zelda_queen (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
zelda_queen) wrote2011-03-11 12:08 pm
zelda_queen) wrote2011-03-11 12:08 pm
Marked: Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: This is our climax folks. Hold on to your hats. Or, if you want something far more entertaining to read, winki_pop has written a lovely crack fic between Mr. Heifer and Heath
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: When we last left this book, the Aphrodite just did a ritual WHICH TOTALLY WON'T BACKFIRE AT ALL, NO, Heath showed up for no reason at all, and the climax just started.
Just one more chapter after this one, ladies and gents. We can make it.
Zoey freaks out because Heath is there, which is a valid concern, considering that they're mostly surrounded by vampiric misandrists. Heath, for his part, is oblivious to any and all danger and runs over to hug Zoey. Oh, and he's drunk out of his head. Of course. By this point, I'm convinced that he's got some rare mutation that causes his heart to somehow pump blood with alcohol already inside of it.
Aphrodite interrupts, telling Zoey to let Heath stay. We're told how she's looking really otherworldly and weird and creepy, and of course Heath fails to notice any of this besides the fact of "Cool, a vampyre chick".
Erik proceeds to show sense and starts insisting that Heath leave as well. Heath promptly goes all jealous boyfriend on him, asking if he's horning in on Zoey. Zoey keeps grinding her teeth and insisting to Heath that no they are not dating, now please go away, all the while making asides about how this behavior is exactly why she dumped him. And yet she pitched a fit when it looked like Kayla wanted to date him.
I'm just sayin'...
Erik asks Heath "Are you stupid?" and before a fight can break out, Aphrodite interrupts again. Her voice is still all creepy and hollow and she starts groping her breasts and posing suggestively to get Heath over to her. I...I really don't know what to say to this, besides "This is really stupid". Although I do find it creepy that this was all written by a middle-aged woman and her teenage daughter!
Heath starts ambling towards Aphrodite, and Erik and Zoey grab hold of him and try to keep him out of the circle. Zoey starts screaming at Heath to leave and how she doesn't want him there, and he starts accusing her of cheating on him. *scratches head* And no, he is paying no attention to the ghosts or any of the stuff going on. I've never been drunk, but I do have to wonder how smashed one has to get to not notice fucking demons flying around?
At this point, the ghost-things say that if Heath won't come to them, they'll go to him. Oh, and we get one sentence explaining that Aphrodite had been possessed and is now crying and shaky and pale because of it.
And then Damien and the Twins leap out of the bushes, shouting at Aphrodite to keep the circle closed so the ghosts can't leave. The fuck? This is the big reveal?
Hold it together, we're nearly at the end. Aphrodite says that she doesn't care if the ghosts get Heath, because she is Evil. The other four people who were completing the circle randomly decide to just leave, breaking the circle and letting them out.
And what do you know, Stevie Rae was the refrigerator! What a twist! Who saw that one coming? It's not like we were beaten over the head with it! Oh yeah, this is supposed to be some sort of character development for her, that she faces her fears with Aphrodite and does this thing. Okay, I have to ask, why wasn't Aphrodite suspicious of this? Stevie Rae has spent all of her time hiding from her and being scared, and then out of the blue volunteers for the job? Aphrodite knows that she's in tight with Zoey, why accept what clearly is some kind of ruse? Or why didn't Aphrodite use the knowledge of who the refrigerator was to torment Zoey? We're told how Aphrodite is so evil and has all sorts of tricks to make Zoey miserable. Wouldn't that be the best one, continually hinting to Zoey that her best friend is the one donating the blood? And remember what I told you to remember before, about how Aphrodite said it was a nice new refrigerator? Stevie Rae ISN'T new! They used her before, or at least tried to! Why wouldn't Aphrodite make mention of that? It would seem a great thing for her to make fun of, the idea of breaking Stevie Rae down to take the job willingly!
Gah! Must make it to the end!
The smoky ghosts have reached Heath by now, and are clawing at his legs and causing him to bleed. Erik is trying to fight them off and is getting cut up as well and...I guess everyone else is just sitting and staring or something. I don't know, they have zero purpose here. Zoey, meanwhile, has her five people and runs up to make her own ritual circle. Aphrodite protests and the Twins tell her off and I'm supposed to think that this is such a sweet reunion because they still care for Zoey, even though Zoey was such a bitch to them one chapter ago and was sure they'd never again side with her.
I repeat - this argument was one chapter ago, an hour or two in the story's time, and there was no sign that they were avoiding Zoey. This is almost as bad as Victoria Todd freaking out when her eighteen-year-old son disappeared for ten minutes in Sins of the Father!
Zoey summons the elements and we get a lot of her being relieved and thanking Nyx for letting it all happen quickly and flawlessly. Oh yeah, what about the fact that there's no reason for her to be worried? She feels the elements every time they're summoned! She can summon wind on command! She's already done this without a hitch! There is no reason, none at all, for me to believe that something would go wrong here and cause her to fail!
With everything summoned, she asks them to take the wine and blood and leave. They say thanks but no thanks, they'll be drinking from Heath. So Zoey outright orders them to leave and they turn to attack her. Damien tells everyone to stay where they are, because the circle is strong enough that none of them can be hurt so long as they stay in their places.
*raises hand* How does Damien know this? How come this wasn't the case with Aphrodite's circle? Is the implication that Zoey is stronger? (Yes, I'm sure it is) Oh, and where the fuck is the sense of tension, if all the main characters have to do to save the day is stand in one spot without the slightest chance of harm coming to them?
We're beaten over the head with how empowered Zoey feels from everyone's loyalty and I am furious because again THEY ARE IN NO DANGER! THEY CAN'T BE HURT! YES IT'S GREAT THAT THEY SHOWED UP AND DIDN'T RUN IN FEAR, BUT THEY KNOW THEY AREN'T GOING TO BE ATTACKED! IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE ACTUALLY IN DANGER!
*rubs head* Eaaaaasy. Eassssy.
Zoey orders the ghosts to take the wine-blood and go and...they just do. That's it. She says "Leave" and...that's...that's our climax.
OH MY GOD DO I FEEL CHEATED! I WAITED TWENTY-EIGHT CHAPTERS FOR THAT AND THAT'S IT??? OH MY GOD!
Oh and to top it all off, ZOEY GETS MORE MAGIC TATTOOS! Specifically, she gets a "delicate swirl of lace-like sapphire tattooing framed my eyes" which of course is "unheard of in a fledgling" and looks like "something that should decorate the face of an exotic foreign princess…or maybe the High Priestess of a goddess". And she has ANOTHER ON HER SHOULDER, which is even more grand and mysterious and beautiful!!!
This is going to kill me, I just know it.
Erik calls to her at this point, telling her that Heath is unconscious and needs help. Aphrodite is Scary and tells them to just leave him for the security guards to find in the morning. Zoey rounds on Aphrodite and starts telling her off for being bitchy, evil, hateful, etc. She also blames Aphrodite because her circle broke, even though (A) Aphrodite had just been possessed and was clearly very shaken by the experience and (B) Zoey says it's Aphrodite's fault that the other girls ran away! In other words, Zoey is blaming Aphrodite for not having better friends!
She also yells at Aphrodite for not burning the sage first, and I have to wonder is this the first time that Aphrodite has burned sweet grass in this ritual? Because I got the feeling that she's done this before. If so, why forget sage this time? If she didn't know, why hasn't this happened before?
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Back to: Table of Contents
Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...
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Chapter 28
ZeldaQueen: When we last left this book, the Aphrodite just did a ritual WHICH TOTALLY WON'T BACKFIRE AT ALL, NO, Heath showed up for no reason at all, and the climax just started.
Just one more chapter after this one, ladies and gents. We can make it.
Zoey freaks out because Heath is there, which is a valid concern, considering that they're mostly surrounded by vampiric misandrists. Heath, for his part, is oblivious to any and all danger and runs over to hug Zoey. Oh, and he's drunk out of his head. Of course. By this point, I'm convinced that he's got some rare mutation that causes his heart to somehow pump blood with alcohol already inside of it.
Aphrodite interrupts, telling Zoey to let Heath stay. We're told how she's looking really otherworldly and weird and creepy, and of course Heath fails to notice any of this besides the fact of "Cool, a vampyre chick".
Erik proceeds to show sense and starts insisting that Heath leave as well. Heath promptly goes all jealous boyfriend on him, asking if he's horning in on Zoey. Zoey keeps grinding her teeth and insisting to Heath that no they are not dating, now please go away, all the while making asides about how this behavior is exactly why she dumped him. And yet she pitched a fit when it looked like Kayla wanted to date him.
I'm just sayin'...
Erik asks Heath "Are you stupid?" and before a fight can break out, Aphrodite interrupts again. Her voice is still all creepy and hollow and she starts groping her breasts and posing suggestively to get Heath over to her. I...I really don't know what to say to this, besides "This is really stupid". Although I do find it creepy that this was all written by a middle-aged woman and her teenage daughter!
Heath starts ambling towards Aphrodite, and Erik and Zoey grab hold of him and try to keep him out of the circle. Zoey starts screaming at Heath to leave and how she doesn't want him there, and he starts accusing her of cheating on him. *scratches head* And no, he is paying no attention to the ghosts or any of the stuff going on. I've never been drunk, but I do have to wonder how smashed one has to get to not notice fucking demons flying around?
At this point, the ghost-things say that if Heath won't come to them, they'll go to him. Oh, and we get one sentence explaining that Aphrodite had been possessed and is now crying and shaky and pale because of it.
And then Damien and the Twins leap out of the bushes, shouting at Aphrodite to keep the circle closed so the ghosts can't leave. The fuck? This is the big reveal?
Hold it together, we're nearly at the end. Aphrodite says that she doesn't care if the ghosts get Heath, because she is Evil. The other four people who were completing the circle randomly decide to just leave, breaking the circle and letting them out.
And what do you know, Stevie Rae was the refrigerator! What a twist! Who saw that one coming? It's not like we were beaten over the head with it! Oh yeah, this is supposed to be some sort of character development for her, that she faces her fears with Aphrodite and does this thing. Okay, I have to ask, why wasn't Aphrodite suspicious of this? Stevie Rae has spent all of her time hiding from her and being scared, and then out of the blue volunteers for the job? Aphrodite knows that she's in tight with Zoey, why accept what clearly is some kind of ruse? Or why didn't Aphrodite use the knowledge of who the refrigerator was to torment Zoey? We're told how Aphrodite is so evil and has all sorts of tricks to make Zoey miserable. Wouldn't that be the best one, continually hinting to Zoey that her best friend is the one donating the blood? And remember what I told you to remember before, about how Aphrodite said it was a nice new refrigerator? Stevie Rae ISN'T new! They used her before, or at least tried to! Why wouldn't Aphrodite make mention of that? It would seem a great thing for her to make fun of, the idea of breaking Stevie Rae down to take the job willingly!
Gah! Must make it to the end!
The smoky ghosts have reached Heath by now, and are clawing at his legs and causing him to bleed. Erik is trying to fight them off and is getting cut up as well and...I guess everyone else is just sitting and staring or something. I don't know, they have zero purpose here. Zoey, meanwhile, has her five people and runs up to make her own ritual circle. Aphrodite protests and the Twins tell her off and I'm supposed to think that this is such a sweet reunion because they still care for Zoey, even though Zoey was such a bitch to them one chapter ago and was sure they'd never again side with her.
I repeat - this argument was one chapter ago, an hour or two in the story's time, and there was no sign that they were avoiding Zoey. This is almost as bad as Victoria Todd freaking out when her eighteen-year-old son disappeared for ten minutes in Sins of the Father!
Zoey summons the elements and we get a lot of her being relieved and thanking Nyx for letting it all happen quickly and flawlessly. Oh yeah, what about the fact that there's no reason for her to be worried? She feels the elements every time they're summoned! She can summon wind on command! She's already done this without a hitch! There is no reason, none at all, for me to believe that something would go wrong here and cause her to fail!
With everything summoned, she asks them to take the wine and blood and leave. They say thanks but no thanks, they'll be drinking from Heath. So Zoey outright orders them to leave and they turn to attack her. Damien tells everyone to stay where they are, because the circle is strong enough that none of them can be hurt so long as they stay in their places.
*raises hand* How does Damien know this? How come this wasn't the case with Aphrodite's circle? Is the implication that Zoey is stronger? (Yes, I'm sure it is) Oh, and where the fuck is the sense of tension, if all the main characters have to do to save the day is stand in one spot without the slightest chance of harm coming to them?
We're beaten over the head with how empowered Zoey feels from everyone's loyalty and I am furious because again THEY ARE IN NO DANGER! THEY CAN'T BE HURT! YES IT'S GREAT THAT THEY SHOWED UP AND DIDN'T RUN IN FEAR, BUT THEY KNOW THEY AREN'T GOING TO BE ATTACKED! IT'S NOT LIKE THEY'RE ACTUALLY IN DANGER!
*rubs head* Eaaaaasy. Eassssy.
Zoey orders the ghosts to take the wine-blood and go and...they just do. That's it. She says "Leave" and...that's...that's our climax.
OH MY GOD DO I FEEL CHEATED! I WAITED TWENTY-EIGHT CHAPTERS FOR THAT AND THAT'S IT??? OH MY GOD!
Oh and to top it all off, ZOEY GETS MORE MAGIC TATTOOS! Specifically, she gets a "delicate swirl of lace-like sapphire tattooing framed my eyes" which of course is "unheard of in a fledgling" and looks like "something that should decorate the face of an exotic foreign princess…or maybe the High Priestess of a goddess". And she has ANOTHER ON HER SHOULDER, which is even more grand and mysterious and beautiful!!!
This is going to kill me, I just know it.
Erik calls to her at this point, telling her that Heath is unconscious and needs help. Aphrodite is Scary and tells them to just leave him for the security guards to find in the morning. Zoey rounds on Aphrodite and starts telling her off for being bitchy, evil, hateful, etc. She also blames Aphrodite because her circle broke, even though (A) Aphrodite had just been possessed and was clearly very shaken by the experience and (B) Zoey says it's Aphrodite's fault that the other girls ran away! In other words, Zoey is blaming Aphrodite for not having better friends!
She also yells at Aphrodite for not burning the sage first, and I have to wonder is this the first time that Aphrodite has burned sweet grass in this ritual? Because I got the feeling that she's done this before. If so, why forget sage this time? If she didn't know, why hasn't this happened before?
Ack, there I go again with my Earth logic.
Zoey says that the refrigerator thing is going to be put to an end and Aphrodite mocks her for craving blood. We're then beat over the head with how OH NO, HER FRIENDS KNOW THE SECRET NOW, but what's this, THEY DON'T CARE, WHAT WONDERFUL FRIENDS!!! Hooray for pointless conflict!
Aphrodite cottons on to the fact that Zoey wants to be the next leader of the Dark Daughters, and Zoey gives us this
"'I am. I didn't come to the House of Night asking for these powers. All I wanted was a place to fit in. Well, I guess this is Nyx's way of answering my prayer.' I smiled at my friends and they grinned back at me. 'Clearly, the Goddess has a sense of humor'"
ZeldaQueen: That's got to be one of the worst displays of humility that I've ever seen.
Aphrodite points out that only the High Priestess can change Dark Daughter leadership, and OH LOOK, HERE COMES NEFERET WHO CLEARLY HAS SEEN EVERYTHING! HOW EXCITING! END CHAPTER!
One more chapter, ladies and gentlemen. One more chapter. We can make it
Onward to: Chapter 29
Back to: Chapter 27
Back to: Table of Contents
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Volturi: We're gonna kill you people!
Bella: No, you're not! Please go away.
Volturi: Um, no?
Edward: ZOMG WHAT DO WE DO
Bella: Relax, they can't hurt us.
Volturi: It's true, we can't hurt you!
Bella: I repeat--please go away.
Volturi: Okay! *leave*
Man. I hope this isn't a trend and becoming a more and more popular climax.
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I hope so too. :(
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THAT. WAS. AWFUL.
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Okay, what is with Zoey getting new tats? Huh? What, every time she accomplishes something she's gonna get a new prettyful marking on her? Is this gonna happen in all the books, she just gets new pictures on her near the end of each book? Because that can not look good after a while.
I'm reminded of a horror manga I read once, where the girl ended up getting various marks on her body over the years, in the randomest of places, until her skin was a mottled black/gray/dark brown and she went insane after catching her reflection.
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(Anonymous) 2011-03-11 11:56 pm (UTC)(link)HOW STUPID CAN THIS THING GET?!
Oh, wait, I'd better not ask. Sue stories are somehow always capable of reaching a new low.
The whole thing seems like a (bad) fanfic which somehow got published. Now what does that remind me of again?...
- FL II
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(Anonymous) 2011-03-12 12:28 am (UTC)(link)no subject
"Crap," said the reader, and shut the book.
Easy as 1-2-3.
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I actually find anti-climaxes very amusing, it's odd, but I really laugh whenever they happen. Especially when it's meant to be climatic - like it is here. :P
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You can thank Twilight for that. The Cast ladies were told to do a vampire boarding school book, and apparently "quality writing" was not a part of the criteria.
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Seriously, THAT was the BIG CONFLICT? God, even Heath didn't do anything funny! And you know what, Zoey? You NEVER formally dumped Heath, so how was he supposed to know it was over? (Granted, he may have been too wasted to notice anyway :P) And that is just the shittest piece of narrative I've ever seen, a random drunken character just stumbling into a museum because He Can. You're shitting me, right? And no editor EVER picked up on this?! I am appalled.
And the ghosts just came and went? I like to think they were just people with sheets on their heads, 'cos that's about as scary as it was.
And I like to think that Aphrodite's minions didn’t flee from her during the ritual, but rather just rolling their eyes and saying 'fuck this' and leaving the museum in disgust, wondering how the hell they got written into such a shitty story.
'"'I am. I didn't come to the House of Night asking for these powers. All I wanted was a place to fit in. Well, I guess this is Nyx's way of answering my prayer.' I smiled at my friends and they grinned back at me. 'Clearly, the Goddess has a sense of humor'"'
When I read this quote, I imagined Zoey saying it all with gentle backing music and in that 'you know, I learnt something today' tone that they do at the end of an episode with an Aesop for the viewers to learn. It wasn't just cheesy and made me feel dirty and cheated, but it was practically the Casts not being bothered anymore and just made Zoey Sue-out completely! You may have not come to the House of Night asking for the powers, Zoey, but you sure felt entitled to them and plenty more! >.<
Okay, since we're almost at the end, here is my Dream Casting Call for the movie version so far (anyone else may share theirs, also, I encourage it! :P):
Zoey - I… really have NO idea! I have wracked my brain and nothing! :P
Kayla - Ke$ha? (because Kayla's all trampy, which is pretty much all her characterisation right there :P)
Stevie Rae - Miley Cyrus (well, she was Hannah Montana, she has 'hayseed' act down :D)?
Heifer - I really want to say Mel Gibson, because who do you think of when you say 'religious crackpot'? :P
Ferret - Megan Fox?
Erik - Some flavour of the month that all the chicks will slaver over, maybe that dude out of I Am Number Four?
Think of more later.
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You're right. She never actually broke up with him. She really is Bella Swan Mark 2
"And I like to think that Aphrodite's minions didn’t flee from her during the ritual, but rather just rolling their eyes and saying 'fuck this' and leaving the museum in disgust, wondering how the hell they got written into such a shitty story"
That's pretty much how it was written. They didn't sound scared, they sounded bored! Honestly!
"It wasn't just cheesy and made me feel dirty and cheated, but it was practically the Casts not being bothered anymore and just made Zoey Sue-out completely! You may have not come to the House of Night asking for the powers, Zoey, but you sure felt entitled to them and plenty more! >.<"
This, so very much.
I have no idea who'd be a good Zoey either. I think Megan Fox would be better suited as one of the Twins though. And you're thinking of Alex Pettyfer, who was also in Beastly. He sounds good. ^^
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Yeah, that's who I was thinking of, thanks :D
Oh, and there's something about BH I really wanna tell you but it's a big spoiler alert. It's got fangirls melting down over it. Would you like me to tell you?
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If you want to know, click here, your choice :P
http://winki-pop.livejournal.com/10764.html?#cutid1
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But, IF you screw it up, you can't just say "lol, new circle tiem" and complete the original ritual. You have to actually banish them. Maybe you need to circle around burning sage, or maybe get into a physical or magical/elemental altercation, but you can't just continue the ritual that's like putting a helmet on someone after they fall off their bicycle and crack their skull.
I'd like to say that if the Casts are actually Neowiccan, then this isn't just an anticlimax, it is (by their beliefs) really, really harmful misinformation.
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I am really feeling bad for poor Aphrodite though. I mean if Neferet is bad it obviously makes sense that Aphrodite won't tell her about the visions and then Zoey blames her for everything going wrong with the ritual and ahh I know we are supposed to hate her but I just feel bad for her
On the other hand Zoey can literally disappear right now. She is infuriating me too much.
Great spork though made me laugh out loud a lot!^^
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Although to give the Cast ladies some credit, unlike other Scary Sues in books like this, Aphrodite at least gets character development and forms a friendship of sorts with Zoey. If TV Tropes is to be believed, she also becomes something of an ensemble darkhorse in the fandom.