.
A huge groaning echo sounded through the station. Harry didn't appear nervous when the walls began to shake or when the ground underneath the unused rails buckled. Finally a massive tearing sound echoed through the room.
ZeldaQueen: Canon ripped to pieces and everyone was sucked into a black void. The end
"Harry, what have you done?"
The determined man just stared at the ancient alchemist. "I'm setting things right again."
ZeldaQueen: Arrogant bugger. Again, how is it up to him to decide what's "right"?
A massive swirl of blackness, like a tear of canvas on which a movie was shown, appeared in front of Harry Potter. Without a second thought, Harry stepped through it.
ZeldaQueen: You can't do that! Seriously, what evidence is there that you can travel through time there? None! How would Harry know that, even if it was? And how would he be able to know how to do it?
And how wonderful that DW here also misinterpreted the meaning of "Master of Death". Harry was the Master of Death because he was alright with letting himself die. It means that you're at peace with Death, not that you can use it as a means to run willy-nilly through time!
He opened his eyes again…back in the forest. It was a different place, though. The air smelled a bit dirtier and the road noise nearby was much subdued. Was it coal dust in the air? Or the lead from the gasoline of the day?
ZeldaQueen: And of course it works. Bugger
He quickly searched himself to ensure all his belongings had made the trip with him.
ZeldaQueen: Self-strip search!
He still had his powerful wand,
ZeldaQueen: Nice to spit on your holly wand there. "Powerful wand", as opposed to the other one
his cloak, and his stone.
ZeldaQueen: No, the old Harry had stones. You, you whiny bastard, have about as many as Edward Cullen
He had his portable vault filled with gold and muggle identity papers and 'antique' hundred pound notes.
ZeldaQueen: And he acquired these...how?
He had three shrunken trunks filled with the books, potions, and other items he would need for his quest.
ZeldaQueen: Well, so much for conflict
Harry disapparated. He had only months to find and destroy the horcruxes, to establish his muggle identity, and to be prepared to save the lives of his grandparents.
ZeldaQueen: Huh? What? According to Rowling, Harry's grandparents died of a wizarding illness and were both very much up in the years (even by wizard standards). Is he supposed to make them younger or something?
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June 28, 1976
Harry swore loudly. He'd half known that the cavern filled with inferi wouldn't exist yet – as Regulus Black was still in his fourth or maybe fifth year at Hogwarts and wouldn't have joined the Death Eaters yet – but seeing the proof with his eyes left Harry Potter angry.
ZeldaQueen: But why wouldn't that particular place exist yet? I got the feeling that Regulus wasn't the first person dragged into the water
The horcrux hunt had gone very well until this major stumbling point.
The Peverell ring at the Gaunt shack had already been broken and the horcrux dispelled. Harry figured his arrival as the Master of the three Hallows had been enough to overwhelm the evil object.
ZeldaQueen: Author, "Master of Death" is a peaceful title. From what I understand, it gets about as much power as saying one is the Half-Blood Prince. Why would a Horcrux care?
To avoid a paradox, the stone Voldemort had used as a horcrux had simply ceased to exist. Harry did wonder what had happened to Dumbledore's copy of the Elder Wand and the Potter Cloak of Invisibility. Perhaps all three Hallows had disappeared from their original owners.
ZeldaQueen: *sings* I give up, I don't care, yadda, yadda, yadda!
The Ravenclaw artifact had been the easiest to actually capture. He had arranged a simple decoy – a massive explosion in the Forbidden Forest – while Harry snuck into the castle. The teachers had flown from the school to the Forest suspecting some kind of Death Eater attack. Harry used his Cloak and made it to and from the Room of Requirement in less than ninety minutes. Most of the time had been spent searching the rubbish filled room.
ZeldaQueen: Oh that's nice! Blow up the forest when you probably could have snuck in just as easily! I shudder to think how big of an explosion it would be to get all of the Hogwarts teachers to come running immediately
The diary held by the Malfoys had been trickier. Harry had had to kill Abraxus Malfoy and burn the Manor down to cover the theft.
ZeldaQueen: HARRY DOES NOT KILL PEOPLE! For Christ's sake, author, did you completely miss the whole theme of Harry always disarming first and foremost?
Given his own brief experience in the dungeons of the Manor, Harry hadn't minded destroying the place. Surprisingly, for as foul as Abraxas had been, he was even a weaker duelist than Lucius would be in adulthood.
ZeldaQueen: Yes Harry, gloat about how easy it was to commit murder. How lovely
The Hufflepuff cup had been kept not by the Lestranges or in the Lestrange Gringotts vault, but rather by Orion Black, Sirius' father and Voldemort's then right hand.
ZeldaQueen: Now then, I do believe I can arm myself with canon here... *clears throat*
"'[W]ere your parents Death Eaters as well?'
'No, no...they got cold feet when they saw what he was prepared to do to get power"
~ Order of the Phoenix, The Noble And Most Ancient House Of Black
ZeldaQueen: Horcruxes were a piece of Voldemort's freaking soul. He only gave them to his most loyal followers. That quote right there? Proof that Sirius's father was never his right hand. Phail
As Harry knew Number 12 Grimmauld Place all too well, it had been easy to leave a duplicate cup in its place. It had been odd walking into the home that didn't possess a screaming portrait of Walburga Black – as she was still among the living.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, how I wish he'd been caught by the real thing
But where would Voldemort have left the blasted locket?
ZeldaQueen: Up your butt and around the corner!
He decided to check this stupid cavern again. He was standing inside the small antechamber Harry remembered all too well. Harry pulled a small silver dagger and cut his palm. He flicked blood on every surface of that horrifying niche. Nothing registered; no magical door opened.
ZeldaQueen: I love how he's getting all pissy over this. What's wrong Harry? Not getting your way?
Voldemort had Slytherin's locket somewhere else.
ZeldaQueen: Duh?
This was a complication Harry had expected…but still didn't know how to overcome.
ZeldaQueen: Given that you're now a Jerk Stu, I'm actually rooting for your failure. Hooray!
It was either with a Death Eater, on Voldemort's person (as he was known to move continuously to avoid attack), or in a less secure, but still hidden, location.
Harry needed to revise his plan.
ZeldaQueen: Maybe to have just gone back in time and offed Ginny? *receives a note from the future* Huh, apparently I'm going to really regret suggesting that
He had to save lives, prevent the timeline from shifting beyond recognition, and find that final horcrux.
ZeldaQueen: Yeah, good luck with that. I hope you get sucked into a time paradox
Harry didn't want to think of what kind of chaos would occur if Voldemort lost his body at this point? Would the evil wraith attempt the same means of resurrection – at the same time, using the same victims? Or would he try different, unpredictable things?
Harry wasn't about to find out.
He wanted a nice, clean, final ending for Voldemort.
ZeldaQueen: And he'd calculate shrewdly and coldly for it
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August 3, 1976
ZeldaQueen: Is that when lightning strikes the belltower?
Harry Potter walked into a dingy office.
"We're only buying," the receptionist said in an annoyed voice. "We don't sell anything to the public here."
"Good thing. I'm selling, not buying."
"Sorry. We get a lot of curious people dropping by asking inane question. 'Do you have gold rings?' We're not that kind of gold dealer… Do you have a license?"
ZeldaQueen: This is incredibly stupid and boring
Harry nodded. He lifted his briefcase to the counter. Once opened the receptionist saw that the man had brought along four ingots as well.
"Samples?"
Harry nodded and handed the woman his documentation.
She read the papers, picked up a phone, and then nodded to Harry. "If you'll take a seat, Mr. Franklin, one of our buyers will be out for you."
ZeldaQueen: Please say he had the sense of humor to make his alias first name "Benjamin"
Harry just nodded again and took a seat.
In this world, Harry Potter didn't exist. Thomas Franklin,
ZeldaQueen: Oh you bastard. Deny me that one little bit of amusement, will you?
however, did own a small flat in Manchester and it was filled with many odd and wonderful things.
ZeldaQueen: Like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
Mr. Franklin also possessed quite a few very well endowed
ZeldaQueen: Meep!
bank accounts throughout Britain and Ireland. He had registered as a trader in precious metals and stones. He maintained a small office in a dingy office building near the banking sector. He attended estate auctions and did other public business to show where he was acquiring some of the gold he had a license to smelt.
ZeldaQueen: How utterly, utterly convenient. I'm sorry, but where's the conflict here? He magically has everything prepared!
It wasn't much of a cover, but it served.
It also permitted Harry to convert his gold bullion from the future into pounds for his present needs. Harry needed enough money to ensure he survived long enough to watch over his yet-to-be-born-self, to make sure the infant Harry grew up with a happy childhood. Harry wanted to watch himself graduate from Hogwarts and get married and have children. He needed enough cash to survive for twenty years or longer in the muggle world.
ZeldaQueen: Okay...that's not at all creepy
Seriously, it sounds like his younger self is his son or something
Harry had made the hard choice to hide from the wizarding world…to not know his grandparents, his parents, the witches and wizards he remembered. He could see them but not speak to them…not get to have relationships with them or learn their histories from their own mouths.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, just as hard as it was to not be able to catch Pettigrew or steal back the invisibility cloak before Snape could get it? Bite me!
It was the choice he'd made.
He reached out to pluck a stale looking
ZeldaQueen: Doughnut
Economist from the coffee table when he heard his name called.
ZeldaQueen: It was a team of PPC agents. Canon was quickly restored and everyone cheered
Harry looked up, smiled, and walked over to the burly man who'd come to speak with him.
Harry followed the man back into his grimy burrow of offices and took a seat. He opened his briefcase and put the four ingots onto the desk. The burly man lit up in interest.
ZeldaQueen: Is he going to have sex with him or something?
"How many like this?"
"Right now, I have perhaps two hundred troy ounces available."
ZeldaQueen: "Troy" ounces? Am I missing something here?
In reality, Harry had many, many thousands of ounces, but the current price of gold was nothing compared to what it would be in a few short years. He would sell little bits when gold was cheap and wait for the greener days ahead.
ZeldaQueen: Ah yes, because Harry in the books was so often informed of the value of things like gold and planed ahead like that...
The burly man smiled. "If this tests pure, I think we can do business."
ZeldaQueen: Jesus, he is going to have sex with him!
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October 31, 1976
The Code of Harry was the name for the set of rules Harry Potter had decided upon to ensure 1)
ZeldaQueen: You do not talk about the Code of Harry
he didn't get too caught up in vengeance for the life he had led
ZeldaQueen: Erm, Harry dear? The very fact that you traveled back in time after condemning Dumbledore to hell makes me think it's a wee bit too late for that
and 2)
ZeldaQueen: Don't ever feed it after midnight
he didn't change too much in this timeline and negate all the foreknowledge he had.
ZeldaQueen: As we'll later be seeing, this rule is rather laughable
Among other things, the Code stipulated that:
--Everyone would be given one chance to make a mistake and repent, rather than Dumbledore's apparent policy of unlimited chances.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, how dare Dumbledore be forgiving? The bastard!
A Death Eater caught in a raid would be stunned if possible, but only the first time. If he attacked again in a future raid, Harry wouldn't hesitate to kill him.
ZeldaQueen: Oh, that's nice! Thank you, DW, for taking a nice dump all over the most prominent characteristic of Harry Potter!
The same for politicians: each one could be forgiven a single piece of bigoted or incendiary legislation, but not a second.
ZeldaQueen: This version of Harry ought to team up with Rose Potter. The Ministry of Magic wouldn't last two days and then all of the wizarding world would bow down to them and their naked splendor
--People who were supposed to have died in raids, according to the original timeline, would be taken to safe houses until Voldemort was well and truly dead.
ZeldaQueen: How's he going to manage that? Is Harry going to pretty much abduct people and force them to these safe houses? What if they refuse to go? And how did Harry set up these safe houses? This makes no sense!
It would be to the world as if they had died, which should help to ensure that the timeline didn't vary much past what Harry already knew.
ZeldaQueen: Um no, it would only be like if they died if you locked them up and never let them leave the safe houses again. Which, I might add, is a huge human rights violation and honestly makes Harry no better than the idiots he's apparently crusading against
Wouldn't do to have Voldemort making three separate raids on the same target and throwing off the planning from what he'd done the first time around: how would Harry cope with that?
ZeldaQueen: Yes, it certainly wouldn't do to have one of the Great Harry Potter's plans fail, now would it?
When Voldemort's time had passed, Harry would unveil the rescued victims to the world.
ZeldaQueen: Again, that'd still screw up the future, seeing as there are now people in the world who aren't dead. People who will affect the world and interact with others and have children who shouldn't exist and they'll go on and has this author never heard of the butterfly effect?
I guess it sailed over DW's head that Rowling deliberately made time travel in the third book ambiguous as to whether or not Buckbeak died "the first time" or whether it infinitely looped
Harry had already placed three targeted families into hiding.
ZeldaQueen: My mind boggles as to how he managed that
--No witch or wizard was to ever see his face or hear his name. Obliviation was his preferred technique for masking himself from the people he'd rescued.
ZeldaQueen: I'm sure people appreciate having their minds screwed up. Thank you so very much, Harry
--Harry wouldn't deal with the Ministry or Dumbledore in any major way until after he'd dealt with Voldemort and his horcruxes. No change of any importance could happen until Voldemort and the worst of his pureblood supporters were out of the picture.
ZeldaQueen: After that, of course, no holds are barred
These elements of Harry's moral code, designed to keep his time travel secret and his foreknowledge of Voldemort's plans safe, caused him to pause for a moment as he saw an unconscious Lucius Malfoy stunned on the floor of the Manor he was raiding. His first intention was to just kill Lucius and be done with it.
ZeldaQueen: HARRY DOES NOT KILL! GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL, DW!!!
However, the tickling of morality caused him to rethink his plan.
ZeldaQueen: "The tickling of morality", yes just say it like it's an afterthought. You know full well that not killing was Harry's defining trait
The young family Head had probably just graduated from Hogwarts…and seemed to be clear of the Dark Mark…but Harry was too strongly influenced by his remembrances of the corrupting man.
ZeldaQueen: Who Harry apparently had been taking lessons off of
The man had used a horcrux to unleash a basilisk.
ZeldaQueen: What's wrong Harry, weren't you blaming Dumbledore for that one? Actually, I'm surprised that he isn't also blaming That Whore Ginny for it
He'd participated in a raid on the Ministry of Magic that had gotten his godfather killed.
ZeldaQueen: You know, that was just as much your fault, you dolt
He'd gone back to his old bribery tricks a few years after the war…which was the reason Kingsley Shacklebolt had finally been made Minister.
ZeldaQueen: Um no, Kingsley was made Minister because the old one was a puppet used by Voldemort and the one before was murdered
The man would grow up corrupted and vile…
But that had been the old Lucius.
ZeldaQueen: (Harry) "Oh what the hell? " *murders casually*
Perhaps some investigation was required. Harry transfigured the stunned Malfoy into a ferret (ah, a good Hogwarts memory) and slipped the beast into his pocket.
ZeldaQueen: WHAT THE HELL?
Author, do you know anything about Harry's character? There is no way he would transform a helpless person into a strange form to kidnap him! And he certainly wouldn't be happily reminiscing about how the same transformation was used to humiliate that person's son! You know who'd do something like that? Draco Malfoy!!!
Harry moved through the rest of Flint Manor searching for the blasted Slytherin locket.
ZeldaQueen: Wait, what? Wasn't he just in the Malfoy Manor? How'd he get here? Is Malfoy still a ferret? Hello?
He didn't have all that long left to destroy Voldemort and save his grandparents' lives.
ZeldaQueen: His grandparents died of natural causes! You can't stop that!
The idea of compromising on the two goals – saving his grandparents, while letting Voldemort continue his reign of terror until Harry finally had the Slytherin locket – hadn't yet coalesced in Harry's mind.
ZeldaQueen: Yes, because heaven forbid you be unable to rape the laws of time and space to suit your selfish desires!
Harry found nothing of the locket at Flint Manor, but he did discover the remains of three women in the dungeons. Witches, muggles or hags, Harry would never know.
When he walked out of the small, dark manor, he set it on fire. He was only upset that he'd drug all the Flints outside beforehand. He had to give them the benefit of the doubt. Onward to: Chapter 2: My Kingdom For A... Horcrux (Part 2)
ZeldaQueen: Author, that doesn't make me think that Harry's noble any more than I think Edward Cullen's "I guess I can murder everyone in that tribe...meh, probably not" does. That makes me think that Harry is a deranged nut who needs Ron, Hermione, and everyone else he knows to catch him and get him intense therapy
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Back to: Chapter 1: Even The Hardest Stones Crumble (Part 2)
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Since you're having things pop out of existence when he changes stuff in the past, I am curious--if he kills Voldemort before he's even born, that means Lily and James might wait a while before getting married--no urgency. That means YOU might pop right out of existence, because you were conceived on a very specific date with a very specific ovum and a very specific spermatozoa. You can't just use any old egg and sperm to get you, you know. It has to be THOSE TWO EXACTLY. That's how it works.
And I hope you realize that killing people willy-nilly in the past is very bad. Oh. You don't. Never mind. You don't even know what the phrase "master of death" means.
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And if the old versions of the Deathly Hallows disappeared when Harry's versions came with him, what happens when Next Harry is born? (Assuming of course, that there is a Next Harry.)
By the way, there is another time travel fix-it fic out there (which is actually not that bad) that uses Avada Kedavra as a send off. Hmmm.
no subject
I don't want to spoil anything, but about Next Harry? Do you really think that this Jerk Stu is going to not get his way in any of this? >_
no subject
"Don't get caught, blend in, and don't kill anyone until you're absolutely sure they deserve it."
At least that's what it is in Dexter, and it makes a lot more sense than that crap up there, even in the context of this story.
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Yeah... Everyone is evil deserves to die, unless he can use them, and in that case, they deserve to die after he's extracted their information and they don't change their ways in a way he deems "right". It's like an unholy mix of the worst parts of Sweeney Todd and Lord Voldemort. ]8
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Second, I notice that Abraxus gets no chances.
Third, Heil Harry! Der Führer, Herr Potter, ist der Vater auf Britain!
no subject
*After killing Abraxus and burning down the Malfoy Manor*
Harry: Okay, I can't afford to make any more mistakes.
*After abducting Lucius*
Harry: All right, this is the last time, I swear!
no subject
It'd basically convince of either suddenly turning into Satan to send people's souls to hell and claiming that he had every reason to do it, or shooting people with a shotgun for no reason and claiming that he has every reason to do it. It would end with Harry being arrested by the Canon Police and revealed to be the author in a Harry Potter costume.
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Nice job turning Harry into freaking Sasuke Uchiha, DW.
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If this story doesn't end with him in St. Mungo's or Azkaban, I'm going to be disappointed.
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