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zelda_queen) wrote2011-12-16 12:51 am
zelda_queen) wrote2011-12-16 12:51 am
Entry tags:
Betrayed: Chapter 31
ZeldaQueen: Aiyah, I've let this one sit for too long! Time to get this puppy finished!
Also, a happy belated birthday to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
angel_renoir and cleolinda, and a happy on-time birthday to overlordmikey!
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 31
ZeldaQueen: Well, I hope you guys found the last few chapters exciting, because that’s what we’re getting by way of climax. Yes, I know they suck. I suppose we should be grateful we got it before the second-to-last chapter.
After Zoey is mind wiped by Neferet (who, what a shocker, is the BAD GUY), she finds herself in a pretty meadow at the edge of a forest, with lilacs and a crystal stream and it’s all idyllic, blah, blah, blah. Zoey can hear a man’s voice asking her if she’s alright, and she continues to feel the nagging sensation that she ought to be remembering something because “she” needs Zoey to remember it.
And who is this mysterious woman who has been dragged in so suddenly? Why Nyx, of course! Yes, that bitch is back! Zoey is apparently so special that she gets two personal visits from the vampire goddess! I have a feeling that this will be a trend. Anyway, Nyx is sitting on a rock, dipping her feet in the river and sounding like she’s posing for the cover of a Taylor Swift album. Zoey asks if she’s dead and Nyx replies “Will you ask that of me each time I visit you, Zoey Redbird?”
First of all, Zoey has only met with Nyx twice. That does not make for a very good running gag, Cast ladies, and thus makes lampshading it rather weak.
Second of all, how ridiculous that Zoey thinks she’s dead! She just passed out, lost her memories, woke up in a hometown version of the Elysian Fields, and met with the vampire deity. Seriously, this is just stupid.
Zoey apologizes, and we get mention that “My words were tinged pink, probably blushing like my cheeks” which confused the heck out of me until I remembered the very pointless detail from Marked about how Zoey passed out before and could see her words visibly in front of her. By this point, I think it’s canon - Zoey is a stoner. That’s why she can see her colorful words floating in front of her like she’s in Pepperland, and that’s why she thinks a goddess is talking to her.
Well, hallucination or no, apparently Nyx is meeting Zoey in person to…congratulate her on a job well done. What? HOW?!? WHAT DID SHE DO??? I’m dead serious! Was it confronting the red-eyed ghosts? Because if so, Zoey didn’t lift a finger to do anything about them until her boyfriend was kidnapped, and even then Aphrodite practically had to kick her in the ass to get her to have the climax! So Zoey saved Heath! Good for them, but that’s hardly significant! She didn’t stop the ghosts, she didn’t find out a way to save them, she burnt one of them to death, she didn’t inform the police about them, she didn’t confine them, which means that they’re still free to kidnap and eat people, and she was caught by Neferet. I’d say Zoey actually did a mediocre job at best.
*sigh* But no, Nyx gives Zoey hugs and kisses and tells her it’s time to wake up. Before ending the drug trip, she tells Zoey “And also I wish to remind you that the elements can restore as well as destroy”. That’s good to know, although Zoey really doesn’t use them for anything as it is.
Regardless, Zoey wakes up and finds that she’s lying on the ground outside, with Detective Marx trying to help her cut through the purple haze. Erm, I mean regain consciousness. Zoey’s head is all fuzzy, but she remembers that she should be worried about Heath. Marx shows her that Heath is being loaded into an ambulance and is going to be fine. A paramedic also tries to take Zoey, but Marx says that she doesn’t need the hospital as long as she gets back to the House of Night. The paramedic apparently gives Zoey a look like she’s a freak, and I still don’t understand that. She apparently is a bit pale, has a tattoo on her forehead, and…looks exactly like a normal teenager otherwise. In any case, I still fail to see how the paramedic is as horrible as humans are made out to be. He was perfectly willing to take her in for medical attention. That jab was just out of nowhere.
Marx helps Zoey into his car and she manages to cut through the haze to remember Persephone. There’s some wanking about how Zoey was braver than all of the police officers, because while they took her back to the police stables until the road to the House of Night was cleared, none of the dared to ride her. Or maybe it’s because Zoey is one of the horse’s owners and it’s a bad idea to ride an animal one isn’t familiar with. Granted I’ve never ridden a horse, but it sounds like sticking your face into a strange dog’s face.
As Marx drives Zoey back to the House of Night, he asks her what happened. We get a pointless reminder about his vampire sister and how Zoey feels she can trust him. Yes it’s nice, but Zoey already has told this guy stuff and called him for help. I think it’s safe to say she trusts him. Anyway, she tells him that her memories are screwy and that the last thing she can remember is realizing she could use her Imprint to find Heath. Marx apparently knows all about Imprints because he was always curious about vampires and asked his sister all sorts of stuff, and Zoey is amazed because OH WOW, A HUMAN? KNOWING VAMPIRE THINGS? UNHEARD OF!
You know, I’ve gone into how it makes no sense that the vampires feel the need to hide everything from humans. But it seriously disturbs me that humans aren’t expected to know about Imprinting. This is basically the equivalent of marriage on some spiritual level, and all we’re told is how it’s ultra-serious and should never be taken lightly. It’s canon that vampires have Imprinted with humans before. So tell me, why aren’t humans allowed to know about it? This isn’t some private vampire matter. The humans are being dragged into it as well! Are humans that consent to being bitten by vampires told about the possibility of Imprinting? If not, that’s just horrible! That’s like having sex with a person and not mentioning until after “Oh yeah, and you just caught a very rare STD that only people in my community have”. Not to mention that it’s very stupid because if Heath’s parents had been told about how their son had Imprinted with Zoey, perhaps they might have cooperated and known why Heath was suddenly having hallucinations about his previous girlfriend!
Again, NO WONDER THE HUMANS DON’T LIKE THESE TWITS! THE VAMPIRES DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO EXCLUDE THEM, EVEN WHEN IT’S ABOUT MATTERS CLEARLY PERTAINING TO HUMANS!!!
Zoey randomly contemplates telling Marx about Aphrodite’s vision of Heath, which is a contrived way to start to lead us back to how Neferet is Evil (even though Zoey apparently didn’t make that connection the first time around) which leads to Zoey getting a splitting headache, presumably for treading into memory territory that Neferet blocked off. Again, I have to wonder why Neferet didn’t mind wipe more people causing her problems. Clearly it also isn’t easy for the memories to be regained!
Marx continues to try to guide Zoey to her lost memories and asks why she didn’t just call him when she knew where Heath was. Honestly buddy, I can’t answer that one myself. Zoey rubs her head and realizes that someone messed with her head, which she is justifiably pissed off about. Marx continues to be a rare example of a responsible police officer and tells Zoey not to try to remember something that causes her those headaches. She tells him that it's like chunks of her memories are gone, and he understands what she means, because his sister "warned me once that if I ever pissed off a High Priestess I would be in serious trouble because they had ways of erasing things, and what she meant by things was people and memories". He then asks Zoey "what have you done to piss off a High Priestess?"
*rubs forehead* Yet again, there is so much potential in that little bit there, yet it's all wasted! Apparently it's not common knowledge amongst the humans that High Priestesses can erase memories, but Marx's sister cared enough about her brother to warn him of that danger. Now, he knows that there is a High Priestess in the town he's living in, who has just wiped the mind of the student who saved one of the missing boys. Common sense would say that Zoey found out something forbidden, which would in turn imply that the High Priestess - Neferet - has something she's hiding. Add in the fact that Heath was found drained of blood and that the vampires are already under suspicion of being involved, and there's the potential for an interesting story where Zoey is trying to solve the mystery of what Neferet is up to, while Detective Marx acts as her contact to the human world, where as a police officer and an adult, he can be taken seriously.
Not to mention that yet again, it raises questions about the fact that the vampires keep stuff like that from the humans. We've been told nothing about the agreements between the vampires and the humans. I'd imagine that a good number of people would want to know if there's someone living in the area who could erase their memories any time they wanted. Given that Neferet here has clearly gone insane and begun to do so, I'd say that'd be a pretty justified fear! That would be something good to be addressed!
But no, there's none of that. Both of them just go quiet, until Zoey forces out the memory of Neferet drinking Elliot's blood (and yes, she still refers to that poor boy as "that creature Elliot"). Regaining this memory makes Zoey start to throw up, because I guess that's how things roll with the Cast ladies. Diarrhea is for jokes, vomiting is for tension. Right. Anyway, Detective Marx stops the car and Zoey stumbles out to puke. Marx, who by now has become one of the most sympathetic characters in the book, holds back Zoey's hair and calms her down and
gives her a handkerchief to clean herself up with.
They finally reach the House of Night, where Marx lets Zoey in through the back way. Surprise, surprise, this is right by the east wall. Marx makes a contrived mention of Zoey having her memories restored, which trips up Zoey's memory of her meeting with Nyx. Ho boy.
Zoey asks if Marx can wait in the truck and let her go onto the grounds alone for a minute. She heads off under the old oak treeto tie a yellow ribbon around it. She then...well, see for yourselves
"'Wind, I call you to me and this time I ask that you blow clean any dark taint that has touched my mind.' I felt a gust of cold, like I was being battered by my own personal hurricane, but it wasn't pressing against my body. It was filling my mind. I kept my eyes tightly closed and blocked out the throbbing ache that had returned to my temples. 'Fire, I call you to me and ask that you burn from my mind any darkness that has touched it.' Heat filled my head, only it wasn't like the hot spear that I'd felt earlier. Instead it was a nice warmth, like a heating pad on a pulled muscle. 'Water, I call you to me and ask that you wash from my mind the darkness that has touched it.' Coolness flooded through the warmth, soothing what had been overheated and bringing incredible relief. 'Earth, I call you to me and ask that your nurturing strength take from my mind the darkness that has touched it.' From the bottoms of my feet, where I was connected firmly to the earth, it was as if a faucet had opened and I imagined putrid darkness running down and out of my body to be consumed by the strength and goodness of the earth. 'And, spirit, I ask that you heal what darkness has destroyed in my mind, and restore my memory!' Something snapped within me and a white-hot familiar sensation shot down my back, dropping me heavily to my knees."
ZeldaQueen: And...that's it. Marx runs over and helps Zoey back up and she's a pleased because *drumroll please* she's got her memories back.
I shall repeat that. She has gotten her memories back.
That particular conflict was stretched out for only this chapter.
That particular conflict was resolved after only one paragraph of actual effort.
Because of this, a majority of the chapter - any parts where Zoey was struggling to regain her memories - have been rendered entirely pointless.
That's it. That's all that there was in this chapter. Some driving in a car, a few snippets of dialogue, and a hastily-constructed piece of conflict that was resolved in exactly the same chapter it began in.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER AGAIN?
*huffs* I'm off for a nap. Only one chapter left before we're done. Good riddance!
Onward to: Chapter 32
Back to: Chapter 30
Back to: Table of Contents
Also, a happy belated birthday to
angel_renoir and cleolinda, and a happy on-time birthday to overlordmikey!Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
Chapter 31
ZeldaQueen: Well, I hope you guys found the last few chapters exciting, because that’s what we’re getting by way of climax. Yes, I know they suck. I suppose we should be grateful we got it before the second-to-last chapter.
After Zoey is mind wiped by Neferet (who, what a shocker, is the BAD GUY), she finds herself in a pretty meadow at the edge of a forest, with lilacs and a crystal stream and it’s all idyllic, blah, blah, blah. Zoey can hear a man’s voice asking her if she’s alright, and she continues to feel the nagging sensation that she ought to be remembering something because “she” needs Zoey to remember it.
And who is this mysterious woman who has been dragged in so suddenly? Why Nyx, of course! Yes, that bitch is back! Zoey is apparently so special that she gets two personal visits from the vampire goddess! I have a feeling that this will be a trend. Anyway, Nyx is sitting on a rock, dipping her feet in the river and sounding like she’s posing for the cover of a Taylor Swift album. Zoey asks if she’s dead and Nyx replies “Will you ask that of me each time I visit you, Zoey Redbird?”
First of all, Zoey has only met with Nyx twice. That does not make for a very good running gag, Cast ladies, and thus makes lampshading it rather weak.
Second of all, how ridiculous that Zoey thinks she’s dead! She just passed out, lost her memories, woke up in a hometown version of the Elysian Fields, and met with the vampire deity. Seriously, this is just stupid.
Zoey apologizes, and we get mention that “My words were tinged pink, probably blushing like my cheeks” which confused the heck out of me until I remembered the very pointless detail from Marked about how Zoey passed out before and could see her words visibly in front of her. By this point, I think it’s canon - Zoey is a stoner. That’s why she can see her colorful words floating in front of her like she’s in Pepperland, and that’s why she thinks a goddess is talking to her.
Well, hallucination or no, apparently Nyx is meeting Zoey in person to…congratulate her on a job well done. What? HOW?!? WHAT DID SHE DO??? I’m dead serious! Was it confronting the red-eyed ghosts? Because if so, Zoey didn’t lift a finger to do anything about them until her boyfriend was kidnapped, and even then Aphrodite practically had to kick her in the ass to get her to have the climax! So Zoey saved Heath! Good for them, but that’s hardly significant! She didn’t stop the ghosts, she didn’t find out a way to save them, she burnt one of them to death, she didn’t inform the police about them, she didn’t confine them, which means that they’re still free to kidnap and eat people, and she was caught by Neferet. I’d say Zoey actually did a mediocre job at best.
*sigh* But no, Nyx gives Zoey hugs and kisses and tells her it’s time to wake up. Before ending the drug trip, she tells Zoey “And also I wish to remind you that the elements can restore as well as destroy”. That’s good to know, although Zoey really doesn’t use them for anything as it is.
Regardless, Zoey wakes up and finds that she’s lying on the ground outside, with Detective Marx trying to help her cut through the purple haze. Erm, I mean regain consciousness. Zoey’s head is all fuzzy, but she remembers that she should be worried about Heath. Marx shows her that Heath is being loaded into an ambulance and is going to be fine. A paramedic also tries to take Zoey, but Marx says that she doesn’t need the hospital as long as she gets back to the House of Night. The paramedic apparently gives Zoey a look like she’s a freak, and I still don’t understand that. She apparently is a bit pale, has a tattoo on her forehead, and…looks exactly like a normal teenager otherwise. In any case, I still fail to see how the paramedic is as horrible as humans are made out to be. He was perfectly willing to take her in for medical attention. That jab was just out of nowhere.
Marx helps Zoey into his car and she manages to cut through the haze to remember Persephone. There’s some wanking about how Zoey was braver than all of the police officers, because while they took her back to the police stables until the road to the House of Night was cleared, none of the dared to ride her. Or maybe it’s because Zoey is one of the horse’s owners and it’s a bad idea to ride an animal one isn’t familiar with. Granted I’ve never ridden a horse, but it sounds like sticking your face into a strange dog’s face.
As Marx drives Zoey back to the House of Night, he asks her what happened. We get a pointless reminder about his vampire sister and how Zoey feels she can trust him. Yes it’s nice, but Zoey already has told this guy stuff and called him for help. I think it’s safe to say she trusts him. Anyway, she tells him that her memories are screwy and that the last thing she can remember is realizing she could use her Imprint to find Heath. Marx apparently knows all about Imprints because he was always curious about vampires and asked his sister all sorts of stuff, and Zoey is amazed because OH WOW, A HUMAN? KNOWING VAMPIRE THINGS? UNHEARD OF!
You know, I’ve gone into how it makes no sense that the vampires feel the need to hide everything from humans. But it seriously disturbs me that humans aren’t expected to know about Imprinting. This is basically the equivalent of marriage on some spiritual level, and all we’re told is how it’s ultra-serious and should never be taken lightly. It’s canon that vampires have Imprinted with humans before. So tell me, why aren’t humans allowed to know about it? This isn’t some private vampire matter. The humans are being dragged into it as well! Are humans that consent to being bitten by vampires told about the possibility of Imprinting? If not, that’s just horrible! That’s like having sex with a person and not mentioning until after “Oh yeah, and you just caught a very rare STD that only people in my community have”. Not to mention that it’s very stupid because if Heath’s parents had been told about how their son had Imprinted with Zoey, perhaps they might have cooperated and known why Heath was suddenly having hallucinations about his previous girlfriend!
Again, NO WONDER THE HUMANS DON’T LIKE THESE TWITS! THE VAMPIRES DO EVERYTHING POSSIBLE TO EXCLUDE THEM, EVEN WHEN IT’S ABOUT MATTERS CLEARLY PERTAINING TO HUMANS!!!
Zoey randomly contemplates telling Marx about Aphrodite’s vision of Heath, which is a contrived way to start to lead us back to how Neferet is Evil (even though Zoey apparently didn’t make that connection the first time around) which leads to Zoey getting a splitting headache, presumably for treading into memory territory that Neferet blocked off. Again, I have to wonder why Neferet didn’t mind wipe more people causing her problems. Clearly it also isn’t easy for the memories to be regained!
Marx continues to try to guide Zoey to her lost memories and asks why she didn’t just call him when she knew where Heath was. Honestly buddy, I can’t answer that one myself. Zoey rubs her head and realizes that someone messed with her head, which she is justifiably pissed off about. Marx continues to be a rare example of a responsible police officer and tells Zoey not to try to remember something that causes her those headaches. She tells him that it's like chunks of her memories are gone, and he understands what she means, because his sister "warned me once that if I ever pissed off a High Priestess I would be in serious trouble because they had ways of erasing things, and what she meant by things was people and memories". He then asks Zoey "what have you done to piss off a High Priestess?"
*rubs forehead* Yet again, there is so much potential in that little bit there, yet it's all wasted! Apparently it's not common knowledge amongst the humans that High Priestesses can erase memories, but Marx's sister cared enough about her brother to warn him of that danger. Now, he knows that there is a High Priestess in the town he's living in, who has just wiped the mind of the student who saved one of the missing boys. Common sense would say that Zoey found out something forbidden, which would in turn imply that the High Priestess - Neferet - has something she's hiding. Add in the fact that Heath was found drained of blood and that the vampires are already under suspicion of being involved, and there's the potential for an interesting story where Zoey is trying to solve the mystery of what Neferet is up to, while Detective Marx acts as her contact to the human world, where as a police officer and an adult, he can be taken seriously.
Not to mention that yet again, it raises questions about the fact that the vampires keep stuff like that from the humans. We've been told nothing about the agreements between the vampires and the humans. I'd imagine that a good number of people would want to know if there's someone living in the area who could erase their memories any time they wanted. Given that Neferet here has clearly gone insane and begun to do so, I'd say that'd be a pretty justified fear! That would be something good to be addressed!
But no, there's none of that. Both of them just go quiet, until Zoey forces out the memory of Neferet drinking Elliot's blood (and yes, she still refers to that poor boy as "that creature Elliot"). Regaining this memory makes Zoey start to throw up, because I guess that's how things roll with the Cast ladies. Diarrhea is for jokes, vomiting is for tension. Right. Anyway, Detective Marx stops the car and Zoey stumbles out to puke. Marx, who by now has become one of the most sympathetic characters in the book, holds back Zoey's hair and calms her down and
gives her a handkerchief to clean herself up with.
They finally reach the House of Night, where Marx lets Zoey in through the back way. Surprise, surprise, this is right by the east wall. Marx makes a contrived mention of Zoey having her memories restored, which trips up Zoey's memory of her meeting with Nyx. Ho boy.
Zoey asks if Marx can wait in the truck and let her go onto the grounds alone for a minute. She heads off under the old oak tree
"'Wind, I call you to me and this time I ask that you blow clean any dark taint that has touched my mind.' I felt a gust of cold, like I was being battered by my own personal hurricane, but it wasn't pressing against my body. It was filling my mind. I kept my eyes tightly closed and blocked out the throbbing ache that had returned to my temples. 'Fire, I call you to me and ask that you burn from my mind any darkness that has touched it.' Heat filled my head, only it wasn't like the hot spear that I'd felt earlier. Instead it was a nice warmth, like a heating pad on a pulled muscle. 'Water, I call you to me and ask that you wash from my mind the darkness that has touched it.' Coolness flooded through the warmth, soothing what had been overheated and bringing incredible relief. 'Earth, I call you to me and ask that your nurturing strength take from my mind the darkness that has touched it.' From the bottoms of my feet, where I was connected firmly to the earth, it was as if a faucet had opened and I imagined putrid darkness running down and out of my body to be consumed by the strength and goodness of the earth. 'And, spirit, I ask that you heal what darkness has destroyed in my mind, and restore my memory!' Something snapped within me and a white-hot familiar sensation shot down my back, dropping me heavily to my knees."
ZeldaQueen: And...that's it. Marx runs over and helps Zoey back up and she's a pleased because *drumroll please* she's got her memories back.
I shall repeat that. She has gotten her memories back.
That particular conflict was stretched out for only this chapter.
That particular conflict was resolved after only one paragraph of actual effort.
Because of this, a majority of the chapter - any parts where Zoey was struggling to regain her memories - have been rendered entirely pointless.
That's it. That's all that there was in this chapter. Some driving in a car, a few snippets of dialogue, and a hastily-constructed piece of conflict that was resolved in exactly the same chapter it began in.
WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS CHAPTER AGAIN?
*huffs* I'm off for a nap. Only one chapter left before we're done. Good riddance!
Onward to: Chapter 32
Back to: Chapter 30
Back to: Table of Contents
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It would give a level of creepiness, make High Priestesses have this weird, ultimate control over fledglings and vampires (and thus, PLOT!), and explain away why vampires didn't share it with humans: can't share something you don't know about! On could even pull out that this is the reason humans have such a distrust of humans: there are rumors there are vampires that can erase enemies, the humans found out and demanded the vampires came clean, yet, the vampires legitimately didn't know what they were talking about. So, mixed with old vampire legends and this new huge rumors, humans and vampires don't get along.
That took me about a minute and I extrapolated from one sentence. I have everything the Casts want.
Big vampire secret that humans don't know about? Check.
High Priestesses are evil? Check.
Vampires look misunderstood? Check.
Humans jumping to conclusions? Check.
A plot that can span multiple books? Check.
Me being awesome and showcasing how I'm 100x more creative than both Casts put together? Triple Check.
If I knew it would be this easy to write a mediocre vampire book, I would have traded in my dragons.
no subject
A personality-rewriting, mind control STD, at that. Seriously, it's unconscionable if the vampires are keeping this a secret. This is the kind of stuff they make public service announcements about - "This is your brain on Imprint"! And it wouldn't be a problem if the vampire world was supposed to be sinister, or at least questionable, but as it is, it just comes across as more of the anti-human bull that keeps showing up in these vampire books.
no subject
Spite Time!
***
"I wish to congratulate you, Zoey Redbird."
The goddess smiled, showing me her perfect teeth, which were the same color as her skin.
"Oh, thank you!" I squeaked, still overly happy I was alive. "The ghosts weren't hard to stop and-" I cut off as Nyx laughed, tossing her hair back.
"Stopped them? Oh, Little Redbird, you didn't stop them."
"What?"
"You sent the tunnel ceiling caving in. The police won't be able to dig through that, being the pathetic humans that they are. My plan is turning out for the best, it seems." the goddess examined her long nails as she spoke, splaying her hand out to see them better. She finally looked back at me when I never answered her, still frozen from shock.
I ran my tongue over my lips "You-you wanted them to get away?"
Nyx seemed surprised. "Why, of course. It's not like their doing any serious harm."
I took a frightened step back. "They're killing people!"
The goddess laughed again, but there was nothing comforting about it. "They're humans. It's not as if they're killing other vampires."
I was truly seeing my goddess for the first time. Her teeth seemed to grow into fangs and her hands curled into claws.
"What's wrong, Zoey?"
"You're a monster." Well, as long as we're being honest... "And I am, too."
The goddess' face darkened. "Redbird, do you question my choice in Marking you?"
"Yes. Because I've become a horrible monster. But that's over now. I don't answer to you anymore."
A howling wind came blowing towards me from Nyx's direction. Fire leaped from one palm, and water flowed from another. The ground split and huge roots twisted around her feet, spiraling up to her knees. A glowing pearly cloud formed behind her, and it in I saw miserable faces of the deceased glowering at me.
"I wish to congratulate you." She said again, but coldly, waspishly.
"And?"
“And I wish to remind you that the elements can restore as well as destroy.”
"You're right. I going to use them for both."
"What?"
"I'm taking out your twisted regime, Nyx. And I'll be using my powers to help the families of the boys you killed."
She puffed up like an angry rooster. "How dare you even-"
"Meeting adjourned!" I snapped, and in a second, I was lying on gravel. Marx was shaking me.
"Kid? Hey, kid. You okay?"
I sat up and nearly bumped heads with him. My thoughts went to my family. Suddenly John didn't seem so condescending.
"Yeah. Could-could you..."
"What?"
"Could you take me home?"
Re: Spite Time!
Re: Spite Time!
Thanks, ZeldaQueen!
(Anonymous) 2012-04-28 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)Since I write a little myself, I've been using these books as my manual on things to avoid at all costs, so at least I get something out of it, right? oh well... not really because most of it is just so effin' obvious.
So thanks for creating this brilliant sporking. It makes me feel a little better about the hours wasted on this cr@p that I get to laugh about it now.
I'm really looking forward to your sporking of Chosen. You should have a field day with that one!
Eibhy
Re: Thanks, ZeldaQueen!
Well, best to get something out of it. XD These books do nicely illustrate How to Not Write YA, don't they?
And thank you very much! I'm glad you like the sporkings so much. ^_^ I'm looking forward to Chosen as well. That was about when I went from being irritated with the series to having my jaw drop and go "Whaaaaa?"
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