zelda_queen | Hush, Hush: The Story Behind The Story

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Hush, Hush: The Story Behind The Story

ZeldaQueen: So. We've trekked through the story itself, the acknowledgements, the jacket summary, and now it's time for the last bit of fail - Fitzpatrick's account of how she hatched this stinker of a ~~fail~~ tale. We all ready?

Projection Room Voices: Starting Media in 3...2...1...

The Story Behind The Story

The day was February 3, 2003, and the event was my twenty-fourth birthday.

ZeldaQueen: Lady, you're telling us how you came up with a story idea, not how you figured out the Zodiac Killer's identity

After a long debate between Japanese cooking lessons and an eight-week writing class, my husband decided to give me the writing class for my birthday present.

ZeldaQueen: Ah, so this is the point to blame for that book's creation! *makes note for event of time travel*

I have to admit, I was hoping for the Japanese cooking lessons because A) I took one English course in college and my professor threatened to fail me,

ZeldaQueen: Given the prose in this thing, I'm not surprised. "A smile that spelled trouble with a promise", what?

and B) I didn't think I had a story to tell.

ZeldaQueen: *glances at the sloppy, incoherant mess of a "plot"* No comment

But at the same time, I felt a scary and almost magnetic draw to the class.

ZeldaQueen: By now, I think that phrase reliably causes my eye to twitch violently. Fitzpatrick, you were attending a writing class. Stop acting like you were fulfilling some huge destiny by going! And for the love of all things holy, DON'T USE THE SAME DESCRIPTIONS THAT YOU HAD YOUR IDIOT PROTAGONIST USE TO EXCUSE HER RELATIONSHIP WITH PATCH THE DICKHEAD!

When I was eight years old, I watched Romancing the Stone for the first time and promptly announced to my mom that I would grow up to be a writer. Granted, I thought all writers hunted for treasure in Colombia and fell in love with a sexy, mysterious stranger a.k.a. Michael Douglas.

ZeldaQueen: Uh...you were interested in pursuing sexy strangers in jungles when you were eight?!

In the following autumn, I started a new book about a sixteen-year-old girl named Ellie Fairchild (who would later become Nora Grey),

ZeldaQueen: Does "Fairchild" have some meaning I'm not aware of? I'm sure it's coincidence, but that was also the maiden name of Clary's damsel-in-distress mother in the Mortal Instrument series

her backstabbing and manipulative best friend, Vee Sky,

ZeldaQueen: *cheerfully* Well, good to see that part didn't change very much!

and Ellie's sexy bad boy bio partner, Patch (who had a very big secret he’d been keeping).

ZeldaQueen: He was secretly a woman

Thinking I'd write the book and figure out Patch's big secret later, I finished a rough draft in a matter of weeks.

ZeldaQueen: That...explains a lot about the coherency of this thing

I wasn't very happy with 99 percent of the plot, and Vee as a backstabbing best friend wasn't working for me.

ZeldaQueen: Oh, really? Then why didn't you change that in the final product? *pointed stare*

With a lack of workable ideas to fix the story, I decided to shelve it.

ZeldaQueen: Wish it had stayed there. Although I'd like to point out that there were plenty of ideas you could have picked form, most of which involved Nora realizing what a stalkery creep Patch was and getting him arrested

A few months later, I pulled the story out and tried again. I kept the first three chapters but scrapped everything beyond that point.

ZeldaQueen: Does that include the massively inappropriate teacher? And Patch sexually harassing Nora in front of her classmates?

After a brief hiatus, I was hit with an overwhelming desire to pull

ZeldaQueen: - a rabbit out of my ass

out the book and try again. But this time something was different, very different.

ZeldaQueen: (Fitzpatrick) "I felt the oddest sensation, as if I ought to get an editor, refrain from painting Patch's actions in a positive light, and give Nora some agency! The feeling passed, fortunately"

I knew Patch's secret.

ZeldaQueen: Where he hid his Halloween candy, the naughty boy!

He was still the ultimate bad boy...but now I knew that hadn't always been the case.

ZeldaQueen: Really? Could have fooled me, going off of the end product

At one point long ago, he'd been upstanding, and something had caused him to change his ways.

ZeldaQueen: I'm sorry, the notion that Patch was ever in any way upstanding does not compute

As I thought about his progression from good to bad, I couldn't shake the image of falling.

ZeldaQueen: Um...yeah. It's a very obvious and often-thought-of metaphor, given how infamous the whole "fallen from grace" thing is. You want a medal for coming up with such a well-known bit of imagery?

After that, everything fell into place.

ZeldaQueen: *wryly* Fitzpatrick, did you see what you did thar?

I knew Patch was a fallen angel. That realization opened up endless possibilities – I could literally make him anything I wanted.

ZeldaQueen: Um, no. No you can't. You just said you made him a fallen angel. Yes, you could re-imagine what a fallen angel is, but you can't entirely ignore the fact that you chose to make your male hero SOMETHING LARGELY CONSIDERED TO BE A DEMON!

And I did just that.

ZeldaQueen: And did it terribly. I swear, I have no idea how the mythology in that world is supposed to work!

I do hope you enjoy it.

ZeldaQueen: *strained smile* How optimistic!

Becca

ZeldaQueen: I hate you

Onward to: Final Assessment

Back to: The Story

Return to: Table of Contents

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Wait, so all the Twilight similarities are just...a coincidence? Uh huh...okay.

I'm confused. Didn't that writing class teach her the importance of PLANNING out the novel (or series) BEFORE you put pen to paper? Ah, well, with the level of tripe nowadays, it seems like everyone is ignoring that. Nice to know I wasted four years. I could have winged it and been published by now!

I could understand the 'going on hiatus and then getting the pull to write again' thing. I got that all the time. Know what I called that? Burnout.

Nice how she skipped over the story of how she got published...

So, she considers final-version!Vee to be a good friend? That has some rather unfortunate implications on what Fitzpatrick's real-life friends are/were like, in my opinion.

He was still the ultimate bad boy...but now I knew that hadn't always been the case.
...
At one point long ago, he'd been upstanding, and something had caused him to change his ways.
You know, Fitzpatrick, I'd be more inclined to believe that if we had some evidence that Patch used to be a nice guy at some point. Because there is none. At all. What-so-freaking-ever.

I used to go about my writing like that. Have people, have a VERY VAGUE IDEA of the setting, and bother about the plot later.

Until I realized that the "wing it" tactic is a big no-no. Nothing happens, and many pointless "it's for teh lulz!" scenes made their way into the story. And that's just awful.

I don't always have the exact events down, but I always know what I want to happen in the plot.

For instance, I'm currently planning a Nuzlocke comic run for Pokemon Black. Since I don't want to do the whole in-game run well in advance, I can't plan out everything that happens, but I do know what I'm doing with an overarching plot outside the game's storyline. I don't have the specific details, but I still know major events, and if I'm introducing a "mysterious" character, I'd damn well better know their secret before they enter the story!

Also, calling Patch a "bad boy" is like calling Jack the Ripper "rowdy". It's TECHNICALLY accurate, but it's also the understatement of the century.

... Also, I could totally see a reveal of Patch being Jack the Ripper.

"... Also, I could totally see a reveal of Patch being Jack the Ripper."

Dude. That would be the PERFECT reveal, that Patch spent that time period running around England, stabbing and killing women he picked up off the street. That has got to be saved for fanfiction!

Added bonus if he reveals this as he decides he want that thrill back and pulls a knife on Nora.

Plus, there's a semi-popular theory that the Whitechapel killings could have stopped because the killer went to New York, as there was at least one similar murder there around the same time period. Well hey there, reason for going to America!

To an extent, I can understand the "just wing it" approach, especially if there's the issue of writer's block and the writer just needs to try *something* to get the story going. The thing is though, if you do that, you will almost certainly need to go back and extensively edit it. That includes making sure the storyline matches up, the pacing works, any unnecessary scenes are removed, details and characterization are consistent, and that the whole thing generally flows well. In short, everything Fitzpatrick didn't do.

Yeaaah, I usually don't try writing UNTIL I know the generic idea of where I'm going.

And, like chibi_regalli said, if anyone has a secret, I better damn well know it before writing.

That's how most of my stories are. I'll have characters and normally an event I'm heading for, then I just write it all out. Sometimes this works but editing almost always includes at least one complete re-write to iron everything out.

And I'm starting to believe more and more in planning as I write.

This account isn't very clear. She says she had a desire to become a writer when she was eight years old, and then she says she wrote a rough draft for a book "in a matter of weeks" the following autumn. Does she mean she wrote this when she was eight?!

I get what she means - but, yeah. She doesn't seem to be able to narrate even this coherently.

Just wanted to say congrats on finishing the sporking of this crap...
... well okay, the first book of this crap (why did this book need sequels again?)

Because the gods of YA literature are displeased? I can't see this happening without some serious malice towards readers everywhere, and I doubt even the most hardened, cynical editor would look at this and not go "do I REALLY want this abomination on my resume?"

I figure if we all make some little effigy dolls of the Twilight cast and burn them as a sacrifice, we might be able to purge the blight. Or at least vent some rage.

/ZeldaQueen: Does "Fairchild" have some meaning I'm not aware of? I'm sure it's coincidence, but that was also the maiden name of Clary's damsel-in-distress mother in the Mortal Instrument series/

According to http://surnames.behindthename.com, Fairchild means, obviously enough, “beautiful child” in Middle English. So, maybe it is just a coincidence.

/her backstabbing and manipulative best friend, Vee Sky,/

Yes, because why give your female protagonist a female friend who was loyal, dependable, and intelligent? Girls are just shallow, fickle, and catty creatures who will claw each other to death over guys, it’s not like any of us can truly bond together and form lasting friendships like guys can. *rolls eyes*

/ZeldaQueen: He was secretly a woman/

I would laugh my head off if that proved to be the case.

/ZeldaQueen: Oh, really? Then why didn't you change that in the final product? *pointed stare*/

Wait a minute. So, she *doesn’t* think that the current version of Vee is still backstabbing and manipulative? She thinks that the new version of Vee is a great friend and is so much better than her original design? What universe does this woman live in?

/He was still the ultimate bad boy...but now I knew that hadn't always been the case./

If by “bad-boy,” you meant “criminally dangerous and sleazy creep whose yearbook picture reads “Most Likely to Become a Sex Offender.”

/At one point long ago, he'd been upstanding, and something had caused him to change his ways./

*When?* When was he ever upstanding? When he was still an angel? You know, when he cheated on his girlfriend in favor of lusting after some random mortal girl? After he became a fallen angel and stalked and harassed another mortal girl just so that he could get a human body? *When?*

/I knew Patch was a fallen angel. That realization opened up endless possibilities – I could literally make him anything I wanted./

Oh, just like how Meyer can make her vampires anything that *she* wants? “It’s fantasy; I can do what I want!” *groans*

/and Ellie's sexy bad boy bio partner, Patch (who had a very big secret he’d been keeping).

ZeldaQueen: He was secretly a woman/

I have to write that. The story of a girl who falls for a ‘guy’ who seems like total bad boy, but in reality is actually a FtM transgender who is trying to express himself because he isn’t emotionally ready for the process of becoming who he is on the inside.
What follows is a story of discovery and understanding - although I’m a fantasy writer by default so it would be kind of tricky for me.

Perhaps if I throw the concept into my fantasy world setting it’ll work?

I kinda want a clock work doll girl in there for some reason-

Now it’s getting convoluted - people can feel free to adopt the story to their hearts content… (Except the clock work doll girl - she's MINE!)
Just write a quick - “Thank you my Overlord ~ he’ll know who he is!” at the start…

/I knew Patch was a fallen angel. That realization opened up endless possibilities – I could literally make him anything I wanted/

So you made him a creep! Brilliant little prat when you think about it - ain’t she! :)

aaaaaaAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!

I just read this whole sporking in one go, and I am appalled. Simply appalled. I made this face –- D: -– many times. I stumbled around the room, knocking things over. I punched out my own eyes with brooch pins.

This book is bad. I mean... BADDDD. This stupid pointless girl and this "I can't put enough quotes around the word 'angel' so I won't try" are HORRIBLE. I thought Twilight was bad. Twilight is a four-time Newbery Award-winning series compared to this. Words fail me.

On the one hand, I read this and think that if something like this can get published, surely anything I write will be considered.

On the other hand, I wonder how deluded a person could be to look at this and think it was... like... good writing, and if it is possible to be so blind.

And if only Stupid Girl and Stupid Face had not ended up together at the end –– if he had, say, died instead –– I would have thought the story was actually pretty interesting; a complete bastard of an angel beating this poor girl into submission, physically and mentally, and then... she grows a spine and gets out of it at the end? That would have been maybe all right. That may have been decent.

Ugh. Sorry. I just had to vent. Funny, though –– I lol'd several times. Just... not enough to ease all the pain.

[After a long debate between Japanese cooking lessons and an eight-week writing class, my husband decided to give me the writing class for my birthday present. I have to admit, I was hoping for the Japanese cooking lessons]

After all the incredibly controlling creepy-ass stalker love interest in this waste of dead trees, this is kind of disturbing. Who was debating, again? If she wanted the Japanese cooking lessons, why didn't she ask for him? Because like this it kind of sounds like they debated together which one he was going to give her for her birthday, and she wanted the cooking lessons, but didn't say so, and so he decided to give her the writing class. Even though he should have known she didn't like English.

Maybe I'm reading too much into things. But after Patch and all his fucking deciding...

It just rubs me wrong.

I can honestly say I've seen better romance between dogs (White Fang).

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Hush, Hush: The Story Behind The Story

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Laura

Finally, the end